


I Won't Let You Down

by MrsCriss2012



Series: I Won't Let You Down [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Age Difference, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-05
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-16 06:25:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 190,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2259336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsCriss2012/pseuds/MrsCriss2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU. 16 year old Blaine moves to Lima with his mom and new step family. Desperately unhappy and alone, he is befriended by one Burt Hummel who lives across the road. The pair start to restore a classic car together, but what will Blaine make of Burt's surly 27 year old son?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello one and all! Well, here I am with MY Klaine, written MY way and Karofsky nowhere in sight ;) I hope you'll all enjoy this story. So you all know in advance, it is AU, Blaine and Kurt have an 11 year age gap and I guess I should..warn, maybe, that it is a slow, drawn out was my intention to really build these characters through the chapters rather than rush the storytelling in any way. I've had a lot of fun writing it and I hope you'll love it as much as I do.
> 
> This story is for one Becky, with love from another.

Blaine Anderson closes his eyes and tries desperately not to choke. The stranger is relentless though, pushing his head further and further down until his cock hits the back of Blaine's throat, making him gag.

"I can't..." he cries, breaking off with a splutter as he gasps for air, but the stranger is too far gone to care, head thrown back, mouth parted as he simply grabs Blaine's hand and wraps it around himself, encouraging Blaine to jerk him off.

He does so frantically, desperate for this to be over but also thoroughly intrigued to see the man's face when he reaches his orgasm because holy shit does he look hot right now.

He doesn't have to wait long. Pretty soon the man thrusts up with a grunt of satisfaction, spilling hot and wet over Blaine's hand who doesn't know whether to look up or down. The guy leans back weakly against the seat, catching his breath in the darkness of the car while Blaine tries to decide what to do with his soiled hand.

In the end, deciding that the upholstery in his car is old and battered enough, he discreetly wipes it along the edge of the back seat and then folds his hands neatly in his lap, wondering what the hell happens now.

"Thanks," the stranger mumbles, tucking himself back into his jeans and tugging his shirt back into place. He doesn't even look at Blaine, just pulls open the car door and is gone, out into the night.

Blaine comes to life then, scrambling back into the drivers seat and starting the engine. His headlights scan the parking lot, picking the stranger out as he walks away from the car and the bar they were in not fifteen minutes prior. Blaine heads toward the exit, cutting him off before he can climb the grass embankment leading toward the road.

"Hey!" he calls through his open window. "Is that it?"

The stranger turns with a frown, and Blaine is once again stunned by his good looks, though his features seem hardened with anger and bitterness. "Is what it?" he snaps.

"That? You're just gonna walk away?"

He laughs, his hands on his hips as he stares Blaine down. "What were you expecting? Flowers? A romantic dinner for two?"

Blaine blushes furiously in the dark but he keeps the eye contact anyway, even though he senses he's about to be torn to shreds. "No, I just thought you might need a ride home, that's all."

"I'll walk."

"That's not very safe," Blaine points out. "It's gone midnight and..."

"Listen, little boy," the stranger snarls as he steps closer to the car. "That's all you are, got it? A little boy with a pretty mouth, which wasn't all that useful anyway. Now run along so you don't break your curfew, and don't try to play with the big guys in the future."

He is gone then, striding up the embankment and hopping over the small fence which takes him onto the road. Blaine sits for a while, not knowing whether he feels sad, hurt or just utterly hollow. In the end, he settles on the latter and with a heavy sigh, starts his engine once more and heads home.

**Two weeks later.**

"Move, you idiot!"

Max pushes past his new step brother Blaine, making him stumble and almost drop the box he's carrying. He makes to right himself but then his second new found and very much unwanted step brother James gives him a shove right into the path of brother number three, Simon, who simply sticks his leg out and watches as Blaine sprawls flat on his face, his books, model airplanes and other sentimental treasures falling from the box and scattering across the porch of their new family home.

"Blaine darling, be careful," his mom, Angie, calls from the back of the moving truck. Looking up at her new husband Spencer, she rolls her eyes. "Honestly. For someone so short he's incredibly awkward. All limbs."

"Everything about Blaine is awkward," Spencer grumbles as he hands her another box. "I don't know how he's made it this far in life, to be honest."

Blaine closes his eyes and tries to pretend he can't hear the conversation. He swallows hard, trying to block out all thoughts of his dad but he just can't help bringing him to mind sometimes. His kind eyes which seemed to sparkle with mischief and love. The way he would always reassure Blaine, whether he was nervous about a test or worried about having to make conversation with a stranger, simply by telling him he believed in him, and the way he would always, always hug him tight until he could feel Blaine relax in his arms.

Life sucks, Blaine thinks bitterly as he shoves his belongings back into the box.

"No, loser, you suck," Max remarks as he looks down at Blaine, who hadn't realized he had spoken out loud. They both spot the final airplane at the same time, over by the porch railings. The spitfire he and his dad had spent many evenings painstakingly gluing together and then painting. Blaine scrambles across the porch on his hands and knees but Max is quicker, crunching it underfoot and grinding his toe down for good measure until all Blaine is left with is a small pile of splintered wood.

"Mom!" he cries, perilously close to tears as he scrambles to his feet. "Mom! He broke my model! The spitfire!"

"Oh Blaine honey, I'm sure Max didn't mean it, did you Max?"

"Of course not," Max lies with a smooth smile. "I'd never do something like that on purpose, Blaine."

"He did! He did do it on purpose, mom, he stepped right on it!"

"Why would I do that?" Max protests. "I know you made those models with your dad, and now he's dead and you'll never see him again."

"Shut up," Blaine roars, making to charge at him but Spencer tackles him around the waist, holding him back.

"Easy there, buddy. Woah! Max said it was an accident, now just let it go. It's only a model airplane. You can buy a new kit, I'm sure."

"That's not the point," Blaine mutters, shaking himself free. "Not the point at all."

"Hey there!"

They all turn to see a man standing at the bottom of the porch steps, squinting up at them in the sunlight. Dressed in scruffy old jeans and a plaid shirt, a worn baseball cap on his head, Blaine finds himself inwardly recoiling at the sight of yet another brusque and gruff middle aged man. This whole street is probably full of them, Blaine thinks to himself as the man offers Spencer his hand.

"Burt Hummel. I live across the street there, forty nine," he says, gesturing to a house over the road and a few doors up. "Welcome to the neighborhood."

"Spencer Lane," Spencer replies, shaking his hand firmly. "This is my wife Angie and these are my boys, Max, James and Simon."

"Uh-huh, nice to meet you," Burt says with a nod, then he turns his attentions to the small boy dressed in shorts with a yellow plaid shirt and bow tie. His hair is dark, and gelled down tightly, his hazel eyes darting this way and that as he feels Burt's gaze on him and folds his arms tight across his chest. "And who's this?"

"Oh, that's Blaine," Spencer says quickly. "So, Burt, what do you do?"

"I'm a mechanic," he says distractedly. "So, Blaine, are you moving in too?"

"Uh...yeah," Blaine almost whispers with a small nod.

"Blaine is my son from my first marriage," Angie explains.

"I see. So you're one of those blended families then, huh? Great," Burt smiles. "So I guess you boys will start McKinley after the summer?"

"They sure will," Spencer says brightly. "All my boys play football. Simon will be a senior, Max a junior and James a sophomore."

Burt frowns, sure the omission is deliberate. "And Blaine?"

"He doesn't play football."

"No, I mean which year will he be in?"

"You'd think freshman, right?" Spencer asks with a laugh, giving Blaine a huge pat on the back. "But seriously, he's gonna be a junior with Max. They're both sixteen, believe it or not."

"Why wouldn't I believe it?" Burt asks with a frown. "He might not be as tall as your boys, but he looks like a fine young man to me. I gotta go. Nice meeting you Blaine, and the rest of you. See you around."

* * *

By the time nightfall comes, Blaine has had enough. He lies in his new room- the smallest one of course- and blinks back the tears which have been threatening all day. The move had been torture. Simon, Max and James seemed to take great delight in asking him to carry items which they knew full well were too heavy for him, and then laughing as they watched him struggle. His mom had been on cloud nine and refusing to hear anything bad about anyone, snapping at Blaine and telling him not to ruin the happiest day of their lives, and reminding him yet again how thankful he should be for moving to a nice new house and having a ready made 'band of brothers' as she insisted on calling his moronic torturers.

He had skipped out on dinner, claiming he had a headache and coming up here instead to lie on his bed and think of happier times. The trouble is, there aren't many. All Blaine's happy memories are tied up with his dad, which instantly taints them with a wretched sadness that he just doesn't feel ready to cope with.

That was the reason he had decided to try and find a boyfriend. Before he and his mom had moved from Cleveland, his one and only friend Zach had given him a fake ID, and knowing how much Blaine was dreading the move advised him that if ever things got too much he could always escape to a bar and pick up some chicks.

Zach didn't know it wasn't the girls he was interested in, no one knew that except Blaine and his late father, but still. Blaine appreciated the gesture and during the torturous month they had spent in Spencer's house while waiting for their new one to be ready, Blaine had snuck out through the basement window every Friday and Saturday night to drive to Scandals.

They barely gave his ID a cursory glance anyway, even though he was blatantly underage, and that first night Blaine had taken a seat at the bar where he stayed all night, nursing a Virgin Shirley Temple and just looking. Watching the way the other guys moved around each other, flirted, danced, made out. He hadn't spoken a word other than to the bartender, but he had returned the next night and actually managed to smile at one blond haired guy who gave him a cute wave.

The next week he had fared even better, dancing and drinking his first ever beer, and it felt good to get some positive attention for once. It was the week after that it happened. There he was, drink in hand, surveying the darkened club as always, when a tall, good looking and incredibly confident man strode right up to the bar, next to where Blaine was sitting, and ordered a whiskey and soda.

He downed it quickly, then another, and then he turned to Blaine, looked him up and down, winked and sauntered off to the dance floor. Blaine knew he was staring, but then most of the guys in the room were staring too. The stranger was lithe and graceful, with light brown hair swept high on his head and impeccably styled, pale skin and searching blue eyes. His lips looked like they were made to be kissed by Blaine's own and the way his perfect body moved as he danced had Blaine shifting uncomfortably on his stool.

Prior to that evening, if anyone had asked Blaine what his definition of a perfect boyfriend would be, he would have simply replied "a gay male with a pulse." But now, he knew.

Him.

That was who Blaine wanted to be his boyfriend, and that was who Blaine was going to get.

A good hour passed while Blaine imagined every possible scenario, and planned conversations in his head. Just as he was gathering the courage to walk over to the guy who everyone wanted but didn't want to approach, the guy suddenly approached him. Picking up Blaine's beer and draining it, he set it back on the bar and leaned in close.

"I want you to suck my dick," he whispered directly into Blaine's ear. "Now."

This had been somewhat unexpected for Blaine, who had been having imaginary conversations about asking him out to the movies, and if he had really stopped and thought about it, he would have realized that this was not the type of guy he wanted for a boyfriend at all. Only, he was now painfully aware of everyone watching this interaction, and the stranger himself staring, waiting for a response, so he gave a curt nod, hoped his nervousness wasn't too obvious, and hopped from his stool.

"Let's go."

Nothing else had been said; the man had obviously seen Blaine gather his car keys, and though Blaine was embarrassed by his beat up Oldsmobile, the stranger didn't seem to care, pulling open the back door and sliding along the seat. His jeans were unfastened in record time, and Blaine was still wondering if going commando in jeans wasn't incredibly uncomfortable when a hand was suddenly on the back of his head, pushing him down.

Technically, Blaine thought as he mulled things over, he had tasted another guys cock before he had even seen one. Even now, two weeks on, he couldn't exactly remember what it had looked like in the dark of the car. He had been too overwhelmed with the entire situation to really grasp anything other than the burning in his throat as his mouth stretched around the man and he tried to suppress his gag reflex.

He knows it was terrible, and he knows the guy was obviously less than impressed but even so, he thought the evening might have ended slightly better than it did. He might have been kissed, for a start, but no. It seems as though lack of affection has become a rather unwelcome theme running through the entirety of Blaine's life, and he wishes it wasn't.

"Can I come in?"

Blaine sits, nodding at his mom as she bustles into his room and he tries hard not to let his ever growing distaste for her show on his face. She's only thirty eight, he reminds himself over and over. She shouldn't be expected to spend the rest of her days alone to satisfy Blaine's memories of his happy childhood. She's a pretty woman, with a great personality, he chants in his head. It's only natural that she would meet someone else.

He knows this is partly true. His mom, with her dark hair which swings in a ponytail and green eyes which seem to question him all the time, is petite and bubbly. His dad had been six years older, and if Blaine wanted to know what he was going to look like at any given age all he had to do was find a photo of his dad at the same age to know. He also now knew what he'd look like if he slowly died of cancer too, but he wishes he didn't.

His mom sits on his bed, unsure whether to take his hand but then deciding against it and offering a smile instead.

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay," Blaine murmurs. "Sleepy."

"Do you want anything to eat? I could ask one of the boys to fix you something?"

The idea has merit, Blaine thinks, but he also doesn't trust them enough not to do something terrible to his food, so he just shakes his head.

"Blaine, honey, this will only work if you put the effort in, you know. Try to get along with your brothers."

"They're not my brothers," he says angrily. "They're the sons of the man you married."

"You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about!" Angie cries. "We're a family now, Blaine, and you need to accept that."

"No I don't," he cries desperately. "You need to accept that dad has been gone just six months, and now suddenly here we are, in a new town, living with three guys who take great delight in torturing me and one who would just rather I didn't exist! You can't force me to like this situation, mom, because it sucks! Do you realize how much you've changed recently? Do you?"

"I'm still your mom, Blaine, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped speaking to me like that."

"Fine, I'm sorry," Blaine sighs, running a hand over his face. "Can I ask you a question though?"

Angie brightens, pleased to be having some positive interaction at last. "Sure."

"Did you really meet Spencer after dad died? Or were you two having an affair before he got sick?"

Angie stiffens and swallows uncomfortably. Rising from the bed, she resolutely avoids eye contact with her son as she straightens her blouse. "Blaine, I've just spoken with you about your attitude."

"Yet you won't answer the question," he says, laughing in disbelief.

"Spencer might not be your father, Blaine, but that doesn't mean I won't ask him to reprimand you if you carry on."

"Just answer me then!" Blaine cries angrily, jumping to his feet. "If you have nothing to hide, if you really, honestly didn't meet Spencer before dad died then just say so!"

But all Blaine gets in return is the slamming of his bedroom door, and the sound of his mom's footsteps marching down the stairs.

It takes only a split second for Blaine to decide his course of action. Tugging his bow tie off and his plaid shirt over his head, he pulls on a tight red polo and replaces his khaki shorts with black jeans. Grabbing his wallet and car keys but purposely not his phone, he storms down the stairs and out of the front door, ignoring his mom and Spencer's calls of protest. Climbing in his car, he doesn't stop until he's in Scandals parking lot, where he sits shaking behind the wheel, trying to compose himself.

Eventually, Blaine takes a deep breath and heads toward the bar. Maybe tonight, he will finally find what he's looking for.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I am overwhelmed with the response to the first chapter, so thank you. I forgot to say that updates will be my usual pattern of Friday, Sunday and Wednesday, and I also forgot to warn that there is some bullying in this, which I know can be a trigger for some. It is by no means a focal point of the story though. This story is about love.
> 
> Becky

Burt Hummel pulls open his garage door and steps outside, squinting into the sunlight. Sure enough, the relentless tap-thump-tap rhythm he's been hearing for the last ten minutes is a tennis ball against the side of a house, and he smiles to see the boy from the new family standing across the road repeatedly bouncing the ball against the wall. Blake, maybe? Burt thinks as he heads toward him. Or Blaise?

Blaine, that was it. Blaine.

"Hey there," he calls, and Blaine catches the ball, looking around as if to check it really is him he's talking to.

"Hi."

So quiet, Burt thinks to himself, taking in the sight of the neatly gelled dark hair once more, the light blue button up, with navy shorts and bow tie.

"I haven't seen you around for a couple of weeks. I was starting to think you'd disappeared."

"I've been grounded," Blaine admits shyly. "Still am, technically, but they finally let me out as long as I stay on the driveway."

"Oh?" Burt asks amiably, rocking on the spot with his hands in the pockets of his coveralls. "What'cha grounded for?"

"Leaving the house without permission and staying out until three in the morning," Blaine sighs, taking up the tap-thump-tap rhythm again. "And I didn't take my phone."

Burt shrugs, looking up at the sky rather than at Blaine himself. "Yep. That'll do it. Where in the world did you go until that time of the morning?"

"A bar," Blaine says, ceasing the ball bouncing and turning to look at Burt, who looks completely nonplussed.

"I'm guessing they don't know that," he says with a nod toward the house.

Blaine offers a small smile, pleased to have a confidant. "No sir they do not."

"Hey, you like cars?" Burt asks, and Blaine raises his eyebrows at the sudden turn in conversation.

"I uh...I like airplanes," he says softly, almost apologetic in his tone.

"I wasn't aware it was only possible to like one mode of transportation," Burt jokes gently, making Blaine blush slightly and rub the back of his neck.

"No I uh...yeah, I do like cars. My car isn't really up to much, but I do like them. Yeah."

"I'm working on one in my spare time," Burt explains, nodding toward his garage. "I could use some help, if you wanna escape for a while?"

"Aren't you a mechanic?"

"Sure am," Burt answers with a proud nod. "Why?"

"Well...don't you work on cars all the time anyway?"

"Yeah, but this is different. This isn't someone else's for a start. She's all mine. And it's for pleasure, not work. Wanna meet her?"

Blaine smiles at the way Burt talks, but then his face creases into a frown as he glances toward the house. "I'd like to, but I'm not sure if..."

"It's up to you," Burt says with a light shrug. "But if you want something to do with your time, I'm happy to talk to your folks if you want?"

"You'd do that?" Blaine asks, surprised by this man's kindness.

"Why not? I only work on her all alone otherwise. I could use the company and you could use the timeout, am I right?"

"You're so right," Blaine admits, and with a short, sharp nod, Burt Hummel strides up the porch steps and knocks on the door.

"Hi," he says, greeting Spencer with an ultra firm handshake. "Burt Hummel, remember?"

"I remember," Spencer says, eyeing Blaine with suspicion. "Has the boy been bothering you? He's supposed to be grounded."

"Blaine," Burt reminds him, surprised at how hard he grits his teeth when he talks to this ass. "And actually, I've been bothering him. I was wondering if I could borrow him for a while? I'm working on an old car in my garage and could really use the help."

"Take Simon," Spencer says curtly. "Or Max. Not him. He'll fumble about and end up causing more trouble than it's worth."

"No, I need Blaine," Burt reiterates firmly. "I need someone small to fit underneath," he carries on, making stuff up to keep Spencer satisfied. "Easier than getting her up on blocks or taking her into the shop to use the ramp."

"Oh," Spencer says, the surprise evident in his voice. "Okay then. I guess. I mean, he's grounded, but if he's helping you out then..."

"That's what I figure, and it's work, y'know?" Burt says amiably. "Not fun or anything."

"Yeah sure," Spencer nods, thinking how much good it will do Blaine to get his hands dirty for once.

"Great. I have coveralls he can borrow," Burt says, guiding Blaine from the porch with a firm hand on his back. "He'll be back later."

"Thank you," Blaine whispers gratefully as they walk across the road. "I'll work hard for you, sir. I promise. I'll..."

"Oh hush you fool," Burt says with a laugh. "It's not about the work, it's about getting out from under the glare of that idiot. Now," he says, stepping into the garage and tossing a pair of coveralls to Blaine. "Let's go into the house so you can change and I can fix us coffee."

Ten minutes later and Blaine is standing in Burt's garage, trying to ignore the catcalls from his ridiculous step brothers as he tugs on his coveralls uncomfortably. "You want me to pull that door down?" Burt asks, but Blaine shakes his head.

"They'll go, eventually. They get bored if you just ignore them. I've figured that out these last few weeks."

"Okay. Well just shout if you change your mind. So. Blaine," Burt says proudly as he tugs an enormous tarpaulin back from the car, "Meet Bessie. Bessie, meet Blaine."

Blaine stares, and stares some more. "What the hell is that?" he asks, staring at an old, battered, beat up shell of a car.

"Shh! She'll hear you," Burt huffs indignantly. "Anyway. It's not what she is now, Blaine. It's what she will become. She's a nineteen forty nine Buick Roadmaster Convertible, and she will eventually look like that picture up there."

Blaine looks up at the picture of a sleek classic car, cherry red with cream leather seats. It's truly stunning, the type of car that would turn everyone's heads, and then he looks back at the vision before him. Bessie has half a windshield, the rest of the empty frame is bent and twisted. She has no back seat entirely, and the two front ones are ripped and torn. Her paintwork is stripped and she has dents and scratches all over, including a massive hole right through one side. The tires are all flat too, Blaine notices, but in the grand scheme of things that's really the least of Bessie's problems.

"No wonder you needed help."

"Hey! We none of us are the finished article, right?" Burt asks as he pulls up the hood with an almighty creek. "We all need tlc, someone to fix us and put us on the road again, to love and cherish us, huh?"

Blaine laughs and shakes his head in disbelief. "Yeah, I guess so."

"So let's get to work, and if you're lucky, when she's done, I'll let you take her out for a spin."

"For my fortieth birthday?" Blaine asks, and Burt laughs loudly.

"Something like that. Okay, so today, we're refitting those," he says, pointing to the work bench. "Spark plugs."

"If that's what you say they are."

"They are. And while we're doing that, you're gonna tell me why your sixteen year old self thinks you'll find the answers to life in an Ohio bar."

"I was looking for someone," Blaine says quietly, looking down at the spark plugs in his hands. "A guy."

Burt rummages around in the hood, twisting and turning things which Blaine doesn't know the names of, then reaches past him to grab a tool from the bench. "I see. Did you find him?"

Blaine sighs, taking back the tool from Burt and offering him a rag for his hands. "No."

"Far be it from me to interfere," Burt says as gently as he can. "But you don't really strike me as the bar type. Or as the type who would want to find a guy there. Maybe you'd be better to wait until you start school. Or join a PFlag group, maybe? Just seems to me that at sixteen, the type of guys you're gonna meet in a bar aren't gonna be the type who are necessarily good for you."

"I really liked him though," Blaine mumbles sadly.

"Did you talk with him? Ask him out?"

"We uh...we haven't really spoken," Blaine admits, blushing when he thinks back to how occupied his mouth was. "I don't... I don't even know his name."

"Well my advice would be forget all about him and move on," Burt tells him honestly as he straightens up to look at Blaine, who is staring at the floor. "But hey, you're a teenager, right? And since when did teenagers take advice? Can you pass me that wrench?"

"You're weird," Blaine says with a laugh as Burt ducks back under the hood.

"I've been called nicer things," comes the muffled reply. "Why d'you say that?"

"I've just told you I sneak out to go to bars, and that I'm gay," Blaine says as he hands over the tool. "And you just carry on like it makes no difference at all."

"It doesn't, does it?" Burt asks, taking the tool and frowning at it. "Wrench, Blaine. That's a spanner. The wrench is on the left."

"Sorry. I don't know the names."

"Now who's weird?" Burt jokes, taking the wrench with a smile. He twists and turns for a moment more in silence, then straightens up and takes a good look at the boy. "You've never told anyone before, have you?"

"No," Blaine admits. "Well...only my dad."

"And what did he say?"

"That he hoped I'd meet a nice guy one day who would love me for who I am."

"That's a real nice thing to wish for you," Burt nods. "Do you see him much?"

"He died."

"Oh. Jesus. I'm sorry," Burt says, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "I didn't realize."

Blaine shrugs, surprised at how little Burt's error bothers him. "S'okay."

"How long?"

"Six months."

"Oh wow. Blaine...I..." Burt breaks off, shaking his head. All he really wants to do is hug the poor kid until he feels better, but he can sense how raw everything is for him right now, and the last thing he wants to do is to force him to confront stuff before he's ready. "I'm real sorry. You must still be grieving."

"Kind of. He had cancer," Blaine explains, swallowing hard over the tears lodged in his throat, making his voice thick. "So for like...a year, I guess, we had to watch him slowly dying. It made it strange, in a way, because the dad I had wasn't the dad I lost six months ago. I lost that one way back when he first got sick. He died at home, which was where he wanted to be, and I was sitting there with him. He looked so peaceful, after, you know? So in a way I was...not happy, but glad he was out of pain. I could see that wherever he had gone, it was so much better than here. I think that's what I'm having the hardest time dealing with, actually. That he's left me here alone. Then I get mad at myself for being so selfish."

So he does want to talk, Burt thinks to himself as he settles back on a stool. He wants to talk, and he wants a friend. Well, he might be a good forty years his senior, but Burt Hummel can manage that. "You're not selfish. I lost my wife too, many years ago. I remember feeling the exact same way. I was actually quite angry at her for a time."

"I'm sorry," Blaine says sadly. "That must have been tough."

"Yeah. You say "we" had to watch him die...you have brothers or sisters?"

"No, mom and I, we had to watch him die. I'm an only child, despite them trying to force three unwanted step brothers on me."

"So when did they come on the scene?"

Blaine sighs, wondering if he should admit his fears to Burt, and then deciding he has no one else to talk to anyway, so he might as well. "The story goes that mom met Spencer at the grocery store a month after dad passed. What I think, is that they were having an affair since before dad got sick. I'm sure she was planning on leaving us. I remember thinking it at the time, you know? But then dad got the call and I kinda forgot all about it for a few months. Then the nagging doubt came back, but we knew dad was terminal, so I'm guessing she stayed because she knew it wouldn't be too long. Let's face it, leaving your dying husband and fifteen year old son is a low blow, even for her. It worked out for the best for her, I think. Except she had to keep me. That part I don't think she was thrilled about."

"You know Blaine, I try not to judge anyone before I know them," Burt tells him. "But I gotta say, if what you're telling me is true, and I've no reason to think otherwise, then yeah, that's the lowest of the low. You were close to your dad, huh?"

"Very," Blaine says proudly. "You would have liked him. He was different to you, but like you too, in a lot of ways. He didn't judge anyone either, and he laughed a lot. He liked football, so we used to go to games together and also make model airplanes. I didn't.. I don't... I kinda struggle to make friends," he admits. "I'm quite a nerd, I guess, like I really love science and tech stuff, plus I'm shy so... Yeah. I did have friends," he carries on quickly. "I was in the science clubs at school and we did competitions and stuff, inventing things. I also had this friend called Zach who wasn't into science at all, but we had been friends since third grade. We did a lot of stuff together, like bike rides or playing on the playstation. I didn't tell any of them that I was gay though, which maybe says something about the depth of our friendship, I don't know. I wasn't sure how they'd react. Same with my mom, and now I really don't want to tell her, because of those jerks," he says with a terse nod to where the three boys play basketball across the road.

"Usually I'd tell you to be honest and be yourself, but yeah. I wouldn't. Not yet, anyhow," Burt adds, rising from his stool to start fitting the spark plugs. "Give yourself time to adjust, get settled in school. You'll make some more friends I'm sure, and you might feel more comfortable then, or maybe you'll want to wait until you meet someone, I don't know. The important thing is that you know that even if you're not out, being gay is nothing to be ashamed of, okay?"

"I don't think I am ashamed," Blaine says slowly as he thinks it over. "I'm certainly okay with it, and I'd tell people if I felt comfortable with them. I told you. It's more...not wanting to put myself out there for yet more ridicule, because I don't think they'd be all that understanding, do you?"

"Uh, no," Burt says with a smile. "I think they'd be the type of idiots who would spend their whole time calling you a faggot or a queer, to be honest. You can do without all of that."

"You didn't remarry then?" Blaine asks suddenly, and Burt shakes his head.

"Nah. I'm too set in my ways, probably. When Lizzy died our son was only seven, so I kinda put all my energies into raising him, then when he was older I just didn't fancy the idea of sharing our lives with someone else, really. I've dated and stuff, but never anything too heavy. It suits me."

"You have a son?"

"I do," Burt nods. "He's older though. Twenty seven. Lives in New York."

"Oh. Are you close?"

Burt stops, and the brief look of hurt that crosses his features is so painful it leaves Blaine stunned, but it's quickly replaced by a brief shrug as he avoids Blaine's eyes and gestures for him to pass the other spark plugs. "Maybe not as close as we were, but we're very different."

"Like how?"

"Well, he likes fashion, I like football."

"Is that all?"

"Other stuff too," Burt says briskly, and Blaine senses to leave it there.

"What does he do?"

"He's a writer for Vogue," Burt says proudly.

"Really? Wow! That's like...amazing," Blaine says with a laugh.

"Yep. The online thingy, you know? Vogue dot com or something? Take a look sometime. Kurt Hummel."

"That's his name?"

Burt rolls his eyes, gesturing for Blaine to come look under the hood. "No Blaine, I told you someone else's name for the hell of it. Yes that's his name. Now. See here?"

"Yeah."

"These are the pistons. If you like science and stuff you should check out how an engine works sometime. It's fascinating. Anyway. They need changing, so that's what we're gonna do now."

"You were telling me about your son."

"I finished. Now. We gotta get Bessie up on some blocks for this, and then you're gonna slide under and do it for me, cause I'm old and you're not."

"Does he visit you?"

"Sometimes. Pay attention now, because you really don't want to drop the car on your foot."

Blaine knows when he's beat, so he nods and does as he's been told. The next hour passes easily though; certainly Blaine's worry that he had upset his new found friend was unfounded if Burt's easy manner is anything to go by, and Blaine relaxes and enjoys "getting to know Bessie inside and out," as Burt puts it.

"You've done a real good job there," Burt says once Blaine's out from underneath. He claps him on the back as he hands him the rag, and nods toward the house. "Let's take a break, huh? You hungry?"

"Yeah," Blaine admits. "I didn't realize the time."

"Come on, I'll fix lunch."

* * *

"That's the most enormous sandwich I've ever seen," Blaine remarks when, all cleaned up, he finds Burt in the kitchen of his cosy home.

"Yep," Burt smiles. "Trust me, it'll fill the spot. Here." Burt pushes the sandwich across the table, a triple decker which Blaine can see is stuffed with ham, cheese, turkey and salad, and sets a glass of milk on the table.

Blaine sits down and Burt smiles to himself at the incredibly neat way in which he tucks his chair, smoothes his shirt and then looks around. "Uh...could I please have a knife and fork?"

Burt leans against the counter and raises an eyebrow. "For a sandwich?"

"It's uh...it's quite big, and I don't want to make a mess."

Burt shakes his head, and laughing, hands the cutlery to Blaine. "Napkin?" he asks jokingly.

"Yes please."

"Oh. Well... I don't actually...here," he says, handing Blaine a piece of paper towel.

"Thank you."

They eat in silence, and Burt is finished long before Blaine who cuts his sandwich neatly and chews with his mouth closed, dabbing the corner of his mouth everytime he takes a sip of his milk.

"Kurt changed," Burt says into the silence, and Blaine looks up.

"Pardon?"

"My son," he clarifies. "I don't even know how or when it happened, if I'm honest. Lizzy passed and I thought it would all be downhill from there, but it wasn't. He had been close with his mom, you see. It was a little weird, getting to know this little boy whom I loved but didn't really understand, but when we clicked, we really clicked, if you know what I mean. I had to make an effort; it wasn't easy to attend six royal tea parties in a week, or to try and understand crochet, but we got there. Kurt had endless patience too. He tried to show an interest in football, and I think he thought it would please me to see him climb the tree out back, but in reality he only got a few feet off the ground before he cried for me to come get him down. Eventually we kinda found this way that worked for us both. I can name most of the big fashion houses now, and spot a designer item a million miles off, and Kurt can fix cars with the best of 'em."

"Is he.." Blaine pauses, clearing his throat. "Can I ask, is he gay?"

"Yes," Burt nods. "I had kinda sensed that, but he told me himself when he was fifteen. Again, it was one of those things I thought would be difficult, you know? But it wasn't at all. I did my research, made sure the big talk was relevant to him and stuff, and Kurt...he talked with me, back then. Any worries, any concerns, any bits of news at all really, he'd share it all with me. Sometimes too much," Burt says, breaking off with a laugh. "He was my best buddy, my main man. Even when he went to college, so I can't pin the change on that."

"So what happened?"

"He had a few relationships in college," Burt says, recalling the unease he had felt when Kurt had first told him he spent the night with someone. "And then he met this guy... He was much older. A history professor in his forties. Kurt was twenty two and in his final year of college. I can't say I was happy with the whole thing, but I went with it, you know, because Kurt was happy. Until I found out this guy was married, with four kids, and Kurt was nothing more than a plaything to him."

"Wow."

"Yeah. So I told him to end it, but he didn't listen. I told him he would get hurt, not to mention this man's family. I begged and I pleaded, but it all fell on deaf ears. Kurt denies this, but I honestly think he thought the guy would leave his wife for him. He didn't, of course. Once Kurt graduated and there was a new influx of freshmen, he dropped him almost right away."

"And that made him withdraw?"

"A little, maybe," Burt concedes. "But as I said, gradually he began to change. He is, I'm sure of it, very promiscuous, and that's just not how I raised him to be. He's also rude, cold, selfish...all the things I never thought I'd ever say about my own son. I love him, and I'm proud of his career successes, but if he wasn't my own flesh and blood, Kurt wouldn't be someone I liked very much, and saying that pains me more than you will ever know."

"I am so sorry," Blaine whispers, feeling incredibly close to tears.

"He came home a month or so ago, and I thought maybe things were better. Certainly the first night he was here it was just father and son sharing a few beers and eating pizza. It was fun. We spent all the next day with Bessie, and he was teasing me about it being an impossible dream. Then that night he went out, and the next day cold Kurt was back."

"Don't give up on him," Blaine says fervently, and taking Burt completely off guard, he reaches across the table and squeezes his hand. "Please. He's so lucky to have a dad like you, and I know that one day he'll realize that again so please, don't ever give up on him."

Burt sighs, patting Blaine's hand before standing and gathering the plates. "I won't. I can promise you that. You know you said your dad wished that you'd find someone to love you? Well that's what I wish for Kurt too, that one day, somehow, someone will love him enough to find the real Kurt that's still hiding somewhere underneath that tough exterior, because that's when I'll get my boy back."

"Let's hope that's sooner rather than later," Blaine says with a faltering smile.

"Yeah," Burt agrees. "Let's. Now come on, Bessie needs a new oil pump."


	3. Chapter 3

Santana Lopez strides across the narrow hallway and pushes open the door to Kurt Hummel's apartment. She checks the fridge first, happy to find a yogurt which she grabs along with a spoon from the drawer before heading to Kurt's bedroom to wake him up.

Except Kurt doesn't need waking up, because Kurt is dressed with a small suitcase open on his bed which he haphazardly throws clothes into. He turns to look at her, rolling his eyes at the sight of her lounging in the doorway eating his yogurt, but then he returns to his packing, hurling toiletries in his case. 

"What have you done this time?" 

"Nothing. I'm going home for a few days, that's all," he snaps, holding up a shirt and pants combo.

"Nice," Santana says in reference to the clothes. "If you're planning on getting laid in Lima." 

"I am," Kurt tells her. "Because getting laid is fun."

Santana sweeps her long dark hair back and settles on the bed next to his case. "It is," she agrees. "Apart from the hollow, empty feeling you get when you have to sneak out before dawn. Why the rush to go home?" 

"No reason." 

"Don't give me that bullshit," Santana scoffs, her dark brown eyes flashing with annoyance. "We have a shift starting at ten, and you're suddenly bailing." 

"I've called in sick," Kurt tells her. "If you could cover for me. Tell them you checked this morning and I have a fever." 

"Is this Jeremy?" 

Kurt pauses, stunned yet again by her lightning quick accuracy, but he avoids eye contact and zips his case closed. "No. Not exactly." 

"Not exactly?" she screeches, following him out into the small living room. "What does that mean?"

Kurt stops in the middle of the room, sliding his feet into his boots and running a hand through his hair. "It's his son." 

"His son? His.... Oh Kurt you did not!"

"I did," he sighs. "I was really wasted and..." 

"He's gotta be a minor!"

"He's twenty one," he frowns. "Nowhere near a minor." 

"Does he know who you are?" 

"No." Kurt shakes his head firmly and sets about gathering his phone and wallet. "I don't even think he knows his dad ever had an affair with anyone, which is why I'm running, cause if he mentions to his dad that he's met someone and...oh shit, I think I told him my name. What if I told him my name?" 

"You don't tell people your name?" Santana asks, incredulous. "You are the worlds biggest man whore, Hummel. Jeez. You know what? You deserve to be found out." 

"It's a fucking mess," Kurt moans, though Santana notices he doesn't deny any of her accusations. "I think he really liked me. He was all "when can I see you again?" And "here's my number, call me." Ugh." 

"So you said thanks sweetie, but I only slept with you to fuck with your dad's head the way he fucks with mine?"

"Fuck off." 

"Go home," Santana snaps angrily. "If anyone comes looking I'll say you moved out ages ago, but on one condition," she says, holding up a finger to silence his thanks. "You sort yourself out, Kurt. I mean it! I'm a bitch but holy shit I have nothing on you. Get a grip, man. You were never like this when we first met. Sure, you were hurting, and I get that Jeremy fucked with your feelings, and dropping you the day after graduation was a shit move, but really, that was years ago. You've gotta get over him." 

Kurt pauses. He could tell her. He could stand here right now and tell her every detail of what's gone on since, and no it's not just getting dumped by the professor that has ruined him, but he can't. He won't. He has a flight to catch for a start, so he nods, picks up his small case and kisses her cheek. "I'll sort it out, I promise. I'll be back in a few days." 

*

Blaine Anderson lives for his weekends in Burt's garage. He hates Monday to Friday, when Burt, his mom and Spencer are all at work and he's at the mercy of Simon, Max and James, who just seem intent on making all his waking moments a living hell. He can handle the shoving and the kicking, and the sly punches. He can handle the salt in his coffee, the hiding of his toiletries which has now prompted him to keep them hidden in his room and he can handle the fact that they hide all the best food so Blaine never gets any. What he can't handle is the mental torment. 

The continuous barrage of comments about how useless he is, how short, how dumb, how pathetic, how weak. They have seized on each and every one of Blaine's insecurities and now use them against him all day, every day. He had taken to getting in his car and driving for hours, until Spencer told his mom she couldn't give him anymore gas money, so now he had got himself a job in the kitchen of the local diner. It wasn't great, and the pay was awful, but it got him out of the house for a few hours three times a week, and he could stay out back at the diner and not have to converse with any customers, which suited him as he washed up and counted down the hours to nine o'clock Saturday morning. 

This particular Saturday morning Blaine wakes at seven thirty, cold, shivering...and wet. Pulling back the covers, he stares in horror at his soaking pajama pants and mattress, and placing a panicked hand over his groin, tries to figure out why he has wet the bed. "What the....?" he mumbles as he jumps up and quickly gathers his things for a shower. It's only when he peels off his soaked pants that he stops to think. Raising them to his face, he takes a tentative sniff. Sure enough, there's no smell. He sniffs the bed too, nothing. It's water. That's all. Water. 

Angrily pulling on some track pants, Blaine stumbles out into the hall. "Alright!" he yells. "Who did it, huh? Who came in and poured water over my bed? Which one of you dicks thought that would be funny? Huh? Come on, Spencer's always telling me to be a man, so why don't you get out here and own up to it?" 

Spencer is first out into the hallway, hotly followed by Angie, both clearly annoyed at being woken up by the yelling. "What the hell, Blaine?" Spencer growls. "Shut the hell up and go back to bed." 

"I can't go back to bed because one of your jackass sons has poured water all over it!" Blaine screams before turning to his mom. "I need a lock on my door, mom, please! I can't go on like this. It's really not fair." 

"Blaine, honey, the boys are all still asleep," Angie smiles. "Bless them. Are you sure you didn't..." 

"Wet the bed? Yeah mom, I'm sure," he says, his voice breaking in desperation. "They're not asleep, anyway. At some point they've snuck in my room and poured water over me. Take a look." 

Angie goes into the room, frowning at the sight of the wet sheets. "You'll have to change all that." 

"I know that!" Blaine cries, "but I've only just woken up! That's not the point though, the point is I need to have a lock! I can't keep anything in here unless I hide it, I can't have any privacy...it's...it's not fair!" he moans, aware of sounding petulant but really not caring. "They all have locks." 

"They're teenage boys," Spencer laughs. "They need their privacy, Blaine. Would you really want to know what goes on in their rooms? They're probably sitting in front of porn the whole time." 

"I'm a teenage boy too!" 

"Yeah, but you're Blaine, aren't you?" Spencer laughs. "I can't see you jacking off to big and busty." 

Blaine reddens, his hands balling into fists at his side. "It's not about porn," he snarls through gritted teeth. "It's about wanting to have my own space and not having to wake up in a wet bed." 

"Sweetie, I really don't think the boys would have done this to you," Angie says in an attempt to soothe him. "I think you were just very soundly asleep and..." 

"We would never have done that." 

Blaine turns to find Simon, the eldest brother, leaning against the door frame, a benign smile on his face. "We wouldn't be that cruel," he carries on, his gaze flicking to Blaine briefly. "I'm sorry you wet the bed, Blaine, but please don't try and pin it on us." 

"I'm pinning it on you because you did it!" Blaine screams, completely out of control. "Fucking smell it!" Picking up his discarded pajamas, he hurls them at Simon, who sidesteps them neatly. "There's no smell, you jerk! There's no smell because it's water!" 

"Blaine!" Spencer pins him against the wall quickly, his face close to his as he snarls in anger. "Don't you ever do something so disgusting again, you hear? Just because you're a nancy boy who still wets the bed, doesn't give you the right to try and blame someone else and then make them smell a face full of your piss, you disgusting shit. Now clear this up and let the rest of us go back to bed, or you'll be grounded again and that'll be the end of your job, and the end of you going across the road to visit that weird fella too." 

Spencer storms from the room, taking Simon with him, and Blaine looks to his mom, pleading with his eyes for her to do something, say something, but all she does is poke the pajama pants with her toe, sliding them across the floor. "You can wash all that yourself, please. You should have stopped bed wetting at five, Blaine. I'm very disappointed in you." 

*

Burt Hummel pulls open the door, a half eaten piece of toast in his hand to see Blaine, his face blotchy from crying and his hair a mass of wild curls, standing there, shaking from head to toe. 

"I know I'm early," he says in a voice which trembles with emotion. "But could I come in, please? I won't get in your way or anything, I promise. I just...I just really had to get out the house and..." 

"Sure," Burt nods, stepping aside for him to come into the hall. "Blaine? You wanna hug?"

"I can't," he whispers sadly. "I've only just stopped crying and..." 

"Okay," Burt shrugs lightly. "Let's have breakfast then. C'mon. We've got all day. Talk when you're ready."

Grateful for Burt's understanding, Blaine allows himself to be led down the hallway where Burt stops just before the kitchen. "By the way," he whispers, "my son's home. He arrived yesterday, completely out of the blue." 

"Oh." Blaine's eyes fly wide as he panics. "I should...."

"No," Burt stops him, grabbing his arm and pulling him back. "You shouldn't. And you look fine," he adds as Blaine tries to smooth his hair. "He won't be with us anyway, he says he has stuff to do. Come on, I'll introduce you." 

Without any further warning, Burt strides into the kitchen, addressing a man who has his head down, reading. "Kurt, this is Blaine Anderson. Blaine, meet my son, Kurt." 

Kurt looks up, completely unprepared for the sight of Blaine, whom he instantly recognizes as the young boy he picked up last time he was home. All the color drains from both their faces as Blaine blinks and blinks again, then stares, not knowing what the hell to do or say. 

Burt looks between the pair in confusion, waiting for someone to say something, then he realizes it's down to him. "Do you two know each other?" 

The silence continues though as Kurt bites his lip and wonders how the hell all the gods of fate decided to conspire against him in the space of forty eight hours. There's also a part of him that is simply stunned by the boy's beauty, even though he's obviously upset about something, and he thinks back over what his dad had told him yesterday, about how fragile he was. Damn. 

Blaine backs away slowly until he feels the solid wood of the doorframe in his back. "Excuse me, I uh..." he whispers, then runs, slamming the front door shut behind him. 

"What the hell was that about?" Burt asks, completely bewildered. "Kurt?" 

"No idea," Kurt says as lightly as he can. "So. I'm gonna head out and...." 

"Sit down," Burt says,his voice low and heavy with warning. 

"I'm going out." 

"You slept with him, didn't you?"

"Dad!" Kurt laughs. "Please. He's a kid. I have no idea where..." 

"Answer me!" Burt yells, slamming his hands down on the table. "The last time you were here, did you pick him up? Because he's been searching for some guy for the last six weeks or so, and that very conveniently ties in with when you were last here." 

"I didn't sleep with him," Kurt whispers. "I didn't even kiss him." 

"What did you do to him then? Cause something happened, I'm sure of it." 

"He...he did something for me," Kurt says quietly, and Burt needs no further explanation. 

"You jerk!" Burt yells. "Jesus Christ, Kurt! He's sixteen years old and desperate to be loved! Do you have any idea how broken he is? I told you yesterday about all he gets put through at home! I lie awake at night worrying about the kid and now I find out you've picked him up just for your own gratification? Your behavior disgusts me, you know that?"

"I didn't know that at the time!" Kurt yells back. "How could I? He was hot, he had a pretty mouth and that's all I was really concerned about!" 

"And that is exactly the problem!" Burt roars. "Don't you see that? Don't you see what sort of person you are?"

"What?" Kurt screams, pushing his chair back from the table to confront his dad. "Huh? What type of person am I, dad? Say it!"

"You're...you're..." But Burt breaks off, not wanting to hurt what little feeling Kurt might have left. What would he say, anyway? You're not the boy I raised? Of course he's not, he's an adult. Not someone I like very much? Possibly, though when they're home alone together just having an easy discussion about Burt's day, or what's on TV, Burt likes his son perfectly well. A whore? That would be the most accurate description, Burt thinks to himself, but he could never in a million years bring himself to say that to his own son. 

He's saved by the ring of the doorbell, and Kurt storms past him on his way up the stairs as Burt pulls the door open. Blaine stands there, much to everyone's surprise, and Kurt pauses halfway up the stairs to look at him. Quite the transformation has taken place from the wild, distraught Blaine that had teared in then rushed out not ten minutes ago. Dressed in a pair of navy coveralls, Kurt smiles at the cute way in which they're rolled back at the sleeves and the leg cuffs are rolled too. Underneath he can see the collar of a bottle green polo shirt and a purple bow tie at his neck. His hair is gelled down tightly to his head, not daring to break free from its constraints. Much like Blaine himself, Kurt thinks. 

"I'm very sorry for leaving so quickly," Blaine tells Burt politely. "I um....I remembered something I had to do. Anyway, I'm ready to start when you are. I'll wait by the garage." Spinning on his heel, Blaine walks away before Burt has a chance to respond, and Kurt carries on up the stairs wondering why hearing Blaine's voice makes his insides do a funny flip and he vows to go out and get laid tonight in an attempt to get the boy out of his head. 

Burt and Blaine's morning passes in the most formal manner. They talk, and it's not awkward, but the talk is all about the car, or the football news. All Burt can do is wait patiently, but Blaine is not forthcoming. Eventually, when they're settled for their usual giant sandwiches at Burt's kitchen table and there's no sign of Kurt anywhere, Burt sits back in his chair and folds his arms. 

"I told him what I thought," he says, watching Blaine as he eats. 

Blaine stops, holding his head in his hands. Full of shame, his voice is no more than a whisper. "I'm so sorry." 

"Oh you have nothing to be sorry for," Burt says firmly. 

"I've let you down."

"Says who? Of course you haven't. For a start I didn't even know you, and you didn't know who Kurt was. No, don't worry about that Blaine, really. I'm just angry that Kurt took advantage of you like that." 

"He didn't though, not really," Blaine protests weakly. "I mean, maybe he used me, but I was willing to be used, you know? He didn't force me to do anything I didn't want to do." 

"I should hope not," Burt snaps, letting his anger show. "Even so Blaine...he should have known better. You were in a bar, but any fool can see you're not twenty one. I'm guessing that was...you've never done anything like that before?" 

"I've never done anything," Blaine whispers. 

"Oh Blaine," Burt sighs, running a hand wearily over his bald head. "How could you? With someone like him? You're worth so much more, Blaine. So much more." 

"That's your son!" 

"I know," Burt says, holding his hands up. "I won't pretend it's easy to say that stuff about him, but you have to know that you matter, Blaine, and one day you will matter a great deal to somebody, but that person will never be someone like Kurt. I meant what I said that first time you came here. The type of person who's gonna pick you up in a bar is not the type of person who will give you all the things you deserve, or that you're dreaming of. You're a kid, Blaine, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. You should be...I don't know, going to get a milkshake with a guy, watching a movie. Not getting up to god knows what in a parking lot at one in the morning." 

Blaine nods meekly. He knows Burt has a point. "I haven't been there since that time I was grounded anyway." 

"Good. Look, chalk it up to a lesson learned and move on. I keep telling ya, you're starting a new school in a few weeks. You'll make new friends and have better ways to spend your time." 

"Oh, I don't know if I really will," Blaine says quietly. "I think Max will ruin whatever chance of friendship I get. He'll probably tell the entire school I wet the bed or something." 

"Yeah, about him. Or them. What happened this morning?" 

Burt is shocked at the way Blaine's eyes instantly fill with tears and he fiddles with the edge of his plate, ducking his head. He realizes how desperately Blaine must've needed to talk to Burt this morning, and then he walked in and got a face full of Kurt. 

"I really picked the wrong morning to introduce you to my boy, didn't I?" he asks, and Blaine shakes his head. 

"Not your fault. It's just...uh...hmm." He breaks off, digging his fingers into the corners of his eyes in an effort to ward off the impending tears but actually, he couldn't stop them if he tried, and he ends up recounting the confrontation of the morning while Burt listens on in horror.

"...And the worst part of it all," he says quietly as his tears subside and Burt strains to hear. "Is that initially, I thought oh my god, my mom thinks I still wet my bed. But then I realized, she doesn't does she?" 

Burt shakes his head sadly as Blaine carries on. "She knows they did it. She knows and she won't defend me, or can't be bothered...I don't know which, but it hurts." 

Burt sits a moment, trying to decide what to do. "They're out, aren't they?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah. Yeah they're at some rally or other." 

"Come with me." 

Burt heads toward the front door, picking up his toolbox on the way. Striding across the road to Blaine's house, he waits for him to scurry along and catch up to him, fumbling to unlock the door. "Where's your room?" he asks, and Blaine points meekly up the stairs, wondering why Burt wants to know. 

"Third door on the left." 

He's up there quickly, noticing how neat and tidy it all is. Hardly a typical teenagers bedroom. The lock is fitted fast, a deadbolt that fills Blaine with an immense amount of gratitude, though Burt still isn't happy. "It gives you privacy from the inside, at least," he grumbles as he packs his tools away. "I can't really fit a two way lock without taking the door off. Still. They can't get to you when you're sleeping." 

"Thank you," Blaine says, feeling somewhat akin to happy. "Really. Just thank you so much." 

"No worries, and if your mom notices, or anyone else, and they have an issue with it, tell them to come see me. Now come here and give me a hug." 

Blaine shakes his head, folding his arms over himself and taking a step backward. "I can't," he mumbles. "No one's hugged me since...since my dad, actually. I'll lose it. I'll just lose it and I don't want to." 

"Tough. I'm a hugger," Burt announces, "and if you wanna cry...well, I'm not ever gonna tell." 

He is stiff and unyielding in Burt's arms, but Burt clings on and when the first broken sob comes, he just holds him that little bit tighter, letting him know that it's okay, that someone, somewhere cares.


	4. Chapter 4

"Looks like Kurt's back," Burt remarks as a decidedly happier and lighter Blaine walks with him to the garage. 

"Why don't you ask him to come join us?" 

Burt stops in the middle of the road, one eyebrow raised, and Blaine laughs out loud. "I'm serious. It doesn't bother me. You're right about him not being my type, but you shouldn't freeze him out for what happened."

"But he..."

"Is your son, and I'd give anything to have my dad back again," Blaine says pointedly. "I told you, don't give up on him. You're a good person, Burt. He's not gonna come to you, is he? So you have to go to him." 

"He's a stubborn ass," Burt grumbles as he pulls up the garage door. 

"He's not the only one." 

"What?" 

But when Burt turns around in shock, Blaine is gone and all Burt hears is the front door slam. 

"Kurt?" 

Kurt scrambles up from his bed, shoving his phone back in his pocket before he rushes to the top of the stairs. "What?" he barks. "Is dad okay?"

"Uh...." 

Blaine is inwardly cursing himself, knowing he should speak, but he's caught in Kurt's steady gaze and he's really rendered completely speechless by the sight of him in black jeans and a white tank, his hair mussed from where he's obviously been lying down. 

"My dad?" Kurt repeats. "Is he okay?" 

"He's uh...."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" 

"Fine," Blaine snaps, the disparaging comment snapping him back to reality. "He's fine. I just wondered if you wanted to come and join us, that's all. I um...I know your dad would like it." 

"You're not gonna get to suck my dick again," Kurt states bluntly, and Blaine turns a brilliant shade of crimson. 

"How about you stop being a dick and come spend some time with your dad?" Blaine snarks, and surprised at the spark of anger, Kurt takes a step backward. 

"Fuck off. No one tells me what to do." 

"The epitome of charm," Blaine calls back as he walks toward the door. "No wonder you're single." 

"Well?" Burt asks when Blaine reappears.

"He'll be down in five minutes," Blaine says confidently, though inside he's panicking, wondering how to explain Kurt's absence. 

It takes ten minutes, not five, but Kurt does appear, dressed in his own red coverall with his name on, and the moment he does Blaine notices how Burt starts whistling, and he knows he's really pleased. 

"What needs doing then?" Kurt asks, sounding bored, but Blaine watches as his eyes rake over the car and he senses he's secretly impressed at the progress that's been made.

"I wanna get this dent out of her hood," Burt tells him as he runs his hands over it. "I reckon we can do it. If not I'll have to drive to the next auction in Tennessee and I really don't want to have to do that."

"You won't get that out," Kurt remarks as he examines the dent. "Look at the way the grooves run down the hood. If you try to hammer that out you're gonna disrupt their lines." 

"If he says he can, he can," Blaine interrupts. 

"Who asked you?" Kurt retorts with a scoff. "Are you an expert on cars?"

"No, but neither are you." 

"I know a damn sight more than you do, sunshine." 

"Boys! Holy crap. Give it a rest," Burt cries in despair. "If all you're gonna do is fight then I'll work alone. Kurt; you might well be right, that's been my worry too, but I'd like to give it a go. The next auction isn't for two weeks, and it's on a Friday which is my busiest day. I can't really afford to take the time out, and there's no guarantee they'll have the right hood anyway." 

Blaine nods and mumbles an apology, and the three set to work in silence. The work is painstakingly slow and requires watching from all angles. Two or three times when Blaine looks up it is to find Kurt watching him, but then he only looked up to watch Kurt anyway, so he can't really complain. There's a weird kind of jolt though, when they make eye contact, and Blaine looks away first, blushing and with a small smile on his face. 

"Ugh. Right, I'm taking a break," Burt announces suddenly. "My eyes are giving up on me. I'll run inside and fix us all a snack. Kurt, can you look her over and let me know what you think please?" 

"Sure," Kurt nods, and crouches down so his eyes are level with the hood.

"I reckon he's doing well," Blaine says into the silence that Burt leaves behind. "He's got a good eye." 

"Yeah, I think he'll manage it actually," Kurt concedes. "It's just the rest of that side that'll prove tricky. He's done well though, considering he's a mechanic and not a body shop expert." 

"Doesn't his garage do it all?"

"Yeah, but he has a guy who works for him, John. He does all that."

Blaine frowns in confusion. "So why doesn't he ask John to come do it then?" 

Kurt straightens up, stretching his arms above his head. "Because you're not the only one who needs a friend." 

"I have friends."

"No you don't. And neither does he, really. I think he gets quite lonely. He's certainly a lot happier since you've been coming over on weekends." 

"I don't get what you mean." 

"I mean, dipshit, that he's not gonna ask someone to come fix the dent quickly because then that means he gets less time to work on the car with you." 

"Don't call me that!" Blaine cries. "Think what you want about me, but quit calling me names. I've done nothing to you, and I'm sorry that my existence seems to offend so many people, but I have enough of the name calling at home, so please, just stop." 

Blaine sits down heavily on the workbench and Kurt watches as he sulks, his bottom lip jutting out slightly as his breath comes shaky and hard. For just a brief second, Kurt wonders what he'd be like when he had an orgasm, but then he quickly shoves that thought to the back of his mind and takes a step closer to him. 

"I'm sorry." 

Blaine shrugs but keeps looking out the open garage door rather than at Kurt himself. "S'okay." 

"No it's not. I'm a jerk. And I'm not just sorry for the name calling either. I'm sorry for that night. I shouldn't have..." 

"Just...can we agree to forget about it please?" Blaine says through gritted teeth. "I'd really rather pretend it didn't happen." 

Kurt laughs softly. "Was it that bad?"

"Yes it was." 

"Oh." 

"You called me a little boy," he reminds him. "Said you only wanted me for my mouth." 

"Blaine, I didn't..." he breaks off, and they're both struck by hearing Kurt say his name for the first time. "I was being a jerk." 

"Sounds like you're a jerk a lot of the time." 

“I...Well, maybe I am,” Kurt shrugs. “Still, I apologize.” 

“Accepted,” Blaine says briskly. 

“Have you been back?”

“To the bar?” Blaine asks, and Kurt nods. “A few times.”

“Oh. I thought maybe it was a one off for you.” Kurt finds himself surprised, not only at Blaine’s admission but also by the unmistakable feeling of jealousy in the pit of his stomach, even worse than the feeling he got that time he bumped into Jeremy and his wife at the theatre.

“I haven’t been for a while, not since your dad asked me not to.”

“Would you go tonight? If I asked you to?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because the reasons I went there in the first place were all wrong. You, or any of the guys there won’t give me what I want or need.”

Kurt smiles, making Blaine’s heart race as he steps even closer, his blue eyes burning with desire. “Depends what you want,” he states seductively, but as much as Blaine is tempted to haul him across the road to his empty house, he swallows and hardens his gaze. 

“I want someone who will be my lover as well as my friend. Someone who will pay attention to me and listen to what I have to say. Someone who will laugh with me, let me take them out and lavish time and attention on them and I want someone who will kiss me like they mean it and not just shove their dick down my throat without any thought to what I might want or need in return.” 

Kurt gives a slight tilt of his head and steps backward. “I’m not that person,” he says with what Blaine thinks might be a trace of regret. 

“No you’re not,” Blaine says, but he offers a small smile to soften his words. “But whatever, I’m glad you came back for a visit. Your being here makes your dad really happy, and for that reason, I’d like it if we could get along.” 

“Yeah, I’ll go with that,” Kurt smiles, and laughs when Blaine offers his hand. He shakes it and then a moment falls which neither knows how to break, but Burt does it for them, kicking the house door open wide as he comes in holding a tray. He stops, looking to Kurt and Blaine and back again. 

“Are you hitting on him? You’d better not be.” 

“No I am not!” Kurt cries with a quick glance to Blaine. 

“He’s not,” Blaine confirms. “He knows he’d get turned down.”

“Ha!” Burt sets the tray down and hands around cans of soda and the plate of cookies. “So Kurt, what’s your opinion on that body?”

Kurt keeps his gaze locked on Blaine who blushes but doesn't look away while Burt runs his hands over the now smooth metal of the hood. Licking his lips, he winks. “Stunning.” 

They work for a couple more hours, but the atmosphere is easier, more lighthearted than before. Burt stretches, easing out the kinks in his back before turning to Blaine. “Wanna stay for some pizza?”

“Um,” he gives a worried glance across the road where he can see Spencer’s car has returned. “I’d better not. Thanks though.”

“No worries. You know where I am, okay?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow," Burt calls as he closes the door behind him.

“You don’t have to leave on my account,” Kurt says quietly, but Blaine shakes his head. 

“It’s not that. It’s...no. I just need to get home really.”

“Okay,” Kurt says lightly, wondering why he’s feeling so saddened that a sixteen year old won’t be joining them for dinner. 

“Hey, bed wetter!”

Blaine instantly recoils at the sound of James’ voice booming across the street. “Dad says get your ass in for dinner!”

Blaine nods, and Kurt knows the young boy has seen him, but he’s across the road seconds later flanked by two older guys who Kurt assumes are the other brothers. “Gay boy,” the eldest snarls. “James was talking to you.”

“I said I was on my way,” Blaine whispers, head bowed. 

“No you didn’t. He didn’t,” the younger one whines up at his brother. “Dumb ass Blaine was talking to himself again, probably.”

Kurt is just about to say something when the middle one speaks, taking him off guard. “Have you been working on the car all day?” he asks Blaine with concern. 

Blaine looks equally as puzzled, nodding warily and the other boy sighs. “That’s too bad, Blainey, cause you won’t have been to the store to buy your diapers!” he laughs loudly at his completely unfunny joke then turns to Kurt. “Did you know he wets the bed? He does. He pees himself like a little kid and then tries to make out like we poured water on him.” 

Whatever reaction Max had been expecting, it certainly wasn’t the massive shove from an enraged Kurt which sends him flying onto his ass on the hard concrete. “Get the fuck off my driveway,” he snarls, snatching James by his collar and hauling him onto the sidewalk too. “And you,” he barks at Simon, who takes a step toward Kurt but then thinks better of it when he sees he equals him in height. “Tell your dad that Blaine is staying for dinner, and if there’s any issue I’ll be pleased to discuss it with him. In the meantime I suggest you stay the hell away from me, got it?”

He doesn’t get any response, only three backs as they retreat back across the road as quickly as they came, and he turns back to see Blaine almost cowering against the side of the car. His instinct is to hold him, just as Burt always used to do for him too when things were rough, but he resists, rocking on his heels instead. “You shouldn’t let them talk to you like that.”

"You didn't have to defend me, you know." 

"Well," Kurt shrugs, not really sure how to voice what he's thinking. "You're...they made me angry," he mumbles, and Blaine is surprised to see him blushing. 

"Still, you didn't have to worry about me, so thanks." 

"Anytime." 

"I'd better get going." 

Kurt looks up sharply. "What? What are you talking about? You're staying for dinner. I told them you were."

"I wasn't sure if you meant it." 

"Of course I did," Kurt says briskly, leading the way to the door. "We're only getting pizza though." 

"No that's...that's...fine," Blaine mumbles as he hurries along after him. "That's....yeah. That's just fine." 

"Stop saying it's fine." 

"Sorry. Fine." 

"Blaine!" 

"Right." He stops, blushing hard as he slides past Kurt into the house, unable to resist whispering "fine" as he passes, and the grin on Kurt's face makes it totally worth the risk. 

If Burt is surprised to see Blaine sitting awkwardly in the den when he comes down from the shower, he doesn't say anything. He merely hands the pizza menu to Blaine and tells him to choose, but he slides it onto the coffee table and shakes his head. "I don't... I mean....just whatever you want is..."

"Don't!" Kurt cries, picking up the menu, and then Burt is surprised by the easy laughter between the pair, and also by the way Kurt is smiling, because honestly, he can't remember when he last saw him look that happy. "Do you eat anchovies?" 

"Yes." 

"Good." 

"No!" Burt cries. "Blaine! They're hideous!" 

"And this is exactly why I'm grateful you like them," Kurt says, gesturing to his dad. "Because now I can finally justify ordering a pizza with them on. Okay. I'll dial." 

Blaine relaxes the moment the decision is taken out of his hands, and finds himself enjoying an evening for the first time in months. Conversation is easy and light, talking about football, which Kurt professes to know nothing about but actually knows a great deal, and McKinley, the school Blaine will start in three weeks and which Kurt graduated from. That topic then leads directly on to father and son discussing moments from Kurt's childhood and Blaine doesn't even mind not being able to join in the conversation because it's so much fun to listen and watch Kurt laugh. In fact, Kurt is so mesmerising like this that Blaine is grateful that he knows what Kurt is really like, because otherwise he'd be crushing hard, and he's not. 

Really, he's not. 

It's just that Kurt is an incredibly commanding presence, and amazingly beautiful and smart. 

"Hey," Burt says to Kurt, glancing at the clock and seeing it's gone nine. "I thought you were going out?" 

"Nah, can't really be bothered," Kurt says, glancing across at Blaine. "Um...Blaine? Do you play cards?" 

"I used to play go fish with my dad," Blaine says quietly, secretly thrilled that Kurt is staying put, "but that's about it." 

"Dad? Shall we teach him to play crazy eights?" 

"Oh gosh, Kurt, we haven't played that in years," Burt chuckles, but he rummages in the dresser drawer and produces a well worn pack of cards. "I don't even know if I can remember." 

"Sure you can," Kurt smiles, and that is how Blaine finds himself eventually saying goodbye to them at one in the morning, his sides aching from laughter. 

"I'll walk you over," Kurt tells him.

"There's no need," Blaine laughs. "I can see my house from here." 

"Nope, Kurt's walking you over, no argument," Burt says loudly. "I'll see you tomorrow. Come at nine and we'll have breakfast together before Kurt goes back." 

"You're going back?" Blaine asks as they walk across the dark and silent road together. 

"I have work." 

"Oh yeah. Vogue, right?" 

"Something like that." 

That seems a funny reply to Blaine, but Kurt doesn't choose to elaborate so Blaine doesn't choose to question him further, not wanting to spoil the evening. "Will you be coming back soon?" 

"I might." 

"You should. I think your dad has liked having you here." 

"And you?" 

They stop at the bottom of Blaine's porch steps, neither one wanting to break the eye contact which makes both their pulses race. Blaine doesn't know what in the world to answer with, because he's not sure what Kurt is implying or wants to hear, so he offers a half smile which really makes Kurt's stomach swoop. "It's been okay." 

"Just okay?" 

"Just okay," he repeats softly, and Kurt scuffs the ground with his toe and laughs quietly. 

"Well I really enjoyed today so..." 

"Yeah," Blaine admits. "Same. Goodnight Kurt, I'll see you in the morning." 

"Sure," Kurt nods, walking backwards, almost reluctant to be apart. "Goodnight Blaine," and then he turns and runs into the house before he can kiss him senseless.


	5. Chapter 5

It is three months before Kurt and Blaine meet again. During that time the daily torture for Blaine continues, plus he starts school. It's not too bad, he supposes. Certainly it gives him hours away from any of his step-brothers because even though Max is in his year, they are assigned different home rooms and Blaine is in AP classes while Max is nearing special ed status. The only time he really sees any of them is in the hallway if he's unfortunate, but they don't stop to speak to him at all, just shove him into a row of lockers or trip him up. 

It's directly after one such trip that he makes his first friend, two weeks into the semester. He has just left AP physics when he sees Simon and a large group of senior football players heading his way. He knows he's trapped by a swarm of students behind him so he carries on walking with his head down and hopes he isn't noticed. He is, of course, but he himself doesn't notice Simon slyly sticking his leg out and before he knows it he has face planted on the floor, his books sprawling from his backpack as the football players all laugh and carry on down the hallway high fiving Simon. 

"Here, here, let me help you." Blaine looks up to find a tall Asian guy kneeling on the floor gathering his books. "Are you okay?" 

Blaine recognizes him from his science class, but he doesn't know his name. Even so, he's grateful for the assistance and holds his backpack open for the guy to drop the books in. "I'm good, thanks," Blaine says softly. 

"Are you sure?" He helps Blaine to his feet, frowning at him in concern. "You fell pretty hard." 

"I'm used to it," Blaine admits. "That's one of my step brothers." 

"Yikes. Poor you. I'm Mike, by the way. Mike Chang." 

"Blaine Anderson," he replies, shaking Mike's hand. 

"Nice to meet you," Mike smiles. "Hey, you got any plans for lunch?" 

Blaine shakes his head, not wanting to admit that he's spent the last two weeks sitting in his car alone during the lunch break. 

"Okay, well I have French now, so meet me here right after and we'll go eat. You can meet my girlfriend too." 

"Sure," Blaine says, smiling warmly. "Thank you." 

"No worries!" Mike calls, and Blaine feels like he's walking on air as he heads to Math. 

He likes Mike. He likes Tina, his girlfriend, too. They ask him questions, about how it feels to be uprooted and moved somewhere new, and he opens up a little, telling them small tidbits about his so-called brothers, but he doesn't go into full details. How do you explain that you're pretty much ignored at home, even by your own mom, unless you've done something wrong? How do you tell two people you barely know that your best friend is a fifty six year old man who lives across the street, and you once gave his son a blow job in the back of a car? How do you tell this lovely, sweet couple who have taken pity on you, that you're gay? 

You don't, Blaine decides. Unless you want to lose this new found friendship before it's even begun. 

He talks it through with Burt, but like most things with Burt, he just smiles and ruffles Blaine's hair; something that should annoy him but doesn't. "You'll tell them when you're ready," he says as he fiddles with Bessie's oil pump again. "You don't hear me telling everyone I meet that I'm widowed, because it's not needed. They don't need to know you're gay right away, and when you do tell them it doesn't need to be a big deal either. Now come look at this with me. I'm sure this pump isn't right." 

Blaine also meets Sam through Tina, and though not quite on the same intellectual level, Sam is sweet, funny and kind. Good looking too, and Blaine could possibly look at him in a whole other light if his head weren't so full of Kurt. He's tried asking Burt about his welfare in the most casual way possible, but Burt just mumbles something about him being fine but busy at work. He wants to know more, such as when he's planning on visiting again, or if he ever mentions or asks about Blaine over the phone, but Burt is razor sharp about so many things and Blaine doesn't want to give him cause for suspicion. Plus, if he revealed he has a crush on Kurt- which he can now acknowledge that he does- he figures Burt might not be so keen for them all to spend time together whenever Kurt does return. 

So he carries on with school, grateful to have found some friends, and he and Mike join the science club together, refusing to listen to Sam and Tina who want them to join them in show choir. "I can barely string a sentence together, let alone sing," he says, shaking his head in despair. "No way am I getting up there to sing and dance. I'd fall flat on my face and be all off key and...no," he says, fiddling with his fruit cup. "Just no." 

"Come on man," Sam says, patting him on the back. "It'd do wonders for your confidence. Plus chicks love a guy who can sing and dance, right?" 

"Just leave it," Mike says gently. "Blaine is busy with school and science club plus that car he's working on. He wouldn't have time." 

"And you?" Tina asks teasingly, and Mike grins. 

"And I'm just refusing because I don't want to. Simple as that." 

*

"Show choir," Blaine laughs as he and Burt wrestle to remove Bessie's fender. "Like, really. That's their suggestion. Can you see me in show choir?" 

Burt chuckles to himself as he listens to Blaine. The confidence of the boy is definitely improving, there's no doubt about that but no, he can't ever see Blaine standing up and singing to a packed audience. "I don't think it would be your thing," he says diplomatically. "Kurt did show choir, you know. He loved it."

Blaine stops dead, dropping his end of the fender. "Kurt did show choir?" 

"He did. Glee club, they call it there. You and Kurt are very different though. I couldn't see him ever setting foot in a science lab voluntarily," Burt laughs. "Come on. Let's clean her up." 

*

"Blaine's joining show choir?" Kurt asks down the phone, his eyes wide with shock. "Blaine, the one who works on Bessie with you, Blaine?" 

"The very same," Burt laughs. 

"Blaine, the one who can barely speak to humans, Blaine?"

"Don't be mean. He talks." 

"Nerd Blaine?"

"Kurt!"

"Blaine, the one who..."

"Stop right there," Burt warns. "Yes. Blaine is joining show choir, but listen. I think he’s only joining because I told him you used to do it." 

"Used to," Kurt repeats. "I'm not still in it." 

"I realize that, but I think he's got a bit of a crush." 

"On who?"

"You!" Burt cries. "Good lord you are ignorant." 

Kurt swallows hard. Actually, he's not ignorant at all. He's now wondering why on earth, after three months of not having any contact with Blaine at all, he feels so elated to hear his dad say those words. "I haven't seen or spoken to Blaine since I was home last," he says slowly, carefully. 

"I know that." 

"I'm only saying, that if he has a crush that's not my doing, that's all. I haven't encouraged him." 

"I know that too," Burt huffs. "I was only saying. Jeez. Why D'you have to get so defensive?" 

"I'm not defensive!"

"Case in point," Burt laughs. "A little crush is nothing to worry about anyway, and I could be wide of the mark. He might just as easily have joined for Sam." 

"Sam?" Kurt asks sharply. "Who's Sam?" 

"His school friend. Nice looking kid, and he seems quite smitten with Blaine. He came by the other day." 

"Dad, if you make a habit of entertaining teenage boys in your garage, people will talk." 

"Oh behave," Burt laughs. "I keep the door up at all times anyway. He was out riding his bike with another boy and girl, and the four of them all hang out at school apparently. They wanted Blaine to join them but he refused to go." 

"Well...maybe he doesn't like Sam," Kurt offers, and Burt frowns on the other end of the phone. 

"Nah, it's not that. He likes the car too much. Being here. I told him to go but he wouldn't. Said he'd join them at five, like I have him on some kind of strict schedule or something." 

"You do." 

"We do nine to five because it suits us!" Burt cries. "He's not beholden to me in any way, he can come and go as he pleases. I'm not making him do this." 

"Now who's defensive?" Kurt laughs. "Anyway. I might come home next weekend." 

"Oh? Why?"

"Don't you want me to?" 

"No, of course I do," Burt says quickly. "I'm just surprised, that's all. Thanksgiving's in a month. I thought you'd wait until then." 

"I'm coming home for that too. It's just...I thought...it's been a while since I visited, that's all." 

It's not a lie, it has been. Eleven weeks. Eleven long weeks during which he's tried to block all thoughts of Blaine from his mind and focus on the here and now, but this conversation, with mentions of crushes and other boys and just Blaine in general has the words tumbling from Kurt's mouth before he can give it anymore thought.

"It has but hey, I could come to you?" Burt offers. "I haven't been to New York in three years, Kurt. It'd be fun, huh?"

"No it wouldn't," Kurt snaps. "I'll fly home." 

"But..."

"You couldn't do that to Blaine, anyway. He likes working on the car, like you said." 

"I know but..."

"I'll get the early flight on Friday. You can pick me up at noon from the airport," Kurt orders, and Burt sighs heavily. He might not be welcome on Kurt's home turf, but at least he gets to see him. 

"Sure. I'll be there." 

*

Burt doesn’t tell Blaine. Not for any other reason than he doesn’t see him all that week. He usually sees him heading off to school in the morning, and he’ll give a cheery wave as he wonders how Blaine’s car actually manages to start, or he’ll call across the street when he arrives home from work if Blaine is out front hitting a ball against the wall with his tennis racquet, but there is no sign of him any day. He goes to school, or at least, that’s where Burt assumes he goes, but he’s gone long before Burt heads out, and when the car is back in its spot, Blaine doesn't come out of the house all evening. 

There is a reason, of course, not that Burt knows, and it starts on the Sunday night when Blaine finds his mom in the living room and seizes his opportunity, grateful that the house is otherwise empty.

“Mom, could I please have a friend over?”

“Oh.” Angie is completely taken aback but she recovers quickly, sitting up in the armchair and giving a vague smile. “Sure. The guy from across the road?”

“Burt? Uh, no,” Blaine says quietly. “Someone from school. His name’s Sam. I said I’d help him with his biology.” 

“Okay,” Angie says with a nod. “So he’s not really a friend, friend, just a guy you tutor.”

“He’s my friend,” Blaine says firmly. “I offered to help him, that’s all.” 

So Sam arrives, and they head to his room, and Blaine feels like maybe he can do this friendship thing after all. Even when he hears the front door slam and the noisy return of his step-brothers and Spencer, he just calmly slides the bolt into place. 

“I’m not keeping you hostage, I swear,” he says with a laugh. “It’s just...well, they’re not nice people.”

“Sure,” Sam says amiably. “I understand. One of them is in my math and french classes. He’s a grade A jerk. Man, I don’t know how you put up with them.” 

“It’s not easy,” Blaine admits. “But then I just keep thinking in two years I’ll be in college, right? I doubt I’ll ever go home at all after that.”

“What about your mom though?” Sam asks, shocked at Blaine’s apparent lack of feeling.

Blaine sighs, trying to think how best to put it into words. “Sam...if you had her as a mom, you’d understand.”

“Try me.”

“I....”

“You’re not a bad person, Blaine, so I know you wouldn’t want to leave your mom behind unless absolutely necessary. So tell me what it is.”

*

“He has a friend over?” Spencer asks in disbelief. “Blaine actually has a friend?”

“Apparently,” Angie says offhandedly as she makes tacos. “They’re up there now. He’s been here for an hour or so.”

“Blond or Asian?” Max asks, eating an apple regardless of dinner being made in front of him. “Cause those are the only two he speaks to at school. Well, there’s an Asian girl too.”

“Blond guy,” Angie nods. “He did say his name but I wasn’t really listening. Said he’s helping him with his biology.”

“Guy needs to get laid,” Simon mutters from his seat at the kitchen table. “Who the frick chooses to help someone with their biology?”

“Unless that’s exactly what he is doing,” Spencer says thoughtfully.

James frowns at his dad. “I’m lost.”

“Getting laid. That might be exactly what he’s doing right now.” 

“Ew!” Max cries in horror as Simon gags. “Dad! That is gross!”

“You might have a point though,” Angie says as she thinks it over. “I’ve always wondered if he’s gay.”

“Blaine’s queer?” James cries, his whole face lighting up at the prospect of having another round of ammunition. “Seriously?”

“That’s funny,” Simon laughs. “Cause we always call him gay boy.”

“I said he might be,” Angie laughs as she sets the food on the table and ruffles Simon’s hair. “You boys are such jokers. Max? Could you be an angel and call Blaine down for dinner? His friend too.”

“Sure mom,” he replies and hurries out to the bottom of the stairs. 

“I gotta listen to this,” Spencer laughs as he follows him. “This is gonna be hilarious.”

“Hey, gay boy” Max yells up the stairs. “Get your dick out Blondie’s ass and come down for dinner!”

Upstairs, in the sanctity of his bedroom, having just finished telling Sam all he goes through, Blaine gestures toward the door. “See? And can you hear Spencer laughing? They think that’s funny. They actually think it’s funny to let him speak to me like that.”

Sam nods, feeling completely helpless and so sad for his friend. “Come on,” he says decisively. “I’ll take you out for a burger. Or chicken!” he says brightly. “We could get chicken. I like chicken.”

“Oh no Sam, I don’t...”

“You’re not staying here,” Sam tells him, tugging him to his feet. “I’m about to pass a biology test for the first time ever, thanks to you, plus you and Mike joined showchoir so I wouldn’t be the only guy. Now I’m helping you out too.” 

Blaine hasn’t got the heart to tell him why he really joined the glee club, so he just nods and grabs his shoes, and the pair head down the stairs and sneak out as quietly as possible. 

“He must’ve gone out,” Spencer says when he hears the click of the front door closing. 

“Probably so we won’t hear him scream,” Simon says with a wink, and everyone laughs. 

The taunts are endless. Blaine doesn’t even bother to say anything to his mom about it, knowing full well he’ll be told that they’re just teasing and being boys. So he leaves home at six thirty every day, taking an apple and a yogurt from home which he eats in the school parking lot while waiting for the building to open, and after school he hides in his room, forever grateful for the bolt which Burt fitted. 

Despite being in his senior year, Simon seems to have nothing better to do than to wait outside Blaine’s bedroom for hours, calling out ridiculous comments which only reaffirm for Blaine that he absolutely will not come out as gay until he’s moved out of home. 

The comments are one thing, but then the whispers at school begin and Blaine, who has always been largely ignored, suddenly becomes the subject of whispered gossip or outright homophobic slurs which are said to his face or his back as he passes. 

“Faggot! Is it true you suck an old man’s dick for money?”

Blaine drops his head and carries on walking, even managing to stay upright when a passing jock gives him a hard shove. 

“Backs against the walls, guys!” Max calls as Blaine rounds the corner. “Otherwise Blaine will be bending you all over!”

“Just tell them you’re not gay,” Sam urges on Thursday at lunch. The four sit huddled underneath the bleachers, trying for Blaine’s sake to pretend that the October wind really isn’t as cold as it seems. 

“They wouldn’t care,” Tina say sadly, moving closer to Mike and really wishing they could find somewhere safe inside. 

“Blaine shouldn’t have to confirm or deny anything,” Mike says firmly. “What difference does it make if he’s gay or straight? He’s being bullied, and by his own step brothers too. Blaine, you have to talk to your mom about this.”

“I tried,” Blaine cries desperately. “But she just puts it down to boys being boys, over and over. She’s disappointed in me for not making more of an effort to be their friends.” 

“Someone else then?” Mike suggests. “The guy you work on the car with, does he know? He could maybe talk to your mom for you?”

“He doesn’t know any of this,” Blaine says, a pang of longing for the sanctity of Burt’s garage hitting his gut. “I haven’t had a chance to see him.”

“Go over tonight then,” Mike urges. “Talk with him, tell him how desperate you are.”

But that evening all Blaine wants to do is curl up and cry, so that’s exactly what he does do until he falls asleep. 

He wakes late the next morning, so late in fact that he barely makes it to homeroom in time. The buzz about him is worse than usual, but as none of his friends share his homeroom he doesn’t know why, until he steps into the hallway. 

Graffiti spans the whole row of lockers, bright red letters that spell out “Blaine Anderson loves cock.” He turns this way and that, and sure enough, Simon, Max and James stand laughing at the other end of the hallway. He makes toward them, but Sam, ignoring the catcalls and jeers, grabs his arm and spins him in the opposite direction. 

“Get your books, keep your head held high and then you and me are going to the principal.” 

The pain and humiliation Blaine feels at having to open his locker which is decorated with a giant phallus is nothing compared to the cold aloofness with which the principal greets his complaint. 

“How are we supposed to know who did it?” she shrugs, clearly not caring one bit. “The janitor is cleaning it up anyway.”

“Whoever did it defaced school property!” Blaine cries. “Don’t you even care about that?”

“It’s annoying,” the principal concedes. “But it’s washable spray paint so it will be removed without too much trouble.” 

“Unbelievable!” Sam shouts, throwing his hands in the air. “We’ve just been sitting here, telling you we know who did it, and why they did it, and your only concern is that the paint is washable? Really? How much does Blaine have to go through? If he blames them in his suicide note will you finally sit up and take notice? I might not be the sharpest tool in the box, but even I can see that what Blaine is being put through isn't right! People tell kids all the time that they’ve got to respect adults, well maybe if the adults were doing their job properly, we would!” 

“Detention, Mr. Evans,” the principal says in a flat monotone. “You will learn to respect adults whether you like it or not. Now get to class, both of you.” 

“I am so sorry,” Blaine whispers as they walk the now quiet halls. “Sam, just...”

“Don’t say it,” Sam snaps. 

“No please, stop being friends with me. All of you.”

“Not a chance,” he snarls through gritted teeth. “You really think we care what they’re saying? Don’t make me angry, Blaine. I’m pissed enough as it is.”

“Sorry.”

“Okay,” Sam shrugs. “This is my class. Find me at lunch, yeah? Meet me under the bleachers.”

“It’s raining.”

“So we’ll sit in your car. We can all fit. That’s the advantage of having a small, select group of friends,” he says, pulling Blaine into a tight hug. “See ya.”

Blaine is close to tears the whole day. The whispers are worse, the insults are unbearable, plus he receives his first ever B, and he’s pretty sure that from the look on his geography teacher’s face he knows why. He’s grateful for the final bell which signals the start of the weekend, and he almost runs to his locker to collect his homework books. 

“Going somewhere, faggot?”

Simon blocks his way, flanked by two other jocks and in front of them stand Max and James, grinning like maniacs. 

“Home,” Blaine says briskly, slamming his locker door closed.

“Except it’s not your home,” James snarls. “It’s ours. Our dad bought it and for some reason he lets you live in it. But we don’t want gay people living in our house.”

“No we don’t,” Max carries on. “So unless you can stand here right now and tell us that you’re not gay, you’re not welcome.”

“You can’t kick me out,” Blaine laughs. “It’s not your house.”

“We’ll tell dad you tried to hit on James,” Simon growls, taking a menacing step closer. “He’ll make you leave.”

“So tell us you’re not gay, and everything will be fine,” Max sing songs. “Unless of course, you are....”

Blaine takes a second to think. He doesn’t want to lie, because he knows his own dad would be so disappointed in him, but he also doesn’t want to tell the truth, so he does the only thing he can think to do. 

Pulling back his fist, he lands a punch that is full of anger, connecting squarely with Simon’s jaw and then he runs. Ducking and weaving past the students as they head toward the exits, his speed is no match for the lumbering jocks who can’t fit through the small gaps. Out in the parking lot he draws in a sharp breath when he sees his whole car covered in bright red phalluses, and in a split second decision he draws his key from his pocket, and runs it the entire length of Simon’s Volvo and then Max’s Ford. Then, with his hands shaking almost uncontrollably, he climbs into his defaced car, and heads for home. 

The relief which floods him when he sees Burt’s garage door up is like no other. Jumping from his car and knowing he probably only has minutes to spare, he tears across the road as fast as he can, not even noticing that Kurt is standing there as he stumbles and falls against Burt, his eyes desperate and wild. 

“They’re coming for me,” he says, his voice cracking as his panicked tears begin to flow. “Please help me Burt, you have to help me. They’re coming and I don’t know what to do.”


	6. Chapter 6

Burt clutches Blaine by the elbows, well aware he is keeping him upright. "What are you talking about?" he asks quickly. "Blaine? Calm down and tell me. Calm down, buddy, it's okay." 

"It's not!" Blaine chokes out, shaking his head. "It's not okay and it's never gonna be okay and I just don't know what to do anymore! I can't... I shouldn't... I...I can't Burt!" he cries, and this time he falls against Burt's chest, who wraps his arms around him as he sobs hard. 

"Blaine..." he breaks off, and suddenly remembers Kurt is in the room. Looking up, he sees a devastating look of anguish on his sons face, and Kurt bites on his fist, nodding across the road toward where Blaine's car is haphazardly parked at the edge of the sidewalk. "What the hell happened to your car?"

Burt's voice is so dangerously low that Blaine pulls back immediately, almost scared to answer. "Um...they did it today. The lockers at school too." 

"Is this some kind of sick joke?" Burt asks gravely. "They think this is okay?"

"It's been all week," Blaine whispers meekly. "Apparently my mom wondered aloud if I was gay, and that's all the ammunition they needed." 

"Little fuckers," Burt growls, shoving Blaine aside and heading toward the car. "Wait until I..." 

But Burt doesn't get to finish. The precious few minutes Blaine had to spare are up. Two cars suddenly mount the sidewalk outside Burt's house, and he has to jump out of the way or risk getting hit. 

"You shit!" Simon roars, jumping from his car and sprinting into the garage. "You fucking little shit! I'll kill you!" 

In one swift move he has Blaine by the front of his jacket, and spinning him around, proceeds to slam him hard against the hood of the car, twice, until Blaine can feel the blood trickling down into his eyes. He's vaguely aware of a lot of shouting, but it's more like a roaring in his ears as he slumps to the floor and leans shakily against Bessie's wheel, trying to focus. 

"He's really hurt," a voice says, and it's a voice Blaine recognizes but he's not sure how. 

"Let's get him inside." 

"No, don't move him yet. Pull the door down, at least." 

"Is your hand okay?" 

"Yeah. Yours?" 

"I'm okay. Tough as old boots me." 

Burt, Blaine realizes. That's definitely Burt.

"Yeah it's me kid," Burt laughs, and Blaine realizes his inner voice has been talking out loud again. "Just rest there a bit, okay? You had a hit on the head. I'm gonna go fetch some ice." 

With Burt gone, Blaine comes to a little more, touching his hairline tentatively and wincing at the feel of sticky blood. "I want my dad," he whispers to himself, and two tears trickle down his cheeks as he draws a shaking breath. 

"Don't cry," Kurt says softly, kneeling beside him and gently brushing his hair back off his forehead. "Please don't cry." 

"Kurt?" His face comes into focus then, and it's full of concern and sadness as he hovers beside Blaine. "When did you...?" 

"I was here when you arrived," he says with a small smile. "You walked right past me." 

"I interrupted," Blaine says, horrified. "I'm so sorry." 

"Oh hush, like we even care about that. I was busy admiring the work you've done on Bessie's fender." 

"I feel like I want to die, Kurt," Blaine admits, letting his tears flow freely. "I just want to curl up and not feel anything anymore." 

"Not gonna happen," Kurt says with a shake of his head. "You're needed here." 

"What for though?" he says morosely, and Kurt's answer comes so quietly that Blaine wonders if he actually heard it. 

"To make me smile." 

"Ice!" Burt's booming voice has Blaine wincing in pain again, and Kurt pats the back of his hand quickly before standing up. 

"Patient is a little more compos mentis," Kurt announces, stepping aside for Burt to press the ice pack to his forehead. "Blaine? Do you want some water or anything?" 

"Um...water sounds good," Blaine says quietly. "Thanks." 

"Hold that there," Burt orders Blaine. "Kurt, wait up. I need you to do something for me." 

Blaine is aware of mumbled voices, but trying to make out what they are saying makes his head hurt, so he stays put, leaning against the wheel of the car and holding the ice pack in place until Burt is back by his side. "Okay. Gimme a look." 

"Where'd Kurt go?" 

"To get you some water." 

"I forgot." 

"Hmm. It's not bleeding too bad. You had quite the knock, but I'll think you'll survive, which is more than can be said for that moron when I get my hands on him." 

"I'm so sorry, Burt," Blaine says despondently. "I never meant for you to get caught up in all this." 

"Hey, my fault," Burt says as he carefully examines Blaine's head. "I should've gotten Kurt to pull the door down right away." 

"Oh, it's closed now," Blaine says as he realizes and sits a little straighter. "That's why it's darker. I thought that was my vision or something." 

"Nope. Okay. You think you can stand? If you can get in the house you can at least sit on the couch while I call the cops." 

"What?" Blaine sits right up then, his eyes wide. "No! You can't do that, no!"

"Oh I can and I will sunshine," Burt says firmly. "No one comes onto my property to assault you like that." 

"I keyed their cars!" 

"Oh." Burt sits down on the floor again, stunned. "I see." 

"I'd had enough. I mean, I haven't even told you all of it I know, but I reached my limit. They cornered me at my locker and wanted me to say I'm not gay. I punched Simon and ran to my car, and when I saw what it looked like I keyed their cars in return." 

"Well, that's not...great, I guess, but this is a hate crime, Blaine, and they need to be accountable for what they've done." 

"Dad, you're forgetting that I also punched two of them," Kurt says as he comes back into the garage. "And there's a good possibility that you've damaged the other ones hearing with your right hook."

"I don't care!" Burt cries angrily. "I've had it with them. The damn parents aren't going to do anything, Blaine has no one to defend him expect me, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do." 

"Uh-huh," Kurt says, kneeling next to him. "And what happens when all this comes to light huh? That a court hears that you have a gay son already, and that you're inviting another gay teenage boy into your home each weekend, spending hours alone with him and entertaining him for dinner? What about when they hear that you've just punched a teenage boy so hard that he fell to the floor? This is Lima, Ohio, dad, not New York, or San Fran, or anywhere that actually embraces sexual diversity. I can tell you exactly what will happen. You'll be branded a pervert all over town, your business will go under and those boys will escape any kind of charge. I'm sorry, I agree this is all kinds of wrong, but I'm with Blaine on this. No cops. But they can pay for a new hood." 

"New..." Blaine starts as Burt gives his son a withering glare. "What are you..."

"Nothing. Here, drink your water," Kurt says, but Blaine kneels, then uses the car to pull himself up to standing. The hood which Burt had worked so painstakingly hard on, watched and assisted by Kurt and Blaine, now has a dent in it the size and shape of Blaine's head. What is more, the dent is right in the middle of the grooves, meaning the hood cannot be salvaged. 

"Oh my god," Blaine whispers, running his hand over the dull grey metal. "Oh my god. Burt. She's ruined." 

"She's not ruined," Burt says as stoically as he can. "We'll get her a new one." 

"I'll pay." 

"Oh no you will not!" Burt cries. "They'll pay, my boy. Trust me, they'll pay."

"Not with the cops though, please, not with the cops," Blaine says desperately. "I couldn't stand that if you were... If people said.... No. Just no. Please. Promise me, Burt, you have to promise. You're all I've got and I don't know what I'd do if..." 

"Okay, okay," Burt sighs, putting a comforting arm about Blaine's shoulders as he helps him across the garage. "No cops. This time. Now let's get you inside." 

Kurt disappears in the proceedings and though Blaine would like to ask where he's gone, he doesn't really feel like he can, so he just sits patiently while Burt cleans the blood from his face and examines the cut. 

"Hmm, it seems okay. Don't need stitches or anything. The cut is fairly small, actually, but you must've been so worked up that a lot of blood was flowing about up there or something. There's a bruise though." 

"Yeah, I was pretty....well." 

"You wanna elaborate on that?" 

"I do but..." 

"C'mere." Sighing, Burt settles with an arm about Blaine's shoulders and leans back against the couch. It takes several minutes but eventually Blaine relaxes enough to let his head rest on Burt's shoulder, and quietly he begins to speak.

He's not aware of Kurt coming back into the room from wherever he's been, but suddenly, when Blaine has finished his story, he looks up to find him leaning against the wall, listening. 

Realizing Blaine has noticed him, Kurt clears his throat and steps forward. "Uh dad? That's fine. There was no resistance." 

"Who'd 'ya get?" 

"Her." 

"Okay. Blaine, you're staying with us tonight. Kurt's been over and cleared it with your mom. Everyone needs time to cool off, and you're not going anywhere until I have word that you'll be safe." 

"You don't have to do all this." 

"Well look at that we just did. Kurt's already made up the guest bedroom."

"Come with me," Kurt says, feeling for all the world like he wants to offer his hand, so he stuffs them in his pockets instead and leads the way upstairs. "I just like...grabbed some stuff," he says awkwardly. "There was a pile of clean laundry on your bed so I took all of that, and your pajamas from under your pillow. I hope that's okay." 

"You've seen my pajamas?" Blaine asks as he follows Kurt down the hall. "That's embarrassing." 

"Eh. I've seen your underwear too, for that matter," Kurt says with a wink, but while it should seem sleazy, it's actually funny and Blaine finds his embarrassment giving way to laughter. 

"Well thank you, for snooping at my underwear." 

"You're welcome. So, you wanna take a shower? It might relax you a little." 

Blaine nods meekly, even though he's not too sure how long he can stay upright for, and Kurt leads the way to the bathroom and after handing him clean towels and instructing him to yell if he needs anything, leaves him to it. 

He finds his dad downstairs in the kitchen, looking at things on the laptop. "Your cell keeps jumpin'," Burt tells him. "Someone wants ya." 

Seven texts, all from Jeremy which Kurt deletes right away, then stands stunned for a moment as he realizes what he's just done. Since getting officially 'dumped' by Jeremy the history professor five years ago, whenever Jeremy has called, he's still gone running. 

The relationship had hurt him enough, knowing he would always have to stay hidden and was only used for sex and listening to Jeremy moaning about his wife, but the last five years had been harder still, because he knows there have been many, many others. For both of them. Kurt has been searching for that elusive spark since he first moved to New York, and he had spent seven years being used at will, and using others in return. Yet now, with a broken sixteen year old boy upstairs, and his much loved dad sitting by his side, Jeremy seems completely unimportant.

"What are you looking at?" Kurt asks, moving behind to lean his chin on his dad's shoulder. 

Burt is surprised by the intimate gesture but grateful, reaching around with one hand to rub the back of Kurt's neck. "Car auctions." 

"And?" 

"None for months. Not that I can drive to, anyway." 

"There," Kurt says, pointing at the screen. "Tennessee again. Tomorrow." 

"Can't," Burt sighs. "Blaine doesn't know but I'm gonna take him to the shop tomorrow. I have Liam on vacation and Logan's now out sick." 

"Well I could go."

"I can't make you do that," Burt sighs, patting his hand. "You've flown all this way. I can't make you do twelve hours driving." 

"I could take Blaine?" Kurt offers as casually as he can. "You could work and he'd be safe? I mean, he's probably not that suited to a day at the shop anyway." 

"Nah, you'd have to leave at like...five. Can't drag the kid out that early on a Saturday." 

"I don't mind."

They both turn, startled at the soft voice behind them. Fresh from his shower, Blaine looks so utterly lost and bewildered, tugging on the sleeves of his navy sweater, that Kurt wants to rush and take him in his arms again. In fact, this longing is becoming quite the habit, he realizes, watching as he walks across the kitchen toward them. 

He's beautiful.

Kurt needs to hold him, to find out what he feels like in his arms, to know if his head really will fit into the crook of his neck as perfectly as it looks like it would. 

"Car auction," Kurt chokes out, ignoring the strange look from his dad. "Tomorrow. I suggested we go, but it's a long day. Dad's not sure you'll be up for it." 

"I'd like to go," Blaine mumbles. "Since I was the one who damaged the hood an' all." 

"You weren't," Burt corrects automatically. "But you can go, I guess. I'm certainly not going across the road to ask permission. You will have to leave at five though," Burt says as he closes the laptop and heads to the fridge. "And Kurt, you bring him home in one piece."

"Of course I will!" Kurt cries indignantly. "What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Exactly what you think it means," comes the muffled response while Burt gathers items for dinner then straightens up. "I don't trust you two in a car together for twelve hours. Actually, strike that. Kurt, I don't trust you in a car with him for twelve hours." 

Blaine is surprised by the blush that comes high on Kurt's cheeks as he snaps "I'm not a predator, dad." 

"Whatever. We all know what happened the last time you were in a car together." 

Despite Burt's comment, which leaves an awkward silence for a while after, Blaine once again manages to relax during the evening, though his heart is still heavy with sadness as he thinks about his mom across the road, and wonders if she will come calling. 

She doesn't, of course, and mindlessly staring at an episode of CSI, with the comforting presence of Burt on the couch next to him and Kurt in the armchair to his right, he drifts off to sleep. 

Burt, checking Blaine really is out like a light, shuts the TV off. "Seriously Kurt, no resistance?" 

"Huh?"

"When you went over and asked for him to stay. The mom didn't say anything?"

"Nope," Kurt sighs. "Which is weird, considering she's never met me before. I just explained that I was your son and that given the circumstances I thought it would be best if he stayed with us tonight and she just nods and says fine. I had to ask to collect his stuff and she directed me to his room, but she didn't say anything else until I asked her if she knew she had a house full of violent bullies, and then she said....get this," he leans closer, lowering his voice. "She said Blaine was the one who caused all the trouble, by refusing to act like a boy and join in with them." 

Burt shakes his head. "I'm going over." 

"Dad, don't! It's late..."

"It's just turned nine," Burt scoffs. "And I'll be fine. I need to speak with their dad about the hood anyway, tell him he can pay up or risk me suing for criminal damage. I also want to make it very clear that the next time this happens I won't hold back on the cops. Can you wake Blaine up and get him up to bed please?" 

Kurt sighs and stretches. "Sure," he mumbles, then the second the door is closed adds under his breath "Because that's not like mental torment at all." 

He could actually sit and watch Blaine sleep for hours, the way his eyelashes seem to fan right out over his cheekbones. Seriously, they're ridiculously long, he thinks to himself, forcing his gaze up and not down to where his lips are begging to be kissed. The cut on his head has stopped bleeding, and Kurt looks at all the sticky gel in his hair and wonders why he reapplied it after the shower. Maybe it's a mental thing, he thinks. By controlling his hair in such a strict manner he can feel like he himself is in control. 

"Blaine," he says gently, then leaps backward when Blaine wakes with a start. 

"Huh? What? I'm awake, I'm awake."

"Hey, it's okay," Kurt whispers, and he feels pleased when Blaine relaxes again. 

"Sorry. I was worried." 

"Well don't. You're safe. Come on, let's get you to bed." 

When Blaine returns from the bathroom, dressed in his pajamas with his hair washed and carefully brushed, he is surprised to find Kurt sitting on the end of his bed. Embarrassed, he smoothes down the flannel of his top, scuffing at the floor with his bare toe.

"Uh..."

"Yeah, sorry," Kurt leaps up. "I'll leave you to it. So...we'll leave at five, yeah?"

"Sure," Blaine says, not wanting to climb under the covers with Kurt in the room. 

"We can stop for breakfast on the way."

"Okay."

"Blaine? Tomorrow? I was wondering if you'd wear less hair gel." 

Whatever question Blaine had been expecting, it certainly wasn't that, and he touches his hair tentatively. "You don't like my hair?" 

"It's not that. I like your hair a lot, which is why I'd like to see it with less product." 

"It curls," Blaine admits, then backtracks in his head and realizes what Kurt has said. 

"I can see," Kurt smiles, taking in the way Blaine's hair is already curling over his ears as it dries. "You don't have to but... Anyway. I'm gonna get to bed too so..." 

"Thank you for helping me today," Blaine whispers.

Kurt wonders if this is an act he does, making himself look so vulnerable in the hope that Kurt will hold him, but somehow, he doesn't think that's what he's doing at all. "Anytime," he says with a brisk nod, and then he is gone. 

The strange atmosphere continues the next day when Burt packs them off in the dark with a cooler full of food and travel mugs of coffee. They don't talk for a long time, not really sure of what to say or what tone the day will take. Eventually, an hour into the ride, Kurt decides to make conversation, but when he looks over he notices two things. Firstly, Blaine’s hair is curling softly, with just the lightest touch of gel, and also, he has gone back to sleep, his head resting against the truck window. 

"My god you're adorable." 

"I'm awake." 

"Shit!" 

Kurt is so startled he swerves on the road, though thankfully nothing is in the other lane this early in the day. "Shit!" he curses again, then turns his head when he notices Blaine is laughing. "It's not funny!"

"It is a little bit funny." 

"Be quiet, you're not supposed to laugh. You're supposed to be playing the wounded puppy." 

"You think this is an act?" Blaine asks, hurt.

"I didn't say that at all," Kurt snaps, annoyance hiding his embarrassment.

"Well what did you say then?" 

"I said you're adorable, didn't I? I wouldn't say that if I thought you were pulling a cheap stunt for attention."

"What do you mean by adorable?" 

"Here," Kurt says, tossing his phone into Blaine's lap. "It has a dictionary app. Look it up." 

"I know the definition," Blaine grouches, but he still finds the app and looks it up anyway. 

"Very attractive or delightful," Blaine reads aloud. "Worthy of being adored." 

Kurt laughs in spite of himself and Blaine joins in. "I'm just gonna drive and try not to die of epic embarrassment," Kurt says with a grin.

"While adoring me, of course," Blaine teases.

"Of course." 

"I should make you kneel before me." 

"Uh no, Blaine, you should absolutely not do that."

Blaine realizes what he's said and his face flames red, and it becomes Kurt's turn to laugh. “Oh man.”

Blaine, enjoying the way the atmosphere has lightened, looks down at Kurt’s phone in his lap. “Can I look at your photos?”

“No.”

The answer is swift and firm, so Blaine nods then looks out the window before turning back to him again. “Any other idea how to dig ourselves out of this weird hole?”

“I don’t know,” Kurt snaps. “Put some music on or something.”

Blaine fiddles with the radio a moment, eventually settling on a fairly neutral station which he leaves to play softly in the background. “Kurt?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you like me?”

“That depends on what definition of like we’re going with.”

“Like that,” Blaine clarifies. “Do you like me like that?”

“If you look out the window you might see eagles. They’re often flying around here.”

Blaine does as he’s told, hoping his wide grin isn't reflected in the glass and Kurt drives on, silently berating himself for ever having gotten involved.


	7. Chapter 7

Kurt Hummel has so much sex that he never gets frustrated. He just never has time to. Practically all his time away from work is spent in one bedroom or another, but never his own. It doesn't have to be a bedroom either. A hallway, living room, wall, alley way or car will suffice. Names, ages, occupations, none of that is important to Kurt. All that matters is getting laid.

It comes as a great surprise then, for him to discover that not only does he wonder what it would feel like to hold Blaine in his arms, he also thinks about kissing him. A lot. Not only that, but the thought of kissing him- just the thought of kissing him- drives him absolutely insane with lust and desire.

If he had been less of a coward, he would have confronted these feelings and admitted that the depth of them scares him witless, especially considering how little time he has actually spent in Blaine’s company. However, given that he is Kurt; world class expert in putting up barriers and pulling down shutters, he chooses to blindly ignore his inner voice in the hope it will go away. In turn, this ignorance leads to utter confusion for Blaine, who spends the majority of the day not knowing how Kurt is going to react to anything he says.

After three hours on the road they stop for breakfast at a roadside diner. Blaine bolts right inside and heads to the bathroom, emerging to find Kurt sitting in a booth near the window and he slides in opposite.

“The bathroom’s clean.”

Kurt looks contemplative, staring out the window but when Blaine speaks he turns his head around sharply. “So? What’s that gotta do with anything?”

“Nothing,” Blaine shrugs. “Just saying; if you wanted to use it, it's nice and clean, that’s all.”

The waitress comes to take their orders and Blaine realizes he’s not even glanced at the menu, so he reads it over while Kurt orders and their coffee cups are filled.

“Blaine,” Kurt snaps.

“Huh?”

“Order.”

“Oh. Uh....I’ll have...I don’t know. Uh... Toast, maybe? No. Not toast. Um....”

“Blaine...”

“Eggs? Do I want eggs?”

“He’ll have eggs,” Kurt barks at the waitress, snatching Blaine's menu back and handing it to her. “Over easy with hash browns and sausage. Side of toast too.”

“I said I didn’t want toast!” Blaine protests.

“Be quiet.”

Kurt has told a lot of people to be quiet or shut up over the years, but few ever actually listen. The way in which Blaine seems to shrink back against the bench, folding his hands in his lap and bowing his head actually hurts Kurt’s heart and he reaches across the table in a futile gesture then places his hand meekly back in his own lap.

“Sorry.”

Blaine shakes his head, unable to comprehend the exchange that has just taken place. He runs it back over in his mind, trying to work out what he did wrong but he can’t come up with anything. Since Kurt’s non admission in the truck a couple of hours ago not much had been said. Blaine had taken a short nap, and they had talked about the directions and what to look for at the auction, but that was about it.

"How's your head?" Kurt asks into the silence, but Blaine keeps his head bowed, his voice soft and quiet.

"Fine."

"And like....the rest of you? Um... Emotionally?"

"Fine."

"Right."

Kurt’s phone suddenly breaks the silence that ensues, alerting him to a text, and Blaine watches as he reads it, frowns and fires something off in return.

The text is actually from Santana; a reply to something Kurt had sent while Blaine was in the bathroom, but as usual she is most unhelpful.

_Question: What do you do if you want to kiss a sixteen year old boy so desperately you feel you might die from longing?_ he had sent to her, and ten minutes later he got his answer.

**As a twenty eight year old lesbian: panic.**

_Very funny. This is serious. JFC. I’m sitting in a diner in the middle of Cincinnati wondering how it would feel to have his mouth on mine_

**If you’re like that over a kiss, imagine how it would feel to fuck him.**

_Don’t even mention it. I’ll explode._

**Explode over this instead: Jeremy came by, wanted to know where you were.**

_What did you tell him?_

**Home for a while. I should have added you were fantasising about fucking someone barely legal.**

_Fuck you._

Kurt slams his phone down on the table and takes to looking out the window again, and he doesn't even turn around when their identical breakfasts are set in front of them.

Blaine carries on eating, figuring Kurt will talk when he’s ready and anyway, the silence is preferable to the sniping.

Eventually Kurt picks up his fork, prodding at his food before taking a few bites. “I need to apologize for that night at Scandals,” he says suddenly, and Blaine looks up in surprise.

“That was nearly six months ago.”

“I know, but what I did, how I acted...it wasn’t right, and I don’t want you to think I’m like that.”

Blaine leans back in his seat, folding his hands neatly over his stomach. “I don’t think you’re like that Kurt,” he says quietly. “I think you put on a lot of pretences, and actually I feel quite honored that I’ve gotten to see the real you.”

“Oh?” Kurt is mildly affronted but intrigued. “What do you think is the real me then?”

“The Kurt who taught me crazy eights, who knelt beside me and told me not to cry and who told me I'm adorable."

"You need to forget I ever said that."

"I won't ever forget it," Blaine says with a sad smile, "because no one's ever said that to me before."

"Why were you there, that night?"

"I'd been there lots of nights."

"But why? I mean, you're the last person in the whole of the US that I would guess to be bar hopping at sixteen."

Blaine pauses, eats a little more and pauses again before he gives his reply. "It wasn't like I ever planned it. When dad died I felt....adrift, I guess is the best way of describing it. I was totally lost and then, a month after the day of his funeral, mom told me she had met a man at the grocery store and he'd asked her out on a date. I felt sick. I knew what was coming, and all the time she was telling me she'd agreed to go on a date with him because she couldn't be alone forever and all that....all I could think over and over was 'liar.' She lied to me, my dad was gone and that was that. Suddenly I was alone but not alone, and that was even worse. I needed to escape and I just wanted to mean something to someone again. In my infinite and immature wisdom I thought I might meet a guy there, you know? We were living in Spencer's house and I was sleeping on a mattress on the basement floor. It was easy enough to sneak out."

"Did you meet anyone?"

"Only you." Blaine gives a rueful smile and shakes his head. "You kinda have this air about you. People sit up and take notice. You know that, don't you?"

"I do know that," Kurt says quietly. "But that night there was only one thing that I wanted."

"I was planning on asking you out," Blaine admits, and Kurt laughs out loud. "What's funny?"

"People don't ask me out. We fuck, I leave. End of."

"Charming," Blaine mutters, then slides out of his seat and throws some money on the table. "I'll wait for you by the truck."

Kurt gives him some much needed cooling off time, and ignores his phone which buzzes on the table with messages from Jeremy. Eventually he heads out across the lot to where Blaine is leaning against the cab of the truck, looking out at the busy junction. "I'm a dick, right?"

Blaine inclines his head slightly, not looking at him. "Poor choice of words."

"Ah shit," Kurt mutters, but he looks up to catch a hint of a smile on Blaine's face which he returns.

"If I'd asked you out that night, would you have said yes?"

"Probably not," Kurt admits as kindly as he can. "I was after one thing. I won't try and deny it. I walked in and there you were. I knew instantly where the evening would end up."

"And if I asked you out now?"

Kurt sighs, leaning against the truck so they're side by side, their shoulders just touching. "I can't, Blaine," he whispers sadly. "You know that."

"Because of your dad?"

"No," Kurt starts, then pauses a second before continuing. "Well, that's part of it, I guess. He wouldn't be happy. Not because of you, but because he wouldn't see me as being any good for you, which I wouldn't be."

"I could be good for you though."

"I've no doubt," Kurt says, feeling like his heart might crack any second. "But I'm not...I'm not the one you're looking for, Blaine. I don't do romance, I don't do dates and I don't do commitment."

"Why not?"

It's not an angry or accusatory question, but rather one of genuine curiosity. Still, it has Kurt back on guard again. "Because it only leads to hurt, so it's easier to keep it to just sex."

"You're missing out on so much."

"And you know that how?"

Blaine falls silent once more, not dignifying Kurt's retort with an answer.

"You're sixteen, Blaine," Kurt says, a hint of desperation betraying his true emotion. "I'm twenty seven and whatever happened, or whatever I might want to happen...it can't. You have so much more to learn."

"Great," Blaine mumbles, staring at his shoes. "I'm a kid."

Kurt turns to face him, his feet coming into view either side of Blaine's legs and when he looks up, Kurt is inches from his face. "Whatever I might want to happen, it can't," he repeats softly. "Not because you're a kid, but because you are a wonderful person and I would take all of that away from you. You deserve so much better than me."

Blaine's heart is pounding in his chest and his nerves are making his whole body shake, but he bites his lip and meets Kurt's eyes. "If you could do anything in the world right now, what would you do?"

"You," Kurt replies quickly, but such is the tension between the pair that even though they both smile, the moment remains charged. "I could kiss you right now," he whispers, noticing the way the tip of Blaine's tongue runs over his bottom lip.

Oh, to feel it against his own.

Blaine is silent, unmoving, waiting, but the kiss never comes. A jolt of reality hits in the form of a passing truck blaring its horn, and Kurt steps backward, shaking his head to clear it. "We need to get to this auction," he mumbles, walking around the other side to climb in the truck.

The majority of the auction is spent under a forced air of normality as they browse then take their places for the bidding to start.

"We could buy another car," Blaine says with a laugh as they settle into their seats. "Take that home instead."

Kurt, well worn with having to spend torturous hours in Blaine's company without behaving in an improper manner, snaps "Don't be ridiculous."

"I was joking."

"Well don't joke. Just don't say anything. Let me handle this."

There are two other bidders for the lot of Buick parts but Kurt sees them off easily, possibly from the withering glares he sends them each time they raise their paddles. When the lot is called as sold, and Blaine and Kurt are announced as winners, Kurt forgets himself for a moment, bouncing in his seat like a kid and turning to Blaine, his eyes shining with excitement.

"We won!" he cries, his hands gripping Blaine's thighs. "We won! Now Bessie can have a nice new hood and we...." he stops, unnerved by the way Blaine is staring at him. "Blaine?"

But Blaine doesn't answer, completely enraptured by this wonderfully happy side of Kurt and in that moment, it becomes all he ever wants to see. He imagines Kurt's face if he were to send him flowers just because the skies were gray. He can see him burying his face in their scent then looking up, his eyes happy and laughing. He wonders what it would be like to surprise him with a picnic for two in a summer field, to feel his body under his hands as he gently kissed him and laid him down on the rug, and he can see Kurt smiling softly as they gaze into one another's eyes. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you," he thinks to himself as he continues to stare, but then Kurt frowns and backs off, folding his arms across his chest.

"Don't say stuff like that."

Blaine is horrified, scrambling out of his seat and following Kurt toward the auction officials. "Did I say that out loud?"

"Well how the hell else did you say it?"

"Sorry. I just....that happens to me sometimes. I don't know why but my inside voice forgets to stay inside," he jokes lightly.

"Child."

Blaine stops dead, hurt by Kurt's blunt anger but Kurt is uncaring, heading over to pay for their lot and sign the paperwork before returning to Blaine. "Okay. Let's go collect. I'll bring the truck round."

"Why are you so mean to me?"

"I'm not."

"Yes you are," Blaine argues. "It's like...it goes along okay for a while and then I say something completely harmless and you snap at me. Do you realize how hurtful you are?"

"Go wait by the lot, Blaine. Two six two. I'll bring the truck around."

Kurt storms off while a despondent Blaine trails over to the pile of car parts and waits where he's been told. Raking a hand desperately through his hair, Kurt leans heavily against the side of the truck and pulls out his phone. He means to text Santana, but in his desperation and panic he scrolls to Jeremy's name.

_I fly home tomorrow. Be at my place at eight. I'm gonna fuck you until you can't remember your own name._

They load the truck in a silence which is heavy with so many unsaid words it drags them down. They take all the parts they've bought, even though they won't need them all, and the second everything is loaded, Kurt starts the engine and heads home.

"Ugh. Tired of driving," he mutters, trying to make conversation.

"I could drive, if you want?"

"No, I didn't mean that. It's fine."

"I don't mind."

Mercifully, the second Blaine takes over Kurt falls asleep, and conversation is avoided for a good couple of hours which gives Blaine time to think. He doesn't want Kurt. Not like this, anyhow. He wants the man that Kurt seems to be desperately trying to hide again. The Kurt that loves his dad with his whole heart, the one that cracks unfunny jokes then demands that everyone laughs, which in turn makes them all crack up. The Kurt that seems to revel in every second of being with Burt and Blaine and the Kurt that protects and cares for them both.

He doesn't want the Kurt that bites his head off without warning, and the one that is moody and sullen. He doesn't want the cold, uncaring Kurt who brings everything back to sex being a means to an end rather than anything that holds actual meaning. Earlier, when Blaine was pretty sure Kurt was about to kiss him, it had been everything he wanted, but now he's clear. Until the Kurt he wants is in existence all the time, Blaine will be strong and stay away.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?" he startles, not having known Kurt was awake and he prays his inner voice has stayed just that. He gets no further response though, and glancing across he can see that Kurt is indeed still asleep, curled up on the seat with his head resting against Blaine's balled up jacket. "Please, Kurt, use my jacket as a pillow. By all means," he mumbles with a laugh.

"Hold me."

Blaine freezes, not daring to look to his right and his hands grip the wheel that little bit tighter.

"Just hold me."

This time he does glance across, and it is to see Kurt with his whole face pressed into Blaine's jacket, clutching it tightly He drives on, but when he can see the traffic slowing ahead he pulls off at the next exit and finds a Cracker Barrel. "Hey sleepy head," he whispers gently. "Want dinner?"

"Huh?" Kurt wakes slowly, stretching his arms above his head. "Cracker Barrel?" he asks, his whole face lighting up. "I love these! I haven't been in one in years."

"Well it's a little early, but the traffic was slowing so I figured it'd give it time to pass."

Kurt answers with a nod and a brief "sure," biting his lip hard as he gathers his wallet and phone and jumps down from the truck. What he had been seconds away from saying was "Nevermind dinner, just for gods sake kiss me before I die."

Blaine wonders why, when Kurt had woken and seemed so happy, he's now storming across the lot to the restaurant door, pushing it open and going inside without even glancing back to see if Blaine is following.

Blaine heads to the restroom, positive that Kurt is in the cubicle but he doesn't call out, just goes to the bathroom and leaves, waiting at a table for two. It is a much happier Kurt that emerges thank goodness, and once they've ordered, he leans forward in his chair and meets Blaine's gaze. "So...you can tell me to fuck off..."

"I don't curse."

"No, well you wouldn't, would you?" Kurt asks, sticking his tongue out and making Blaine laugh. "So you can politely ask me to mind my own business but...well, dad's told me bits about you, how you came to be in Lima and stuff, but I'd like to hear it from you. Tell me about when you were growing up and all that stuff."

Blaine finds it surprisingly easy to talk to Kurt in spite of how he's feeling, and he ends up talking for most of their meal about his dad and all that had taken place since. He doesn't find it upsetting either, and he's spurred on by Kurt listening intently, waiting until he's finished.

"Your dad sounds like a wonderful man."

"He was," Blaine says with a smile, and he realizes it's possibly the first time he's been able to use the past tense without feeling overcome.

"I'm sorry about your mom though," Kurt carries on. "As for those jerks well... Man, if I was at school with you I'd probably end up suspended for smashing their heads together."

Blaine laughs. "What was school like for you?"

"I didn't enjoy it really," he says, thinking back. "Like you I was bullied, and I found it hard to make friends. I liked show choir, but I didn't keep in touch with anyone from school, and I was always desperate to get out."

"To New York?"

"Yeah, I mean when I was growing up, it always seemed like this beacon of acceptance and hope. The one place where anything goes and no one is afraid to reach for the stars."

"You like it there?"

"I do," Kurt starts slowly, then he frowns. "Not as much as I should. I've fallen out of love with it a little bit. I should probably try and get that back."

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?"

"Did you always know you were gay?"

"Yeah. I mean, I dreamed of marrying a prince, and when I was about nine or ten I went through a phase of wondering if that meant I was supposed to be a girl, but then dad dropped hints about what it meant to be gay, and when I looked into it more, I realized it all fit."

"Your dad said you came out to him."

"I did, but he knew. I'm sure of it. He says he didn't, but I was a pretty effeminate kid and when I hit puberty I never discussed girls or showed any interest. I was fifteen when I told him."

"I was fifteen when I told my dad too."

"We lucked out with our dad's, didn't we?" Kurt says with a smile. "I think that maybe I don't always treat mine so well though, and that makes me sad."

"Well you can change that," Blaine points out. "He loves it when you're home."

"I know, but I can't always be there."

"No, but you can be nicer when you're back in New York."

"We'd better go," Kurt says suddenly. "Otherwise he'll be wondering where we are."

"Sure," Blaine mumbles, fishing for his wallet. He's disappointed the conversation is over, but he feels like they maybe know each other a little better than they did before, so he can't really be too sad.

"I'll get it," Kurt says, setting some bills down.

"No, it's fine..."

"Blaine." Kurt reaches across to still his hand, but the second their fingers touch he can't help but hold his hand properly, rubbing his thumb over Blaine's palm. "Let me buy you dinner."

"In Cracker Barrel?"

"Cracker Barrel is awesome," Kurt smiles. He doesn't let go of Blaine's hand, staring deep into his eyes.

"It's a shame the table's in the way," Blaine says quietly, and Kurt grins.

"It is rather."

They tear themselves apart reluctantly and head back to the truck but the atmosphere is much lighter than before. The traffic is clear, and with Kurt behind the wheel they make good progress.

The rain starts just outside Dayton and only grows harder with each mile closer to home. Kurt squints and leans closer to the windshield. "Fuck. I can hardly see."

"You okay? You wanna stop?"

"Nah, no point. It'll be in for the night now anyway. Unless you wanna find a motel and I can have my wicked way with you?"

Blaine laughs loudly and shakes his head, unable to formulate a reply.

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you feeling okay about going home?"

"Not really." His voice goes so quiet that it's hard to hear him over the noise of the rain and he fiddles with the cuffs of his jacket. "I don't think I ever will though."

"Dad went over last night."

"I didn't know that."

"I don't know what went on, exactly, but Spencer handed over a check for eight hundred dollars for damage to Bessie, so I'd say he's probably well aware of the severity of Simon's attack."

"He might be aware; doesn't mean he's gonna do anything about it."

Kurt fumbles in the near dark, finding Blaine's hand and squeezing it tight. "It'll get better, Blaine. I promise you."

He has to let go, unfortunately, because the massive thunder clap brings with it even harder rain, and Kurt needs both hands on the wheel. His phone buzzes on the bench between them and he talks to Blaine without taking his eyes off the road.

"Can you get that? It'll be dad asking if we're okay. Just text him back and say we're an hour away."

When Blaine unlocks the phone and sees the name Jeremy, and the words 'one image attached' he should set it back on the seat and tell Kurt it's not his dad, but he doesn't. He opens the message and yells loudly at the graphic photo of an erect penis with come dripping from it, and the words 'thinking of you' typed underneath.

"Jesus fuck, Kurt!" Blaine cries, dropping the phone as if burned. "What the fuck?!"

"What? What?" Kurt cries in panic, realizing that Blaine is cursing like a sailor. "What's wrong?"

"Is this your idea of a sick joke, Kurt? Huh? I know you have sex, I don't need pornagraphic images from one of your many lovers to remind me!"

"What are you talking about?" Kurt yells, suddenly feeling very sick indeed.

"This!" Shoving the phone into Kurt's line of vision, Blaine struggles to breathe through his anger as he watches Kurt give a horrified glance.

"Oh shit. Blaine... Hold up...." Glancing in his mirrors, he pulls over with his warning lights flashing and the second he does so, Blaine is out of the truck and running.

"Blaine! Get back in the truck," Kurt yells, but Blaine is quickly vanishing down the road in the rain and Kurt is forced to trail after him with the window down. "Blaine! Get in!"

"No!"

"Blaine! Get in the truck! You're an hour from home you idiot."

"I don't care!" Blaine cries desperately. "It's not my home, anyway."

Kurt stops the truck abruptly, jumping out and running after him and seizing him by the back of his jacket. "Get in the fucking truck or I'll punch the living shit out of you!" he yells, his anger at Blaine an attempt to hide his shame.

Blaine trails after him, climbing inside and sitting as near to the window as possible.

"You're all wet."

"No shit Sherlock," Blaine snaps. "Its raining."

Kurt shuts up, pulling back out onto the road and driving in silence until he just can't stand it anymore. "Can I explain?"

"No you cannot."

"Please?"

"No."

"Blaine...Jeremy is..."

"I don't give a damn, Kurt!" Blaine shouts angrily. "Just...go back to your life in New York and being an arrogant shit. You wanna act like a whore then do so, but don't try and drag me into your sordid little games."

"I wasn't! I was just..."

"Save it, Kurt! I'll be civil to you for your dad's sake, but don't ever talk to me about anything unless it concerns him or the car."

Kurt pulls into the driveway, and Blaine is surprised to find they're home already. He clicks the garage remote and Blaine jumps from the truck again, running into the garage, hotly pursued by an angry and indignant Kurt.

"I have had it with you!" he screams at Blaine's retreating back. "Your holier than thou attitude stinks, you know that? You are sixteen years old, Blaine! You know nothing of relationships or how they work!"

"Neither do you!" Blaine roars back, whirling about to confront him. "You think it's all about fucking someone and walking away. Can't you see that desire is so much more than that? You wanna release some tension then watch porn and get off to that, you jerk! Don't pimp yourself out, Kurt! You are so much better than that."

"Fuck you, Blaine! You don't know shit! Sex is good, okay? Sex is fun. I don't need to connect to anyone, I don't need to be romanced."

"You're lying," Blaine says, his voice gone soft and sad. "You're lying to yourself."

"What do you want, huh?" Kurt screams in his face. "What do you want from me Blaine? Is this it?" and seizing Blaine's face roughly in his hands, proceeds to pull him into a fierce kiss which is nothing more than an angry mashing of lips. There is no romance, no tenderness, just anger, hurt and pain. He lets go abruptly, shoving Blaine back hard against the garage wall.

Blaine reels for a moment, pretty sure he can taste blood from where his teeth have been pushed against his lips. "Yeah," he whispers sadly. "Makes sense you'd ruin that for me too."

Turning quickly, he walks from the garage without another word, out into the rain and the dark night. Kurt leans back against the wall, breathing hard. He is so worked up that he doesn't hear his dad coming in through the house door, but suddenly his voice comes.

"You are a number one idiot, you know that?"

"Shut up."

"You do know that was probably his first kiss, right?"

"His..." Kurt trails off weakly, overwhelmed with what he has just done.

"Oh come on, Kurt," his dad snaps. "You must know that."

"I...ah fuck it." He tears from the garage and across the road to where Blaine stands dripping wet, staring at his house as if wishing it would disappear. "That was your first kiss?" Kurt asks, stricken.

Blaine doesn't speak but gives a small nod, looking down at his shoes as the rain runs from his hair.

"Oh Blaine," Kurt says sadly. "You...I...I'm..." He is fully intending to apologize, but when Blaine looks up, pain and anguish painted across his face, Kurt is overcome. Surging forward, he closes the gap between them and claims Blaine's mouth in a hungry kiss. The feel of Blaine's wet hair sliding through his fingers only makes him press their bodies closer together, and then suddenly Blaine is kissing back in spite of himself, his hands fisting the front of Kurt's sweater and tugging him unfathomably closer still. The feel of their lips together is better than either could have ever imagined, and every ounce of frustration, anger and desire manifests itself in a kiss which neither ever wants to end.

The initial passion gives way to deep longing, and the kiss becomes romantic and loving. Tentatively, Kurt dares to taste with his tongue and when Blaine moans softly in his throat and opens his mouth wider, Kurt feels himself growing hard immediately. They keep kissing, right there on the corner of Blaine's driveway in the pouring rain, with Kurt's hands framing Blaine's face tenderly until eventually they slow. Even then they are both reluctant to part, dropping sweet kisses to each other's lips as gradually Blaine allows an ear splitting grin to take over his face.

"You have no idea how desperately I've wanted to do that," Kurt whispers, his eyes still closed as he presses his forehead against Blaine's. "I just..." He goes back in for more and Blaine responds willingly, his hands on the small of Kurt's back this time, pushing their groins together. It becomes Kurt's turn to whimper, and his soft groan is immediately swallowed by Blaine who runs his tongue into Kurt's mouth once more. This time, when they break it is to fall into a deep, long hug, and yes, Blaine does fit as perfectly as Kurt hoped he would.

He holds him tight and allows himself to be held in return, noticing how although Blaine might be young, and relatively small, he is manly and firm against him, and just the feel of Blaine's arms around him make him feel safe and secure.

"Blaine..."

But Blaine backs away, smiling softly. "Goodnight Kurt," he whispers. "I'll see you tomorrow."

He is up the porch stairs in two bounds, not at all surprised to find Spencer and his mom standing in the hall. "So you are gay then," Spencer states with utter disdain.

"Yep," Blaine says cheerfully, heading right for the stairs. "Sure looks that way to me."

Kurt walks slowly across the road, torn between needing time to get his head around it all or running back to Blaine and begging for more. When he opens the front door he finds his dad sitting in the armchair, pretending to read the newspaper.

"Don't say a word," Kurt calls as he heads for the stairs, and behind the paper, Burt gives a small smile.

**  
"Wouldn't dream of it."**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos. Find me on twitter: mrscriss2012

Burt Hummel doesn’t know how to feel on waking. On the one hand, he feels a deep unease over what had taken place the night before. He can’t pretend to feel happy that Blaine is so obviously smitten with someone as cold and unfeeling as Kurt but then....that kiss. 

Burt is a man of the world, but in all his fifty six years on earth he has never seen a kiss like it. It was so intimate that he had to look away. When he looked back it was to see Kurt with his forehead pressed to Blaine’s and his eyes screwed shut. The way he held Blaine’s face was almost as if he was scared to let go, and Burt had realized, as he kissed him again, that Kurt didn’t want it to be over.

When he had looked back again, he was even more surprised. There they were, his son and a boy eleven years his junior, hugging. Not a hard, brotherly hug or the hug of friends but a warm, intimate embrace which actually brought tears to Burt’s eyes. How he wished Kurt could truly find whatever it was he was missing in the arms of Blaine. 

Maybe he will, Burt muses as he dresses. It might take time, and it’s bound to be one hell of a ride, but maybe Blaine is the key to Kurt becoming Kurt once more. 

As for Blaine, well...if anyone deserves love, it’s him. He smiles as he realizes his wish for Blaine is exactly the same as Blaine’s dad had wished before. He wants that boy to find someone who treats him well and adores him for just who he is. 

He stops on the landing, cheered by the unmistakable sound of Kurt singing in the shower and he wonders how long it has been since he’s heard that. By the time he reaches the kitchen he is happier, deciding to see how it all plays out before Kurt catches his flight later that afternoon, starting with keeping a surreptitious eye on them while they work on Bessie. 

The doorbell sounds, and he’s cheered further by the fact that Blaine has still come for breakfast as usual. “Good morning,” he greets cheerfully and Blaine grins, abashed. “What do you want to eat?” he asks as he heads down the hall. “Toast? Or my son’s face?”

Blaine flares red, his eyes darting this way and that as Burt gives a hearty laugh and claps him on the back. "I'm just messing with you."

"I'm sorry," Blaine says quietly. "It maybe wasn't right but..."

"It was gonna happen sooner or later," Burt reasons. "And as first kisses go, it's one you'll remember at least." 

"I'm ignoring the one that happened before," Blaine admits. 

"So am I." Burt sets two mugs of coffee down and a large plateful of toast. "I will say a couple of things though." Glancing toward the kitchen doorway, he checks Kurt's arrival isn't imminent. "Be careful, Blaine. Kurt is...well he's older, for a start, and he's um...well he doesn't really do the whole boyfriends thing, okay? I think you should know that now, because otherwise you're gonna end up hurt." 

"He told me that," Blaine says softly. "But he might change his mind."

"He won't, son," Burt tells him gently. "Not right now, anyhow. He might after a while, maybe. But he's going back to New York today, and I don't think you should be thinking about the what if's right now. Just enjoy spending this morning together, then see him again at thanksgiving and the holidays and see what happens then." 

Blaine nods, too preoccupied with suddenly thinking about the holidays to worry about what Burt is saying. Thanksgiving will be awful, he thinks to himself, and Christmas even worse, but the possibility of more Kurt is definitely something he could live for. 

"Don't lay your heart on the line," Burt carries on. "Kurt used to be so much fun and so caring and sweet. I gotta say, with you around he's definitely better, but he's not quite there yet." 

"He was actually pretty vile yesterday."

"I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have sent you."

"No, no, it was....that's fine." 

Blaine cannot stop thinking about the kiss. How it had felt to have Kurt's mouth on his. There was no hesitancy, no tentative movements on either part. What had surprised him the most, maybe, was the depth of emotion from Kurt. Blaine didn't need long drawn out explanations or declarations because he could feel it in the movement of Kurt's lips, the tender touch of his hands, and as for the whispered "you have no idea how desperately I've wanted to do that" well, that was everything. 

"Who's Jeremy?"

Blaine's question takes Burt completely off guard and he chokes on his coffee at hearing a name he hasn't heard in so long. "Uh...remember the professor I was telling you about? The one Kurt was having an affair with? That's Jeremy."

"Still is." 

"Huh?"

"He's still having an affair with him, or I think he is, anyway." 

"Really?" Burt says in what he hopes is an offhanded manner. "Right." 

"His phone was going off with texts all day yesterday, and he asked me to read one, assuming it would be you. It wasn't."

"That must've hurt?" 

"A little," Blaine shrugs. "To be honest I was more hurt on his behalf, that he thinks that's all he's worth to someone. I can't be angry; he doesn't owe me anything. I just...I don't think Kurt Hummel should ever be anyone's second best." 

"Morning." 

Blaine jumps about a foot in his seat at the sound of Kurt's voice, but when he turns around all that greets him is a shy smile, the kind that makes his heart lurch, and he realizes Kurt hadn't heard anything at all.

"Hello," Blaine offers, all stiff and formal and suddenly feeling awkward with Burt in the room as well. 

"Anyone want toast?" 

"Massive pile right here son," Burt laughs, and Kurt blushes slightly. 

"Right. Sorry. Didn't see it." 

"Hmm. I wonder why?" 

Kurt doesn't answer but turns his back instead, busying himself in slicing an apple which he has no intention of eating. He had heard the whole of the last part of the conversation, and he knows his dad will corner him at some point and demand an explanation. The part about Blaine not being angry had thrown him given his reaction yesterday, but the bit about him not owing Blaine anything had made him feel almost sad that he didn't. 

The thing that had got to him most of all though was Blaine's assertion that he should never be anyone's second best. He had dreamed last night, and clearly too, for the first time in months. Blaine was there, standing outside a house not dissimilar to the one they were in now, and offering his hand. Kurt had gone willingly, knowing that his dad was inside and that once the door was closed he would never have to face anyone else ever again. 

He had known, even in his dream, that he was Blaine's priority, that he belonged with him, no doubt about it. Blaine is right, he should never be anyone's second best and yet he allows himself to be, over and over. 

"Okay kids, I've got some phone calls to make," Burt announces, loading his plate into the dishwasher. "You two finish up here and meet me in the garage in ten." 

Blaine sits at the table, watching Kurt's back as he laughs. "What's funny?"

"He doesn't have phone calls. It's nine o'clock on a Sunday morning." 

"What time is your flight?" 

"I need to leave here at twelve." 

"You look good."

"I always look good," comes Kurt's automatic response, and he glances down at his outfit of tight red pants and blue shirt, pleased that Blaine likes it. He hadn't given much thought to his wardrobe when packing, and had to work with what he had.

"No you don't," Blaine argues, annoyed at Kurt's arrogance. "Yesterday you didn't look too hot, in the rain with your hair all plastered to your head." 

"Well neither did you!" Kurt cries, his chopping getting harder. 

"You still kissed me." 

"Because I...fuck!" Dropping the knife he sucks his finger into his mouth, grimacing at the metallic taste of blood. Blaine is on his feet in seconds, guiding Kurt to the sink and placing his hand under the cold stream of water. 

"Do you have band aids?" 

"Top cupboard," Kurt says with a nod, then he tries not to laugh at the leap Blaine has to take to reach. "Jeez. I'm such an idiot." 

"Coulda been worse," Blaine mumbles as he examines Kurt's finger. "Here." 

"That's it?" Kurt says, staring down at his finger. "That's all I get? Just a band aid?" 

"Um...it doesn't really need anything else," Blaine says in confusion. 

"You need to kiss it better."

"Kurt...."

He holds his finger up in front of Blaine's face, knowing full well what will happen if he feels Blaine's lips on any part of his body. "Please?" 

The finger is kissed then forgotten in favor of Blaine's hungry mouth on his, his hands sliding up into Kurt's hair as he backs them toward the corner of the cabinets. 

In his wildest dreams Kurt could never imagine being dominated by a sixteen year old boy but he lets him, responding eagerly to the feel of Blaine's tongue running over his lips. The kiss breaks briefly, but Blaine looks so completely wild with lust that Kurt tugs him in again, letting his hands move down to cup Blaine's ass and pull his groin closer. 

Blaine feels lightheaded at the speed with which all his blood rushes south, and when he feels Kurt's hardness against his own he lets his hand wander to one thigh, pulling him up to grind against him. He has no idea what he's doing, really, but he knows it feels good and if the low moan coming from Kurt is anything to go by, he feels the same. 

"Oh god," Kurt cries, breaking off with a moan. His whole body shudders when Blaine kisses his neck, biting lightly before coming up under his ear and kissing there, his breath hot and heavy over Kurt's skin. "Upstairs," Kurt pants. "Now." 

Blaine laughs softly, nuzzling his face against Kurt's neck while his right hand gently caresses his jaw. "We can't."

"We can."

"No we can't," Blaine repeats, pulling back to look at him. "Your dad said ten minutes for a start. Plus this is only the second time we've kissed so..." 

"I don't usually kiss anyone before I fuck them." 

Kurt regrets the words the moment they're out of his mouth, and Blaine steps backward immediately, dropping his hands to his side. "I'm not gonna do that, so maybe stop kissing me right now." 

"No, no, Blaine, I didn't mean that. I'm sorry, please." He follows Blaine quickly down the hall where he is stopped at the door to the garage. "Please," he repeats quietly. "Kissing you is possibly the best thing I've ever experienced. I just got carried away and scared, and when I'm scared I say stupid things." 

"Why are you scared?" 

Kurt pauses, not wanting to answer, but then Blaine takes his hand gently and brings it to his lips, keeping eye contact all the while and Kurt admits it. "I'm scared of how much I want you." 

Blaine smiles, because he's utterly elated, but then he turns serious again, letting his hands rest lightly on Kurt's hips as his gaze settles on his lips. "Think how much better it'll be when you get to have me then." 

"Oh my god," Kurt moans, and slams Blaine against the door without further delay, kissing him fiercely. "Just give me a taster," he begs. "Let me watch you come." 

"No!" Blaine pushes back, partly amused by Kurt's desperation and partly offended. "I mean it Kurt, if that's all you're after then forget it." 

"It's not I just....I can't get you out of my damn head," he says angrily thumping his forehead. "I keep trying to but I just...damn it Blaine, what are you doing to me?" 

"Kurt..." Blaine breaks off, unsure whether to ask or not, but in the end he decides to go for it. "Would you like...date me? Maybe?" 

"No." 

"Fine," Blaine huffs, embarrassed. "I'm gonna go work on Bessie." 

"I can't, Blaine, you know that." 

Blaine pauses, his hand on the door. "You can, Kurt, you just won't let yourself, that's all." 

It is a sad and sombre Blaine that trudges into the garage, so Burt decides to stay silent and wait for something to give, which it does, but he never imagined it would be Kurt. 

Nearly an hour passes when Kurt suddenly slams back the door and storms into the garage, making everyone startle. "Excuse me dad," he barks, walking right up to Blaine and glaring at him. "I'm home for Thanksgiving. One date." He whirls around again and makes to leave before thinking better of it and turning back to Blaine. "And if you call it a date I will deny all knowledge." And with that, he is gone again and Blaine sits on the nearest stool, grinning like an idiot.

"Dunno what you're smiling at," Burt grumbles. "If someone had asked me out like that I'd have slapped them. Don't let him treat you the way he treats everyone else, Blaine. You're better than that. You keep trying to tell that to Kurt, well listen to your own advice too." 

"That was progress though, right?" Blaine says happily. "I mean, he said no initially but then he changed his mind so..." 

"Hey, Blaine? Do you mind taking a look at that windshield frame? See if you think it can be salvaged. I'm just going inside to...uh...yeah." 

But Blaine's head is so full of Kurt that he doesn't notice Burt's ramblings, and focuses on the frame while Burt slips back into the house and finds Kurt upstairs, ostensibly packing but in reality sitting on the edge of his bed staring into space. 

"So," Burt starts, rocking on his heels. "Part of me feels like yelling at you, the other half of me wants to hug you, so which would you rather?" 

Standing, Kurt falls wearily into his dad's arms, relaxing for a moment before he stiffens and pulls away. "I'm so messed up." 

"No argument from me," Burt says, sitting next to him on the bed. "You really like him, don't you?" 

"Of course I do," Kurt snaps. "But it's not as simple as all that. He's here, I'm in New York. He's sixteen, I'm twenty seven..."

"Both of those are surmountable," Burt tells him. "But you can't trail him along and still be acting up with that professor of yours, Kurt. I love that kid to bits, and I won't let you hurt him." 

"Jeremy and I ended years ago," Kurt says automatically.

"Funny then, that Blaine asked me who he was this morning." 

"Ugh." 

"Just tell me," Burt urges. "Cause son, I'll sit here all day otherwise, and you won't get any time with Blaine before you leave." 

"Fine." Kurt rubs a hand over his face and leans forward, resting his hands on his knees as he speaks. "We ended when I graduated, and I didn't hear from him for six months or so. He had a new beau, some freshman, and I was in a bar one night and I saw them together. It didn't hurt, that's the weird thing. I was just annoyed that he'd gone for someone younger than me, so I proved my point by taking the freshman home." 

"Kurt!"

"He was at my apartment the next day, yelling at me and calling me all sorts, and we ended up in bed. That's how it's been ever since. We have sex all the time, but that's where it ends. He picks up these college boys and if I find out about it I go after them just to annoy him." 

"I'm disgusted," Burt snaps, standing and turning his back. "You think this is okay, Kurt? Any of it? To play with those poor boys like that? To put yourself about like that? You think that's all you're worth? He's a married man with children who goes to bars picking up college students and you let him come back to you time and again? There's a young boy downstairs floating on cloud nine because you agreed to a date with him. What do you think he'd say if he knew? Kurt....you just...I'm so disappointed in you." 

Kurt stares at the rug on his bedroom floor, trying not to cry. He doesn't tell his dad that sometimes he and Jeremy both take a guy home to share, or that it's not just college boys he goes for, it's anyone. Instead, he sits there and listens to his dad rant and rage and realizes he deserves every word. 

"Come home, Kurt," his dad is saying when he tunes back in. "Pack up and move in with me for a while, take a break from it all. I'm sure Vogue would let you work from home, right?"

"I can't do that."

"You can." 

"I can't!" Kurt cries. "I need time away from his face." 

"Blaine?" 

"Yes! He's too....I can't... I don't know how I feel or what I want, dad. When I'm around him all I want is to be with him, but then I get so angry at him for making me feel this way, and then when I'm apart from him and trying to live my life his face is always in my mind, as if he's disapproving of me all the time."

"I think you disapprove," Burt says, hitting the nail on the head. "You know exactly how wrong this all is, and yet you won't give it up, for whatever reason. You were raised better than that, Kurt. Go back to New York, behave however you want, but don't come near Blaine again until you're sure where this is all going. I mean it, I won't let you hurt him. He's fragile enough right now. He can drive you to the airport later, and before you board that plane you make sure to kiss him sweetly and tell him you're taking some time to get your head straight. Let him down gently." 

So Blaine sets off with Kurt to the airport. He's happy, overwhelmed that Burt had let him do this alone, while Kurt is laden down with sadness, knowing that he has to say goodbye and wishing he didn't. "So do I get to pick where we go on our date?" Blaine asks enthusiastically, and Kurt shrugs morosely. 

"Dunno. I might've been a bit dumb, suggesting that." 

"What? Why? You said." 

"I know, but...." 

"Okay," Blaine says, swallowing his unease. "Why don't we just see how it goes, next time you're home?"

"I'd like that," Kurt says, smiling at last. "I don't think I can promise you anything right now, Blaine." 

"I'm not asking you to." Blaine shrugs, pulling into a parking spot and turning to face him. "I won't lie. I'd love for you to declare you want to be my boyfriend and for everything to be wonderful but...if seeing how it goes is all you're able to offer right now then I'll take it." 

Kurt opens his mouth to reply, but all that comes out is a sob, and he holds his head in his hands and breaks down completely. 

"Kurt?" A panicked Blaine does his best to soothe, rubbing a firm hand over his back, but Kurt is near inconsolable, and in the end Blaine climbs into the back, tugging Kurt with him. They lie on the cramped back seat, wrapped in one another's arms right there in the airport parking lot. Blaine just lets Kurt cry. In a weird way he appreciates the beauty of this moment, of having Kurt in his arms and pressed tight against him. It's not about lust or want, it's about emotional needs and comforts being met, and there really is no better feeling than that of being held by someone who means it. 

Kurt looks up from his spot on Blaine's shoulder, his eyes red and swollen. He leans in and gives Blaine a lingering kiss on his lips. "I don't want to say goodbye to you," he admits, his voice broken and raw. 

"I'll still be here," Blaine says, offering a sad smile. "Go do whatever it is you've got to do." 

"Will you be okay though? At home? And school? I worry about you, Blaine." 

"I'd kinda forgotten," Blaine admits. His whole face falls as he thinks back to the torture of Friday. "A lot's happened since, and I've preferred to think about that instead." 

Kurt laughs softly. "I get ya. Did anyone see us last night?" 

"Mom and Spencer," Blaine tells him. "But I went up to bed and left before anyone was up this morning. It'll be tomorrow at school that I'll get it." 

"Blaine, promise me that you'll go to dad, okay? If there's trouble? Just go right there. If he's at work just go to the shop, he won't mind." 

"I promise," Blaine says seriously. "He's all I've got so..." 

“I should...”

“Yeah.”

They extricate themselves from the car carefully, and once outside it becomes awkward again. Blaine take’s Kurt’s case from the trunk and they head into the terminal without a word spoken. Blaine stands by while Kurt checks in, pretending to look up at the screens. “Gate four,” he says when Kurt arrives at his side. 

“I know. It’s always gate four,” Kurt laughs. “Nothing changes in Ohio.” 

“So...”

“So I’m gonna...” Kurt trails off with a lame gesture over his shoulder and Blaine nods, realizing that no kiss will be forthcoming. 

“I’ll see you soon,” he says quietly, turning and walking away reluctantly. 

“Blaine!”

He turns back, and is almost knocked over from the force of Kurt leaping into his arms. “You are fucking beautiful,” he declares, then captures Blaine’s lips in a gentle, loving and tender kiss which leaves them both grinning. 

“Don’t curse,” Blaine reprimands. 

“Fuck off.”

“Kiss me again.”

Kurt grins, letting his arms wind about Blaine’s neck, his fingers tangling into his hair as he inclines his head and kisses him deeply. “I really have to go.”

“I know.”

“But I really don’t want to.”

“I know that too,” Blaine grins. “But I’m telling you to fuck off.”

Kurt laughs loudly and hugs him tight. “Okay. I’m gone. I’ll see you very soon.” He blows a kiss as he slowly backs away, then turns and heads through to departures.   
Blaine practically bounces from the airport and all the way home, grinning inanely as he hands the keys back to Burt and skips across the road ready to face whatever the next week may bring.


	9. Chapter 9

Burt Hummel steps onto his porch, calling across to Blaine who is staring at his car. "Good morning!"

Blaine doesn't respond, only points at his car in confusion and Burt laughs and beckons him across the road. "My car," he says when he's close enough. "It's all clean."

"Magic cleaning fairies came and did it yesterday while you were taking Kurt to the airport." 

Blaine smiles. "Can you thank them for me?"

"Will do." Burt ruffles his hair, which he notices holds less gel than usual. "You know, you can't keep leaving for school at six every morning." 

"It's easier that way." 

"Here." Burt presses a key into his hand and jerks his head toward the house. "Use it whenever you want. Until I hear otherwise I'll expect you around this time each morning for breakfast, and though I leave at six thirty, you can stay until you need to go to school, provided you load the dishwasher for me, cause I really hate doing that." 

"I..." Blaine wants to reject the far too kind offer, but he can't. "Thank you," he says simply, his whole face lighting up. 

"Any time," he smiles. "I mean it, you know? If you need to study or just want a bit of peace and quiet, it doesn't matter if I'm not here, just let yourself in." 

"Can I come in now?" 

"Thought you'd never ask," Burt grins. "It's freezing out here." 

*

It is a much brighter Blaine who arrives at school that morning, and though he has the usual slurs shouted at him as he walks down the hallway he manages to avoid the three people he really doesn't want to see, and find the three that he does. 

"Hey man, how was your weekend?" Mike asks with concern. "We've been worried about you, and we realized none of us have your number. We thought about stopping by but then figured that might make things worse." 

"I actually wasn't there for most of it," Blaine says, grinning as he thinks back. "Actually, despite the horror that was Friday, the rest of it was pretty epic." 

He doesn't elaborate further, though he knows he will be questioned later, but for now he's happy to drift through his morning classes thinking of Kurt. 

*

Kurt Hummel lies on his bed staring at the ceiling. He doesn't even flinch when he hears Santana barging through the front door and rummaging around in his fridge. 

"You want anything?" she calls, as if it were really her apartment and not his. 

Kurt doesn't answer. He feels sick to his stomach at the thought of food, or anything else, so he just stays there, staring at the ceiling until she appears and sits next to him. 

"You okay? You don't look well." 

"I'm not." 

"Well you can't take any more time off. Is that why you wouldn't let Jeremy in last night?" 

"No, that was because he's not fucking beautiful." 

"Hmm, well I've never thought of him as a looker," Santana muses. "But I just assumed he was hung like a horse or something. I thought that was why you keep him around." 

"I don't bottom." 

"Ever?"

"Ever." 

"Oh. Well anyway, why have you decided this all of a sudden? He's looked the same the entire time you've known him." 

"He's not Blaine though, is he? He's not five eight, with dark hair that curls when it doesn't have product in it. He hasn't got the most amazing eyes I've ever seen and he doesn't hold me like he never wants to let me go." 

"Oh my god," Santana laughs, feeling his forehead. "Yeah, you really are unwell. I take it you fucked the boy then?"

"Nope."

"He sucked you off again?"

"I kissed him." 

"And?" 

"Several times, but not anywhere near enough." 

"That's it?" 

"I've never known a kiss like it," Kurt carries on morosely, still staring at the ceiling. 

"Don't be mean," Santana says, swatting his arm. "It was probably his first one." 

"It was perfect. Like....everything about it. Kissing him is like the kisses you read about in romance novels, or see in those great classic films, where the longing between the two is so great that the kiss is this great epic moment, with soaring music and then the close up pans out to this wide, sweeping shot of the couple kissing for all they're worth." 

"And you are seriously so hung up on kissing him that you wouldn't let Jeremy in for a quick fuck?" 

"Yeah." 

"Wow."

"I know." 

*

Blaine is on guard all morning, but when he does pass Simon in the hall he is ignored, even though he knows he's seen him. The same with Max and James too. At lunchtime, he dares to brave the cafeteria given the rain outside, and it would be just his luck that they join the line right behind him but there's nothing. No comments, no acknowledgement at all. It's like Blaine doesn't exist, and that suits him perfectly well. 

Settling down at a table in the far corner, he waits for the inevitable questions about Friday which come from Sam, and knowing his friends well enough by now, he fills them all in. 

Tina shakes her head sadly, tears in her eyes. "You need to take our numbers and give us yours," she says firmly. "You could have come and stayed with any one of us Blaine. I don't like the thought of you being in that house with them." 

"I stayed with Burt." 

"The car guy?" Sam asks, and Blaine gives a nod. "Is he like...I mean...isn't that a bit weird?" 

"He's a really good friend," Blaine says defensively. "He's not creepy at all. Anyway, his son was home for the weekend so..."

"He has a son?"

"Yeah. Older though. Twenty seven. He lives in New York and works as a fashion writer for Vogue." 

"Oh my god I need to meet him," Tina says excitedly. "Is he single?" 

"Tina!" Mike exclaims, then turns to his friend. "I'm glad you had somewhere to go, and I'm happy that you have such a good friend close by." 

"Thanks Mike." 

"So what about the rest of the weekend?" Tina asks. "You said it was epic, so what did you do?" 

"I went to a car auction in Tennessee," Blaine says excitedly. "And..."

"He fucking disgraced the entire family, that's what he did," Max snarls, and the whole group jumps, not having realized he was behind them. "He sucked face with some faggot in the middle of the fucking road for all to see, and now we're gonna be known as the queer house." Standing on his chair, Max calls out loudly to the packed cafeteria "If you didn't already know, Blaine Anderson is a queer! He has a boyfriend and he takes it up the ass like a girl!" 

Blaine runs. Pushing through the crowds who are already starting to laugh and look for the victim, he keeps going until he's in the gym on the farthest side of the school. He gives an angry kick to the punching bag and then stops, staring at it before punching again, and then again. 

Mike Chang finds his friend in a sweaty frenzy, hitting the life out of a punching bag with angry tears streaming down his face. "Hey, hey!" he calls, tackling Blaine around the waist and pulling him back from the bag. "If you're gonna do that at least let me teach you. And wear gloves," he says, examining Blaine's knuckles carefully. "Come on." 

He leads his friend to the sinks, where he holds his hands under the cold water for a while then dries them carefully. Heading to the lockers, he takes a towel and some toiletries from his bag and gives them to Blaine directing him toward the shower. "Take a cold one. I'll wait here to make sure no one comes in looking for you." 

Blaine is silent, but he gives a small nod and does as he's been told, emerging a few minutes later dressed in his clothes again but with no bow tie or cardigan. Mike pats the bench next to him and Blaine sits nervously, wondering if he's about to lose the only school friends he has. 

"I'm sorry for what happened," Mike says softly as they both stare at the lockers on the opposite wall. "You didn't deserve that." 

"I am gay," Blaine admits quietly. "Everything Max said was true. Well...except...I've not ever...you know. That." 

Mike shrugs. "I know you're gay. I guessed a while ago. And even if what he said was true, you still didn't deserve to be outed like that." 

"You know?" Blaine asks, shocked. "But you still talk to me." 

"Well," Mike says, turning to him and giving a wink. "I feel safer now, knowing you're not gonna steal my girlfriend. It's only Sam I have to watch." 

Blaine manages a short laugh before leaning forward and holding his head in his hands. "I think that maybe Sam won't want to be my friend anymore," he says sadly. "Because everyone will see you with Tina and then assume Sam and me...." 

"Blaine, if you really think any of us would ditch you because you're gay then you're really dumb and you don't deserve any of those AP placements. You're gay. You haven't committed a felony, or suddenly turned to hard drugs. It makes no difference to us. Tell me about this guy then, and your epic weekend." 

"It won't gross you out?" 

The only response he receives is a smack round the head, which makes him laugh, and he finds himself telling Mike everything. Not just the facts, but the way Kurt had made him feel, how he can't get him out of his head and how, although he knew he would get endless amounts of hassle for the kiss, it had all been worth it. Mike listens, nodding, or smiling until Blaine is finished, and then he turns to him. 

"You're a big ol' romantic, aren't you?" 

"Yeah I am a bit," he admits shyly. "I wish he was still here, you know? Not just cause I miss him but because I think if he was, he might agree to that date after all, and I'm pretty sure I could convince him to be my boyfriend," 

"Blaine...you don't need my lecture I'm sure but...be careful, yeah? I mean, honestly? Some of the stuff you've told me about him doesn't exactly fill me with enthusiasm." 

"I know but...I think he's really lost right now, Mike, and I feel as if maybe I'm the one who's been put on this earth to find him." 

"Dreamer," Mike teases gently. "Look, that's great if you have, but I'm just saying...prepare yourself for heartbreak, that's all. I hope it will all work out for you though, really. I also don't want your family getting at you even more for all this." 

"I think, as far as they're concerned, I just have to keep my head down. I mean, it's not that long, right? We're halfway through junior year already, then there's only one more to go. I'm gonna move to college the day after we graduate, that's for sure." 

"Do you know what you want to do?" 

"Well, I've always wanted to do something involving science," Blaine says and Mike smiles, not surprised in the slightest. "And thanks to Burt I've really gotten into the science of engines, you know? They're like....fascinating. So I don't know, something around that, maybe. Mechanical engineering?"

"I could see that suiting you."

"What about you?" 

"Medicine, I think. Kind of my pre-determined path because both my parents are doctors but...yeah. I enjoy it. I was looking at Boston, actually, as Tina wants to go to Brown." 

"I've never been outside of Ohio," Blaine admits quietly. "Well...Tennessee on Saturday. Woo." 

Mike laughs, patting him on the back. "Maybe we should take a road trip sometime? Me you and Sam. Leave Tina at home." 

"That's mean!"

"Hey! Road trips are all about freedom," Mike laughs. "Not about 'Mike! Take a left, Mike. Left!'"

Blaine laughs, getting to his feet as the bell rings. He doesn't feel awkward at all, not even when Mike hugs him, or when Sam does too in the middle of the hallway and Tina kisses his cheek. For the first time, he realizes that actually, despite the bullying, Blaine really quite enjoys school. 

*

"He's happy," Burt huffs again. "I keep telling ya."

"You're sure he's not being bullied?"

"Kurt...he has a hard time, no doubt about it, but he's here every morning before school and all weekend. He goes out with his friends, he studies hard...I don't know what else you want to know."

"That he's safe."

"I keep him that way," Burt says firmly, not letting on that Blaine often seeks refuge and sits in Burt's kitchen while he applies ice to various bruises. "Talk to him yourself if you're that concerned." 

"I don't have his number."

"I can give it to you."

"No!" Kurt cries, and Burt frowns in confusion.

"Why not?"

"Because then he'll know I've asked you for it!"

"You didn't ask, I offered. I'm sure he won't mind." 

"Daaaaad!" 

Burt smiles to himself at the rare glimpse of teenage Kurt, and suppresses a laugh as he hears him huffing on the end of the line. "Just...I don't know. Keep him in one piece for me until thanksgiving." 

"For you?" Burt asks, raising an eyebrow.

"For me." 

*

Kurt's hand moves lower, cupping Blaine through his boxers as he whimpers and begs for more. "Please, Kurt," he moans, gasping as his hand slips inside. "Oh god Kurt...."

Kurt stays silent, and it's hard for Blaine to see his face properly from the angle he's at, but it feels good....so good....

"Uh..." is all Blaine manages as a warning, rutting up into Kurt's hand as he reaches his climax, then lies there, helpless with spent desire.

It is only when the pale morning light hits his face that he wakes, face down on his bed, the covers kicked to the floor and his sheets undoubtedly damp. His own hand is trapped between his groin and the wet patch and he immediately leaps a foot backward in horror. He glances at the clock, which reads ten after five, and he figures he has enough time to change his sheets and grab a shower in peace and quiet before the house wakes. 

He leaves the sheets in a ball on his floor and the mattress bare, giving his bed time to air out before he remakes it and scurries silently down the hall to the bathroom. It is only once he's under the water that he thinks over the dream and realizes that although he couldn't see the other persons face, it was most definitely Kurt. He also knows how good it had felt, even in a dream and for the first time, he dares to imagine how it might feel for real. 

Too good for words, probably, and no doubt he would shame himself by coming the second Kurt's hand touched him, but the kisses they had shared the last time he was home had ignited a fire in him that was still burning bright nearly five weeks later. Wednesday. Kurt would be home on Wednesday, the day after tomorrow. Of course, Thursday was Thanksgiving so he wouldn't see Kurt properly until Friday, but if he was lucky he might be able to catch sight of him Wednesday night when he arrived from the airport. Or he could offer to pick him up? Yes, he thinks to himself as he towels himself dry. That's exactly what he'll do over breakfast this morning. 

He pulls up short when he arrives in his room to find Spencer waiting for him. He doesn't know why, but his blood runs cold with fear and he stands with his back to the wall, eyes darting this way and that. 

"Care to explain?" Spencer asks, his eyes flicking to the balled up sheets.

Blaine had worked hard on his confidence over the last few months, and was fairly happy with his progress, but being confronted like this, and not having any explanation makes him fall apart as his heart starts to race and he can feel his palms start to sweat. "I uh...it's um....I spilled some water," he finishes lamely, though they can both see right through the pretence. 

"When I married your mom I thought I was taking on another teenager," Spencer says, drawing himself up to his full height and staring Blaine down. "Not a toddler. She warned me about you; said you were different to most kids, shy and quiet, but I thought 'you know what? I can work with that.' I figured I'd getcha around to my way of thinking and there you'd be, thanking me for showing you the error of your ways and all that, and I'd be cheering you on in your football game but no. You don't even like sports."

"I love football," Blaine says weakly. "I just don't play." 

"You should have been born a girl, you know that? Look at you. You don't play men's sports, you don't dress like a man, yet you like 'em well enough. You're a girl. That's all. A girl who wets the bed and tries, again, to make out like it was water." 

He takes one big menacing step closer and Blaine drops his gaze immediately, wondering what it is he's going to do. "You make me sick," he says in a low voice. "And if it wasn't for your mom I'd have your faggy ass out on the streets. Don't speak to me or my boys unless you're spoken to, you hear me? You are not welcome in this house and you never will be. I want you out the second high school is finished and in the meantime you live by my rules and you play my game. You don't bring any guy into this house whether you're fucking him or not. You spend as much time away from here as possible, or shut in your room. You join us for meals and you act happy for your moms sake and whenever we're all together you grin and bear it. I won't have her miserable because of you, you little shit. We all know that if ol pops was still alive you'd be living with him and that'd be the end of it, but as it is, I have to look at your fucking ugly face for another eighteen months.   
You're gonna make your mom happy for those eighteen months by showing her that you can be a man, and you won't ever mention being queer in this house again. Wednesday after school we're driving up to Columbus for the long weekend to visit my family. You dare show me up, Blainey boy, and I'll kill you. Got it?" 

"We're going away?" Blaine asks in a voice that trembles with emotion.

"Are you deaf, Blaine? Are you a deaf girl? I told you. We leave Wednesday. Don't panic, we'll be back ready for school on Monday." 

"But we...I work on Bes....the car," he whispers, feeling like he's going to pass out very soon. 

"One weekend," Spencer suddenly growls, crowding him back against the wall. "Trust me, if I didn't have to take you, I wouldn't, but I don't trust you here on your own. Now sort your fucking bed out, little girl, then get out of my sight for the rest of the day." 

*

"I can't come over this weekend," Blaine blurts the second he's in Burt's kitchen. "I have to go to Columbus." 

"Oh," Burt says lightly. "That's a shame." 

Blaine would have liked more of a reaction, seeing as he feels like everything is crumbling around him right now, and as he reaches for the cereal he tries again. "Spencer was waiting for me in my room after my shower," he admits. "He called me a girl and told me I'm not allowed to ever mention being gay. He said I have to go to Columbus with them on Wednesday right from school, and we won't be back until Sunday night." 

"You won't see Kurt." 

"I know I won't see Kurt!" Blaine snaps, the tears evident in his voice. "I won't see anyone except mindless jocks and bullies for four whole days. If I make it back alive can I come over Monday for breakfast?" 

"You always come for breakfast, Blaine," Burt says as he stands and gathers his plates, ruffling Blaine's hair as he walks past. "I know it's not your idea of a great Thanksgiving, but it'll be over before you know it."

*

"I'm gay," Blaine announces to Sam as soon as he sees him waiting for him in the school parking lot. 

Sam shrugs as they fall into step with one another. "Cool. So, dude, can you help me with this play we're looking at in English? Something about being Earnest. I think Earnest is important, or something." 

"Yes," Blaine says quietly, shaking his head at Sam's ways. "I can help you."

"Sweet. You're the best." Flinging an arm around his shoulders, Sam pulls Blaine close and completely unashamedly kisses his cheek. Right there, in front of the school with hundreds of students milling about, he kisses his gay friend's cheek and whispers. "I don't give a damn, Blaine. You're my friend." 

"I've met someone," he says in a shaky whisper. "Only now I won't get to see him and...and I just don't know what to do anymore," he tells Sam. "I don't know how to live my life, what to do or say for the best and I...I'm so tired of feeling afraid." 

"Emergency meeting," Sam declares, pressing his car key into Blaine's hand as his tears start to fall. "Go wait in my car, I'll find Mike and Tina." 

The friends skip the entire day and spend it in Sam's empty house. Tina reacts to Blaine's admission in much the same way as the other two did, and Blaine, through a vast amount of tears, opens up about it all. The life he had with his mom and dad, how he thought his mom had been having an affair, how life had changed when Spencer arrived, all of it, right up to this mornings confrontation. He tells them about Kurt too, though he is too embarrassed to tell them how they first met- he starts their story from the first meeting in Burt's kitchen. In the end he feels better. Not great, but better, and Tina gives him a big hug before squeezing his hand sadly. 

"I wish you could come to my house for Thanksgiving," she tells him, feeling as if she might cry at any moment. "But we have a whole houseful." 

"And I'm in Chicago," Mike adds. 

"I'm in Kentucky," Sam says, biting his lip. "But I'll call you, like, every day, I promise." 

"It's okay, you guys," Blaine says, managing a smile. "To be honest, it's made worse because I know Kurt will be home but...hey, I'll get through it. Thank you, though. Today has meant so much to me. It's so good to know I have friends." 

"You'll always have us," Mike declares, raising his soda can in a toast. "Forever." 

*

Wednesday arrives surprisingly quickly; the school day vanishes in no time and before Blaine is really aware, he's trudging out to the parking lot with a well meaning but nagging Tina by his side. "Call us. Text us. You have to promise, Blaine. I'll panic otherwise, and then I'll annoy Mike by calling him and...who the hell is that by your car?" 

Blaine looks up, his whole face softening before breaking out into a wide grin. "Kurt," he breathes. 

"And I'm disappearing," Tina chuckles, rubbing a hand over his back. "Speak soon." 

Blaine feels like the short walk to his car takes forever. He wants to run, but he also doesn't want to appear too completely excited given that he's unlikely to have more than ten minutes with him. Eventually he's there, and Kurt looks so good in his navy peacoat with cream scarf, his breath coming in little white clouds, that Blaine wants to kiss him right there and then, but he's not really sure of the etiquette for greeting someone whom you've shared passionate kisses with, but who is not a boyfriend. 

"Hold me," Kurt commands softly, and Blaine drops his bag and opens his arms. Kurt seems to sag against him, and Blaine isn't sure which one of them needs the affection more. They hug for the longest time, until they relax and Kurt pulls back slightly. They don't kiss, but Kurt nuzzles against Blaine's jaw for a sweet second, and Blaine is more than happy with that. 

"I'm going away for the weekend," Blaine says sadly, not wanting to look Kurt in the eye. "I won't see you. I won't be back." 

"You're staying with us, Blaine," Kurt whispers, gently lifting his chin with one finger. "Did you really think dad would let you disappear for four days straight? Get in the car. You're spending Thanksgiving with the Hummels."


	10. Chapter 10

"I got an earlier flight," Kurt says as he drives Blaine's car home. "Dad dropped me off at the school. I wanted to be the one to tell you." 

Blaine sits stunned, not really able to take in the fact that not only does he not need to suffer mental torment for the next four days, he also gets four whole days with the Hummels. Four days and nights. 

"Yes, Blaine," Kurt laughs. "Four days and nights." 

"My mom didn't mind?" Blaine asks, twisting in his seat and not noticing his inner voice had spoken once more.

"I'm assuming not," Kurt says lightly, and drives on.

He knows she didn't mind, of course, because Burt had told him. The second Blaine had left for school on Monday morning, Burt had been across the road like a shot. Knocking on the door he waited, dismayed when Spencer answered. 

"Morning," he said politely, and Spencer nodded in return. "So Blaine tells me you have plans for Thanksgiving," he started, feeling a little nervous. "And I was just wondering if maybe you'd rather Blaine stayed here with me for the long weekend. I mean..."

"Okay," Spencer shrugged. "Angie!" he called over his shoulder. "Hummel said Blaine can stay with him for the weekend." 

"Oh thank goodness!" had come the reply. "That will be so much better. At least we can relax without worrying about him being miserable. Thanks, Mr. Hummel." 

"No worries," Burt had muttered. "I'll pick him up from school on Wednesday." 

"Good," Spencer nodded, then closed the door and carried on with his day. 

*

Seeing Blaine again makes Kurt feel like he can breathe. As if for the past five weeks he's been suffocating under some invisible pressure and suddenly, as soon as his face comes into view, it lifts. The strangest thing for Kurt in all of this, and the bit he can't fathom no matter how hard he tries, is that the longing and need is not entirely sexual. 

He wants him, for sure, and when he casts a sideways glance and catches Blaine biting his lip in anticipation of the weekend, his stomach lurches in the best possible way, but when he had first seen him, instead of dragging him into a fierce kiss, all he had managed to utter was "hold me," and what was that all about?

"What's what about?" Blaine asks, and Kurt frowns.

"Huh?"

"You said what's that all about." 

"I didn't."

Blaine laughs softly, "You did." 

"I did not," Kurt snaps, embarrassed and annoyed. "It's you who talks out loud when he's thinking, not me." 

"But I'm adorable," Blaine says smugly and Kurt laughs, pulling into the driveway and killing the engine. 

"Yes you are." 

"Inside!" Burt booms from the porch, and Kurt pulls away reluctantly. 

"He's gonna be on our case all weekend," Kurt mutters, letting his hand wander over and squeeze Blaine's thigh, smiling when Blaine stares at his hand and swallows hard. 

"I don't....I don't think I mind that," Blaine whispers. "I think that could be quite fun." 

"Kinda my thought too," Kurt admits. 

"Inside!" Burt booms again, and this time they both laugh. 

"What D'you think dad, that I'm gonna seduce him in the driveway?"

"That's exactly what I think," Burt nods, bypassing Kurt and hugging Blaine tight. "Happy?"

"Very," Blaine says into his shoulder. "Thank you so much." 

"Well, I'm kinda used to you being around," Burt says, still not letting go. "Feels like you're part of the family." 

Blaine doesn't reply, because he can't, and when they both pull back from the hug decidedly misty eyed, Kurt lounges in the doorway, watching. "Inside!" he shouts, pointing down the hallway, and Burt laughs. 

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He draws up short at the sight of Spencer coming out of his house to load suitcases into the trunk. "Hey Blaine, you wanna go over and say goodbye?" 

"Um, I suppose I should," Blaine starts, watching as the three boys clamber into Simon's car and drive away, but Angie beats him to it, giving a cheery wave across the street. 

"Bye, honey! See you Sunday. Key's under the mat for you to collect your stuff. Have fun!" 

"Oh," Blaine says, watching as they drive away. "Well then." He shrugs, turning back to Burt who notices that he doesn't even look sad about the dismissal anymore. "I'll go get my stuff then come over, if that's okay." 

"Sure," Burt nods, stopping Kurt with a firm hand on his chest. "He doesn't need your help, sunshine. Not in an empty house. Inside." 

Blaine is back quickly, carrying a large duffle bag which Burt takes from him. "So I put you in the basement," he says, opening a door which Blaine has never been through before. "Not because you're not welcome, but because those stairs creak like an old woman, so I'll hear the predator if he tries to make his way down there in the night."

"Hey!" Kurt objects loudly. "I'm not a predator!"

"Aw my son," Burt says with a wide smile. "Your sense of humor is back. How nice." 

Kurt laughs in spite of himself and heads to the kitchen while Blaine takes the stairs down to the vast basement. "It's huge!"

"Ha! It's okay I guess. I promise not to set the washing machine going when you're trying to sleep. So. It's a pull out couch but it's super comfortable, and you have your own bathroom. For gods sake lock the door though. Kurt has no boundaries." 

"Are you joking or...?"

"Partly," Burt shrugs, running a hand over his head. "He likes you a lot, Blaine. I can't figure out if I'm happy about that or not, but I know he's very smitten. Stand your ground though. If you let Kurt take what he wants he'll lose interest. I think part of why he likes you so much is because you're different to all the other guys. You have morals and you're not afraid to state your opinions on Kurt's behavior. He's never come up against that before and I think it intrigues him and makes him want to be a better person for you." 

"I want him to be a better person for himself though," Blaine says with a frown. "He can't do it just to please me. I mean, I like him a lot, and I have like...a lot of fun with him when he's feeling happy but then he has these moments where..."

"He's an ass?" 

"Exactly. Like just now with the predator thing? He laughed, but it could have gone either way, you know? I don't want to be with someone when I spend the whole time wondering where I stand. We said we would see how it goes over Thanksgiving and the holidays, well I guess we've got four days in each other's company to find out." 

"You have," Burt nods. "Just keep sex out of it, please." 

Blaine flares red and breaks into a cold sweat, mumbling something completely incoherent which makes Burt laugh. "Okay, I've embarrassed ya, and I'm not your dad anyway, it's not my place to lecture you. Come up when you're ready. Kurt's cooking tonight and we'll all pitch in for dinner tomorrow." 

"Burt?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you, again. I was dreading Thanksgiving anyway, and then when Spencer told me we were going away.... But you made it so much better." 

"You know not to listen to him, right?" Burt asks with concern, but Blaine drops his gaze and Burt comes to him again, resting a hand on his shoulder. "Being gay doesn't make you a girl. Not that there's anything wrong with being a girl, but you're a guy through and through. Even really effeminate guys aren't girls, and I hate that he's tried to put you down like that. Never be ashamed of who you are, cause you're pretty damn spectacular. What's more, the whole bed thing..."

"It wasn't... I didn't wet the bed," Blaine interrupts. "I had um..."

From the color of his face Burt catches on and gives a nod. "Well, I'm sorry you don't live in a more understanding house, kid, but you're always welcome here, just remember that." 

Blaine takes a bit of time out, needing to digest and get his head around everything. Have fun, his inner voice is telling him. Enjoy this freedom and enjoy spending time with your two favorite people. 

He balks a little at this, but then realizes it's true. This is where he belongs. Whether a relationship with Kurt lies on the horizon or not, he feels part of the Hummel family, and he thinks that while his dad would be sad for the way his mom had changed, he would be happy Blaine belonged somewhere and was loved. 

His relationship with his mom was almost non existent now, to the point that her driving away like that really didn't bother him. Maybe he should feel sad, but in all honesty he doesn't. She wasn't unkind, necessarily, she still called him honey or sweetie, but she wanted him to fit where he never would, to be someone that he wasn't meant to be and if he couldn't do that well then, Angie Lane wasn't interested. 

The Hummels, however, were. 

Bounding up the stairs, he arrives in the kitchen happy and cheerful, even more so when he sees the way Kurt's face lights up. "Hey you," Kurt says coyly, glancing over his shoulder to check his dad's arrival isn't imminent. "Come here and taste." 

Blaine goes over to the stove eagerly, even being so bold as to slide his hands around Kurt's waist. "Are you referring to the food, or you?" 

"Whatever you damn well choose," Kurt smiles. 

Blaine leans past him, dipping a finger into the sauce on the stove and sucking it into his mouth. "It's good," he says, then makes to turn away, but Kurt reaches out and grabs him by the bicep. 

"Oh no you...Oooh, have you been working out?" Kurt asks, flirting for all he's worth. "You're all buff."

Blaine goes suddenly shy, rubbing the back of his neck and ducking his head. "My..uh...my friend, Mike. He's teaching me how to use a punching bag." 

"Really? That's...that's hot," Kurt says, biting his lip. "Do you like...do that shirtless?"

Blaine laughs and shakes his head. "No I do not. It's not like that. I do it to take out some of my aggression, and so I can defend myself if needed."

"Defend...wait, what?" Kurt asks in surprise. "Dad said you were happy. He lied to me?"

"You asked about me?"

"Of course I asked about you, Blaine," Kurt snaps angrily. "You're on my mind all the time."

"You could have called me," Blaine points out, amused by his annoyance. 

"I didn't have your number."

"You could've asked your dad for it."

"Not you too!" Kurt cries. "I don't ask for people's numbers. Now sit there," he says, dragging a stool to the counter. "And tell me everything that's been going on." 

Blaine is still talking when three steaming hot plates of pasta are set on the table and Burt has arrived. He's still talking when Kurt pulls garlic bread from the oven and he's still talking when Burt hands him a glass of water but when he's finished, he feels better than he ever has, and both men are looking at him with admiration in their eyes. 

"I'm sorry for you," Kurt says at last, "but I can see dad was right. You are happy, and I'm glad." 

"I am. I mean, I feel that in a way, I shouldn't be, but I also feel that if I stick with being sad, with letting them get to me, then they win, don't they?" 

Kurt leans on his elbow, his dinner forgotten as he rests his chin on his hand and gazes at Blaine, completely mesmerized. Burt notices, of course, but says nothing. Having spoken with Blaine earlier he can see he's in the right place regarding all of this, so he figures he'll let them get on with things while the going is good. 

"You're..." Kurt starts, then stops himself before he can call Blaine beautiful once more. "Your dinner," he says instead. "Is it okay?" 

"It's really good," Blaine says with a smile. Under the table he lets his hand wander surreptitiously until he finds Kurt's knee. "Really good." 

By the late evening the tension is palpable. Burt decides to give in and feigning tiredness, announces he's heading up to bed. "I expect you to be in your bed when I wake up," he says, pointing at Kurt. "Alone." 

"Blaine you'll have to get dressed and sneak back downstairs before seven," Kurt deadpans, giving a yelp when Burt clips him around the back of the head. 

"You’re out of luck," Blaine quips in return. "I'm looking forward to sleeping a whole night without fear of something happening to me in the night. I'm turning in too." 

"What?" Kurt cries helplessly. "You are kidding me, right? I mean, that has to be a joke." 

Blaine shrugs, standing and stretching his arms above his head. "No joke." 

"But you... Dad, will you go away please?" Kurt snaps, and his dad laughs and leaves the room. 

"Kurt Hummel doesn't get his own way," he calls as he heads up the stairs. "Shocker. Night boys!"

"Please stay up with me for a little while?" he asks Blaine quietly when he hears Burt close his door. "Just let me...." 

"Kurt, I want to let you do whatever you want to me."

"Really?"

"Yeah but I can't," Blaine adds quickly. "Which is why I think I should go to bed. Some things are worth waiting for and..."

"We said we would see how it goes, right?"

"Yeah. Tonight has been fun, but I need to take it slow." 

"Okay." Kurt nods reluctantly, folding his arms across himself. "I get that. I mean, you're young...."

"I don't want you to get bored and end up going to Scandals," Blaine admits fearfully, but Kurt surprises him, stepping forward and letting his arms slide over his shoulders. 

"I don't often make promises," Kurt whispers. "But for the next four days, I'm all yours, and I can promise you that." 

"Thank you." Closing his eyes in relief, Blaine lets his forehead rest against Kurt's cheek for a brief moment. "I'm not that guy who went down on you in my car that night. I wanted to prove something to you, and to me, that I wasn't afraid, maybe? That I wasn't a kid? I don't know. But I'm terrified," he admits. "So scared."

"You're not the only one," Kurt says softly, then finds his lips in the most gentle of kisses. "Goodnight, Blaine. I'll see you in the morning." 

*

"What did you do to Blaine?" Burt asks the second Kurt arrives in the kitchen the next morning.

"Kissed him goodnight and sent him on his way, why?" 

"Because it's nearly nine and he's still sleeping. Are you sure you weren't down there with him?"

"I'm sure," Kurt maintains, looking in the fridge. "And if you keep on with that I'm gonna get cranky with you." 

"You're always cranky."

"Seriously dad, I am not about to rape Blaine."

"You wouldn't have to, that's my point," Burt sighs, picking up his coffee mug. "He'd go willingly."

"Well we discussed things last night, so we know where we are."

"And where's that?"

"Seriously dad, will you butt out?" Kurt cries. "I'm nearly twenty eight!"

"I know that, but I can't stay out of it, for Blaine's sake. He doesn't have anyone else to look out for him, Kurt. He's my boy and I can't have anyone hurting him." 

"I'm your boy too," Kurt mutters angrily, breaking eggs into a bowl. "Your real one. You might like to remember that before you start warning your surrogate son against me." 

"You are my boy," Burt agrees, coming over to the counter. "And let me tell you something. You're going a long way to making me proud of you again. But your actions can't stop in Ohio. This Kurt, the one that comes home to see a certain brown eyed boy, is wonderful. This Kurt is infatuated and treats Blaine with the respect he deserves. But the Kurt in New York doesn't respect anyone, least of all himself, and that hurts me and worries me for Blaine's sake. You think I'm being down on you, I get that, and maybe I am. But that's only because I can see when you're happiest, and your happiness is all I've ever wanted." 

"And what if my happiness isn't with Blaine in the end?" 

"I'd be sad," Burt shrugs, "but it wouldn't be the end of the world. As long as you two were comfortable with both of you being in my life, I'd be happy." 

"I don't ever see myself settling down."

"I know that," Burt says sadly. "I've given up on that. I figure that was always my dream, but it doesn't mean it has to be yours, right?"

"His eyes aren't brown, anyway. They're just...everything." 

Burt chuckles and takes the bowl of eggs from Kurt's hands, setting them on the counter. "C'mon, give me a hug."

"I don't hug." 

"You do." 

Burt holds him tight, happy when Kurt's arms come around him and hug him back. "I love you, Kurt. There's room in my heart for both of you, you know that?"

"I know."

"You're the original and still the best," Burt says gruffly, kissing into his hair. "My baby boy."

"Get off."

"Nope." 

"I was about to cook you breakfast." 

"Oh well, in that case," Burt lets go quickly, laughing when Kurt stumbles. "Seriously though, why is he still asleep?"

"He's a teenager, and as he said, he could sleep without worrying. I expect he'll sleep like a baby." 

"Kurt? Would it be okay if I invited him to spend Christmas with us?"

"I assumed you would." 

"I wasn't going to," Burt tells him. "But then when his parents seemed so blasé about him coming here this weekend, I figured I'd ask. I mean, why not?"

"He'll be happier here anyway. Okay, I'm gonna cook this up now. I expect he'll be awake by the time it's done." 

But Blaine sleeps on, even through Burt yelling down the stairs three times. Eventually Kurt takes himself down there, after Burt reasons he can't, just in case he sleeps naked.

"What makes you think it's okay for me to go down there then?" 

"Kurt, though not ideal, at least you want to see that. I don't. Now go get him." 

It turns out Blaine doesn't sleep naked. He does sleep shirtless though, and Kurt spends quite a while standing on the second to last stair just looking at him. 

Sprawled on his back like a starfish, the covers tangled in his feet, Blaine looks like some kind of god, Kurt decides. His head is turned to the right, and his hair is completely wild. Kurt is shocked at the dark stubble that covers his face and realizes how close Blaine must shave every day. The boxing has paid off, Kurt assumes, as his chest is defined, with a smattering of dark hair over it that trails off into a line that moves lower. Kurt lets his eyes take in the trim waist and jutting hip bones, but he tries to ignore the bulge in the front of his gray pajama pants. It's not easy though, and it's only when he finds himself licking his lips that he forces himself to move before Blaine wakes up to see him standing there salivating over him. 

"Blaine?" 

"I'm awake!" Blaine's whole body jumps as he becomes instantly alert, scrambling to sit upright, hugging his knees to his chest. "I'm...oh." He stops, uncurling himself with a sheepish smile. "I thought..."

That's all he gets out before Kurt's mouth is on his, kissing with more force and passion than yesterday. "I haven't brushed my teeth!" Blaine objects, but Kurt kisses him again, opening his mouth a little wider, kneeling on the bed by the side of him. Blaine responds, his one hand cupping the back of Kurt's neck as the other holds himself upright, but when he feels Kurt's tongue brush against his own it's like the floodgates open, and he falls back against the pillows tugging Kurt on top of him. 

Kurt can't resist letting his hands wander up Blaine's sides as their kissing becomes more heated. He's tempted to do more, he wants so much from this young man beneath him, and it only gets worse when Blaine wraps one leg around his waist, rubbing his arousal against the rough denim of Kurt's jeans. 

One of his hands settles on the waist of Blaine's pajamas, and it would be so easy for him to let it slip inside right now, but he pulls back with a gasp, kissing under Blaine's jaw before forcing himself to slow. "Breakfast is ready," he says weakly, and Blaine gives a little laugh. 

"That's like...the best way to wake up. Kiss me again?" 

Kurt does so, but it's softer, his lips more tender and loving as they move gently against Blaine's own. "I hope you'll wake up in my arms some day." 

"What?" 

"Nothing! Nothing! Breakfast is ready, that's all." 

"I heard you."

"Good," Kurt says briskly, climbing off the bed and heading toward the stairs. 

"Not about breakfast, the other part." 

"I didn't say anything!" Kurt calls, marching up the stairs quickly, and Blaine falls back on the bed, laughing. 

"Whatever!" he calls back. "You so did. Happy Thanksgiving!"


	11. Chapter 11

Kurt can't remember the last time he let loose and had as much fun as this, but here he is, lying the opposite end of the couch to his dad, tossing pistachios to him as Burt tries to catch them in his mouth, and then they switch. 

Blaine sits on the floor keeping count, but he's blatantly biased toward Burt, which makes Kurt turn and throw a nut at him every so often. Trouble is, Blaine is truly gifted in the art of catching pistachios in his mouth. It's like he's been trained, and he smugly dives across and catches another one, winking at Kurt as he chews. 

"I hate you," Kurt laughs. "Here." 

"No more," Blaine moans, "I can't. I've eaten so much today."

"We did notice."

"Thanks." 

"Says the man who had three pieces of pie," Burt cries, kicking Kurt's ankle. 

"Hey! So what? You had nearly the whole turkey."

"Did not!"

Kurt picks up a nut and throws it, satisfied when it ricochets of Burt's head. "Did." And the silliness starts all over again. 

It's too easy, Kurt thinks to himself, casting a glance at Blaine as he shifts to lie on his front on the rug, his legs kicking up behind him. It's too easy to get sucked into this homey life back in Ohio, to be Blaine's boyfriend. He could move back home today. Live with his dad until Blaine was ready to move out, then they could rent a tiny apartment together while Blaine went through college and Kurt worked. He could propose to Blaine on his twenty first birthday, then a few years after that they could give their dad the grandchild he's always dreamed of. 

He pulls up short, distracting himself with catching the pistachios his dad throws his way before returning to his thoughts once more. Would it really be that hard? To quit New York and give in, to be the man everyone wants him to be? The one people are convinced is still buried somewhere underneath, lying dormant since high school? 

It wouldn't, but would it be right? Could Kurt honestly lay his heart on the line like that? What if halfway through college, Blaine decided this wasn't what he wanted? What if his head was turned by someone his own age, who wanted to be out drinking,dancing and having fun, while Kurt was at home in his thirties, working double shifts to make rent? 

What if Kurt hurt him?

What if, five years down the line, Kurt needed to remember how it felt to be wanted by a stranger? What if he needs the thrill of the chase and the conquest to keep him satisfied? What would it be like to be trapped in a relationship with the same person on a long term basis? 

There's too much risk, Kurt decides, letting his fear and panic overrule his heart. Too much at stake, too much to lose, too much potential for heartbreak, and he can neither have his heart broken, nor be the one that breaks Blaine's. 

"I'm going upstairs," he announces suddenly, leaping from the couch and tearing from the room.

"Hey!" Burt calls after him. "Just cause I'm winning!"

"I'm bored of your game," Kurt yells angrily. "It's dumb. All of it!" 

"Here he goes again," Burt mumbles.

Blaine sits up straight, fiddling with a small hole in his socks. "Should one of us go after him?"

"Nah. Leave him be. He'll come around when he's ready. I don't think this is easy on him, being this happy." 

"Why though? It's easy for me. Doesn't everyone want to be happy?" 

"Kurt makes things hard on himself," Burt sighs, reaching down to ruffle Blaine's hair. "Try not to worry too much, son. I've a feeling he'll get there in the end. Think how far he's come since you two met six months ago, huh?" 

"I guess," Blaine says slowly, but his voice is still heavy with sadness. 

"Come on, lets watch the parade," Burt declares, patting the couch next to him. "I recorded it earlier and I didn't even need any help setting it up." 

It takes an hour but Kurt does reappear, warmed by the sight of his dad and Blaine sitting side by side watching tv. He doesn't say anything, but sets an old and battered monopoly set on the coffee table and sits in the armchair. 

"I'm the race car," Burt says after a while.

"Battleship," Blaine says, and Kurt smiles, kneels on the floor and opens the box. 

*

"You're cheating!" Blaine cries, laughing so hard he can barely breathe. "Now gimme my two hundred dollars!" 

"Nope!" Kurt holds the bills high above his head, his other hand pushing Blaine back by the forehead as he tries to grab at them. "I need them more than you do."

"Do not!"

"Do!"

Blaine tries again but his efforts are futile, so he pouts instead, making Burt laugh and clap his hands. "Oh Kurt! He looks like a little puppy! Take pity on him and give him his two hundred dollars, I can't bear to look." 

"I'll kiss you instead?" Kurt offers, laughing when Blaine shakes his head.

"Nope. I want my money, and now I'm sad." 

Kurt straightens up primly. "Fine," he says haughtily. "No kisses, no money, and I don't even care if I did land on your plot. You shouldn't be a show off and put so many hotels on it." 

Play carries on to Burt, and Blaine notices Kurt keeps the money in his fist. The second he's distracted, Blaine pounces, pinning Kurt to the floor, snatching the two hundred dollars and kissing his lips quickly. "Let me take you out tomorrow," he whispers, his face inches from Kurt's.

And Kurt looks up in surprise before grinning widely. "Yes." 

*

When Blaine is woken at five in the morning, he doesn't even care that it's Kurt who is doing the waking. "Go away," he moans into his pillow. "It's stupidly early." 

"It's Black Friday."

"What's that got to do with anything?" 

"Shopping."

"So go shopping," he says, giving a dismissive wave of his hand. "I'll still be here when you get back." 

"I wanted you to come with me," Kurt pouts, giving Blaine's shoulder a little kiss. "Please?" 

"No." 

"Please?" Kurt tries again, and this time he drapes himself over Blaine's back, letting his hands slide around to his chest. 

"Have you got a shirt on?" 

"No I haven't," Kurt breathes into his ear. "Cause I can't stop thinking about what it would be like to feel your skin against mine." 

Blaine's breathing stutters and he gives a soft whimper, reaching around to run one hand through Kurt's hair. "And what does it feel like?" 

"Heaven." 

Kurt is in pajamas, Blaine realizes that when he feels him slowly growing hard against his crack, and unable to hold out any longer, he turns underneath him, tugging Kurt into a deep kiss, letting their erections rub together as he bucks up underneath him. 

"Holy shit!" Kurt gasps, wanting and needing so much more but also never wanting this feeling to end. 

"Kurt," Blaine moans, throwing his head back and letting him kiss into the hollow of his throat. "Kurt touch me, please, I'm begging you." 

"Blaine...I want to." He breaks off, kissing along Blaine's collarbone in desperation. "I so want to but...." 

"Anything," Blaine begs, rutting up under him once more. "I'll let you do anything." 

"No." 

Forcing himself to roll away, Kurt takes a second to catch his breath before looking at Blaine and realizing how he's hurt him. "Blaine...my sweetheart....I want everything from you, I do," he says, kissing the backs of Blaine's hands which cover his face. "But we haven't even had our first date." 

"Since when has that stopped you?" Blaine snaps, taking his hands away and giving Kurt an accusatory glare. "You pick up one night stands all the time. You told me you don't date." 

"It matters with you." 

"Why? Because I'm a kid?” 

"Because you're worth everything!" Kurt rages, angrily climbing from the bed and throwing a pair of chinos his way. "If you want to join me I leave in ten." 

While Blaine is happy with the compliment, and getting called sweetheart, he's also mad, and Kurt gets the force of it when he gets in the car fifteen minutes later.

"Be nice," he barks at Kurt, who pauses halfway through reversing.

"Excuse me?" 

"You wanna compliment me then do it. Stop being so backhanded all the time. Literally every time you say anything that could hold a bit of meaning you follow it up by either storming off or saying something hurtful. I like you, you like me. It's okay to admit it, Kurt. I'm not gonna hold you hostage until you propose marriage, or break down your door if you ever look at another guy. We're just finding our way in all this, and that's fine, that suits me, as long as I'm not expected to sit there and take your insults just because you're scared. Now, I'll come shopping with you, and we will just go as friends. While we're out, think long and hard about whether you want to go on this date tonight, because it's my first one, and I don't want it to turn into a sparring match. You can give me your answer when we get home." 

It's almost comical, the way in which Blaine folds his arms and turns to look out the window, but Kurt is so stunned by all Blaine has said that he passes no comment, just drives to the mall in silence, and waits until he shuts the engine off to face him again. "I'm sorry. You're right. I am scared and I take that fear out on you by being a jerk." 

"Thank you," Blaine says, giving a curt nod. "Now let's go shopping." 

Kurt is somewhat alarmed by how Blaine can seemingly switch off the attraction to him in favor of pointing out bargains in the shops and neatly ducking and weaving through hordes of shoppers to grab the last pair of red Gucci loafers in Kurt's size. 

"You're amazing!" Kurt laughs, reaching for Blaine's hand, but all he gets in response is a wink.

"I know," Blaine grins, then neatly sidesteps another crowd to pick up a shirt. He takes a glance at the price tag, grimaces, then sets it back. 

"You should get that." 

"It's still two hundred bucks." 

"But it would suit you," Kurt says, holding up the pale blue shirt with red pinstripe.

"I don't have two hundred bucks to spend on a shirt," Blaine says matter-of-factly. "Twenty, maybe, but not two hundred. I'm a school kid." 

"I remember that well," Kurt says, enjoying the way they fall into easy conversation as he browses the rack of pants. "My dad used to buy me one designer item each Christmas and birthday, which is fine, but since my birthday is in November, it always seemed a long time to wait until the following year. The rest of the time I hunted eBay or thrift stores." 

"My dad used to buy all my stuff," Blaine tells him as he follows behind. "Brooks Brothers, mainly. Or J Crew. I bought myself some stuff back in the summer, but I'm not working now so..."

"Doesn't your mom give you an allowance?" 

"Um, no. She gives me gas money, but that's it. I'm living off my savings from my summer job. But you know what? Mike said Target needs holiday cover, so I might try there." 

"You can't work at Target, Blaine." 

"Why not?"

"Because you just can't. You're too good for Target." 

"There's nothing wrong with Target! If they're gonna pay me money...." 

"There's a Brooks Brothers here," Kurt suggests. "You could ask if they're hiring?"

"Maybe," Blaine shrugs, suddenly embarrassed to be discussing his finances in front of Kurt, who must earn plenty from working at Vogue. "I'll come back one day next week." 

"You wanna get lunch?" Kurt asks suddenly, taking Blaine by surprise. 

"It's not even ten." 

"Brunch?" 

"I guess," Blaine laughs. "I could do with some coffee, anyhow." 

"Cool. Head down to the food court," he says, handing him a twenty, "while I pay. Grab a couple of coffees and I'll have an almond croissant. Get whatever you want." 

"Kurt, I don't need money." 

"Oh hush," he says, shooing him away. "Consider it your fee for accompanying me." 

Blaine seems to wait forever for Kurt to arrive, but he does eventually, and proudly drops a bag into his lap before taking his seat opposite. 

"What's this?" 

"Take a look," Kurt says, trying to hide his grin behind his coffee cup. 

Blaine looks inside to see the two hundred dollar shirt folded neatly and he quickly hands the bag back, frowning. "Thanks, but I can't accept that." 

"What? Why? You said you liked it."

"I do, but that doesn't mean I was expecting you to buy it for me." 

"I know you weren't expecting me to, Blaine, I wanted to, that's all." 

"Friends don’t buy each other two hundred dollar shirts," Blaine says, setting the bag on the floor when Kurt won't take it. "Friends might buy each other brunch," he continues, becoming more and more upset, "Or the occasional small gift but not shirts that cost two hundred fucking dollars!" 

"I hate it when you curse," Kurt says softly, and it is this admission which seems to tip Blaine over the edge. 

"You don't get it, Kurt! You can't treat me the way you do and then present me with something like that to make it all okay again! I said we were here as friends and I meant it. Just...just...ugh!" he cries, throwing his hands up in despair. He scrapes his chair back and stands, collecting his coffee cup. "You are so incredibly frustrating! I'm ready to go when you are. I'll wait by the car." 

Kurt Hummel doesn't like being told what to do. He also doesn't like abandoning shopping on Black Friday until there are absolutely no more bargains to be had, and yet his feet carry him out to the parking lot to find Blaine, who he thinks at first has disappeared but is in actual fact sitting on the cold damp ground, leaning against the front passenger door. "Get up," Kurt says, offering his hand, and Blaine takes it to stand. "I'm sorry if I offended you," Kurt says sincerely. "That was never my intention so...yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't buy it to try and make amends, I just wanted you to have it....mainly for my own selfish reasons."

Blaine doesn't reply, just raises one questioning eyebrow. 

"I thought you'd look really good in it," Kurt continues. "And I wanted to make you smile, because your smile is...um...beautiful," he finishes with a blush.

"Friends don't call each other beautiful." Blaine grouches. 

"I want to be more than a friend to you." 

"What do you want to be then, Kurt?" 

"I don't know," he sighs. "I thought we were supposed to be figuring that out together?" 

"I've been a bit of jerk, haven't I?" Blaine laments sadly. "After it was going so well." 

"Well if we're keeping score...I'm probably still way ahead of you," Kurt says, giving him a playful nudge. "Come on."

"Where we going?" 

"Dunno," he shrugs. "We could go home and make out? Dad will be at work." 

Blaine laughs but shakes his head. "Not until I've gotten an answer from you." 

"Yes, Blaine," Kurt says, crowding him back against the car, his hands coming to rest at either side of his shoulders. "I do want to go out with you tonight. I'm sorry if my behavior led you to think otherwise. I'm also sorry for always snapping at you when you've done nothing to deserve it. I promise to try really hard to be nice, okay?" 

"Okay," Blaine smiles. "I'm sorry for being rude when you were only trying to give me a gift for purely selfish reasons." 

Kurt laughs loudly and makes to kiss him, but Blaine places a firm hand on his chest to hold him back. "I now accept your gift," he carries on. "Because I have a really hot date tonight, and I want to impress him." 

"Hmm." Kurt turns flirtatious, letting his fingers walk slowly up the zipper of Blaine's coat and then dip into the collar to feel his soft skin under his scarf. "Will your hot date get to take it off you later?" 

"That...um...it's....uh....first date," he blurts, biting his lip and willing himself not to get hard from the sound of Kurt's voice. "That's pretty forward for a first date, isn't it? It is, I think. I'm sure my dad told me I have to respect the other guy and...." 

"I'm messing with you, Blaine." 

"Oh. Yeah. I knew that," Blaine says, but he lets his head fall back in relief. 

"What's sex like?" he asks as Kurt drives home. 

"I'm not answering that." 

"Please?" 

"It's good. End of discussion." 

"What's your number?" 

"Uh-uh. No way!" Kurt flares. "You know it's high, you're not dumb, now leave it, Blaine. I mean it. You want a sure fire way to piss me off? Well this is it." 

"I meant phone number." 

"Oh." 

There is a long silence, while Kurt manoeuvres out onto the highway and settles into the busy traffic, then he casts a glance across to Blaine. "Sorry. I thought..."

"You said discussion over, so I changed the subject." 

"I did, you're right. Sorry, again. Here," he says, tossing his phone into Blaine’s lap. "Put your number in then call yourself so I'll have yours." 

"You don't mind?" 

"I've wanted your number for ages," Kurt admits. "I just didn't want to ask." 

"You're weird." 

"Whatever." 

"And that's your best comeback, so you know you're weird." 

"You're sexy."

"Yeah," Blaine says with a straight face. "I know." 

Kurt throws his head back and laughs, which is quickly becoming Blaine's favorite sight. "You can't say that!" 

"At least I can admit to my flaws." 

"Being sexy is not a flaw!" 

"It is. It distracts you from being an asshole, which must irritate you immensely." 

"Sometimes I'm torn between throwing my hands up and walking away, or pinning you down and fucking you into the middle of next week," Kurt admits, but that is where the easy banter ends and he curses inwardly as Blaine stiffens and looks out the window. 

“Blaine...”

“Is that all I’m worth?”

“No! I was just trying to make a joke, and it backfired.”

“You know I’m not...”

“Not what, Blaine?” Kurt bites, his anger and impatience starting to show. “I’ll tell you what you are, and that is a damn tease. You say you’re not ready, yet the second we start kissing you turn into this wildly horny young thing who begs me to touch him. You expect me to be the one to pull back and respect you, you get all high and mighty on me when I make a crude joke, and then the second my lips are on you you’re...”

“I am wildly horny, you jerk!” Blaine yells. “I’m sixteen and I've never been touched. What do you expect? I’m too damn scared to even think about getting myself off at home- frightened that someone, somehow will know, and I’m certainly not about to do that in your dad’s house, so yes, I am fucking horny and don’t you dare tell me off for cursing because you’re the one who’s put me in this mood. I want more than that though, Kurt. Don’t you? Don’t you want the thrill of kissing until we’re so helplessly turned on that we give in and touch? Don’t you want the romance of sweet kisses that build to more? Exploring each others bodies? Because I do. And what’s more, I made myself a promise that while I wouldn’t hold out, necessarily, I wouldn’t go all the way with someone unless I knew I could trust them with my heart, and I don’t trust you with mine just yet,” he admits, his voice growing quiet. “I’m sorry Kurt.”

“You can’t trust me with jack shit,” Kurt tells him honestly as he pulls into the driveway. “But god damnit you’re worth waiting for. And whatever you want to give, I’ll take, time and again. Whenever I’m in Ohio, I belong to you.” 

“I have to study for a history test.” 

“Kill the moment why don’t you?” Kurt cries, but they laugh and it’s easy once more as they step from the car and head inside. “You seriously never masturbate?” he asks Blaine as they kick off their shoes. Blaine shakes his head, looking almost apologetic as he stands in the hallway. “Jesus, you must be ready to explode.”

“Yes, which is why, when certain people kiss me awake in the mornings, I end up pathetically begging for more.”

“Hey, that’s not pathetic,” Kurt corrects quickly. “That’s hot. You wanna head downstairs now? We’ve got a couple of hours?”

“I need to study, I told you.”

“Oh,” Kurt says, dismayed. “You weren’t joking?”

“No Kurt,” Blaine laughs, heading to the basement door. “I wasn’t joking.” 

Burt is surprised to come home and find the dining room table covered in books, with Kurt at one end and Blaine at the other, reciting facts about the civil war which Kurt then checks off on a list. They have clearly been there for quite a while too. He forces himself not to pass comment, and just says hello before heading upstairs to shower and change. 

Things have altered slightly when he returns, with Blaine now sitting adjacent to Kurt as they go over his answers together, and when Burt walks through the room, Kurt takes his hand away from where he had been gently playing with Blaine’s hair, and places it back in his lap. Burt is saddened that he is obviously uncomfortable being caught sharing intimate affection, but cheered that he feels he can show that side of himself to Blaine, at least. 

“So I’m on my own for dinner then?” he calls, adding quickly “Which is fine. Fine. Good, in fact. Yes. Good.”

“Dad!” Kurt cries over Blaine’s laughter. “Be quiet.”

“Sorry.” Appearing in the dining room once more, he ruffles Blaine’s hair and kisses Kurt’s cheek, which he wipes off immediately but Burt doesn’t care. “So. Blaine. You want a job?”

“Huh?” Blaine looks up sharply. 

“At the shop. I need someone a few afternoons a week and wondered if you’d like to help me out.”

“Did you put him up to this?” Blaine asks, glaring at Kurt. 

“No I did not! I’ve been with you all day, when have I had time to speak with him?”

“Oh.” Blaine stops as he realizes Kurt is telling the truth. “Good point. Well yeah, I do want a job, but I’m not a mechanic.”

“I don’t need a mechanic. I need someone like you, who knows enough about engines to help out the guys, but also someone who doesn’t mind cleaning the cars after service, changing tires and so on.”

“I could do that!” Blaine says excitedly. “Plus, if I do study mechanical engineering, it would look good on my application, right?”

“Right,” Burt nods. “Three afternoons then. Right from school until six. But no more. You still need to study and see your friends.”

“Sure thing,” Blaine says happily, kicking his feet under the table in excitement.

Kurt reaches out, buoyed by Blaine’s enthusiasm, he lets his hand gently rub over his cheek. “See? I told you you were too good for Target.”

Blaine thinks he might have responded with a noise, but he’s not entirely sure. Still, Kurt smiles softly and stands. “Well excuse me, gentlemen. I have a date to prepare for.” 

“Hmm, yeah. Same,” Blaine says, grinning like a cheshire cat. 

“About that...” Burt starts, but stops himself before he can warn Kurt to behave or Blaine to be careful. “Just...have fun,” he settles on, and is satisfied when they both cast shy glances at each other. “And be home by midnight.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three little bits of information, for those wanting to know. 1: The song used in this chapter is Will You, by Hazel O'Connor (1980). 2: This fic is 44 chapters, all in and 3: There will be a sequel. It's not written yet, but I can assure you there will be one for sure.  
> Thank you for the continued comments and kudos, it means a lot.  
> Becky

In all honesty, Blaine can't remember ever being this nervous. Even at his dad's funeral, which had been nearly a year ago, he didn't feel quite as sick as he does right now. And why? It's just Kurt, he reasons as he paces restlessly in the hallway. Dinner with Kurt. That's all.

Except he's wearing a two hundred dollar shirt, and his best bow tie, the red one his dad had given to him on his fifteenth birthday, with a smart gray suit and his best shoes. He also has his wallet tucked inside his jacket, which he keeps patting to make sure it's there, and the keys to Burt's nice sedan rather than his battered and beat up old car. He had thought about flowers, but then reasoned that Kurt is flying back on Sunday anyway, so flowers would be a waste. He has, however, bookmarked an online delivery company, and he has every intention of asking Burt for Kurt's address come Monday, and sending him some then.

"Well, well."

Kurt descends the stairs slowly, looking incredible in a teal green suit that simply wouldn't look good on anyone else. It's the first time Blaine has ever seen him in a tie, or indeed dressed so smartly, and he's surprised to find his stomach give a lurch and to feel the burn of desire flare inside of him. Certainly Kurt is always well dressed, but it's comfortable, casual fashion. Shirts with scarves or sweaters with an unreasonable amount of zips or buttons, most often teamed with jeans or skinny pants of one kind or another. But this suit...this suit makes Blaine want to back him right up those stairs and forget all about going out.

"Someone cleans up well," Kurt continues as he comes to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. "You look amazing," he says, genuine and heartfelt in his compliment, and Blaine relaxes an infinitesimal amount.

"Thank you. You...uh...stunning," Blaine chokes out. "Really stunning. Um..." He scrambles to hold the door open. "Let's go." He glances down the hall to check Burt isn't around but he's made himself scarce, so he makes a break while the going is good, and runs around to open Kurt's car door for him.

Kurt won't admit to being impressed, but he is. Especially when Blaine pulls up outside Bellucci's, easily the classiest and most expensive restaurant Lima has to offer. He's gone to so much trouble, and seems so nervous, that Kurt really wants to kiss him and tell him In and Out would be fine, but he also knows how much Blaine wants to do this, and- surprisingly- how much he wants to let Blaine do this for him.

He knows it surprises Blaine when he takes his hand, but he also knows Blaine tries not to let it show, lacing their fingers together as if it was the most natural thing in the entire world, which in a weird way, it feels like it is.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asks, stopping him outside the door.

"Um...yes. I think so," Blaine nods. "Just...y'know, trying to remember to breathe and all that."

"You're incredibly cute," Kurt says, persisting when Blaine makes a face. "You are. I don't care if you don't want to hear that. You're cute and adorable. Adorably cute, maybe, and thank you for bringing me out tonight."

"You're welcome," Blaine mumbles, holding the door open for him and trying not to explode with joy.

Over dinner they talk about Bessie for a while, and then about Blaine's possible college choice and where he might go. "You should look into New York," Kurt says offhandedly, and Blaine pauses, his forkful of steak halfway to his mouth.

"Well...I've never even been there so..."

"Yeah, but whatever happens, we're gonna be in each other's lives, right? Because of dad? I mean, when you've left for college, where are you going to go for holidays and stuff? Not to your mom, surely?"

"I'd...well...I'd just stay wherever I was for college," Blaine mutters, embarrassed.

"Over Christmas? Alone?"

"Um..."

"You realize dad's virtually adopted you, right? He considers you his son whether you like it or not, Blaine, and that means he will expect you home every damn holiday you get."

"He's..." Blaine stops, his heart swelling with joy. "Does that...how...how do you feel about that?"

"Well, okay, I guess," Kurt says with a shrug. "I'm just saying if you were in New York, or near to it, we could fly home together and stuff."

"I can get myself home from wherever I am. I'm not a total moron."

"I know, I just worry, that's all," Kurt shrugs, a little dismayed that Blaine won't entertain the idea further.

"But saying that...it makes me feel like a little kid," Blaine explains, missing the point entirely. "I'd rather... I don't know, talk about you, really."

"Okay," Kurt smiles, burying the subject for now. "What do you want to know?"

"I don't know. Can I ask you some questions?"

"Only if you won't be offended if I don't answer."

Blaine smiles and gives a small nod. "What's your favorite thing to do in New York?"

"Pick up men. Next?"

Blaine blanches slightly and swallows. "What is your magic number?"

"Too many," Kurt snaps. "What else?"

"Is your bed like...permanently busy?"

"No, because I never take anyone back to my apartment except one person, and if he comes around I keep it out of my bed."

Blaine shakes his head, unable to comprehend the way Kurt is talking and being so blasé about it all. "That Jeremy guy?"

"Yeah. But..."

"So what's the deal there?"

"Well...we had an affair a few years back, and since that ended we kind of fall into bed with each other every now and then but..."

"But you sleep with others in the meantime?"

"Yeah, but..."

"That disgusts me, Kurt," Blaine says sadly.

"I haven't been with anyone since I kissed you," Kurt says in a rush, and so quickly Blaine thinks he might have misheard.

"You haven't been with anyone?"

"That's what I said."

"Oh. Well." Blaine stops. He really wants to ask Kurt to elaborate, to explain why he hasn't, and if it's anything to do with him, but he has a feeling that if he pushes Kurt too far the evening might end both abruptly and badly. "Tell me about your first date," he tries instead, and Kurt seems happier, more relaxed as he rests his chin on the palm of his hand and gazes softly at Blaine.

"Well, it was sweet. He kept asking awkward questions, which kinda got to me a little, but he was so...I don't know. So damn perfect that I couldn't help but answer, I guess."

"Where did you go?"

"Out for dinner. I remember," Kurt says, settling back in his seat and watching Blaine closely. "He wore this charcoal gray suit with a pale blue shirt. The shirt had a red pinstripe and then he wore a matching bow tie. It was funny, because it made me look at him differently, as if he were a man and not a boy. I wanted to let myself go, to get lost in him, but I'm nothing if not a dumbass, so I kept holding back, though I really don't know why."

"Kurt..."

"And all I wanted to do was be in his arms," Kurt finishes quietly.

"Your first date, I said," Blaine tells him, struggling with all he's just heard.

"You are my first date," Kurt says, levelling his gaze at Blaine. "No one has ever taken me out before. No one's ever asked."

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"No. No kidding," he says seriously. "Your questions are annoying."

Blaine manages a small laugh, ducking his head. "Yeah, well, not as annoying as your answers."

"Are we getting dessert?"

"I don't know," Blaine replies, hoping he comes across as flirtatious rather than frantic. "That depends on how you think your first date is going?"

"Well...I'm not ready for it to end, let's put it that way," Kurt grins, and with that, the waiter collects their plates and they order tiramisu.

"Seriously, Kurt, no one?" Blaine asks the second they're alone again.

"No," he sighs. "Get over it already."

"Be nice," Blaine reminds him. "How have you been through the whole of New York's gay population but not been on a date?"

"Shut up. I have not," Kurt says, affronted. "I told you, I pick them up. I go to bars or clubs, walk in, find someone, take them home. Much like I did with you."

The grin he gives is so self satisfied and smug that for a second all Blaine wants to do is hurt him, but he bites it back. "What about your married man?"

"Well he's never taken me out anywhere. He can't; too much at stake. It kinda hurts, when I bump into him at the theatre and I'm ignored because he's with his wife, or I see him cycling through Central Park with his kids."

"Why do you put yourself through it then?"

"Because he's the only one who's ever shown me any affection on a repeated level, that's why. But I told you, I don't anymore."

"Don't what?"

"See him."

"At all?"

"No."

"Do you have friends?"

Kurt stops short, taken off guard by the question. "I have people I work with, who I go to bars with or whatever, but I guess the only real friend I have is my sort of roommate."

"I thought you lived alone?"

"I do. There's this girl who lives across the hall. She comes and goes as she pleases. Steals my food, uses my hot water."

"Maybe she's crushing on you."

"She's a lesbian."

"Oh."

They laugh, causing the waitress to cast a confused glance between the pair as she sets the tiramisu down. "Two spoons, please," Kurt says, and suddenly finds himself ridiculously excited at the prospect of sharing dessert with Blaine.

"I really like you, Kurt," Blaine suddenly says, and the declaration is so sincere Kurt feels as if he may cry. "Sometimes I don't know why I do, but I do. A lot. And yeah...that's about it, I guess." He takes a mouthful of dessert to shut himself up while Kurt plays with his spoon, eating a tiny bit of whipped cream before looking at him.

"If I tell you this...I never tell people stuff like this, simply because I don't tell people bullshit to make them feel better but... I'm um...I feel the same. You..." he trails off, taking a deep breath before continuing. "You have captured me from the moment you cornered me in Scandals parking lot and told me you were worried about me walking home alone."

"That was dumb."

"That was caring, and it stayed with me."

The tension between them is palpable as they eat their dessert, and Blaine isn't quite sure whether to cry with longing or pin Kurt down on the table when he starts offering his spoon, letting Blaine take the most of the cake before licking it clean each time, until there's nothing left but two ridiculously horny men, one of whom quickly signals to the waiter for the bill.

"I can't get out of my chair," Kurt whispers. "The tiramisu did things to me."

Blaine laughs as quietly as he can, handing the waiter his credit card without even looking at the total.

"Get you, mister smooth and sophisticated," Kurt says, noting the way in which Blaine's eyes never move off his. "Paying the bill without even looking at it. Our first date."

"Technically not," Blaine points out. "Seeing as you bought dinner on the way back from Tennessee."

"In Cracker Barrel? Wow, Blaine. I know I'm crap at romance but even I could manage better than Cracker Barrel."

"Are you ready to move?"

"Yeah," Kurt sighs. "Cracker Barrel is kind of a mood killer."

The mood returns though, once they are home. It's not even eleven, but the house is quiet, and a note from Burt lets them know that he needs to drive down to Kentucky in the morning to pick up a car, and he won't be back until the afternoon to work on Bessie.

"So." Kurt stands awkwardly in the kitchen, not quite sure how a night out is supposed to end without drunken sex and then instant dismissal.

"So. Um... I guess, ordinarily, I'd walk you to your door."

"I'll allow it," Kurt says, offering his hand. They walk quietly up the stairs and Blaine is suddenly struck with the realization that in all his times here, he's never been in Kurt's room. It's the other end of the landing to Burt's, and overlooks the back of the house. They pause outside his door and Blaine wonders if all dates end the same way, with both parties unsure of how to proceed, even though just that morning Kurt had been draped over him, shirtless.

Kurt.

Shirtless.

Kissing.

Blaine's brain short circuits for a moment, but when he comes back around Kurt is still standing there, one hand on the doorknob as if unsure whether he's expected to just walk away. "I had a really good time," Blaine whispers, leaning up slightly to kiss Kurt's cheek.

That's all it takes for Kurt to bring his free hand up to the lapel of Blaine's jacket. It is not a firm grip but it says enough, and suddenly a shaking hand is sliding into his hair as Blaine brings his lips to his own. Neither dares open their mouths wider than a fraction, not wanting to break that tentative dam that is barely containing their lust, but Kurt's pupils are dilated to just the smallest ring of blue surrounding deep black pools, and Blaine is pretty sure he must look the same.

"Do you want to come in?"

"Yes."

That's it. No preamble, no hesitation, just a straight question and an honest reply, and Kurt refuses to dwell on the fact that this is the first time he has ever invited another man into his bedroom and what that might mean exactly, and becomes determined to lighten the mood somehow before he ends up rushing to get Blaine naked and underneath him, thereby ruining everything.

The thing is, Kurt knows nothing in the art of slow seduction but everything about how to score a quick fuck. The two are entirely different and one thing's for sure, Blaine is worth more than a one night stand. He lets Blaine wander around the room for a while, taking in the photos of Kurt during his childhood with his dad by his side.

Kurt's room is perhaps more masculine than Blaine would have imagined. That's not to say he thinks he's effeminate, but more that it lacks the style and grace that Kurt himself seems to ooze so freely. Then again, he doesn't live here, Blaine reasons as he takes in the black and gray covers on the bed. Possibly his New York apartment has Kurt's own stamp all over it. Blaine wonders if he'll ever get to find out.

"Have you ever watched Enchanted?" Kurt asks into the silence, and Blaine turns to look at where he stands by his window, next to a desk which holds a docking station and some old magazines.

"The Disney film? Yeah, why?"

"You know that song? The big one by the fountain?"

"That's how you know, he loves you," Blaine sings with a smile. "Love it."

"Yeah that one. And wow, you can really sing."

"Oh, um..thanks."

"So Giselle tells hottie Patrick Dempsey all these ways to let Idina know he loves her, yeah?"

"Yes," Blaine says warily. "Where's all this going?"

"Um, well, there's this bit where she sings 'well does he take you out dancing just so he can hold you close?'" Kurt pauses, waiting for Blaine to catch on, but he doesn't. He stays standing there, completely oblivious and Kurt has to hold his hands out to him. "C'mere."

Blaine takes his hands, still unassuming and oh so sweet and Kurt presses the button on his docking station quickly before he can think too deeply about it all. "Dance with me," he whispers in Blaine's ear. "Let me hold you close. And listen."

Blaine doesn't know the song. A slow, almost painfully raw saxophone takes up playing before a woman's voice comes through. Kurt holds Blaine in a classic pose, but close, so close as they gently dance together.

"Just so he can hold me close," Blaine thinks to himself before he turns his attentions to the lyrics of the song.

"You drink your coffee and I sip my tea

And we're sitting here playing so cool, thinking "What will be, will be"

But it's getting kind of late now

Oh I wonder if you'll stay now, stay now, stay now, stay now

Or will you just politely say goodnight?

I move a little closer to you, not knowing quite what to do

And I'm feeling all fingers and thumbs, I spill my tea, oh silly me!

But it's getting kind of late now

I wonder if you'll stay now, stay now, stay now, stay now

Or will you just politely say goodnight?

And then we touch much too much

This moment has been waiting for a long long time

Makes me shiver, it makes me quiver

This moment I'm so unsure

This moment I've waited for

Is it something you've been waiting for, waiting for too?

Take off your eyes, bare your soul

Gather me to you and make me whole

Tell me your secrets, sing me the song

Sing it to me in the silent tongue

But it's getting kind of late now

I wonder if you'll stay now, stay now, stay now, stay now

Or will you just politely say goodnight?"

As the lyrics fade away and the saxophone starts again, Blaine lifts his head from Kurt's shoulder and finds his lips. There's no mistaking this time that their kisses will lead to more but they take their time, kissing slowly and almost reverently.

For Kurt, it's the most romantic thing he's ever experienced, standing in his childhood room in the lamplight, gently exploring Blaine's mouth with his tongue. They keep it slow, neither one wants to rush this but it is Blaine who first slides Kurt's jacket to the floor and surprisingly, Kurt lets it stay there.

Had he stopped and thought about it, Kurt would have realized Blaine was the first person to undress him, his fingers trembling at the knot of his tie. Kurt lets him find his own way, his eyes fixing on Blaine's as they stop kissing for a moment. The tie loosened, it slides to the floor and Kurt steps forward, needing to feel Blaine's lips again.

He breathes in sharply through his nose when Blaine's firm hands draw him close, his thigh slotting between Kurt's legs and rubbing in exactly the right spot. Blaine is divested of his jacket and bow tie quicker, and then Kurt's gaze flicks down to his buttons as he carefully opens Blaine's shirt to find what lies beneath, the chest he has longed to kiss for so long, the lines he wants to trace with his tongue, the nipples he wants to tease.

Blaine moans quietly at the feel of Kurt's hands over his shoulders, sliding his shirt to the floor, and he starts to tremble when hot kisses are trailed down his neck. Somehow, in his haze, he gets Kurt's shirt off too, then gathers his body close, kissing him fiercely, their passion building at the feel of their chests pressed together.

Then he can't resist any longer and his hands move from being tangled in Kurt's hair to resting at the top of his waistband, dipping slightly below. He doesn't stop, either, sliding one hand right inside Kurt's underwear, squeezing the soft flesh of his ass and kissing under his jaw when Kurt cries out in pleasure.

To be touched, to be wanted like this is new to both of them, and though Kurt fumbles with Blaine's belt and zipper, neither one minds when at last they lie down on the bed together in just their underwear, their arousal evident.

A moment, where they lie on their sides just staring into each other's eyes and then Blaine moves slightly, and in doing so his groin brushes over Kurt's. Something snaps, and it is a hungry and desperate Blaine who rolls Kurt onto his back, kissing him fiercely and grinding against him.

Kurt slows him sweetly, with a gentle caress of his cheek which makes him pull back and look down at him, smiling. He dips his head again, trailing kisses over Kurt's eyelids and cheeks and finally his lips and then he moves lower. Kurt lets him, and although he usually dominates in bed, he finds he actually wants Blaine to seek him out, to get to know his body, to kiss every inch.

He bucks up helplessly when Blaine's tongue flicks over his nipples and a firm hand smoothes over his hip, dangerously close to where Kurt needs it to be, but not yet. First there is Blaine himself to be explored and when Kurt takes his turn, chasing each whimper with his lips when he rubs his thumbs over Blaine's nipples, he discovers things about Blaine that he never knew, like kissing just underneath his rib cage will make him thrust upwards, while a tongue trailing along his hip bone makes him squirm as he tries to hold back helpless laughter.

Kurt pauses, his chin resting on Blaine's stomach as he looks up at him. Wildly beautiful, is how he would describe him right now. His hair is a tumble of dark curls, his eyes black and his cheeks flushed. His whole body seems to be heaving with desire and when Kurt finally runs his palm over the front of his tight boxers, Blaine throws his head back and cries out.

"Kurt! Oh..."

Kurt is by his side once more, propped up on one elbow as he palms over him again and again, but Blaine stills his hand eventually, and turns his attentions to Kurt. His hands pause at the top of his briefs, his eyes questioning. Kurt gives a small nod and Blaine slides them down. Although his hands shake his touch is firm, and Kurt's fingers dig into his shoulder in pleasure, his breath hot in his ear as Blaine runs his hand over him again and again.

"Blaine," he murmurs softly, his eyes closed as he kisses gently at his temple. He's surprised to find himself so close to the edge already. Who knew that just the gentle touch and exploration of one another's bodies could be so deeply erotic and thrilling? And he's also shocked by how much he needs to kiss, to feel Blaine's lips on his simply because it's Blaine.

He carefully tugs Blaine's underwear down, biting his lip as he takes in the sight of Blaine lying fully naked before him, and then, lying on their sides, they press together. "Oh god," Kurt moans weakly, hooking his leg over Blaine's thigh and letting their cocks rub together. They are slick and heavy with precome already, meaning they slide perfectly, and Blaine's eyes fly wide open at the feeling.

"Kurt...I can't...last..."

"Close, Blaine," he murmurs, dropping frantic and desperate kisses wherever he can reach. "I'm so close."

"Kurt...yes," is all Blaine manages and then his mouth is on Kurt's once more, hot and wanting. It is less of a kiss and more of a gasp but Kurt doesn't care, holding Blaine tight as he slides against him a few more times then comes, his hips stuttering and his forehead pressed tight to Blaine's.

The sight is enough for Blaine, who tips over the edge too, with Kurt's name on his lips.

"Oh Kurt...Kurt..." he trails off, unable to form words as his body convulses over and over, his cock twitching against Kurt's own, their evidence hot and wet between them.

Neither knows how long they lie there, just looking into each others eyes and occasionally rubbing their noses together, but suddenly Blaine frowns. "The music stopped."

"A while ago, I believe," Kurt almost whispers with a smile. "The track is only four minutes so..."

"You seduced me, mister Hummel," Blaine says with a grin. "You and your dancing, and your perfectly chosen song."

"You were ripe and ready for seducing, mister Anderson," Kurt teases, leaning in to kiss at his lips. He rolls away for a second to grab some wet wipes and Blaine misses his warmth immediately, but he's back, lazily wiping at their stomachs. "Get under," he says, not having the courage to look at Blaine and answer questions he's not ready for. "We'll freeze on top of the covers all night."

Blaine says nothing, just climbs under the covers and happily accepts the warmth of Kurt spooning behind him, his arms resting loosely about his waist. A soft kiss comes to the back of his neck and then blackness as they both fall fast asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

Kurt wakes slowly, a lazy grin spreading over his face before he’s even opened his eyes. It’s Saturday, his dad is out all morning, and Blaine is in his arms. 

Except he’s not.

Kurt’s eyes fly wide open then, and he finds Blaine paused in panic, standing in the middle of the room in his boxers with one leg raised ready pull his pants on. 

“What are you doing?”

“Sorry,” he says apologetically. “I’m going right now.”

“What? Why? I don’t want you to go!” Kurt cries, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes. “Get back in!” 

“I thought...I thought you...”

“Get. In.”

Kurt’s tone is so commanding that Blaine drops his pants and gets back in the bed, keeping his gaze averted from Kurt’s nakedness. The gentle and warm kiss surprises him, but Kurt is persistent, moving until he's half lying on top of him and can kiss him properly. 

“I didn’t think you’d want to know me,” Blaine admits shyly, and Kurt nuzzles against him affectionately in return. 

“I want to know you better.”

“Well we did quite a bit of getting to know each other last night.”

“Not nearly enough, in my eyes,” Kurt says, challenging him with his words. “I don’t chase, Blaine, and I don’t bullshit either. If I say something I mean it. I had like...the best night ever with you, and I’d like to pick up where we left off.” 

"We left off asleep in each other's arms." 

"Exactly." 

Blaine finds it easy and natural in Kurt's embrace, and Kurt himself doesn't seem to be over thinking things too much, so he closes his eyes, his head resting in the crook of Kurt's neck with one hand resting on his chest, and they are back to sleep quickly. 

When they wake again, much happier and relaxed, it is with soft, lazy kisses. Blaine is undeniably hard against Kurt's thigh and he wonders how much this boy will let him take. All of it, probably, he thinks as he gently nudges Blaine onto his back and kisses him again, running his fingers through his hair, but he doesn't think he can do that. Not yet, anyhow. 

He settles for kissing along his jaw, loving the scratchy feel of his stubble, but Blaine quickly turns his head. "I should shave for you."

"No, you really shouldn't," Kurt murmurs in his ear. "It's hot. Manly." 

"Hmmm," Blaine says with a pleased grin. "I can...yeah, I can live with that, I guess." 

And without warning, he flips Kurt onto his back, kissing hotly under his jaw before moving along his collarbone, pausing to run his tongue into the hollow at the base of his neck. He's surprised how easy and natural it is to do all this stuff, but then on the other hand, he looks at Kurt, spread out and willing underneath him, and he wants to kiss every inch of his body, to taste him on his tongue and to make him fall apart, which is exactly what almost happens when he drops featherlight kisses over his stomach and then pauses, looking up at Kurt and waiting. 

Kurt rubs a gentle hand over his rough cheek, propped on one elbow and looking down at him. "You don't have to." 

"I know but...I want to. I'm just worried because I know last time was really bad and..." 

"I didn't know you last time, and I was harsh with you, but don't feel like you have to do this to make amends because there really is no need." 

"Can I at least taste you? I want to. I mean...." 

Kurt arches his back and moans at the feel of Blaine rubbing a hand over him, bringing him back to full hardness and he wonders yet again why this is enough for him? Why is just a touch from Blaine enough to have him quivering and desperate when before he's had to chase his orgasm for hours and even when he gets there it's deeply unsatisfactory? He think he knows his answer, of course, but it's much easier not to acknowledge it and focus instead on the feel of Blaine's gentle kiss to the very tip of his cock. 

"Blaine? Do you want me to like, warn you? If I'm close?" 

Blaine gives a small nod, "I'm not sure I'm ready for..."

"That's okay," Kurt says, choking on another moan as Blaine licks the entirety of his length then circles his tongue around the head, his eyes flicking up to Kurt for approval. "That...that..oh fuck. That is so okay." 

Pleased, Blaine does it again, fascinated by the deep flush of longing that spreads across Kurt's body, right up to his cheeks. He notices how desperately he is wanted and it thrills him because he knows, despite everything, that he is wanted because he is Blaine, not just because he is a guy. That's what makes it different, that's what makes it so much better, Blaine thinks as he slowly sinks his mouth down around Kurt, who cries out again and tangles his fingers in his curls. 

"Blaine! Oh my god!" 

"Not good?" he asks, pulling back in panic.

"Too good," Kurt corrects, caressing his cheek again. 

"Oh." 

So Blaine goes back to it, hiding his grin around Kurt's cock as he sinks lower this time, running his tongue over him again as he rises then falls. He is honestly surprised at how quickly Kurt unravels, and it feels as if he only gets to explore him for a short while before Kurt is tapping the side of his head. 

"I can't," he moans brokenly. "I can't hold off if you keep that up, and I want....I want to touch you, please." 

Blaine pulls away, blinking. "You don't have to. I mean, if you want to..."

"I want to kiss you," Kurt states, and Blaine smiles that adorably sweet smile he has and finds his mouth. The pace slows as they make out and gently grind against one another but soon it's not enough, and Kurt kisses Blaine's cheek sweetly. "Just....wait right there," he whispers, hurrying across the room to rummage in his bag until he finds a small packet of lube. "This will feel good. Trust me," he says as he encourages Blaine to spoon in front of him. 

The lube is cold, which makes Blaine gasp, but what makes him gasp louder still is the feel of Kurt's cock sliding into the crease of his ass cheeks. Kurt's arms come around him, holding him in place as he slowly picks up a rhythm, which only makes Blaine want more. 

"Take me," he moans weakly into the pillow. "Kurt....I want to feel you inside me." 

"Not yet," Kurt whispers, laying a gentle kiss to his shoulder. "One day, but not yet." He can barely believe he's just spoken the words, but he's also conscious that right now, Blaine is right on the edge and he doesn't want him making a decision he would come to regret. "Here," he murmurs, letting one hand stroke over Blaine's cock which is hard and wanting. "Let me make you feel good." 

Blaine stifles his moan by twisting his head and finding Kurt's lips, and then Kurt angles them so Blaine is slightly more on his front, picking up the pace quickly. "I can't hold off," he moans, wishing the moment could last so much longer. "Oh god, Blaine..."

"Yes," Blaine gasps, and his orgasm hits before he can say anything else, tearing through him and making his whole body quiver. He is vaguely aware of Kurt spilling hot over his lower back, but he's riding out the aftershocks, wincing at the feel of Kurt still stroking him, so he reaches down to stop his hand, and then, in a moment of total recklessness for him, he brings Kurt's hand to his mouth and sucks his fingers clean. 

"Fucking hell," Kurt says quietly, then takes his hand back to run it over the top of Blaine's ass, scooping up his own come and running his finger back into the warmth of Blaine's mouth, who sucks it eagerly. "Oh my god, Blaine, I could come again from that. That is so hot, you filthy boy," he whispers, tugging his earlobe between his teeth, and then they promptly burst out laughing. 

"It's not... I don't know why I did that," Blaine admits between his snickering. "I've never done anything like that before." 

"I should hope not!" Kurt cries, laughing all the while. He wipes at Blaine's back then kisses his shoulder again, and Blaine is struck by the tenderness of his actions. He wonders if he cleans up other guys he's been with, and he finds himself hoping not. 

"Are you okay?" Kurt asks when Blaine turns over to face him. "You got a little carried away there." 

"Hmm, yeah, sorry," Blaine says bashfully biting his lip. "You were right to hold me back. I'm not... I'm not ready for that." 

"I know," Kurt says softly, caressing his cheek and leaning in close to lightly kiss his lips. "And I'm just enjoying getting to know you like this, and all your filthy habits," he teases with a wink. 

Blaine smiles but then turns serious, tucking his hands beneath his chin and blinking nervously. "Kurt?" 

"Not now," he sighs, closing his eyes and resting their foreheads together. "Please not now, because we're not in the right space for that discussion. Just let me...let us, enjoy the rest of the time we have together, please?" 

"Okay," Blaine agrees reluctantly, a little dismayed that Kurt isn't more willing to discuss their situation. He had kind of hoped for an immediate declaration of attraction, and a readiness to enter into a relationship, but now he's not so sure, and he doesn't like the unpleasant feeling it gives him in the pit of his stomach. "I should...shower, really. Then we should start work on Bessie. I mean your dad will be back soon and..." 

"Blaine? Have I upset you?" 

"No, no. I just think we should get moving, that's all. He's not going to be happy anyway, is he? Then if he gets back and we haven't even started work..." 

"Can I shower with you?" Kurt asks as Blaine steps shyly from the bed and locates his underwear. 

"Um, well, my shower is downstairs and yours is upstairs so..."

"I don't think there's a hard and fast rule about which shower to use," Kurt says, smiling at him as if he were indulging a small child. 

Blaine pulls his underwear on and stands, holding his shirt in his hands and fiddling with the buttons. "I want you to like me," he whispers sadly.

Kurt goes to him, wrapping his arms around him and kissing into his hair when Blaine ducks his head onto his shoulder. "I do," he says, saddened by seeing Blaine upset. "So much. Please don't think for one minute that I don't, I'm just....I need to work out some stuff in my own head, Blaine. I find it hard to talk about stuff like this and I'm trying, really, but I can't just lie in bed with you talking about where we go from here, because I don't want to promise something rash or stupid, like moving back to Ohio, if I can't keep that promise." 

Blaine looks up, surprised. "I don't want you to move back to Ohio." 

"You don't?"

"No. Whatever gave you that idea? Why would I expect you to leave your life behind for a sixteen year old who likes you a lot? That's absurd." 

"Oh. Okay. Well..." Kurt trails off, worried that his daydreaming the other day now seems way off the mark. 

"Still wanna take that shower together?" 

And Kurt grins, forgetting all about the depth of his feelings and what any of this might actually come to mean. Taking Blaine's hand and kissing his lips, they head downstairs together to Blaine's bathroom.   
*

Burt is surprised to find both boys in their coveralls, with Kurt's head under the hood and Blaine trying Bessie's ignition, but he says nothing. "I'm back." 

"So I see," Kurt says, straightening up and taking his dad completely off guard when he hugs him tight. "Did it go okay?" 

"Yes," Burt says warily, his eyes flicking to Blaine and back again. "It was just a normal pick up, but it's Mr Henderson. He doesn't trust anyone else with his car so he wanted me to take it back to the shop. I'll look at it Monday." 

"Okay. Blaine and I were just taking a look here, and I think Bessie might have a problem with her starter motor." 

"Really?" Burt sighs, taking off his cap to run a hand over his head. "Great. One thing after another with her. Women. Try her again, Blaine." 

Blaine does as he's told, his eyes wide and fearful, waiting for Burt to call him out on his behavior, but it doesn't come. He's just Burt. Normal, grouchy and kind as ever, as if he didn't really know that they had both been in Kurt's room that night, but he's as sharp as a tack; Blaine knows he will have figured it out. 

Kurt keeps his eye on Blaine all day. He's happy, ridiculously so, and Kurt wants so much to join in and be a part of that. Sometimes, he can. When his dad annoys Blaine on purpose, by ruffling his hair, which he does a lot, or tries to embarrass him, Kurt can laugh along with them, especially when Blaine makes his witty comebacks. Kurt revels in seeing how mature and smart he is, and he loves how easy the relationship between the three of them is, but then his mind wanders to New York. 

The loneliness, the isolation, the need to feel wanted and in demand that just won't be satisfied with Blaine left back in Ohio. Yes, he knows it's selfish. He knows how arrogant he sounds but...but...it's the only way Kurt knows. He's not sure Blaine can satisfy that need in him, and he's not even sure it would be fair to try. 

By the time dinner rolls around there seems to be an air of awkwardness between the pair as they tiptoe around each other in the kitchen while dishing out Chinese takeout, so polite and formal. 

"Um, Blaine? Could you please pass me an egg roll?"

"Yes," Blaine nods, and Burt notices he keeps his gaze downcast as he does so. 

"Okay," he sighs, setting his chopsticks down. "If this is gonna go on, then there needs to be some ground rules." 

"Dad, please."

"No!" Burt cuts his son off quickly with a hand in the air. "I wouldn't normally get involved, you know that, but for a start, Blaine is so young, and secondly, I want to feel like I can have both of you in the house at the same time without worrying about whether you're on or off. You two need to talk to each other, now. Before you go back, Kurt. Work out what it is you both want and then work out whether you can achieve that together as a couple or apart. I want you both home for Christmas and I don't want there to be an atmosphere." 

"You want me here for Christmas?" Blaine says quietly, feeling like all his emotions hit him at once. "Really?"

"You're my boy," Burt says gruffly, tugging on the napkin at his neck. "Of course I want you home. You might live over there but this is where you belong." 

"Oh," Blaine says, bowing his head to hide his ear splitting grin. "Thank you." 

"But I don't want either one of you home if this isn't all worked out. Together or apart, I don't care. You're not gonna disappoint me," he says to Blaine more than Kurt, "whichever you decide. I just don't want it to be awkward, and right now, it is." 

"You're right, it is," Kurt sighs. "And we will talk, I promise." 

"Thank you," Burt says, and picking up his chopsticks, he continues to eat. 

"I'm sorry if I let you down last night," Blaine suddenly says. "You invited me to be a guest here and then I repaid you by....well. I'm sorry." 

"You're not a guest," Burt replies, reaching for more food. "And you only have to answer to yourself, Blaine. As long as you think your actions are acceptable, then that's okay. I'll always tell you what I think, and if you let me down or cause me any disappointment I'll let you know, and I haven't, so assume you didn't," 

"Actually, it was me. I invited him in," Kurt admits. "I wanted him there." 

"It was bound to happen," Burt says with a shrug. "Now can we please talk about something else? I don't need to know any details." 

"Just one thing," Kurt says with a slow smile. "One time, you really need to see Blaine's hair first thing. It looks like he's been electrocuted." 

"Hey!" Blaine objects, but he laughs loudly and flicks a bit of rice Kurt's way. 

"I've noticed he's been wearing less gel," Burt says with a smile, enjoying the way Blaine holds his head in his hands. "Is that your doing?" 

"Yep," Kurt says smugly. "No need to thank me." 

"Yeah well, I..I...I didn't just do it for you," Blaine blusters, though everyone knows he did. 

"I'd say you both bring out the best in each other actually," Burt shrugs. "Now. Are we playing a game tonight? I want to teach Blaine gin rummy." 

Blaine loves playing cards with the Hummels, and whether things evolve between him and Kurt or not, he thinks it will always be his favorite thing to do. The way Kurt tries to take it seriously but ends up laughing at everything, the way Burt pretends like he has no idea what he's doing but then wins every game, and the warm fun atmosphere, all conspire to make it such an enjoyable evening that Blaine doesn't want it to end. It's not just the laughter though, it's the feeling of belonging, of being a part of something special that makes Blaine feel truly at home, that makes him unafraid to reach out and cover Kurt's hand with his own, and accept his head onto his shoulder as the evening wears on. 

"Tired?"

"Hmm," Kurt replies, closing his eyes and snuggling a little tighter against him. "A little sad maybe, as well." 

"Why?"

Kurt opens his eyes and looks across to where Burt deals cards, ready for their final round. "I don't want to leave you. Either of you."

"You'll be home again soon," Blaine says as stoically as he can, reaching up with his hand to caress Kurt's cheek quickly. "I love sitting here playing cards with you and your dad, but it's not like this all the time. I have school, and now work too." 

"I know," Kurt sighs. "You're right." 

"Okay, final round then bed," Burt declares, and when it's over Kurt stands, waiting expectantly. 

"Blaine? You coming?" 

"Oh. Um...well I...."

"Go on, son," Burt says with a wave of his hand. "Don't stand on ceremony. He'll be gone tomorrow." 

"Oh, okay well...yes," he says, his heart soaring at the prospect of another night in Kurt's arms. "I'll just get my pajamas." 

Kurt wants to say he won't need them, but he doesn't dare in front of his dad, so he waits upstairs for Blaine to appear.

"My god, you know how to make a guy swoon," he says when Blaine comes in wearing his best green pajamas. "Are they silk?" 

"I like nice things," he says, embarrassed.

"So do I. Now come here so I can take them off again." 

Later that night, as they lie spent in each other's arms, both their minds wander to the inevitable conversation. Blaine is hopeful, he doesn't mind admitting it. He knows Kurt feels strongly for him, his mention of moving back, and the open declaration of him not wanting to leave were both proof of that. He also thinks Kurt wants to change, and he just hopes he knows how. 

As for Kurt, his mind is made up, and he spends the majority of the night watching Blaine as he sleeps, waiting for the dawn. At around five, he can't stand it any longer and has to give in and kiss him. Blaine responds, even though he barely seems to wake, and they make out for the longest time until Kurt quite literally falls asleep on top of him, with his mouth still on Blaine's. 

When they wake again the room is light, and Blaine knows without opening his eyes that Kurt is watching him. "So."

"Yeah, so." 

Blaine stretches and opens his eyes properly, kissing Kurt good morning. "So tell me then." 

"Blaine I...okay, I need you to tell me what you want here. What you want this to be." 

"I would have thought you knew," Blaine says as he props himself up on one elbow. "I want us to be together." 

"Together as in..." 

"Boyfriends," Blaine finishes for him. "and in case you need further clarity, that means a relationship where neither one of us cheats on the other." 

Kurt sits, and Blaine looks up at him, his stomach plummeting as he realizes what's to come. "Blaine, I can't do that." 

"But..."

"I can't do that to you, it wouldn't be fair. I am not a faithful person, I'm not even sure I'm a very nice person, to be honest. I've never done a relationship before, I don't know how. I especially can't do a long distance one. The first guy I spoke to I'd be in his bed and then worrying about how much I'd hurt you, and I really don't want to hurt you at all." 

Blaine would like to point out that he's hurting him right now, as they sit in bed together, naked, after having spent the weekend absorbed in one another's bodies, but he doesn't. He simply sits up, and nods. "I see." 

"I'm so sorry," Kurt continues. "You are, and I really do mean this, adorable. I would love to be able to give myself to you like that, but I just know it would never work." 

"Okay," Blaine says bravely, swallowing the sadness and despair. "I understand." 

"I meant what I said a few days ago through," Kurt continues, reaching out to play with the curls at the back of Blaine’s neck. "Whenever I'm in Ohio, I'm yours." 

Blaine smiles softly, his own hand reaching behind his neck to rest over Kurt's. "That's....um...incredibly sweet, I guess, but I'm sorry Kurt, it's a no." 

"Excuse me, what?"

"I'm not interested in being your Ohioan lover, Kurt. I want a relationship with you, or nothing. Well, friendship, for sure, but not anything physical. I don't regret this weekend at all, but if it's not gonna progress it has to be a clean break for me. I take commitment very seriously, and a part time one just wouldn't work. At all. Ever." 

"Yes, yes, okay," Kurt snaps, his cheeks red. "You're turning me down?" 

Blaine shrugs, then leans forward and kisses him softly. "If you change your mind you know where I am. I'll see you for the holidays though, right? You will come home?" 

Kurt folds his arms and turns to look out the window. "No point if I'm not gonna get laid." 

"Oh stop it," Blaine bites, pulling on his pajamas. "It was going well, we were both being mature and now you're sulking because I said no to your sordid proposition." 

"It was not sordid!" 

"You're saying you won't commit to me, you'll fuck who the hell you want in New York but when you come home you want me on my back ready and willing. You can't have it both ways, Kurt. Now grow up and tell me you'll be my friend, and come home to visit your dad for the holidays." 

"I'm sad." 

"Well you know how to make it better then!"

"Don't railroad me into being your boyfriend, Blaine!" Kurt yells. "Because that's a sure fire way to piss me off." 

"Whatever," Blaine snaps, his hand on the door. "I'll see you when I see you." 

"Blaine! Wait...I.....I'm sorry. Really, I am." 

Blaine gives a sharp nod, avoiding all eye contact. "You'll come home?"

"I'll come home." 

"We can be friends?"

"We can." 

"Okay," Blaine nods again. "Well I have to go across the road to...to...do some stuff," he mumbles, not wanting Kurt to know he's about to cry. "So have a good few weeks and I'll see you soon."


	14. Chapter 14

Blaine sits on his bed, staring forlornly out of the window. Downstairs he can hear the general noise of his three nemeses tearing around the house, and he can hear his mom laughing as if they were true delights and not vile human beings with no respect for anything or anyone. Sighing heavily, he picks up his phone and sends yet another text to Kurt. 

"So it's Christmas Eve tomorrow, and you'll be flying home. I'm nervous about seeing you again, if I'm honest. I thought we were going to try and be friends but I haven't heard from you at all. I just need to know if it's still okay for me to be at your house tomorrow? I can stay here if you'd rather."

He knows he won't get a reply, but he still can't help trying. He doesn't want to spend the day with his supposed family, he'd much rather spend it with those he considers to be his true family, even if that is only Burt. 

He'd like to count Kurt in that list too, even if only as a brother, but his resounding silence for the last five weeks has led him to believe that Kurt perhaps doesn't care for him like he thought he did. Even so, he's bought him a Christmas gift, and one for Burt too. He didn't bother with anyone else. 

When he had approached his mom about spending Christmas with Burt, he was shocked and hurt when she just shrugged and said it didn't bother her. While Blaine didn't necessarily want to be around Spencer and his sons, it was their first Christmas without Blaine's dad, and he had hoped that maybe his mom would have mentioned something, but all she said was she was excited for their first Christmas as a family, so yes, maybe it would be better for Blaine to be across the road. 

The relationship between mother and son had now broken down beyond repair, and one thing was absolutely certain; Blaine was no longer considered a part of the family. 

He had Burt though. The pair shared breakfast together, and Blaine had his key to come and go as he pleased. He worked at the garage after school, and then on weekends they worked on Bessie at home, and still they never got fed up with one another. 

Burt wasn't a surrogate dad, nor Blaine a surrogate son. Their relationship was complex in many ways, yet simple in others. There was certainly an element of parent and child, due to Burt's over protective nature and need to dish out advice, and also Blaine's willingness to listen and ask questions. They loved one another as father and son would, but both were so different to their relative counterparts, that it was a whole world apart from the relationships they had with their own kin. They were friends too. Blaine opened up to Burt about everything, even what had taken place on the last morning he had seen Kurt.

Burt had replied as a friend, and not as a father, telling Blaine he had made the right decision and reminding him yet again that he is worth so much more, and he doesn't need to lower himself to being a part time lover. 

He had called Kurt out on it when they spoke, though Blaine didn't know that. His reward had been Kurt cutting off all contact, and while that was hurtful it was by no means unusual, and at least he didn't have to lie to Blaine about not having spoken with him. 

Christmas Eve finds Blaine hot footing it across the road, still in his pajamas with his hair wild. Burt arrives in his kitchen a little after eight, having closed the shop for today. He takes one look at Blaine, standing cooking bacon and eggs at the stove, and frowns. 

"What's all this? And Kurt's right, you do look like you've been electrocuted." 

Ignoring the Kurt reference, Blaine triumphantly hands Burt a plate and gestures for him to pour coffee. "Well, on Christmas Eve in my family, we have a lazy breakfast of bacon and eggs while wearing our pajamas and watching a film. I'm not about to instill that tradition over there, so I wondered if you'd like to join me?" 

"Only if it really is a tradition," Burt says as he hands Blaine a mug. "Cause I take tradition very seriously, boy. You can't duck out on me next year, or the one after that. I expect this to continue year after year, okay?" 

"Okay," Blaine says happily, and collecting his own plate they walk through to the den. 

"And we're watching It's a Wonderful Life," Burt tells him.

"Fine by me." 

"I know it is, sunshine. I take it you're now here until the day after Christmas?" 

"If that's okay?"

"Yep. Did you say goodbye to your mom?"

"Yes," Blaine lies as the film starts up. 

"Good boy. Here we go then," Burt smiles as he clinks their coffee mugs together. "Hummel Anderson Christmas tradition number one." 

They're half way way through the film when the front door slams, and Burt looks over the back of the couch in surprise. Kurt walks in, shaking snowflakes from his hair as he pulls off his coat and scarf. "Hey dad," he says, and Blaine sits up at the sound of his voice. "Oh. Blaine," he greets with a nod. "I'll be upstairs." 

"Hold up!" Burt calls, pausing the film. "That's it? I didn't even know if you were coming home."

"I told you I was."

"Four weeks ago you did, yes. I haven’t heard anything in so long, I thought you'd reconsidered." 

"I've been busy." 

"You should have called," Burt says, his hurt and anger evident. "I would have met you at the airport."

"I rented a car. Anyway. I'll be upstairs. Blaine, your hair is insane." 

There is a resounding silence once he's left the room, and Blaine tries to surreptitiously flatten his hair, the familiar feeling of dread creeping up on him that he gets when things are about to go horribly wrong. "I should..." he starts, but Burt places a firm hand on his knee. 

"Don't you dare."

"But..."

"He knew you would be here, he's known since Thanksgiving. If he had an issue he had plenty of time to say something about it." 

"You haven't spoken to him?" 

"Nope." 

Burt starts the movie again, and Blaine senses he doesn't want to talk any further, so he watches the film in silence while trying to calm his hair, until Burt gives him a withering glare and shakes his head. 

No one says a word when Kurt appears twenty minutes later, handing them both fresh coffee before sitting in the armchair across from them and staring at the TV. Blaine is glad he's chosen that spot, because it means his gaze is angled away from him, giving Blaine the ideal opportunity to study him. 

Kurt looks a mess. Tired, tortured and sad, Blaine thinks to himself as he takes in the red rimmed eyes and unshaven jaw line. He wonders why Burt doesn't call him out on his rudeness, but then figures that maybe Burt sees him the way he does, and decides to let things slide for the time being. 

He thought seeing Kurt again would be awkward, and it is, but not for the reasons he expects. He thought there would be an instant attraction and longing which he would have to try and hide, but instead he finds himself frustrated and angry at learning Kurt hasn't been in touch for so long. He can understand why he himself has been ignored, but for Kurt to ignore his own dad for a month, and after things had been going so well, Blaine thinks is wrong, and he intends to tell him as soon as he has the chance. 

"So," Burt says merrily once the movie is over. "Another? Or will we do something different? Ice skating?"

"I'd like that," Blaine says excitedly. "I haven't been since I was like....seven, I think." 

"Sure, come on then kid. Go and get dressed. Kurt, you joining us?" 

"No I am not," he snaps angrily. "Far be it from me to intrude on your love in." 

"Um...Kurt, if you want to spend time with your dad, I can always go home..." Blaine offers.

"Yes please." 

Everything in Blaine falls and he hangs his head, speaking quietly. "Sure. Well, that's not a problem. I can..."

"Don't you dare," Burt almost growls at Blaine who stands terrified. "Go and get dressed. Kurt, go get in the car, now. You're coming with us."

"I am not!" 

"Yes you are. Christmas is for families and we are a family. Go." 

"Leave him alone," Burt hisses at Kurt the second they are out in the car, waiting for Blaine to appear. "I don't know what's wrong with you, but I do know you haven't had any kind of contact with him, so whatever it is, it's not Blaine's fault. Now stop, or it will be you who gets uninvited for Christmas, not him." 

"Why does he have to be here anyway? He's not your kid, I am." 

"Enough!" Burt roars, and for once Kurt cowers back in silence. "That's all he ever gets at home, Kurt, and I'm trying to give him a break from all that. No, he's not my kid, but he's loyal, kind and good hearted. I like spending time with him and I love him like he were my own. If you have an issue with that then I suggest you grow up and get over it. No one will ever take the place of you, I love you with my whole heart even though you seem so intent on destroying it, but Blaine isn't going anywhere." 

"Oh for..."

"You will stop, Kurt, I mean it, and you will make this Christmas a happy one. It's Blaine's first one without his dad, and I know you were young, but I think you can remember how that feels, can't you?" 

Kurt gives a small nod, "I didn't realize." 

"No, well, he's not said anything about it yet, but I know it is, and I also know his dad died the second week in January, three days before his birthday, so he's got a tough time ahead. It's bad enough, but then you add the mother into the mix, and the other goons, and it just gets worse. God knows he doesn't need your unkindness on top." 

"Is his mom still..." Kurt starts, but Blaine comes out of the house so he shuts up, and Burt drives them to the lake in silence. 

He can't tell anyone, of course. The reason behind his silence has simply been no more than an effort to forget. To ignore the feelings Blaine elicits in him and hope that sleeping around will cause the memories of Blaine's sweet face to fade, except looking at any other guys just makes him miss Blaine even more. He had decided not to come home. He figured he would call his dad on Christmas Eve and fake a sickness bug, but then he found himself looking up last minute flights at three in the morning, and when he found a seat on the seven o'clock departure, his credit card details were suddenly typed in rapidly, and he was throwing clothes into a suitcase. 

He didn't expect to find Blaine already there. That had thrown him and caused him to flee upstairs where he spent a long time inexplicably trying not to cry, before deciding to bite the bullet and try to make amends. The only thing was, he didn't know how, and it seemed that being unkind to Blaine was the only way he could be right now. Well, it was that or falling into his arms, and as Blaine had rebuffed him last time, he was hardly about to make a move like that. He resolves to try harder as they park at the lake and head toward the skate rental. He didn't realize Blaine had all this stuff to deal with, and now he feels bad; especially when he catches the way Blaine is walking slightly off to one side, his arms folded across himself as if trying to remain invisible. 

"How's school?" he asks as they wait in the line, and Blaine looks over his shoulder before pointing to himself. 

"Me?" 

"No, my dad. What do you think?" 

"Oh...um...it's okay, I guess. Yeah," Blaine says in almost a whisper. "I'm still bullied quite a lot but...yeah. I'm not there forever so..." 

A silence falls between them while Burt stares ahead and tries to let them find their own way. It's excruciating to listen to, but he knows Kurt is trying in his own awkward way, to make Blaine feel better.

"How's New York?" Blaine asks after a while, and Kurt gives a shrug. 

"Cold. Full of men. The usual." 

"Why do you have to say that?"

"Say what?" 

"About the men? So you have sex. Big deal." 

"It is, actually," Kurt snaps. "Not that you'd know." 

"I'm waiting for someone who loves me," Blaine bites back. "So it means something. Not that you'd know." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Well obviously the things that happened between us meant nothing so..." 

"What? Don't put words in my mouth, Blaine," Kurt snarls at him. "You..."

"Boys!" Burt cries. "Shut up. Both of you. Collect your skates and put them on. Kurt, you over there, Blaine, you over there. Honestly," he mutters as he sits in the middle of the bench with Kurt and Blaine at either end. "I know I said I wanted us to be a family, but you didn't need to add the sibling rivalry into the mix. I can do without that." 

"His fault," Kurt mutters, and that's all it takes for Blaine to explode. 

"Jesus Christ Kurt! What is with you? You're twenty eight years old and you behave like you're five. Get over yourself, for gods sake, man! I don't need this crap. I just want to spend time with you and your dad. I haven't done anything to you, so quit being so mean, and please, if you really can't be nice to me, don't bother saying anything at all." 

"Well then," Burt says into the silence that follows. "Let's go skating." 

"Hello Burt!" 

The three look up to see a woman leaning on the barrier, cheeks flushed from skating, waving at Burt enthusiastically. "Mary," Burt says with a polite nod as he walks toward the ice. "You look lovely in that yellow scarf."

"Oh thank you," she trills, clearly elated. "I just thought I'd come and enjoy skating on such a beautiful day, I love winter, don't you?" 

Burt hates winter, but he steps onto the ice and glides toward her, offering his arm which he takes happily. "Love it," he smiles. "Let me take you for a twirl." 

Blaine and Kurt stand watching as Burt skates off with the woman on his arm, laughing in disbelief when he turns back and gives them both the thumbs up.

"What the hell just happened?" Blaine asks, stunned. 

"Yeah, he's uh...he's a bit of a smooth operator," Kurt says with a laugh. 

"Now I see where you get your charm from," Blaine says, trying for a joke, but he is swiftly ignored. 

"Come on, we may as well skate," Kurt sighs, sounding like he'd rather be anywhere else. 

He's off before Blaine can say or do anything, gliding swiftly past families and groups of friends, and damn, if he doesn't cut quite the most handsome figure, all solitary and brooding, his long legs pushing down against the ice, his navy overcoat flying out behind him and his red scarf flapping in the wind. 

"Come on!" he calls to Blaine after his first lap. He turns backward as he passes, taking in the sight of Blaine standing still on the ice and clutching the barrier. "Get moving!" 

He flies off again and Blaine curses inwardly, hating the feeling of shame and humiliation. He had thought ice skating with the Hummels would be all kinds of fun. He didn't know Kurt was a regular wizard over the ice and that Burt would be off chasing the ladies. He shuffles along another few steps, stumbling when a little girl whizzes past him, and he clutches onto the barrier once more when he sees Kurt approaching. 

This time he stops, kicking up a fine white powder, his cheeks glowing and eyes sparkling in a manner which forces Blaine to look away. "Blaine? Do you know how to skate?" 

"No," he admits quietly. "I don't." 

"Why did you say you love ice skating then?" Kurt asks in confusion.

"Because I went with my parents a couple of times," he flares. "They held my hands and pulled me along between them and all I really remember is how happy it made me feel. I told you, I was seven the last time I came." 

Kurt mutters something, which Blaine has no doubt is derogatory, but then he's off again, leaving Blaine to fend for himself. Spotting a hot chocolate stand over on the other side, he starts pulling himself along the barrier, cringing when he sees a group of Max and Simon's friends gathered on the far side of the lake. He will have to go past them to get to the stand, but at least there he can sit down and hide his face for a while. 

"Here."

Turning, he sees Kurt standing with his hands out stretched, waiting. 

"Huh?" 

"Give me your hands, fool." 

"Don't call me that." 

"Fine." Rolling his eyes, Kurt is about to skate away again, but then he looks, really looks at Blaine. He's on that edge. The cusp of tears and Kurt knows exactly how he feels, because it's pretty much how he went through all of high school. At Thanksgiving, Blaine's confidence had seemed to soar, but now he seems more timid and afraid than ever before. His eyes flicker over Kurt's shoulder, and obviously someone or something is there that makes Blaine feel uneasy, but Kurt knows it is his actions, and his alone, which have made Blaine feel so sad, and for that he hates himself more than ever. 

"Skate with me?" he tries again, but Blaine shakes his head. 

"It's fine, honestly. I'm gonna go get some hot chocolate. Do you want any? Do you think your dad will? Or his lady friend?" 

"Blaine, we can do that later. Let's skate together," Kurt says, and he gently reaches out for Blaine's left hand. 

He knew touching Blaine would be a mistake. Even though they're both wearing thick gloves, the shock of hand holding is very real to both. Blaine notices how Kurt seems to suck in his breath, and Kurt finds himself staring as Blaine subconsciously runs just the tip of his tongue out to wet his lips. 

Blaine offers his other hand, silently letting Kurt know he trusts him, and Kurt steps closer, tugging Blaine carefully off the barrier and smiling softly. "There ya go," he whispers, completely unable to take his eyes off Blaine's startled gaze. "Now it's push, push, glide, okay? So I'll go backward and you just hold on to me."

"But I..."

"You won't fall, Blaine," Kurt tells him sweetly. "I've got you, I promise." 

He holds Blaine's hands tightly, pulling him along to start, but with gentle encouragement Blaine starts to push against the ice, smiling when he feels the difference between being pulled along and doing it for himself. 

"See? You got it!" Kurt says happily.

"Don't let me go!"

"I can't," Kurt replies quickly, and Blaine stumbles at the strangeness of his reply. "Um..I mean, you have my hands in a death grip, so..." he trails off, adding what he hopes is a lighthearted laugh at the end, and to his relief, Blaine joins in, clearly deciding to let the comment pass. 

They skate along happily, until Blaine pulls up, tugging Kurt to a stop. "Can we uh...can we go back? I'm done now."

Kurt's gaze flicks over to a large group of teenagers who as yet clearly haven't noticed Blaine, but he can sense his fear. He obviously knows them and doesn't want to go past, and now he stands in the middle of the ice biting his lip. 

"You're not done," Kurt says lightly. "You were enjoying it a second ago. Here, let me skate by your side and you can hold my arm instead. That way it doesn't look so much like I'm leading you around." 

Blaine agrees with some reluctance, but he relaxes once he's past the group who are obviously more interested in their hot chocolate than him, and he actually finds himself smiling and moving a little closer to Kurt. 

"So your dad..."

Kurt laughs, shaking his head as Burt and Mary pass them and wave. 

"Does he date a lot?"

"Not really. Nothing serious, anyway. He just likes to charm the ladies every now and then. Plus I think it was his not so subtle way of giving us some privacy." 

"An ice rink isn't exactly private," Blaine points out.

"No, but at least we're talking and not fighting, which I guess is what he was aiming for."

"We wouldn't have been fighting at all if you hadn't arrived home in such a mood." 

"I..." Kurt starts and then shakes his head. "I'm tired, probably."

"Stop going out every night then," Blaine says bluntly. "Stay home and reply to some of your text messages instead." 

Kurt doesn't say anything, but Blaine knows he's heard, and they skate around in silence for a while, still with their arms linked. 

"I read them," Kurt says after a while. "I just didn't know how to respond." 

"To a simple text asking how you were? It's not that complex, Kurt." 

"Maybe not to you." 

"I wanna do that," Blaine says suddenly.

"Do what?" 

"That," he says, pointing over to where a couple dance together on the ice, the girl laughing as her boyfriend twirls her under his arm. "I wanna twirl like that."

"Find someone to do it with then," Kurt snaps, and with that, he wrenches his arm free and flies off, leaving Blaine in the middle of the ice and perilously close to the group of teenagers. 

"Kurt!" he hollers across the ice, which of course only brings attention to him. "Kurt! Get back here!" 

Blaine is stranded. He can't move for fear of falling, and there are too many people milling about for him to even try. "Gay boy! What's up? Has your boyfriend left you?"

He didn't even realize Max and Simon were in the group, until he hears them, laughing and making fun of him. He bites his lip hard and pushes down on the ice, knowing he has to move before he cries, but his unsteadiness just makes the group laugh, as he holds out his hands to try and find balance. 

"What's up Blainey? You can't skate? Really? Oh dear!" 

Blaine tries to keep his breathing even and calm, but he feels as though everyone is looking at him as he stumbles and falls onto his hands and knees. He can't get up, having nothing to use for leverage, and he feels the first humiliating tear fall as he starts to crawl across the ice to the barrier on the other side. 

Strong arms come around him from behind, hauling him to his feet, and he's grateful for the assistance. He stands on shaking legs, not daring to look at his rescuer, but he knows it's Kurt from the rental skates that come into his line of vision, and the gentle gloved finger that lifts his chin. "I've got you," is all he says, then twirls Blaine under his arm, catching him as he stumbles, and holding him tight in his arms. "Oh Blaine," he sighs, and he can't help but hug him, sinking into his embrace as Blaine hugs him back fiercely- not even caring that they're in the middle of the ice rink. "I've missed you so much." 

His words cause Blaine to pull back, not knowing what to say or do, and he scuffs at the ice with the blade of his skate. "Can you...I just need to get over there," he says quietly. "If you could help me, and then I'll wait by the car until you're done." 

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?"

"Please don't, Kurt," he whispers, shaking his head. "Just...please just get me off the ice now." 

"Come on," Kurt says, sliding one arm around his waist and guiding him to the edge. "I'll buy you hot chocolate." 

Blaine doesn't protest, but lets himself be guided around the other side of the rink to sit on a small bench, while Kurt skates back over to get them their drinks. He reappears and hands Blaine a steaming paper cup, sitting down next to him with a sigh. "I'm sorry. I was out of line." 

"I don't want to be kissed just to piss people off."

"That wasn't..."

"It might be fun for you, but I've got to live with two of them, and go to school with the rest."

"Blaine, I wanted to kiss you because you're fucking beautiful, and seeing you again hurts me. It wasn't to piss anyone off or cause trouble, it's because you're all I ever think about." 

"Oh." Blaine sits stunned, not really sure how to react, but all he does know is that his insides are flipping over with delight. "You know what to do about it then." 

"I can't, Blaine," Kurt says sadly. "I just can't."

"Why?" 

"Because I'm horrible and I'm bitter and I'm twisted. You're right, I should stay home. I should sit on my couch watching tv, skyping with you and dad until the next time I can come home. I should buy you cute little cards and mail them to you, just to make you smile. I should call dad to check on him when they give a weather warning for Ohio, and I should wrap myself up in you and forget about anyone and everything else, but I just can't. I just can't." 

"But why? I don't mean to be persistent, but I haven’t stopped thinking about you either, which is why I've been texting. To be honest, for every text I've sent, there have been a hundred more I've deleted. All you've described, that's what I want." 

"I know it is, and that's the problem!" 

"Huh?"

"It's what we both want and need but I'll fuck it up, Blaine! I fuck everything up. Look at the way I treat dad. Does he deserve any of that? But I do it anyway. You're too young to deal with having a boyfriend like me. I'd break your heart, and I'm sorry, but I can't have that on my conscience." 

Blaine sips his hot chocolate slowly, and looks out over the ice. He can feel Max and Simon's hatred even from this distance, and he knows that whatever happens between him and Kurt, he will always feel infinitely more at home around him than anyone else. "I want us to be friends though," he says after a time. "I mean....I kinda wanna jump you....or be jumped by you, maybe, but if that's not gonna happen, I'd still like us to be friends." 

"Not lovers?"

"No."

"Friends then," Kurt agrees, pulling him into another hug. "Always."


	15. Chapter 15

"Blaine!" 

Blaine sits up with a start, struggling to remember where he is, but then Burt yells again. "Blaine! Get up here! Santa's been here!" 

Laughing to himself, Blaine uses the bathroom quickly, then heads upstairs to find Kurt arriving in the hallway at the same time, still in his pajamas and with his hair wild. "I got the same awakening," he says to Blaine with a smile. "You should be warned you'll probably still get the same treatment when you're forty. Merry Christmas, by the way." 

"Yeah, you too," Blaine says happily, and surprises Kurt by giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, before they both wander into the kitchen in search of Burt. 

"Mornin' boys!" Burt says happily, catching them both and slinging his arms around them. "And Merry Christmas. Now, last night was just how it's supposed to be, yeah? So let's have the same today, starting with breakfast." 

Blaine is happy at last, joking around with Kurt during breakfast and even going so far as to steal the last piece of bacon off his plate when he's not looking, which makes Burt laugh. Since the ice skating, he and Kurt had agreed on friends. The attraction was still there, but it had managed to take a back seat, and with that weight lifted, Kurt had been more relaxed and carefree. The trio had worked on Bessie for a few hours, then ordered pizza and watched another movie, before playing board games well into the early hours, and the Christmas Blaine had been dreading was fast becoming the magical one he would have wanted. Though he was inevitably sad about his dad's absence, he was overjoyed that he and Kurt seemed to have solved their issues, and could make Burt smile so widely as he watched them goofing around. 

"Give it back," Kurt says with a grin, and Blaine shrugs innocently. 

"Give what back?"

"My bacon. I know you took it." 

"Do you see any bacon on my plate?" 

"You...you'd better not have eaten it, Anderson!" Kurt cries. "I'll get you for that!"

"I have to shower and get dressed," Blaine grins as he pushes back his chair, and standing, pats his stomach. "All that bacon. Yummy." 

"Alright, that's it!" Kurt laughs, and jumps up, tearing down the stairs after Blaine to his basement room, catching him around the waist and pinning him down on the unmade pullout couch. "Bacon thief," is all he can think to say, as he lies on top of Blaine and suddenly realizes how close they are. 

"Not sorry." 

"You should be," Kurt says, returning Blaine's smile as their fingers lock together without either of them noticing. 

"This is..." Blaine starts, and Kurt talks at the same time.

"We should...well, we shouldn't be um..." 

"No," Blaine says, though neither one makes to move. They just stay there, staring into one another's eyes, and sharing a moment that is suddenly so charged it becomes impossible to look away. "You're just in pajamas," Blaine says in a hoarse whisper. "I can feel you." 

"Blaine," Kurt moans as the inevitable happens and he begins to harden against him. "You can't say stuff like that." 

"I'm the same." 

"I know you are but...." 

"I lose all sense when I'm close to you like this." 

"How do you mean?"

"I want you to kiss me," Blaine admits. "I want you to undress me and...I don't know. Do whatever you want to me, really." 

"Oh god, Blaine, I want to, really, but we said..." 

"No kissing!" Burt booms down the stairs, and Kurt pulls away seconds before he can give in. "You two kissing ruins everything. Kurt! Leave Blaine alone to get dressed." 

"Well, there's the answer," Kurt says with a rueful smile, but when he looks to Blaine he is smiling too, and suddenly he doesn't feel so bad. "I'll go get dressed," he says, standing and stretching. "And if you wouldn't mind staring at the wall all day so I don't have to look at that pretty face, I'd be eternally grateful." 

*

Blaine arrives in the living room, casting a shy glance in Kurt's direction, who smiles and looks at the floor. He looks so cute, in his thick red cardigan with a holiday bow tie at his neck, that Kurt finds himself grateful. He looks young, and that makes it easier on himself to watch him as he settles on the floor near the tree, and Burt picks up a gift and hands it to him. 

"Merry Christmas, kid. That pile's yours, that one is Kurt's. Go for it." 

"All of them?" Blaine asks in surprise. "They're all mine?" 

"All yours," Burt says happily, settling back in the armchair to watch. 

Shirts, socks, books about engines...Blaine unwraps it all, until a small pile of gifts sits at his feet, and he jumps up to hug Burt, completely overwhelmed. "Thank you," he whispers, feeling close to tears. "You didn't have to do all that." 

"I did," Burt says, hugging him back hard. "Cause you're my boy. There's more, anyway," he says, reaching behind the tree for another package. "You and Kurt have the same, so open them together." 

"We what?" Kurt asks with a raised eyebrow. "How and why do we have the same? In what possible world would we want the same gift?" 

"Just open it," Burt says, rolling his eyes. 

"Oh no," Kurt says as he pulls a navy coverall from the box. "No, no, no, dad, you did not."

"Look on 'em," Burt says proudly.

Blaine opens his up, catching the matching baseball cap as Kurt does the same. Their names are on the front, and 'Team Bessie' across the back. "And look!" Burt says excitedly. "I got the same!" 

Kurt holds his head in his hands, laughing in spite of himself. "You couldn't help yourself, could you?" 

"Nope," Burt grins. "I knew I wanted to get Blaine his own coveralls, and then I figured we could all get the same, you know? So we're like a family team." 

"I love them!" Blaine says happily as he takes his cardigan off, and pulls them on over the rest of his clothes. "Kurt, try yours on too." 

"No way!" 

"Yes way," Blaine laughs, throwing them at him. "Then we can get a picture." 

"Ugh. Fine." Throwing his hands up in the air, Kurt does as he's told, and poses for a picture with Blaine that he's pretty sure will be framed and hanging on the wall the next time he comes home. He's not entirely sure how he feels about that. "You look cute in your cap," he blurts at Blaine when Burt steps out of the room, then he blushes profusely and wonders why he's acting like a fifteen year old. 

"So do you." 

"I was aiming for hot." 

"You got cute," Blaine says, taking a step closer. 

"Blaine are you....we said not lovers, didn't we?"

"We did." Blaine's hands come up, resting lightly on Kurt's hips, his eyes searching. 

"So what are you....what is this?" 

"I want to win your heart." 

"Blaine...." 

"Give me a chance, Kurt, please. I'd be the best boyfriend to you, I swear." 

"I know you would," Kurt sighs, letting his hand run gently over his cheek. "But I can't. I told you, I'm happy to be yours in Ohio but..." 

"No." Blaine's voice turns hard as he steps away. "Do you like...even care about me?" 

"You know I do!"

"I don't," Blaine argues back. "Because if you did, I don't think you'd want me as a lover. You'd want me as a boyfriend so no one else could have me, and you would want to share a commitment with me that no one else could have. If you really cared, Kurt, you wouldn't ignore me for five weeks when you knew how much I needed to hear from you." 

"Don't start with me," Kurt snarls, coming right up into Blaine's face in anger. "You will not back me into a corner, Blaine. I told you where I am with everything, now just leave me alone and get the fuck out of my face." 

Blaine walks from the room and down to the basement, stunned at how quickly Kurt can turn from adorably happy and cute, to snarling angry and bitter. He's so tempted to give in, to say yes to what Kurt is asking, but he knows he can't. For a start, wondering what Kurt was up to in New York would drive him mad, and he's not sure he could accept him back into his bed if he knew he'd been with others. Then there's the unfairness of it all. Kurt knows he wouldn't have others, he knows he'd have nothing to worry about, so he gets the best of everything, while Blaine loses out yet again. 

Stealing himself for the inevitable coldness, Blaine takes his coveralls off, folding them neatly, and heads back upstairs. "I have gifts," he says as brightly as he can, and hands Burt a package and Kurt a small box. 

"Now that's enthusiasm for ya," Burt laughs as he unwraps the Buick key ring and baseball cap. "This year, eh son? We'll get her going this year, I promise." 

"This year is almost over," Kurt retorts, but Burt just ignores him.

Blaine watches carefully as Kurt turns the small box over in his hands a few times, and then lifts the lid. His first reaction is one of sheer delight and surprise, to see a teal green bow tie nestled inside, and even though he shuts his emotions down immediately, Blaine has seen it, and that's all that matters. 

"I don't wear bow ties." 

"I know that, but it matches the suit you wore when we....well anyway, I thought you'd like it." 

"Thank you." 

Blaine senses that's all that's going to be said, so he gives a nod and slides another gift across to him. "I missed your birthday so..." 

Again, Kurt smiles fleetingly when he unwraps a small framed drawing of Bessie. It's the same as the photo Burt has hanging in the garage, an indication of what she will look like when she's done. "Nice," Kurt says with a small nod, passing it across and showing it to his dad. "Where did you find it?" 

"I drew it."

"Hold up," Burt declared loudly. "You drew that? Holy crap Blaine! That's amazing! Kurt! Blaine drew this!"

"Yeah, I heard," Kurt mumbles, taking the picture back and looking at it again. "It's really good, Blaine. Thanks." 

"You uh...you don't have to put it up or anything. It was just...." 

"Here," Kurt says, holding out a package to him. "Merry Christmas." 

He surprises Blaine again by moving to sit next to him on the floor, and Blaine also notices how Burt leans forward in his chair, watching them both intently, so it is with some trepidation that he opens the gift. 

It is a model airplane kit; a spitfire exactly like the one Blaine had made with his dad, that Max had crushed under his foot. He knows he told Kurt of the incident the first night he was invited for pizza, but he never in a million years expected him to remember. It's been so long since he has actually allowed himself to get the planes out of the box he hides them in at the back of his closet, that seeing one, even if only in kit form, brings with it a flood of memories and emotions that he's just not ready for. He can't comprehend the meaning behind Kurt's gift, or even begin to think how he feels about it, because he's suddenly hit with a wave of longing for his dad that he's been keeping hidden for so long, he'd almost convinced himself he was over his death completely. 

"It's um...is it the right one?" Kurt asks quietly, placing a gentle hand on his knee. He hopes Blaine can grasp what it is he's trying to say. A massive thank you, first of all, for the sweet and thoughtful gifts, but also so much more. I care, maybe? I'm here? Don't give up on me because I'm trying, Blaine, I really am.

The last part for sure, but when he looks at Blaine, he notices how he is shaking, biting his lip before he sets the box carefully on the floor. "It's the right one, yeah," he whispers. "Thanks." 

"We could make it together, if you wanted? Tonight? The three of us, maybe." 

"Could you just...I have to..." Blaine says suddenly, in a voice that really doesn't sound like his. He gets to his feet quickly, shaking his head as he runs from the room and down the stairs to his basement retreat. 

"Should I go after him?" Kurt asks his dad, but Burt shakes his head. 

"Leave him a while. Kid needs to have a really good cry, and I don't think he'll feel comfortable enough to do that with either of us around." 

"Did I do something wrong?" 

"No. Well....not regarding the gift, anyway. I think he's just missing his old man."

"So what did I do wrong then?" 

"It's just...well it's both of you. I know I said work out what you're doing, but you haven't, have you?" 

"We have. We're friends." 

"For the time being. Kurt, listen to me. Blaine needs a friend like you, but only if you're gonna give yourself to the friendship and not hold back."

"I know," Kurt sighs, playing with the airplane box. "Trouble is, I like him so much more than just a friend."

Burt ponders his answers for a moment, and the way he keeps his head bowed when discussing his emotions. "You don't always have to shut yourself down, you know. You can be yourself. It's okay to put yourself out there, to get hurt and pick yourself back up. It's part of life." 

But Kurt shakes his head, frowning. "It's too... I just...." He breaks off, and Burt settles on the floor next to him as he realizes how much he's struggling. "I need to work out what I want out of my life," he says with a sigh. "Where I'm going with it all, before I can figure out if Blaine fits. I can feel myself falling and I'm powerless to stop it. I know what he wants, but I'm so scared of giving it, dad. I'm so scared." 

"It's okay," Burt says, pulling him into his embrace and kissing into his hair. "It's okay to be scared, Kurt, but let Blaine know, because I have a feeling he'd wait for you." 

"You think?" 

"Yeah I do. Go see if he's okay. Offer him a hug. It's not my place right now. He needs his dad and I'm a poor substitute." 

"I don't know about that," Kurt says, hugging him tight. "You've served me pretty well, but yeah. I'll go check on him." 

Blaine lies face down on his pull out, crying the kind of silent tears that tear through your soul. His whole body shakes, and for a while, Kurt just stands there, watching. The last time he saw anyone cry that hard was when he walked into his dad's room after his mom's funeral, and for a second he is transported back to his seven year old self, with the same feelings of helplessness, fright and despair settling over him. 

There is nothing else to do except sit on the edge of the bed, and place a gentle hand to Blaine's shoulder, and he's taken aback when Blaine sits up and throws himself into Kurt's arms, crying desperately. 

Kurt's instinct is to run. He doesn't do heightened emotion from others in any form, not over hysterical laughter, or angry screaming or shouting, and he certainly doesn't do crying sixteen year old boys, wrapped around his neck like they're scared of letting go. He doesn't know what to say, and he's pretty sure anything he does say will only make Blaine feel worse, and yet he finds himself not only holding him, but comforting and soothing him, as he rubs his hands over his back and tries to calm him again and again.

"I can't do this anymore!" Blaine sobs, and Kurt doesn't even care that his Vivienne Westwood shirt is getting ruined by his tears as he tugs him closer. 

"I want him b..b..back," he says through heaving breaths. "I want him here with me. I haven't got anyone, Kurt. I'm so alone and they all hate me. Even my mom. My mom hates me and she wishes I'd died too, I know she does."

"Blaine, that's not true," Kurt says, holding his face firmly in his hands when he tries to deny it. "You listen to me. Your mom does love you, I know she does. She's a little misguided maybe, but you're still her boy. I can't bring him back, Blaine. I wish I could. But I do know how you're feeling and...and...well you've got me, haven't you? Me and dad. Always, I swear. We're never gonna let you go, Blaine." 

"They call me Blainey," he sniffs, too overcome to listen to what Kurt is saying. "And I hate it. I hate it because that's what my dad used to call me. Blainey boy. It was cute, you know? I was a little kid. And now they've taken it and ruined it." 

"Don't let them," Kurt urges. "Don't let them take anything, Blaine. Close yourself off from it all, and become bigger and better and harder than them." 

"Ha! Is that what you did, Kurt?" Blaine spits, filled with bitterness as he pulls out of his embrace and sits alone. "Is that what happened? They were so awful to you that you decided not to feel? Thanks, but I think I'd rather live my life with some emotion than become as cold as you." 

"Wow." Kurt lets out a low whistle and stands, shaking his head. "You know what? I'm trying, Blaine. Really, I am. My heart broke when you took off like that, and I came to you because I wanted to hold you in my arms. I'm sorry, but that doesn't seem cold to me. Yes, most of the time I'm pretty damn heartless, but not for you, Blaine, never for you. Anyway." He gives a sad little shrug as Blaine looks at him, and heads toward the stairs. "Come up when you're ready." 

"I'm sorry," Blaine calls, getting to his feet. "I'm sorry, that was really unkind and I just..." He stops, trailing off as he stands in front of Kurt. He tries to keep eye contact, but it's hard, when his lips are just there, waiting, and before he can think too deeply about it, Blaine surges forward, all his hurt, pain and desire manifesting itself in a kiss which has Kurt stumbling back against the wall for a second, before his arms come around Blaine's waist, and he kisses back just as hungrily, whimpering at the feel of Blaine's hands framing his face, tilting his head so he can deepen the kiss and let his tongue tease over Kurt's mouth. 

The passionate response from Kurt has Blaine hardening in moments, and then Kurt wraps a leg around Blaine's waist, using the wall for support and both moan into one another's mouths, desperate with their longing. 

"Oh god," Kurt pants, when the kiss breaks and Blaine moves his lips to trail down his neck. "Oh god, Blaine, we should...we should..." 

"I know," he murmurs, his lips never leaving Kurt's skin. "This is a really bad idea, I know but...oh...." 

"You're upset," Kurt says with a gentle nudge to his shoulder. "It's not the right time...." 

"I need you." 

"I know." Kurt is more forceful this time, pushing at Blaine's chest and making him back away. "I know you do, and I'm happy to be here for you, but kissing like this is a bad idea, trust me." 

"What if it's what I want?" 

"I don't think it is," Kurt says kindly, rubbing a hand over his cheek. "Not right now, anyhow. Come upstairs with me and let me hold you on the couch. We won't be quite as tempted with dad sitting there." 

Blaine lets out a breath, letting his head fall forward onto Kurt's shoulder. "You're right. I'm sorry...again." 

"Don't be sorry," Kurt says as lightly as he can. "Kissing you is the hottest thing I've ever experienced." 

"What? Really? No. You're just messing with me," Blaine decides. 

"Really," Kurt grins, and leans in to kiss at his lips again. "So there." 

The kiss wasn't a bad idea, Blaine realizes as the day wears on. It seemed to break something in both of them which enabled them to be much more free and easy around one another. Kurt sits on the couch, his arm protectively around Blaine's shoulder, and when they settle back to watch a movie, Blaine relaxes even more, resting his head on Kurt's shoulder and letting his hand smooth over Kurt's thigh. 

Burt notices, of course. He's no fool. But for now, both seem happy and content, and though Blaine is obviously still upset, he's happy Kurt can be there for him and give him the support he needs. 

After dinner, Blaine surprises everyone by arriving in the den, shyly holding his model airplane kit. "Could we...uh...maybe start on this? I mean, we can't finish it all today because it's complex but.."

"You sure?" Kurt asks as he stands.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Blaine replies quietly, looking anything but. "Burt? You coming?" 

"I'm good. You two do it," Burt says lightly, pretending to be engrossed in the tv.

"I want you to build it with us though," Blaine says honestly, and Burt switches the tv off and turns to face him. "Please. I'd really like it. I mean, it should be a family project, right?" 

There's no mistaking Burt's pleasure at his words, as he stands and claps him on the back. "C'mon then sunshine. Let's build a plane." 

*

"I can't see straight anymore," Kurt whines, as he sets the tiny tube of glue down on the table. 

"Nothing about you's straight, boy," Burt mutters, squinting as he tries to join two tiny pieces of wood together. "Use Blaine's glasses." 

"Nope," Kurt grins, resting his chin on his palm to gaze across at Blaine. "Blaine's glasses can stay exactly where they are." 

If Blaine hears, he lets it slide, but Kurt has never seen him so wrapped up in something before, so there's a good chance he's not even listening. When the glasses had first appeared, Kurt had nearly fallen off his chair. They were proper geeky spectacles, and yet they made Blaine seem hotter than ever. The concentration as he carefully laid out all the pieces and explained what they all were, was sending Kurt into a spiral of feelings that he never thought he'd get from watching a sixteen year old gluing bits of wood together. 

"I'm done," Kurt announces suddenly, deciding now is a good time to go take a very long shower. "It's one in the morning, and I need sleep before going back tomorrow." 

"You're going back?" Blaine asks suddenly, dropping the plane pieces and looking up. "I didn't know that." 

"New Years," Kurt explains, feeling almost guilty. "A um...a friend is having a party and..." 

"Jeremy?"

Burt looks up sharply at the name, watching the pair as they seem to engage in a silent battle of wills, until Kurt breaks the eye contact and looks away. "It's... I just need to be back, okay?" 

"Okay," Blaine says with a shrug. "I was gonna invite you to a party here, but hey, New York is where it's at, I guess." 

"A party? What party?" Kurt asks with a frown. "You don't seem like the party type, Blaine." 

"I'm not," he says, feeling embarrassed. "There's this Australian girl in my math group, Karin. She's having a New Years party and I feel like I should go, that's all. She's Australian."

"So you said. But why do you feel compelled to go just because she's Australian?" 

"I don't. I just... It doesn't matter anyway," Blaine sighs, his cheeks flaming. "You won't be here, so I'll go on my own." 

"I thought you had friends?"

"I do, but Sam is in Kentucky. Tina and Mike will go, but they're a couple so..."

"So you were only asking me to make up numbers. Nice," Kurt bites, scraping back his chair and walking from the room. "As if I'd go to a high school party anyway." 

"It's not..." Blaine starts to call after him, but Kurt is gone. "It wasn't meant to sound like that," Blaine tells Burt weakly. 

"I know that, kid," Burt sighs, shaking his head. "And so does he. He's probably annoyed because he's gotta go back." 

"He's so weird." 

Burt laughs, setting the pieces on the table and standing up. "He is, you're right. Don't give up on him though, okay? He'll be worth it in the end." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means," Burt says, tugging Blaine to his feet and hugging him tight. "That it's your bedtime. We can work more on this tomorrow, and when it's finished, you might like to keep it here, so it's safe." 

Blaine goes to bed with a heavy heart. On the one hand it's been a good day. Certainly both Burt and Kurt have let it be known how much they care for him, and count him as part of their family, but on the other, Kurt has been hurtful at times, and Blaine is more confused than ever about where he stands. 

He knew more tears would come as soon as he's alone in the dark, but they're the silent type that leak out as he thinks back to this time last year, when he had spent Christmas night sleeping on the floor of his dad's room, knowing he was close to the end. He had then stayed there every night for the next three weeks, scared that if he closed the door to his own room, he'd be gone. If he really thought hard, he could almost feel the touch of his hand on his, and remember the way he used to smile, even when he was feeling so sick. 

"Blaine?"

"Holy shit!" Blaine sits upright at the sound of Kurt's voice in the darkness, looking in what he hopes is the right direction. "How did you get down here?" 

"I know which stairs creak and which don't," Kurt says proudly, and Blaine hears his voice getting closer until his outline comes into view. "Can I sit down?" 

“I guess.”

“Are you crying? Did I make you...”

“No. A little, maybe,” Blaine says with a shrug, drawing his knees up to his chest. “I was thinking about my dad, really. I get confused.”

Kurt shifts to sit in the middle of the bed, tucking his legs up under him. “How so?”

“Well, obviously this time last year, I was hyper aware that he was gonna die, and soon. I was also worrying constantly about my mom, where she was going whenever she left the house, if she was gonna leave us. It was terrible.”

“I can imagine.”

“So now this year, she’s remarried and all of that side of it is awful, yeah? In that regard things got a whole lot worse after he died, I guess. Then there’s you and your dad. If none of this had happened, if dad hadn’t died, if mom hadn’t shown her true colors, I’d never have met you two. I guess I struggle to reconcile the fact that the worst thing to ever happen to me also brought me the best two things I could have ever wished for.”

“Three,” Kurt corrects gently. “Bessie has feelings too, y’know.”

Blaine smiles softly, and finds himself grateful when Kurt’s hand finds his in the dim moonlight, his thumb smoothing gently over Blaine’s palm. 

“I guess I know where you’re coming from,” Kurt says eventually. “I mean, when we lost mom it was so bad. I mean, really awful. I was scared to be left alone with dad, as I felt like he didn’t understand me, and I honestly think he didn’t know what to do with me. But then...yeah. Her passing made me and dad so close, and I wouldn’t have got that otherwise. I don’t know. Life’s a funny game really, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Blaine agrees.

“I think that’s the best I can come up with,” Kurt admits. “I’d like to be able to offer some sage wisdom on the subject, but I can’t. I can only say I’m glad you came into our lives, and I know dad is too.”

“Thank you.”

“I really only came down to thank you properly for my gifts,” Kurt carries on. “I didn’t really say too much at the time, but I love them. The bow tie will always make me think of you. It’s like...I don’t know...the cutest gift, really.”

“You don’t have to wear it.”

“I will though,” Kurt insists. 

“For Jeremy?”

“I wouldn’t ever let him see it. It’s too special.”

“Are you still seeing him?”

“Not really. Not as much as I did, anyhow. It’s...there’s this curly haired moron that gets in the way of everything,” Kurt admits with a sigh. 

“You’d better be referring to me, even if you are calling me a moron.”

“Yes, Blaine,” Kurt laughs. “I’m talking about you.”

“Do you um...Do you want to stay here tonight? Just...to hold each other, maybe?”

Kurt doesn’t need any further invitation, sliding under the covers and settling himself back against the pillows. “Yes.”

“So I see,” Blaine laughs. “Make yourself at home.”

“Shut up and get in,” Kurt orders, and Blaine gets under the covers and reaches for Kurt in the darkness. It feels strange, having Blaine spooned behind him, holding him tight, when usually he is so in command of everything. Even so, he finds himself relaxing in his hold, and smiling at the gentle kiss to his cheek. 

“Night, Kurt. You’re weird as hell, but gosh, I do love cuddling with you.”

“That is the most backhanded compliment I have ever received,” Kurt laughs, bringing Blaine’s hand up to his lips to kiss it. “But also the best. Goodnight, Blaine.”


	16. Chapter 16

Blaine wasn't expecting to hear from Kurt again after their awkward hug and kiss on the cheek the morning after. He had practically run back across the road, shutting himself away in his room which overlooked the back of the house, so he didn't have to watch Kurt driving away. He'd spent the days since eating breakfast with Burt before the pair headed to the shop for the day, where they talked about anything and everything, but never Kurt. Blaine didn't even text, knowing it was futile, because the Kurt in New York seems determined to have nothing to do with anything in Ohio. 

"So I'm not going to this party tonight," Blaine tells Burt over their New Year's Eve breakfast. "I thought maybe I could come here? We could finish off the plane?" 

"Oh." Burt swallows the remainder of his orange juice, and wipes the corner of his mouth on his napkin. "I have a date. Sorry, kid. You can still come over though, if you want to escape." 

"Um..no, it's fine," Blaine says, hoping his disappointment isn't evident. 

"Sorry. I thought you were going to the party, otherwise I wouldn't have said yes to Belinda." 

"Belinda. Is that the ice skating lady?"

"Nope. A different one," Burt says with a grin, and Blaine wonders again if it's a case of like father like son. 

"Right, well, have fun," Blaine says with an overly bright smile. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do." 

"Think about that for a moment," Burt says with a laugh as he collects their plates. "Come on. Work calls." 

*  
After completing his first oil change by himself, Blaine leaves work feeling happy and fulfilled, until he thinks about spending New Years sitting alone in his room, while Kurt lives it up at some kind of gay orgy. He knows he said party, but that's what he's built it up to be in his mind. 

His car takes forever to get going, and he wonders how long it will be before it gives up altogether. He's hoping it will last until he goes to college at least, because he sure can't afford another one right now. It makes another disturbing noise as he turns onto his street, and he's pretty sure he's going to have to bite the bullet and ask Burt to look at it for him some time soon. 

"Sucks," he mutters to himself as he pulls open his door, and finds Kurt sitting on his porch, waiting. 

"Hey."

"What are you doing here?" Blaine asks in surprise, and though he should be mad at the whole no contact thing, he bounds up the steps eagerly and finds himself hugging him tightly. 

"Oof," Kurt lets out, before laughing and hugging him back. "I don't really know," he admits when he pulls back and tugs on his jacket. "Some Australian is having a party and I felt like I should go, you know, having never met an Australian before." 

Blaine's grin is massive, and he leans back and looks up at the sky, as if thanking some invisible presence, before doing a funny kind of dance which makes Kurt laugh. "You...you came back for me?" 

"Meh. Some moron I know. I'm kinda hoping to kiss him at midnight though, if he'll let me." 

"Oh, I think he will," Blaine says happily, then takes Kurt off guard by picking him up and twirling him around. "He might even let you kiss him right now." 

"On your porch?" Kurt asks, though he can't resist winding his arms around Blaine's neck, his fingers tangling seductively into his hair. "What if.....?"

"I don't care." 

"You're covered in oil."

"I don't care about that either," Blaine grins, then purses his lips to make Kurt laugh. 

"Damn boy. You got me," he smiles, then draws him close. "You get more beautiful each time I see you," he whispers as he studies his face. Blaine is growing up, there's no doubt. His jaw line is hardening, a shadow of stubble over his cheeks. Kurt's eyes lock on his, and for a second he's overwhelmed with how right it feels, having panicked the entire way home over what all this meant exactly. Right now, in Blaine's arms, and seconds away from closing that small gap between them, Kurt belongs. 

Tilting his head, he gently brings his lips to Blaine's in a soft kiss. He smiles when Blaine gasps and lets his eyes flutter closed, then he lets his hand come around to cup under Blaine's ear, tilting him to just the right angle for the kiss to deepen. He can taste peppermint and coffee on Blaine's breath as they open their mouths wider, and he can't ever remember having tasted a kiss before, but there it is again as Blaine's tongue brushes over his and the sensation makes him moan loudly, pressing his body closer to Blaine, who tightens his grip on Kurt's waist. 

Kurt doesn't ever want the kiss to end, but eventually it does, simply because Blaine is grinning too much for it to continue. "Stop smiling," Kurt laughs against his mouth. "All I'm getting is teeth." 

"You came back for me." 

"I will deny all knowledge." 

"Whatever. You so did," Blaine says blissfully, still grinning. 

"Seriously Blaine," Kurt says, kissing his teeth. "Stop it." 

"I can't help it." 

Kurt pulls him close again, and kisses along his jaw instead, until he can tug his earlobe with his teeth. Blaine's reaction makes the hefty cost of a last minute flight completely worth it, he thinks to himself, as Blaine eventually calms and finds his lips with his own once more. Kissing Blaine makes it totally worth it. Holding Blaine makes it totally worth it...anything to do with Blaine makes pretty much anything worthwhile, he decides, as he silently vows to give in and surrender to Blaine completely for the next few days, if he'll have him.

As their kissing becomes more passionate, right there on his front porch, Blaine decides that for New Years at least, he is Kurt's. No questions, no worrying about what the future might bring. This has been building for a long time, and keeping things chaste over Christmas was agonising, but now, all those barriers have been torn down by Kurt turning up and openly declaring he had only come back for him. He knows this is his biggest and best chance to win Kurt over completely, so what the hell, he's going to try his best. 

"You wanna come in?" he asks, breaking the kiss suddenly. 

"Um...well...is that a good idea?" Kurt asks warily. "Your step dad..."

"Please don't call him that," Blaine says, frowning momentarily. "Anyway, I don't care. I'm not ashamed of you, Kurt. How could I be? Have you seen you?" 

"Well you have a point," Kurt says with a shrug, then nudges Blaine's shoulder and takes his hand. "C'mon then." 

Blaine isn't surprised he gets yelled at the second the door opens. He is always ignored unless they deem he's done something wrong, and obviously now, in Spencer's eyes, he's done something very wrong indeed. 

"I told you to keep your faggot ways out of my home!" Spencer storms, then draws up short at the sight of Kurt standing there holding Blaine's hand. 

"Hello, Mr. Lane," Kurt says politely. "How nice to see you again."

"What the...?" Spencer starts, but he's cut off by the arrival of Angie behind him. 

"Blaine dear, who is this?" 

"This is Kurt," Blaine answers tightly, even though she knows full well who he is. "Burt's son." 

"And this?" she asks, gesturing to their clasped hands. "What is this all about?" 

"Um..well..we..." Blaine trails off, feeling useless. His heart beats rapidly and his mouth is dry as he stares at the floor, and tries not to look at Spencer, who has his hands balled into fists. 

"It's exactly what you think it's about, Mrs. Lane," Kurt says, still polite and calm. "We have a date tonight, so Blaine's just gonna grab some stuff then we'll head over to dad's. Have a happy new year," he smiles brightly, then urges Blaine to move toward the stairs, which he does, suddenly coming to life and tugging him into his room, where he closes the door and slides the bolt into place. 

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god," he rushes out, leaning back against the door. "Oh my god." Covering his face with his hands, he lets his head fall back with a thump. "I don't know whether to laugh or cry." 

"Neither," Kurt tells him. "Get over here and kiss me instead." 

Blaine takes his hands away and opens his eyes. Kurt has wasted no time in taking his coat and boots off, and now lies back against Blaine's pillows looking sensational in black jeans and a red sweater, which seems to have some kind of pattern on it involving zippers and buttons. "Take that off," Blaine says, gesturing to the top. "I'll get all tangled up." 

Kurt laughs and pulls the sweater over his head, wondering how he would react if anyone else spoke to him like that. "Better?" he asks, lying down again in his white tank.

"Much," Blaine grins, pulling off his coveralls, which leaves him in just boxers and a white undershirt. Crawling onto the bed, he drapes himself over Kurt, propped on one elbow. "So."

Kurt smiles, unable to resist running a hand through Blaine's hair and breaking the gel apart. "So." 

"I'm gonna kiss you now." 

"That would be most welcome," Kurt teases back. "Since I'm totally turned on right now." 

"You are? Why?" 

"What do you mean, why?" Kurt cries, gesturing down to their bodies. "Aren't you?" 

"I'm always turned on when it comes to you," Blaine admits. "Which is why I'm gonna take full advantage of you being underneath me." 

"Please do." 

This time when they kiss there is no holding back. Perhaps Blaine is spurred on by the thought of pissing the whole house off with his actions, but more than likely it is Kurt that makes him rampant with desire, and causes him to kiss him hard, grinding his body down against him, and not caring one bit that they're moving too fast. 

"Clothes," he gasps out, his hand sliding up under Kurt's tank top, searching out his smooth skin. "Too many. Get 'em off." 

"Here? Blaine....we should take this across the road. My house is empty." 

"I need to touch you," Blaine breathes hotly against his neck. "I need to feel you." 

Kurt wants to resist, to tell him to hold off, but he's hard and desperate, and when Blaine slides his hand down the front of his jeans, that's all it takes for Kurt to fumble with his fly, tugging them down to his knees, and groaning with relief at the feel of Blaine's palm over the front of his underwear. "Yes Blaine....oh god...." 

Blaine breaks off to pull his undershirt over his head, followed by Kurt's, but then he's back to kissing him, alternating between his lips and neck, where he sucks hard as he grinds himself against Kurt, feeling the hard outline of his cock through his underwear. "Kurt...I need you inside me," he gasps, grinding harder and faster. "It's all I can think about. You. Taking me like that." 

"Blaine," Kurt warns. "Blaine stop with the talking, I'm about to..." 

"I wanna feel you, filling me up, coming inside me." 

"Blaine!"

"Bend me over, Kurt. Fuck me. Make me yours." 

"Fuck!" Kurt cries, bucking up underneath Blaine as he orgasms uncontrollably, his whole body jerking off the bed and shuddering. "Fuck, fuck....fuck," he finishes weakly. 

He's vaguely aware of Blaine still rutting against him, until he too quivers and moans against Kurt's neck, then gradually slows until he stops moving altogether, his body pressed tight against Kurt, their hearts racing. 

"Damn that was quick," Blaine says quietly. "Sorry. I meant for...well...I don't know what I meant for, since I wasn't expecting you here, but..."

"I couldn't hold off," Kurt murmurs, and Blaine is touched by his tenderness as he kisses into his hair and seems to cradle him against his chest. "So I'm sorry too." 

"We could do it all again though," Blaine muses, letting his hand smooth over Kurt's chest. It feels so right to be like this, and even in wet and sticky underwear, with his head resting on Kurt's shoulder, his whole body draped over him and Kurt's arms protectively wrapped around him, there's nowhere else he'd rather be. 

"I guess we could," Kurt sighs in mock annoyance. "If you insist." 

"I do."

They're silent and still for a long time, and Blaine wonders if Kurt has fallen asleep, given the deep, even breathing, but then he suddenly starts to laugh, making Blaine's body shake on top of him, and he looks up, resting his chin on his hands and smiling at the way his eyes crinkle. "What? What's funny?" 

"I was just...oh god. I was just thinking about your family, the conversation we had downstairs, and then I was thinking about the inevitable conversation when we go back down..." he breaks off, laughing harder and pushing Blaine from his chest so he can sit up and wipe at his tears. "Oh god Blaine, it's so funny. Well it's not, but it is..."

"It's not," Blaine says with a frown, though he has to smile at Kurt's hysterics. "You can do the talking, that's for sure." 

"No, no, it's not that," Kurt says, wiping at his eyes again. "I was thinking about how much I hate Spencer, and how I really want to punch him and stuff." 

"Oh great," Blaine huffs. "Arrested for assault on New Year's Eve."

"And then I thought how I have to apologize to you for calling him your step dad when he's not anything to you..."

"That's funny?"

"Let me finish!" Kurt cries, swatting at his arm. "So...then I realized it's a good thing your mom didn't want you to change your name as well, because then you'd be Blaine Lane!" 

Kurt falls back on the bed, clutching his stomach in the kind of silent laughter that leaves you helpless, while Blaine looks on in confusion. 

"Blaine Lane," he says, a smile forming on his face. "Yeah, that's funny for sure, but not that funny, is it?"

"It is!" Kurt screams. 

"Really? Yep. You're weird, Hummel," Blaine teases, tickling him for good measure and laughing when he screams louder. "So weird." 

"Get off! Get off!" Kurt cries, writhing around desperately. "Stop it!" 

"What the hell is going on in there?" Spencer suddenly yells from the hallway, as he bangs on the door and tries the handle. "Blaine! You two better not be doing any of your disgusting gay stuff in there or I'll kill you!" 

Blaine freezes immediately, scrambling frantically to get off Kurt and sit up, folding his hands in his lap. "Sorry," he calls weakly, but Kurt is incensed, pulling his jeans up and tugging his sweater over his head.

"Excuse me?" he yells, pulling the door open suddenly and making Spencer stumble. "What the hell did you just say? Did you just threaten Blaine?"

"What the hell business is it of yours?" Spencer snarls. "Trying to play the protective boyfriend? Yeah, well, I've always thought Blaine was a girl." 

"People like you baffle me," Kurt says coolly. "Assuming that firstly, being called a girl is derogatory, when women are beautiful, and secondly, assuming that in a gay couple someone must be the girl. Being two guys is kind of the point of being gay, you ignorant fool. If I wanted to be with a woman, I'd be with a woman, not a guy. As for our disgusting gay stuff," Kurt continues, stepping closer and backing Spencer out into the hallway. "We've finished, thank you, so as soon as Blaine's got his clothes back on, we're going back to my house to do it all over again. Now if you'll excuse me," he finishes brightly, and closes the door in his face. 

"Well, Blaine Lane?" he says, turning to him with a smile. "Shall we?" 

Blaine nods, dumbstruck, and silently dresses. "I don't know what to bring," he says quietly. 

"Well, your outfit for the party," Kurt suggests with a small teasing smile. "Plus whatever you need for the next couple of days, if you..." 

"I don't know," Blaine says honestly. "I'd like to but...but I don't want you to feel like..." 

"I don't," Kurt tells him, kneeling on the bed and taking his face in his hands. "Please stay with me," he whispers, then leans down and kisses his lips gently. "Please." 

Blaine nods, chasing after Kurt's lips until he gets another kiss. "You were all kinds of awesome, by the way."

"Yeah, I know." Kurt climbs off the bed and tosses a dufflebag to Blaine. "Now pack before he comes back for more." 

*

Surprisingly, no one is around when they leave, and Burt isn't home either, having already left for his date. Blaine feels like he's walking on air with the affection Kurt is showing him, and he vows not to bring up anything about a relationship until Kurt is back in New York. Little things, like the way he holds his hand on the short walk across the road, and carries his bag straight to his own room rather than down to the basement, have Blaine's insides all a flutter. Kurt kisses Blaine's cheek when he passes him on the way to the bathroom, and again when he reappears, smiling and ruffling his hair. 

"So what time's this party? Do you wanna grab a burger on the way there?" 

"It's at nine but we...we don't have to go, if you don't want. I mean, it's sweet that you..." 

"I came home for you, Blaine." 

"Ah-ha! So it was for me," Blaine laughs, and Kurt turns away from his mirror, stepping between Blaine's legs and pushing him lightly back onto the bed, where he falls on top of him. 

"It was for you," Kurt confirms, "and I don't know why I did, and I don't really want to over think it, but I'm here, for you, with you, and I just want to spend today and tomorrow completely immersed in you, okay?" 

"What- what about your dad?" Blaine asks weakly, as Kurt pins his arms above his head and kisses under his jaw. 

"He won't be back. He's a bit of a player when he wants to be. He'll reappear tomorrow in time for dinner, at which point we'll get dressed and be polite and sociable, before coming back up here and getting down and dirty again." 

"We could just skip the party?" Blaine offers, suddenly not feeling much like emerging from the room. "Have a party of our own?"

"As tempting as that is, I think it'll be fun to party together, and I can meet your friends, right?" 

"Yes, but you won't meet Sam. He's away." 

"Okay, well...I can meet Sam another time," Kurt says, rolling away from Blaine. "But right now, I think we should get burgers, then party." 

*

"You didn't have to wear the bow tie," Blaine tells Kurt as they park outside Karin's house.

"I know, but I wanted to."

"No one else will be dressed up." 

"I'm only in a dress shirt, I didn't wear the whole suit," Kurt points out. "Just the pants so they match the bow tie. Besides, you're wearing one." 

"I know, but I always do." 

"Fine," Kurt huffs, a little affronted that after hours of planning, Blaine obviously doesn't like his outfit. "I'll take it off." 

"No! Don't...don't do that, please. It's..it kinda means everything that you picked it to wear tonight so..."

"Well that was the entire point!" Kurt cries, throwing his hands in the air. He steps from the car and comes around to open Blaine's door for him, offering his hand. "You bizarre little creature." 

"Your sentiments are always so endearing." 

"I know." 

They are shown into a basement full of over excited teenagers, which makes Kurt cringe inwardly, and Blaine tugs him over to a tall Asian guy standing with his arm around a shorter girl. They both greet Blaine with hugs, and then Blaine steps backward, the pride in his voice evident as he gestures to Kurt. 

"Kurt, meet Mike and Tina, Tina and Mike, meet Kurt. He's with me!" he adds, positively beaming with delight. "He came with me!" 

"Blaine is mildly over excited," Kurt says as he shakes their hands. 

"And you?" Mike asks bluntly, making Blaine shoot him a look. 

"I'm just a complete bundle of nerves," he admits. "Meeting his friends, not wanting to disappoint him or embarrass him. I don't usually do this sort of thing." 

Mike narrows his eyes at him, "So why did you then?" 

Kurt pauses, glancing across at Blaine before meeting Mike's gaze. "He's worth it." 

Things couldn't get much better, Blaine thinks to himself as the evening wears on. Kurt plays the role of tender, loving and attentive...something...to perfection. He seems to be enjoying himself too, and Blaine starts to think that he might actually agree to being boyfriends once he's back in New York and missing the ease of being together. That's what it is, Blaine realizes. It's easy. It's so simple and natural to hold Kurt's hand as they sit on a couch together, or to introduce him to people and smile as Kurt talks politely. Kurt likes to tease, but Blaine likes to be teased, and Karin laughs loudly when Kurt tells her about Blaine feeling like he should attend the party because she's Australian, leaving a blushing Blaine to explain himself, before swatting playfully at Kurt's head when Karin walks away. 

"You want a drink?" Kurt asks, his hand resting loosely on Blaine's leg. 

"Yeah, I wouldn't mind." 

"Do you drink, drink? I suddenly realize there's a lot I don't know about you." 

"Well....you can find out," Blaine says quietly, putting an arm around his shoulders. "If you want to." 

"I do, but right now I just wanna know if you want a beer," Kurt smiles, and then does something he's never done to anyone before. He leans forward and gently rubs Blaine's nose in an Eskimo kiss, leaving them both with wide eyes and wondering what the hell that might mean. 

"Yes," Blaine lets out in an incredibly high pitched voice. "Um...I mean yes," he says, correcting his pitch. "Beer would be good, thanks." 

Two beers apiece, and they're tucked away in the corner of the room, not really doing anything much except holding one another and smiling. Occasionally they share a quick kiss, but although the crowd at the party are essentially allies- in that they've never bullied Blaine- and there's only about twenty people present, he's still not quite sure of their acceptance, so he tries to tone it down. It's so hard, he thinks to himself, and Kurt almost chokes on his mouthful of beer, clutching onto Blaine's shoulder until he can breathe again. 

"Oh my god!" he cries when he's able to talk. "Blaine! You have to keep that inside voice inside!"

"Oh. Did I...?" He trails off, reddening when Kurt nods. "Sorry." 

"You are so...damn you, Blaine," Kurt moans, rubbing a hand over his face. "What are you doing to me?" 

"Spin the bottle!" Karin calls, before Blaine can question Kurt further, and he swallows over the lump of unease and gives Kurt a smile. 

"Shall we?" 

"Are you kidding?" Kurt asks with a raised eyebrow. "For a start, I don't do kissing, be it boy or girl, nor do I do high school drinking games, and secondly, there is no way in hell I'm gonna sit by and watch you kiss someone else." 

"Really?" Blaine stands tall, straightening his bow tie in an effort to hide his immense satisfaction at hearing more than hint of jealousy. "You kiss me, though," he points out.

"Of course I kiss you, Blaine. You're different, and you know you are." 

Blaine senses when Kurt is about to explode in one of his rages, so he shrugs as casually as he can. "Okay, well, we don't have to play." 

"Guys? You in?" Karin asks, and then Blaine panics, wondering how to explain. 

"I um...we're not.... we're not going to play. Uh...I'm...we're...I'm gay," he finally gets out, worried for Karin's reaction, but all she does is smile. 

"Ah okay. I getcha. Wanna play something else instead?" 

"Oh um..." 

"We could play truth or dare?" Kurt suggests, ignoring the surprised glance from Blaine. "That'd be fun, and Blaine and I can always pick truths if we don't like the dares being given out." 

"Okay," Karin says brightly. "Truth or dare, everyone!" 

They sit together in a large circle, with Mike and Tina on the other side of Blaine. The first few turns are the inevitable rounds of daring someone to kiss someone else, and then it gets to Blaine's turn. "Truth," he says quietly, staring at his hands in his lap. 

"I have a question!" Kurt looks around the group, trying to gauge what their reaction will be to the question he's about to ask. They're typical high school geeks, he realizes, which is probably why even though there's alcohol, nobody is outlandishly drunk or inappropriate. Probably all virgins too, he thinks smugly, then turns to Blaine with a devilish grin. 

"Blaine? Who's the best lover you've ever had?" 

"Oh my god!" Tina cries, covering her mouth with her hand. "You can't ask that!" 

"Oh look at that, I just did. Blaine?" 

Blaine reddens, but rather than wanting to run and hide, he smiles shyly, ducking his head, before looking back up at Kurt, who challenges him directly with his steady eye contact. "You are, Kurt," he says, loud enough for all to hear. "You know you are too, because you're the only lover I've had. You could still use some practice though," he adds with a cheeky wink, and Kurt laughs and claps his hands. 

"Yeah, okay. Good answer," he grins, then leans in close, taking Blaine's chin between his thumb and forefinger and kissing him gently on the lips. "You're beautiful." 

"Kurt's turn," Mike declares.

"Truth."

Tina's hand is up like a shot. "Me! I have a question for him. Kurt, are you in love with Blaine?" 

For both Blaine and Kurt, it is as if all the air and people have been sucked from the room, as they just stare at one another. Kurt looks totally stunned, blinking a few times before swallowing hard. "Um...I..."

"You don't have to answer," Blaine says softly, taking his hand in his. "It's okay." 

The thing is, Kurt thinks as he sits there, holding Blaine's hand and not moving, he is in love with Blaine. It's just that he's only realized it when Tina asked the question, and now he feels like he's just been hit by a freight truck, and he's not ready to really breathe, much less admit his feelings to Blaine and a whole room full of strangers. 

"Blaine," Kurt whispers, then reaches up to cup his cheek with a hand that trembles with nerves. 

Blaine reaches up to cover the hand with his own, staring into Kurt's eyes all the while. "Please, Kurt," he says softly. "Don't answer. You don't have to. It's enough. Whatever this is, right here and now, it's enough for me, and if it wasn't, I wouldn't be here, so please, don't feel like you have to say stuff you don't want to." 

The conversation is so quiet that Tina tries to lean over Mike to hear, but he gently pushes her back into place with a shake of his head. 

"Um...I'll take a dare instead," Kurt calls weakly, his eyes still trained on Blaine, who doesn't look upset in the least. 

"Great, good, fantastic!" Mike booms, coming to the rescue. "Nice and easy then, kiss Blaine full on the mouth. Go for it." 

Kurt shoots him a grateful glance before beckoning Blaine closer. "My pleasure." 

It's chaste, compared to a lot of their kisses, their mouths only slightly open and no tongue at all, but Kurt hopes it conveys those words that he's just not ready to say yet, and judging by the way Blaine pulls back from the kiss, beaming bright and with his eyes shining, he thinks his message might have come across. 

"We could leave?" Blaine whispers. "As soon as this round is done? I mean...I think there's probably something quite romantic about being alone at midnight, don't you? Just the two of us?"

"I think yes," Kurt says, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles. "And thank you."


	17. Chapter 17

Blaine emerges from the bathroom, dressed in nice navy pajamas with red piping, and slides under the covers next to Kurt, who raises an eyebrow, and suddenly feels wholly inappropriate and underdressed in just his boxer briefs. 

"Did I upset you?" he asks as Blaine slides under his outstretched arm. 

"No, why?" 

"Pajamas."

"Oh. Well." He tugs on the sleeves, embarrassed. "Only because I don't really feel comfortable enough to walk around like...like you do," he stammers. "But you haven't upset me, no." 

"At the party..."

"Kurt." Blaine sighs, trying to think how best to convey his feelings on the subject. "This is...it's hard, because you shouldn't have been put in that position, and if I'm honest I'm a little mad a Tina for asking the question."

"It's okay," Kurt shrugs. "I'm not mad at her, she's trying to protect you, and I get that. It was just..."

"Awkward," Blaine finishes.

"Yeah." 

"The thing is, Kurt, I honestly don't know how I feel for you. Sometimes, I think that I could just...say those words, you know? Like today. Today has been probably the most perfect day of my existence, because you've just been amazing, and it would be so easy to make some sort of declaration.... but then there's times, when you're back in New York, where I'm texting you and getting no response, or when you come home and end up being mean to me for no apparent reason, that I really don't like you very much at all. I want it to be this way all the time." 

"I know," Kurt says sadly. "I know you do, and I'm trying, Blaine, I really am trying."

"I know you are, which is why that's enough for me. I don't need to hear you admitting stuff that either isn't true, or is so fragile and tentative that it could shatter at any second. You flew home from New York to spend New Years with me. You gave up all your plans just so you could see me, and to me? That's huge. That's the biggest, sweetest, gesture anyone has ever given, and...I don't know...I might be way off the mark, but I'd say it's a pretty clear indication of your feelings for me. I promised myself we wouldn't have this conversation until you were back in New York, because I didn't want to ruin your time here, but now we seem to be having it, so I guess I just need to tell you that it's okay. Whatever the here and now is, it's okay, because I think you're happy, and all I really want is your happiness." 

He is surprised to find Kurt's eyes glistening with tears as he gently kisses Blaine's forehead and sighs. "You get me," he whispers. "You make this all so easy because you get me. You get what I'm trying to say, and that I can't bring myself to say it. I want to be yours, Blaine, I really do. I just... You make me so happy," he says, his voice trembling as he wipes at a couple of stray tears. "I just need to make that leap, don't I? The thing is, like this, it's easy. I can sit here right now, and say yes, I'll be your boyfriend, and I'll never look at another man, but back in New York...it would be an entire lifestyle change, and I know that sounds like nothing, when I'd be gaining so much, but I've been this way, living this life, for so long, that I really would be starting afresh. I can't afford to move, or change jobs, and on top of that, having to cut all these people out of my life...it would be so tough." 

"Would you have to cut them out though?" Blaine asks. "I mean, Jeremy, maybe but..."

"Blaine, I cut Jeremy out after the first time I kissed you. I couldn't go back, and I couldn't look at him without knowing how much it would hurt you, so...yeah, he's gone." 

"Oh. I didn't... Why did you make out like you still see him?" 

"I don't have any real friends," Kurt goes on. "Except Santana. Jeremy keeps calling but I ignore him, I only say that stuff to wind you up. The rest...they're just acquaintances who I see in bars and clubs. I know their names, but that's about it, really. They'd come looking though, tempting me back, because I'm the party animal. I'm the one who will buy them drinks, get them dancing, give them a quick lay, or send them home with others. They already think it's strange that I come home here so often. I should, in theory, be able to cut them out, and maybe disconnect my apartment buzzer in the process, but... I'd have to make new friends, meet new people, and in all honesty, Blaine, I'm scared that people won't like the real me, the one I want to be, the one I am with you." 

"I like you though," Blaine says softly. "I care. I happen to think that this Kurt is pretty darn perfect, if you ask me, and I know your dad thinks the same. If Santana is your true friend, then she would support you too."

"She would," Kurt shrugs. "Blaine? Can I just...can we agree to...to...to try, maybe? I feel like that's the best I can offer right now, and I'm sorry it can't be more."

"Try what? Being together? Properly?" 

"Yeah."

"Yes, Kurt," Blaine says, everything inside of him soaring in delight. "We can try."

"I might hurt you though." 

"That's okay, I'm sure I'll survive. Just don't cheat on me, please. I wouldn't be able to handle that." 

"I won't," Kurt says solemnly. "I promise." 

"Hmm." Blaine grins, wriggling around in the bed like a child who's just noticed that santa had come. "So I can like...say you're my boyfriend?" 

"Yes you can," Kurt laughs, catching onto his enthusiasm. 

"You don't mind? I can like...introduce you at the grocery store as my boyfriend, Kurt?" 

"No you cannot," Kurt laughs, "because no one introduces their significant others in the grocery store, you fool. But you can tell dad tomorrow, if you'd like."

"I do like, I do!" Blaine says happily, bouncing in the bed.

"I have to go back the day after tomorrow though," Kurt says sadly. "But I'll be home for your birthday, I promise, and I'll take you out on a date." 

"Okay!" Blaine beams happily, and pulls his pajama top over his head, throwing it to the floor.

"Hey! Hold up, boy," Kurt laughs, but he still lets Blaine push him back down into the mattress, lying half on top of him. "Listen. I'm happy too, but before we start on the whole making out thing... I need to know what you're ready for." 

"Oh. Well....I'm not... I don't think...you know?"

"That's what I thought," Kurt says kindly, running his fingers through Blaine's hair. "Which is fine, okay? I don't want you to think you have to rush things to please me, because really, I'm happy and satisfied." 

"I know I keep getting carried away in the moment and saying stuff, but really, before we do that, I just need to be sure of where we are," Blaine explains, hoping Kurt doesn't think he's being too prim and proper. "And right now, as you said, we're just trying to work it all out. I always promised my dad that I'd wait until I was certain I felt enough for someone, and they for me, and I'd like to keep that promise." 

"And you should, you totally should," Kurt urges. "Because I promised my dad the same, and my biggest regret is that not only did I go back on it, I completely threw it out the window." 

"I'd like it to be you though, one day." 

"I hope it will be," Kurt says, biting his lip to try and hide his grin. "Because I might actually die if I never get to know what you feel like around me." 

"Uuuuuhhhhhhh," is the only noise that Blaine makes, falling forward onto Kurt's chest. "Don't say stuff like that. It's so hard now, and that's not my inside voice." 

"Ha!" Kurt rolls them over, tackling Blaine back onto the bed, until he's settled between his legs where their groins can rub together lightly. "Hey," he says, with a quick glance at the clock on his nightstand. "It's nearly midnight. Thirty seconds." 

"Quick! Tell me one thing you want for this coming year." 

"You," Kurt says automatically, leaning down for a kiss. "Only you." 

Blaine gives his all to the kiss; their first one as boyfriends, which probably shouldn't be such a big deal, but to him, it is. His hand slides around to the back of Kurt's neck as he draws him down against him, enjoying the way Kurt teases with his tongue, before giving in and pouring every ounce of passion and emotion into kissing his new boyfriend, the thought of which thrills him immensely, and makes him feel like a fifteen year old again. 

The new year rings in for them against a backdrop of soft moans and sighs, as they kiss heatedly but gently, prolonging the pleasure of just kissing each other. "I love how you don't kiss people," Blaine grins against Kurt's lips.

"Mmhmm." He doesn't even open his eyes in response, just smiles lazily and kisses under Blaine's jaw, trailing his lips down over his collarbone and over his chest. He loves this. He loves moving over Blaine's body, making him quiver, tremble and gasp. It's a revelation for him, because although he's always supposed he was a good lover, he now realizes that actually, he was always after his own gratification, and really didn't give a thought to whoever was underneath him. But with Blaine, he really can't get enough. The taste of his skin on his tongue, the curve of his hip under his hand, the brush of his chest hair against his cheek...it all feels incredible, but the best part of all, is seeing the pleasure Blaine gets from being with him. 

He pauses at the top of Blaine's pajama pants, his fingers trailing along the waistband, until Blaine opens his eyes and looks down, giving a small nod, and Kurt slides his pants off and onto the floor, followed by his own underwear. Kissing the edge of his hip, Kurt is suddenly so desperate to do this, and do it right, that he is inexplicably filled with nerves. He can feel Blaine is nervous too, so he moves up to kiss at his lips again, pulling back to gaze into his eyes. 

"We don't have to."

"Shut up, this is all I've been waiting for," Blaine grins, and Kurt laughs loudly, shaking his head, as suddenly all the nerves on both parts are diminished. 

"You might hate it," Kurt points out. "I might be terrible." 

"I'll let you know." Blaine gives a wink, making Kurt laugh again as he moves lower. He's more certain this time, and the soft "oh" of pleasure that Blaine emits when he places a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock makes him smile and carry on; teasing with his tongue around the head then sinking his mouth down around him. 

"Oh! K-Kurt..." Blaine gasps, his hips bucking off the bed until Kurt holds him in place. "Oh!" 

Blaine's fingers tangle into Kurt's thick hair and he doesn't even mind, taking him deeper and loving the sounds coming from him. He goes fast then slow, rough then soft, teasing and drawing the pleasure out for both of them, even though he can sense Blaine is about ready to explode. 

He pulls back for a second to hook Blaine's legs over his shoulders, who looks like a startled and incredibly dishevelled rabbit as he does so, but he smiles, kissing the inside of Blaine's knee before taking him deep again, and using one hand to stroke himself to full hardness as he does so. 

"Kurt," Blaine moans brokenly, and then his hips stutter as he comes and Kurt swallows eagerly, which only serves to prolong Blaine's orgasm, as he feels himself spurting into the warm heat of Kurt's mouth. 

He's not aware of Kurt's desperation until he opens his eyes. The heat of Kurt's mouth is gone and he's kneeling there, between Blaine's legs, with one hand resting on his knee which has dropped to the side, and the other working his cock frantically. He looks beautiful; sweaty and flushed, his head thrown back and his eyes closed as he gasps. 

"Oh god Kurt, yes," Blaine whimpers, realizing what's about to happen. "Come over me, go on." 

"Shit....yes," is all Kurt manages, before he's decorating Blaine's cock with streaks of white come as he moans weakly and bites his lip. "I can't... Oh holy fucking hell," he groans, and falls in a heap on top of Blaine, without a thought or care about the mess. 

"Happy New Year," is all Blaine says, and Kurt giggles like a child, which makes Blaine feel very pleased with himself indeed. 

"You goofball," Kurt says, wiping at his eyes. 

"It wasn't meant to be funny," Blaine tells him in all his confused honesty. "I was just saying happy new year. You have a weird sense of humor." 

"Hey!" 

"You do," Blaine smiles, pulling him into his arms and kissing his lips. "But you're amazing with it, so I'll let it slide." 

"I'm amazing?"

"You're perfect." 

*

Waking up in Blaine's arms, Kurt has never been more content. He had never intended to enter into a relationship with Blaine, he had just thought that he wanted to give him this new year, and to have fun together, yet Tina's question had taken him completely off guard. It was at that point that he finally realized how much of himself he wanted to give to Blaine, how desperately he wanted and also needed to know that they were exclusive to one another. Surprisingly, for him, he also knows that it's as much for his own benefit as Blaine's. He needs to know he belongs to Blaine, that when he's sitting alone in his apartment just waiting for time to pass, that somewhere Blaine is thinking of him, missing him, and waiting to see him again. 

He's also surprised by the level of physical desire. Kurt has always had a lot of sex. Kurt has done things that Blaine has probably never even heard of, and would certainly run a mile if Kurt even suggested them, but nothing in his entire existence compares with kissing Blaine, and that's what surprises him. Sure, he loves touching him and exploring his body, and the sight of Blaine orgasaming is one he knows he will never tire of. He also knows he gets turned on by the smallest things, such as the cute way he straightens his bow tie in the hall mirror just before they leave the house. That gets Kurt going because he knows that underneath, when the bow tie is loosened and the collar open, Blaine's breath catches in his throat when he kisses there. Or the way he tucks his polo shirts so tightly into his pants. Kurt knows how trim that waist is, which is emphasised when he tucks the shirt in, and what is more, he knows what it feels like to rest his hands there, on the bare skin, and again, the thought gets Kurt going. It's these subtle intricacies and intimacies that surprise him. It's not the feel of a hard outline rubbing against his thigh, or a hand palming over him, it's the spark of eye contact, the graze of lips, the knowledge that he knows what lies beneath, and the fact that it is Blaine, whose name he can freely utter as he comes, which turns him on beyond all measure, and leaves him now, with Blaine spooning behind him and his breath tickling the back of his neck, desperate with longing. 

It seems like an eternity before Blaine wakes, but eventually he does, and Kurt knows without even turning around that he's got that sexy, just woken up grin that he has, and that his hair will be immense. "We fell asleep," Blaine croaks, his voice scratchy with sleep. "We didn't even clean up." 

"We could shower together?" 

"We could," Blaine murmurs happily. "As long as that involves my boyfriend's hands roaming over my body." 

"Well I've been waiting for you to wake up, so I'm ready." 

Blaine lets his hand wander down until he finds Kurt hard and wanting, and he moans, giving a gentle kiss to his shoulder as he strokes him slowly. "You want me," he states softly, and Kurt tilts his head around, catching his lips. 

"I do." 

By the time Burt arrives home in the afternoon, Blaine and Kurt are curled up together on the couch, watching the Tigger movie. They've not done anything much, other than their shower, which left them both gasping as they spilled over one another's hands. After that they napped again and then ate a lazy brunch before flopping on the couch, but even so, their day was perfect. 

"Hello," Burt says gruffly, not even raising an eyebrow at the pair lying the full length of the couch, with Kurt pressed flush to Blaine's back, his arm protectively around his waist. 

Blaine leaps up, having been waiting for this moment since last night. "He's my boyfriend!" he cries, pointing happily to Kurt who rolls his eyes. "Kurt is! He's my boyfriend!" 

"Honestly, it's like dating an over exuberant puppy," Kurt sighs, and though he reaches out and kisses Blaine's hand, he does feel a slight unease at his boyish enthusiasm, being reminded sharply of their eleven year age gap. 

Eleven years. He hasn’t really thought about it before, other than Blaine being younger, but wow. Eleven years is a lot; especially when Kurt thinks back to how he was eleven years ago, and how much he has changed since. 

"Ah! So this is what happens when you're left alone, huh?" Burt smiles, coming over to ruffle Blaine's hair and give him a hug. "I'm happy if you're happy," he says with a pointed look at Kurt over Blaine's shoulder. 

"Actually, I am," Kurt says, putting his unease to the side for a moment, and remembering that this, the three of them together, is perfection."I really am." 

"Good. Then gimme a minute to get changed, and then we'll paint that damn airplane. Blaine hasn't shut up about it all week." 

"Look at you, all blushing and cute," Kurt says as soon as his dad leaves the room. "You can admit you were waiting to paint it, it's okay." 

"Yeah," Blaine says, ducking his head shyly. "I really was, but I wanted to wait for you to be here too. Is it weird that I see this as a family thing? Even though you two aren't my family? And I see you and me as an entirely different, you and me thing?" 

"Hmm." Kurt goes to him, draping his arms loosely over his shoulders. "Well, the family thing is wonderful, not weird. I know that's what dad's trying to give you, anyway. A proper family. As for you and me, well...I guess it is different, but when you get those glasses on, all I can think about is kissing you while you're wearing them, so it's not entirely separate for me."

"That's all you think about? Really? Kurt, my glasses are horrible, I hate them." 

"You shouldn't, you look all geeky and hot." 

"I look geeky," Blaine pouts. "Nothing hot about it." 

"Bring them to bed tonight," Kurt whispers seductively in his ear.

"Why?" Blaine is completely confused, and thinking he really needs to google weird fetishes, but Kurt seems to think it's completely normal, and moves closer, pressing the length of his body against Blaine's.

"Because I want you to wear them and see how horny it makes me, that's why." 

"Oh," Blaine replies, not knowing what else to say. "Okay. Weirdo."

*

It turns out the glasses do make Kurt very horny indeed, though by the time they finish painting the plane and eating dinner, it’s late, and Blaine is yawning. "Don't fall asleep on me," Kurt warns as they climb under the covers. "I've been waiting for this all evening." 

"No, I won't, I promise. Did you set the alarm?"

"Huh? What alarm? Why? My flight isn't until noon." 

"I have school." 

"Oh." Kurt freezes, finding those words oddly jarring, considering he's been wanting to do unspeakable things to this man all night, and now he sees him for what he really is; a boy, with another eighteen months of high school ahead of him. "Sure, I'll set the alarm. Six?" 

"Yeah, thanks." 

"I'll um...I'll drive you."

"You don't need to do that," Blaine says, as he watches Kurt fiddling with his phone. "I won't be able to get home, anyway."

"I'll get dad to pick you up." 

"Please don't, Kurt," Blaine says quietly. "I really don't think I'll be able to say goodbye to you in the parking lot." 

"Oh, hey," Kurt says, his momentary panic forgotten in favor of comforting Blaine. "Don't get upset. I'll be home again in two weeks, remember?" 

"I know but... but everytime you go back to New York, I get ignored," Blaine says sadly. "And....I don't know. I don't know anything about the place, or where you live, or anything, and it's kinda hard for me to picture you there, doing anything other than being in some dingy club, making out with a guy in the corner." 

"I won't ignore you this time, I promise," Kurt says sincerely, taking his hand. "And I told you, I don't kiss people." 

"You say that, but you kiss me like, all the time. You're hotter for the making out than even I am, so....I don't know." 

"Is there a trust issue here, Blaine?" Kurt asks, raising an eyebrow. 

"Would you be surprised if there was?" 

Blaine's answer takes him off guard. In all honesty, he wouldn't trust someone like himself at all, but he's surprised at how much he wants Blaine to trust him, and he feels more than a little hurt by his response. "I guess...I guess not," he says weakly, and he turns the light out with a sigh. 

"Sorry," Blaine says into the dark, tentatively touching Kurt's shoulder. "That was low." 

"No....called for, I guess." 

"No, it wasn't," Blaine stresses. "And I'm sorry." 

"I meant it," Kurt says quietly, turning over to face him. "I don't kiss people. I mean, I do, I have, but not like...not like I do with you. Nothing I do with you is anything like what I do with other people." 

"How so?" 

"It's so much better," Kurt says with a smile, letting his fingers trail along Blaine's jaw. "The touch of your lips thrills me, and I've never ever felt anything like it before." 

"That's...that's pretty awesome," Blaine admits, ducking his head. 

“Blaine? I...”

“Don’t,” Blaine whispers, closing the small gap between them and kissing his lips. “Not yet. It’s too much too soon, and this is going so well.”

“But I do, though.”

“Yeah,” Blaine agrees softly, grinning widely in the darkness. “I do too.” 

It is a tired and sad Blaine who sets off for school the next day, having spent a large majority of the night both giving and receiving pleasure at the hands of Kurt, and then lying awake with him, talking about nothing of any importance, but it became important because it was the two of them, together. 

“Will you call me?” he asks with tears in his eyes. 

“I will, I promise,” Kurt says firmly, leaning down to kiss him again through the open window of his car. “Now don’t let anyone get to you, okay? Not those jerks you live with, not the bullies at school, no one. I’m here. I mean, I’m not here, but I’m just a phone call away, so....”

“Two weeks,” Blaine sighs. 

“Two weeks,” Kurt repeats, but with a happier tone. “Come on, it’s soon.”

“I know.”

“And your birthday. That means gifts, and me taking you out and showing my hot boyfriend off.”

Blaine smiles, suddenly feeling quite excited at the prospect. “Yeah. I can deal with that. Two weeks.”

Kurt leans down, kissing him again with sweet and sensitive lips, until he pulls back slightly breathless, and Blaine drives away, already counting down the days.


	18. Chapter 18

Blaine is miserable. It’s been exactly ten days since he said goodbye to Kurt in his driveway, and time seems to be dragging backward. Kurt’s kept his promise, and Blaine has been the happy receiver of texts and phone calls several times a day, but even so, it’s tough, even more so given that tomorrow marks one year since his dad passed away. 

He’s not told anyone, because he’s not really sure how you would bring something like that up in conversation. He knows he mentioned to Burt once that his dad died three days before his birthday, but he can hardly expect him to remember, given that the conversation was months ago. 

He parks at Burt’s shop and heads in to start work, thankful for the distraction these few hours after school bring. He knows he’s off his game today though, dropping tools, forgetting simple routine procedures, and even trying repeatedly to fit the wrong tire on a truck until Burt gently points out his mistake. 

“You wanna cut out, buddy? Make it a short day?”

“Not really,” he mumbles. “I’d rather stay here.” 

“Well, I could do with closing up shop,” Burt says conversationally. “It’s been a long ass day for me. Let’s go out for dinner, eh? Toast your old man.”

“Toast...you know about that?”

“Course I do,” Burt says in surprise. “You told me.”

“I know, but that was ages ago.”

“So?”

“I didn’t expect you to remember,” Blaine says, feeling overwhelmed. “I don’t think my mom has.”

“She will have remembered,” Burt tells him, putting an arm around his shoulders. “Trust me. Now, Let’s go eat.” 

He feels a little lighter when he returns home, but no text from Kurt since that morning has him worried and on edge. He tries to distract himself with studying, and an online conversation with Mike, but he still keeps looking at his phone every five minutes, just in case.

Eventually, by ten, he can stand it no longer and gives in and texts Kurt anyway, hoping he will get a reply.

"Hey, so I hope you’re okay. I know you said you’d text later and we didn’t set a time but it’s later now so. I don't know. I’m going to bed soon."

He’s not happy with it at all, but sends it anyway, and is still lying staring at the ceiling three hours later, when Kurt’s reply eventually comes. 

"Sorry, I was out. I’m good. See you Friday."

The truth is, Kurt wasn’t out. Kurt has spent the majority of his evening in much the same way as Blaine, staring at the ceiling and worrying. He’s pretty sure that he is now hopelessly in love with Blaine, which scares him beyond belief, mainly because he still doesn’t think he’s in a position to be in a relationship. 

He didn’t think having a boyfriend would be this exhausting, especially when they’re not even in the same state, but Blaine is needy. He had been perfectly happy to send texts through the day, little messages to let him know he was on his mind, but Blaine had wanted full blown conversations, and their phone calls had become two hour affairs that Kurt found himself resenting more than cherishing, especially as Blaine had seemed more and more morose and depressed over the last couple of days. He hadn’t said anything was wrong, and Kurt hadn’t asked, reasoning that if he did he might open the floodgates, which would lead to another hour on the phone. So he had laid low today on purpose, thinking that Blaine would be okay for a day or two until he got home on Friday, and could be genuinely happy to see him again.

“Fuck!” he sits upright suddenly as it hits him. It is three days until Blaine’s birthday, meaning it is exactly a year since his dad died, and now it’s nearing one thirty and too late to call him and apologize. “Jerk,” Kurt mutters angrily at himself, throwing one hand over his eyes in despair. This is why Kurt Hummel should never do relationships. 

*

“Blaine? Are you okay?”

Blaine stops short on the stairs at the sound of his mom’s voice, and turns to see her standing at the top, wrapped in her bathrobe. “Um yeah, I’m just going to Burt’s for breakfast as always.”

“You were crying,” his mom points out as she descends. “Late last night and again this morning. I heard you.” 

“Well...just a little sad, I guess.”

“Because of dad?”

Blaine takes a deep breath, trying to keep it all in, but he can’t. She did remember, and now all he can do is stand there, with silent tears falling down his face. “He was gone,” he whispers brokenly. “This time a year ago, he had been gone for an hour already and it....it doesn’t seem real. It seems like he should still be here.” 

“Oh honey,” his mom sighs, reaching out to play with the soft hair at the base of his neck, as she used to when he was a child. For a second, Blaine allows himself to hope, to actually believe that she sees things his way. “Life moves on,” she says, smiling sweetly all the while. “And it’s better now, isn’t it? You have brothers, and you know, you always used to bug me about having a little brother,” she says with a laugh. “I know your dad isn’t here, and it makes me sad too, but Spencer is trying, Blaine, really, to fill that gap for you.” 

Blaine stares for a while, and lets her kiss his cheek and hug him tight, genuinely believing she has done something good with her words. Then he gives a tight smile and clears his throat. “I uh...I need to...Burt will be waiting so...”

“Sure, honey. Have a nice day.”

Blaine tears into the house like a hurricane and Burt doesn’t say a word, just holds his arms out to catch him, figuring he was going to need some kind of comfort today, but even he is alarmed at the choking, desperate sobs that tear through him, as he throws his arms around Burt’s neck. 

“I hate her!” he screams. “I hate her, I hate her, I hate her!”

“Woah, easy buddy. Come on. Let it all out and then we’ll talk.” 

*

Nearly an hour later and Blaine is sitting at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee as Burt hovers anxiously by his side, patting his back every now and then. "I don't know what to say," he tells Blaine sadly. "About any of it. With regards to Kurt, or your mom, or anything. I'm just so sorry, kid. You don't deserve all this." 

"Maybe I do."

"No. No one does," Burt says firmly. He sighs and looks at the clock. "You need to get going to school." 

"Do I have to go?" 

"I'm not your parent, Blaine. I can't give permission for you to stay home. I'm sorry, I wish I could." 

"I thought Kurt loved me," he says, grinding his fists into his eyes as more tears start. "I thought he did, and I thought my mom did, but I was wrong." 

"I still think they both do," Burt says. "I just think they're both misguided about a lot of things. I love you, if that helps any." 

"It does," Blaine says, letting his head fall onto Burt's shoulder. "I don't know what I'd do without you." 

Burt drops a little kiss to the top of Blaine's head, wishing again that he could take him away from all of this. "Come over after school. I'll cut out early and we'll play cards." 

"You don't have to babysit me." 

"I know that, but I like having you around, and Joey's back from vacation so there's plenty of staff." 

Somehow, Blaine muddles through the day. It takes until lunchtime for him to tell Sam what's bothering him, and he in turn tells Tina and Mike, who insist on hugging him despite his protestations that he will cry. He manages to avoid all his hideous step brothers, and he could probably feel better, surrounded by such supportive friends and with the guarantee of Burt's company after school, if it wasn't for the continual silence from his phone. 

He types several texts to Kurt, but doesn't send them, figuring his desperation will only drive him further away, and he's seeing him Friday, he has to keep reminding himself. They can talk face to face then, though Blaine manages to work himself into a resounding panic, convinced Kurt will end it all on his birthday, of all days. 

"Hello?" 

"In the kitchen!" Burt calls, though his voice definitely comes from the den. 

"No you're not!" 

"Just go in the kitchen, Blaine." 

An enormous bouquet of flowers sits on the table, the perfect combination of winter blooms and red roses, with a little card addressed to him propped up in front of the vase. 

My beautiful Blaine, You are in my heart always, but especially today. I'm sorry for being a crap boyfriend, but please don't ever think I don't care. All my love, Kurt xxxx 

Burt comes in softly behind Blaine, in time to catch him wiping away a tear, and he gently guides him into the den, where a laptop waits with Kurt on the screen. Burt sits him down in front of it, then retreats, closing the door softly behind him. 

"Hey you," Kurt says, a sharp pang of pain going through him when he sees how sad Blaine is. He reaches out toward the screen, a futile gesture, but Blaine returns it and smiles through his tears. 

"Thank you," he whispers gratefully. "I thought you'd forgotten." 

"I was having some issues, but I'm good now," Kurt tells him, though he's not entirely sure he means it. The longing to hold this fragile boy takes him back to the first time he saw him in his dad's garage, and it makes him remember how much he wants to keep Blaine safe and happy, which in turn scares him witless.

"Issues?" 

"Thinking that maybe I wasn't cut out to be your boyfriend. I'm not very good at it really, am I?" 

"You are when you return my calls," Blaine sniffs with a sad laugh. "Otherwise, no." 

"Well thank you for your honesty," Kurt laughs, then his face turns serious, and he cocks his head to one side. "I miss you." 

"Same." 

"I tried to get home for today, but I couldn't. I'm so sorry." 

"S'okay," Blaine shrugs, and he means it. "I mean, sure, it'd be nice, but it'd be nice if you were a junior like me too," he adds with a smile. "We can't always get what we want, and I'll take this over nothing any day." 

"Let dad look after you, okay? He wants to, and you should let him. You need someone to pamper you today, and if it can't be me, I'm happy it's him." 

"My mom..."

"I know," Kurt says sadly, reaching out toward the screen again. "And I'm so sorry for you, because someone as beautiful as you doesn't deserve a mother like that." 

"I think it kinda hit me today that one day, in the future, I'm gonna have no family. I mean, I'll have Burt, I know, and you in whatever capacity, but actual, real family, who can reminisce with me, and talk about when I was young. I haven't got any siblings, or cousins. I had an aunt on my dad's side but she died in a car accident when I was small, and that's it. No grandparents, and no parents either. She'll forget about me, won't she Kurt?" 

"Oh honey," Kurt pauses, struck by using an endearment that he has never used in his entire life. "Um...I don't think she will cut you out entirely. She won't be overly enthusiastic in her contact, maybe, but I think if you want to, and are persistent, you can keep in touch, but it would be through effort on your part, and not hers." 

"She wasn't always like this," Blaine says, and he's crying as he talks, but doesn't even attempt to compose himself. "I was one of those kids you see in the vacation brochures, you know? The one getting swung high in the air between the laughing happy couple. They didn't just love me; they adored me, both of them. In fact, I only became closer to dad as I got older, because mom distanced herself for whatever reason, but it was her doing, not ours. I think....I think what hurt the most this morning, was that she genuinely thought she was helping. There was no malice, or bad intentions, only good. Also, for a second, she was my mom, the one I was always so proud of. She could have held her arms open there and then, and cried with me, and I'd have forgiven everything, the affair, the siding with them, all of it, but she didn't. She told me things are better now, but they're not, are they? How are they better? I have to hide in my bedroom, I'm not allowed to mention being gay, and I'm bullied in my own home. That's not better, is it?" 

Kurt shakes his head, wiping away a few tears. "No it's not," he chokes out sadly. "Not at all." 

"Don't cry," Blaine says, alarmed. "Please."

"I wish I could hold you," Kurt sniffs. "That's what it is with you, isn't it? What's different. For me, anyhow. I mean, obviously I find you attractive and stuff but, ugh...what I wouldn't give to hold you right now, to feel you in my arms, and to be able to tell you it'll all be okay. I've never felt this way, Blaine."

"That's a good thing, right?" Blaine asks. Elation through sadness is a funny emotion. He's desperate to beam brightly at Kurt's admission, but two seconds ago he was crying, and the turnabout is so sudden and fast it leaves him reeling. 

"I think so, but it terrifies me, I'll be honest." 

"What does?"

"The depth of it all." 

"Oh. Well....I mean....we're young...."

"You are."

"Ha! True. What I mean is....I don't know. I mean, how deep are you talking?" 

"I don't know," Kurt admits, rubbing a weary hand over his face. "Let's just...can we talk about something else?" 

"Sure." Blaine agrees readily, mainly because he himself is feeling rather alarmed with the way Kurt is talking. Is he hinting about a future together? Because Blaine can't even comprehend a future of any kind when his present is so messed up, and he can't ever see himself settling down with Kurt while both of them still have so many issues to work through. 

"Get dad to give you a ride to school on Friday," Kurt says, breaking Blaine's thoughts. 

"Huh? Why?" 

"Cause I wanna meet you when school gets out." 

"Oh." Blaine's grin spreads wide this time, and he doesn't even try to stop it. "Well that's...yeah. That's cool." 

"Shut up, you're grinning like a madman," Kurt laughs. "It's better than cool." 

"You got me. So...you pick me up, what else?" 

"I'm taking you out to dinner," Kurt states. "Somewhere fancy, so wear a suit, and then we'll catch a movie, maybe? Or just come home and...." he trails off, making Blaine laugh when he licks his lips. 

"I like that option better." 

"Cheap date." 

"You know it." 

"So....I have to get back to work," Kurt says awkwardly. 

"Sure, that's okay. I'm just glad you did this, and the flowers are beautiful, so thank you." 

"I hope you feel a little better?"

"I do. I miss you though. Friday can't come quick enough." 

"I know. Three days though, that's all, and then I'll be waiting in that parking lot, and you'd better be prepared to be kissed. A lot. And taken advantage of," he adds with a wink. 

"I'm all yours." 

*

Blaine walks into the kitchen on the morning of his birthday to grab an apple and some coffee, before heading over to Burt's for his proper breakfast. The whole family sits at the table, but no one looks up except his mom. "Happy Birthday, sweetie," she says brightly, making Blaine stop in his tracks. 

"Oh. Thanks." 

"Have a good day, okay?"

"Uh...yeah." 

"And we'll see you for dinner." 

"Huh? No...I'm going out with Kurt."

"Kurt?" 

Blaine sighs, knowing full well she knows who he is. "Yes. My boyfriend. He's flying home especially, and we have a date tonight. I'm staying with him this weekend." 

"You're not," Spencer informs him, not even looking up from his breakfast. "You're having dinner with us." 

"What?" Blaine cries. "Why?" 

"Because it's your birthday, and you're going to spend it with your family, that's why."

"You've never cared before!" Blaine flares. "Christmas, Thanksgiving...any damn time at all! You always seem relieved when I'm not in the house. It's my birthday and I'm spending it with my boyfriend and his dad, because they're my family, not any of you!"

Spencer moves quickly, kicking his chair back and pinning Blaine against the wall with his hands. "You're just a kid, and you'd do well to remember that. I am telling you, you will be here for dinner this evening, and you are not going out on a date or sleeping over anywhere. I am fed up with being asked if my son is dating the Hummel boy. For a start, you're not my son, and I don't want anyone getting confused and thinking it's one of my kids who's the fag, and second, your mom wants you here, so here you will be." 

"But..."

"But nothing," Spencer snarls in his face before returning to his seat. "Dinner is at seven." 

Blaine bites his lip, willing himself not to cry, and then he looks at Simon, Max and James, all smirking as they wait for him to break, and a steely resolve kicks in. Drawing his shoulders back, Blaine stands straight and takes a deep breath. "Fine. I'll be here for dinner at seven, and so will the Hummels. If you don't like it, we'll go and eat elsewhere." 

Without waiting for a reply, he walks swiftly from the house and across the road where Burt waits, the table full of presents and his arms wide open, ready to give one of his bone crushing hugs. As with all things related to Blaine's family, on the outside Burt takes the news calmly, though inside he is raging at their audacity. Having never bothered with him before, now suddenly they're deciding his birthday should be celebrated. Burt wants to go over there and give them a piece of his mind, especially that snivelling weasel of a stepfather, but he can't, for Blaine's sake, so he smiles sweetly instead and pats Blaine's hand. "Sure, we'll be there. I'll tell Kurt for ya when he comes to the shop later." 

"He's gonna be so mad at me." 

"He won't be mad at you Blaine, he'll understand. Maybe they'll let you sleep over tomorrow night instead." 

Burt is right, Kurt isn't mad, just dismayed and disappointed and he spends a long time sitting in the school parking lot in quiet contemplation, but then the students gradually begin to trickle out so he steps from the car and waits for Blaine to arrive. His enthusiasm is infectious and Kurt can see him pushing through the crowds, tripping and stumbling in his effort to break free and run to where Kurt is parked. He manages it eventually, and Kurt is so happy to hold him at last, that he knocks the very breath from him when he crushes him in a tight hug. 

"Blaine!" he cries into his shoulder. "It's been too long. Why does two weeks feel like an eternity? I've been waiting for this and..." 

"Kiss me," Blaine demands, his finger gently lifting Kurt's chin.

Kurt obliges happily, grazing their lips together before coming back in for more, not even caring that they're in a very public place. His arms wind around Blaine's neck and tangle into his hair, while Blaine grips him tight around the waist, breathing in sharply through his nose at the feel of Kurt's tongue running over his lips. He doesn't even care that he moans, opening his mouth wider for Kurt to really devour him, as he becomes suddenly filled with desire and pins Kurt against the car. 

"Home." 

"Hey!" Kurt laughs, nudging him back gently. "Hello, Kurt, how are you?"

"Yeah, yeah," Blaine smiles, kissing his neck. "Take me home and let me undress you."

"Before dinner?" 

Blaine lets his head fall forward to rest on Kurt's shoulder. "Yeah. About that..."

"Don't worry," Kurt says as offhandedly as he can. "We can go out tomorrow instead, yeah?" 

“If-if that’s okay.”

“It’s the only option we have, and I promised you a date, didn’t I?”

“Well you don’t have to,” Blaine frowns. “You make that sound like you’re required to take me out.”

“No, no, I didn’t mean that. Come on, let’s go get coffee somewhere.”

Dismayed, Blaine gets in the car silently, wondering why it’s all awkward when they had been so pleased to see one another. He is surprised when Kurt drives straight home, shuts off the engine, and takes his hand. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it that way at all, and I don’t know who I’m trying to fool. I don’t want coffee, I want you. We have an hour before dad gets home, and if we’re not naked in my bed for at least fifty minutes of that, then we’re nothing more than idiotic time wasters.” 

Blaine smiles and raises Kurt’s hand to his lips, kissing the back of it softly. “Race you.”


	19. Chapter 19

"I'm sorry," Blaine says nervously, as he walks with the Hummels toward his own house. "In advance, for whatever they say. Really sorry." 

"Blaine, quit worrying," Burt says, clapping a hand on his back. "It'll all be okay, I'm sure." 

Kurt says nothing, staring at Blaine and wondering how to reconcile this frightened young thing with the man who sucked him dry only an hour ago. Blaine had been almost debauched this time around, as if he was desperate to prove something, or scared of losing Kurt if he wasn't more adventurous, maybe, when nothing could have been further from the truth. Kurt wanted to tell Blaine this, but had no idea how to do so without hurting his feelings, so he stayed quiet instead, following them dutifully across the road, and briefly grazing his fingers against his as they entered the house. 

"I don't even know why you're here," is the greeting they get from James, the youngest Lane brother. "It's not like any of us want to celebrate Blaine's birthday anyway. It's stupid." 

"Good evening to you too," Kurt smiles, his eyes flicking to Blaine's mom as she walks down the hall. "Mrs. Lane, what a polite child you have." 

"Oh James doesn't mean any harm," she smiles, shaking Burt's hand. "He's just being brotherly." 

Kurt raises one eyebrow and takes Blaine's hand tight in his. "Clearly you and I have very different definitions of brotherly." 

"You have different definitions of most things," Simon snarls, as he storms down the stairs. "Why are you holding his hand? He's not a little kid." 

"No he's not, he's my boyfriend," Kurt spits, taking a step closer, but a warning hand on his shoulder from his dad makes him stop and he glances at Blaine, who looks positively terrified, so he steps back to his side once more. 

"Well, thank you for inviting us, Mrs. Lane," Burt says politely to Blaine's mom, ignoring the muttered "we didn't" from James.

"Angie, please," she smiles, showing them toward the dining room. "And I'm glad you could come," she lies. "Blaine's been so distant recently, I really wanted to celebrate his birthday, to remind him that we're his real family." 

"Yeah, well...that's great," Burt says awkwardly, knowing the comment is aimed at him. He could come back with a million things; like how grateful she was when he offered to have Blaine over Thanksgiving, or how it was assumed he would go there for Christmas before he even asked. How he's been feeding Blaine breakfast for the last six months because he's too terrified to eat in his 'family' home, or even how he had to fit a bolt on his bedroom door, but he doesn't, and Blaine says nothing either, sitting meekly in his chair and smoothing his napkin in his lap. 

"Hello beautiful wife of mine, hey boys," Spencer calls as he enters the room, and takes his place at the head of the table. "Hummels," he says with a cursory glance in their direction. "Blaine." 

"What?" Kurt cries. "Why is....." Another warning hand, over his this time, and a quick shake of Burt's head, has him slumping back in his seat, sulking. He glances at Blaine again, who looks like he's about to throw up, and he wonders if it's always like this for him, if this is what he does, stays silent in the hope no one will notice him. There have been times over the last few months where Blaine has let his confident, sassy and funny side shine through, and it's been glorious. Kurt likes that side of Blaine better than any, because he can see that Blaine keeping him in check, calling him out when he's a jerk, and supporting him, loving him, and traveling through life with him, as an equal. 

Now he's watching as it's destroyed, and not only does meek and mild Blaine come back, but with it comes this fearful young boy who doesn't even speak at his own birthday dinner for fear of reprisal. It's not that Kurt feels nothing for him, far from it, but it jars with the notion of him being twenty eight and in a sexual relationship with him, when all he wants to do is cradle him in his arms as you would a small child. 

The dinner is excruciating. Burt manages to talk shop with Spencer for a while, but it's clear he really has no interest, so he moves on to asking Simon and Max about football, but only gains grudging responses, and a heavy silence falls. 

"Blaine likes football," Burt tries again, but Simon laughs.

"No he doesn't. He's gay." 

"He still likes football," Burt says with a frown. "Isn't that right, Blaine?" 

"Yeah," Blaine whispers. "I do like it."

"I didn't know that, Blaine," Angie says, with a sickly sweet smile that Kurt would like to smack from her face. "You kept that quiet." 

"I've always liked football," Blaine continues, in his quiet voice. "Dad used to take me to the Cleveland games, remember?" 

"Yes, but I assumed you just went to keep him happy."

"I didn't." 

"Football wasn't made for the likes of you," Spencer announces, as Simon and Max giggle like little kids. "Too small, too gay." 

"And clearly, respect, kindness and decency weren't made for the likes of you," Burt declares, throwing his napkin down. "Too ignorant, too dumb."

He stands, much to Kurt and Blaine's astonishment, and looks at Angie. "Thank you for dinner. We have to be going. Boys, come on." 

"Hold up. Boys?" Spencer asks, getting to his feet. "Boys? One boy, thank you. Blaine isn't yours, in case you need reminding, and he's staying here." 

"What?" Blaine cries desperately, reaching for Kurt's hand. "No way! Mom? Please. It's my birthday, and we already cancelled our date to sit through this dinner...please, I always stay with Kurt when he's home...please."

"Not tonight, Blaine," Angie sighs. "It's been quite the evening, and I'm tired. I don't want any more confrontation. Just stay here if that will make Spencer happy." 

Spencer stands tall, towering over Blaine who is seated. "Oh it will." 

"No!" Blaine yells, getting to his feet. "I'm not gonna stay here and..." 

"Blaine." Kurt stands, taking his hand in his and kissing his cheek. "Just stay," he whispers. "It's not worth it. Stay here tonight and I'll see you tomorrow." 

"But..."

"Please," Kurt whispers sadly. "Just stay." 

Blaine backs down, nodding weakly. "I'll um...I'll walk you to the door." 

Out on the porch, Burt hugs him tight. "See you tomorrow kid. I'm sorry. I tried my best to give you a good birthday but..."

"No, no, you did good," Blaine reassures. "Thank you for the gifts, and for what you said in there."

"You are my boy," Burt says gruffly, hugging him tight again. "No matter what anyone says." 

"Thank you." 

"Okay, I'm gonna give you two a moment. Kurt, I'll see you at home." 

He leaves them in an awkward silence, and Blaine stands with his head bowed, staring at the grooves in the porch deck, while Kurt studies him. "I'm sorry, Blaine." 

"I could sneak out?" he offers, lifting his head. His eyes shine with tears, and Kurt feels like the most awful person in the entire world, but he shakes his head.

"Not tonight. I told you, we'll see each other tomorrow." 

"I'm good at getting out," he persists. "All those times I went to Scandals, and no one knew. I can wait until they're all asleep and come over." 

"No, Blaine," Kurt repeats firmly. "I'll see you tomorrow for breakfast. Goodnight." He leans in and kisses his lips briefly, and then is gone, leaving Blaine wondering what in the world he's done to make Kurt not want him anymore, and realizing that he didn't even get a birthday card from his boyfriend. 

*  
Kurt doesn't talk to his dad, just goes right up the stairs to bed even though it's barely nine, and lies there for hours, wondering how to even start dealing with his mess of emotions. He knows he will have to talk with Blaine tomorrow, but he also knows he doesn't want to. He wants one of those days where they can just forget about anything and everything else, like they had at New Years. He hears his door opening a little after one in the morning, and figures it will be his dad coming to check on him, so he feigns sleep like he used to do as a child, waiting for him to go away, but he doesn't. The door closes, and he hears footsteps approaching his bed, so he turns reluctantly, then yells loudly. 

"Fuck! Blaine! How did you get in?" 

"I have a key."

"Get out!" he cries, turning his lamp on and casting the room in a dim glow. "You can't creep into other people's bedrooms in the middle of the night, you freak!"

"But I thought you wanted to see me?" Blaine asks sadly, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. 

"I told you to stay at your house tonight!"

"I didn't... I thought you were just saying that to calm the situation."

"No! I was saying it because I meant it, Blaine! I need time to sort my head out." 

"Oh." 

"I'm sorry," Kurt says, running a hand over his face. 

"This isn't working, is it?" Blaine asks quietly, and Kurt shakes his head sadly. 

"No, it's not." 

Blaine looks at the floor, wondering what he's supposed to do or say now, but Kurt beats him to it. 

"I don't know why," Kurt carries on in a trembling voice, and Blaine looks up sharply to see him sitting up against his pillows, crying. "Because I want it to, so much," he whispers, as his tears fall harder. 

"Oh, Kurt." Blaine sighs heavily, sitting on the edge of the bed and pulling him into his arms. 

"I want to be with you, I really do!"

"I know, and I feel the same, but I just think we both have too much to deal with right now, wouldn't you say?" 

"I guess," Kurt sniffs into his shoulder. "God. Do you ever wanna just run away and start over?" 

"All the time." 

"Come on." Kurt says, getting out of bed and throwing a heavy coat in Blaine's direction. "Let's go." 

"What? Where? We can't just..." But Kurt has pants on already, and a heavy sweater over his pajama top. 

"We can," he says firmly, pulling on his coat and reaching for his keys. "Now come on." 

Blaine follows, feeling complete panic and wondering what in the world Kurt is thinking of, but he doesn't dare ask until he turns onto the highway and starts to drive fast. "Are we really running away?" 

Kurt laughs and shakes his head, and relief floods through Blaine, bringing much needed warmth to his bones. "Just for a few hours, maybe." 

"Okay." 

"Like you'd ever run away to live with me, even if I asked." 

"You never have," Blaine points out. 

"Okay. Blaine? Will you move to New York and live with me?" 

"No." 

"See? Why?" 

"Because this relationship is tentative at best and completely fucked up at worst. Moving in together would completely destroy everything." 

"Good point, though I wish you wouldn't curse. I don't like hearing you say stuff like that unless it's when I'm giving you pleasure. What do you think the issue is?" 

"In you giving me pleasure?" Blaine asks in surprise. "None." 

"With us, you fool," Kurt laughs. "Damn you, why do you have to be so perfect when I'm thinking of breaking up with you?" 

"What?" Blaine yells. "You're breaking up with me? Already? It's only been two weeks!" 

"I don't want to, I told you that, but I just think you're too young for all this." 

"Screw you," Blaine spits. "Let me out of the car." 

"Not a chance." 

"Let me out." 

"No. I'm sorry, Blaine, but it's not....there are times that it's perfect but times like today, when it's not." 

"Because of my family!" Blaine shouts loudly, filing the car with his anger. "It's not my fault that they chose today to treat me like a kid, is it? I can't help..."

"...You're sixteen!"

"Seventeen, you jerk, I had my shitty birthday, in case you'd forgotten. It was the day when everyone except your dad reminded me that they don't love me." 

"Hey! I flew home for you!" 

"To break it off, evidently!"

"Not true! I don't want to do this Blaine, but I am so fucked up..." 

"Don't start with all that, Kurt," Blaine snaps. "It's not you, it's me, blah blah blah. I don't want to hear it. That thing....that thing that you practically admitted to on New Years....what you felt for me….clearly you don't, do you? Is that what you say to get laid?" 

"No!" Kurt thunders. "I would never ever have...I've never felt this way for anyone, Blaine, and that is completely honest. That's what I mean, about running away from it all. If it was just you and me...it would be perfect. Us, together, is perfect. But the rest of the world gets in the way. School, family, New York...and I hate that." 

"So don't let it," Blaine urges. "Lets...I don't know, work out times we can call each other, and visits and stuff. I could come to you?"

"No you couldn't." 

"Why not?" 

"Because." 

"Because why? How am I supposed to get to know you if you won't let me in? I wanted a boyfriend, Kurt, and I wanted it to be you, but not like this, with me shut out of such a large part of your life." 

"You're too intense, Blaine. The calls are endless, the texts..."

"I didn't mean to be," Blaine tells him honestly. "I was just so happy." 

"And that's cute, but..."

"I'm worried, too," he admits. "Because it's like....I know nothing about that side of your life, other than the bars and the guys, and that scares me. I'll admit it, I like you being on the phone to me, because then I know where you are." 

"You can't keep tabs on me, Blaine." 

"That's not what I'm trying to do."

"You're too young to deal with that side of my life," Kurt snaps. "There. I've said it." 

"You make me laugh, Kurt, because there you are, protesting that you don't want things to end, yet you're thinking of every possible excuse to call it all off. You can't have it both ways." 

Silence falls, full of angry simmering resentment, as Kurt continues to speed down the highway. "Where are we going?" Blaine asks after a while, but Kurt doesn't even take his eyes off the road. 

"I know where we're going." 

"But where?" 

"You'll find out when we get there." 

Blaine goes silent again, and stares out the window into the black night, eventfully drifting off into a restless sleep for a couple of hours, until Kurt gently shakes him awake. 

"We're here." 

"Huh?" Blaine stretches and yawns, then peers out the window into the gloom. "Maple Heights cemetery," he says quietly. "You....you brought me to see my dad." 

"It's the right place?"

"I dunno. Are we in Cleveland? I was sleeping."

"Yes," Kurt says quietly. "We're in Cleveland. It's only four thirty though, so we've got a while to wait for it to open." 

"Why did you do this?" 

"Well, it wasn't my intention to run away with you in the middle of the night, but I knew you haven't been back, and I figured you might like to pay a visit." 

"Thank you," Blaine says sincerely. "There's no way my car would make the journey so...yeah, thanks." 

Kurt reaches for his hand, squeezing it tight. "I'm sorry your birthday was so awful, and I'm sorry for the way I am." 

"It's all too confusing," Blaine tells him honestly. "I never know where I am. Two weeks ago you were full of all these wild promises and declarations of feelings and now you're saying the complete opposite. Then there's my stupid family, who blow hot and cold. How do you think that dinner made me feel? I swear they only set it up to humiliate me. They knew I'd insist on you two coming, which is probably why they didn't object. No doubt they saw it as an opportunity to make me look ridiculous." 

"Blaine, I don't think..."

"And then you told me to stay there. You know, don't you, that if at that point you'd stood up for me, your dad wouldn't have backed down either? But you left, and all I heard for the rest of the evening- which I spent alone in my room crying, by the way- was comments about how even the gay guy across the road didn't want me. They stayed outside my bedroom door all night, until my mom eventually told them to give it a rest about midnight. That's what I live with, Kurt." 

"I get that, and I'm sorry. Maybe I should have done more, but I was struck with how childlike you suddenly seemed, and it freaked me out." 

"I'm not a child, damnit!" Blaine shouts, slamming his hands on the dash. "I'm not a child and I don't need your pity, Kurt."

"I find it so hard to reconcile these two halves of you though. When we're together at my place you're this sassy, fun guy, who makes me stupidly horny whenever you glance in my direction. Then I see you around them, and you're this frightened little boy, and all I want to do is take you in my arms and hold you tight." 

"So why do they have to be exclusive to one another?" Blaine questions. "If you're in a relationship with someone, you should want to comfort them and help them. I can't help the way they make me feel, Kurt. I've tried and I've tried to stand up to them, but there just doesn't seem any point now, so I lie low. I have a little over a year left, and if I can just get through that..." 

"But the way they spoke to you, and you were just sitting there, taking it." 

"What am I supposed to do? Stand up and fight? You've seen Spencer, Kurt. He's a bully." 

"Ugh this is madness!" Kurt cries. "We're going around in circles, Blaine. All I'm trying to say is that yes, I want this to work out, but there are such huge obstacles in our way right now, on both sides, and I don't know if we can work around them." 

They fall silent again, both staring out the window at nothing, as they try to come to terms with all that's been said. Kurt notices Blaine pulling his coat tighter around himself, and though the night is mild for January, it's still cold. 

"Let's get in the back," Kurt suggests. "I have blankets in the trunk, and I'll put the heat on." 

Blaine does as he's told, and when Kurt holds his arms open to him, he finds himself going willingly, settling half on top of Kurt, as they lie across the seat. It feels so good, so right, to be held like this, with Kurt's fingers trailing along his back, under his coat and sweater. He's nearly asleep again, and he assumes Kurt is the same, but then he feels a soft kiss in his hair. 

"If I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone? Especially not my dad." 

Blaine turns to look at him, surprised by the question, and he props himself up so he can see his face properly. "Sure." 

"I don't work for Vogue." 

"Excuse me?" 

"I never have. I did an internship there through college, and after, everyone was saying how they'd hire me for sure, but then they didn't."

"I've seen your name on the website though, under some articles."

"I write an online column, once a week, that is unpaid. Anyone can do it if they approve you." 

"So what do you do?" 

"I'm a shift manager in a coffee shop, out in Brooklyn, which is where I live." Kurt pauses, taking a deep breath, and realizing this is it now, no going back. "I don't have a fancy apartment, I don't have loads of money, in fact, I don't have any money at all. I'm a failure, Blaine, at everything. My apartment is tiny. Santana keeps saying that we should get a place together, somewhere bigger, but I still want to live on my own. I have nothing. No credible job, no real friends, no fancy Manhattan lifestyle, just me, in my shoebox apartment by the train station, and an unfathomable amount of knowledge in the art of making a decent cappuccino." 

"But why don't you just tell your dad that?" 

"He'd be so disappointed!" Kurt cries, sitting up and shaking his head. "All through college he would tell anyone who would listen how I was going to be this fantastic journalist, then I got the internship, and it was like I'd been elected president. On and on about how this would open up doors for me, and they'd hire me for sure, but when a job came up I didn't even get asked to interview. They kept my online column, but that was it. That's all I'm worth to them, just a small online spot that's easily replaceable. I used to apply for every job that came up, but now I don't even bother. I wish I could quit writing the column, but I wouldn't dare, I know dad looks at it. He questions why I don't appear on there more, and I just tell him it's because I'm busy behind the scenes. It's fashion, so I could tell him anything and he'd buy it. I hate my life, Blaine. Hate it. It's miserable and it's lonely and I wish I could start all over again." 

"So that's why your dad never visits you." 

"And that's why I make myself broke flying home, yes. The last time he came, I told him he had to stay in a hotel because I had a guy living with me but I didn't, I just didn't want him finding out that I lived in Brooklyn. One look at my apartment and he'd realize." 

"Doesn't he have your address though?"

"No." 

"Your partying, how do you fund that?"

"How do you think I fund it?" Kurt snaps, his cheeks flaming in the dark. "I put out if people buy me drinks, and they catch onto that pretty quickly." 

"Wow," Blaine says softly, letting it all sink in. "Why did you... How... I mean.... I don't know," he says eventually. "I don't know what to say. Why did you feel the need to lie like that? To give such a false impression? You bought me a two hundred dollar shirt at Thanksgiving when you could have just left it on the shelf. Are you in debt? From all the clothes you buy?" 

"I'm not in debt but I'm pretty close to it," Kurt lies, not able to admit the whole truth. "What else? I bought you the shirt because I wanted to do something nice for you, and in my shallow mind, buying someone designer clothes equates to something nice, and I lie like that because..." He stops a moment, thinking. "Because I was like you," he says sadly. "I was broken, worn down, and hurt and I wanted more. I deserved more. I got into NYU and I was doing so well. When Jeremy started paying me attention I felt like it was what I'd been waiting for, you know? The time, attentions and wallet of an older guy who wanted to keep me in just the manner I wanted to be kept in. He bought me clothes, drinks, books, DVDs, anything I wanted. Of course, he was buying my silence and discretion, but I didn't really think about it like that. In my head, I thought this wild hedonistic lifestyle was the one I was meant for." 

Kurt pauses and Blaine realizes they're both crying, holding each other's hands, as Kurt's tale becomes sadder. "Those bullies at school had stamped on me so many times, ground me down and made me feel so worthless and useless, that that’s all I thought I was worth. My dad assumed I was doing really well and it became easier to lie about it all, to cover up how I was feeling, than to admit the truth. The same after college too. I felt, and I still do feel, this desperate need to be the center of attention, to be the one that no one can defeat. Do you know, Blaine, that I've had threesomes with a guy and a girl, just so I can watch the girl's face when I fuck her boyfriend? So she can watch how much he's enjoying me, and know that I'm better than her, that I can give him what he needs? I haven't got any interest in women, I just like to piss them off and prove some futile and worthless point." 

"Kurt, that's...that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard." 

"I won't tell you the rest then." 

"No. Please don't. Jesus."

"Are you angry at me?" 

"I don't know what to think," Blaine admits honestly. "A lot of things are making sense, such as why you're so reluctant to let anyone be close to you, and why you're so scared of getting hurt. I'm not mad about the lying. Surprised, for sure, and sad, but not mad. The stuff you've just told me though...I struggle with that. I'm bullied, I go through mental torment every damn day of my life, and I try so hard not to let them grind me down. I know how tough it is, but I don't think you can blame all your actions on high school bullies. If you think that excuses you then you need to seek help. You're twenty eight. They've made you bitter, sure, and angry too, but that doesn't excuse your behavior." 

"I know."

"I think the saddest thing, for me, is the stuff I'm realizing about us." 

"Such as?" 

"We're never gonna work out, Kurt. Not like this." 

Kurt hangs his head. "No, I know." 

"We want completely different things in life. I want a quiet life, married to someone I love, with a couple of kids, and you want to...to...to...I don't know, destroy yourself, I think." 

"I want to be with you."

"I'm never gonna be enough for you," Blaine says sadly, wiping away his tears. "However much I give you, it's never gonna be enough, you'll never be satisfied." 

"I'll try!" Kurt cries, taking Blaine's face in his hands. "Please? I really want us to try, I just...." 

"If we do..." Blaine starts slowly. "Things would have to change. You'd have to come clean to your dad, for a start. I'm not going to rat you out, but you need to tell him exactly what the situation is." 

"Okay." 

"You need to be honest with me too." 

"I will." 

"And," he pauses, cupping Kurt's cheek lightly in his hand. "You need to let yourself be loved." 

"Yes," Kurt whispers, closing his eyes with a contented sigh as Blaine's fingers slide back into his hair. "I can do that." 

Blaine leans close, his lips inches from Kurt's. "Good." 

He closes the gap, grazing his lips softly over Kurt's, who leans up for more. Blaine kisses him again, with slightly more pressure, but stops, resting their foreheads together. "Don't hurt me," he whispers with his eyes closed. "Just promise me that." 

"I promise," Kurt says sincerely, and Blaine kisses him hard, desperately, and Kurt responds, sliding down on the back seat and pulling Blaine on top of him. 

It’s too cold to do anything involving no clothes, but they’re content with the kissing, in fact Kurt is more than happy, lying there with the solid comforting weight of Blaine on top of him and the warmth and reassurance his kisses bring. He can do this, he realizes. He can let Blaine love him and he can give his entire self to this relationship. 

“Hey,” he says sweetly, when their kissing breaks. “The cemetery’s open. You wanna go in?”

“Mmmhmm,” Blaine murmurs, kissing along Kurt’s jaw. “Will you come with me though? I don’t want to go alone.”

“Of course I will,” Kurt tells him, secretly thrilled that Blaine has asked. “I’ll go wherever you want.”


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Kurt,

I hope you got home safely, and that you’ve had time to think and reflect on all we talked about. I was actually emailing you to say thank you. I know that this weekend wasn’t necessarily all we planned, but it worked out okay in the end, didn’t it? I’m sorry for losing it at my dad’s grave. I didn’t mean to get so upset, but I think that’s the first thing I need to thank you for. The way you held me, kissed me, and all that you said...it meant so much to me. The second thing is my birthday gift, even if we did fight over my acceptance of it. You can do thoughtful things, who knew? ;) When Max stamped on my watch I kinda figured I wouldn’t wear one again, and it’s sweet that you noticed. To be honest, I won’t wear the one you gave me to school or at home, for fear of it getting the same treatment, but when I’m at your dad's house I will, or when I’m going out. Thank you for Saturday night. I’m blushing as I type, so yeah, that’s about all I can say really. It was...awesome. So call me tomorrow, okay? I figure that gives you a day to get settled back in New York, and catch up with Santana, and I’m wary of being too intense. 

Love,   
Blaine xxxx

**Two weeks later.**

Blaine arrives at work as he does every Tuesday after school, setting his bag down out back and changing quickly, before finding Burt in the office. "Hey there," he says brightly, trying for nonchalance.

"No I haven't," Burt replies, without looking up from his paperwork.

"Haven't what?"

"Heard from Kurt."

"Oh...that. I'd forgotten all about that, to be honest," Blaine says offhandedly as he drinks a quick glass of water, and heads into the garage. 

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that, sunshine." 

Burt waits until he can hear Blaine talking with Logan and John out in the shop, then he takes his phone out, and sends yet another text to Kurt. 

**You have a lot to answer for, Kurt. How can you do this to him? You led him on, made him think that you loved him, and the second you were back in New York, that was it.**

He waits, and sure enough the little box comes up to let him know it's been read, but no answer is forthcoming, and he sighs heavily and holds his head in his hands. 

"Burt?" 

He looks up sharply to see Blaine standing in the doorway, wringing his hands. "Do you think maybe...I did something wrong? I know I got really upset at the cemetery, but I thought he was okay with it. Maybe it put him off?" 

"Blaine, my son, I don't know. I wish I could give you any clue at all, but I can't. I can only tell you that I am so angry at him, and if I were you, I'd forget about him altogether." 

"Okay," Blaine nods, trying to appear happy and upbeat. "Well, maybe he'll be in touch soon." 

But the only word they get is a quick message from Kurt to his dad, saying that he's okay, but needs to be left alone, and all the promises he had made to Blaine now lie in a shattered pile of dreams. Another month passes before Burt decides enough is enough, and lying to Blaine and saying he's visiting a cousin for the weekend, he boards a plane to New York. 

It takes twenty seven consecutive calls, but eventually Kurt picks up, worried it might be an emergency. "What?"

"Don't talk to me like that!" Burt booms over the phone. "After all you've put me and Blaine through. I'm here." 

"Where?"

"In New York." 

"What?" Kurt shrieks. "No! Go home. You can't be here, you just can't!"

"Calm down, Blaine isn't with me, and he doesn't even know I'm here. Can I come to your apartment?"

"No you cannot."

"Why?"

"Because you'd get lost. Where are you?"

"In my hotel. It's just off Times Square." 

"I'll meet you there in an hour," Kurt snaps, and the phone goes dead.

*

"Another hook up?" Santana asks, as she flicks through his tv channels. "Your dick will fall off." 

"My dad's in town." 

"Oh-ho!" she laughs, sitting up straight. "Shit's about to get real." 

"Fuck off."

"I can't fuck off, can I?" she snarls, resuming her channel hopping. "I haven't got anywhere to fuck off to, have I? Through no fault of my own." 

"Okay, I'm sorry," Kurt says resignedly. "I have to get going, anyway."

"He's gonna have to move out sooner or later," Santana calls, as Kurt moves through to the tiny bedroom. "I love you to pieces, but sharing this shithole with you is not conducive to a happy friendship." 

"I know that, but I'm not gonna have him live with me." 

"Kurt. When Jeremy showed up, we agreed he could have my apartment for a couple of weeks. That was six weeks ago, and he's still there. I'm sharing a bed with a gay male, while he lies next door in my beautiful bed, waiting for you to suck his dick. Please either do so, or tell him to fuck off and never return." 

"I can't do that!" Kurt says in despair. "His marriage broke up because of me. I feel like this is the least I can do." 

"Hey, you lost the love of your life trying to help the guy, I'd say you've done enough. Tell Jeremy it isn't working, and he needs to leave, then work on trying to win the boy back. Anyway, his marriage broke up because whatever he is, a heterosexual male isn't it. He has a penchant for boys under the age of eighteen, as do you, evidently." 

"It's not a penchant," Kurt yells back to her, as he pulls on his boots. "It's one. THE one. And he hates me." 

"How would you know? You haven't spoken to him." 

"Santana." Kurt sighs, stepping into the living room and leaning his hands on the back of the couch. "I came back here six weeks ago, on cloud fucking nine hundred and ninety nine. I come skipping off the subway with a shit eating grin on my face, dreaming of the day Blaine would move to New York to be with me, and wham, I round the corner to come face to face with a fifty year old man, crying and telling me his wife has kicked him out. On my doormat I have three, five figure credit card bills, and no way of paying them, because I've been blowing all my money flying back and forth to Ohio, and then Jeremy asks if he can move in. It's two halves, Santana. This idealistic perfect life with Blaine is all just a dream. This shitty life in New York is my reality, and that's why I can't contact him, cause he'll suck me back in." 

"He'll suck you for sure," she cackles. "You're an idiot though. Blaine's giving you the chance you want, you're just not man enough to take it." 

"I'm going," Kurt growls, grabbing his bag. "I'll be back later." 

He knows his dad is angry the second he sees him pacing back and forth in Times Square. When he approaches and comes into his line of vision, Burt doesn't even try to hug him, just nods stiffly and asks where they can go to get coffee, and Kurt leads him down a couple of blocks, trying not to feel too hurt at his coldness. 

"So," he says, setting a cappuccino in front of him. "How's Blaine?"

"What's all this?" Burt asks, staring at his cup in horror. "Is this foam? Why do I want this? I just want coffee." 

"It is coffee, dad," Kurt sighs. "Just drink it and tell me how he is." 

"He's actually good, no thanks to you," Burt tells him, running his spoon through the coffee and frowning at it. "He wasn't at first, but now he's given up, and honestly, that was the best thing he could have done. He has a show choir competition next week, which is exciting, and he's busy with his friends in the science club." 

"But he misses me?" 

"He did, and I think it's been a struggle, but like I said, he's good. He knew it was coming." 

"Knew what was coming?"

"The hurt," Burt says matter of factly. "Said he knew you'd break his heart one day, and that he's glad it was sooner rather than later, so he wasn't in too deep and can move on." 

"Is that....is that some kind of joke?" Kurt asks in stunned disbelief. "He's over me?" 

Burt sets his spoon down with a clatter, pushing his untouched cappuccino to the side. "Kurt, I didn't say he was over you. He's hopelessly in love with you, but he knows it's never gonna work between the two of you, so he's moving on. Has it ever occurred to you that Blaine might have other things on his mind? Like the torment he still goes through at home, or the bullying at school? Then there's school work too, which he's very diligent about, his job at the shop, work on Bessie, his friends, even me. He has other things in his life, Kurt, not just you and your cold shoulder." 

"Wow," Kurt says quietly, then sips his coffee in contemplative silence for a while. "I guess you're right." His voice is sad, and Burt finds himself pleased that maybe Kurt is realizing it's not all about him. 

"So you can move on," Burt says into the quiet. "Clear conscience and all of that. I mean, I'm livid as hell, but Blaine's been kicked down so many times, one more time ain't gonna ruin him." 

Kurt winces, feeling sick at the thought of Blaine being used and hurt over and over, and it hits him. He's no different than the rest. Spencer and his sons, Blaine's mom, the school bullies....Kurt's right there among them, hurting him too, making him feel bad, destroying his confidence. He had held Blaine in his arms at Carl Anderson's graveside. He had encouraged Blaine to talk, and listened as Blaine spilled his deepest, innermost thoughts out into the open, admitting all his fears and hopes for the future to his dad, wherever he was now. He had cradled Blaine against his chest, crying with him, and reassuring him over and over that he was there, he would always be there, for as long as Blaine wanted him. 

It had hurt slightly that Blaine hadn't declared his love, or told Kurt that he wanted him for all eternity, and Kurt certainly wasn't going to be the one to admit to those things first, but then he supposed Blaine had been preoccupied, so they had wearily traveled home, and after having had no sleep all night, napped until late afternoon. 

They did eventually get to go on their date, when Kurt took Blaine to Breadstix Italian, where they happily shared pizza. It wasn't the exclusive Japanese restaurant he had planned in Columbus, but it was completely perfect for them. Relaxed, flirtatious and fun, they had come away from the meal feeling like nothing could touch them, and that night they had spent hours bringing pleasure to each other twice over. It maybe wasn't the full on love making Kurt had been thinking might happen, but then again he found he didn't mind, that feeling Blaine swallowing around him was more intense than anything he had ever experienced, which is why round two had happened shortly after. As for Blaine himself, Kurt had realized he would never tire of making him reach orgasm. There was something so beautiful in the soft cry that came from his lips as he arched his back, the exquisite way in which his whole body shuddered and his eyes closed, that Kurt would spend all day doing whatever was needed to make Blaine come, if that were physically possible. 

He had left him at Columbus airport, kissing him full on the mouth. Once again, no declaration had been forthcoming, but it occurred to Kurt on the plane home that maybe Blaine was waiting for him to say it first. Grinning, and trying to hide his face in the window, he had resolved to get skype going the second he arrived home, and he knew it would come out blurted and rushed, but he needed to tell Blaine how much he loved him, how much he missed him already, and how he couldn't wait to see him again. 

Coming home to Jeremy had been a shock, and a deeply unpleasant one at that. Kurt had realized that Jeremy thinking to come to him, before anyone else, probably meant his feelings for him were deeper than Kurt had ever thought they were, though since Kurt had put him in Santana's apartment and refused to put out, he noticed his affections had waned somewhat. Still, this mess, and the amount of extra shifts he had to cover in order to keep his head above water, had meant he had done the inevitable; shut Blaine out and crushed their relationship. How would he even start to explain what had happened? "By the way Blaine, I have a guy living with me?" It wouldn't go over well. 

He feels like the worlds worst person, but it only goes to confirm what Kurt has always thought; he is not made for relationships, and he is not worthy of being loved. 

"Good," Kurt says brightly, taking a trembling breath, and hoping his dad doesn't notice. "I'm glad he's moving on. It's a shame things didn't work out for us but..."

"You didn't even try." 

"Dad, I am in no position to be dating a seventeen year old boy who lives six hundred miles away." 

"You could be," Burt points out. "If you just let things evolve naturally, rather than goin' all weird on him the second you set foot in New York." 

"It's complicated between us." 

"Didn't look that way to me," Burt huffs, folding his arms and staring his son down. "In fact, I'd say you two never looked happier than you did that last day." 

"Too many extraneous factors." 

"There's not as far as Blaine is concerned. If that's the excuse you’re using, then maybe he really is better off without you."

"Yeah, maybe he is."

"Why are you like this, Kurt?" 

"Why are you here?" 

"Okay, I'll tell you why," Burt snaps brusquely, "seeing as you're not gonna be straight with me. I'm here because I haven't given up on you, and neither has Blaine. I'm here because you think it's okay to treat us like dirt, and forget all about us sitting back home in Ohio, waiting for your call, but most of all, I'm here because I don't actually think you're like that at all. You're my little boy," he says, reaching for Kurt’s hand when he rolls his eyes. 

"You're not this hardened, miserable character you present to the world, the one who drinks and parties and takes home different guys. You're the little boy I raised, who was polite, sweet and unassuming, who dreamed of marrying a handsome prince and living happily ever after. You're the man who looks at Blaine with more love and affection than I've ever seen, and the man who kisses him sweetly whenever he thinks I'm not looking, just cause you need to be close to him. I wasn't thrilled at first, I'll admit, but these last few months I've seen how happy both of you have been as a result of being together, and I've had the great privilege of watching my son fall in love with someone who loves him just as much in return. I was watching your dreams come true, Kurt, and now you seem hell bent on throwing all that away, and I'm not gonna let that happen, because I don't for one second think that's what you really want." 

Kurt wipes at his silent tears, but they seem never ending, and he pushes his chair back from the table quickly, needing to be anywhere other than where he is right now. "I have to go," he chokes out. "You shouldn't have come, dad. Blaine and I aren't ever going to amount to anything, and it's better that way, trust me." 

"Kurt!" Burt runs after him, just managing to catch him by the elbow before he can round the corner and disappear out of sight. Ignoring his shout of protest, Burt pulls his fragile son into one of his crushing hugs, and keeps him there until he feels Kurt break and sag against him, his arms wrapping around him as he cries loudly. 

"I can't," Kurt chokes out, rubbing at his eyes. "I can't do this, dad." 

"Kurt, come on buddy. Let me take you home, huh? To your apartment? We can....I don't know, we can get take out, kick back and relax a while, and I promise you we won't talk about Blaine if it upsets you."

"No," Kurt says firmly. "I have to go. I'll meet you tomorrow. Times Square again. You can take me shopping. Eleven?" 

"You don't change, do you?" Burt says with a laugh. He means it as a joke in regard to Kurt's love of clothes, but it only serves to make him frown, pulling out of his dad's embrace entirely, and tugging on his jacket. 

"Cold hearted money grubbing sex fiend, that's me."

"No Kurt, I didn't mean it like that, come on," Burt pleads. "I've come all this way for us to spend some time together."

"Does he know?"

"Blaine? No, and I won't be telling him either. Not right now."

"Why?"

Burt sighs, taking off his baseball cap and running a hand over his head. "Because I thought I'd be the hero of the hour, I thought I’d be able to go home and tell him to expect your call, or even better, have you with me, but you won't talk with me, you won't let me into your apartment...."

"I'm living with Jeremy," Kurt snaps in anger. "Now will you please just drop it? Blaine and I are nothing, and we never will be," he cries, silently adding that he will never be worthy of Blaine's love, given that he's such a failure at everything else. "I'll be in Times Square at eleven." 

He walks away quickly, leaving a shocked Burt standing on the corner of eighth avenue, wondering why his son insists on being so cold, cruel and heartless. 

Burt tries again the next day, but Kurt, wearing dark glasses which he refuses to take off despite the gloomy day, won't open up, finally snapping at his dad to leave well enough alone, and adding that if he insists on talking any more about Blaine he will walk away and never return. So they share a stilted, awkward lunch, before Burt does the only thing he knows he can do to make Kurt moderately happy, and that is to spend an obscene amount of money on buying him clothes. 

"I'm going now," Kurt suddenly announces mid afternoon. "Places to go, people to see," he adds with a wink, and his dad frowns and looks away. 

"I don't think I wanna know." 

"You probably don't," Kurt says arily. "But I've got an itch to scratch, so to speak." 

"Kurt, why are you like this?" 

He looks away when he sees tears in his dad's eyes. He could tell him the reason he has to leave is because he has the evening shift at the coffee shop. He could also add that there's no way in a million years he could ever imagine letting anyone other than Blaine near him again, and he could also explain everything else while he's at it, but he doesn't. He shrugs his shoulders and collects his bags instead, and tries to give his dad an awkward, one armed hug. "Thanks for coming, I guess. I'll see you soon."

"In Ohio?"

"I don't think I'll be back for a while."

"Then please be gracious enough to tell Blaine that, so he can move on." 

*

Another two months pass, and of course, Blaine doesn't hear from Kurt at all. Now well used to dealing with heartache and disappointment on a large scale, Blaine refuses to dwell on things. Sam and Mike take him on a road trip for Easter break, and they figure he might open up about it then, but he doesn't. He does, however, allow himself to relax and have fun, even flirting and dancing with a few guys in a gay bar in Minneapolis, though he practically runs screaming when one tries to kiss him, prompting Mike to pose as his boyfriend for protection. 

Back home, the merciless taunts continue. To the delight of Simon, Max and James, the obvious breakup of Blaine and Kurt has given them new ammunition, and when Spencer makes a cruel joke about Blaine not being worthy of love even from a gay guy, they then ride the comment out for weeks, making Blaine's life hell.

So he throws himself into working on Bessie with Burt. The car is coming along well, and another trip to the car auction in Tennessee had them buying all the remaining parts needed to complete her interior. 

"Next step will be paint work," Burt says proudly one morning. 

They often have conversations like this. Blaine has only just arrived in the kitchen, yet Burt picks up where they left off yesterday, pushing Blaine's coffee and toast toward him. 

"That'll probably take most of the summer though. Then it'll be wheels, but yeah, I'm happy with how she's comin."

He looks up from the car manual when Blaine doesn't respond, and finds him standing there, wringing his hands. "Uhmm, so, I'm not gonna be able to work on Bessie much longer," Blaine says in a voice which trembles with emotion. 

"What? Did that jerk tell you that? Cause I'll..."

"No, no," Blaine says quickly, pushing Burt back down in his chair before sitting next to him. "I mean he did, yeah, but not... We're moving," he says sadly. "To Baltimore. Spencer's been relocated. We move as soon as the school year ends."


	21. Chapter 21

"W-what?" Burt stammers weakly. "You can't move. You just can't. You're my... I mean... You can't move," he implores. "Please Blaine, tell me it's a joke." 

"No joke," Blaine says, shaking his head. "Spencer just told me. They had a family meeting last night, not that I knew about it, or was even asked to attend. My mom said it was because they knew I'd complain. So the decision is made. School gets out in a month, and we leave the next day." 

"But..." Burt trails off, swallowing hard. There is so much he wants to say, and so many worries and concerns he has right now, but he can see how close Blaine is to the edge. "Did you tell Kurt?" is all he manages, and Blaine frowns at the mention of his name. 

"No. Why would I? I came right over to tell you. Anyway, I've given up trying to contact him since I never get a reply. I'm more concerned about telling Mike and Sam. I don't wanna leave," he says, his voice cracking as he starts to cry. "I mean, living with them is horrible, but despite that I love it here. I have friends, real ones, and I have you, the best friend I've ever known, and I don't wanna go somewhere new, another school where Max will out me and the bullying will begin all over again, only this time there won't be anywhere to run, no garage to hide in, no one to hug me and...I'm scared," he finishes, wiping at his tears. "I'm really scared." 

"You and me both," Burt says, pulling Blaine into a hug. "Come on," he says, rubbing his hands over his back. "Don't get upset. You can visit, huh? And y'know, when you're in college, you can just come home to me rather than going to them. One year," he adds, placing a kiss into his hair like he does with Kurt. "That's all, and you'll always be my boy, whatever happens." 

"One year," Blaine echoes despairingly. "One year."

"Let's make the most of the time we do have then," Burt says as brightly as he can, clapping Blaine on the shoulder. "You go on out to the garage and get started. I'll catch up to you. Just gotta use the bathroom." 

It’s not often that Burt cries, but he does the second the door closes, sinking back into his chair and covering his face with his hands. Huge, trembling sobs of despair at the thought of losing Blaine, and the fear he has for his safety. Sitting there, alone at his kitchen table, Burt realizes that a few short months ago he felt as though he had two sons, and now he feels like he's lost everything. 

His relationship with Kurt seems to be at an all time low, he only hears from him sporadically via text, and he refuses to answer any of Burt's calls. Now Blaine, the child he had decided in his head was his, was leaving him too. 

"I don't wanna lose him," he says to no one, before he cries harder, resting his head on his folded arms. 

Behind the garage door Blaine sits on the floor, head bowed onto his knees, silently crying. It's pretty difficult not to hear Burt, and he wishes he could run back inside and comfort him, but he also knows how embarrassed Burt would be, so he sits and waits and tries not to feel like the worst person in the world for moving away and abandoning him. 

After possibly the longest bathroom trip ever, Burt comes into the garage, whistling a random tune and giving Blaine a sharp nod. "Right. Let's get this passenger seat fixed. I noticed a tiny tear the other day, but I'll reckon your fingers are nimble enough to hold a needle and thread, what do you say?"

"You can't sew seat leather with regular thread," Blaine says, frowning at the tiny rip Burt is pointing to. "But it can be repaired. You just need something stronger." 

"Like rope?" 

"Not rope," Blaine laughs. "Jeez, I wonder where Kurt gets his love of sewing from?" 

"I'd like to think from me," Burt says smugly. 

"Yeah, I'll bet you would," Blaine says, still laughing as he starts to rummage through a box of supplies they keep on the workbench. "Should I tell him?" 

"Kurt?"

"Yeah." 

"Yeah." Burt sighs heavily, leaning on the bench next to him. "It's one of those things. You probably won't hear from him, but then if you don't tell him, it's the type of thing he'd blow up about."

Blaine bows his head, nodding in agreement. "I thought he was the one," he admits quietly. "The naivety of a sixteen year old, maybe, but I thought that once he'd agreed to give us a chance, that would be it. I didn't even realize until after he'd gone that I was dreaming of marriage and babies already. I'd never even entertained the idea before. Not like...now," he adds with a small laugh. "But I just realized that I could see it; our future together." 

"Well, I'd like you to have a future together, even if it's not as a couple," Burt says. "Because I don't want either of you to feel like you don't belong here, or that being around each other is awkward. The chances are, now, that you won't see each other for a long time. Maybe that's for the best." Putting an arm around Blaine's shoulders, he continues in a softer tone. "I'm sorry you dreamed all that buddy, but I coulda told you Kurt would never be the man for that. When you get to Baltimore, don't go hitting up those gay bars, okay? You deserve true love. Reciprocated true love," he adds firmly. "You won't find that in a bar. Take your time, get to know a few people, join a LGBT group maybe. Open yourself up to the idea of finding love with someone other than Kurt. He might be my son, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and was proved horribly wrong. I wouldn't recommend anyone get involved in a relationship with him at all." 

"Yeah," Blaine says meekly. "I'll move on. I have moved on," he says, sounding stronger and brighter, even though he knows it's a horrible lie. "I'll meet someone else I'm sure."

"Good for you. In the meantime, let Kurt know that you're moving away. It'll sound better coming from you."

"Would it be really lame of me to do it via text?"

"No, but I think you'd be mad at yourself for not making that call," Burt says, getting back to work. He doesn't turn around, but he hears the house door open and close, and guesses Blaine has gone to make his call.

Blaine isn't surprised to get Kurt's voicemail, but something still flares inside of him at the sound of his voice after so long, and he panics, not knowing what in the world to say after he hears the tone. 

"Kurt? Uh...Kurt. Yes. Hi. It's me. Blaine. Blaine. It's Blaine. Yeah. How are you? Oh, right, you won't answer cause this is the message thingy so...yeah. Um... I'm just calling to tell you that I'm um... Moving." He pauses, puffing air out of his cheeks before continuing. "Moving away. To Baltimore to be exact. Spencer got relocated so...so I don't really have a choice. We leave the day after school gets out, so a month, give or take. Anyway, that was it really. Your dad said he wanted me to come here for holidays and stuff so...so we might meet again, but we might not so….so goodbye, Kurt." 

He holds the phone in his hand after he hangs up, staring at it for a while, before dialling right back and waiting impatiently for that all important beep. 

"Actually, that's not it. Come clean to your dad, Kurt. Tell him the reality of your situation. You're better than a liar. You're above all that, and god knows your dad is the most understanding person I know. He'd help you, I know he would. While you're at it, apply for jobs with other magazines, Kurt. I know you don't like taking chances or stepping into the unknown, but I read your column every week, and it's damn good, seriously. If Vogue doesn't want you then find somewhere that does, because you're worth so much more, and I think you'd find that the leap would pay off.   
One other thing. Your dad. You are the luckiest guy in the entire world to have Burt as a father. Love him, cherish him, and look after him for me, cause I won't be here to do it. Often he says he's okay when he's really not, and right now, you're hurting him beyond belief. Please, Kurt, treasure him." 

*

Six hundred miles away, Kurt lets his phone drop onto the floor, as he stares up at the ceiling, blinking back tears. It's for the best, he supposes. Knowing that Blaine was waiting back in Ohio has been driving him crazy for the last three months, making him wake up in the night, desperate to book a last minute flight and pack all his stuff up to return home for good but he's resisted, and now the option won't be there anyway. 

He resolves to fly home the weekend after Blaine has moved. He can't bring himself to call or email him, because he knows he will break, but he can at least follow through on Blaine's request to look out for his dad, and he hopes Burt will let that filter through when he talks with Blaine. 

So a week passes, and then another, and then suddenly it's only nine days before Blaine has to move. The despair and misery is real, and he's had enough of being told to make the most of his last few days in Ohio. He's supposed to be having dinner with Burt tonight, but he can see that his truck isn't home, so he heads over to his own house to pack up some more of his stuff. Trudging wearily up the stairs, he pulls up short when he comes face to face with Max and Simon leaving his room. 

"What are you doing?"

"Dad asked us to pack your stuff," Max lies easily. 

"No he didn't. Why would he?" 

"He did," Simon insists. "So we helped you out." 

"Mom!" Blaine yells loudly. "Mom! I need you!" 

"Mom, I need you," Max mimics in a baby voice. "We didn't do anything, Blainey, we just packed your stuff." 

"What is it now, Blaine?" His mom asks, as she walks up the stairs. "I swear this house is so peaceful, and then you arrive home and all hell breaks loose." 

"They packed my stuff," he says angrily, pointing at the pair. "They've been in my room and through all my things." 

"Well it needs to be packed, Blaine. Does it really matter if they've helped you out? I'd be grateful," she adds with a laugh. 

"They will have sabotaged it all." 

"Blaine? Sweetie? Have you even checked?" 

"Yeah, sweetie," Simon says with a smile. "You should check." 

"You boys," Angie laughs. "Such jokers." 

Blaine pushes past them into his room, where four boxes stand on the floor. His bookshelves are emptied, along with his desk, and the top of his dresser is now cleared. Peering into the boxes, he can see his books neatly stacked, his CD's all in a pile, and his photo frames wrapped carefully. Straightening up, he scuffs the floor with his toe, unable to look anyone in the eye. 

"Uh...I guess it is all okay. Um...yeah." 

"Say sorry, Blaine," his mom reprimands, as if he were three. "You've upset your brothers and that's not nice." 

"Sorry." 

"I couldn't hear him," Max whines. "He needs to say it louder." 

"I'm sorry," Blaine repeats. "Happy now?" 

"Oh, I will be," Max grins, as he backs out of the room, and his mom casts one more disappointed glance his way, before closing the door behind her. 

Left alone, Blaine feels oddly deflated and sits on his bedroom floor, wondering what in the world Max and Simon's motives could have been for packing his belongings. He had been hopeful Simon would be moving away for college, but no, he was staying at home and finding a job until he decided what he wanted to do, apparently, which to Blaine said that he was just going to torture him for as long as possible, so he had another year with all three of them to contend with, and he really didn't think he could manage it. Sighing, he reaches into one of the boxes for a photo frame, the one which contains a picture of him and his dad when Blaine was four. He loves that one, because he can still feel his dad holding him tightly, the way he was in the photo, as if it were yesterday. 

The frame falls into his lap face first, so he picks it up and turns it over, then stops dead. His dad's face has been very deliberately cut from the photo, before it was put neatly back in its frame. His blood running cold, Blaine quickly unwraps all his other frames, but they're all the same, his dad missing from every one.

Downstairs, Angie sits up sharply at the roar of anger coming from Blaine, as he tears down the stairs and out into the yard. She arrives outside just in time to see her quiet, meek and mild son landing the most almighty punch to Max's jaw, followed by a swift kick to Simon's stomach as he tries to intervene. 

"Blaine!" she screams loudly, not knowing what to do. "Blaine stop it, you'll kill them!" 

"Good!" Blaine yells, continuing to land blows to Max anywhere he can reach, while the boy cowers on the lawn. "I want them to fucking die!" 

Angie runs around to the front of the house, just in time to spot Burt Hummel pulling into his driveway. "Mr. Hummel!" she cries desperately. "Blaine's punching the life out of the boys! Please help!" 

Burt charges across the road and into the yard, grabbing Blaine easily around the waist, and lifting him clean of the ground. "Easy there, buddy. Easy, easy. Come on. I'm here, I'm here." 

Angie is shocked at the sudden turn around, as Blaine stops and seems to clear his head, letting Burt hold him and soothe him, while he gets his breath back. "It's okay, it's okay," Burt is whispering, while Max sits up with Simon's assistance, swiping at his bloody nose and spitting blood into the grass. 

"You're a fucking psycho, man, I swear," he snarls, and Blaine whirls around to confront him.

"You cut my dad from all my pictures! What did you expect? That I'd sit there and calmly take it? All the memories I have, you've destroyed them all." 

"What? Blaine, what are you talking about?" Angie asks, and pulling away from Burt, he charges inside and returns moments later, shoving several photo frames in her hands. 

"All of them," he says, as she looks through the photos. "Every single one." 

His voice trembles, but he doesn't cry, determined not to let them see his pain and give them another excuse to taunt him. 

"Boys, this is not okay," Angie says softly, shaking her head. "I know you're practical jokers, and you like to have fun, but this is just cruel." 

"Sick, is what it is," Burt grumbles, but he doesn't intervene further, just keeps his arm protectively around Blaine's shoulders. 

"I'm really disappointed in you," she sighs. "Blaine, honey, I have other photos you can have. I even have a copy of this one," she says, holding his favorite picture. "I'll get them for you later. Right now, I suggest we all take a bit of time out. Blaine, you're going with Mr. Hummel anyway, I assume?" 

"That's it?" Blaine cries.

"What do you want me to do?"

"At least make them apologize!" Blaine cries, "Like I had to with them!"

"Blaine, you've just assaulted them, I think that's punishment enough. They know they've upset you, and I'm sure they're sorry, aren't you boys?" 

"Yeah yeah," a still winded Simon mutters, as he and Max head inside. 

"There you go." 

"I just...you..." Blaine trails off, shaking his head in disbelief. 

"Come on kid," Burt says quietly. "Let's go." 

*

Dinner is a quiet and altogether miserable affair, and Blaine acts like the surly teenager Burt never thought he’d see, giving short one word answers to everything and refusing to make any eye contact. 

He wanders off to the living room as soon as he’s finished eating, and while Burt likes that he now treats the place like his own home, he doesn't like the way Blaine refuses to speak, so he follows after, shutting the TV off and sitting down on the couch next to him. 

“Come on. Talk.”

“I just,” Blaine pauses, rubbing a hand over his face. “I try to look at the positives, you know? Like, however much they get to me, I try really hard to rise above it. The trouble is, when I look at how it all is right now, I realize nothing has changed. A year ago I was sitting in my room in Cleveland, dreading moving here to live with those guys, but for a while I really dared to hope things had improved. I made friends, found you...Kurt.....if I think back to how I felt at New Years, like anything at all was possible….now I just feel like....like it's all gone away, and I’m back to square one, sitting here feeling fearful about moving somewhere new and spending another year in that family. I hate that I feel that way too, like I’m just moping around, wallowing in self pity.” 

"Hmm well, I think it's okay to wallow sometimes," Burt tells him, ruffling his hair. "It's okay to admit you feel upset, and that things are crappy. It's not all rainbows and glitter, but it's what you choose to do now that counts. Let's look at the positives here. You have really good friends, Blaine. Mike, Sam, Tina, they're not going to stop being your friends just because you're moving away. We met," he says, with a friendly nudge. "You found a new hobby, and you've decided on your career path. Hell, you even got to experience your first love. It might have also brought your first heartbreak with it, but you know a lot more than you did a year ago, when you thought driving to gay bars to look for guys was a good idea." 

"Kurt didn't break my heart," Blaine answers. "He bashed it up a little, but I kinda knew it was coming. I don't regret the short lived affair....but I do regret that it was short lived," he adds, with a soft smile.

"Well.....you're better off out of it," Burt says stiffly. "Anyway. Going forward, you have a lot of good things to hold onto, huh?" 

"I guess," Blaine nods. "I just... I don't want to leave you," he admits, without looking up. "Out of everything; school, science club, glee, my friends, Bessie....even Kurt, not seeing you every day makes me sadder than anything." 

"Oh buddy," Burt sighs, pulling him into a hug. "Me too." 

*

Burt watches from his living room window as Blaine leaves for school, his car making a few unhealthy sounding bangs as he takes off down the street, followed ten minutes later by the three Lane boys, and then he runs across the street and knocks on the door. 

"Oh, hello Mrs. Lane," he says politely, when she answers the door. "Can I come in?" 

"I guess," she says, warily opening the door wider for him to step inside. "What did Blaine do now?" 

"Nothing," he reassures, wondering why she always assumes the worst when it comes to her own son. "Is Mr. Lane home? I want to discuss something with you both, if possible." 

"Sure," she nods, then leaves him in the living room while she hurries upstairs. She's back in a few moments, with a very unimpressed Spencer. 

"I was in bed." 

"Sorry," Burt says politely. "It's just, I need to talk with both of you about this."

"Shoot then," Spencer says impatiently. "I ain't got all day. What's Blaine done? Tried to hit on your son again?" 

"Uh...no," Burt says tightly. "Kurt and Blaine are finished with all that." 

"Can't say I blame your son. Blaine's too needy." 

"Oh, they're still on good terms," Burt lies. "Just one of those young love things, y'know. Anyway." 

"Get on with it." 

"Sure. Well, put simply, I would like Blaine to come and live with me, instead of moving to Baltimore." 

"What?" Angie says quickly. "You can't just..."

"Hear him out," Spencer says, holding up his hand to silence her, and Burt leans forward slightly in his chair.

"Okay, well, Blaine has enjoyed his time here. He's doing exceptionally well in school, he has great friends, and is involved in two clubs that make him really happy. He's also working on the car with me, which should be completed by the end of the year. I just think it would make more sense for him to finish out his senior year here, where he's happy and comfortable plus….it might make things easier on your sons," he tries, hating the way he's making Blaine out to be an aggressor, but he knows it’s necessary. "Less conflict for them to deal with and all that." 

"That's true," Spencer says, and Angie inclines her head, giving a small nod. "I don't get why you'd help us out like that though," he continues. "What do you get out of it? You expect me to pay if Blaine lives with you? Cause that ain't gonna happen." 

"No sir," Burt says quickly. "I figure Blaine could work at the garage with me, like he does now, but in exchange for food and board, instead of money," he lies, knowing full well he'll still pay Blaine his wage. "I like Blaine, he's a good kid. You've raised him well, Mrs. Lane," he lies again. "He fits in well with our family and he's no bother. Plus I know he wants to study mechanical engineering in college, and I figure it'd look good on his application to say he's been working in a garage, and has rebuilt a Buick from scratch." 

"He wants to study mechanical engineering?" Angie asks in surprise. "I thought he liked science."

"Oh, you need science," Burt chuckles. "Mechanical engineering is exactly what it sounds like, studying the mechanics of engines. You need a solid and sound understanding of physics and..."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Spencer says with an eye roll. "His old man left enough to see him through college. If you wanna take him on, far be it from me to stop you, though I have to say it seems weird that an old guy would want a young boy living with him." 

"What does Blaine think of all this?" Angie asks. "I have to tell you, Mr. Hummel, that I'm really sad about how my relationship with Blaine has deteriorated since I married Spencer." 

Surprised, Burt nods, listening intently. He had no idea she could feel any remorse and suddenly, him asking for Blaine to live with him seems rather callous. 

"I mean," Angie carries on, "All he ever used to ask for was a brother or sister. I give him three of them, and he's never been more ungrateful for anything. This being gay thing must surely be a phase, along with the reluctance to join in with the other boys. He can see how it hurts me, and yet he continues to rebel, wetting the bed, screaming and shouting whenever one of the others plays a prank on him...and the way he speaks to Spencer.....but then I guess he's decided you're his dad instead." 

"Not at all," Burt says through gritted teeth, and suddenly his request doesn't seem callous anymore. "Blaine often talks about Carl, and while I'm sure I would have liked him, we sound incredibly different to one another. Same moral stance, maybe, and the same attitude toward a lot of stuff, but different all the same. Blaine isn't asking me to be his dad, and I'm not looking for another son. We just click, and he likes being at my house, because he feels safe. I'm sorry, Mrs. Lane, but those incidents that you deem to be pranks, are in fact cruel jabs at Blaine which leave him emotionally scarred." 

"He needs to man up then," Spencer declares. 

"He is a man," Burt snarls. He can feel his temper wearing thin, and takes off his cap to run a hand over his head. "And being gay is not just a phase. Anyway. His sexuality is irrelevant. I just want to know if I can invite him to move in with me." 

"It's up to you, Angie," Spencer shrugs. "I mean, I know I'd be happier if Blaine lived somewhere else, and the boys certainly would, so..."

"Yeah, ask him," Angie agrees with a nod, and it's all Burt can do not to punch the air with joy. "But I'm telling you, if I decide I want him to visit, I won't expect any issues." 

"Of course not," Burt says with a hurried nod. "He can visit you whenever you want him to." 

"Maybe for Christmas," she muses. "But not before. We need time to settle in." 

"It's May."

"Precisely." 

Burt takes a deep breath, chanting a silent mantra of 'let it slide, let it slide' over and over. "Okay," he says brightly, getting to his feet. "I'll um...I'll ask Blaine when he gets home from school, and let you know the outcome.”

"He'd better say yes," Spencer mutters, as he shows Burt to the door. "Cause I've never been freakin happier to say goodbye to anyone before." 

"Thanks for your time," Burt says politely, and rather than the punch he'd like to give, he settles for shaking his hand instead, then running excitedly across the road where he is frantically busy for the entire day. 

He feels like a small boy as he waits on the porch for Blaine’s car to round the corner, and when it does he knows he lets out a squeak, but he is really past caring, launching himself into the road to flag him down. 

“Yeah?”

“Park the car,” he calls to Blaine. “Come inside.”

Such is his trust in Burt that Blaine does as he’s told immediately and Burt pulls his door open, tugging him from the car and into the house. “Okay. Uh...”

“Burt? Are you okay?” Blaine asks with a laugh. “You’re kind of all bouncy. And why aren’t you at work, anyway?”

“I didn’t go today. I had other stuff to do. I have something to show you. I went to Crate and Barrel today.”

“Oh,” Blaine says, trying to feign interest. 

“Yeah. Got some stuff to renovate the basement. Turn it into a proper bedroom, y’know?”

“Sounds great,” Blaine says, feeling sad. It might have only been a pull out couch, but he’d always thought of that room as his. 

“Yeah. Come see.” 

Burt leads Blaine down the stairs, biting his lip to keep the grin from his face. The massive room is partially transformed, with a large bed, a couch, desk, closet, and dresser all in pale blue. “Gonna paint the walls white,” Burt says, as Blaine admires the room. “And build a partition here, so the laundry area is separate. Make it more like a proper room, y’know? I have more furniture too. Night stands, and another smaller dresser.”

“Nice,” Blaine says with a nod. “Funny, if I could choose my decor, it’d be pale blue. And white for the walls is a good idea down here, it’ll make the room so much lighter. I’d offset it with some darker accents, though. Maybe darker furnishings and covers for the bed.”

“You mean that? About the decor?” Burt asks excitedly. “You’d honestly choose pale blue?”

“Yeah. It looks good, don’t you think?”

“I like it, yeah,” Burt agrees, then turns to Blaine. “Would you like it to be your room?”

“Yeah, I’d...hold up. Did you do this for Kurt? Is this to entice him into visiting?”

“I did it for you.”

“To entice me into visiting?” Blaine laughs. “You don’t need to convince me.”

“No,” Burt says slowly. “I was wondering if you’d like to move in here, instead of moving to Baltimore.”

The double take from Blaine is hilarious, and he clutches Burt’s arm hard. “What? You serious?”

“Yeah. I’ve cleared it with your mom and the moron, so if you want to, you can live here. You don’t have to move.”

“I don’t...really?”

“Yeah, really,” Burt chuckles. “Now just gimme an answer, I’m dying here!”

“You bought all this stuff for me?”

“Well, I figured you’d like your own space, y’know. It’s not that I’d want you out the way or anything.”

“This room would be all mine? All of it?”

“Yeah.”

“You really did all this just for me?”

“Answer me, Blaine! You’re killing me here!”

“YES!” Blaine cries loudly, and throws himself into Burt’s arms. “Yes! Oh my god, yes! Thank you so much! I can’t...ugh! Just thank you!”

Burt just hugs him harder, not even caring that he’s crying with happiness, because he knows without looking that Blaine is too. 

“Can I move in, now? Right now?”

“The weekend they move,” Burt laughs. “I need to finalise some stuff with your mom, plus I need to make sure I get all the stuff I’ll need, insurance details, birth certificate and so on.”

“Was she okay? My mom?”

“She was hesitant, more so than Spencer, anyway, but she agrees it will be best for you. It will be, won’t it?”

“It absolutely will be,” Blaine grins, relief flooding through him. “I promise you, I’m gonna make you so proud.”

“You already do, kid,” Burt smiles, ruffling his hair. “You already do.”


	22. Chapter 22

"So I guess this is it," Angie Lane says, as she looks up at the moving truck. "I'm sorry it worked out this way, Blaine, really." 

"Yeah," he says sadly. "Me too. I might not say it enough, but I do love you, mom." 

"I love you, too," she says, choking on a sob. "I just wish you'd tried harder, Blaine. They could have loved you as well, if only you'd let them in." 

"No," Blaine shakes his head, swiping at the tears on his cheeks. "Spencer had it in for me from the start. Anyway, it doesn't matter now, does it? It's better this way, for all of us. I can come visit, or maybe you could even come visit me, on your own? We could go to Cleveland, see some old friends, maybe." 

"You can't spend your life looking back, sweetheart," Angie says, and it's the gentle touch of her palm to Blaine's cheek that breaks him, and causes him to cry hard. "Be a good boy for Mr. Hummel, okay? And try and find a girlfriend, maybe. I think that would help you a lot." 

Blaine doesn't say anything, just nods meekly, and accepts her kiss to his cheek, before she gets in the car and Spencer drives them away. Neither he, nor any of his sons, had bothered saying goodbye to Blaine, or Burt, who steps forward and rubs a hand over Blaine's back. 

"You haven't lost her," he tells him gently. "She's a little misplaced right now, but she loves you, Blaine. Hold onto that." 

"Sometimes, I feel like a little kid again, y'know?" he asks, as he stares down the now empty road. "Like I really wanted to call her mommy again, and curl up in her lap. She was such a good mom," he sighs, swiping at his eyes again. "Such a good...." 

"Come on. Come home." 

He turns and looks at Burt, smiling through his tears. "I really can call it that now, can't I?" 

"You certainly can." 

*

Living with Burt is easy. They already had a well practiced morning routine, the only difference now was that Blaine arrived in the kitchen via the basement stairs, rather than the front door. After school he either goes to work and then they arrive home together, or home alone to study, and play music as loud as he wants without fear of anyone attacking him. 

"Dinner tomorrow," Burt announces, the second Wednesday Blaine is there. "Invite your friends. The three of 'em. We need to throw you a housewarming." 

It's not elaborate, just pizza and one beer apiece, but Blaine is happier than he has been since....well, since New Year's Eve, he realizes with a pang as he thinks of Kurt. Funny, he can live in this house, where the walls are adorned with pictures of him at various points in his life, and where the photo of the two of them in their matching coveralls hangs, and seeing Kurt's face doesn't bother him at all. He could genuinely believe he was over him, if it weren't for the countless number of times he finds himself recalling the touch of his lips, or the curve of his smile, or the endless dreams in which Kurt seems to be featured. 

"Blaine!" 

"Huh?" 

"I said let's teach them gin rummy," Burt laughs. "Yes?" 

"Sure," Blaine smiles, grabbing the cards. "But I'm good, you guys. Be warned." 

*

The next night is Friday, and after dinner Burt and Blaine sit at the table again playing canasta, which Blaine is decidedly bad at. "I don't like cards anymore," he pouts, and Burt laughs, leaning back in his chair to study his hand. 

"Yeah, whatever. Just because Sam turned out to be gifted in the art of rummy, and I always whoop your ass at this. Quit sulking. Go get me a beer from the fridge." 

"For me too?" 

"If you want, but one," he warns, pointing at Blaine. "Last night and tonight are the exceptions. I don't mind the occasional drink, but I've got no time for you getting drunk, you hear me?" 

"Yes. Of course, I would never..." 

"Nah, I know," Burt laughs. "There's only two left anyway. Go get 'em." 

Blaine does as he's told, and slides back into his chair ready for his next turn, when the front door opens and Kurt walks in, carrying a small bag which he drops in surprise. "What the hell?" 

"Excuse me?" Burt says, getting up from his chair. "I might ask you the same. I haven't spoken to you in a month. Some warning of your arrival might have been nice." 

Blaine stays quiet, staring at the floor. He can feel Kurt's eyes on him, boring into the top of his head, but he doesn't look up, studying the pattern of the carpet instead. 

"He's supposed to be in Baltimore." 

"He has a name," Burt reminds Kurt. "Now do I get a hug, or what?" 

"Why is he here?" Kurt asks, hugging his dad briefly. 

"Blaine lives here now. We decided that was a better option." 

"Excuse me? Are you shitting me?" 

"Language," Burt admonishes, sitting down once more. "No joke. Blaine moved in two weeks ago. We're playing canasta, but if you want to join us we can change to Texas hold 'em." 

"He's living with you, and you didn't tell me?" Kurt yells. "You just move someone else into our family, and don't think to let me know? And it would have to be him, wouldn't it? Figures!" 

"I didn't tell you, because the last time we talked you asked me not to tell you anything else regarding Blaine. You don't live in this house on a permanent basis, Kurt. If you did, then of course I would have consulted you but as it was, I didn't think it was necessary. I tried to get ahold of you several times in the week between him saying yes and moving in, but as usual you ignored my calls, and I'm not one for texting as you know. I tried you three times this last week too, but got no reply and now you're here shouting your mouth off about my decision to ask Blaine to live with me. I'm sorry, Kurt, but I really don't see how it's any of your business." 

"I don't want him here!" Kurt screams, and Blaine finds himself wishing he were anywhere else in the entire world right now, including Baltimore. "Get him out! I'm your son, not him, and I came to visit you because he left me a dumb message, telling me to look out for you. So he can go! I don't care where he goes, but he goes, right now." 

"No," Burt says, still not raising his voice. Pushing back his chair, he spins Kurt around, and marches him to the door. "You go." He forces Kurt out onto the porch, and closes the door in his face, locking it behind him. 

"That's dumb!" Kurt calls through the wood. "I have a key." 

"Which will be revoked, if you come back in this house without apologizing to Blaine. You can stay out there, go hit up some seedy bar, or fly right back to New York for all I care, but Blaine lives in this house and is a part of this family now, whether you like it or not." 

He's only met by silence, so Burt picks up his cards once more. "Where were we?" 

"I don't wanna play now," Blaine whispers sadly. "I'm just gonna go to bed." 

"Oh no, Blaine, don't do this," Burt pleads, setting his cards down again. "I'm sorry for the way he was, but try to ignore him. That's the Kurt I always lived with before you came along." 

"Then I'm sorry for you," Blaine says quietly. "Because he's horrible." 

"I'm just always hopeful he'll come around. He did last time, with you, so I'm hoping it will happen again." 

"Given that reaction, I don't think it will. What are you going to do now? You've just kicked him out."

Burt shrugs, and finishes off his beer, while he thinks. "Well, he'll have gone to a bar, no doubt, and he'll return at some point, so I guess I'll deal with him in the morning. Now, we gonna finish this game or what?"

"I'm sorry," Blaine says, swallowing over the lump in his throat. "I didn't mean to cause all this." 

"You didn't," Burt says firmly. "I did."

"But..."

"Blaine." Burt sighs, and sets his cards down again in exasperation. "I asked you to move in. You never once asked if you could stay here, I invited you. It was my decision, and it's my house. Kurt has to respect that. Now, for the love of all things holy, can we just finish the game?" 

Blaine picks up his cards, and play continues, but his heart's not in it and he goes to bed feeling deeply troubled and, for the first time since his family left, scared to go to sleep. His fears prove well founded, when a huge crash wakes him just after three in the morning and he sits upright, scrambling to switch the lamp on.

A very drunk and disoriented Kurt stands at the bottom of the stairs, clutching the rail for support. He squints into the dim light, taking in the changes in the basement, and not even looking in Blaine's direction. 

"He made it into a bedroom for you. How cute." 

"Please leave," Blaine says, in what he hopes is a strong voice. "I'm not comfortable with you being in my room." 

"You were comfortable enough in my bed," Kurt points out. He leaves his spot by the wall, and weaves unsteadily around the room, trying to focus on the photos on Blaine's walls. "Oh Kurt, Kurt! Yes! Take me, oh Kurt!" 

"Get out," Blaine snarls, pulling the covers around him.

"Those are the noises you make, Blaine, when you're underneath me, when I suck your dick. I know what you sound like as you come. I know what you taste like." 

"Because I was a blind idiot who trusted you when I shouldn't have," Blaine snaps, his heart aching. "I'm asking you to leave my room, and if you don't, I'm gonna make you leave." 

"Why are you so beautiful?" Kurt asks suddenly, finally fixing his gaze on Blaine’s face. "It hurts me to look at you, you know that? I can't even look at your face without wanting to kiss you."

"You jerk. You walk in this house and insult me, upset your dad, disappear to god knows where, then come back totally wasted, taunting me and generally making me feel like crap, then suddenly you want to kiss me? What do you think, Kurt? That you can treat me how the hell you want, and I'll come running back? I haven't heard from you in four months. I left a message telling you I was moving away, and you didn't even bother to call and wish me well. You know what? I'm glad you've shown your true colors, because I was so damn close to falling in love with you. I'm glad I didn't waste my time. I'll go and find someone who deserves my love instead." 

"Can I sleep in here? Tired." 

"No you cannot." 

"I don't feel too good." 

"Yeah, well you're not throwing up in my bathroom either, now go."

"Fuck you." 

"Kurt, you're making me really angry." 

"I wanna fuck you." 

"Out!" Blaine yells, pointing to the stairs, and Kurt wobbles backward in surprise, clutching the dresser for support. 

"Fine, I'm going." Holding his hands up in defeat, he tries to walk backwards, but trips, banging his head on the corner of the railing instead. "Ouch." 

Blaine sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "Are you okay?" 

"Fuck off, Blaine," Kurt drawls, clutching his hand over his head. "Like you care." 

"Oh, whatever. Goodnight, Kurt." And without any further ado, Blaine turns the light out and slides back under the covers, plunging the whole room into blackness.

*

"Mornin' sleepy head," Burt laughs when Blaine stumbles into the kitchen, blearily rubbing his eyes. "You're late. For you, anyway." 

"Yeah, well." Blaine doesn't say anything else, just reaches for the coffee and sits in silence while Burt reads the newspaper. Kurt appears, looking pale, and he bypasses the coffee in favor of water, which he uses to gulp down Advil before sitting at the table and holding his head in his hands. 

"Good night?" Burt asks, without looking out from behind the paper. 

"No. Awful." 

"Got anything to say?"

"No." 

"Off you go then." 

"I'm not going anywhere," Kurt snaps. "I've made amends with Blaine." 

"When?" 

"Last night." 

"You did not!" Blaine cries indignantly. "You came crashing into my room at three am, insulted me, and then fell over and hit your head. That is not making amends." 

"Kurt! You didn't!"

"No, I didn't. Well, I did, but it wasn't as bad as he's making out." 

"Blaine, I'll put a lock on your door," Burt tells him, fixing Kurt with a glare. "And you, sort yourself out. You're a mess." 

"Whatever. I need to go get my car," Kurt mutters, wincing as he stands. 

"I'll drive you," Blaine offers, without giving himself time to overthink it. "Where is it?" 

"Scandals." 

Blaine pulls up short, nodding curtly. "Fine. I'm ready when you are." 

"I'm not happy about this," Burt grumbles to himself, as Blaine goes to wait in the hall.

"I'll be okay," Blaine says, stopping in the doorway. "Really." 

"Don't go there, Blaine," Burt warns. "He likes to charm you, but don't let him. Rise above it." 

"Sure." Blaine leaves, not having the heart to tell Burt, that actually, Kurt seems more set on antagonising him. He sits in the car and waits, silently berating himself for being unable to stay away. As soon as he saw the opportunity to be alone with Kurt, he jumped at the chance, like a wounded puppy that keeps going back for more. 

Kurt stomps out to the car without a word, wearing dark glasses over his eyes. Even hungover he looks hot, Blaine thinks to himself, then reminds himself that Kurt is being a jerk, and he's not at all interested. 

"Your car is shit," Kurt growls, after Blaine's third attempt to start the engine. 

"Yes, thank you, now shut up and accept the ride," he says as it sputters to life and they drive away.

"I hate it." 

"You liked it well enough when I sucked you off on the back seat, now please, shut up." 

Kurt does, surprised at Blaine's sassy retort. He guesses his confidence has been boosted by the removal of the Lane brothers and their endless taunting, but even so, he's amazed Blaine has the guts to raise the incident that happened a year ago. 

Being this close to Blaine is torture for Kurt. He wants to tell him to stop the car, so he can kiss him over and over and beg for his forgiveness for the way he's been acting, but then he thinks back to how he is with Blaine, the soft centered guy with a heart of gold, who lets other people live with him because he feels sorry for them, and then gets rewarded by having said person try to force themselves on him in the middle of the night, with Santana in the bed. 

That had been an eye opener for sure, not least because he discovered Santana is capable of nearly mortally wounding a guy who comes anywhere near her with his dick out. Not that it had been her he was after, but it made no difference to Santana anyway. She didn't like being woken to a drunken Jeremy half on top of Kurt, and he didn't appreciate it himself either. 

Even so, he felt cruel kicking him out in the middle of the night in the pouring rain, but Santana had no such qualms. He had then spent a fortune replacing Santana's mattress and all her towels, after she claimed she felt too grossed out to touch any of them again. 

Jeremy hadn't gone away, though. He found an apartment, which ironically was bigger and nicer than Santana and Kurt's tiny places put together, and started trying to woo Kurt back properly. He'd been up for it at first too, eagerly accepting the flowers, cookies, and romantic dinners, knowing full well that Jeremy wouldn't expect anything in return for now, assuming Kurt was still mad at him. What Jeremy didn't know though, was that Kurt had no intention of returning to his bed in any capacity, and that every date he took Kurt on was silently compared to time spent with Blaine. Even so, Kurt thinks as he watches Blaine driving, the fact that he's prepared to string Jeremy along like this, and willingly wants to hurt Blaine for making him feel so much, doesn't that say more about him than it does about them?

"I'm back with Jeremy," he says, watching carefully for Blaine's reaction, but there is none, not even a flicker. 

"That's nice. I know you liked him a lot." 

"He left his wife for me," Kurt says proudly, hoping that one will hurt. 

"Right." 

"So we go out on dates all the time now." 

"Uh-huh." 

"Yeah," Kurt carries on, becoming more and more irate on the inside. "It's nice to be looked after by a real man, y'know? He's so mature." 

"Which is more than can be said for some people," Blaine mumbles, as he pulls into the parking lot. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Nothing at all," Blaine says with a sweet smile. "There ya go. One car." 

"Thanks," Kurt mutters, as they stop next to his rental car. "So you haven't found anyone? Shredded that V card?" 

"Nope." 

"Still trying to get over me?" 

"No," Blaine says lightly. "Concentrating on school. Glee club did really well this year, we made it to regionals. I got good grades. I just want to spend this time concentrating on my school work, so I can get into a good college." 

"You're a nerd."

"No Kurt, I'm just not desperate." 

"You'll be alone forever." 

"Oh, I'm sure I'll meet someone," Blaine smiles, as he reaches across Kurt and opens the door for him. "I'm still young." 

Kurt leaves the car, huffing frustratedly, and gets into his own, growling his displeasure at his failure to rile Blaine up. "Jerk," he snarls, though whether his insult is directed at Blaine or at himself, is hard to tell. 

Blaine keeps up the happy pretence all day around Burt. Kurt reappears briefly, and does manage to express genuine surprise and pleasure at how far they've gotten with Bessie, but then he disappears again to god knows where, though Blaine can smell beer on his breath when he returns. 

Burt is oblivious, and is just happy that Blaine seems comfortable around Kurt, and while not entirely mellow, Kurt seems to have reined his harsh behavior in somewhat. "Takeout, boys?" he asks, when they've finished on Bessie for the day. 

"I'll cook," Blaine offers. "Since we had takeout on Thursday with my friends." 

Kurt sits in the armchair watching TV, and doesn't even look at Blaine, but still manages a snide remark. "You have friends? Real ones?" 

"Yeah," Blaine answers, before Burt can intervene. "Real ones, who don't drop me after they've taken what they wanted. They came over for dinner. We had a good time, didn't we?" he asks Burt, who is grinning broadly and trying not to laugh out loud. 

"Yes we did, my boy. And if you're willing to cook, then far be it from me to stop you." 

"Cool. I'll just take a shower, then I'll get right on it." 

"Someone's still in love," Burt remarks, the second the door to the basement closes. 

"Tell me about it. He's insufferable."

"I was talking about you," Burt laughs, ruffling the back of Kurt's hair, which annoys him intensely. "Blaine seems entirely oblivious to me." 

"You are entirely oblivious, if you think I'm in love with him. It's the other way around, I can assure you." 

"No it's not," Burt says offhandedly, picking up the remote and channel hopping, just to annoy Kurt further. He doesn't tell Kurt what he really thinks, which is that they're both still head over heels for each other. It's a sad fact, but Burt doesn't want Blaine mixed up with anyone as callous as his son because he doesn't want his heart broken, but it's painstakingly obvious, even to him, that Kurt loves Blaine with all his heart, if only he'd learn to listen to it. "I told ya when I visited. He's doin okay. Even better, now that he lives with me."

"Ugh. He's not your son, you know." 

"I know that. He has a dad, and always will."

"You told me you love him like he was your own." 

"I do. Doesn't mean that I think he's mine though, does it? Just that I love him. I'm sure he loves me too, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't think I'm his old man. He has a bazillion and one photos of his dad anyway. His mom gave him all the albums when she left."

"All of them?" 

"Yeah. From her wedding photos on. I don't know....I guess it was a kind gesture, her way of making up for what happened with his other pictures, but Blaine was upset. She told him she had no use for them anymore, and of course, they're all Blaine's baby photos." 

"She must've kept some, surely?" 

"One or two, maybe, but you'd think a parent would want to treasure those moments, huh? I know I love all our photos. I mean, if you wanted some, I'd get copies, but I wouldn't give them away and tell you I had no use for them." 

"What do you mean, anyway? What happened with his pictures?" 

By the time Burt has finished explaining he can hear Blaine clattering back up the stairs, so he signals to Kurt to be quiet, and as Blaine busies himself in the kitchen Kurt sits in stunned silence, wondering how anyone could be so cruel. He could honestly cry for Blaine, if it weren't for the fact that he knows he's safe now, it's all over. "I'm glad he's got you," Kurt says quietly, covering his dad's hand with his own, and then retreats upstairs to be alone with his thoughts. 

He seems a bit brighter through dinner, and even manages to compliment Blaine on his cooking, who nods and blushes fiercely, while staring at his plate. After one round of cards, Blaine retires though, feigning a headache and a need for an early night. 

The truth is, he just can't handle being around Kurt for a moment longer. He knows that at some point he will snap and demand an explanation for the way he was treated, or worse, beg him to take him back, when he knows it's not him who should do the begging anyway. The range of emotions he is going through is so vast that he feels as if he's standing on the deck of a ship during a storm, veering this way and that, with the odd wave crashing over him for good measure. Looking at Kurt again, he has moments when he feels so sad for the way things ended up, but then happy when he thinks back to how they were during that time from Thanksgiving to New Year. He's also proud that he had given Kurt his first date, and that he'd enjoyed it so much. 

His mind inevitably wanders to the nights they spent together too, but he tries to block that out, not feeling brave enough to do anything about his desperation with two other people in the house. Then there's the anger he feels toward Kurt. Back when they had first properly met, Blaine had been astonished at the level of bitterness and anger from Kurt, but he had seen glimpses of what he thought was the real Kurt underneath. Now he wasn't so sure any of that still remained, and the way Kurt had been speaking to him on this visit made him angrier toward him than he had felt in a long time. 

He’s still awake when Kurt arrives and he's not surprised by the intrusion, having expected he would arrive to torment him at some point. 

"Go away." 

"No." 

"Fine," he huffs, rolling over in bed, and pulling the cover up to his neck. "Stay there while I sleep." 

"Dad says you have all your baby photos." 

Whatever Blaine had been expecting to hear, it certainly wasn't that, and he rolls over again, propping himself up on his elbows and peering into the darkness. "Yeah." 

"Can I see?" 

Blaine flips the lamp on so he can see Kurt properly, surprised to find him standing at the foot of his bed, looking stupidly handsome in his black pajamas, and fiddling nervously with his own hands. 

"Why on earth would you want to see pictures of me as a baby?" 

"I don't know." 

He does, of course. He wants to catch a glimpse into Blaine's childhood, to hear him talk about special memories, and to feel as if he knows him that much better, but there's no way he's telling any of that to Blaine. He is just about to leave when Blaine climbs from the bed and heads over to a big box that he hasn't unpacked, plucking two large photo albums from it before returning to the bed and signalling with his eyes that Kurt should sit next to him. 

"There." 

Kurt looks at the first photo. A very young Angie Lane cradles a tiny bundle with a shock of black hair. She looks tired, but her whole face glows with happiness, radiating an inner beauty that only holding such a precious baby could bring. 

"That's you?"

"An hour old," Blaine says, reading the caption underneath. "My boy, my Blaine," he says, in a voice which wavers with emotion. "That's my dad's writing." 

"You have more?"

"No, Kurt, the entire album is empty. What do you think?" Blaine asks, rolling his eyes. They flick through in silence, taking in pictures of Blaine as he grows up with two very obviously devoted and happy parents, learning to sit up, to crawl, and finally to walk. Every photo is neatly captioned with the date and Blaine's age, along with details of the occasion, and Kurt finds himself overwhelmed with the painstaking dedication Carl Anderson had given to creating this document of Blaine's early years. 

"My mom with me...I think I was two," Blaine says, then reads the caption underneath. "Yeah. My second birthday. Look at those overalls." 

"Cute," Kurt smiles, taken aback by the stunning beauty of Blaine as a toddler. Yes, he's in red overalls with yellow pockets, but his face is glorious. Big, round, amber eyes, framed by a mop of dark curls, his little rosebud mouth smiling as he holds his mom's hand. Suddenly Kurt has a very clear vision, and a pang of longing the like of which he has never known before in his entire life. He wants to hold a baby. Not just any baby, but his own son, and he wants it to look like Blaine. He wants the child to belong to both of them. 

"Holy shit." 

"What?" Blaine looks at the next photo, where he sits in his dad's lap as they assemble a train track together, and tries to work out what's wrong. He can't see anything amiss, so he looks to Kurt again, who is staring into space looking decidedly pale. "You okay? You look sick. Do you want some water?" 

"I think I need whiskey." 

"Um...yeah, actually, I do have some," Blaine says, laughing as Kurt does a double take. "I know. It was in my dad's liquor cabinet, and I took it before we moved. Not that he was a big drinker, but I didn't want Spencer getting his hands on it for some reason. Hold on." 

He rummages in the box once more, finding the bottle, which he takes into the bathroom, then returns with two plastic cups containing large amounts. Kurt gulps his quickly, while Blaine takes a small sip, and grimaces at the burning sensation. "Ugh. Gross. Feeling better?" 

"I'd feel better if I could finish yours as well." 

"No." 

"Fine," Kurt huffs, and returns to the photos. 

"What happened, anyway? You just suddenly went all weird." 

"My mind was playing tricks on me. Jesus, you were such a beautiful little boy." 

"Um...thank you?" Blaine answers, not really sure what else to say. 

"Dad was right," Kurt says softly, as he looks at another picture. It is of a seven year old Blaine, though he is barely visible as his mom cuddles him tightly, her head bowed as she kisses his neck. Blaine's eyes are screwed shut from laughing so hard, and in the next picture his dad has joined them, holding the camera up in an attempt to capture an early selfie. The picture is off center and slightly out of focus, but even so, it has captured a moment of true family happiness, and Kurt finds himself swallowing back tears. 

"Right about what?" 

Kurt looks up, right into Blaine's eyes, as they sit shoulder to shoulder. "She still loves you," Kurt whispers sadly. "Please don't give up on her." 

Blaine breaks the eye contact, looking down at the sheets, and clearing his throat. "I don't think she does. She did, but I don't think she does anymore." 

"Don't shut her out, Blaine." 

"I find it easier that way," he admits. "It's easier to close the door on people, and walk away. I give my heart to people and they walk all over it, so I've found it's better if I just shut them out." 

Looking up, he offers Kurt a sad smile, who is unable to resist reaching out, caressing his cheek softly. "Is that what you're doing with me?" he asks quietly. "Are you deliberately shutting me out?" 

Blaine swallows and blinks, determined not to close that gap. "Don't," he whispers, closing his eyes briefly. "Please don't." 

Kurt nods and lets his hand fall, breaking the moment between them, and Blaine reaches for his whiskey, downing the rest and choking hard. "I need to go to sleep," he says stiffly, closing the albums and taking them out of Kurt's hands. 

"Okay. Yeah, I'm tired too," Kurt says, stretching out on the bed. "Can I stay here?" 

"No, you cannot." 

"What? Why not?" 

"You know why not," Blaine snaps. "Now go."

"I thought we were getting along better?" 

"That's precisely my point," Blaine says, as he lies down on the furthest side from Kurt. "My resolve is only so strong, Kurt, and if you want me to be blunt, I'm horny as fuck." 

Kurt makes a noise, and Blaine isn't quite sure how to describe it, other than desperate sounding, and rolls closer to Blaine. "You're horny? Blaine. That's...oh Jesus. Let me touch you, please?" 

"No," Blaine says firmly, and he gets back out of bed and stands against the wall. He tries to cover himself, but it's too late, Kurt has seen the beginnings of his arousal and moves in, crowding him back into the corner of the room. 

"Just one night?" he tries. "No one needs to know." 

"I would know," Blaine tells him, and in a Herculean show of willpower, pushes Kurt away and moves to sit on the edge of the bed. "I won't do it, Kurt. I won't let you use me." 

"Okay," Kurt nods, respecting Blaine's wishes, even though he knows he could make him crack. "Okay. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable." 

"You didn't. It's fine. I'll just jerk off and think of you instead." 

Kurt laughs loudly, the tension between them forgotten as he aims a kick at Blaine's ankles. "Idiot," he says fondly, heading to the stairs. 

"Whatever. Don't pretend you're not going up there to do exactly the same." 

"No pretence," Kurt smiles, still laughing. "I'll see you in the morning."


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello you lovely lot! So, I'm adding another update day, meaning (based on my UK times) the days will be Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. 
> 
> The sequel will be arriving in January. 
> 
> Thank you all for being wonderful :)

"I'm going," Kurt announces, early the next morning. 

"Already?" Burt asks in surprise. "You usually leave at noon." 

"I'm leaving now." 

"Okay. Well...do you want breakfast before you go?" 

"I guess," Kurt shrugs, dropping his bag. "But then I'm leaving."

"Okay. Can you go get Blaine?" 

"What? Why? I'm not going in his room." 

"You didn't have a problem last night." 

"How do you...."

"Not much gets past me, Kurt. I hope you weren't inappropriate." 

"No I was not! We looked through his photos together, and then I came up to bed." 

"Huh. Well. Good," Burt huffs. "Now, go tell him it's breakfast time." 

Kurt trudges down the stairs, to find Blaine sleeping on his front, the duvet kicked to the floor, and the sheet barely covering what Kurt thinks might be his entirely naked body. Certainly from the way the sheet rests he can see the top of his ass cheeks, which makes him subconsciously lick his lips. 

"Uh....Blaine?" 

Blaine mumbles something incoherent, which amazes Kurt, since he usually shoots wide awake in instant fear, but he realizes it's just another way in which he's more relaxed now that he's living here. 

"Blaine. It's time for breakfast." 

More mumbling has Kurt moving closer, desperately trying to keep his eyes on the headboard, but he can't, and eventually rakes his gaze over the strong muscles in Blaine’s back instead. He's filling out, bulking up, Kurt notices, probably from all the boxing and the physical work at the garage, and boy does he look good.

"Blaine!" 

When Blaine shifts again, and the sheet falls down over one hip, Kurt groans and adjusts himself. Four months without any kind of sexual activity is a killer for him, and he feels dizzy with the speed at which his erection grows. "Fuck," he whispers, letting his knees dip onto the edge of the mattress as he palms himself roughly through his jeans. He had come hard last night at the thought of Blaine doing the same thing but now, seeing Blaine spread out like this, he's desperate all over again. 

It is to this image that Blaine wakes, slightly alarmed and yet oddly calm, his brain not really processing what's happening as he rolls over and tugs Kurt down on top of him.

"Oh god," Kurt whimpers at the feel of Blaine biting his neck. "Blaine, I didn't mean for you to wake up and see that, it's just you were...." 

"Shut up," Blaine growls, flipping them so he can grind against him. "Y'know I'm horny, I told you." 

"But you said you were gonna..." 

"I didn't. Did you?"

"Yeah." 

"That's hot," Blaine breathes, his tongue dancing over Kurt's skin. "You fucker. I can't get you out of my head. Ever." 

Kurt has no clue where this darker, more dominant side of Blaine has come from, but it is entirely welcome, as is the grinding, and then suddenly his lips on his, hot and demanding. 

He honestly feels like he could lie there and let Blaine do whatever the hell he wants, but he finds himself responding eagerly, his hands roaming over his back, and down to cup his ass roughly. 

Their kiss never breaks, not even when Blaine shifts his weight to one side, in order to fumble with the fly on Kurt's jeans, which he manages to unbutton, slipping his hand inside. "You feel so good," Blaine whispers, his lips still against Kurt's. "I want to taste you. Feel you come in my mouth." 

"Boys! Are you having breakfast, or what? I ain't standing up here cooking eggs for the fun of it! Those photos will still be there after you've eaten." 

"Oh for..." Blaine mutters, letting his head drop onto Kurt's shoulder. 

"No, no, don't stop," Kurt begs, not caring how pitiful he sounds. "We can be quick. You're about ready to explode..." 

Blaine lets his hand find its way to the front of Kurt's underwear again, as he kisses his lips, but softer this time. "This is so wrong." 

"But so right," Kurt finishes for him, before he opens his mouth wider and teases Blaine with his tongue. 

"I'll come down!" Burt yells again. "Kurt! You have ten seconds to get up these stairs, or you'll have some explaining to do. Ten! Nine!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming!" he cries exasperatedly. "Well....I'm not, but...ugh." He slides out from underneath Blaine reluctantly, fastening his jeans and digging his palm into his groin. 

"I have to finish," Blaine whispers desperately, and Kurt tries not to cry with longing when he sees how tented the bed sheet is. 

"Fine, I'll cover for you. As long as you promise to think of me," he adds with a wink. 

"Definitely," Blaine grins, then moves his hand under the sheet as Kurt bounds up the stairs. 

"What the hell were you two doing?" 

"Nothing," Kurt says nonchalantly. "Blaine was just talking about one of the photos we looked at last night, that's all." 

"Hmm. Okay. Well….where is he, anyway?" 

"Getting dressed. He won't be long." 

"You're both idiots." 

"What are you talking about?" 

Burt gestures up and down the length of Kurt's body, from the sticking up hair to the crumpled untucked shirt and half open fly. "I told you. Nothing gets past me." 

They eat in silence, and Kurt has a funny feeling that later on both he and Blaine will be pulled aside for one of Burt's 'chats', but he really couldn't care less. "I can't get you out of my head," Blaine had said. "Ever." He'd admitted to what Kurt feels every second of every day. Why the hell didn't Kurt stop him there and then, and tell him the exact same thing? Why didn't he tenderly cup his jaw, pulling him down into a long drawn out kiss, the type of which leaves every part of your body tingling with a longing for more?

The answer was simple, of course. They were two horny guys who needed release, and the sexual tension between the two of them was such that at some point, something had to give. Even so, he could talk to Blaine now, when he appears for breakfast....if he was brave enough. 

Blaine looks wrecked when he arrives in the kitchen. He is dressed, but for him it's exceedingly casual, just track shorts and a t-shirt, and even Burt raises an eyebrow. Kurt is elated. Clearly Blaine did finish the task in hand, so to speak, and now that the urgent desire is out of the way, maybe they can settle down and talk properly. 

"So, Blaine, I need to run to the store. You wanna come with?" 

Blaine looks up from his eggs in surprise. "Uh.... No. Thank you."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure." 

"We could get coffee on the way back, maybe?" Kurt tries, ignoring the obvious huffing from his dad in the corner. 

"No." 

"Oh." 

Burt can sense his son's defeat and knows when it's best to say nothing, so he folds his newspaper and slips from the room, making a big show of loudly walking up the stairs and closing his bedroom door. 

"Are you okay?" Kurt asks, the second he's gone. He reaches across the table for Blaine's hands, but he withdraws them both, and puts them in his lap, looking down. 

"No, I'm not. That should never.... I'm really sorry," Blaine says sadly, forcing himself to look Kurt in the eye. "I got upset with you last night for trying to start something with me, and then I went and did that, and it was so wrong. Really, I'm disgusted with myself." 

"Oh Blaine," Kurt says, moving to sit next to him. He rests an arm around the back of Blaine's chair, and though he stiffens, he doesn't pull away. "It's okay, really. You were asleep, and looking at your back kinda did things to me. I was trying to make myself more comfortable as I was pressing up against my fly, and….well anyway, it's okay. I'm good. I'm not insulted or offended. Sometimes, you just have to look at something and think, "well, you know what? It's what I needed at that time and place in my life." No strings sex can be fun, if you're horny and need a release." 

Kurt settles back in his chair, pleased with his reassurances, but Blaine frowns, shaking his head. "No, Kurt, it's not okay!" he cries, becoming upset. "No strings? That's all it was? You don't get it, do you? You have a boyfriend, for a start."

"Oh, don't worry about him."

"I do though! Do you have any idea how much that hurt? I've been telling myself to stay away, that I must be imagining this chemistry between us, because you're taken, right? I mean, what guy would do that with someone else if he had a boyfriend already?" 

"We didn't do anything, anyway," Kurt points out. "And as it is..."

"We were going to! And you're sitting there saying it was no strings, the means to an end."

"I'm not! I'm just saying sex doesn't always have to mean something..."

"Maybe not to you, but I was raised differently."

"Oh grow up, Blaine," Kurt snaps, standing up and storming toward the door. His anger now clouds his vision, and all thoughts of coming clean and admitting his lies, along with his true feelings, are now forgotten. "I was raised exactly the same, you jerk. I only meant to say that sometimes it's okay to give into what you want, and to take what's offered. I wanted you and you wanted me, and that's okay! You're seventeen years old. You should be jacking off at every available opportunity. Every sexual experience you have doesn't have to be deep and profound and hold meaning. Sometimes it really is okay to say 'you know what? I wanna suck this guy off, consequences be damned.' You had that one time, with me in your car and you're still guilt tripping yourself over it, and now this. I wanted it just as much as you did, we were both consenting, now get over it." 

"Well, that's where we're different," Blaine says sadly. "Cause for the very short time I could actually say I was in a relationship with you...those times meant everything. Each and every one. Yes, it was fun and it felt good, but it felt even better after, because I felt closer to you." 

"Really Blaine? Really?" 

"Yes, really," he says, with a choked off laugh. "I'm guessing you don't feel the same." 

He doesn't look up, and the silence seems to stretch forever. Kurt doesn't deny it, which hurts beyond belief, but he also doesn’t come right out and say that their times together were meaningless. He just picks up his bag and keys, and walks over to Blaine, kissing his cheek. "Tell dad I'll see him soon." 

*  
If Burt thinks it's unusual for Kurt to leave without saying goodbye he doesn't let on, just shrugs and tells Blaine it's time to start work on Bessie. His goal, he has decided, is simply to give Blaine a summer like he used to have, full of good memories and lots of fun. 

He increases his wage at the garage under the guise of giving him a promotion, although the extra work he does is simple in comparison to all he's learned working on Bessie. He encourages him to see his friends too, and makes sure Blaine knows they are welcome in his home whenever he chooses. He finally feels satisfied when Blaine asks if Mike can sleep over, as if Blaine really does now consider it his home. 

Blaine is relieved when Burt says yes. He's never had anyone sleep over before; back in Cleveland, there had only really been Zach to count as a friend, and he'd never felt close enough to invite him over. Although he's undoubtedly close with Sam, Mike is the one he can really talk to about anything, so he waits until Sam is back in Kentucky, and asks Mike, who accepts immediately, and is completely in awe of Blaine's bedroom. 

"I love it!" he exclaims, moving around the room. "It's huge for a start, but I love the decor too. I wish my parents would let me move into the basement." 

"Yeah, it's really awesome," Blaine smiles, sitting on the bed while Mike takes the couch. "Do you want to like....play video games, or something?" 

"We can," Mike shrugs. "Or you can talk to me about what's really bothering you, which is the real reason you invited me over." 

"I didn't...it's not like that was the only reason," Blaine says quickly. "I actually wanted to just spend time with you anyway, you know?" 

"I know that," Mike says evenly. "I also know that you hate playing video games, as do I, which is why we get along so well," he adds with a laugh. "So let's talk, and then when Burt gets home maybe we can talk him into playing cards with us."

"He won't need any convincing," Blaine laughs. "Okay. Here's the deal. Kurt came home a couple of weeks back." 

"Oh?" 

"Yeah, and he didn't know I had moved in. He came home because when I thought I was leaving, I left him a message asking him to look after Burt for me, so he had come back to check on him." 

"And found you."

"Exactly."

"I'll bet he was thrilled," Mike says sarcastically.

"Ecstatic." 

"Go on." 

"Well, he's shouting his mouth off about me moving in, so Burt told him to leave. He was really calm about it, but he basically shoved Kurt out on the porch and shut the door in his face. Kurt went to Scandals, came home at three, and showed up in my room."

"Oh my god Blaine! He didn't force anything, did he?" 

"No. He was really drunk, and he kinda whined a bit before I sent him on his way. He didn't apologize the next day either, he was just rude and generally awful, until I'd gone to bed and he came down here again." 

"I have a feeling I know where this is going," Mike says warily.

"Hear me out. He wanted to see my baby photos and I was a little hesitant, but then we spent like an hour or more sitting here looking through them together, and...Mike, it was like we were this couple, y'know? It was perfect, but then it got....I don't know. We were talking about my mom, and he told me not to give up on her, and he touched my face."

Blaine lets his hand rest on his cheek, where Kurt's had, as he thinks back. "I couldn't do it. I wanted to. I wanted to kiss him, but I knew that if I did, that would be it. The fragile peace we had found would be shattered. Then it got oddly sexual, in that we both basically admitted that we were desperate, and I sent him back upstairs, and told him I was gonna....y'know....while I thought of him." 

"Wow. You two are all kinds of messed up." 

"Thank you," Blaine laughs. "It gets worse though." 

"Oh Blaine," Mike sighs. "Ugh. Go on then, hit me with it." 

"Sunday, he comes to wake me up for breakfast. I woke up horny and desperate, basically," he tells Mike with a blush. "I hadn't um...done what I suggested, because I feel a bit strange doing that....so I wake up to find Kurt standing there, um...adjusting himself."

"He was what?" Mike cries. "I'm trying to imagine what the hell Tina would do if she woke up to that. She'd kill me. You must've gotten mad?" 

"No. I pulled him into bed with me, and started kissing him senseless." 

Mike holds his head in his hands in despair, shaking his head. "Oh Blaine, Blaine." 

"I know. We were interrupted anyway, and Kurt went up for breakfast, but then I told him it was wrong and he accused me of being a prude, basically. He said there's nothing wrong with wanting to get off with someone, and that not every sex act has to be deep and profound. Since he left, I can't stop thinking about it. Am I too hung up on meaning? Is it really just as simple as letting go and being with him? Enjoying that moment?" 

"Hmm." Mike is silent for a while, studying Blaine and thinking through his answer. "Actually, I think you're both right. Everyone is different, Blaine. Let me ask you something; is it only Kurt that you want?" 

"I don't know. I think so, yeah. I mean, I've never crushed on anyone else, and I've never really flirted or anything with anyone." 

"The thing is, I think that for you, it all means something because it's Kurt, whereas for him, he can detach emotion from it, because he's used sex that way so many times before." 

"Tell me about it," Blaine sighs. "The amount of guys he's been with terrifies me. I'm still amazed he ever paid me any attention." 

"That's the thing though. He did, and he keeps doing so, and why? Because he's massively in love with you." 

"No, he's not," Blaine shakes his head sadly. "He's just…..well, he's seeing his married man again, for a start, who has left his wife for him." 

"Doesn't make any difference," Mike shrugs. "That, for Kurt, really is sex without meaning but you….you're in a different league for him. I wonder if he fed you that line, because you told him it was wrong. I don't think that for you two, it will ever be no strings. However," he carries on, before Blaine can interrupt, "I do think that sometimes, it's okay to admit to just wanting to get off as quickly as possible, and if that moment had happened between you two, then I don't think you would need to torture yourself over it. You're both consenting adults, and neither one of you forced the other, but maybe it's better to masturbate," he adds with a wink.

"I can't do that."

"Well it's up to you, but trust me, when my house is empty, and my bedroom door is locked..."

"Lalalala!" Blaine yells, stuffing his fingers in his ears. "Tmi. Do you really think Kurt loves me?" 

"Yes, I do." 

"Huh." Blaine shrugs, picking imaginary lint from his jeans. "Strange. Cause I'm not in love with him." 

"No. Of course you're not." 

*

"My dad is taking Blaine on vacation!" 

Santana looks up from her magazine in surprise. Usually, it’s her who storms into Kurt's apartment, not the other way around. "Nice. You going with?"

"No I am not! They're going to Toronto for four days. Can you believe that?" 

"Did your dad invite you?" 

"Of course he invited me, but that's not the point!" 

"So go," Santana says, with a wave of her hand.

"I can't go! I haven't got any money! I'm working double just to pay off all the fucking flights to Ohio I've been taking." 

"Then here's an idea." Slamming her magazine shut, Santana turns to face him. "Call your dad and tell him you're broke, and why. Add in that you don't work at Vogue, and that your apartment is a shit hole, then tell him you're in love with Blaine and want to have babies with him. Ask if he will pay for you to go on vacation, and when he says yes, fly to Canada, get your head out of your ass, talk with Blaine, and turn your fucking life around, you moron." 

Kurt sits on the other end of the couch, folding his arms in protest. "Well, I'm not doing that."

"No. Of course you're not," Santana says, rolling her eyes. "Because that would be altogether too easy for you. Jerk." 

*

It doesn't matter to Blaine that Kurt won't go on vacation with them. He's so excited to be getting out of Ohio that he bounces in his seat until Burt threatens to leave him out on the side of the road. Any qualms Burt had about taking Blaine away on his own, and him being bored with his company are entirely unfounded, with Blaine proving to be more eager than a small child, dragging Burt to this place and that, and eagerly taking pictures of everything they find. 

"This is the best vacation ever!" Blaine declares, falling back on his hotel bed, after another day of sightseeing.

"Blaine, it's your only vacation ever," Burt laughs. "I'm glad you've enjoyed it. To be honest, I haven't been on vacation in so long, I'd forgotten how good it feels. Maybe next year we could fly somewhere, huh?" 

"I've never been on a plane." 

"I know that. We could take Kurt and head down to Florida for a week or so, before you start college." 

"Oh, I don't think Kurt would want to come if I was going." 

"He would," Burt laughs. "He wanted to come this time, it’s just that he's a stubborn ass who won't admit things to himself, much less anyone else."

"Mike thinks Kurt's in love with me." 

"Hmm. To be honest, I think the same, but..." he adds quickly, when Blaine's face lights up. "I don't think you should be getting involved. I'm not sure how long it will take, but something has to give for Kurt to be able to understand all of this for himself, so for now, stay away." 

"But..."

"I mean it, Blaine," Burt warns, in the kind of tone that says he's not to be messed with. "Right now, Kurt is not the type of person I want you to be in a relationship with, and I'm telling you, it’s not going to happen. You deserve more than someone who messes with you the way he does. I can't stand by and pick up the pieces of your broken heart. For now, you just need to concentrate on going back to school. It should be easier this year, without those mindless idiots taunting you. Maybe you'll even meet someone, eh? Dating someone else could be good for you." 

"How far is Niagara Falls?" Blaine asks, staring at the ceiling, and changing the subject entirely. "Could we go there?" 

"Yes, Blaine," Burt sighs, realizing that there's no getting through to a lovestruck teenager. "We can go there."


	24. Chapter 24

Blaine starts back to school for his senior year, and immediately he loves it. Now that the three Lane brothers are gone, the majority of the bullying stops. Sure, he still gets the odd slur thrown his way, but without the constant goading from Max or Simon, most students just choose to ignore his existence. Blaine finds this infinitely preferable, of course, and coupled with his stable, happy, home life, he finds his confidence soaring once more as he starts to look at various college courses, and feels like he really can achieve anything. 

He doesn't hear from Kurt, and since his mom moved he’s only received two short and awkward phone calls from her, but he buries all of this under layer after layer of happy memories he creates with Burt, and his school friends, and then he meets Jackson. 

Jackson is a junior, and new, just like Blaine was last year. Open about his sexuality right from the start, Jackson joins Glee club because "gay people love anything musical." Blaine finds this strange stereotyping rather off putting, but then he himself is in the Glee club, so he lets it slide.

The more he gets to know him the more he finds Jackson to be sweet, funny and engaging company, if a little irritatingly over eager at times. The looks help, of course. He is a little taller than Blaine, with jet black hair, and skin the color of caramel, Blaine decides. His eyes are the darkest of brown, and according to Tina you could get lost in them. Blaine tries to get lost, really, but they're not blue with flecks of green and gold, and Blaine thinks that maybe he prefers the ocean to a cave. 

Jackson is smitten with Blaine from the very start, and Blaine being Blaine, he is completely oblivious to this fact. When he asks for a ride home after Glee club one day, Blaine obliges, assuming he's just asking as one friend to another. 

"So instead of heading home, we could go get something to eat?" Jackson asks nervously. 

"Oh, um...I can't tonight," Blaine answers, as he unlocks his car. "My sort of dad will be cooking dinner. I didn't tell him I'd be out, so..." 

"Your sort of dad?" 

"The guy I live with." 

"Your step dad?" 

"Um...no," Blaine says, struggling to start his car. "He was a neighbor, and then we started working on an old car together. Then my mom and step dad moved to Baltimore, and I stayed here and moved in with Burt."

"Wow. Your mom didn't mind?" 

"No," Blaine says tightly as he drives, not wanting to explain. "She didn't." 

"I like your car," Jackson says, changing the subject entirely. "It's really great." 

"Yeah, no," Blaine laughs, wishing for Kurt and his blunt honesty. "It's really not. It's junk, you can say it." 

"No really, I love it," Jackson says, and in a show of complete over enthusiasm, runs his hands over the seats and dash, "it's amazing." 

"Whatever." 

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?" 

"Have you ever had a boyfriend? I mean, you're gay, aren't you? Chrissy in gym said you were, and..."

"I'm gay," Blaine confirms, coming to a stop outside Jackson's house. "And the guy I live with? I was sorta with his son for a while, but it didn't work out." 

"You live with your ex and his dad?" 

"No. He...Kurt...Kurt doesn't live there. He lives in New York. He's twenty eight," he adds, with something akin to pride. Why? Why does he feel so proud of Kurt, when all he gets is months of silence, followed by a brief weekend of torture, before a return to silence once more? "It's good. We're all good," he lies brightly.

"Oh. Okay so...you're single?"

"Yes." 

"So....I could ask you out, maybe? We could go to the movies tomorrow?" 

"Um...." Blaine hesitates. On the one hand, he wants to say no. His heart belongs to Kurt, and he's playing the very long and drawn out waiting game, but then.... "Sure," he says with a smile. "It's a date." 

*

"I've done something terrible," Blaine announces to Burt, the second he's through the front door.

"What? You forgot to straighten your duvet? That's usually your definition of terrible." 

"I agreed to go on a date with someone." 

"Ha! Oh, Blaine," Burt laughs, hugging him tight. "That's not terrible. That's being a normal teenager." 

"I don't think I like him like that, though," Blaine whines, sitting down at the dinner table. 

"Well that's how you find out," Burt tells him, setting a plate in front of him. "By dating him." 

"I didn't have to date Kurt to find out,” Blaine points out. "I knew already." 

"Do you want me to remind you of what you did with Kurt before you dated him?" Burt asks, then laughs when Blaine turns red. "Thought not. Look kid, I know you're worried, cause you feel like you're somehow betraying Kurt, but you're not. He's not holding up to the same standards, is he? Go on a date with the kid, have fun. You never know, you might enjoy it." 

*

So Blaine does go on the date, and to his surprise, he does enjoy it. The fact it's a movie helps, because there's no awkward conversation, other than the ride there and back. 

"So, thanks," Blaine says brightly, when Jackson pulls up at the end of his driveway. "I had a really great time." 

"Me too. Maybe we could go out again?" 

"Yeah, maybe." 

"Okay. When?" 

"Oh," Blaine says, surprised by his persistence. "I don't know. Um... Wednesday? After Glee?" 

"Sure," Jackson grins. "It's a date." 

"Okay, well. Goodnight." 

"Wait!" Jackson cries, grabbing ahold of Blaine's wrist. "Blaine....can I kiss you? I really want to, but you seem kinda nervous so..." 

Everything in Blaine plummets at the thought of lips other than Kurt's on his, so he does the only thing he can think of to get out of it. He leans across quickly and kisses Jackson's cheek, then dives out of the car with a quick goodbye, running inside and hiding out in his bedroom until morning. 

*

"You gotta tell him," Sam says, as they walk to homeroom the next day. "Dude is a really good guy, and he deserves to know someone else has your heart." 

"Ugh." Blaine stops, banging his head against a locker, before continuing on his way. "You're right. I know you're right but... I enjoy his company, you know? There's nothing bad about him at all, other than the spark isn't there, and maybe he's a bit over enthusiastic. Kurt makes me feel alive, like every nerve in my body is on fire, and not just in a sexual way. I love being around him. I love making him laugh, I love it when he makes me laugh in return. I love watching him as we play cards. I love that he acts all high and mighty, and then suddenly he says something that reveals what he's really thinking, and he gets embarrassed. Hell, I even love the way he eats, for gods sake." 

"Because you love him," Sam points out. "God, you're dumb sometimes." 

"Oh my god, I do," Blaine says, stopping dead. "Shit." 

"There ya go!" Sam laughs, slapping him on the back. "Just....maybe let Jackson down after sectionals, yeah?" 

"Next Saturday," Blaine muses aloud. "Yeah. I can hold off until then." 

Their date the following Wednesday goes well yet again, and Blaine almost finds himself wishing he could find that elusive spark. Certainly he can appreciate Jackson's looks, and he really does enjoy spending time with him, but that...something just isn't there at all. Walking back to Blaine's car after dinner, he is slightly alarmed when Jackson takes his hand, but he's far too polite to say anything, especially when he's just paid for dinner, so Blaine just gives a small smile, and hopes he's imagining that they fit together all wrong. 

“So, goodnight, see you at school,” Blaine announces, the second he pulls up at Jackson’s house. He doesn’t even cut the engine, just leaves it running, while he waits for the poor boy to get the message. 

“Uh...Blaine? Could I please talk to you?”

“Maybe another time?”

“No. Now.”

Reluctantly, Blaine kills the engine and turns to face him, not wanting to hurt the guy when he has really done nothing wrong. 

“You’re still hung up on that guy’s son, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Blaine admits sadly. “I’m trying not to be, really, because he doesn’t treat me well, and I don’t see him for months on end, but....yeah.”

“When did you see him last?”

“End of May.”

“It’s October now.”

“I know.”

“Don’t you think you should....I don’t know, move on?”

“I’m trying,” Blaine cries desperately. “That’s what this is,” he admits, gesturing between them. “I like you, Jackson, really. You’re a good guy, but you’re just not him.”

“That sounds like it’s a good thing, given all you’ve told me about him,” Jackson says with a laugh. “Look, Blaine, I really like you a lot. I want more than just a couple of dates, I wanna be your boyfriend.”

“No.” Blaine says, immediately and definitely. “No, I can’t do that.” 

“Okay,” Jackson sighs. “Would you agree to another date then? Maybe see if things change as we get to know each other better?”

“I guess,” Blaine says reluctantly. “Next week? After sectionals?” 

“Cool. And in the meantime, I’ll ask again. Can I kiss you?” 

“I’m not there yet,” Blaine whispers, leaning across and kissing his cheek. “I’m sorry.” 

*

In all of his sixteen year old wisdom, Jackson decides that being attentive to Blaine will be the way to win him over, and decides to show him how things could be if they were in a relationship. When Blaine leaves homeroom, he’s there to walk him to French, because he has English just down the hall. When Blaine sits down for lunch, Jackson appears and offers homemade peanut butter cookies, because Blaine had mentioned they were his favorites, and when Blaine leaves school Jackson offers his hand, which Blaine takes reluctantly once more, and allows himself to be escorted to his car. 

It’s the same the next day too, and Blaine thinks he might actually scream when Tina points out that it’s sectionals the next day, meaning no weekend escape either. 

“Hey babe,” Jackson calls after school, running to catch up with Blaine whose shoulders slump in despair, while Tina and Mike hide their laughter. 

“Please don’t call me babe,” a mortified Blaine whispers. “Not ever.”

“Why?”

“It’s awful. I hate it.”

“Oh.” Jackson is a little dismayed, but he’s still managed to take ahold of Blaine’s hand, which lets everyone know that they’re together. “What pet name do you like, then?”

Blaine sighs as they walk toward the parking lot, with Tina and Mike on his other side. “None.”

“Kurt.”

“Oh very funny, Tina,” Blaine snaps, annoyed. “You know that’s...”

“No, Kurt is by your car.”

Blaine snaps his head around, as does Jackson, and sure enough, looking utterly divine in maroon pants, with a light blue shirt and gray woollen coat, Kurt leans against his car. 

Blaine isn’t even aware of Jackson’s grip tightening on his fingers, as Kurt pushes off from the car and walks slowly toward them. He’s not aware of how his heartbeat quickens and thunders in his chest, or how his pupils dilate and his breathing becomes ragged. He doesn’t even notice when Kurt stops dead in front of him, their eyes locked, and gives Jackson a firm shove in the chest, so he steps backward and drops Blaine's hand. He only, finally, feels Kurt’s hands framing his face, inclining his head gently for their lips to graze together, before coming back in for more. 

It’s as if a dam breaks for Blaine, who sighs contentedly, and lets his arms wrap around Kurt’s waist, under his coat, and as close to his skin as possible. Kurt’s lips move over his in the most glorious of ways, and he moans and opens his mouth wider, wanting and needing to feel Kurt’s tongue against his. 

“We’ll just be going,” Tina calls, shaking her head. “See you tomorrow, Blaine! And a reminder that Jackson is still standing here.” 

At this, Kurt breaks the kiss, his hands still framing Blaine’s face, as he rests their foreheads together. 

“You bastard,” Blaine whispers, his eyes closed, as a delirious grin comes over his face which he tries unsuccessfully to hide.

“Whatever, fucker,” Kurt whispers back, absolutely beaming with delight to be holding him once more. “Don't curse. God Blaine, you are so beautiful, you know that? And by the way,” he says, his gaze flicking over Blaine’s shoulder, to where Jackson stands looking forlorn. “You’re not needed. Blaine is mine, and if I ever see you holding his hand again, I’ll break both your legs.” 

“Kurt!” Blaine cries, stepping back. “You can’t say stuff like that! Jackson is...”

“I don’t need to know names, Blaine!” Kurt calls, turning and walking away. "I just need you to get rid of him. I’ll wait by the car.” 

"I'm so sorry," Blaine says quietly, hanging his head in shame. "This is what he does. He turns up out of the blue and...." 

"Why?" Jackson says sadly. "Why do you let him treat you like that? You know I wouldn't, right?" 

"I know but..." 

"You don't want to be called babe, but you'll let him call you a fucker? And you think it's...what? Affectionate? To call him a bastard? I've never heard you curse, Blaine. Hell, I've never even been granted one little kiss, and yet he takes one step toward you and you're practically jumping each other." 

"He has my heart," Blaine says loudly, drowning out any more of Jackson's protests. "Sometimes I wish he didn't, but Kurt is right. I'm his." 

"Then I hope you're entirely miserable together," Jackson snaps, storming off toward his car and leaving Blaine to walk back to Kurt. 

"That could've gone better." 

"I don't want you dating anyone else." 

"Then why don't you date me? Put an end to it all?" Blaine asks with a frown. "Go on. You say I belong to you, and that I'm not allowed to date anyone else, so prove it. Say I'm your boyfriend, agree to try again." 

The silence is deafening, and Blaine gives a nod. "Thought so." 

He doesn't protest when Kurt gets in the car though, but he also doesn’t enquire about why he's home, or how he got to the school, just starts his car several times over, and then drives out of the lot. 

"This car gets worse every time I get in it. It's hideous." 

"Shut up," Blaine says automatically, though really he's ridiculously happy to have Kurt's insults being hurled once more.

"Get a new one." 

"And how am I supposed to afford that?" 

"I need to tell you something." 

"If you're getting married, I don't want to know," Blaine snaps. "Or if he's moving in...whatever. I don't wanna hear it." 

"I got a job." 

"What?" 

Blaine pulls over immediately, turning to Kurt with excitement. "What job, where? Tell me!" 

"It's only part time, so I need to stay at the coffee shop as well, but it's paid," Kurt says, and Blaine notices how proud yet nervous he is, fiddling with the buttons on his jacket. "I'm gonna be writing for Marie Claire online. There's a possibility, if they like my stuff, that I'll be promoted to full time next year." 

"Kurt, that's amazing!" Blaine cries, hugging him hard. "I'm so proud of you! Oh my god! I knew you could do it, I knew it! You're amazing, you know that? Wow. Just wow." He laughs, shaking his head, before kissing Kurt soundly on the mouth. "You're gonna take the fashion world by storm, I just know it." 

"I found out on Wednesday and I've been waiting to tell you." 

"You could've called. I mean, I know you never do, but..."

"I needed to see you," Kurt admits, taking Blaine's hand in his. "I need to tell you more." 

"Okay. You wanna get coffee? Or go home and talk about it there?" 

"Actually, I kinda want to say it all now," Kurt says nervously. "Cause I don't find it easy to...you know...do emotion and all that." 

"I'm listening." 

"When I went back to New York after your birthday, Jeremy was literally waiting for me. His wife had found out about his affairs and kicked him out. He came straight to me. Before you, I would've kept him with me for a couple of nights before sending him on his way, but you inspire me to be a better person, so I let him stay." 

Blaine hangs his head and gives a sad nod, pretty sure he can sense what's coming. "Also before you, Jeremy and I had...I don't know...an open relationship, I guess, though it was never defined as that. We just did what, or who, we wanted, and then came back to each other, over and over. Then you, with your stupid face, and dumb curls, and ridiculously drownable eyes..."

"Drownable isn't a word." 

"Shut up. It is now. You arrived and….fuck it Blaine, you just made everything else seem so dull and lifeless in comparison. Kissing you....just kissing you, was the best experience of my life. The other stuff totally blew my mind. The fact that I was not only willing, but wanted to wait for more...Blaine, that's never been me, but suddenly there I was, wanting all this to be perfect. After New Years, I struggled with finding my feet. If I'm honest, you were a little over eager with your phone calls and messages, but instead of trying to work out how to tell you, I just cut off contact, and that wasn't fair. I found it oppressive to have the word relationship hanging over my head. I don't know why, but I did. I'm sorry for not being more honest about it at the time." 

"That's okay," Blaine says quietly. "It's in the past. Don't worry about it." He starts the car again, but Kurt's hand is on his arm right away. 

"Where are you going? I'm not done!" 

"Oh. Okay. Sorry. I thought that was it, the apology...sorry." 

"Cut the engine." 

"But she started on the first try!" 

"Blaine." 

"Fine."

"Thank you. Anyway, like I said, Jeremy was there waiting, and I said he could stay, only I made him take Santana's apartment, and after nearly making myself broke because of it, I managed to convince Santana to move in with me." 

"Don't you have one bedroom?" 

"Yes, but sharing a bed with a lesbian is much better than sharing one with a predatory gay." 

"Good point." 

"And that's what he became. The real truth is….since I kissed you nearly a year ago, I haven’t been near anyone else." 

"Excuse me, what?"

"I said..."

"I heard. But you told me you were dating Jeremy."

"Because I felt like you'd moved on. I wanted to hurt you." 

"You're insane," Blaine says slowly, turning to look out the window. "Absolutely insane." 

"I let Jeremy take me out, but when he tried to force himself on me for the seventh time in as many dates, I told him I was in..." Kurt breaks off, unable to finish his sentence. "I told him I'd met someone else." 

"I hate you." 

"I know you do. I hate me too." 

"You can't say it, can you? Cause I don't even think it's true! What kind of fucked up world do you live in?" Blaine cries, his voice booming inside the car. "At what point did you think any of this was okay? What led you to believe that it was okay to lead either me or him on like this? That morning, last time, when we almost….I was wracked with guilt, Kurt! Cause my mom cheated on my dad, in case you'd forgotten, and I swore I would never do that to anyone."

"And what about what you’ve been doing, huh? You haven't been leading that guy on? It's not him you want, I heard you tell him," Kurt says proudly. "I have your heart." 

"You...you have had me over a barrel for a year now!" Blaine shouts. "One week ago, I agreed to a date with Jackson because since you he's the first gay guy I've met that I actually find vaguely attractive, but there's nothing there, Kurt! It's all you," he yells, tapping his temples. "Filled with you, always. You rule every bit of me, and I damn well wish you didn't most of the time. Honestly, Kurt, I don't get it. Who else have you told about your job?" 

"No one. I wanted you to be the first, because I did it for you." 

"You what?"

"I did it for you. I want to be a better person for you." 

"You have to do it for yourself, Kurt. Stop thinking you have to have a man to define you. Be your own person, because you? As you are? Perfect." 

"I don't think I am, though," Kurt says, looking down, so Blaine won't see the tears in his eyes. "I hurt you, I lie to you, I never call. I hold everything back from you because I don't want to lose face, I don't want to be vulnerable." 

"We could be amazing together, if you'd let us," Blaine tells him.

"We fight all the time." 

"We have chemistry."

"You just told me you hated me."

"I'm not the only one who bullshits though, am I?" 

"Touché." 

"I don't know what to think, or say, or do anymore," Blaine sighs, thumping the steering wheel in frustration. "Four and a half months of no contact, then you're standing by my car waiting for me. You kiss me, and...ugh. It feels so good, doesn't it?"

"When we kiss?" Kurt asks with a soft smile. "Yeah." 

"And you've flown all the way here to tell me, face to face, about your job. That means something to me. Am I wrong to think that means something? Is this nothing to you?" 

"It's everything to me," Kurt says softly. "I've been flat broke, trying to pay off credit card debts plus the charge card I filled with flights home and various other stuff. I've been struggling to keep my head above water, but when I got that call, I just wanted to see you. I needed to see your face in front of me, I needed to feel your lips on mine." 

"So what do we do? We're both sitting here, basically admitting neither of us want anyone else, but….I'll be honest, I'm incredibly angry at you about a lot of things. I don't think I'm in a position to be in a relationship with you right now, and God knows how you feel about commitment, so....." 

"So we see how this all plays out, I guess," Kurt shrugs. "Be honest with each other, talk about stuff." 

"Can you do that though? Can you keep that up? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy with how my life is going, and no, I don't sit at home pining for you, but that's only because I can't let myself. I know that if I do, I'll fall into some deep depression, and I don't think I'll ever pull out of it, so I have to pretend like you don't exist, otherwise I'd go crazy." 

"I think of you all the time," Kurt admits, and this time his tears fall. "I do fall into a pit of depression. That time you and dad went to Toronto? I wanted to go so badly, but I couldn't afford it. I knew if I asked dad he'd pay, but then I didn't want to admit I was broke. Those four days I called in sick and just laid in bed, staring at the ceiling or crying. The last night you were there I went out and got so wasted that I got hit by a cab walking home." 

"You...oh my god, Kurt!"

"That was kind of my wake up call. I mean, I was okay. Bruised, but not badly injured. Even so, I had to question how much further I was gonna fall before I tried to pick myself back up. It’s hard for me, too," he insists gently. "Because I want to be happy with you. I want us to be one of those perfect couples, but you're right, not yet, maybe. We need time for stuff to get good between us before we decide we want to make that leap, because I'm telling you; if we do decide to try again, I want it to be properly." 

"Agreed," Blaine says with a smile, and he gently raises Kurt's hand and kisses the back of it, keeping eye contact all the while.

"Am I allowed to tell you that kiss just ignited something inside of me, and that I'm now incredibly desperate for you?" 

"You're allowed to say it, yes," Blaine says, his eyes locked on Kurt's. The air suddenly changes and the atmosphere becomes heavy with desire as Kurt lets his hand rub over Blaine's thigh. 

"And am I allowed to say that I want you to take me home, undress me, and kiss me all over?" 

Blaine doesn't answer, and for a moment, Kurt thinks he's pushed too far, but Blaine is processing, thinking, trying to figure out what all this means. He wants exactly what Kurt is suggesting, he realizes, and if they're not defining anything at the moment, at least they’re on the same page, right? Is there anything truly wrong with giving in to your desires, if you know no one is going to be hurt because of it? 

Starting the engine on the first try, and pulling back out on to the highway, Blaine drives home.


	25. Chapter 25

They fall through the door of the thankfully empty house and Blaine wastes no time in pushing Kurt's jacket from his shoulders as he kisses him hard. Shoes and bags are abandoned in the hallway, and Blaine backs them toward the basement door, gasping when Kurt bites at his lower lip. 

"My room," Kurt commands, but Blaine shakes his head, a devilish grin coming over his face. 

"Mine."

"Mine is better." 

"My room, cause I wanna look at my sheets and know I made you fall apart on them." 

"Bastard." 

"I win," Blaine says smugly, as he takes Kurt's hand, and pulls him down the stairs. 

Being naked in each other's arms again is like quenching a long thirst. They both whimper and sigh with each article of clothing that is lost as more and more of their skin is exposed, ready to be kissed, touched, bitten and cherished. Kurt likes the rough way in which Blaine sucks at his neck. He knows he will be left with marks all over his neck and chest, but the thought only drives him even more wild with lust, and he pins Blaine against the wall, sucking and biting at the top of his neck, just under his ear.

"Yes," Blaine moans, and he cups Kurt's ass though his underwear, pushing him closer. "Oh fuck yes," he gasps again, when their erections rub together. He pushes Kurt backward, and keeps pushing, until he falls onto the bed, where Blaine quickly tugs off both their underwear before kneeling on the floor between Kurt's legs. 

"Don't you even think about getting yourself off," Kurt warns, and Blaine laughs and kisses the inside of his thigh. 

"I wouldn't dare." 

Gripping Kurt firmly, Blaine takes him deep in his mouth right away, enjoying the feel of Kurt's hands tangling into his curls. 

"Fuck, Blaine, yes! Suck me." 

Blaine is shocked at how turned on he is by this rougher, dirtier sounding Kurt, and the more he sucks and teases with his mouth and tongue, the louder and filthier Kurt becomes, pulling Blaine's hair hard and rambling about how perfect his mouth is. 

"Blaine, Blaine," Kurt moans, pushing at his shoulder. "Hold on a minute. Here." Standing, he beckons Blaine closer, and he looks excited rather than nervous as he kneels at Kurt's feet, which only serves to turn Kurt on even more. "I wanna see what you can take," he growls, and slides his cock between Blaine's lips. "Oh, you've been watching porn, you dirty boy," Kurt laughs, as Blaine relaxes his throat around him and takes him deep. "Oh that's hot. Do you get yourself off in this bed, Blaine?" 

Blaine gives a muffled noise as a response, which Kurt deems to be an affirmative, and grips Kurt’s ass cheeks roughly, urging him to fuck into his mouth. 

"Yeah? You like that? You like me fucking your face? Wait til it's your ass, Blaine. You'll be screaming for more." 

Blaine is now desperate, but he holds off, refusing to touch himself and focusing instead on the taste of Kurt on his tongue, the wide but not unpleasant stretch of his lips, and the way the head of Kurt's cock hits the back of his throat. 

"Okay, enough," Kurt says suddenly. "Or I'll be painting your insides. Up on the bed. Your turn." 

"No." Blaine confidently gets to his feet, striding to his night stand, where he grabs some lube, and motions for Kurt to lie down. 

"What's that for?"

"Lie down and you'll find out." 

"You're not going near my ass." 

"Stop panicking," Blaine laughs. "I will one day though," he whispers, as he lies down on top of Kurt. "I'll take you hard and rough, and it'll be you who's screaming for more." 

"Not a...oh! Chance," Kurt gasps, as Blaine pours lube over his cock. "No one’s ever done that, and no one ever will." 

"I will," Blaine says, full of confidence. "Because we're gonna do everything together." 

Kurt wants to refute that claim, but actually, he realizes that he really likes the thought of doing everything together, so he shuts up, and takes to whimpering softly instead when Blaine slides their cocks together. 

"You are so incredibly....you," Blaine says quietly, pausing a moment to rub their noses together. "I really do want it all with you, you know. Everything." 

Kurt would like a definition; does everything just refer to the bedroom department, or everything on a wider scale? Marriage? Living together? Babies? But then Blaine starts to move, and for now, his mind returns to focusing on the feel of their cocks rubbing together, with Blaine's hand working between them, gripping them both as they work toward their orgasm. 

"Kiss me," Kurt hears himself beg, and Blaine obliges, running his tongue into Kurt's mouth in a kiss that is sloppy and uncontrolled, but perfect, as Kurt arches his back, and cries out in ecstasy. "Blaine! I need to...oh Blaine, Blaine." 

"Fuck, Kurt yes, go on, come....oh fuck," Blaine loses it first, his cock pulsing against Kurt's, as Kurt then rises up again and comes hard, panting as his whole body shudders in pleasure. 

They ride out their orgasms together for as long as possible, until the convulsing gradually fades and their breathing slowly evens out, and then Blaine looks up with a lazy, satisfied smile and kisses Kurt's lips. "Yeah, I have been watching porn. Glad to see it's paid off." 

The feel of Kurt's laughter rumbling beneath him is everything, and he props himself on one elbow to grin down at him. "What?" 

"Nothing! It's just funny, that's all. You were so shy and quiet." 

"I'm not sixteen anymore." 

"No, I suppose you're not." 

"I still get nervous," Blaine admits. "But, I guess I realized that it's okay to admit to wanting and needing sex." 

"It is," Kurt agrees, letting his fingers dance over Blaine's back "But it's also okay to admit that every time you and I are together, it means something."

"So that fight we had..." Blaine starts.

"Mmm?"

"Maybe we were both right?" 

"Yeah," Kurt says with a smile. "We were." 

Blaine rolls onto his side, reaching for some tissues to clean them both up before holding his arm out. He is surprised when Kurt not only cuddles close, but actually wraps his arm around Blaine's waist, kissing his chest before resting his head there. 

"What time does dad get back?" 

"Six." 

"So we have time to stay like this for a while?"

"We do," Blaine answers, his heart soaring, as he cuddles Kurt a little tighter. "Why? Are you falling asleep on me?" 

"Yep." 

"Oh." Blaine grins up at the ceiling, as Kurt yawns. "Okay." 

*

Kurt reluctantly wakes and leaves Blaine's bed at quarter to six, giving Blaine time to shower, while he heads upstairs to start dinner and make it look like they haven't really just had a two hour nap together. 

"Shit! Dad. Hi. Hi!" Kurt says, as brightly as he can.

Burt seems to loom large in the hallway, with his hands on his hips and the evening shadows behind him. "Kurt," he says with a nod. "You’re home then?" 

"Until Sunday, yeah." 

"Good to know. Right. I'm taking a shower." 

"Uh dad? What we were," Kurt starts, gesturing lamely toward the basement. "I mean, I was just... It wasn't what it..."

"I'm saying nothing," Burt replies briskly, holding his hands above his head and marching up the stairs. "Nothing at all." 

He softens as the evening wears on, mainly because he can see- whatever the arrangement- that Kurt and Blaine are happy. They talk easily over dinner and insist on loading the dishwasher and cleaning the kitchen while Burt watches TV. He's pretty sure they're also making out in there, but he certainly isn't about to find out. 

When they do arrive to watch TV, Burt is amazed that they curl up together on the couch, with Kurt putting his arm around Blaine's shoulders and kissing into his hair, and Blaine seems relaxed, as if there hadn't really been a four month silence between them. He wants to ask either one of them if things are all worked out, but he doesn't want to ask them together, so he resolves to wait until tomorrow, when he knows Blaine will be awake and ready for breakfast early because of sectionals.

"So you'll be watching Blaine tomorrow, then?" he asks Kurt, who frowns questioningly. 

"Tomorrow? Working on Bessie?" 

"Sectionals." 

"What?" Kurt sits up, and Blaine shifts away, looking down at his hands rather than at Kurt. 

"Uh...yeah. It's uh...sectionals for Glee. You can come watch, if you want. I'd like you to." Blaine doesn't know why his heart is beating so fast, and his palms are sweaty. He still doesn't look at Kurt, whose steady gaze he can feel on the side of his face, but he adds a very quiet "please" on the end. 

"Hmm. No thanks," Kurt says, picking up the remote and changing the channel. "Not my thing." 

The silence that follows is deafening, with Blaine keeping his head bowed, Kurt watching the screen, and Burt glaring at his son's profile in the hope that he might glance his way, but he doesn't. After a full twenty minutes, Blaine finally looks up and Burt could cry for the pain on his face. "I'm going to bed," he announces briskly. "Night Burt." 

"G'night son." 

"Blaine?" He stops in the doorway at the sound of Kurt's voice, but doesn't look back, just stays with his shoulders slumped. 

"Yes, Kurt?" 

"Did I do something wrong?" 

Blaine turns around at this, to see Kurt leaning over the back of the couch, one eyebrow raised at him, as he waits for the answer. 

"What do you think?" Blaine asks, but leaves before Kurt can say anything else. 

"Idiot." 

"What?" Kurt asks his dad in confusion. "What did I do?" 

"Kurt.... I don't even know where to begin," Burt sighs. "I come home to clothing scattered around my hallway," he says, cutting Kurt off before he can reply. "Which is fine, y'know. I'm no prude. I get that he's young and has urges. Fine. Then I realize it's your jacket, the one I got you for your birthday, and your shoes, and my heart plummets for him, cause I think he's a fool for you, and you use him for sex when you're here and then forget all about him. So I'm pissed, yeah? But I think I won't say anything, because I have both my boys home, and I don't want to ruin that by shootin' my mouth off. It's not my place to tell either of you two how to behave. Then I watch you together through dinner, and in here this evening, and I actually dare to hope that you might have decided to make a real go of things. I see my Kurt. The one who is kind and loving, and the one who seems to cherish Blaine as if he were a rare and precious gift bestowed on you for safekeeping. And he's so content! He's there, with his head resting on your shoulder. Blaine...he's like an affectionate puppy, Kurt. He likes to be hugged. When you're not here, he either sits glued to my side on the couch, or if I'm in this chair, he sits on the floor with his head resting on my knee. His dad was very affectionate with him, and he missed that while he was with his mom and the jerks. So I'm sitting here and I'm thinking bless him, he's found what he's been looking for, cause he looks radiant, like it was Christmas. The second I mention sectionals he gets nervous, Kurt. Any fool can see how badly he wants you to be there, only he hasn't asked, because he's scared of you saying no. And what do you do? You turn him down flat. Has it ever occurred to you how desperately he needs your support? What a show of solidarity would mean to him?"

"I hate show choir," Kurt says angrily, embarrassed to hear his dad highlighting all his errors. 

"You liked it well enough when you were in it," Burt snaps. "But the point is, it should make no difference if it's marching band or a spelling bee. If you love Blaine as you say you do, then you should want to be there to support him, no matter what the occasion."

"I've never said I love him." 

"Man up, Kurt. Stop being so scared, and make Blaine proud to be with you." 

"We're not together." 

"Oh, this just gets better and better," Burt cries, throwing his head back in despair. "Are you still gonna be giving us that line when you have four kids running around in the back yard? Get with the program, boy. Right now, Blaine is down there hurting, and you're the only one who can make it better. Now I'm going to bed. Good night." He stamps toward the stairs, pausing at the bottom. "It's really good to have you home. We've missed you." 

"Well, you've both got a funny way of showing it." 

"Really? I thought Blaine spent all afternoon showing you his appreciation. Or were you looking at baby photos again?" 

Kurt slumps back on the couch with a sigh of despair, before going upstairs to shower and change into his pajamas. If he's being honest, he can't think why he instantly turned Blaine down like that. It was a knee jerk reaction to being invited to something that was so important to Blaine, because he knows he will feel pressured to play the role of loving boyfriend, and he's not sure he can do it. His dad is right though, he realizes, as he climbs into bed. Blaine is hurting, and for that, he feels truly terrible. 

"Ugh. Fuck you, Anderson," he grumbles, as he gets back out of bed and walks all the way down to the basement in the dark. 

Blaine lies on his side. He hasn’t been crying, but he has been hurting, and he's annoyed at himself for the way his heart soars at the sound of Kurt's footsteps. He climbs into bed behind him, and Blaine can't help but relax at the feel of his bare chest pressed against his back. A soft kiss is pressed to his shoulder, and then Kurt's arm comes around his waist to find his hand and hold it tight. 

"I'm sorry. I don't even know why I turned you down. Of course I'll be there to support you. Of course I will." 

"I don't want you to go because you feel like you have to." 

"I don't, really. I mean, whatever this is, we're still a family, right? And families support each other, and cheer for each other."

"That's weird, isn't it?" 

"What is?" 

"That we're a family. Like, I know your dad always said I'd have a place here, but now I actually live here, and it's...I don't know. Yeah. We're a family. The three of us." 

"I'm fucking my little brother," Kurt says into the dark and there's a pause, followed by a wild burst of laughter from them both. 

"Oh my god, please don't ever say that again," Blaine cries, laughing hard, as Kurt continues to cackle behind him. "Not ever. This is complicated enough to explain." 

"Ha!" Kurt pulls away for Blaine to roll onto his back, and then he props himself up alongside him. "I'm sorry, baby bro." 

"Stop it!" 

"I always wanted a little brother."

"You're repulsive," Blaine laughs, "but sexy." 

Kurt tries to kiss him, but they're both laughing too hard, so he settles for raking his hands through Blaine's hair, and just studying his face. "You're amazing," he says, as his laughter fades. "You're so stunning, and hearing you laugh is just the best thing in the entire world, you know that?" 

"I thought kissing me was the best thing?" Blaine asks, in an effort to hide his ecstasy at Kurt's words. 

"Everything about you is the best thing, because you are the best thing," Kurt admits, then leans down and gives him a sweet, gentle kiss, his hand just coming up to cup his jaw and rest under his ear. "I'll be there tomorrow, and I'll help you cover up that enormous hickey before you leave in the morning." 

"Thank you," Blaine whispers. "I kinda didn't think about that at the time." 

They stay quiet, just content to study one another in the dim moonlight, until Blaine yawns and Kurt pulls back. "I'd better..."

"Stay," Blaine says, pulling him down onto the mattress. "I'd like you to." 

"Hmm," Kurt sighs, happily pulling Blaine back against him. "I suppose I can manage that." 

*

Kurt takes his seat nervously in the auditorium and waits for his dad to join him. After much effort with concealer and foundation, Kurt had sent Blaine off early this morning for last minute rehearsals and hadn't heard from him since. He had killed time with his dad in the garage, putting finishing touches on Bessie, who was very nearly the gleaming car of Burt's dreams. It had been nice, actually, to have time with just the two of them, and he found his dad's growing nervousness for Blaine's competition rather sweet. That was until they got to the theatre at a high school in Columbus, and Burt had gone running to the bathroom, declaring he would meet Kurt in there. 

"Excuse me! Sorry."

Kurt rolls his eyes at the sight of Burt, making his way from the end of the filled row, trying not to step on people as he passes. 

"Sorry. Sorry. Hi. Hello. I'm here for my boy," he tells a woman, who looks nonplussed. "My boy," he repeats proudly to another couple. "McKinley High. Blaine. Watch out for him. He'll be the best one. That's my boy." 

"Dad. Please," Kurt hisses, as Burt finally arrives and sits next to him. "You're embarrassing." 

"Sorry. Can't help it. I'm proud of him." 

"Oh really. I hadn't noticed," Kurt remarks, rolling his eyes fondly. 

The first three show choirs are something and nothing, and Kurt is bored out of his mind. Choir number four, some fast paced, high energy group called Vocal Adrenaline, prove to be spectacular, and then it's the New Directions turn to take to the stage. 

"So, is he doing a solo or anything?" Kurt asks, searching for Blaine as they assemble in rows. 

"Don't think so. He said he has a line or two on his own. There he is!" Burt booms, pointing excitedly to Blaine, third from left, on the back row.

"Yes, yes," Kurt whispers. "Keep your voice down." 

The first song is Queen's Kind of Magic, and Kurt recognizes Tina singing a solo verse, but Blaine is back up, and he is again for the second number, some kind of power ballad which a small girl belts out loudly, while everyone else ooh's and ahh's in the background. 

"This was a waste of damn time," Kurt mutters angrily, between songs. "He's not doing anything." 

"He's up there, and you're down here cheering for him. That's not a waste of time," Burt tells him, digging him in the ribs. "They've only got one number left anyway." 

The spotlight suddenly comes up on Blaine, in the center of the stage, and he looks up sharply, seeming to find Kurt in the audience, and hold eye contact with him. 

"You're a troublemaker."

"What did he just sing?" Kurt asks, but Burt is leaning forward in his chair, as Blaine repeats his line. 

"You're a troublemaker…”  
“You ain't nothing but a troublemaker, boy."

The beat suddenly kicks in, and all Kurt can do is stare, as Blaine starts to dance alongside Mike, and the idiot boy who thought he could date him. He's good, Kurt thinks to himself. Really good.

"I know, right?" Burt cries, getting to his feet to cheer loudly, and Kurt realizes he's spoken aloud. "Go on my son!" 

"Oh my god," Kurt groans, but he shuts up when Blaine starts to sing again, and he has no option but to stand when the whole audience gets to its feet. 

"You had me hooked again from the minute you sat down  
The way you bite your lip got my head spinnin' around  
After a drink or two I was putty in your hands  
I don't know if I have the strength to stand, oh oh oh...

Trouble troublemaker, yeah  
That's your middle name, oh oh oh...  
I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain  
And I wanna know...

Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad, oh oh oh?  
My mind keeps saying,  
"Run as fast as you can."  
I say, "I'm done," but then you pull me back, oh oh oh...  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker!"

"What song is this?" Kurt cries, alarmed. 

"I don't know, but I love it!" Burt cries happily, as he claps and dances along. "He's amazing. That's my boy!" he shouts loudly, at the man next to him. "Up there! That's my boy!" 

"It's like you're always there in the corners of my mind  
I see your silhouette every time I close my eyes  
There must be poison in those finger tips of yours  
'Cause I keep comin' back again for more, oh oh oh...

Trouble troublemaker, yeah  
That's your middle name, oh oh oh...  
I know you're no good but you're stuck in my brain  
And I wanna know...

Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad, oh oh oh?  
My mind keeps saying,  
"Run as fast as you can."  
I say, "I'm done," but then you pull me back, oh oh oh...  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker!"

"I'm gonna kill him!" Kurt cries. "He picked that song on purpose." 

"He did not!" Burt laughs. "How could he? He wasn't expecting you to be here." 

"Why is he so good?" Kurt asks his dad, ignoring his remark. "Did you know he was this good? Did you know he had a solo?" 

Blaine looks like a different person altogether, filled with sass and a confident stage presence, as a girl takes to rapping, while he falls into line with the dancing once more.

"I didn't know anything about it!" Burt laughs. "He's a dark horse, alright." He leans past Kurt, to tap the lady next to him. "That's my boy!" 

"Oh, will you shut up?" Kurt snaps. "Were you like this with me?" 

"Yep," Burt says smugly. 

"I'm glad I never knew." 

Burt does shut up, because Blaine is back for one last chorus, and Kurt is absolutely positive Blaine is singing directly to him.

"Why does it feel so good but hurt so bad, oh oh oh?  
My mind keeps saying,  
"Run as fast as you can."  
Troublemaker  
I say, "I'm done," but then you pull me back, oh oh oh...  
I swear you're giving me a heart attack  
Troublemaker." 

There's no doubt they've won from the audience’s reaction alone, which is crazy, and led by Burt, who climbs on his seat to cheer above them all. "Well done, son! Go Blaine! Woo! Love you buddy!" 

"Get down," Kurt hisses. "You are fifty seven years old and embarrassing as hell." 

"That's my..."

"Boy, we know," the lady in front of them says, turning around with a smile. "We're Mike Chang's parents. You must be Mr. Anderson? Blaine's been to our house a few times. Such a lovely boy. He's a credit to you." 

"Oh, well," Burt says, his chest puffing out with pride. "He's not actually my son. This one is," he says, gesturing to Kurt. "I'm Burt Hummel. Blaine is...well he is mine. I've laid claim to him. He lives with me. It's um...it's a long story." 

"Oh. Well, it's nice to meet you," Mrs. Chang tells him, shaking hands warmly. "And your boy did really well." 

"Thank you. As did yours," Burt smiles, before realizing everyone else is sitting down waiting for the result. 

The New Directions are announced as the winners, and Kurt can't help but feel a stab of jealousy when idiot boy hugs Blaine tight. Luckily Mike and Tina take over pretty quickly, but then some blond moron kisses his cheek, and Blaine laughs, kisses him back, and hugs him hard, and Kurt is out of his seat and storming his way toward the exit. He's no match for a proud Burt though, who grabs him and hauls him backward. 

"He's just a friend," Burt growls in his ear. "Now stop it. We're going to find our boy." 

"He's your boy," Kurt grumbles, as they walk from the auditorium. "As you keep telling anyone who will listen. But he's not mine." 

"Ha! That's like the pope denying he's a catholic. If you had to fill out a form, and mark down your religion, it'd be 'worshipping at the altar of Blaine Anderson.'" 

"It would not." 

"If they cut you open, all that'd be running through your veins would be Blaine, Blaine, Blaine." 

"Shut up."

"If they invented a mind reading machine..."

"Okay! Point taken! Jesus." 

"Oh!" Burt suddenly yells. "There's my boy!" 

"Woah!" Blaine looks up at the familiar boom of Burt's voice, in time to see him charging down the corridor toward him, and then suddenly he is swept off the ground, and into a bone crushing hug. 

"You did it! You won! I'm so proud of you!" Burt cries, giving him an almighty kiss on the cheek, before ruffling his neatly gelled hair. "Solo! You kept that quiet, huh? No stopping you now, my son. You'll go all the way, I just know it." 

"Thank you," Blaine says bashfully, and Kurt notices how he's not at all embarrassed by Burt's wild over enthusiasm, but actually moved. "I could hear you cheering," he admits softly. "I couldn't see you, but I could hear you, and it was everything." 

"Where's your teacher? I wanna introduce myself." 

"He's over there," Blaine laughs. "Go tell him I'm your son. He's confused enough about my living situation." 

"I can say that?" Burt asks, clearly delighted. "I can say you're my son and you don't mind?" 

"I don't mind," Blaine grins. "Why would I?" 

"Well, cause you had a dad, and I don't wanna take that away from you." 

"You couldn't. Really Burt, um...hearing you say I'm your son, kinda makes me stupidly happy." 

Grabbing his face firmly, Burt kisses his forehead, then takes off through the crowd toward Blaine's teacher, booming to anyone who will listen. "My son just won sectionals. Did ya see him?" 

Blaine turns to Kurt, who leans against the wall. "Well?" 

"Was that song aimed at me?" 

"Ha!" Blaine looks down, shaking his head. "No. Why?" he asks, looking back up and making Kurt swoon. "Got a guilty conscience?" 

"No. It just seemed very....pointed." 

"I didn't even pick it. It's by a British guy. Olly Murs. What did you think?" 

"I thought you were incredible," Kurt admits. "And on the inside, I'm just as proud as he is." They both turn, looking over to where Burt is shaking the teachers hand. "I think you've pretty much made his life."

"Have you told him about your job? He'd probably explode with joy." 

"How can I? He thinks I already do what I'm gonna be doing." 

"So tell him the truth?"

"No."

"So tell him you've changed companies." 

"I could." 

"Do it," Blaine urges. "He will be ridiculously pleased, you know he will." 

"Yeah," Kurt says, a slow smile spreading over his face. 

"And maybe you could tell him the truth sometime soon?" Blaine says gently, not wanting to ruin this moment by making Kurt explode in a rage.

"Yeah," he says musingly. "Maybe." 

"I'd um...I'd like to take you out to celebrate your new job, actually," Blaine admits shyly. "But I don't know how you'd feel about that." 

"I'd love to." 

Blaine looks up sharply. "Really?" 

"Yeah." 

"I'd like to kiss you, too. Right now." 

Kurt steps closer, his eyes fixed on Blaine, as suddenly the atmosphere becomes charged. "Bring it." 

"So they're both my sons," Burt babbles to Tina's mom, and Blaine's teacher. "It's nice. Kurt always wanted a brother so..." he trails off as they all look to where Kurt and Blaine are locked in a passionate embrace, with Blaine running his hands into Kurt's hair as they devour one another. "Oh." 

"Seems like he's very pleased indeed," Tina's mom says with a laugh. "Don't worry. Tina explained they were together." 

Burt nods weakly, not even attempting to explain anything else, and he pretends to be interested when the teacher starts talking about arts funding in schools. 

"Let's ask your dad to come to dinner," Blaine gasps, when their kiss eventually breaks. 

"Must we? I mean, I like him and all, but...it's not just us." 

"I still have my fake ID," Blaine whispers hotly, directly into Kurt's ear. "We could go out for a few drinks and dancing after."

"Really? You'd wanna do that?" Kurt asks, happy when Blaine nods. "Yeah! Okay. Sure. Dad can come to dinner, then we'll go out after. I like that." 

"I like you." 

"I know you do," Kurt grins, and then his eyes flick over Blaine's shoulder, and he frowns. "Excuse me," he says, letting his arms slide over Blaine's shoulders, keeping him in place. "Not another step, boy, or I'll end you. I told you already, he's mine." 

Blaine spins around to see a terrified looking Jackson standing there, wringing his hands nervously. "I just wanted to..." 

"No. You're not. Whatever it was," Kurt says firmly. "Now go." 

"Kurt! Stop it. Go find your dad, and ask about dinner." 

"Ugh. Fine. But I'm watching you," he feels the need to add to Jackson, as he backs away slowly. 

"Blaine....he's horrible." 

"He's perfect," Blaine sighs happily. 

"I came to tell you a group of us are going for pizza, then bowling, if you wanted to come." 

"Oh, I can't, I'm going out for a family dinner," he says proudly, assuming Burt will say yes. 

"You could come bowling after?" Jackson tries. "I mean, I'd say bring Kurt too, but it's probably too immature for him or something." 

"Uh yeah...actually, Kurt and I already have plans tonight." 

"Ugh. Fine," Jackson sighs. "Bring him if you must, if it means you'll be there." 

"Jackson, thanks, but we're um...we're gonna go to a club or something. Have a few drinks and stuff." 

"What? Why? Why do you feel the need to do that? What, you wanna keep up with him, just so he'll be impressed?" 

"Actually, no," Blaine shrugs. "I suggested it, just because I really wanna go out and cut loose for a change. I've been cramming in a load of studying, along with my job, and rehearsals for sectionals, plus Kurt's just scored a really great job so.....so we have reason to celebrate, I guess." 

"You're...you're not even the guy I thought you were," Jackson says, wrinkling his nose. 

"Maybe I'm not," Blaine says, flicking his eyes over to where Kurt stands with his dad. "But I'm his guy, and that's all I need."


	26. Chapter 26

"So, where are you two going?" Burt asks again, as Kurt pulls into the driveway. 

"Bowling," Kurt repeats. "With Blaine's friends." 

"Okay. Well, have fun. Congrats again on the job son, it sounds amazing." 

"Thanks," Kurt says, smiling uneasily. 

"And you," Burt says, turning in his seat to where Blaine sits in the back. "I'm proud of you." 

"Yes, we realized," Kurt laughs. "You've told all of Ohio." 

"Well I’m really proud, okay! Please bring him back in one piece, Kurt." 

"We're going bowling!" Kurt protests, while Blaine stays silent. 

"Okay." Burt steps from the car, watching as Blaine climbs into the front, and they drive away. "Bowling my ass," he grumbles, before retreating back inside. 

*

"Another?"

"What the hell was that?" Blaine asks, trying not to choke. 

"A jäger bomb." 

"Can't I just have beer?" 

"Beer's no fun!" Kurt calls over the loud music. "One more, go on." 

"One," Blaine agrees. 

After his fifth the room is spinning and by the time he's followed it up with two beers, he feels decidedly unsteady on his feet, but also invincible, as if he can say and do anything. Kurt, who is well used to heavy drinking, and knows how to pace himself, looks on in amusement as Blaine leans on the bar and gives the guy next to him a sloppy grin. "I wanna fuck you." 

"Hey!" Kurt says sharply, suddenly not finding the situation funny in the slightest. "Sorry," he tells the guy. "He's wasted." Hauling Blaine to his feet, he pulls him into the corner where it's slightly easier to be heard. "That better have been aimed at me, or you're in trouble." 

"S'makes no difference," Blaine slurs, wobbling unsteadily. "Cause you an me...we not together. Can fuck who I want to fuck." 

"You dare, Blaine," Kurt growls. "You dare, and I will walk away and you won't ever see me again." 

"Gonna fuck Jackson," Blaine giggles, and then his legs give out and he slides to the floor. 

"I'm leaving," Kurt announces, and strides from the club, leaving Blaine sitting on the floor alone. 

He doesn't know how much time passes, but suddenly the man from the bar is standing over him, yelling about him being queer, and how he should punch his lights out, and suddenly he feels very sick. He can't even think about getting to his feet, but then two other guys appear, and Blaine knows he has to move or get hit. 

Kurt reappears in the nick of time, hauling him to his feet and apologizing for the behavior of his brother, politely explaining that he's never had alcohol before. With the men begrudgingly placated, Kurt backs them away and outside. 

"Okay. Come on. Have some water." 

"Dun feel so good, Kurt," Blaine moans, as he weaves across the parking lot toward a car that doesn't belong to them. "Take me home." 

"No, no, come on. You'll be okay, really. Drink some water and get some air, then this gross feeling will wear off and you'll sober up a little." 

"Don't leave me, okay?" Blaine says, as he starts to panic. "I dun know where I'm at." 

"I'm not leaving you," Kurt says calmly, and he gently steers Blaine to the edge of the parking lot, where he can sit down on the hard ground. 

"Not ever?" 

"Not ever." 

Blaine sips slowly at the water, and gradually starts to appreciate the cold wind on his face while Kurt rubs small circles on his back. "Any better?" 

"I'm mean to you,” Blaine moans, holding his head in his hands. “So mean.”

"No you're not. No more than I deserve, anyway." 

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?" 

"I'm totally crazy over you, y'know. Like when you're not here, I cry for you, and I miss you in my heart." 

"Oh Blaine." Kurt presses a kiss to his temple, and hugs him tight. "I feel the same. Always. My heart aches when I'm not near you." 

"Why do you do it then? Not calling and stuffs?" 

"Because I'm scared of making this real. I want so much from you, I want to give you so much in return but..." 

"I want it to be real," Blaine says, as he sits up straight and looks at him. "I wanna be with you. I wanna go to college in New York and see you every day." 

"How drunk are you?" 

"Very a lot. Why?" 

"Because you've just said what I dream of hearing you say," Kurt admits. 

"See you every day?" 

"You, at college in New York. That's what I want more than anything. What I've always wanted." 

"Oh." Blaine sits staring into space for a moment, while Kurt panics, thinking he's revealed too much. "Wanna know what I want?" 

"What?" 

"I wanna daaaance!" 

Kurt bursts out laughing at the way Blaine rises to his feet, obviously now appreciating the buzz from the alcohol as he starts twirling around in the middle of the parking lot. "Okay, my drunken ball of sunshine. Let's dance. But we're going to Scandals. That way if you hit on anyone who isn't me, at least they're not gonna try and kill you." 

Scandals is better. They both feel more relaxed, and Kurt has a few more drinks while Blaine steadily nurses one more beer until they hit the dance floor. They dance for hours, laughing, having fun, and generally enjoying being in each other's company. It's amazing for Blaine, to be in a place where he can be so open and honest in his affections and not have to worry about other people's reactions. Kurt seems happy with the whole thing too; in fact, it is Kurt who initiates the kissing as they sway to the music, and then, when the beat picks up, turns to grind suggestively against Blaine's groin. 

"This is where we first met!" Blaine calls, as he tugs Kurt back until he rests flush against his chest. 

"Hmm, we might have to alter that story for the kids!" Kurt giggles, then giggles some more when Blaine doesn't seem the least bit alarmed by his slip up. 

"Yeah, wouldn't be the best first meeting story," he laughs. "Holy shit though, the things I wanted to do to you." His breath comes warm in Kurt's ear, as he slides one firm hand across his stomach, his fingers just dipping slightly below the waistband of Kurt's pants. "The things I still want to do." 

Kurt spins in his arms, coming to rest with their foreheads touching and his arms draped over Blaine's shoulders. "Is Blaine Anderson a horny drunk?" he teases, and in the middle of the dance floor, Blaine reaches for his hand, taking it and resting it over his groin where Kurt can feel he's half hard already. 

"Yes," Blaine answers, encouraging Kurt to squeeze softly. "I want you." 

"Let's go." 

They find a cab, on the basis that Kurt can barely walk in a straight line, much less operate a car, and ride home in silence, their fingers just grazing together as they rest on the back seat. Blaine flings a handful of bills at the driver and assumes it covers the fare as he drives away, and they run up the driveway and into the house. 

"Hello!" Blaine calls loudly. "Burt! Hello!" and then suddenly Kurt's hand clamps over his mouth. 

"Shh!" he laughs. "It's nearly two thirty. C'mon, let's go to your room." 

Kurt wastes no time in dropping to his knees in front of Blaine, his eyes locked on him, as he fiddles with his belt buckle, but Blaine stops him before he goes any further. "I wanted..." he says, smacking his ass for effect. "Yeah?" 

"Oh sweetie," Kurt says kindly, as he stands and gently cups his cheek. "You are so incredibly drunk right now. It's really not a good idea, trust me. I want to, I really do, but I'd rather we were both sober. I don't want you to ever regret it."

"I won't regret it."

"You might, in the morning, and I'd hate that. I regret my first time, in fact I try not to think about it at all if I can help it, and I don't want that for you too." 

"Kurt?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I don't regret anything with you. I do feel a little bit sick though," he muses, as he seems to sway on the spot. 

"Okay. Do we need to get you in the bathroom?" 

"Um...yeah. I think I might..." 

Kurt gives an almighty shove and Blaine manages to get into the bathroom just in time, but he throws up half in the sink and half on the walls and floor before he finally reaches the toilet where he hurls again and again until his stomach is empty. 

"Mess," he moans weakly. "I made a mess." 

"Oh, you really did," Kurt groans as he takes in the hideous state of the bathroom and Blaine's clothes. "Let's get those clothes off and get you in the shower." 

The next part is vague for Blaine, but he is slightly aware of Kurt tucking him into bed and kissing him softly, and then, much later it seems, he feels his arms around him as he settles down to sleep once more. 

*

"Get up!" 

The loud boom of Burt Hummel has Blaine and Kurt slowly coming around, and the first thing Blaine is aware of is the searing pain in his head. 

"Both of you. Up! Now!" 

"Go away dad," Kurt moans, spooning protectively around Blaine. 

"No I won't. Sit up, I want to talk to you. And you, Blaine." 

Blaine has never heard Burt angry at him before, so despite the pain he sits, not daring to look at him. 

"So bowling suddenly turns into a night of partying, huh?" 

He's met with a resounding silence from both as they sit side by side, staring at the duvet, so he huffs and carries on. "Kurt, you're nearing thirty. You're old enough to know better, and you," he says, turning to Blaine. "You're not even old enough to drink. You might think you're living here without parents, but if you want me to call you my son then you accept the rough with the smooth. I owe it to your mom to look out for you, Blaine, which is why you're now grounded for a week."

Blaine says nothing, only gives a small nod and accepts his lenient punishment, while Kurt is livid. "What?! You can't ground him! He didn't do anything wrong!" 

"I disagree," Burt says evenly. "He’s seventeen and went out drinking until two thirty in the morning. I wouldn't have so much of a problem if he had kept it to a couple of beers, but judging by the way he staggered up the driveway and yelled his hello when he came home, I'm guessing he was pretty wasted. I'm sorry, Blaine, but you are underage, and even if you were of age, I'd expect better from you." 

"I'm really sorry," Blaine says meekly. "It wasn't Kurt's idea though, if you were thinking that," he says quietly. "I wanted to show that I could cut loose and have fun, that's all." 

"You can do that without drowning yourself in booze," Burt snaps. "And as for this," he says, gesturing between them. "I'm not happy with this at all. Kurt, I don't think you're in any position to be in a relationship, and Blaine, it's your senior year, you need to be busy with work and studying, not chasing around after this lothario." 

"And you're not in any position to pass comment or judgement," Kurt snaps. "Blaine and I are taking things at our own pace, and not anyone else's. For now, that just involves seeing how things go when I'm back in Ohio. I'll be home again soon for Thanksgiving, then Christmas and New Year, so it gives us a good chance to figure it all out. We're both on the same page with all this, so I'd thank you to kindly butt out. If we weren't both living here, you wouldn't have this issue." 

"No, I wouldn't, because I'd tell Blaine he wasn't to see someone like you, and I'd stay out of your business because you bite my head off." 

"Like me? What does that mean, huh? Yes, I know I've hurt him but we've discussed all that. I'm not gonna have you sit there and put me down, dad. I'm a good person." 

"You are," Burt sighs, and he comes over to the edge of the bed to pull a stiff and unyielding Kurt into his arms. "You really are. I want to see that side of you all the time and then maybe I'd be happier. I'm sorry if it seems like I'm putting you down, but I can't pretend to approve of the way you treat Blaine all the time." 

"I told you, I'm working on it," he grumbles into his dad's shoulder. 

"Okay. Well, I'll leave you two to work on it, or get some more sleep, whatever," he says with a laugh. "I've said what I needed to say. I'll catch you later." 

Once his door closes, Blaine lies back on the bed and throws an arm over his eyes. "I wanna blame you for leading me astray," he says, his voice thick and rasping. "But I had so much fun." 

"Me too," Kurt says, but he says it with such a sad laugh that Blaine moves his arm to look up at him. 

"You sure about that?" 

"Yeah, I just..." He pauses, rubbing a hand over his face before sliding down on the pillows to face Blaine. "I wish he wouldn't treat me like that. He makes me feel like a failure." 

"Oh Kurt. No, no," Blaine urges, gently taking his hand and kissing it. "You shouldn’t feel that way. You know your dad. He's a little gruff, maybe, but he's so proud of you, really. You should hear the way he talks about you when you're not here."

"Really? Cause all I ever hear is how bad an influence I am on you, and you're to stay away from me...I dunno. I don't think he'll ever be okay with it. He thinks you're settling, that you deserve someone better. Maybe he's right." 

"If he thinks that, then he's wrong," Blaine says firmly. "But he doesn't think that, anyway. He's reluctant, maybe, but can you blame him? He knows and I know that how you’ve been acting isn't how you really are, in here," he says, resting his hand on Kurt's heart. "I'm not settling for anything or anyone, Kurt. We agreed to just work it out slowly, and that's what I want to do. Don't feel pressured by other people, please, because that's what makes you run away. Focus on what you want, and everyone else be damned." 

"The thing is," Kurt sighs, pausing to kiss into Blaine's hair. "I think my dad thinks I'm gonna regress into my seventeen year old self, and that's just not gonna happen. Yes, I'm changing, or I'd like to hope I am, anyway, and I'm working hard on becoming a better person, but I'm never gonna be that kid who sits at home every night and doesn't talk back." 

"Who says you have to be?" 

"That was eleven years ago, for a start," he cries. "I like dancing and having fun. I like standing up for myself and giving my opinion. When I got called to interview for that job, I knew I never would have done it if it hadn't been for the confidence I'd gained during my crazy years." 

"So, you had a few wild years, so what?" Blaine asks, playing with Kurt's hair. "You know, I think you need to talk to him about this. Come clean, and tell him exactly what's what." 

"No. I told you, he'd be so disappointed." 

"He wouldn't, though," Blaine urges. "He would be a little shocked maybe, but once he heard about how you're trying to get through it all, he'd be so happy and supportive. Please, Kurt, talk to him." 

"Maybe. But not today," he says, and Blaine settles on his back in despair. "Only because I wanna be with you instead," Kurt adds, propping himself up on one elbow by Blaine's side. 

"Yeah, well, I have a bathroom to clean," Blaine moans, sliding out from underneath him. "Cause, I really need to use it, and...oh!" He pulls up short when he turns the light on in his sparkling clean bathroom. Nothing is out of place, in fact, it's cleaner than Blaine himself usually keeps it. "Did you...?" he asks, turning to Kurt, who bites his lip bashfully. "Cause I threw up, didn't I?" 

"Yes, I cleaned, and yes, you threw up. Everywhere." 

"You cleaned my puke?" Blaine asks in surprise, then clutches his hands over his heart. "Aw baby, you cleaned my puke!" 

"Shut up." 

"That's true love." 

"Call it whatever you want, I'll deny it for all eternity." 

Blaine laughs, stepping into the bathroom with an enormous grin on his face. "Whatever! I'm gonna pee, then come and kiss you senseless." 

"Just so you know," Kurt starts, when Blaine returns. "You also tried to proposition me for sex, and while I do want to, I want it to be when it's just us alone and when we're both sober." 

"Oh I agree," Blaine laughs, settling on top of Kurt, and raking his fingers through his hair. "I do want you though." Dipping his head down, he gently kisses him, letting his lips linger in the same spot before he opens his mouth wider and lets his tongue trace gently over Kurt's lips, pulling back to tug softly on his lower lip. "And I meant what I said last night." 

"Which part, Blaine?" Kurt teases. "There were many pearls of wisdom from you during the course of the evening." 

"Yeah, okay." Blaine ducks his head with a shy laugh before looking back up. "I would like to get into a New York college," he says nervously. "So we can see each other more, if that's what we decide to do." 

"Blaine, I..."

"I don't mean live together," he adds hurriedly. "Because that would just be crazy right now, and destroy everything. I just mean I'd be there, in the same city as you, and we could...date, I guess. If you wanted." 

"I do want that, yes," Kurt says immediately. "I meant what I said last night, too. It's all I've been waiting for you to say." 

"So, does that mean we're...."

"Seeing how things go," Kurt fills in quickly, before Blaine can apply the pressure. He watches as a brief frown shadows his face, but then Blaine is smiling again. 

"Okay. So I'm still allowed to date Jackson if...."

"I will kick you in the balls if you dare finish that sentence," Kurt snaps, his features clouding with anger, but Blaine only laughs, satisfied with how Kurt views things between them. He might not be prepared to give it a title, but Blaine knows that what Kurt really wants is a relationship. 

"He's sweet, though." 

"Does he let you come on his face, though?" 

"What? Ew! No! I've never even kissed the guy!" 

"Ha!" Triumphant, Kurt rolls them over, pinning Blaine's wrists above his head. "I win." 

"Maybe this time," Blaine concedes, happily taking a kiss as consolation. "Please let me come on your face." 

Kurt leans down again, kissing along Blaine's jaw, until he reaches his ear. "Only if you lick it clean." 

Blaine whimpers, and arches up, already hardening in his pajamas. "Yes," he gasps, as Kurt runs a hand over his bulge. "Oh god yes." 

"Breakfast!" 

They both groan, falling back against the pillows in defeat. "I swear he does it on purpose," Kurt moans, though he can't help but laugh. "Come on. Let's go eat." 

* 

Burt drives to the airport, declaring Blaine would still be unfit to drive, and he grumbles all the way about how he feels like a chauffeur with both Kurt and Blaine sitting in the back, but neither of them care. 

“I’ll call...”

“Don’t.” Blaine cuts Kurt off abruptly, before he can continue. “Please don’t make promises you can’t keep. I’ll see you at Thanksgiving, and that’s enough for now.”

“But...”

“Please, Kurt. It’s fine, really. I’m not expecting you to call but if you say you will and then you don’t, I’ll be disappointed so let’s just leave it be.”

“Okay.” 

They fall silent, looking out opposite windows, but Kurt finds Blaine’s hand and holds it tight, his thumb smoothing over the back, until they arrive at the airport. 

“I had the best time,” Kurt suddenly blurts, while his dad takes his bag from the trunk. “Watching you perform on that stage, our night out...all of it, and possibly...especially, our stolen bathroom moment. I’ll sleep on the flight for sure.”

“Is your eye okay?” Blaine whispers, very aware of Burt loitering by his door. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t...well, I didn’t know I could shoot that far.” 

They laugh together, and Blaine thinks there’s possibly nothing better, until a sharp rapping on the window reminds him of Kurt’s imminent departure. 

“My eye is fine,” Kurt says with a smile. “And you are beautiful, you know that? On your knees, lying next to me, or staggering around a parking lot completely wasted. You’re beautiful.” He leans forward, and kisses Blaine gently, hoping his lips tell him all the words he’s left unsaid. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Okay,” he says with forced brightness to his dad, as he gets out of the car. “Thanksgiving then.”

“Kurt, just before you go; I was maybe a bit hard on you earlier, and I apologize. I am proud of you, really, and I’m over the damn moon with your new job. I’m sorry I didn’t realize the old one was so bad.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Kurt says briskly. 

“I love you, son. I’m eternally grateful for Blaine coming into our lives, but you’re my baby.”

“Oh god. Here we go.”

“No, no, just...hear me out. Sometimes I know it sounds like I’m being mean to you, but really, it’s not that. It’s more... well, I’m not gonna hide that I don’t think you should be with Blaine right now. I don’t think that’s good for either of you. It’s more that I can see you’re taking steps to becoming this wonderful young man, and I don’t want you to lose all that because you and Blaine spend years doing some kind of dance which won’t have a happy ending.”

“You think we won’t have a happy ending?” Kurt asks, shocked at how much that hurts. 

“I didn’t say that, son. I want you to, believe me, but he’s seventeen and still growing and you’re changing your whole lifestyle...I hope you can make it, buddy, I really do, but I think the only way you’re going to do that is to keep away from each other for a while.” 

Kurt sighs and picks up his bag, hugging his dad and kissing his cheek. “I don’t think I can though, dad. Not this time.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A rough couple of chapters ahead. I know some of you like to be forewarned. For those who prefer to wait, I'd suggest you pick it up again when chapter 29 is posted on Wednesday.   
> Thank you again for your support and lovely reviews :)

Two weeks later, when Blaine is just leaving math, his phone starts to ring. 

"Kurt?" he answers frantically. "What's happened? Is Burt okay? I'm leaving! I'm coming now, whatever it is."

"Hey!" Kurt laughs. "Calm down. Dad's fine, as far as I know. Presumably you saw him this morning?"

"Yes, and he was good, but why are you calling? Why...why would you call? What's wrong? Are you in trouble?" 

"Nothing's wrong!" Kurt says, beginning to lose his temper. "I'm calling because I miss you, and I wanted to hear your voice." 

Blaine stops dead in the hallway, ignoring the protests of the students who crash into him or have to sidestep around him. "Are you kidding me? Is this a joke?" 

"Oh forget it, Blaine," Kurt snaps, as he walks down the street toward the coffee shop for his shift. "I won't bother in future." 

Blaine tries calling back immediately, but there is no answer, so he's left in a state of panic all day and finds himself unable to concentrate on anything. 

"Hey, Blaine!" Sam calls after school. "Where you going? Glee club on a Monday, man!"

"Yeah...um...not today," Blaine answers, shaking his head as he walks away. "I've gotta...yeah." 

He tries Kurt's phone repeatedly on the way home, even though it's hardly safe to do so, and keeps it glued to his ear once he's inside the house even when using the bathroom, but it's obviously switched off, going straight to voicemail each time. Blaine leaves three messages, apologetic and more desperate sounding each time, but Kurt doesn't return any of his calls. 

He doesn't dare tell Burt about this turn of events, knowing he will get the inevitable 'I told you so,' so he claims he has a huge amount of studying to do instead, which isn't a total lie, and he retires to his bedroom early. 

To his surprise, he does manage to get quite a bit done, and heads to bed just before midnight, still with no phone call from Kurt. He is woken suddenly at one thirty, having left his phone on the pillow next to him, and he snatches it up quickly, not even caring what time it is. 

"Kurt? Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to put you down like that, and I just...." 

"Why, Blaine?" a very obviously drunk Kurt, slurs over the line. "I mean, why? I wanna hear your voice, and you jus' think it's an emergency. D'you really think that badly of me? That I'd only call you if it was urgent?" 

"No, no, I don't think that, and I'm sorry for jumping to that conclusion, it's just we said no phone calls, so..."

"You said that, Blaine. Not me. I always knew I'd try and call you, cause you're there, aren't you?"

"I'm where?" Blaine asks in confusion. "I'm in bed." 

"In my heart!" Kurt yells desperately, and Blaine's gut twists unpleasantly when he realizes Kurt is crying. 

"Oh Kurt..."

"An all you think is that I'd only call you if something's wrong. I thought you.... Dunno," he sighs, forgetting his train of thought. "Dunno." 

"Kurt? You're in my heart too you know, and if you stop and think you'll know that's true. I was just a little surprised, that's all, but that's okay. I'm over that, and I'm sorry for upsetting you. I won't do it again." 

"Promise?" 

"I promise," Blaine says, smiling at how childlike he sounds. "I think you should get some sleep and call me tomorrow, don't you?" 

"You won't think I'm calling to tell you I've died?" 

"Um... No, Kurt, I won't think that," Blaine says with a laugh. "Just call me, okay? Tomorrow?" 

"Blaine?" 

"Yes Kurt?" 

"I really wanna fuck you." 

"Okay," Blaine says, laughing loudly now. He's relieved rather than offended, not wanting Kurt to slur those three little words the first time he decided to say them. "Next time, you can." 

"Really?"

"Really." 

"Score!" 

*

"So, I'm calling you."

"I can tell." 

"Did I wake you up?" 

"No, I'm always up before six on school days. I have to make breakfast and lunch for your dad so..."

"Hey! He's supposed to be taking care of you." 

"No, no, he does," Blaine reassures quickly. "I like to do that for him, that's all." 

"You two are such saps." 

"Yeah, whatever," Blaine smiles, as he finishes dressing. "You're the one who's calling me at six in the morning to hear my voice." 

"I..." Kurt starts, but then trails off and sighs. "Yeah."

"Do you have a hangover?" 

"Not too bad. I'm still in bed. I start my new job today, so..."

"Marie Claire? Kurt! Why didn't you say something?" 

"I just did." 

"Before, I mean. Ugh. Just...gimme your address." 

"No way." 

"I'm not gonna show up there, am I? I've never set foot on a plane. Just....please." 

"Why?" 

"Please?" 

"Fine." Kurt gives his address reluctantly, then rolls over onto his side, stretching lazily. "So, I kinda wish you were here with me." 

"You do? Aw. Except I'd be getting ready for school, and driving you crazy." 

"Oh, you'd be driving me crazy," Kurt laughs, his voice still rough with sleep, "but you'd be naked, and underneath me." 

Blaine sighs, picking up his books, and piling them into his school bag. "Kurt." 

"What? Humor me here. Tell me what you want me to do to you, next time we're alone." 

"Kurt, don't turn this sexual," Blaine sighs. "Please." 

"Why not?" 

"Because....that makes me feel like it's all I'm worth to you." 

"You know that's not true," Kurt snaps. "But I can't help it if I wake up horny." 

"But....I do too," Blaine says, lowering his voice, even though he's alone in his room. "I just thought this phone call was more about us, y'know? Not just the physical side, but more the I miss you and want to be in your arms side." 

"I miss you and want to be in your ass." 

"Kurt!" Blaine admonishes. "Okay. I'm gonna go, because this isn't..."

"Come on, Blaine," Kurt coaxes. "Get me off quickly and then I'll leave you alone, I promise." 

"No!" Picking up his school bag, Blaine huffs his frustration as he stamps up the stairs into the kitchen. "I'm not about to get you off over the phone," he mutters, his face flaming. "I'm nowhere near that stage of comfortable yet. I mean, it's great that we're obviously together now, but..."

"Woah! Hold up cowboy. Together?" 

Blaine stops dead, his blood running cold. "Well, what else are we?" 

"I dunno," Kurt says, sitting up and rubbing at his head. "Fuck buddies, friends with benefits...I don't know…..not boyfriends. That doesn't work for us, does it?" 

"I don't know, Kurt," Blaine snaps. "You only gave it two weeks. How are we ever gonna know if we don't try?" 

"I like how things are now." 

"Well I don't," Blaine says loudly. "I mean, I do, but I'm not about to let it carry on if all I am to you is a fuck buddy. You make out like you're in love with me one minute, then the next minute you're calling this friends with benefits? It makes no sense, Kurt." 

"I've never once said I'm in love with you!" 

"No," Blaine says sadly. "You haven't. I can't do this anymore, Kurt. You know, you might just wanna take a long hard look at this mess you call your life because...because...well, because right now I don't want to be a part of it. I'm just gonna... I'll talk with you soon." 

The line goes dead, leaving Kurt to fall back on his bed in frustration and wonder why he always fucks everything up. 

He has no more contact with Blaine until Thanksgiving. When he arrives at Columbus airport late on Wednesday night he can't hide his disappointment when he sees his dad waiting for him and not Blaine, and the excuse Burt gives of Blaine needing to study just doesn't make sense. 

"It's his senior year," Burt points out, as he loads Kurt's bag into the trunk. 

"It's Thanksgiving," Kurt barks, pulling open the passenger door. "He's got four days off from school."

"Yes, but unlike you, he does all his homework the minute he gets it."

"Oh, here we go," Kurt snaps. "Put Kurt down again." 

"Hey, no! That was just a lighthearted joke," Burt explains, clapping a hand on his back. "Really, Kurt, he's studying. He offered to come, but I said I would do it. You'll get time with him, though he tells me nothing is going on between you two, is that right?" 

"Does he tell you everything?" 

"Not everything, Kurt, no. There are some things no father ever wants to know."

"Oh, you're his father now?" 

"Yours, you fool. He talks to me, yes. He needs advice and I'm happy to try and give it, but he doesn't tell me any of the bedroom related stuff, if that's what you're worrying about. I think he talks with his friends about that if he needs to." 

"Well, god knows he doesn't talk to me." 

"He sent you flowers."

"He did." Kurt says it with a sigh, but he smiles out the window as he thinks back to when he had arrived home, head swimming with information after his first day at Marie Claire. He had been tired, hungry, and still pissed off about how his phone call with Blaine had turned out; then he unlocked his door. 

His tiny apartment had been filled with a bright fall display. Orange, red, yellow and white roses, amazing lilies, chrysanthemums and baby's breath were all arranged in an assortment of vases, plastic bottles, and glass jars, and Santana had placed a single yellow rose in a wine bottle right next to his bed, along with the card from a local florist, which read, "To Kurt, good luck on your first day. I'm proud of you. Love, Blaine." 

It had pained him that it didn't say more.

Santana had found him, crying and clutching the now crushed rose to his chest, and he struggled to explain the events of the morning. Of course, she had told him to call Blaine and thank him, and to apologize for the way he had been during their call. She pointed out exactly what he already knew, which was that all he really wanted was a relationship with Blaine, but that was besides the point. The point, which everyone seemed to keep missing, was that Kurt Hummel wasn't made for relationships. For whatever reason, the force that had created him, be it God or some other being, had decided that Kurt Hummel was undeserving of love. It was surely up to him, therefore, to make sure that Blaine didn't fall in love with him, and that he transferred his affections to someone else. 

He was at the bottom of a wine bottle by this point, and Santana didn't have the energy for any further discussion, though she knew without ever having met him that it was too late already; Blaine was head over heels for Kurt, and no amount of protestations from either party would convince her otherwise. 

"Did you thank him?" 

Kurt stirs out of his daydream, turning to face his dad. "Huh?" 

"For the flowers. Did you thank him?" 

"Oh. Uh...no. I will, though. Tonight." 

"I hope that means a vocal thanks and not what it sounds like." 

"Yeah, no....yeah, vocally. I can't...I can't see that it's gonna get physical this time around." 

"Well that's good, isn't it? Give yourselves a chance to be friends without complicating it all." 

"Yeah," Kurt says, surprised at how much he likes that idea. "Yeah, that could work." 

*

"Thank you for the flowers." 

Blaine looks up from his desk, and Kurt silently curses him for needing glasses to study, because it makes him want things that he had resolved not to want this time around. He looks stunning. Clearly he's showered earlier in the evening, because his hair is soft with no trace of gel, meaning it curls softly over his ears, and he's wearing gray sweats and a red hoodie, which shouldn't look nearly as good on him as it does.

"Oh, hey, you're back. And you're welcome," Blaine smiles. 

Why is he always so nice? Kurt wonders. Why doesn't he yell in Kurt's face? Why doesn't he call him out on not thanking him for a gift which must've cost nearly a hundred dollars? Why doesn't he order him from his room, and demand he never speaks to him again? More to the point, if Kurt can recognize that's what he deserves, why does he just stand there, flustered? Why doesn't he beg for Blaine's forgiveness, and offer an apology? 

"Well," Kurt says with a shrug. "Just thought I'd say it, you know, because you were probably wondering if they'd arrived, since it was four weeks ago now." 

"I knew they'd arrived," Blaine says with a shrug. "I called the florist the next day to check. She said she delivered them herself, and handed them to a Latina girl, who I'm guessing was Santana." 

"Oh." 

"Yeah, so.....how did it go? Or how is it going?" 

"Good," Kurt says with a nod, still standing awkwardly at the bottom of the stairs. "It's still a bit surreal, you know? I work all day on Wednesday and Friday, but really they're not bothered by how many hours I put in, as long as the work gets done. The girls in the office are nice. There's only one other male writer though, and surprise surprise he's gay too." 

"Don't you work from home?" 

"I could, and I'd prefer to, but my laptop is so old now; I got it in my second year of college, so..." 

"Ancient," Blaine offers, and Kurt laughs. 

"Yeah. I'm better off in the office, where I can just write my stuff and go home. I'm covering a fashion show next week, for the magazine too, as opposed to just online." 

He says it in such an offhanded manner, that anyone else could be mistaken for thinking Kurt doesn't care, but Blaine catches on to the tiniest hint of pride in his voice.

"That's amazing! I mean, they must think you're good, right? If they're trusting you to do that?" 

"I guess," Kurt shrugs, and again, Blaine understands how thrilled he really is. "I mean, they're only sending me and a photographer, so…..it's nothing big though." 

"It's a fashion show, Kurt, and one which they think is important enough to go in their magazine. I don't see why you have to make out like it doesn't matter. It's okay to show enthusiasm for things, you know. It's alright to feel happy and proud, and to let people see that side of you." 

"I'm going out," Kurt announces, and Blaine sighs, knowing he's pushed too far once again. "You wanna come?"

"No, seeing as it's eleven now, and Thanksgiving’s tomorrow. Why don't we play a game instead? I'm sure your dad will be up for a bit of poker, if we ask him." 

"I'm not wasting valuable drinking time playing poker," Kurt snaps, and storms back up the stairs, not stopping until he's in his room.

No one says a word when he pulls a chair up to the dining room table twenty minutes later, Burt just slides a beer across to him and deals him into the game of poker while Blaine gives him a handful of pistachios, their usual substitute for money in the game. 

It is midway through the game when Kurt suddenly tells his dad about the fashion show, and Burt initially looks confused, wondering why Kurt is telling him, and then it suddenly hits him; he's proud. Proud of himself, and all he's accomplishing in his new job. 

"That's great," Burt grins, while Blaine looks on in silence. "You like it then?" 

"Yeah. I like that they have faith in me, you know? This is the biggest thing I've ever done, and it might seem small to most people, but to me it's huge." 

"I think it's huge," Blaine says matter of factly, as he deals another hand of cards. "Really big." 

He doesn't notice the silence, until he looks up and sees Burt and Kurt both staring at him, the hint of a smile on both their faces. 

"What?"

"Think about it, sunshine," Burt says with a laugh. 

"I don't get it," Blaine says, as he picks up his cards. "Kurt said it's huge, and I agreed. It is! It's….oh!" His eyes go wide, as Kurt and his dad burst into raucous laughter, and Blaine blushes hard. "You two! You know I didn't mean….oh gosh. Now I'm embarrassed." 

"I can tell," Burt chuckles. "I could cook toast on ya." 

"It's no wonder Kurt is so..."

"So what?" Burt asks with a look, but Blaine backs down. 

"Nothing. Let's play. Last round." 

*

Something seems to have lightened with their evening discussion, and the next day is relaxed and fun as they all cook a Thanksgiving feast together. If Blaine and Kurt keep having moments, where one might glance at the other, and both feel the sudden shock and pull of attraction and deep longing, neither chooses to mention it. In an unspoken agreement they purposely avoid any situation where they might be left alone, even if that does involve one of them leaving the room whenever Burt goes to the bathroom, and by the time night falls, both have managed to convince themselves that they work fine as friends slash brothers, and that there really isn't any unresolved passion between them at all.

Saturday is spent with a completely over enthusiastic Burt as they put the finishing touches on Bessie, which takes a solid six hours, from nine until three, but boy is she worth it. 

"My baby girl!" Burt cries triumphantly, when he finishes shining the last spot. The car stands gleaming, an exact replica of the photo pinned on the board in the garage, and the result of eighteen months of love and devotion from Burt and Blaine. "We did it, boys! We did it." 

"Oh, you two did it, really," Kurt says, but he lets Burt pull them all into a hug anyway, and finds himself overcome with emotion as his dad shamelessly wipes away a tear and walks away to find a tissue.

"Not at all," Blaine counters. "There's no way we could've done it without you as well. Look at her," he says proudly, sounding just like a mini Burt. "Have you ever seen anything more beautiful?" 

"Yeah, I have," Kurt says softly, and Blaine turns quickly, not having noticed that they are alone. "But you know that, don't you?" 

"I don't," Blaine says quietly, looking down at the ground. "Cause I think that if you felt that way about me, you wouldn't want anyone else to have me." 

"I don't want anyone else to have you," Kurt says with a frown. "If anyone dares to ask you out, I'm gonna hunt them down." 

"You can't have it both ways, Kurt. You can't dictate that I'm not allowed to date anyone, claim I'm beautiful, and then refuse to commit to me. That's not how life works." 

"Yeah, I know," Kurt says with a sigh, and he dares to step closer, happy when Blaine doesn't back away. "You're my everything, Blaine, and that scares me." 

"Why, though? That shouldn't scare you, Kurt. That should make you happy."

"It doesn't, because I don't think I'm good enough to be your everything in return." He looks up anyway, his eyes searching into Blaine's, silently challenging him to close the gap between them. 

"Okay! Who wants to take her out for a spin? Blaine?" 

They pull back at the sound of Burt's voice, and Blaine blinks and shakes his head. "Uh...no, no, I don't think I should be the first to drive her." 

"Kurt, then?" 

"No dad, you should be first," a still stunned Kurt murmurs. "She uh...she's your baby." 

"You're my baby," Burt tells him, ruffling his hair as he walks past, "and you're my boy," he adds to Blaine. "Okay. Come on then, let's see how she runs." 

It might be November, and it might be bitterly cold, but Bessie's roof is rolled back as the three squash on the front bench seat and Burt edges her carefully out of the garage. He drives incredibly slowly down their road, but even so, all three have wide grins on their faces, and Kurt and Blaine hold their hands high above their heads as if on a roller coaster. 

"This is so cool!" Blaine laughs, as Burt turns the corner at the bottom of the road, and picks up his speed to match the rest of the traffic. 

"Ahhh! I love this damn car!" Burt calls to them, and Blaine grins when Kurt throws his head back and laughs. He's never felt so free and happy, and he doesn't think he's ever seen Kurt this way either, prompting him to take his hand in his, and offer a smile.

"Dad this is amazing!" Kurt cries. "Listen to her! She purrs like a cat." 

"She's sensational," Burt agrees, as he pulls into a drug store parking lot, and kills the engine. Immediately, people stop to admire the beautifully sleek classic car. "Okay, who's next?" 

"Blaine."

"Kurt." 

"Well whoever. You two decide." 

"Blaine can." 

"No, you," Blaine insists, pressing the key into Kurt's hand. "Age before beauty, and all that." 

"Funny," Kurt laughs, but takes the key anyway, and gestures for Blaine to sit in the middle. "C'mere," he says, holding his arm out for Blaine to snuggle in, which he finds himself doing willingly, thrilled to feel the solid press of Kurt's body against him once again. 

"Oh, that's it. I'm in back," Burt declares, rolling his eyes. 

"Oh no, Burt, you don't have to." 

"Yeah he does." 

"Kurt!" 

"I don't mind, kid," Burt laughs, patting the top of his head, which is covered by a beanie. "If Kurt wants to cuddle, then who am I to stop him?" 

"Shut up," Kurt moans, as he starts the engine. "I do not want to cuddle, it's just that this is how a car like Bessie is supposed to be driven, that's all, by an adorable young couple such as us."

"Oh, so you're a couple now?" Burt asks, and Blaine freezes rigid by Kurt's side. 

"No, we are not," Kurt snaps. "I was just making a point, that's all. Bessie is a couples car." 

"Ah, I see," Burt calls, as Kurt pulls out onto the main road. "We'd best all get out and walk then." 

Burt's gentle teasing relaxes Blaine, who manages to melt into Kurt's side, and is disappointed when he pulls over after a few blocks to let him drive. He takes over begrudgingly, but is unable to sling his arm casually around Kurt as he did, because he's too terrified he might crash Burt's pride and joy, so he keeps both hands carefully on the wheel all the way home. 

"What did ya think?" Burt cries happily, once Bessie is safely stowed back in the garage. "Isn't she the best?" 

"Yeah, I'll let you have that," Kurt smiles, smoothing his hand over Bessie's now closed roof. "She's a damn fine car. Better than Blaine's heap of junk, that's for sure." 

"Yeah, yeah," Blaine laughs, and he lets his hand slide gently around Kurt's waist as he passes. "Like I said before, you didn't seem to mind it the first time we met." 

"Blaine! My dad is here!" 

"Sorry," Blaine says with a blush.

"Ha!" Burt cries, clapping him on the back. "Don't worry about me, kid. I thought it was a good comeback." 

*  
Blaine doesn't know what possesses him to creep quietly up the stairs just after midnight. He only knows that he can't let Kurt go back to New York without feeling his arms properly around him once more. Kurt doesn't seem surprised by his arrival either, pulling the door open before getting right back into bed, holding the duvet back for Blaine to join him. 

They can sense one another's need, and fall willingly into an embrace, with Blaine sighing contentedly when his head fits perfectly into the crook of Kurt's neck, and his arms come around him. Kurt lies on his back, loving the feel of Blaine's hand up under his pajama top, and smoothing over his side. He rests his chin on the top of his head and closes his eyes, listening to the sound of Blaine's contented breathing.

When he wakes, the room is tinged a light gray with the early morning light, and he notices that neither one of them have moved all night. Snuggling down, he carefully extracts the arm Blaine has been sleeping on and moves onto his side so they are almost nose to nose. He could watch Blaine sleep for hours, the way his mouth is slightly parted and he can see just the hint of his teeth and tongue, the way his eyelashes fan over his cheekbones which makes Kurt smile as it looks for all the world as if he's spent hours gluing false ones in place, and the way his one hand rests in a fist under his chin, the other arm stretched across Kurt, keeping him safe and close. 

Kurt reaches out, tentatively letting his fingers graze over the stubble along Blaine's jaw. So much more the man now than he was when they first met, Kurt realizes. In just a few short months Blaine could be starting out in New York, an idea which thrills yet terrifies Kurt all at once. He knows he wants him there in the same city, where he can see him as much as he wants, but he also knows that at some point a decision will have to be made. Will he keep Blaine as a friend, or a boyfriend? He wants him as a lover, someone he can call whenever he wants, to stay over and satisfy his needs, but he also knows that as much as he tries to keep it casual, he can't. Blaine means too much to him, and when he thinks about keeping it on a friendship level his mind inevitably wanders to images of them in wedding tuxes, or of Blaine holding a tiny baby while Kurt bounces a toddler on his knee, and what the hell was that all about?

Shaking his head, Kurt moves closer, nuzzling in under Blaine's jaw to give him a gentle kiss. For now at least, he'll let his physical needs dictate his actions, and maybe attempt to deal with his head on the flight home. Blaine stirs, his hand moving to Kurt's back, drawing him close. He hums softly in pleasure as Kurt moves to kiss behind his ear, letting his fingers slide into his hair, tangling around his curls. 

"S'nice," Blaine murmurs with a smile, his eyes still closed as Kurt kisses along his jaw. 

"I've missed you." 

"Same," Blaine agrees, then eagerly accepts Kurt's lips on his, immediately opening his mouth, and letting passion cloud his brain for a moment. It feels too right to ever be wrong, too good to feel Kurt's mouth on his, his tongue running over his lips, his body pressing close. 

"Are you sure about this?" Kurt gasps, when the kiss breaks, and he notices how Blaine still doesn't open his eyes when he answers. 

"No, but what the hell." 

"I won't hurt you." 

"I know." 

"And I have condoms." 

"Huh?" Blaine's eyes fly open, and he scoots back, a look of pure panic on his face. "What? What are you...? What?" 

Kurt stares, stunned at the way Blaine has retreated right to the very edge of the bed, and is now staring back at him, with wide, unblinking eyes. "I thought….last time we spoke you said...." 

"Uh....yeah, because I thought we were together! Jesus, Kurt, it's all about the sex with you, isn't it?"

"No! No, it's not like that, honestly. I just...." 

"You just happened to bring condoms home with you? For what, then, if not to fuck me? To fuck someone else?" 

"No! Blaine, please stop saying that. It's not..." 

"It's not just my ass you'd be fucking though, is it?" he cries, standing and hugging his arms around himself. "It's my whole damn head!" He taps his temples, the pain and desperation evident. "It's not even that I don't want to, cause God, do I! But I can't, Kurt, I can't give myself to you like that, and get told we're just friends with benefits. That's not me, and I really wish it wasn't you, either." 

"Screw you, Blaine!" Kurt snarls, his anger masking the hurt and pain he feels. "You're a fucking tease. You blatantly tell me it's on for next time we're together, you come crawling into my bed in the middle of the night, you wake up and immediately kiss me like you're never gonna get enough, and I've supposedly got the wrong impression?"

"Yes! I mean, I know what it looks like, but..." 

"But nothing, you cocktease! You know what? I wasn't ever gonna initiate this, either. I was actually happy with how these four days had turned out. I enjoyed spending time with you, just as us, and not complicating things, but I'm only human, Blaine. When you arrived last night, I wanted to hold you, that's all. I just wanted to feel you in my arms, and to wake up and see you there. It's not about fucking you, you idiot, it's about the two of us making love, and it scares the shit out of me." 

"Oh god, Kurt...." 

"You don't get it, do you?" Kurt screams, tearing at his hair in frustration. "You think this is all about me not wanting to commit to you, about wanting to still play the field and keeping you as a bit on the side. Has it ever once occurred to you that I do want exactly what you want, and maybe even more? That maybe I'm scared to offer my heart fully to you, for fear of it getting trampled on? That maybe, just maybe, I'm so scared of inadvertently hurting you, or getting hurt myself, that I just can't bring myself to do it? I keep trying, Blaine. It's not about a quick fuck, or stealing your virginity, it's about me letting go and giving myself to you as much as I can, and I was prepared to do that, I really was!"

"But why are you so scared, Kurt? Relationships need both parties to show vulnerability." 

"I don't do vulnerable! You don't know shit, anyway." 

"I know I'd never hurt you." 

"You can't say that for sure." 

"Okay, no, maybe I can't, but I do know I'd never hurt you on purpose, and that I'd put everything into being the best boyfriend I could be." 

"So all you need is for me to agree to that, and bam, you'll put out?" 

"Kurt." Blaine rolls his eyes, raking his hand through his hair. "There you go again, using sex as a mask to hide from the real issues. No. Saying we're together does not magically guarantee I'll put out." 

"Fuck off, Blaine. I'm done with this, all of it." 

"Kurt...."

"Get out!" Kurt cries, his embarrassment coming out as a loud yell of anger. "Just go!" 

"Fine. It's all over then, if that's what you want," Blaine says quietly, and walks from the room, closing the door quietly behind him.


	28. Chapter 28

"You're giving him the car?!" Kurt shrieks on Christmas Day. Blaine stares down at the box in his hand, which contains a key to the Buick on a nice leather key ring, and tries to ignore Kurt's indignation. 

He had been nothing short of awful to Blaine since arriving last night, and Blaine, already feeling fragile after getting nothing but a hundred dollars in an envelope from his mom, couldn't take anymore. 

"I can't accept this," Blaine whispers, shaking his head. "It's too much." 

"Here, Kurt," Burt says, tossing him a small package and ignoring Blaine completely. "Open it."

"Oh." Kurt looks down at the same key, picking it up by the key ring. "I see. You're giving us keys to the car. I'm sorry, I got confused." 

"Oh, I'm giving Blaine the car," Burt says with a small smile. "It's just I'm giving it to you, too. Given that you'll both be in New York soon enough, I figured Blaine can use her around Lima for his last few months, and then she can move there with you."

"What?" Kurt yells loudly. "Where the hell am I supposed to keep her? I live in the middle of fucking Brooklyn! And he'll be in dorms somewhere, he won't have anywhere to keep a Buick! What the hell were you thinking?" 

"I was thinking that if you have to share something, you might just learn to get along," Burt barks, while Blaine still stares at the key in his hand. "And you know, if she can't move to New York, then maybe that will just prompt you to come and visit. Anyway, since when do you live in Brooklyn?" 

"We're never gonna get along, so just leave it," Kurt snaps, then turns in his armchair to stare bleakly out the window. 

One look at Burt, who is utterly heartbroken, and Blaine is up off the floor and crossing over to the couch, where he hugs Burt tight. "Thank you," he says quietly, giving his cheek a kiss. "That's the biggest and best gift anyone has ever given me." 

"So, you will accept it?" Burt asks, cheering somewhat. "Cause I want you to have her, really. She's a young guy's car, not made for an old man like me." 

"I'll accept it," Blaine grins, "Yeah. But you have to keep driving her too, okay? I mean, I'll drive her to school and stuff, but running errands on the weekends, things like that, you have to use Bessie, or I'll get mad." 

"Ha! Okay son, you twisted my arm," Burt laughs. 

"Oh, and hey, maybe in the summer, we could take her on a road trip?" Blaine asks excitedly. "Before I go to college?" 

"Sure thing," Burt agrees, slinging an arm around Blaine's shoulders, and crushing him against his shoulder. "Don't be too down about your mom, Blaine. I'm sure she'll call." 

"She's called twice in eight months," Blaine reminds him. "She's emailed three times. I just thought that with it being the holidays, she might have.... She said, didn't she, that she would want me there for the holidays? Not that I wanted to go, but she seems to have conveniently forgotten."

"You've got me," Burt says, ruffling his hair. "I don't know if that counts for much, but you've always got me." 

"Thank you," Blaine says sincerely, forgetting all about Kurt sulking in his armchair. "I don't know if I've ever said this, but I love you, you know?" 

"Oh, so you can say it to him?!" Kurt explodes, practically launching himself from his chair and out of the room. "Fuck you, Blaine Anderson!" 

"Don't," Burt urges, holding Blaine back from going after him. "It's not worth it. He's in a bad place right now." 

"I don't know why," Blaine grumbles, settling back on the couch again. "He was the one who told me to get out on Thanksgiving, and I haven't spoken with him since." 

"He feels like he made a fool of himself," Burt says evenly. "He tried to lay himself on the line for you, but went about it all wrong." 

"You don't know that." 

"I know what you were fighting about," Burt tells Blaine, who immediately tries to hide in a cushion. "Oh hey, I'm not gonna embarrass you, but I do think that you need to try and see this from both sides. I agree with you, you shouldn't be jumping into things like that, but he got confused by your appearance in his bed, I think, and thought maybe you'd changed your mind? I don't know. All I do know is that Kurt would never force you into something you weren't ready for." 

"I know that. I never felt threatened. He told me that was it though, all over." 

"That's for the best," Burt says firmly. "But you do need to make amends with each other, if you're both gonna live under this roof." 

"I'll try," Blaine says begrudgingly, and Burt smiles, knowing that Blaine would do pretty much anything for him. 

"Good boy." 

*

It takes two days but when Burt returns to work Blaine decides to honor his promise, and climbs the stairs to Kurt's room where he's been practically all the time, other than for meals. 

"Kurt?" 

"What?" 

"Can I come in?" 

"No." 

"Okay. Um... I'm going to the mall. My mom gave me some money, and I need some new clothes, so….wanna come with?"

"No, I do not." 

"Fine," Blaine says with a sigh, and walks back down the stairs. 

He grabs his prized Buick key from the bowl in the hall, then sighs and fishes his phone from his pocket as it starts to ring. "Mom?"

"Hey sweetie!" 

Blaine can't help but feel overcome at the sound of his mom's cheerful voice coming over the line, and he sits heavily on the bottom stair, clapping a hand over his mouth. 

"I'm just calling to say Merry Christmas!" Angie Lane continues, and Blaine finds his voice again. 

"Mom, Christmas was two days ago," he says sadly. "Why didn't you call me then?"

Hearing Blaine on the phone, Kurt creeps to the top of the stairs to listen in on his conversation. His dad had told him about the lack of contact Blaine had with his mom, and for that, he really did feel sympathy. He knows how much it would have hurt him, to know his mom was alive and just not caring about him, and he can hear from the crack in Blaine's voice that he feels the same. 

"I'm sorry honey, I was just so busy with Spencer and the boys," Angie tells Blaine, as he swallows back tears. "Did you get the money?" 

"Yeah I did, thanks, but it's not about money, mom. I wanted to see you or something." 

"Blaine, you wouldn't have come if I'd asked." 

"Well, can't you come to Ohio?" Blaine pleads. He's aware of how childlike and small he sounds, but he really doesn't care. Having a man like Burt in his life is wonderful, but right now Blaine feels painfully alone, and he longs for some comfort from somewhere. The pain of knowing Kurt will never be his, the anguish over another Christmas without his dad, followed by the second anniversary of his death and then Blaine's own eighteenth birthday is all proving too much right now. "You could visit for a few days, I know Burt wouldn't mind." 

"I can't, Blaine. I'm sorry." 

Maybe Blaine imagines the hint of genuine remorse in her voice. He thinks he must have, because then she's cheerful again, asking if he had a good Christmas, and if he got any nice gifts. "Yeah. Burt gave me and Kurt the car we've been working on." 

"He gave you the car? Wow! So you and Kurt are still going strong, then?" 

"No, mom, we've never been going strong."

"Oh? I thought you two were....yes, I'm not mistaken," she says, and Blaine almost smiles as he imagines the look of certainty on her face. He can picture her so clearly, and it surprises him how much he misses her. "Your birthday, he came to dinner, and there was a big fuss over you not being able to stay over." 

"Yeah. That was the few short weeks we were actually together," Blaine tells her sadly. "Since then we've been friends, until Thanksgiving, when we had a massive fight. We haven't spoken since. Well, not in a civil manner, anyway." 

"So, Burt gave you both a car? I don't get it." 

"He thinks it might make us get along." 

"Maybe I should have tried that with you and Max." 

"Yeah, no," Blaine says immediately, and he is oddly warmed when she laughs. "That wouldn't ever work." 

"He'd probably use it to run you over." 

This time it's Blaine's turn to laugh, and he realizes he’s actually enjoying this phone call more than he thought he would. 

"Anyway mom, I want to talk to you about college?" 

"Oh, sure sweetie," she says, and to Blaine's surprise, she actually seems interested. "Have you visited anywhere yet?" 

"No, but I'm looking at NYU for mechanical engineering," he starts, then hears the unmistakable yell of Spencer in the background. 

"Angie! Get off the phone! Who you talking to anyway?" 

"I have to go," Angie says quickly. "I'll call soon, okay? Love you baby."

The line goes dead before Blaine can even respond and he sits for a moment, staring at his darkened phone, before heading out to the garage where he sinks into the soft leather of Bessie's seats and tries to pretend that she can hug him like he needs. 

"I need some new jeans." Kurt announces suddenly, climbing in the other side and not passing comment on Blaine's tear stained cheeks. "And someone needs to keep your love of plaid under control. Let's go." 

The mall is busy with people shopping all the holiday sales, and though Blaine and Kurt move from store to store together they are very much apart, going their separate ways until they're ready to leave and move to the next store. Kurt gets his jeans, and Blaine gets one plaid shirt, just to piss Kurt off, along with a pair of loafers and a bow tie. 

"I'm done," he announces, after a couple of hours. "So we can go home whenever." 

"You should get that sweater," Kurt says, nodding toward a chunky gray sweater with red piping in the window of Brooks Brothers. "It says, Blaine, please buy me." 

"It does not," Blaine says with a laugh. "It says, I might be on sale, but that doesn't mean you can afford me. And don't even think about buying it for me," he snaps as an afterthought.

"I'm not about to buy you a gift, Blaine," Kurt snaps back, as he storms away from the store. "Get over yourself." 

"Why don't you like me?" Blaine asks, as he hurries to catch up.

"Shut up, you know I like you." 

"No, I don't. I know you did, but these last few days...well, you've been cold even for you. So, why don't you like me?"

"I like you too much, that's the problem," Kurt mutters, his cheeks flaming as he heads down the escalator.

"You know what to do about it then." 

"Fuck off." 

"Fine." 

They walk along in an angry silence, but Blaine can't help but watch Kurt carefully as they feign interest in looking through DVDs in a store. There's no denying he is stupidly hot, with his perfectly styled hair and immaculate skin. He always dresses well and Blaine swallows hard, when he realizes that though most would think Kurt's jeans are always super tight, he knows he can get his hand down the back of them. 

As they walk from the store Blaine becomes aware of Kurt watching him, and embarrassed at having been caught staring, his voice is unnecessarily harsh. "What?"

"Nothing," Kurt says offhandedly. "It's just that sometimes, you look at me like you want to eat me, that's all."

Blaine leans in, so close to Kurt's ear that his breath tickles. "That's because most of the time, I do." 

Kurt stops dead, stunned, and Blaine laughs and shakes his head. "You can close your mouth, Kurt. It's hardly a surprise."

"No, but you...I...I've never heard you speak that way before." 

"Well look at that, I just did. Come on, let's get coffee." 

"Don't fuck with me," Kurt snaps, the second Blaine sets his peppermint mocha in front of him. "I called you out last time on the cockteasing, now stop." 

"What if I wasn't teasing?" Blaine asks, playing it coy, as he dips a finger in his hot chocolate, and sucks it clean. "What if I'm up for a bit of holiday fun?" 

"Blaine, you're not gonna find the answer to your issues by sucking my cock," Kurt says bluntly, and he knows from the flash of hurt in Blaine's eyes that he's spot on in his statement.

"I..." Blaine starts, but that is as far as he gets before he's accosted from behind by a boy with a head full of blond hair who yells his name at the top of his voice, wraps his arms around Blaine's chest and kisses his cheek warmly. 

"Guess who got back from Kentucky early?"

"Sam!" Blaine cries, and much to Kurt's chagrin, he seems happy to see this moron, getting out of his seat to hug him warmly. "You're back already? That's amazing! We can have New Years together!" 

"Too right, my man! Can't wait! I've missed you." He stops when he sees Kurt glaring at him, and glances at Blaine uncertainly. 

"Oh, uh...Sam, this is Kurt, Kurt, meet Sam." 

"Nice to meet you," Sam says, giving a wave. "Blaine's my boy." 

"He's my boy," Kurt practically growls, standing to square up to him. "We live together. Did he tell you that? Cause we do. We own a car together too, so back the fuck off." 

"Kurt!" Blaine cries in horror, then turns to Sam apologetically. "Sam, really, we do not live together. We do kinda own a car between us, but...oh my God, I'm so sorry." 

"No worries," Sam says amiably. "I know the score." He winks at Blaine and leans in close. "I think it's fair to say he's still hung up on you. I'll call you tomorrow." He doesn't dare hug Blaine goodbye, or acknowledge Kurt in any way, just retreats quickly to leave a seething Blaine to whirl around and confront Kurt. 

"What the hell was that all about?" 

"You know full well." 

"Try me." 

"Maybe....." Kurt starts, then backs down, shaking his head. "Maybe sometimes, I want to eat you too." 

He's surprised when Blaine firmly takes his hand and leads him from the mall, leaving their coffees untouched on the table. The firm command Blaine seems to have on the situation only serves to turn Kurt on more as in total silence, Blaine pins him up against the car in broad daylight and cups his half hard cock, squeezing lightly, before kissing him hard, fast and rough, giving Kurt exactly what he needs. 

He knows he whimpers, but he couldn't care less, because the feel of Blaine firmly gripping his face as he angles his head to deepen the kiss is everything, and he can actually feel his knees starting to give way beneath him. 

"You drive," Blaine demands, pressing the key into Kurt's hand before running around to the other side. 

Kurt isn't entirely sure how he manages to navigate the Buick out of the parking spot, let alone onto the highway. The front bench seat means Blaine can lie across it to reach Kurt's crotch, and he does, his fingers deftly working his fly open and pulling him out of his briefs. 

"Holy shit, Blaine! Don't do this! I'm gonna....oh fuck. Fuck!" 

The car swerves when Blaine sinks his mouth down around Kurt, and he struggles to breathe. "I can't believe this," Kurt is saying, as he tries to pass a truck. "I'm getting sucked off on route thirty one, in the middle of the afternoon. Oh Jesus." 

"Want me to stop?" 

"No," he says firmly, pushing Blaine's head back down. 

"Don't come until we get home," Blaine orders, before he runs his tongue around the head of Kurt's cock, and looks up at him. 

"That's like...twenty minutes!" 

"If you're good, I'll let you watch me masturbate." 

"Holy fuck! Oh God Blaine, I promise I'll be good. I need to see that. Yes. Here, in this car." 

"So be good then," Blaine says cockily, before returning to the task at hand. Kurt is shaking after ten minutes, and struggling to keep his hands on the wheel. 

"I have to come," he cries too loudly in the now very warm car. "I have to!"

"No." 

Blaine pulls back, leaning sideways against the passenger window and unbuttoning his pants. "But you have been good, so...." 

"Blaine! Oh shit. This is like....this is the biggest fantasy of mine," Kurt babbles, trying to watch the road, but wholly distracted by the sight of Blaine wrapping a hand around himself, his breathing coming fast and ragged. "I think of this all the time."

"Do you, Kurt?" Blaine asks, as airily as he can muster. "Does it turn you on?"

"Shit yes. I get off to thoughts of you masturbating, Blaine." 

"I think about you when I do it."

Kurt only responds with some kind of noise, grateful to be getting off the highway at last. "Want me to pull over and finish you off?" 

"No, I want to go home, pin you down on my bed, and suck every last drop from you." 

"I want to suck you though." 

"We can do it at the same time," Blaine murmurs, his head thrown back and eyes closed. "Just hurry up and get home." 

Kurt doesn't speak anymore, just picks up his speed and prays no cops are lurking, because how the hell do you explain two guys speeding through Lima with their dicks out and masturbating furiously?

"Don't come," Blaine reminds him when he notices Kurt touching himself. 

"Wouldn't fucking dare," Kurt mumbles, and finally parks the Buick haphazardly across the end of the driveway, two wheels on the sidewalk. He races from the car, holding his coat over his still open pants and leaves all his bags on the back seat as he unlocks the front door with Blaine close behind him. 

"Fuck...fuck," Kurt cries, dropping his coat and keys on the hall floor, and pinning Blaine to the wall. They kiss fiercely, biting at lips, and practically devouring each other, while they shuck out of their pants and underwear in the middle of the hall. 

"Shirt off," Blaine gasps, walking Kurt backward toward the basement door. "I need you naked."

Kurt obliges happily, and his shirt and vest are left trailing down the basement stairs as he follows Blaine eagerly, who is now lying naked on his bed. He wants to stop and tell him how beautiful he is, and how desperately he wants to be his, but he worries that will make Blaine pull up short and right now, he desperately needs his release. 

So he falls on top of him, his feet bracketing Blaine's head as he leans down to suck on the head of his cock. He feels Blaine gasp and rise up, then a firm hand grips him, and suddenly he's encased in the heat of Blaine's mouth again, and oh, what a feeling it is. 

Neither last long, which is hardly a surprise, and Blaine feels as if he has shattered from the inside out as his orgasm hits and he spills over and over into Kurt's mouth, seemingly never stopping. He gives a muffled cry when Kurt erupts in his mouth, but swallows it all eagerly, his hands reaching up to squeeze Kurt's ass cheeks roughly, almost as if asking for more. Eventually Kurt withdraws, rolling onto his back and panting hard, too exhausted to even form words. 

A good five minutes pass, and then Kurt uses his foot to smooth over Blaine's hair quickly before he rolls off the bed and stands, stretching out the kinks in his back. "I'll be upstairs." 

"Hey! What?" Blaine sits up, pulling his throw across his lap, feeling suddenly vulnerable. "Why are you....?" 

"Well, because that completely should not have happened," Kurt snaps. "Call it a moment of madness, or whatever, but it was a big mistake."

"That's what you think?"

"Not what I think, necessarily, more what you're gonna tell me, when I say nothing has changed between us. I'm still not interested in a relationship with you." 

"Hold me?" 

"What?" 

"Just....you're right," Blaine sighs. "Sucking your cock doesn't magically make me feel any less alone or empty than I do right now, but....fuck it, Kurt, I'm gonna say it. Being in your arms makes me feel like that's where I'm always meant to be. With you." 

"Shut up." 

"I want to be with you. That's not gonna change. You don't want to be with me, fine, but I know how I feel, and right now that's pretty shitty about everything so I'm asking you, please, just to hold me for a while." 

Kurt stares down at him, trying to ignore every part of him which is screaming to declare his true feelings for Blaine. "Ten minutes," he says with a sigh. "Move over." 

*

Blaine wakes in the dark and doesn't even look at the time, just scrambles out of bed and pulls on a pair of sweats before charging up the stairs, but his heart has answered the question long before his head has. 

"He's gone," Burt says morosely, after Blaine stumbles across him in the living room. "Which is probably for the best." 

"Back to New York?" 

"I assume so." 

"But...he was there and... I don't know. We..." 

"I don't need to know," Burt barks, holding up his hand. "The clothes were enough for me. You are both incredibly stupid. I've told him what I think, and now I'm gonna tell you. This has gone far enough now. You decided at Thanksgiving that it was all over, and I was relieved, truth be told. I figured that the anger between you would subside after a while, and you'd learn to at least tolerate each other. Then I arrive home from work to find a deluge of clothes scattered around my hallway and down the stairs to your bedroom, and I don't even need to guess what's happened."

"I'm so sorry," Blaine whispers. "We just..."

"You just nothing, Blaine!" Burt shouts loudly. "I was young once, you know, and I might not have been into boys, but I still had urges, just the same as you. That's fine. That's normal, and if you wanna get them met, then I'm not gonna stop you, but I am gonna step in when it involves my sons, because all you two are doing is hurting each other, over and over, can't you see that? Argh! You make me so mad!" 

"I make you mad?" a mortified and upset Blaine asks. "I don't want you to be mad at me." 

"Well, right now, I am. I'm sorry Blaine, but you've really let yourself down and I'm disappointed in your behavior. Not just you, him as well, and I've told him that, which is why he decided to up and leave, but I was raised to speak my mind. I've done my best raising Kurt, and now you as well, but... I don't know. Maybe it's the gay thing, is that it? Does that make you both want to be trapped in this vicious cycle of going to bed together and then fighting?" 

"No, not at all. It's... I just wanted some comfort."

"Comfort? Jesus, Blaine! So you come sit with me on the couch, talk to me about how you're feeling, not go at it like rabbits with my son!" 

"I know, and I'm sorry, Burt, really. I just.... I love him," Blaine says, drawing a trembling breath, as his eyes fill with tears. "I love him, and I think he's it for me, but he just doesn't feel the same, and I don't know what to do. I just...I don't know anymore. I don't know. You're the only one who hasn’t given up on me, and now I've made you mad, and...." He breaks off, shaking his head, and determined not to cry, but Burt is over to him like a shot, folding him up in his big strong arms, and kissing the top of his head. 

"Come on kid. I know. I know you love him. Hell, I probably knew way before you did. I know it hurts, too. Leave it be, you hear? Concentrate on your final few months at school, your glee club stuff, and that science fair you've got going on. Spend time with your friends, spend time with me, plan our road trip, decide on a college... Kurt won't be home for months," he says, pretending he doesn't feel Blaine wince in his arms. "By the time he comes back, you'll feel much better, I'm sure." 

"Okay," Blaine mumbles, feeling slightly better, but pretty convinced that even when he's Burt's age himself, he'll never be over Kurt. 

"Good boy. Oh, and Blaine? If I ever see Bessie parked like that again, I'm taking her back."


	29. Chapter 29

Blaine sees in the New Year at a sleepover with Sam, Mike and Tina. Burt figures Blaine is hardly about to misbehave with any of them, and trusts Mike and Tina to respect his house. Anyway, Blaine has been so down for the last few days that he'll do anything to cheer him up. 

They drive Bessie to Cleveland two weeks later, to visit the grave of Carl Anderson, and Burt is touched when Blaine asks him to come into the cemetery with him. They spend a long while sitting on the bench, looking at his headstone, and eventually Blaine starts to talk to his dad. It doesn't matter that he cries, or that he rides home in Bessie's back seat, holding a small scrap of material, all that's left of the comfort blanket he had as a child. He cries harder that night though, alone, and not just for the memory of his dad.

Put quite simply, he misses Kurt terribly. Part of him wants to text him, to tell him that he's sorry for that afternoon, and that he hopes he's okay, but the other part of him doesn't feel ready to cope with the inevitable rejection, and no reply, so he decides instead to try and block everything out, going through the motions of daily life while not really engaging with anyone at all. 

"So what do you wanna do for your birthday?" Burt asks brightly one Saturday morning. Their weekends are lazier now that there's no Bessie to work on, and they take their time eating a massive breakfast and reading the papers. 

"Oh, um, I don't know," Blaine shrugs. "Go for dinner with you, maybe?" 

Burt sighs, wishing the shy, introverted Blaine he had first met hadn't made a return in the wake of his and Kurt's fight. "Is that all? It's your eighteenth. Don't you want a party or anything?"

"No, not really. Parties aren't my thing." 

"Blaine," Burt deadpans, shooting him a look. "You went out to a nightclub with Kurt, and got so stupidly drunk that I had to ground you." 

"Yeah." He raises a small smile at the memory then shakes his head, frowning again. "But that's not really me at all." 

"Fine," Burt sighs. "Let me know where you want to eat." 

"Breadstix will be fine." 

"Blaine! You can't just.....okay," Burt sighs, plotting already. "Breadstix it is." 

And it is, but with Sam, Mike and Tina too, much to Blaine's surprise. 

"I called him," Burt says proudly, pointing at Mike. "Found his number in your phone when you were in the shower the other morning." 

"Great," Blaine says, unable to keep from laughing. "I'm glad I don't have any lewd messages stored." 

"Oh please, like I'd even go looking." 

"I know," Blaine smiles, giving him a nudge. "I trust you." 

After dinner, once they're home and settled with a beer each and watching TV, Burt awkwardly hands Blaine a box, clearing his throat before looking at the TV again. "Happy Birthday, son."

"You didn't need to get me a gift," Blaine protests. "You paid for dinner."

"So? You're my son. I mean, I'm not tryin' to be your dad or anything..." 

"I know that, and I don't think of you as trying to replace him, I just think of you as another one, that's all, and a damn good one at that." Blaine unwraps the box, and is stunned by the diamond and platinum cufflinks.

"They're...wow. I love them," he says quietly, holding them in his hands. "I've never had cufflinks before."

"Yeah. I um... I got Kurt some for his eighteenth, too. I'm not trying to turn you into him, just...well, I just want to treat you both fairly, that's all." 

"This is... I was going to say it's the best gift I've gotten, but actually, it's the only one, so..." 

"Oh, I'm sure your mom will have remembered," Burt says, trying his best to give hope, where there really is none. "We've had snow. It's hard for the mail to get through, and..." 

"So it's uh...late," Blaine says, trying to block out the deep pain he feels when he thinks about the lack of contact, from both his mom and Kurt. 

"Okay," Burt sighs, knowing Blaine doesn't want to have this conversation. "What's the time?"

"Ten after eleven. You need to get to bed," he adds with a frown. "You need plenty of sleep at your age." 

"Very funny," Burt grouches affectionately. "You're no spring chicken yourself now, and god, Kurt will turn thirty in December." 

"He just turned twenty nine, we're only three weeks into January," Blaine replies with a grin. He hopes Burt didn't see the flash of hurt cross his face, but he knows he's out of luck, when he's crushed against his side, and his hair is ruffled. 

"Blaine?"

"Hmm?" 

"I know things haven't gone well between you two, but are you still thinking of NYU?"

"Actually yeah, though I do need to go visit sometime. It seems to offer the best course for me. Mechanical engineering and physics combined, I think it will suit me. Plus, they have a strong music program, so I can join the choir or whatever, if I still want to sing." 

"And when you do go, cause your grades will pretty much get you in wherever you want, will you still come home to me? Even if Kurt does too?" 

Blaine sits up, and takes a hard look at the man who has dedicated nearly two years of his life to keeping him safe, to loving him, and helping him grow into a man. "Always," he promises, and the relief which floods Burt's face is almost enough to move Blaine to tears. "You two are my family. That stubborn ass is a huge part of my life, and not just cause he's hot," he adds with a rueful smile. "But you...I'd never leave you, Burt. I was waiting for college, counting down the days, and now I'm just dreading leaving you." 

"Don't worry about me," Burt says bravely. "Just go out there and take the world by storm, my boy, cause you can, I know it." 

*

Burt might have faith, but Blaine has none, and a week later on a Monday afternoon he leaves Glee early feigning a headache after he tries but fails to get his head around the steps to their latest number. 

He parks Bessie carefully in the garage, figuring he might as well take a nap before Burt comes home from work, and he decides to grab the mail before heading inside. He's surprised to see an envelope addressed to him, but he figures it will be the belated birthday gift from his mom, so he tears it open, expecting a check.

Two plane tickets fall out, in his name, for a flight to New York, leaving tomorrow, and a return flight from JFK.

"What the...?" he starts, turning them over and over in his hands. There's no note, no indication of who has sent them, though really, he figures that for whatever reason, it could only have been Kurt. The return flight isn't until Sunday, meaning that Kurt is asking him to miss four days of school to spend six days and five nights in New York with him.

He walks slowly down to his room, trying but failing to get his head around the magnitude of this gift. If Kurt is asking him to go to New York, that must mean something, right? Or is it just so he can remind him again, face to face, that there is nothing between them? Is he trying the lover tactic again? If he goes, and right now it's a very big if, will he find himself trapped in a city he doesn't know, unable to resist Kurt's charms? Will he end up falling into bed with him for a week, and then living to regret it forever? 

"Fuck you, Kurt," he growls, tearing at his hair. 

His nap forgotten, he tries to study, but in reality it ends up with him staring at the plane tickets and wondering over and over what it all means. 

He doesn't even hear Burt come home, and he has to be called several times for dinner before he realizes and heads up the stairs and into the kitchen. 

"Head in the books again?" Burt asks cheerfully, setting his dinner down in front of him. "You work too hard." 

"Uh...yeah, about that. I um..." Blaine pauses, lost. He can't tell Burt the truth. He knows that if he does, there's no way he will let him go, and on top of that, he will be straight on Kurt's case about the tickets, calling him out on encouraging Blaine to skip school, and reminding them both, yet again, that they need to stay away from each other. 

"You what?" 

"Oh." Blaine shakes his head in surprise, and swallows. Can he really lie? "My mom sent me a plane ticket," he blurts, then stares at his plate, pushing his green beans around with his fork. 

"Really? Wow. See, I told you she wouldn't forget your birthday! I'll bet it got delayed because of the weather, huh?"

"Um...yeah. It must have, because it's leaving tomorrow, coming back Sunday." 

"Oh." Burt is obviously surprised, but still stupidly happy for Blaine, and can't work out why he doesn't feel the same. "What's up?" 

"I don't know if I want to go," Blaine admits, and that part at least, is true. "I've never been on a plane before, and..."

"It’s just a short flight to Baltimore. The thing is, Blaine, if your mom is asking you to go, surely she will keep you safe for those few days? Maybe I could call her for you?"

"No! No, there's no need," Blaine says in a rush.

"Well, I think you should go," Burt says decisively. "I mean, I don't usually advocate skipping school, but you're doing so well, and this relationship is important, Blaine."

"Yeah," Blaine mutters, realizing how Burt speaks the truth, without even knowing. "It is." 

"I'll drive you to the airport, and pick you up Sunday," Burt offers. "What time is the flight?" 

"Don't do that," Blaine says in a hurry. "I'll take my old car. The flight is at noon." 

"You sure? Cause if you've never been on a plane before...."

"Really sure," Blaine says, forcing a smile.

"Okay. Well, I'm proud of you, kid," Burt smiles, patting the back of his hand. "This will be a good thing, trust me." 

*

Blaine is still full of self hatred the next day as he drives in a haze to the airport. He's also still completely undecided on whether to actually go, and spends a good half hour staring at the departures board until the final check-in call is announced, when he runs toward the desk and thrusts his ticket at the startled clerk. 

As the flight comes in to land over the New York skyline, Blaine acts like an excited child, with his nose pressed to the glass. In all his life he has never seen a sight like it, and he's still staring, even after the plane has touched down. It's the seatbelt sign and the noise of everyone standing that alerts him properly to his arrival, and makes him feel suddenly sick with fear. 

He could turn around and go back, he figures. He's still had no word at all from Kurt. He has his address, sure, but is he really expecting Blaine to find his way to his apartment, when he's never set foot here before? He makes up his mind while he follows the throng of passengers to the baggage claim and waits for his bag. He'll pick up his suitcase, then find the departures desk and book a seat on the next flight to Columbus. He's saved up quite a bit from his job at the garage, so the cost won't be a problem. Plus, it's only two in the afternoon. He can be back with Burt in time for dinner, where he can tell him the truth and apologize, explaining he made a huge mistake.

Except as he walks through the arrivals doors he sees Kurt standing there, anxiously biting his lip, and looking even more fraught with nerves than Blaine does. Their eyes meet and Kurt offers a tentative smile, but it's not returned by Blaine, who is feeling a flood of emotion but predominantly hurt and anger, as he remembers the last time he saw Kurt; with his eyes closed and arms wrapped around him, looking peaceful and content before he left without word or explanation, and yet again cut off all contact. 

"You're here," Kurt says, stating the obvious. "I wasn't sure if you were coming, since you didn't send me a message, so..." 

"I wasn't sure I was going to go through with it." 

"Right."

"You didn't send me a message, either," Blaine points out. "Just a plane ticket, and less than twenty four hours notice." 

"I sent the tickets last Tuesday," Kurt says in surprise. "I bought them on your birthday." 

"Well, they arrived yesterday," Blaine snaps. It might not be Kurt's fault, but right now he feels like blaming him, so he will. 

"I'm sorry." 

Kurt sounds so sincere, that it makes Blaine do a double take, and just stare for a moment, until Kurt takes his suitcase for him. "Does dad know?" 

"What do you think? He thinks I'm visiting my mom, and I think I'm the worlds biggest asshole for lying to him." 

"You're not the first teenager to lie to his parents, Blaine. Get over it." 

"Easy for you to say. You know what? This was a mistake. You're only gonna be nasty to me, so..."

"No, no, I'm sorry," Kurt says quickly. "Please, you're here now. So....let's go, okay?" 

"Go where?" 

"My apartment?" Kurt asks, and once again, Blaine is struck by how incredibly nervous he seems. "We can leave your stuff there, then head into Manhattan, if you want." 

Blaine nods, and follows in silence, stepping out into the freezing cold where Kurt hails a cab and gives his address. 

"It's so big," Blaine murmurs, as he stares out the window. 

"Yeah," Kurt agrees with a sigh. "It can seem overwhelming at times. You get used to it though. I live about a half hour away, and then it takes about a half hour to get into Manhattan from my place." 

"Right." 

Blaine doesn't know what else to say, so he doesn't say anything, opting for looking the other way at all the traffic instead, until the cab screeches to a stop outside an old and weary looking brownstone apartment building. 

"Um so....this is where I live," Kurt says, as they stand on the sidewalk awkwardly. "It's not... well, it's not big, and I can't even pretend like it's nice so..." Unlocking the door, he shows Blaine into a narrow entrance hall, that is dark, dingy, and smells of damp. The stairs rise in front of them, the walls painted a hideous shade of green in an attempt to brighten the gray light that comes in through a tiny, dirty skylight. They climb to the second floor, where two brown doors stand facing each other, with less than three feet of landing space between them. 

"Santana," Kurt explains, nodding toward the other door. "See what I mean when I said we practically live together?"

"Yeah that's...that's close. Is she home?"

"At work. But you'll meet her later, no doubt." 

Kurt pushes open the door to his apartment, and stands back to let Blaine inside. Small, is the first word that comes to mind for Blaine, as he scans the tiny living space. The kitchen area is along one wall, stove, counter, sink and fridge, with two cupboards on the walls. It's white, with black flooring and though tiny, it is immaculately neat and tidy. The living room area has two tall windows, with cushions on the deep window sills, a navy blue couch, and a light wood coffee table, along with a small side table and lamp. A bookcase and small table stand against the wall that joins with Santana, and in the corner is a TV. Two doors lead off the room, and Blaine assumes they're Kurt's bedroom and the bathroom. 

"It's shitty, you can say it." 

"No, that's not... I mean it's small, but it's yours, right? And it's very clean. I like clean."

"Ha! Okay. Thanks."

"It's uh...it's one bedroom, right?"

"It is," Kurt confirms. "But the couch is comfortable, if you'd rather I slept there." 

"I'll take the couch," Blaine tells him, and Kurt looks down at the floor, scuffing his toe on the rug. 

"If you're sure." 

"I don't think.... I don't think it's sensible for us to be in the same bed, do you?" 

"I don't know," Kurt answers honestly. "I mean you came, so..." 

"Why, though? Why did I come here?"

"I don't know, Blaine. Only you can answer that. I sent you the tickets, but even so, getting on a plane for the first time, skipping school to come and visit me....it's quite a grand gesture." 

"So is paying for the tickets," Blaine points out. "So why did you do it?" 

Kurt pauses, and takes a moment to really look at Blaine. He looks close to tears and scared, and Kurt realizes that he doesn't know why he's here, just that for whatever reason, he couldn't stay away. 

"I'm tired of the games," Kurt says into the quiet. "I have spent hours, days, weeks, even, thinking this over, figuring it all out. Blaine, I can't run any longer, and I can't ignore it either, so I'm gonna lay it on the line here, and after, if you decide you’re done with me, I'll take you back to the airport and see you get home safely, okay?" 

"Okay." 

"When I picked you up that night, almost two years ago, I thought you were cute, nothing more. Your offer to make sure I got home safely was irritating to me at the time, but after, I found it oddly sweet and I couldn't stop thinking about it. When you appeared in dad's kitchen it felt like I had been given a second chance, but again, I refused to allow myself to think that way. You and I both know that there have been times where I've let my guard down around you and it's been fantastic, but I don't find it easy to trust others. Not because I've been hurt, necessarily, but more that I can't figure out why anyone would really want to be with me like that. Since I was nineteen, all anyone has ever really wanted me for is sex, nothing more, nothing less. Until I met you, no one had even thought me worthy enough for one date.   
I have tried, over and over again, to walk away from you, because I'm convinced that you'll grow tired of being with someone as grumpy and miserable as me, and you'll have your head turned by someone your own age. When I saw you with that boy that day, I wanted to cry, really. I've tried to ignore your existence, I've tried to be nasty to you, I've tried to keep it casual...but I've fallen for you, Blaine. I've fallen completely and utterly head over heels for you, and...and….well, I'm just gonna say it. I'm as sure as I can be that I won't ever want anyone else, for the rest of my life. So that's it. That's me."

Blaine knows he’s staring in amazement, and he knows it’s his turn to say something, but there is so much more he needs to hear. "Why now? Why have you and I been dancing this same dance for more than eighteen months and it's only now you decide?" 

"Because each time I leave you, I leave a little bit of my soul behind. Each time I think of you, the pain of not being with you cuts that little bit deeper. You hold my heart and you've kept it safe all this time. You've never once lashed out, or hurt me, even though you had every right. At some point, even someone as self destructive as me has to realize that means something." 

"Because I feel the same," Blaine says softly. "You know that, right? You have to know that." 

"I do," Kurt says with a small smile. "Or I hope so, anyway. Blaine, I've been a blind and stupid idiot and I just hope...well, I just hope you'll accept me, flaws and all, cause I'm always going to belong to you no matter what."

"What are you saying, Kurt?"

"I'm offering you my heart, you idiot." 

"Nice." 

"Okay, sorry. Let me try again. I don't want to be with anyone else, and I never could be with anyone else Blaine, I want to be with you. Properly." 

"Together?" 

"Yeah. I mean, I'm not gonna sign some formal declaration, or ask you officially, but..."

"I'd like you to." 

"What?" 

"I'd like you to ask me," Blaine says, with a small smile.

"Fine. Blaine. I can't promise you that I won't be entirely crappy, and I can't promise you that I will always remember to be kind and loving if I've had a bad day or whatever, but will you please be my first ever boyfriend? No one else will have me...plus, I don't actually want anyone else, because you're perfect and wonderful, and your hair is ridiculous but gorgeous, and you dress like a senior citizen but always look hot, and you smile and my tummy does a funny little flip." 

"Hmm."

"Oh come on!" Kurt cries. "Put me out of my misery here! I've been in turmoil over this for weeks, and then waiting to hear if you were gonna get on the flight or not..." 

"Shut up, idiot," Blaine laughs, closing the gap between them, and sliding his hands into Kurt's hair. "I've fallen for you too, and yes, of course I'll be your boyfriend, because you're perfect for me." 

"I don't think I'm perfect for anyone." 

"Kurt," Blaine says with a frown. "Listen to me. If you're serious about doing this, then you have to believe me when I say stuff like that. Trust me, okay? I'm not gonna cheat on you, I'm not gonna hurt you, I'm not gonna lie and say stuff that isn't true." 

"Do you trust me, though?" 

"Of course I do." 

"Really?" 

"Really, now shut up and let me kiss you," Blaine grins, and satisfied, Kurt closes his eyes, surprised at how much he needs the gentle touch of Blaine's lips on his. 

It is a soft, hesitant brush of the lips, as if both are unable to believe that at last, this is real. Blaine's head is swimming. Kurt paid for him to fly to New York because he needed to tell him how he felt. That alone is mind boggling enough to him after all this time, but now, to know that this is it, they're now both committed to giving this relationship a try, makes Blaine want to fall into his arms and never leave. 

For Kurt, as they kiss gently again, it feels like ten years of loneliness has come to an end, as if he's been running and finally found the finish line. He knows Blaine is young, but he also knows that what Blaine had told him a long time ago would certainly ring true; he will be the best boyfriend ever. 

"Oh, hey now, don't cry," Blaine whispers, kissing away the tracks of two tears Kurt didn't know he’d shed. "I'm not that bad a house guest." 

"Ha! No, it's not that. I'm just.....stupidly happy," Kurt says with a grin, then hugs Blaine ridiculously tight, until he's squirming to be free. 

"I need to breathe!" 

"Sorry. I love holding you. I remember I used to look at you, and think you'd fit perfectly, and that first time I held you, I realized I was right."

"Hmm, it is pretty perfect," Blaine agrees. His head fits perfectly into the crook of Kurt's neck, his arms around his waist, as Kurt's arms come around all of him, and hold him close. He looks up again, and captures Kurt's lips. 

Their passion seems to wake this time, and Blaine inclines his head, opening his mouth and teasing Kurt with his tongue before kissing along his jaw and down his neck. 

"I'm supposed to be showing you Manhattan," Kurt protests weakly.

Blaine kisses him again, backing him against the wall, one hand sliding up into his hair. "Show me you instead," he murmurs, his lips still tracing over Kurt's mouth. 

Kurt's hands find their way into Blaine's hair, stiffly gelled today, no doubt an exercise in control before leaving Ohio, but Kurt breaks it apart and Blaine happily lets him, before reaching back and placing his hands over his, moving them down to the back of his jeans. 

Kurt subtly moves them up to Blaine's back, happy for now to keep it to kissing, but Blaine is wanting more, pushing Kurt hard into the wall, and letting his hands move to his belt buckle. 

"Hold up," Kurt says, breaking the kiss, and pushing at Blaine's shoulder. "There's no rush. We've got the next five nights together. Assuming you're not still sleeping on the couch, that is." 

Blaine gives a breathy laugh, and drops his head onto Kurt's shoulder. "I'd rather not. Sorry. I'm just stupidly happy like you." 

"That's good," Kurt says, closing his eyes and kissing Blaine's forehead, a blissful smile coming over his face. "I think we should make out some more to celebrate being happy." 

"Sounds good." 

"Maybe on my bed?" 

"Sounds better." 

Kurt's room is as small as the rest of the apartment, practically filled with a bed, which is pushed against one wall to make room for a nightstand, which has to then be moved each time in order to open the closet, but none of that is important to Blaine. What matters now is the way Kurt is looking at him, more open and unguarded than he's ever seen. His eyes seem to smile, as he moves closer and takes Blaine lovingly in his arms, sweetly rubbing their noses together before caressing his cheek softly, then letting his lips glide over Blaine's once more, gasping into his mouth when he feels Blaine's tongue tracing over his lower lip, and then his teeth as he opens his mouth wider. 

Blaine closes his eyes, losing himself in the feel of Kurt holding him tight, keeping him close. He sighs contentedly, feeling Kurt's hot breath as he moves to kiss behind Blaine's ear before lying him gently on the bed. Unbuttoning Blaine's shirt slowly, he kisses each new bit of flesh as it becomes exposed, flicking his tongue over his nipples to make him squirm, and kissing his side, just above his hip bone, because he knows it makes him laugh. 

He pulls his own sweater over his head, then settles on top of Blaine, both of them grinning at the familiar, yet still breathtaking feel of their bare chests pressed together. Kurt pulls Blaine's thigh up as he grinds against him lightly, their kissing becoming more heated until Blaine gently pushes him back. 

"Don't stop," he says simply, and with his eyes locked on Blaine's, Kurt nods, the meaning understood. He reaches into his nightstand, and sets condoms and lube on the other pillow, but then Blaine is there, wanting and needing to be kissed, and Kurt is more than happy to oblige. 

Kurt might have had a lot of sex, but he's never truly made love with someone like this. It's all he can do not to cry with the emotion of just being together, as slowly they shed the rest of their clothes, taking their time to make out along the way. He knows Blaine is ready from the way he keeps pushing up underneath Kurt, or not so subtly moving his hands to somewhere near his ass, and eventually Kurt gives in, reaching for the lube and smearing some on his fingers. 

"I don't want to hurt you, and it shouldn't hurt, if I'm doing it right. So if it does...hurt, that is, just say. We can stop, if you want? We don't have to. I'm not expecting you to..." 

"Kurt." Blaine's voice is strong yet quiet and firm in his assurances. "I want this." 

"Okay. Yes. Okay. Shit."

"What?" 

"I'm terrified." 

"Please don't be," Blaine says, pulling him down, and kissing him gently. "It's me and you." 

"That's what I'm terrified about, dumbass," Kurt laughs, then nuzzles in under his jaw affectionately. "Beautiful boyfriend." 

Blaine wants to squeal with delight, but he settles for kissing Kurt once again, and trying not to tense up at the feeling of cold and wet fingers trailing carefully over his entrance, pushing slightly each time, until the very tip of his finger can slip inside. 

Kurt moves slowly, carefully, as if afraid Blaine might break if he rushes too fast, but eventually he manages to work two fingers inside of him, and Blaine's fingers dig into his shoulder as he rises off the bed. "That's so good," he whispers, and Kurt leans down, kissing him lightly. 

"That's only the start." 

It takes a long time for Blaine to be ready. Clearly he's never tried anything like this on himself before, but Kurt has all the time in the world right now, and as he settles on his side, with Blaine's leg thrown over his hip, he watches, mesmerized, as Blaine bites his lip, his cheeks flushed before he moans and opens his eyes. 

"I need you to….cause otherwise it'll all be over." 

Kurt nods and kneels between his legs, quickly putting a condom on and smearing himself in lube. 

"More of that stuff?"

"Can never have enough," Kurt smiles as he shuffles closer to Blaine and kisses the inside of his knee. "If we keep doing this, we won't need as much. You become, uh....acclimated, shall we say?" 

Blaine laughs, but then turns serious, tugging Kurt down into a kiss and locking his legs around his waist when he feels him gently nudging at his entrance. The stretch is slow and slightly painful, but not unpleasant, as Kurt pushes inside gradually, eventually coming to rest. 

"Wow." 

"Pretty much," Blaine whispers. 

"You okay?"

"I'm amazing." 

"You certainly are. And tight," Kurt groans, as he starts to move. "So tight."

"Um....thank you?"

"Heh. Yeah. Sorry. Just....you're perfect in every way, and this is just...." 

He's cut off by another kiss, which he returns eagerly, as gradually he begins to pick up pace until he can feel Blaine, hard and rigid between them. The feeling is overwhelming and indescribable in the closeness it brings to them both. This is the biggest step they've taken, and they've taken it as a couple; suddenly Kurt can see why Blaine wanted to wait for this moment. To make love to someone can only really be achieved if you truly love the person you are with, and while Kurt knows the act itself isn't perfect, filled with nerves and a sweet awkwardness, it really is his best time ever. 

Reaching between them, he takes Blaine in his hand and strokes a few times before he orgasms and Kurt lets go too, holding tight and burying his head into Blaine's shoulder, giving a muffled cry. They stay that way for a long time, until Blaine starts to shiver, the warmth and heat of his orgasm fading, and leaving just the cold early evening air on his skin. 

Kurt pulls back slowly, kissing Blaine's swollen lips, before dashing to the bathroom, returning with a washcloth and towel. "Are you okay?"

"Um...I'm better than okay," Blaine says, his grin making his eyes crinkle with happiness. "I'm like...on top of the world right now." 

Kurt cleans up, before tossing the washcloth and towel into the corner of his room and settling under the covers, pulling Blaine close and kissing his cheek. "I'm right up there with you." 

They are silent again, happy and content as Blaine idly traces patterns over Kurt's chest with his finger, and Kurt smoothes his hand over Blaine's back. 

"So...I don't know….we can still go into Manhattan, if you want? Get some dinner?" 

"Or we could stay naked in this bed and order take out?" Blaine asks hopefully.

"I was kinda hoping you'd say that," Kurt admits, holding Blaine tighter. "Though I will have to put a robe on to answer the door to the delivery guy." 

"Kurt?" 

Kurt turns, resting his chin on Blaine's shoulder, and looking at him intently. "Hmm?" 

"You're incredible, just so you know, and I'm so proud to finally be able to say you're my boyfriend." 

"Good," Kurt grins. "I promise not to call it off after two weeks this time." 

"I know you won't," Blaine says happily, pulling him close to his side. "I can feel it. This is it, for both of us."


	30. Chapter 30

Kurt wakes to a loud hammering on his door. In his sleepy confusion, he assumes Blaine has taken the initiative and ordered food, even though he's now sound asleep on his front, so he pulls on a robe and answers the knocking. 

"Did he come?" 

Santana stands there, still in her work clothes, her dark eyes shining with excitement, and all Kurt can do is smirk.

"Oh yeah. He came." 

"Where is he? I wanna see!" 

"He's asleep. You can meet him later."

"No. I can meet him now," Santana declares, and boldly pushes past Kurt, walking into the bedroom and settling on Kurt's side of the bed, suppressing a gasp at the sight of Blaine sleeping, his face turned toward her. "He's so cute!" 

"Yep." 

She looks at Kurt then, standing in the doorway and grinning, his hair standing on end, cheeks flushed, and eyes sparkling. "Well, look who finally got himself laid."

"Shut up, it wasn't like that." 

"Oh yeah? You've been holding out since you met the guy. You must've been desperate." 

"My needs have been fully satisfied by Blaine for the past eighteen months now," Kurt says sharply. "It's just that now we decided to take the next step in our relationship."

"What relationship? You don't even have one." 

"We do. It's about five hours old, but we do." 

"Really?" Santana smiles, unable to resist smoothing Blaine's curls. "That's actually really great. I'm happy for you. Wake up, honey pie. Momma wants to meet you." 

"Excuse me? Don't call yourself momma. That repulses me." 

"But he's so cute!" Santana coos in a baby voice. "I wanna be his momma. I wanna keep him." 

Blaine's eyes open suddenly, and he comes face to face not with Kurt, as he had expected, but with a woman. A beautiful one but even so, Blaine is alarmed and scrambles backward, forgetting that the bed is against the wall. "Oh! Ouch," he groans, rubbing his shoulder. "Um....Kurt?" 

"She wanted to meet you," Kurt explains, coming to sit on the bed next to him. "This is Santana. Santana, meet my boyfriend, Blaine. Now leave." 

"Kurt is crazy mad in love with you," Santana grins, cackling when Kurt kicks at her legs.

"Out! Get out!"

"Blaine?" she carries on, unfazed. "How much will you pay me not to smack your ass right now?" 

"Leave!" Kurt cries, manhandling her off the bed, and hauling her towards the front door. "Out! Go on! You'll be invited back when, and if, I feel like seeing you again ." 

"Is he good, Blaine?" Santana calls loudly. "Half of New York State seems to think so." 

"I hate you. Goodbye," Kurt growls, before slamming the door in her face, and returning to the bed, where a completely startled Blaine is laying, curled up protectively on his side.

"I'm so sorry."

"She's uh...different," Blaine tries.

"She's a good friend, but she always takes things that little bit too far," Kurt sighs. "Anyway, how are you feeling?" 

"A bit nervous," Blaine admits. "And a little sore, but nothing too bad." 

"Why are you nervous?" Kurt lies down to face him, smoothing his hand gently over his cheek.

Blaine sighs at the feeling of Kurt's touch, closing his eyes briefly. "Like....last time you told me I was too eager, but I can't help it, Kurt. I'm an affectionate person." 

"That's okay," Kurt tells him, winding a curl around his finger. "I wasn't there before, but now I am, and I promise I will call you this time." 

"I want to be able to kiss you for no reason at all, or to hold your hand and take you out on dates."

"Go for it." 

"Really?"

"Really." 

Blaine leans forward and kisses him, breathing in sharply at the feeling of Kurt giving in and lying down beneath him, letting Blaine take control. "And just so you know, I don't care," he breathes, angling Kurt's head so he can kiss under his jaw.

"What?"

"I don't care how many others you've had before me, cause I'm the one who's got you now, and I'm the one who's gonna keep you." 

He says it so firmly and confidently that Kurt pulls him into a strong hug, quite unable to convey his emotion through words, but Blaine seems to understand, content to hold him tight and give the occasional kiss into his hair, before he pulls back slightly and looks down at him. "I really mean that, you know. I'm gonna keep you." 

"I've never done this before," Kurt warns. "This relationship thing. I think I might be quite a handful." 

"I don't care. Neither of us are perfect, but we're perfect together, and that's what counts." He pauses, then leans in close to whisper in Kurt's ear. "And what we did earlier? I wanna do it again." 

"Oh, gimme time, tiger," Kurt laughs. "I'm not as young as you. Plus, I'm starving." 

"Oh. Okay." 

"We'll do it again," Kurt reassures, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Especially if this is for keeps. It'd be kinda rude not to." 

"You have a point," Blaine grins, and reluctantly, they rise from the bed to order food.

*

It is a marked reminder for both of how well they can get along, and how much they enjoy one another's company as they curl up on the couch in pajamas, eating Chinese food and talking. Kurt remembers that underneath it all, when he lets all the panic and fear subside, he really enjoys Blaine's company, and he also remembers how much he makes him laugh, which is definitely a good thing. 

For Blaine, their meal together only serves to reinforce how well suited they are, and he can't help but smile when he thinks back to when he attempted to date Jackson, and pretty soon realized that if he wasn't Kurt, it wasn't worth pursuing.

"So, I’ll take you into Manhattan tomorrow," Kurt says, as he watches Blaine eat. "And we'll do all the touristy things, like the Empire State Building and Times Square. I'll also take you to dinner, if you'd like?" 

"Well, we have to eat," Blaine points out around a mouthful of rice.

"I meant a nice dinner. Like a date, fool." 

"Oh," Blaine shrugs, then smiles bashfully. "That works." 

"Good. Then Thursday, I uh...." Kurt breaks off, watching Blaine carefully, before deciding he might as well tell him now. "I kinda booked us on an NYU campus tour and arranged for you to meet with one of the guys who teaches in the engineering program." 

Blaine stops, his chopsticks raised halfway to his face. "You did what?" 

"It's just...I'm selfish," Kurt admits. "I want you here. I mean not here, in this apartment. It's too small. But in the city, at least. So I arranged all this in the hope that even if you didn't want to be with me, you'd at least agree to visiting the campus. I kinda thought that if you said no to me right now, I'd have four years of you in the city to work on it, right?" 

"I said yes, though." 

"I know you did," Kurt bites his bottom lip, but he can't hide his wide smile as he shifts on the couch to let his legs wrap around Blaine's waist. "So will you visit the campus with me? And meet with this professor?" 

"Did Jeremy have anything to do with this?" Blaine asks with a frown.

"No. Well, he did, in that I know who the guy is because of him, but Jeremy doesn't know anything about this at all," Kurt reassures. "I haven't seen him or spoken to him since well before Thanksgiving." 

"Then yes, I'll go, and thank you for arranging it," Blaine says happily, leaning across to kiss his lips. "You're wonderful." 

Kurt, who was expecting a long and drawn out fight over him potentially trying to take control of Blaine's life, is stunned. That's not what he was trying to do, of course, but he was worried it would be seen that way, and is amazed yet thrilled when Blaine carries on eating nonchalantly. 

"I will live in the dorms, though," Blaine says, after a while. "If I get in. I mean, I'm happy to sleep over, but you're right, this place is too small for both of us. Plus, I don't think we're there yet, do you?" 

"No," Kurt admits. "I don't. It will take a lot for me to learn to live with someone, and I'd rather make sure we were settled in a relationship before that happens." 

"Good. So we're agreed on something?" 

"Always a first time for everything," Kurt grins. 

"Don't you have to work while I'm here?" 

"Friday, at the coffee house, but other than that I'm free. I moved some shifts around, and got all my writing done early. I'd really like to….no, actually, don't worry about it." 

"What?" Blaine asks, catching onto Kurt's awkward embarrassment. "You'd really like to what?" 

"I just...if you.....I'd really like to take you into work, for people to meet you, if that doesn't make you feel awkward." 

"Why would that make me feel awkward? That makes me feel happy," Blaine reassures, catching a hold of his hand. "I like that you want to introduce me to people." 

Setting his food to the side, Kurt gently pulls Blaine into his lap, happy to look up at him and let his hands smooth over the top of his ass. "You're beautiful, and I'm proud to be with you. Finally. At last. Now that I've stopped being a dick." 

"You've stolen that," Blaine says, wrinkling his nose. "Now if I say you're beautiful, it'll sound hollow, like I'm just copying you." 

"You can still say it," Kurt offers, enjoying the ridiculousness of their conversation. 

"You're beautiful," Blaine says with a laugh, locking their fingers together and kissing him tenderly. "And I really like sitting like this in pajamas." 

"Do you?" Kurt almost flutters his eyelashes with his response, letting go of Blaine's hands and sliding them to his ass again, dipping under the waistband of his pants this time. "And why is that?" 

"Cause I can feel you," Blaine answers, grinding down lightly. "And it makes me want things." 

They move slowly again, which suits them both, spending a long time kissing and gently teasing one another. It is a revelation for Kurt yet again, who always assumed that sex with another man must be a rough battle of wills rather than the tender exploration he gets from Blaine. He moves inside him carefully, almost cradling Blaine to his chest for a moment, until they both need more and he pushes deeper, harder, until they climax together, gasping each other's names as their bodies press flush together and they slowly come down from their high. 

"Blaine?" Kurt asks later that night, when they're curled up together in the warm cocoon of his bed. 

"Hmm?" 

"Do you really think this is it for you? Your one big love? That you've found it at eighteen?"

"No," he answers, then stops Kurt's heart from sinking further. "I found it at sixteen, and yes, I know this is it. Don't ask me how, I just do." 

"I'm gonna get tested," Kurt says decisively, and Blaine rolls over in surprise. 

"Oh? Well, I mean, I guess I don't really know anything about that, but...yeah. Seems sensible, I guess."

"I've always been careful," Kurt carries on, avoiding Blaine's gaze. "It's just... I need to know for certain that I'm all good, and then we can take that step, if you want." 

"I'd like to," Blaine grins. He's happy to hear that first of all, Kurt has been safe, but mostly, that he wants Blaine to be the one he ditches the condoms for. "Then you can eat your come out of my ass." 

"Blaine!!" Kurt screams, laughing wildly and rolling onto his back, clutching his stomach. "Oh my god! Oh my god! I can't believe you just said that! You filthy boy!" 

Blaine joins in with the laughter, happy that he's shocked Kurt and made him laugh, and they're both still sniggering long after the light is turned out and they're supposed to be sleeping.

*

"I love this city!" Blaine cries, holding his arms out in the middle of Central Park and twirling on the spot. "It's amazing!"

Blaine's enthusiasm is infectious, and Kurt is reminded of why he fell in love with the place as they visit all the regular tourist haunts, as well as a few places that only an inhabitant of the big apple would know. 

"Is it too cold for ice cream?" Kurt wonders aloud, while Blaine is still spinning. "I know a great little place about two blocks from here." 

"Yes! I want ice cream!" Blaine shouts, almost jumping on the spot and Kurt laughs, catching him around the waist, and pulling him close. 

"Come on then, you bouncing fool. Kiss me though, before we go." 

"Here? In the middle of the park?" 

"It's New York," Kurt says, draping his arms over Blaine's shoulders. "No one cares." 

Blaine still feels awkward regardless, and keeps the kiss short, but he's pretty convinced that after a few months with Kurt, it really will be a case of anything goes. He takes his hand happily as they walk toward the ice cream shop, where they split a hot fudge sundae, and Blaine figures that life couldn't get any better. 

"Hi." 

Kurt pauses, his spoon halfway towards Blaine's mouth, and they both turn to the sound of the voice, which belongs to a tall blond man, standing at the edge of their booth. His blue eyes are focused only on Kurt, and Blaine knows what’s coming, even before another word has been spoken. 

"I'm Alex," the guy continues. "We met in club vision?" 

"Did we?" Kurt asks coldly. "I don't remember." 

"We hooked up," the guy says, clearly affronted. "Twice." 

"Well that would've been a long time ago," Kurt snaps. "Because I've belonged to Blaine here for well over a year." 

"It was a couple of months ago, I'm sure," Alex says, stepping closer, and seeming to tower over them. "We went back to my place, then you left right after we'd fucked. I was in the shower, and when I came out you'd gone. I tried to pin you down and ask for your number the next time, but you weren't having any of it. Now I see why." 

"Fuck you," Kurt snarls. "If I hooked up with you, it was over a year ago, though to be honest, I can't see that I would have wasted my time. Especially not twice." 

"Woah. Hey little fella," the guy says, turning his attentions to Blaine. "You hear that? He doesn't even know if he did or didn't. I think that says a helluva lot, don't you?" 

He saunters away, leaving Blaine to dig his spoon mindlessly to the bottom of the sundae glass, before pushing it to the side, and leaning back in the booth to look at Kurt, who looks perilously close to bursting into angry tears. 

"He was lying," Kurt protests weakly. "I didn't hook up with him a couple of months ago." 

"I know that," Blaine says evenly. "I trust you." 

"Right." 

"But I do think, given that you don't even know if you had sex with him or not, and that's just one guy, I do think it's important you get tested. Just in case." 

"I will. I told you I was going to." 

"Sooner rather than later, please." 

"There's a place in Brooklyn. A walk in place. I could go there tomorrow, before we go to NYU?" 

"Good. I'll come with you. That's all I'm gonna say about it, okay?"

"What?"

"That's all I'm gonna say. Let's forget about it now."

"It's gonna keep happening though, Blaine," Kurt says sadly. "I um...know...a lot of people." 

"So? I've already said that it doesn't matter. You're with me now. C'mere." He beckons with his finger, and Kurt looks around in surprise. 

"Huh?" 

"Come over here. Sit with me." 

Kurt obliges, sliding out of the booth and back in on the same side as Blaine, who immediately puts an arm around his shoulders. "Please don't worry," he says quietly, kissing Kurt's cheek. "I don't care what anyone says. I want to be with you, and that's all that matters. And maybe we'll tell our kids we were both virgins when we met," he adds with a wink, before leaning in and kissing Kurt slowly, letting their lips glide together, until Kurt suddenly realizes what he said, and pulls back. 

"Kids?" 

"Kids," Blaine confirms, smiling widely. "Now kiss me again." 

*

"Seriously, we got thrown out!" Kurt tells Santana with a laugh. 

"For kissing?" 

"Well....making out quite heavily, maybe," Kurt concedes. "But that's Blaine's fault. He shouldn't be so damn adorable." 

"You two are cute," Santana declares. "I love that you're dressing in here so he doesn't see your outfit." 

"Do I look okay?" 

"You look hot. Where are you taking him?" 

"To that stupidly expensive French place on twelfth." 

"Really? Wow. You're crazy for him, aren't you?" 

"Pretty much, yeah," Kurt grins, as he straightens the knot in his tie. "He mentioned kids earlier. Only in passing, but you know what? That is something I actually want with him." 

"Kids!" Santana shrieks. "He's only eighteen, Kurt!" 

"I know that, and I'm talking way in the future, but yeah, it's nice to know someone has their heart set on the same thing." 

"Go collect your date," Santana says, kissing his cheek. "Have fun, and tell Blaine momma wants to hear all about it when he comes home." 

"Fuck off." 

"Oh!" Santana calls as he steps into the hall. "So you are still the real Kurt Hummel, then!" 

*

Their date is pretty much as perfect and wonderful as both hoped it would be. It is obvious to anyone who glances at them that they are a young couple in the flushes of new love as they gaze adoringly at one another, holding hands across the table, until Kurt moves his chair altogether, so he is sitting next to Blaine instead, where he can rest his hand on his knee under the table. 

They talk endlessly, about Blaine's school work, Kurt's job, their car, and whether Blaine should try and reach out to his mom, which Kurt thinks he should. 

"You're settled now," Kurt says kindly, when Blaine screws his nose up and turns away. "You're doing well in school, you have college plans, a great relationship, and you and my dad are everyone's favorite bromance- including mine."

"Oh please."

"What? It's cute." 

"He's more than a bromance," Blaine says with distaste. "He's everything."

"Good to know," Kurt replies haughtily, but then breaks into a laugh. "Honestly, you two are cute." 

"Exactly," Blaine grouches. "I have Burt and I have you. I don't need my mom and that jerk she calls a husband."

"You don't need him or those moronic sons of his, no, but you need your mom. Just call her, invite her to visit." 

"I did. She said no." 

"Okay, well….maybe we could visit her?" Kurt offers. "Baltimore isn't all that far from here. You could fly here, then we could rent a car and drive down?"

"I can't take any more time off school," Blaine says, shaking his head. "Besides, that's where Burt thinks I am now. How do I explain that I'm going again? Come to think of it, how do I explain that we're suddenly together again?" 

"I don't know," Kurt answers honestly. "I guess I hadn't really thought about it." 

"No." 

A silence falls, as they both think of Burt back in Lima, living under the misapprehension that Kurt is still isolating himself, and Blaine is in Baltimore trying to build bridges with his mom. 

"I hate myself," Blaine says sadly, after a while, and Kurt reaches out, rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Hey now. We needed this time to work things through. We can keep things quiet for a while, then I'll come home in a few weeks and we can tell him we've talked." 

"I don't know," Blaine says warily. "It's bad enough that I lied, without lying again. Maybe I should just go home and tell him the truth." 

"Oh, what? Hi, guess what? I didn't go to see my mom, I lied to you because I went to visit Kurt, and I knew you'd say I couldn't go?" 

"No, that's not..."

"I've been in New York getting my ass fucked morning, noon and night, while you tell school I'm sick, thinking that I'm actually salvaging my relationship with my mom?" 

"Okay, you're being vulgar and a jerk, so either shut up or I'm leaving," Blaine snaps, and to both their surprise, Kurt backs down immediately. 

"Yes I am, I'm sorry. That's not what this about at all. It's just….it's tough for me. I want dad to believe in me, not put me down all the time." 

"He does," Blaine insists. "Really." 

"Yeah? And if you go back and tell him all that, what do you think he'll say? Cause I know," he carries on, not giving Blaine time to reply. "The first thing he'll do is call me out, saying I made you skip school, and I'm a bad influence." 

Blaine opens his mouth to disagree, but shuts it right away, knowing Kurt is right. "I still don't think he means to put you down," is what he eventually settles on. "He loves you so much, and he wants you to be happy. I think that's why he's hard on you, because he can see that when you act out like you do, it's because you're miserable." 

"I'm not miserable now."

"You're not acting out, either," Blaine points out with a smile. He takes Kurt's hand, kissing the back of it, and looking into his eyes. "Okay. We'll wait to tell him. I don't like the idea of hiding this, but if that's what it takes....and when we do tell him, I also want you to come clean about New York. The apartment, the job, all of it. He will understand, Kurt, honestly." 

"Yeah, okay," Kurt agrees reluctantly, then brightens when Blaine leans in and kisses his cheek. "What was that for?" 

"What does it have to be for?" Blaine asks with a shrug. "You're there, you're hot, and I want to kiss you." 

Their troubles forgotten, the rest of the evening goes smoothly, and that night they spoon together in bed, with Kurt feeling surprisingly okay at playing the little spoon, even if he does have to draw his knees up for Blaine to curl around him. "Night," Blaine murmurs, kissing his bare shoulder. "Thank you for our date." 

"You're very welcome," Kurt replies, smiling into the darkness. 

"My turn next time." 

"Hmm. I'm not even gonna argue," Kurt laughs, then kisses Blaine's fingers before he falls asleep.


	31. Chapter 31

"That was the most humiliating experience of my entire life," Kurt snaps, pulling down his shirt sleeve and storming from the clinic. Blaine hurries behind, holding out Kurt's jacket for him to slide his arms in. "Be careful!" Kurt shouts. "They've stolen all my blood, and now my arm hurts." 

"Sorry. Sorry. It's done now though," Blaine points out mildly. "When do you get the results?" 

"This afternoon, because I've just paid them a ridiculous sum of money to rush them through," Kurt barks, and his mood stays all the way home. 

To be fair, the clinic was not a pleasant place to be. They had arrived and been told to take a seat, but the only option was one chair between two addicts, and another next to a woman who looked extremely pregnant and drunk, so they stayed standing against the wall. Kurt was called in, then sent to the bathroom with a small cup, meaning he had the same humiliating walk of shame back through the waiting area which the addicts had just taken before him. The bathroom was filthy, and Kurt struggled to go at all. He managed eventually, walking back to the reception desk pink cheeked with indignation, which turned into a full on blush when the rather loud clerk called out that Mr. Hummel was back with his urine sample. 

"Thank you for doing this for me," Blaine says quietly, once they're back in the apartment. 

Kurt says nothing, only shrugs and walks into the bedroom, leaving Blaine feeling decidedly out of place until he reappears carrying a large wrapped gift. "Do something for me in return," Kurt says, setting the package on the table. "Open it." 

"What is it?" 

"Your belated birthday gift," Kurt says with a smile. 

Blaine grins when he pulls the same gray sweater from the package that he and Kurt had seen in the Brooks Brothers sale. "You remembered." 

"That day? After I left? I went right to the mall and bought it. I didn't know what the hell I was doing, or why I was buying it when I had no intention of seeing you again, but I guess now I understand."

"I really wanted it," Blaine admits quietly. "But I'm not too good at spending money on myself so….thank you." He kisses Kurt sweetly, before holding the sweater against himself. "I have a red shirt," he thinks out loud. "I'll bet it will look good." 

"Do you have it with you?" 

"Yeah."

"So wear it to NYU," Kurt urges. "That would make me happy." 

"Will it stop you from sulking because someone stole all your blood?" 

Kurt ducks his head, with an embarrassed laugh. "It will." 

*

Blaine tugs nervously on the black bow tie he borrowed from Kurt, and surreptitiously slides closer to him.

"Calm down," Kurt whispers, taking his hand in his. "This is just the campus tour." 

"I know that, but what if she doesn't like me?" he asks, nodding toward the guide.

"It makes no difference. She has no say in who goes here."

"Okay." Blaine nods, but Kurt notices his grip on his fingers tightens, and he all but squeaks in fear when a girl smiles at him. 

"I'm Kelly," she says brightly, and Blaine instantly turns scarlet. 

"Boyfriend," he blurts at her, and the poor girl frowns in confusion. "I have a boyfriend." He raises his and Kurt's clasped hands, then lets them drop lamely, and Kelly looks to Kurt for help, who steps forward to rescue the situation. 

"I'm Kurt, and this is my boyfriend Blaine, who is socially awkward." 

"Oh. I see," Kelly says with a false smile. She takes a tentative step backward, toward a lady whom Kurt assumes is her mom. "And you're not, I assume?" 

"Not awkward, no," Kurt says with a smile. "I'm probably too sociable, which is why I spent the morning getting tested for STD's." 

Blaine stares, horrified, as the girl practically glues herself to her moms side, and walks away quickly. "What?" an oblivious Kurt asks with a shrug. "She seemed nice? Right?" 

"I'm socially awkward?" Blaine asks with a laugh. "I am? You just told a random stranger that you're a slut." 

"I'm your slut though," Kurt says darkly, in a voice which does things to Blaine, and makes it impossible for him to remember his own name when called on, meaning Kurt has to come to his rescue once again. 

Blaine relaxes slightly once the tour is over, having basically decided that whatever he has to study, he will be moving here come fall. Kurt seems happy too, holding his hand proudly as they walk the short distance to the engineering building to meet with Professor Scarbo. 

"Okay. Ready?" Kurt asks, slightly concerned that Blaine looks green.

"No. Oh my goodness, Kurt, I can't do this."

"You can. Professor Scarbo is a lovely man, really. He'll put you right at ease." 

He is indeed very kind and welcoming, giving Blaine and Kurt a quick tour of the faculty before showing them into his office and inviting them to take a seat. "So, Blaine. I took the liberty of contacting the school and asking for your academic records. Very impressive, I must say." 

"The-the school?" Blaine asks nervously. "Is that...do they know I'm here? That you're meeting with me?" 

"Oh no," the professor answers with a laugh. "Since I'm not supposed to really be meeting with you. It could be classed as showing preference. I just said you were an applicant, and I needed to screen a few details. Don't worry." 

"That's good," Kurt interjects. "Because he's skipping school to be here." 

"Will you shut up?" Blaine hisses, but all professor Scarbo does is laugh. 

"As long as your grades don't suffer, which I'm sure they won't. Tell me Blaine, what made you decide on mechanical engineering?" 

Blaine is off, and all Kurt can do is look on in stunned yet proud amazement as he recounts the story of meeting Burt and starting work on Bessie. His whole face lights up as he describes the way in which he was so fascinated with the mechanics of her engine, and Kurt realizes how much Blaine not only loves his dad, but also owes him so much, for it was Burt Hummel who had inspired his enthusiasm, patiently taught him mechanics step by step, and nurtured his love for engines by letting him work on Bessie and also at the garage, which Professor Scarbo is impressed by. 

"So where do you see this degree taking you?" 

"Um...I know what I'd like to do," Blaine says quietly. "I'd like to work for NASA." 

"What? You wanna go into space? No way!" Kurt shrieks, but Blaine quickly covers his hand with his own. 

"No. I do not want to go into space. I'd like to be an engineer for them though, working on the design and mechanics of spacecraft engines." 

"I didn't know this. Why didn't I know this?" Kurt asks, shocked. 

"Because you're usually too busy either hitting on me, or being mean," Blaine says under his breath, turning his attentions back to the desk when professor Scarbo claps his hands. 

"Boys! If we could keep this professional for a moment. Blaine, I think that sounds very noble, and certainly if you were to do as well here as you've done in high school, it could be a very real possibility. You have to be warned though, that is an incredibly tough field to get into; you would have to start right at the bottom and work your way up, if you were lucky enough to get in the program in the first place. You would need to take our four year degree program, and NASA also like applicants to hold a masters or doctorate, though if you were able to prove your worth they might be willing to overlook that in favor of getting you on board early." 

"I understand," Blaine says seriously. "And I promise I will work hard." 

"I think you could do it," Professor Scarbo says with a nod. "But what I am saying to you is study, study and yet more study." 

"Yes sir." 

"And I hope to see your application on my desk within the week. If you're going to be a NASA engineer I want that credit for myself, and this university, not anywhere else, you hear?"

"Yes sir," Blaine nods. "I promise I'll apply right away." 

Kurt and Blaine walk slowly towards the nearest coffee shop in the cold winter sunshine, with Blaine stunned at how much he enjoyed talking with the professor, and Kurt quietly contemplating.

"You're quite the geek, aren't you?" he asks, once they have their drinks and are settled in armchairs near the window. 

Blaine blushes pink and ducks his head, feeling suddenly shy. "I'm not like....a total nerd. But I do like to study, and work hard. I genuinely enjoy it. Why?" he asks, looking up. "Is that....is it going to be a problem?"

"No! No, not at all," Kurt reassures, reaching out and resting his hand on his knee. "It's hot." 

"Oh please." 

"It is!" Kurt insists, moving closer and lowering his voice. "I don't know....hearing you talk with so much passion for something, knowing how much you want it....yeah. Hot. It makes me want things." 

Blaine is practically on fire by this point, but he does manage to clear his throat, and look up, making and holding eye contact. "I always want things with you," he manages, in a voice which wavers slightly. "It's just...." 

"The results? I'll call in an hour."

"No, not that. I feel like..." he leans in close, talking in almost a whisper as he does so. "I feel like I should cherish you, because you're so special, but in all honesty I want to just rip our clothes off and have you take me hard and rough." 

"Oh." It becomes Kurt's turn to blush, but with longing and excitement rather than embarrassment. "That's okay." 

"It's not though," Blaine counters, taking a hold of Kurt's hand and kissing it. "Because at Christmas, when it was rough like that, afterward, I felt terrible, like I just used you for my frustrations, and I feel like now that we're together, like that's maybe...not acceptable." 

"We used each other, and it wasn't our finest moment," Kurt says gently. "But it did prompt me to do a lot of thinking. Blaine, it's perfectly okay to admit that you have desires. If we just took things sweet and slow all the time, it'd get pretty boring after a while." 

"I have this...I don't know, fantasy, maybe? More like an image in my head." He carries on, before Kurt can suggest he holds back until they're home. "You, bending me over, and fucking me so damn hard that we're left in a sweaty mess." 

"Blaine!" It comes out as more of a whine of desperation, and Kurt is on his feet immediately, phone in hand. "Let's go. I'll call the clinic on the way home." 

Still seated, Blaine watches Kurt as he walks toward the doorway, looking sinfully good in electric blue jeans. 'Sometimes, I want to bend you over too, and fuck you into the middle of next week,' he thinks to himself, and Kurt whirls around on the spot sharply, as other customers look up in alarm.

"Inside voice!" Kurt sighs in despair, then laughs, tugging his deeply embarrassed boyfriend out onto the street where they run to the nearest subway station.

*

"All clear," Kurt grins, when his call is done, and they're walking the short distance from the subway to Kurt's apartment. "So if I catch anything now, I'll know who to blame." 

"Very funny," Blaine says with a smile, relieved that the results are back. "So...."

"So, it's your call," Kurt shrugs. "I can pin you down and take you with or without condoms, but either way my balls are turning blue, and we need to get started." 

"Without," Blaine says decisively, and in a surprise move, he fists Kurt's jacket and draws him close, kissing him roughly. "Take me hard." 

"I'm gonna come in my pants if we stay out here," Kurt moans, rushing down the street and fumbling for his keys. "Get inside." 

By the time they are up the stairs, Blaine's resolve is faltering somewhat, as Kurt unlocks the door and throws his jacket on a hook. "You okay there?" 

"Yeah. Just...dunno really," Blaine says with a shrug. "How rough is rough? Like, I know what I mean, but I don't know what you mean, and I'm kinda new to the whole...." 

"Blaine, relax," Kurt says with a laugh, winding his arms around him, and kissing him gently. "Don't overthink things. I'm not gonna hurt you in anyway, and if all you wanna do is sit down and watch TV, that's fine by me too." 

"That is not all I want to do," Blaine laughs, relaxing a little in Kurt's arms. 

"Well....good."

"But you just said..."

"Meh, who am I kidding? C'mon. Get undressed and lie down on the bed." 

"What?" Blaine asks in alarm, envisioning handcuffs, whips and chains. "What for?"

"A massage, dummy. To help you relax." 

The feel of Kurt's hands roaming over his back doesn't necessarily relax Blaine, more like it makes him feel hopelessly horny and turned on, especially when Kurt's hands move lower and start working over the top of his ass. He moans loudly at the feel of Kurt's lips kissing a line along his lower back, and manages to forget all his inhibitions by drawing his knees up under himself, effectively presenting himself to Kurt, who groans and bites his lip. 

"You just....you have no idea, Blaine, how damn sexy you are."

"Show me," he whispers, his head sideways on the pillow. "Show me how much you want me." 

The first kiss comes, right at the very top of his ass, and the feeling of Kurt's breath there makes him shudder with delight. "Tell me to stop if it’s too much," Kurt whispers, then runs his tongue from his balls up to his entrance, teasing and pushing gently. 

"Oh fuck!" Blaine cries loudly, nearly slamming into the headboard in surprise. "Sorry," he says, quieter this time. "You have neighbors." 

"Not on that side I don't," Kurt says darkly, coming up to drape his body over Blaine's back. "Let go. Be as loud as you like. All that's gonna hear you is the stone wall. Give yourself over to pleasure, Blaine, it's amazing." 

Blaine does so, unable to stop himself from crying out loudly at the feeling of Kurt's tongue and fingers opening him, stretching him wider each time until he's a desperate writhing mess and begging for Kurt to take him. 

"I need you," he cries, lifting his head and fisting the pillow, while Kurt's fingers work inside him. 

"Yeah? What do you need?" Kurt asks, pausing to bite at his shoulder. "Tell me, Blaine." 

"I need you to fuck me. I need to feel you moving inside me, I need to feel you come in my ass, Kurt, please!" 

"Hmm. I like it when you beg," Kurt grins, and pulls his fingers back. "In the living room, then. The bed's too soft, and there's not enough room on this floor." 

Blaine screams loudly when Kurt bends him over and thrusts hard and deep, but like this, on all fours in the middle of the living room, with Kurt's fingers digging into his hips, Blaine realizes that it's okay to want your boyfriend like this. Better, in fact, because the times they had shared before that were rough and frantic had inevitably led to some kind of meltdown afterward, but this time, it wouldn't. 

"Oh yes, Kurt! Yes!" 

"Talk to me, Blaine," Kurt gets out from between gritted teeth, as he fucks Blaine harder and harder. "Tell me how much you like feeling me in your ass." 

"I don't know if..."

"You can," Kurt orders, his hand coming down hard on one of Blaine's ass cheeks, and damn, if that isn't deeply erotic and the best possible feeling of pain and pleasure combined, making Blaine cry out and push back, seeking more. 

"I love it," Blaine starts tentatively, biting his tongue at the feeling of another smack. "Oh fuck. Yes! I love feeling you inside me, Kurt, making me yours." 

"Mine....yes, Blaine. Mine." 

"I'm yours," Blaine whimpers, and Kurt's fingers grip him harder. "Yours. Wanna feel you long after you've stopped, Kurt. Make me hurt." 

"Fuck...yeah. Can do that.....fuck you so hard." 

"Need you to touch me," Blaine shouts loudly, when Kurt spanks him again. "Wanna come with you inside me."

"Together," Kurt instructs, reaching for Blaine's cock and stroking it quickly. 

"Oh Kurt!" Blaine can feel himself teetering on the edge, and he knows he's going to come harder than he ever has, the second Kurt lets him. "Fucking fuck! I'm gonna....oh shit, Kurt!"

"I've got you," Kurt whispers, quickly leaning down, and kissing his shoulder. "I've got you Blaine, it's okay. Come for me, beautiful. Come." 

Blaine lets out a choked off cry, which was possibly an attempt at Kurt's name, as he spills over and over again into Kurt's fist. The feeling of Kurt filling him up, pushing deep inside and holding him in place, is overwhelming, and Blaine tries to drop his body down onto the rug, but Kurt is having none of it. He withdraws slowly and kneels behind him, one hand smoothing gently over Blaine's back, and then his mouth is on him, his tongue running inside his still stretched entrance and licking him clean. 

Blaine moans brokenly, unable to take anymore, and he bats weakly at Kurt's shoulder, until satisfied, he pulls away, and tugs Blaine down onto the floor. "You okay? You were cursing like crazy. Well, for you, anyway." 

"I might be dead," Blaine whispers, curling up on his side for Kurt to spoon behind him. "Damn." 

"You know, when you just relax and go with it, we have a lot more fun." 

"I know that."

"I can teach you things." 

"I know that too, but I think that's my problem. I want to be on the same level as you, and I'm just not. Not with stuff like that. So I try to keep it loving and pure, because I feel like that's the side we can explore together. I don't want you to be with me, how you were with them."

"Blaine." Kurt turns him so they're face to face, albeit reluctantly on Blaine's part, who feels embarrassed. "It's never, ever gonna be like that between us. It never has been. Even that desperate sixty nine on Christmas held more love and meaning for me than any of those encounters ever have. Please try to trust me."

"I do!" Blaine says quickly. "I do trust you. I know you're not gonna cheat on me." 

"Trust me when I say you're the one for me, then," Kurt says with a sad smile. "That next week, when you're gone, I'm gonna cry myself to sleep every damn night, because I'll miss you so much." 

"Oh god, don't say that!" Blaine cries, kissing Kurt's lips. "We'll be together again soon, right? And I still have three more nights." 

"Wanna go out tonight? Hit a few bars?" 

"Not really," Blaine shrugs. "I mean, I'm not adverse to doing that with you, but for a start, I'm not sure if I can actually walk."

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Blaine grins, his eyes sparkling. "It was amazing. I'd rather just stay here tonight, if that's okay?" 

"That is totally fine," Kurt says, secretly relieved. He can't get enough of Blaine being naked in his apartment, lying in his bed, holding him, and he really doesn't want to go out and be sociable. 

"You can uh....teach me some more, if you'd like." 

Kurt grins broadly, kissing Blaine's cheek, which holds the faintest hint of a blush. "I'd love to."


	32. Chapter 32

Blaine wakes and stretches slowly, feeling the dull ache of yesterday's activities throbbing through him and he rolls onto his front instead. He knows Kurt is already at work, and he smiles at the note on the pillow next to him, then picks it up. 

_Good morning, beautiful. I think, that, along with bastard, will be my pet name for you. Anyway. Meet me at 1. Help yourself to anything you want in the meantime. I miss you a stupid amount already, but don't tell anyone._

_Love._

_Kisses._

_Blowjobs._

_Kurt xxx_

Blaine laughs loudly, then pulls on his pajama pants, and wanders into the living room, where Santana sits on the couch, eating cereal. "The fuck?" he cries, covering his chest and cowering against the wall. "Who let you in?" 

"I let myself in," she says nonchalantly. "I always eat Kurt's food. He's at work, by the way." 

"I know that." 

"So momma's gonna take care of you," she purrs, eyeing him up and down. 

Blaine knows she's a lesbian, but he still feels oddly objectified at the way she rakes her eyes over him, and he swallows hard, forgetting all about food in favor of heading to the bathroom to hide. "I really don't need taking care of," he says weakly. "I'll just watch TV until it's time to go meet him." 

"Tough. Momma wants a baby, and that baby is you. Now take a shower, cutie pie, and then our day can get started." 

*

Two hours later, and Blaine is ready to scream. Yes, Santana is kind to him, and attentive, but she also insists on stroking his hair, and trying to hold his hand. She also calls herself his momma, and refers to herself in the third person at every opportunity, including calling to him across the park, telling him to be a good boy while momma uses the bathroom. 

"Come on, momma's gonna take you for hot chocolate," she declares. "Keep my baby warm inside." 

"Okay, enough!" Blaine yells loudly, startling passers by on the street. "I am NOT a baby, and you are NOT my mother! God knows if you were, you'd be in Baltimore, ignoring me and trying to pretend I didn't exist. Just....I don't know! Just, either leave me alone, or try to get to know me. We have one thing in common, and that is Kurt. Other than that we know nothing about each other, except you seem to have some kind of baby fetish for me, which I wish you'd get over." 

Santana stands, stunned and staring. Eventually, she straightens her jacket, gives a crisp nod and tosses her hair over her shoulder. "Fine. Let's go to the coffee house. It's nearly time for Kurt to knock off anyway." 

She is silent the rest of the way until they stop outside, and she pauses with her hand on the door. "If Kurt is different....just....well, don't let him be, okay? Don't let him be dismissive, or treat you like dirt because he's embarrassed." 

"Kurt's embarrassed by me? He's ashamed?" Blaine asks, feeling suddenly sick with nerves. 

"Oh, sweetie, no," Santana says, trying to take his hand, but then thinking better of it. "I mean, no. No, he's not ashamed at all. Please don't think that. It's just....the people here know a very different Kurt to the one you do, and he will be embarrassed to show his vulnerability here, that's all. What I'm saying is, be firm. Stand up for yourself, like you did with me in the park, because that's what Kurt needs, even if he doesn't know it yet." 

She pushes open the door and they enter into a crowded, steam filled coffee house, which holds the most delicious smells. "Move," she yells, at a couple sitting at a small table by the window, and Blaine is surprised when they do so without question. "Kurt!" she calls loudly, and Blaine looks around to see Kurt emerging from the back, a black apron tied around his waist. 

"What do you want?" he snaps, marching over to their table. 

"Drinks," Santana answers, stating the obvious, and Kurt rolls his eyes. 

"Fine." 

"Uh...Kurt? Hello?"

He turns back to give Blaine a small nod, before disappearing, talking briefly to a girl behind the counter, then heading into the back again. 

"What the hell?" Blaine asks Santana, who shrugs, and fiddles with the packets of sugar on the table. 

"I told you. Don't let him be this way. Inside, he's thrilled that you're here, and I know he told you that he wanted to introduce you. It's just difficult for him, that's all."

"I hate this side of him," Blaine mumbles, his eyes downcast.

"You don't though," Santana tells him, causing him to look up again in surprise. "If you did, you'd never have fallen for him in the first place. You might not choose to acknowledge it, but you're just as drawn to Kurt's bad and mean sides as you are to the loving, affectionate side he shows you, because without them, he wouldn't be Kurt." 

Blaine's silence is resounding, and Santana quirks an eyebrow in response. "I know I'm right," she says smugly. "I also know that you two will be like this forever. You'll be one of those couples, once things have settled down, who bicker fondly because you love each other so much, but you've gotta be strong enough to call him out, Blaine, or else he'll walk all over you." 

The girl from the counter arrives with their drinks just then, and Blaine looks meekly at the mocha set in front of him. He'd have preferred a medium drip, which is his usual order, but then Kurt hadn't asked what he wanted, so...

"Hey Tana," the girl smiles. "How are you?"

"Good. Stephanie, this is Blaine, Kurt's boyfriend." 

"Hi. Nice to....wait, what?" Stephanie asks, frowning. "Kurt has a....seriously?" 

"Uh....yeah," Blaine says quietly, dismayed that Kurt obviously hasn't mentioned him. 

"Kurt!" Stephanie shrieks, and he emerges, walking reluctantly over to their table.

"What?"

"You didn't tell me you were dating this hottie!" 

"Yeah, I um...kinda am." 

A sharp kick from Santana prompts Blaine into action. "Excuse me?" he says, scraping back his chair and standing. "You're kind of dating me? You flew me to New York and told me you wanted to be with me, after two damn years of messing with my head. You told me you wanted to introduce me to your work buddies, and yet now that I'm here you're...what, Kurt? Embarrassed by me? Why? Because I'm only eighteen? Because being seen with me somehow damages your reputation as some kind of stud? Because admitting that you actually have feelings for someone might paint you as a real human who cares?" 

"Um..." a very surprised Kurt starts, as an impressed Santana and an intrigued Stephanie look on. "It's not...." 

"Kurt, it's not that hard to say that you care, and to be proud to be with me. If you can't then...well then, we're done, I guess," Blaine says sadly. "Because I want someone who isn't afraid to hold my hand, and tell people that he's mine." 

"Oh fuck you," Kurt snaps and surges forward, seizing Blaine's face in his hands. "You’re so beautiful. Bastard." He kisses him deeply, lovingly and he sighs contentedly when he feels Blaine kissing back. He moves his hands from Blaine's face to his hair, and when the kiss breaks, he rests their foreheads together for a brief moment, before turning back to Stephanie. 

"This is my boyfriend, Blaine. He's visiting for a few days, and yeah...he's awesome. Just...really amazing." 

"Cute!" Stephanie squeaks delightedly, clapping her hands together. "I've been waiting for you to find someone." 

"Haven't we all?" a guy calls from behind the counter, and Blaine realizes that all the staff have been listening in and watching them kiss. 

"Yeah well, it's finally happened," Kurt smiles, kissing Blaine's cheek. "Kurt Hummel is taken." 

"I didn't upset you, did I?" Blaine whispers, as everyone else goes back to work. "I didn't want to..."

"No, you didn't," Kurt whispers back. "You just reminded me why I want to be with you. Now let me go grab my stuff and then we'll head to Marie Claire, where I promise you I will introduce you as my boyfriend right away." 

"Okay," Blaine grins. "Oh, and Kurt? Next time, I'll have a medium drip, thanks." 

"Was I mean?" Blaine asks Santana in a panic, as soon as Kurt is gone. "I didn't want to be mean, but he made me mad and..." 

"Blaine. You are freaking adorable. I'm sorry for the whole momma thing, but hell, I've only spoken with you twice, and I'm almost as in love with you as he is. You were not mean, you stood up for yourself, and that's okay. That is just what Kurt needed. Keep doing it," Santana urges, "because each time you do, you earn his respect, and he also gets a reminder that he's not the king of the universe." 

"Thank you," Blaine says quietly. "For the advice and stuff."

"You're welcome," Santana says with a smile, as she stands and picks up her purse. "Now I've gotta run. Can I like....pet you a little bit before I go?" 

"Not in public, no," Blaine says, blushing furiously. "But you can come over and smooth my hair later, if you'd like." 

"Ooh, thank you!" she calls, blowing a kiss, before she disappears. 

* 

"I was impressed," Kurt says, as they walk through the park. He takes Blaine's hand in his, as if it were the most natural thing in the entire world, and not really something that still made their hearts pound with happiness. 

"You called me a bastard." 

"I also called you beautiful," Kurt points out. "Anyway, I told you, it's a term of endearment. I like the confident you, you know. I mean, I like the sweet and shy you as well, but when you stand firm like that….makes me wonder what else you could dominate." 

"Ha! Well...maybe. Yeah. I've taken the lead before," Blaine reminds him, and Kurt nods enthusiastically. 

"You have, and let me tell you, it's entirely welcome. I don't say that lightly, either." 

"I can imagine you don't," Blaine laughs. "So, maybe we could switch?" 

"Um...." Kurt stops, pulling Blaine onto a bench, and keeping a tight hold on his hand. "I don't...I don't know if I'll ever want to do that. If I'll ever be comfortable enough," he tells him honestly. "Sometimes I like the thought, but...I don't know. I find it incredibly hard to be vulnerable, and for me, that will be biggest thing of all, to allow someone to do that to me." 

"It's me, Kurt, not just someone, but that's okay," Blaine reassures, letting his fingers lightly graze his cheek. "If you decide to try it in six months, six years, or never at all, it doesn't matter, just as long as we're together and happy." 

"You said you wanted to do it all with me," Kurt says quietly, sadly. "I remember." 

"I do, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna force the issue. It's all very well standing up for myself, but I would never pressure you into doing something you didn't want to. You've never done that with me, even though you could have." 

"But what if it is never?" Kurt asks fearfully. "Will you want to try it, and end up sleeping with someone else?" 

"No, because being with you, making love with you, is amazing and wonderful and I know I'll never tire of feeling you inside me. You talk about being vulnerable, well, I didn't find it easy to give myself to you that first time we went on a date. I still don't, sometimes. I had to let you in, to trust you with my body and soul, that were both stripped naked. I just wouldn't want to do that with anyone else." 

"Bastard." 

"Thank you." 

"You make everything okay." 

"That's kind of the point of being your boyfriend," Blaine says, as he takes Kurt in his arms. "I told you I'd do the best I could." 

"You're doing amazingly. Ready for me to show you off?" 

"I don't know," Blaine says, suddenly nervous. "They're all gonna be these fashion types, and I'm..."

"Beautiful," Kurt says, tugging him to his feet. "Now let's do this, and then get home so I can worship you like you deserve." 

*

It’s strange for Blaine, to see Kurt in the offices of Marie Claire. He is very much the underdog, but in a shy, nervous kind of way. Certainly everyone seems to like him, but he reminds Blaine of himself as he nervously clings to Blaine's hand and introduces him. 

"This is my boss, Sarah," Kurt says of a tall woman, with masses of chestnut curls. "Sarah, this is my partner, Blaine. He's in town for a few days to check out NYU, and for us to spend time together." 

"Then what are you doing here?" she cries, getting out of her seat, to hug them both warmly. "Go! Explore the city! Be loved up and sickening!" 

"Oh we will," Kurt laughs. "I just needed to finish something." 

"Do it at home," Sarah says, with a dismissive wave of her hand. "While this one sits naked on your lap, eating leftover Chinese or something. Damn. I hate being single." 

Blaine blushes bright red, but so does Kurt, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Yeah, um….my laptop is kinda dead now so….anyway. I'll be in next Wednesday, as usual."

"Okay. Well, have fun. It's nice to meet you, Blaine." 

"You too," he smiles, while keeping hold of Kurt's hand, and smoothing his thumb over the back of it. "Kurt really loves working here, so..."

"And we love having him. He's wonderful. Speaking of..." She closes her office door, and lowers her voice, talking directly to Kurt. "You didn't hear this from me, but Lyla is pregnant and will be leaving at the end of May. She's not coming back, either. You need to apply for her job, Kurt. Full time, with your own column that runs online and in print. Please tell me you will." 

"Oh. I um.. I don't know if I..."

"He will," Blaine says swiftly. "I'll make sure he will, because his writing is amazing." 

"Exactly!" Sarah cries, throwing her hands up. "He needs to be heard. I like you already. And your bow ties." 

They say their polite goodbyes, and head out through the large open plan office. "What did you do that for?" Kurt mutters angrily, staring straight ahead. 

"Because I believe in you. Did I do wrong?" 

"No, it's just... I don't believe in me, I guess." 

"Hi Kurt! Oh, did I miss you? Are you going?" 

The voice makes Blaine turn around, and immediately his blood runs cold. He knows who Jason is, because Kurt has told him he's the only other male in the office, and that he's also gay, but he wasn't expecting him to be so good looking. Blaine is also surprised by how threatened he feels, and how protective he feels toward Kurt, as he discreetly slides an arm around his waist and pulls him close. 

"Hi Jason, yeah, we're just leaving," Kurt says with a smile. "This is Blaine, my partner." 

"Not business partner," Blaine feels the need to say, puffing his chest out, and using his other hand to rest on Kurt's shoulder. "Partner, partner. Lover. Boyfriend." 

"Yeah, I know I that," Jason laughs, all blond hair, blue eyes and teeth. "He told me he was gonna try and win you back. Glad to see it paid off, Kurt. Nice to meet you, Blaine." 

"Yeah, same," Blaine says, though he really doesn't mean it. "Anyway, we have to go, cause...well, y'know."

"I'm sure I do," Jason says with a wink. "Hey, Kurt? When you're back, I need to ask your advice about Daniel, from the deli." 

"Again?" Kurt laughs, shaking his head. "Sure. I'll see you next week." 

*

"What even was that?" Kurt asks, as soon as they're out on the street. "Were you jealous?" 

"No," Blaine lies. "I just wanted him to know you're not available, that's all." 

"He knows anyway, but it makes no difference. The whole time I have been single, and he has been too, neither one of us has been remotely interested in the other. It's always been you, I told you that. Two fucking years of it." 

"Well, you don't have to sound so pleased," Blaine huffs, but Kurt catches him around the waist, and kisses his cheek. 

"I am, you know I am. I'm just pointing out that you have no reason to feel jealous of Jason." 

"He's stupidly good looking. It's ridiculous," Blaine pouts.

"He's not as stunning as you." 

"You're just saying that." 

"I'm not," Kurt says, trying not to laugh at Blaine's surliness. He drapes his arms over his shoulders, right in the middle of the street, and kisses the tip of his nose. "There's nothing between us. He's just a friend. Anyway, you have more reason to be upset by the guy in the diner the other day. I actually slept with him.....or he says I did, anyway." 

"That doesn't bother me, because he's not in the picture. Jason is, with his tan, and his muscles, and his....tallness. You're seeing him all the time, while I'm back in Ohio. He can work on you, chip away, until you crumble." 

"I crumbled the second you walked through that arrivals gate, you fool," Kurt says kindly. "I'm yours. Always. I don't want him, I want a real man."

"Best look for someone else then." 

"Shut up. I want a guy, five eight, with stupidly gorgeous hair, kissable lips, drownable eyes, even though that isn't a word, who goes by the name of Blaine." 

"I don't know any of those." 

"And this guy? This Blaine? I want him to ride me tonight." 

"Oh, me? Do you mean me? I could do that," Blaine says with a shrug, which makes Kurt laugh. "I'm sorry. I was jealous. I am jealous. I don't want to go home and leave you behind." 

"I know. But you'll be here soon, and in the meantime, I think we should make the most of our time together." 

But it seems like no time at all before Blaine is standing in departures at JFK, trying not to breakdown into ugly, childlike sobs at the thought of having to say goodbye and board that plane. 

"I don't know what to say," Kurt admits, holding Blaine's hands loosely in his. He stares down at the ground, wanting to be strong enough to look up, yet seemingly unable. "Maybe having you visit was dumb, because now you've got to leave." 

"Kurt, you've made some pretty stupid decisions in your life, but buying that plane ticket was the smartest thing you've ever done." 

"I'll call, you know," Kurt says suddenly, lifting his head, and looking earnestly into Blaine's eyes. "I know I've said that like, a thousand and one times to you, but this time, I promise I will." 

"I know you will," Blaine says softly. "Things are different now." 

"We can FaceTime too, over my phone?" 

"Sure." 

"Blaine, I gotta be honest, it's gonna be a while before I can take the time to fly home again." 

Blaine shrugs, disappointed, but trying not to let it show. "It's okay, I understand." 

"That doesn't change anything between us though, okay? We're still together." 

"Yes," Blaine says firmly, and giving into his desires- which is something he is fast learning to appreciate doing- he cups Kurt's cheek and kisses him lovingly. "I should go." 

"I know. Blaine...I don't want to say goodbye, so I'll just say thank you for boarding that plane on Tuesday, cause you've turned my life around in the best possible way." 

"There you go again, stealing all the best words," Blaine teases gently, as they stand in one another's arms. "What am I supposed to say to that, except, same?"

"You are beautiful," Kurt carries on, completely enraptured, as he gazes at Blaine's face. "I..."

"Don't." Blaine cuts him off quickly, a finger over his lips. "Save it." 

"Save it?" 

"For a happier time?" he offers, with a sad smile. "Let's just make this work now, make us work, with all the distance between us, and then maybe, when we're reunited...." 

"Okay," Kurt nods, then closes his eyes, when Blaine's flight is announced. "Okay. You have to go, but...you know when you arrived, I told you I had fallen for you? Well, I didn't realize I was still falling." 

Blaine kisses him again, because his brain can't form words, and he hopes the gentle touch of his lips on Kurt's will convey enough meaning before he steps reluctantly from the sanctity of his embrace, and picks up his bag. 

"Don't cry," Kurt whispers, chasing after him and kissing him again. 

"I won't," Blaine promises, though his eyes swim with tears. "Well, I will, but not here and now." 

"Same. I'm not saying goodbye," Kurt says, as Blaine slowly backs away. "I'm just saying I miss your lips already...among other things." 

Blaine grins and blows a kiss, the distance between them now several feet as he heads toward the departure gate. "I'll see you soon." 

Neither one wants to turn away, but when Blaine backs into a trash can, he gives in, and looks where he's going instead, trying desperately to hold it all together. 

Kurt sighs and turns, his shoulders slumping as he heads towards the exit, and then suddenly he hears "Kurt!" and he whirls around on the spot to see Blaine calling to him from right by the gate. 

"I can still feel you!" Blaine says loudly, as he grins insanely. "When I walk. And that's not my inside voice." 

Kurt ducks his head, laughing in disbelief before looking up to find several people staring at them. He knows his face is on fire, but all he can do is laugh. "You bastard!" he calls back, happy when he hears Blaine laugh loudly. "I hate you!" 

"Yeah, I hate you more!" Blaine calls back, blowing a kiss before flashing his ticket at the rather startled clerk, and then he heads through the doors and is gone.


	33. Chapter 33

Blaine arrives home to an empty house, and takes advantage of the silence to lie morosely on his bed, replying to the text messages he got from Kurt while he was in the air. He must fall asleep at some point, because when he wakes his room is dim, the early evening darkness just starting to creep in. 

The house is still quiet, so he climbs the stairs then takes in a sharp breath when he sees Burt standing in the kitchen, leaning against the counter. 

"Oh! Hi! I didn't know you were home," Blaine says, caught off guard. He flips the lights on and gives a half hearted smile. "I um...I got home a while ago, so.... I'll start dinner." 

"Good trip?" 

Blaine is startled and immediately worried by Burt's cold tone, and he moves around to the other side of the counter to take items from the fridge. "Uh...yeah. Thanks." 

"Where were you?" 

Blaine freezes, his head inside the fridge. His heart starts to pound as the panic inside him rises, and he grabs the steak without thinking, spinning around and giving a bright smile. "In Baltimore. You know that." 

"Where were you?" Burt asks again, and Blaine slides the tray of meat onto the counter and repeats himself again, but in a much quieter tone. "I was in Baltimore." 

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Burt thunders, slamming his hands down on the counter. "Because I've had to lie for you, and the least you could do is show me some respect! Now tell me where you were!" 

Blaine cowers back against the fridge and for a moment Burt wants to soften, seeing how truly terrified the poor kid is, but then he remembers the days of worry and upset he's had, and glares at him harder. 

"You had to lie for me?" Blaine asks in a whisper.

"Your mom called." 

"She.....what?" Figures, Blaine thinks to himself. Of course she would choose now to suddenly show an interest.

"I'm damn glad she did!" Burt snaps as Blaine berates himself yet again for speaking aloud without knowing. “Let me tell you how this little scene played out, seeing as how you’re suddenly rendered speechless.” 

Blaine stays standing, his back against the fridge, as Burt leans against the counter, folding his arms, and Blaine thinks he’s never seen him look so angry. “You take off on Tuesday, and the whole time I’m panicking, okay? I’m thinking to myself that maybe this was a bad idea, and I’m worried about you staying in a house with those boys again. I text you, and then at midnight I get a quick reply, saying everything is fine. Well you know me, I worry. Is everything fine? Or are you just saying that, so that I won’t worry? I barely sleep that night, and then the next morning I text you again. I get no reply, so by the time I get home from work I'm in a total panic, convinced they were bullying you, and your mom wasn’t intervening. I even pulled up the google to look for flights.”

“It's just google,” Blaine says quietly. “Not ‘the’ google.”

“Really, Blaine? You wanna try that right now? Cause you didn’t reply to me for twelve freaking hours, Blaine, and when you did, all it said was, ‘everything is fantastic, see you Sunday.’ So I figure I have to trust that if you needed me you’d call, right? That’s what I tell myself. Blaine’s my boy, he’d be honest, he’d tell me if something was wrong. Thursday after dinner the phone rings, and it's Angie. I felt sick, Blaine. Sick. I thought she was calling to tell me something bad had happened, but no, she was asking to speak to you.”

“Did you tell her?”

“How could I?” Burt shouts. “How do I begin to explain that I’ve let her son fly off somewhere and I haven’t bothered to check it out? How do I tell her that I’m also lying to the school, telling them you’re sick, because I assumed you were trying to mend your relationship with her? I told her what I told school, that you had the stomach flu, and weren’t up to talking, and FYI, she’s called every damn day since, wanting to know how you are. So you tell me where you were, Blaine, cause I have a pretty clear idea, but I’d still like to hear you say it.”

“I went to New York.”

“Uh-huh, and was this you chasing Kurt, or the other way around?”

“It was him. He sent me the tickets. I stayed with him.”

“You didn’t have sex with him, did you, Blaine? Please, tell me you weren’t that stupid.” 

“We uh....”

"Oh Jesus CHRIST BLAINE!" Burt roars, running a hand despairingly over his head. "That's it now, you realize? You've given him all he wanted, you've flown across the country to satisfy his demands, and now he'll drop you again before coming back for more and the whole sorry mess starts all over again." 

"No, no, it's not like that!" Blaine rushes out imploringly, as he grasps the other side of the counter. "Kurt loves me, I know he does." 

"Has he said that?" 

"No, because I told him to save it, but..."

"The only person Kurt truly loves is himself," Burt snaps harshly. "If he loved you, he wouldn't have even entertained the idea of you skipping a week of school to lie in bed with him." 

"It wasn't like that!" Blaine shouts, and this time it is Burt's turn to do a double take at the volume. "He sent me those tickets because he wanted to tell me how he feels, and he wanted to do it face to face. He wants me, Burt. He wants to be with me for all eternity, and that's exactly what I want too." 

"You're eighteen!" Burt cries, turning red with anger. "How the hell can you decide something like that?" 

"Because I love him! I just know I won't ever want anyone else, and Kurt.....he admitted to so many faults, and he wants this to work just as much as I do. He was amazing," Blaine says softly, briefly allowing a small smile to light up his face. "He showed me the city, I met his friends, visited his work....he even took me on a campus tour of NYU, and arranged for me to meet with a professor there. Would he really have done that if all he wanted was sex?" 

"You met with a professor? You do realize that's probably one of his many conquests, right?" 

Blaine leans on the counter, his eyes darkening as he glares at Burt. "Shut up." 

"What did you just say to me, young man?" 

"I said shut up. That is your son! Do you know that he thinks you have no faith in him? That I tried to convince him we should tell you about all this, but he begged me not to, because he knew this would be your reaction? Do you know that every damn thing he does that's good in his life, he does to make you proud? Do you? All you ever seem to do is put Kurt down. Yes, he has major flaws, but so do you, and so do I. None of us are perfect, but you know what makes Kurt better than you in all this? He's trying to be a better man." 

"Go to your room," Burt snaps, turning his back. "I won't be spoken to like that." 

"Fine," Blaine huffs, storming toward the door. "I don't want to be around you right now anyway." 

* 

Blaine is surprised when he texts Kurt that his phone rings right away with a FaceTime request, which he accepts, and gives a sad smile as Kurt's face appears. 

"I needed to see you," Kurt says, reaching out as if to touch him. "It's been six miserable hours." 

"I know." 

"And now this. Wanna fill me in?" 

Blaine talks quietly, telling Kurt all the details, and as he does so, he realizes why Burt was so worried, and also the magnitude of what he's done for him. He also comes to realize that though he might not have spoken to Burt in the best way, he doesn't regret what he said about his treatment of Kurt, either. 

"So what now?" Kurt asks with a sigh. "You're in your room, he's up there sulking, what are you gonna do?" 

"I don't know," Blaine admits. "Ordinarily, I'm the type who would go and apologize, but actually, I think he needed to hear it. I'm sorry for lying, I guess, and I'll say that, but regarding you and I? I'm not really sure there's anything I can do. I'm certainly not going to break it off with you. I just don't see how this is gonna get better." 

"I know one thing we can do to make it better," Kurt offers. 

"Oh?"

"We can make it work. Between us, I mean. That's surely the biggest way we can thank him for covering for you, and for not harassing the two of us the moment he found out. Let's face it, he could have flown out here and hauled you back home, but he didn't, he waited us out." 

Upstairs, Burt pushes open the door to the basement, and listens. He can hear voices, and guessing that Blaine is talking to Kurt, he creeps down a few steps so he can hear their conversation. 

"I think I'm just upset that he's not more on board," Blaine is saying, his voice heavy with sadness. "Like...well, you know me. I thought I'd come home, and he'd be here with a hug. I like a hug." 

"Yeah, I’ve noticed." 

Burt does a silent double take at Kurt's teasing. His voice sounds so happy, so full of love, and he sounds younger, too. More carefree. 

"You two need to make up. Whatever dad has said about me, it's probably no more than I deserve. He loves me, I know that, and he loves you too." 

"I feel bad. We've never had a fight before. I don't like it." 

Burt hears Kurt sigh, and he guesses he makes a funny face, because Blaine does one of his squeaky laughs that make him sound like he's five. 

"Blaine?"

"Yeah?" 

"Do you regret it?" 

"Visiting? No. I regret lying, but then he wouldn't have let me go in the first place. I don't regret anything when it comes to you though, Kurt. I just miss you, an insane amount." 

"I miss you too. You're so beautifully sad that it makes my heart hurt." 

Burt moves on the stairs then, clearing his throat loudly to alert Blaine to his presence, before the conversation can become too intimate to listen to. 

"I have to go," Blaine says quickly, and obviously gestures to Kurt, who agrees to call him later that night before hanging up quickly. 

Burt descends the last few stairs, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, just like Kurt does when he's not sure of his welcome. "Can I come in?"

"You are in," Blaine points out, but he shifts the clothes on the end of the bed and makes room for Burt to sit down. 

"Can we talk?" 

"Yes." 

"Do you have anything to say to me?" 

Blaine fiddles with his phone for a moment, his eyes downcast, and then sighs. "I'm sorry for how I spoke to you, and I'm sorry that I lied to get what I wanted, but I'm not sorry for what I said upstairs. I do think you treat Kurt unfairly. I know you love him. It's not like how Spencer is with me or anything. I know you're only harsh because you care so much, but...it comes across as you having no faith or belief in Kurt, and he's picked up on it. As a consequence, he's almost given up any hope of ever pleasing you. When you came to sectionals, I was so happy to hear you telling anyone who would listen that I was your son. I love it when people come into the shop to have their tire changed, and you tell them that I'm going to be a mechanical engineer. I love that you are so ridiculously proud of me that you could burst, and I love all that, because I love you. Think back. You said you were the same when Kurt was in Glee club. When he got into college, you must have been just as proud and happy, if not more so. I remember you telling me that he was a fashion writer, and even though things were strained, I could still see the same pride then. So what's changed? Kurt is a million times better now than he was then, and yet, you seem to be harder on him than ever." 

“You arrived,” Burt says simply. “Not only did I have a sharp reminder of how Kurt used to be, I also could see, first hand, how his actions could hurt people. Before you came on the scene, Kurt rarely came home, and when he did, the visits were quick and awkward. I had...I still have, no real idea of all he gets up to in New York, and I don’t really think I want to know, but suddenly he was here, closing in on you, almost. I wanted it to work out, because how perfect would that be, huh? My two favorite people falling in love with each other. Only then it was happening, and Kurt...I don’t know whether he didn’t want it to happen, or what, but I could see him hurting you, and himself, and I hated it.”

“He was scared,” Blaine says quietly. “He’s still scared. I can see it. But he’s trying, and that’s good enough for me.”

“I want it to be good enough for me, too,” Burt says sadly, “But I’ll be completely honest here; I’m jealous.”

“You’re what?” Blaine asks in surprise. “What...how....what?”

“For the last five years, I’ve been asking to visit Kurt in New York. Always a no. I flew there a while back, to try and convince him to come home, and work things out with you. He refused, and the visit was a disaster." 

"Kurt didn't tell me that." 

"No. Neither did I, for that matter. I was hoping to, but I didn't want to get your hopes up beforehand, and then let you down after, so I just said nothing. I'm sorry. Kurt though....he wouldn't let me into his apartment, I don't even know where he lives, and then suddenly he's sending you a plane ticket to go there for a week." 

Blaine nods slowly, picking at invisible lint on his jeans, and trying to work out what to say, but he is saved by Burt carrying on with his thoughts. 

"That hurts, you know? But what got me the most was the NYU visit. I just....I'm being silly, maybe. In fact, I know it's dumb. I'm gonna shut up." 

"Burt." The warning tone Blaine uses is exactly the same one Burt uses on both him and Kurt, so he has no comeback, sighing and folding his hands in his lap. 

"I thought it would be me, you know? I thought I'd take you there to visit, show you around the city and….ah hell. What am I talking about? Kurt lives there. He knows it best. Of course it makes sense for him to....he even went there. Yes." 

"I'm so sorry," a stricken Blaine whispers. "I should've asked you." 

Burt straightens his back, setting his hat back on his head. "Nah, don't worry. It's just me gettin' all old and sentimental for no reason." 

"Burt?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I am going to be with Kurt, you know. We'll make it work. Forever." 

"If that's what you want, then I hope so." 

"It really is, so maybe....give us a chance? Give Kurt a chance? Show a little more faith?" 

"Okay," Burt nods, staring straight ahead at Blaine's desk, rather than looking at his face. "I can do that for you. I'm still mad at you for lying though, and as punishment, you're limited to one hour with your phone per day, for two weeks. You also have to call your mom and talk to her for at least thirty minutes. Tonight." 

"Okay," Blaine says, accepting what he thinks is quite a lenient punishment. Clearly Burt hasn't considered the fact that he still has a laptop and a tablet at his disposal. "I'll still be here, you know," he says, as Burt stands. "When I move out, I mean. This will always be home, for both of us, even if we have a home of our own in New York. I'll always visit, and spend holidays." 

"Yeah, I know," Burt says lightly, though Blaine can tell from his eyes that he's just hit on Burt's biggest fear. 

"You'll always be our number one guy," Blaine says, standing himself. "And I know you're still mad, but do I get a hug?" 

"Yeah, you always get a hug," Burt smiles, and he opens his arms to hold him tight, the way only Burt Hummel can. 

*

After a phone call with his mom, which was not nearly as awkward as Blaine thought it would be, and a quick call to Kurt, which was utterly perfect, even with Burt booming down the stairs that his phone time was almost up, Blaine goes to bed. 

Every spare second at school is spent telling a wide eyed Tina, an elated Sam, and a wary, but happy for him, Mike, all about his trip to the Big Apple. He thinks of Kurt often, and even manages to call Jackson Kurt by mistake during their regionals rehearsal, which goes down like a ton of bricks, but Blaine doesn't care, and he rushes home, desperate for Burt to give him his phone back, so he can call Kurt. 

"Have it, and keep it," Burt grouches, tossing it into Blaine's hands. 

"What?"

"That things been jumpin' all damn day. It's not you that's getting punished, believe me. Just keep it, and promise me you'll never be so stupid again." 

"I promise," Blaine cries happily, kissing Burt's cheek, before running down the stairs to his room. 

Burt wasn't kidding. One hundred and three text messages, and eight voicemails. One message from Sam, rambling about needing chicken, and does Blaine want to go with him tomorrow after school, and the rest are all from Kurt. The voicemails are sweet, and make Blaine hug the phone tight to his ear, as Kurt fumbles around, trying to tell him how much he misses him, and how all his coworkers at the coffee house had liked him. The texts range from the sweet: _I miss you, that is all. My lips need yours xxx_

To the angry: _This is a fucking joke, I swear. The line in the bank is ten people long, Blaine. Ten! Wtf? I'm above waiting in line with ten other people._

To the downright bizarre: _Cat. Cute cat. Oooh puppy!!! OMG I love animals. Hey, do you like Mexican food?_

Each and every one makes Blaine's heart smile, and when he's done reading he dials, hoping Kurt is able to pick up, which he does, right away. 

"Finally! I've been waiting all day." 

"I noticed," Blaine laughs. "You were so persistent with your messages that Burt has given me my phone back already. He's decided it's more a punishment for him if he keeps ahold of it." 

"Ha! That's awesome. So, how was your day?" 

And that's how their conversations go. Kurt is constant and faithful in his contact. Blaine is elated, and Burt relaxes as the weeks move on, and he can see how much Blaine's confidence and happiness soars. The pain and misery of being parted first hits at the end of February, when Blaine has his regionals competition. 

"Will you come home?" 

"I can't, Blaine," Kurt sighs, grimacing at the phone screen, when he sees his boyfriends face drop. "I'm so sorry. I just don't have the money." 

"I do though!" Blaine says, brightening. "I could pay for your tickets, the way you paid for mine! Please let me." 

"I can't take the time off, though. I'm sorry. If I could, I’d be there like a shot, but…”

"You've managed enough times before," Blaine says with a frown, and Kurt senses an argument is imminent. "Can't Santana cover for you?" 

"She's working double as it is. We have three out sick and….anyway, if I give my shifts away then I don't get paid."

"Fine," Blaine sighs. "I have to go, anyway. I need to study." 

"Blaine?" 

Blaine looks at Kurt, his eyes showing how truly worried and upset he is, but Blaine himself is close to tears with the amount he misses him, and he comes off as moody and impatient. 

"What?" 

"Don't be mad at me." 

"I'm not. Just disappointed that you won't make just a little effort to fly home and support the one you supposedly love, that's all." 

"Don't start with that!" Kurt snaps, and Blaine suddenly remembers how easily he can switch to anger. "I told you this would be tough." 

"Oh, so you don't want to do this?" 

"Shut up, Blaine. You know I want to do it. I wouldn't give you the satisfaction of walking away, anyway." 

"So you're only with me to shut me up?" 

"What are you? Some hormonal woman? You're being even more absurd than Santana when she gets her damn period!" 

"I heard that!" comes a voice, and Kurt gives a cursory glance over his shoulder. "Look, I have to go." 

"Why? Santana's more important than me now?" 

"No, but she's not yelling at me over something that's beyond my control. I'll call you later." 

Blaine stays in his room for a good couple of hours, and Burt has given up on him making a reappearance in the den, given all the yelling that was taking place earlier, but then suddenly he is there, holding his laptop close to his chest, and looking all forlorn. 

"Hey. You okay?" 

"Yeah. I uh...I wanted your help with something actually." 

"Oh?" 

"My college application. NYU wants a supporting essay on why my future lies in mechanics, and how I think I can contribute to the future of the science." 

"Sheesh. Blaine, I don't think I'm your guy for that," Burt says worriedly. "I mean, I'm flattered that you asked but.... I'm not smart. I don't have brains like you do." 

"You do, though," Blaine insists, setting the laptop on the coffee table, and turning it on. "Besides, we all know how terrible I am at selling myself. I definitely need my biggest fan to help me out with that." 

"Now that, I can do." 

Burt knows he's upset, but Blaine is not forthcoming, so he waits it out until regionals is mentioned, and he casually wonders aloud if Kurt will be coming home. 

"He's not," Blaine says stiffly. "He can't afford it." 

"What? Why? He must earn a small fortune." 

"Not yet he doesn't."

Although it seems like an odd reply to Burt he doesn't push the issue, just shrugs and mumbles something unintelligible, before turning his attentions back to the screen. He's so happy that Blaine asked for his help on this that he doesn't want to cause any upset when it's not needed, and by shortly after midnight they have the makings of a great essay on their hands. 

"I'll finish typing it tomorrow," Blaine says, as he closes the laptop, and Burt turns out the lights. "Seeing as I don't have Kurt to talk to right now." 

"Oh?" Burt asks, pretending like he doesn't know. "Why's that?"

"I don't think we're talking. I got mad that he won't come home next weekend, and he told me I was a hormonal woman." 

"Ha!" Burt shakes his head, as they move out into the hallway. "Kurt doesn't deal well with neediness. He blows up." 

"He's needy all the damn time!" Blaine cries in disbelief. "He's always on the damn phone, and if I don't answer right away, he texts me until I respond." 

"Well, I'm just saying, don't be surprised if he goes off into one of his sulks." 

But Kurt doesn't, and he calls Blaine the very next morning to apologize for having spoken out of turn, which astounds Blaine, who insists it should be him who apologizes, and the pair very nearly have another falling out all over again. 

"I really miss you," Kurt says sadly. "Santana gave me a hug yesterday, but no one can hold me like you do." 

"Well, she has breasts for a start." 

"True," Kurt laughs, "but you know what I mean. Look, next weekend is out, but if I change a few things around, I could try for the end of March?" 

"March?" Blaine wants to whine, moan, and yell about the unfairness of it all, but then he remembers how much of an effort Kurt is making, and also how much they are missing each other, rather than it being a one sided affair this time. "Yeah," he sighs, feeling the full weight of his sadness settling over him. "March is good."


	34. Chapter 34

Jackson has had enough. Since ten this morning, the glee club have been locked in a rehearsal room at the theatre in Columbus, where regionals is to be held. He was determined, after the farce with Kurt at sectionals and the months of pain that followed since, that today was the day he was going to win Blaine over. He'd heard that Blaine had skipped school to visit Kurt in New York, and he knew without even asking that Blaine wasn't a virgin anymore, but he also knows that Kurt is the worlds biggest asshole, and if he and Blaine were meant to be boyfriends, well then surely his refusal to come and support him should tell everyone what Kurt really thinks of Blaine. 

But Blaine has been snappy, morose, and at times downright angry since they arrived. He actually shouted at Tina when she missed a step in the choreography, which astounded everyone, even though he apologized instantly and Tina reassured him that it was no big deal. He'd been off key during his solo, which had then made him livid with rage at himself, and now, as they waited for the competition to start, he was sitting in the corner, alone, texting for all he was worth. 

He needs cheering up, and Jackson resolves to be just the man to do it, only as he rises to his feet and heads across the room, Mike stops him, a firm hand on his chest. "Stay away," he says, and though his tone is friendly, his eyes tell Jackson how serious he is. "Blaine needs alone time." 

"Blaine needs friends," Jackson snaps, but he returns to his seat and waits until Mike leaves the room, then he hurries over to Blaine again and sits down. 

"So!" he says brightly. "Hey, you." 

"Hey." Blaine pockets his phone, and gives Jackson a weak smile. "How are you?" 

"I'm good. And you? You don't look good. I mean, you look good, you always look good, but uh...you don't look too happy." 

He is elated when Blaine laughs and shakes his head, a light blush forming on his cheeks. "Thank you....I think. I'm okay, I guess. Just sad that Kurt couldn't make it home." 

"Oh? Hmm, that's too bad. I wonder why he wouldn't make the effort?" 

"It's not like that," Blaine says quietly, though with the two day silence from Kurt, he's not entirely convinced. "He had too much work and stuff." 

"Isn't he a writer?" Jackson asks, feeling the prize he wants moving ever closer to his grasp. "A job that can be done anywhere?" 

"He is, but....nevermind," Blaine says, plastering a fake smile on his face. He might be irritating, but Jackson means well, and Blaine isn't one to be rude just for the hell of it. "He's not here. Anyway. How do you feel? About the performance, I mean," he adds quickly, before Jackson can propose marriage. "I think we have a fair chance." 

"Yeah, I think we sound good. Your solo is amazing." 

"I was completely off key earlier," Blaine says with a frown, but Jackson is quick to place a hand on his thigh, far too close to his groin.

"Only a little," he lies smoothly. "So uh....I was thinking we could hang out after the competition? Stay in Columbus, maybe, and find somewhere to get dinner?" 

"Oh." Clearly taken aback, Blaine's eyes go wide as he carefully takes Jackson's hand and places it back in his own lap. "Uh...thanks, but I'm having dinner with Burt." 

"Seriously?" 

"Yeah," Blaine frowns, "Why not? We always go out after I do stuff like this, and the science competitions. He likes to celebrate." 

"We might not win." 

"Ha! Makes no difference to Burt," Blaine says happily. "I'm on that stage and I'm singing. In his eyes, it's like I've won a Tony or something." 

"One night next week then?" Jackson persists, and Blaine rubs the back of his neck shyly.

"I'm taken," he says, and though his voice is quiet and he's blushing, there is no mistaking the pride in his voice. "Very much, completely, wholeheartedly taken. By Kurt." 

"Who isn't here to support you," Jackson points out, but Blaine is spared from answering further when the New Directions are called to line up. 

*

Kurt Hummel parks his rental car illegally and races into the theatre, his phone glued to his ear. "Where are you?" he asks his dad desperately, as he scans the busy foyer.

"Back in already. They've just announced New Directions are up next. Hurry!"

"I am! I'm on my way, I just need to find him first." 

"Blaine? No! No time. Hold on. Excuse me," Kurt can hear him saying as he obviously shuffles back into place. "Hi. I'm here for my son. He's up next. Blaine. New Directions. Dark hair. Looks nothing like me. My son. Blaine." 

"Dad!" 

"Sorry Kurt. Okay, nearly everyone is back. The judges are in their seats." 

"Hold my place. I'll be one minute." 

Kurt runs as fast as he can, finding a side door which obviously leads backstage. He can hear the announcer welcoming everyone back for the second half, and a polite round of applause as he heads closer to the stage, and then he hears, "Please welcome, McKinley High New Directions!" 

"Blaine!" 

Blaine turns from his place in the line, between Jackson and Mike, just in time to see Kurt sprinting towards him, his cheeks flushed and his tie loose. 

"You're beautiful," Kurt says simply, and kisses him warmly on the lips. There is no time for more, as the line starts to move forward, and Blaine doesn't even get the chance to respond, but the way his face lights up with joy is enough for both of them. 

"Hands off," Kurt hisses to Jackson as he files past. "Blaine is mine." 

"I hate you so much," Jackson mumbles back, before he has to run onto the stage. 

Kurt doesn't know the first two songs, but he doesn't care, not when Blaine is up there, giving it all he's got, and his dad is next to him, greeting him with a massively warm hug and proudly telling the lady next to him that this is his other son.

For the first time, Kurt understands why Burt is so proud. It's hard not to be, when Blaine shines as much as he does. For Blaine, the shock of seeing Kurt and knowing he is in the audience spurs him on to do better than ever, and he steps forward for their third number. 

"Is he singing a solo again? I didn't know," Kurt says to his dad.

"Neither did I," Burt shrugs. "I think maybe he gets too worried to tell anyone, in case it gets jinxed." 

"A light in the room  
It was you who was standing there  
Tried it was true  
As your glance met my stare," Blaine begins, and Kurt turns to his dad excitedly. 

"I know this song! It's beautiful. Pentatonix sing it."

"Pentagons? Who are they?" 

The song is more of a group piece than an outright solo from then on, but Blaine's voice soars above them all for Kurt, as he watches his love singing his heart out.

"But your heart drifted off  
Like the land split by sea  
I tried to go, to follow  
To kneel down at your feet

I'll run, I'll run, I'll run, run to you  
I'll run, I'll run, I'll run, run to you

I've been settling scores  
I've been fighting so long  
But I've lost your war  
And our kingdom is gone

How shall I win back  
Your heart which was mine  
I have broken bones and tattered clothes  
I've run out of time

I'll run, I'll run, I'll run, run to you  
I'll run, I'll run, I'll run, run to you  
Whoa, oh, oh"

"Isn't he amazing?" Kurt says dreamily, and all Burt can do is clap an arm around his lovesick son's shoulders and agree as he wipes away a few tears. Blaine steps forward as the key changes, and for a brief second before the lights change he can see Kurt, with his dad next to him. The instant their eyes connect, both feel the jolt that hits them. Blaine grins, the lights turning bright in his eyes, as he pours all of his love and affection into a solo final verse, with the group backing him up from behind. 

"I will break down the gates of heaven  
A thousand angels stand waiting for me,  
Oh, take my heart and I'll lay down my weapons  
Break my shackles to set me free

I'll run, I'll run, I'll run, run to you  
I'll run, I'll run, I'll run, run to you"

"Oh! He's done it!" Burt booms, as the applause starts. "My boy! My boy's just won the whole damn thing! You can all go home!" he cries happily at the other show choirs sitting and watching. "Blaine rules them all!" 

"Will you be quiet?" Kurt asks, but he's laughing this time, and eagerly accepts another hug from his dad. 

Of course they win, and Kurt has to be restrained by his dad when Jackson and Blaine share a brief but awkward hug, before Blaine turns to throw his arms around Mike instead.

"I'm gonna kill that boy," Kurt grumbles, as they file out of the theatre.

"No you're not, because you didn't come home for that. You came home to see your boyfriend, and honestly? I haven't seen you look so happy and excited for years, Kurt, I'm amazed." 

Kurt's surprise is evident as he stops, his eyebrows raised. "Oh. Well. He kinda...has that effect on me," he says with a wide smile.

"Good," Burt laughs. "In that case, the flight was worth the hideous price." 

"Thanks again," Kurt says, giving his dad's shoulder a friendly nudge. "I know Blaine said he would pay, but..."

"That's a lot of money, Kurt. To be honest, I've never really thought about it before, but you must have spent a lot on flights back and forth." 

"Yeah, I have." 

"You okay? For money?" 

"Um..." Kurt pauses. His final hurdle, he knows, is to tell his dad everything. He feels as if it's only once that's done that he'll be able to truly move forward. But then here he is, his dad, so happy to see Kurt so happy, so pleased that Kurt actually asked for his help with something, and so excited to see him reunited with Blaine, that all he can do is give a small shrug. "Yeah. It's tight, but fine. Nothing to worry about. I can pay you back next month." 

"You will not!" Burt laughs, much to Kurt's relief. "It's my pleasure. Why not let Blaine and I fly to New York next time, huh? I won't get in the way." 

"Dad, I'd love to, but uh...I'm having some work done in the apartment, so it's not really a good time." 

"Oh. Well, maybe when that's done, then?" 

"Yeah," Kurt sighs, hating himself for the smooth lie. "Maybe." 

He is saved from any more questions by the arrival of the show choirs, who all file into the foyer of the theatre to look for their parents. They both spot Blaine at the same time, but Burt urges his excited son forward, and waits patiently to give his own congratulations. Kurt isn't surprised to see Jackson hovering by Blaine's left shoulder, but he is irritated. Blaine's gaze lands on him though, his face breaking out into a wide grin, as Kurt literally pushes people out of the way to get to him. 

"You came," Blaine says softly, once they're face to face, and Kurt gives a small nod. 

"I have missed you so much." 

They come together, Kurt's hand reaching out to shove Jackson firmly in the chest on the way, and then his arms are around Blaine's waist, and he sighs at the feel of their lips together after so long. It is completely perfect, Blaine's hands framing his face, the faint taste of mint on his breath, as he opens his mouth with a small gasp, and then kisses him again. Kurt feels as if he could stay there forever, wrapped up in kissing his beautiful Blaine, but then he remembers his dad, patiently waiting to celebrate Blaine's success, and he pulls back reluctantly, pressing their foreheads together. 

"One night," he whispers sadly. "I could only come back for one night, but..."

"I don't care," Blaine says happily. "I mean I do, because I'd like it to be more, but...you came all this way, and that...that's everything." 

"You are everything," Kurt corrects. "And just so you know? I'm gonna kick the living shit outta that kid if he..."

"Kurt! You are not. You're going to love me, because that will piss him off far more than a punch to the gut." 

Kurt pauses, mulls it over, and gives a little shrug. "Now that, I can do." 

Burt barrages his way over to Blaine then, and Kurt steps backward, but he is pulled into the hug too as Burt booms loudly about his sons being the greatest sons in the history of the universe. Ordinarily, Kurt would be running a million miles from this public outpouring of exuberance, but Blaine's happiness is all he needs to not worry about what other people think, and he finds himself relaxing and enjoying the moment, especially when Burt ruffles Blaine's tightly gelled hair and makes it stand on end. 

"So, I'm gonna love ya and leave ya," Burt says as they step outside with his arms around them both. "Kurt, do you want me to leave you with Bessie, and I'll take the rental car home?" 

"Oh, uh..." he glances at Blaine, who gives a tiny nod, and Kurt knows from his eyes that he agrees. "Don't do that, dad. Come to dinner with us." 

"No, no, you two will want to be alone, and that's fine." 

"Really, Burt, you need to come to dinner," Blaine insists, tugging him down the steps of the theatre. "It's our tradition, and you take tradition very seriously, remember?" 

"I do," Burt smiles, and he is easily won over. "Okay. Let's go. I'm paying." 

"Of course you are, why do you think we invited you?" Blaine asks, and he laughs loudly when Burt gives him a shove. 

Dinner is wonderful. Too wonderful, in fact, as Kurt knows that tomorrow he will have to tear himself away from this happy scene all over again and head back to New York, where he'll spend his days working double shifts and texting Blaine every waking minute that he can. 

There's so much he wants and needs to tell him, such as his fears over applying for the full time fashion writers job at Marie Claire, the fact that Jeremy got wind of him taking Blaine to meet with Professor Scarbo, and now won't leave him alone, and the fact that Santana had met a girl, and now he barely sees her, though he hears her plenty, but it all takes a back seat during the meal in favor of happy conversation, which draws him in and keeps him mesmerised. 

Blaine is doing exceptionally well in school, and Kurt and his dad enjoy gently teasing him about being a science nerd, which he takes well, and comes back at Kurt with jibes about him being a fashionista. Kurt loves it.

Kurt is in love. 

Not just with Blaine, but with all of this, the sense of family and belonging which comes when the three of them are together. Smiles on the faces of those he loves the most, the bright, hope filled future which lies ahead of them, and also, the promise of tonight in Blaine's arms. 

When Burt does depart in Kurt's rental car as promised, the couple walk hand in hand the short distance to where Bessie is parked, looking pristine even in the darkness, and Kurt smiles, smoothing a hand over her in greeting. 

"I've missed you," he says softly, while Blaine looks on. "Can you miss a car? Well I did, anyway." 

"As long as you didn't miss her more than me," comes a voice, and Kurt turns, tugging Blaine closer by the lapels of his jacket. 

"That could never happen," Kurt whispers, kissing him lightly. "And if this wasn't downtown Columbus on a Saturday night, I'd kiss you properly, but it is, so...." 

"So let's go home," Blaine says, holding the passenger door open for Kurt, "and as I drive, you can tell me what's worrying you." 

"Hey? Nothing's worrying me," Kurt says, once Blaine is in the other side. "I'm fine, I'm happy to be here." 

"Oh, you're happy to be here," Blaine agrees. "But there's some stuff on your mind. I know you really well now, especially after our time in New York, and I can tell." 

"Well I don't know how, since you were flat on your back with your eyes closed for most of it." 

"I was not!" Blaine stops at a red light, and turns to him, his face serious. "I was on all fours, in your lap, on my side..." 

"You bastard," Kurt laughs. "Okay. Yeah. Some stuff is kinda getting to me. That's not why I came home though. You know that, right?" 

"I know," Blaine replies, reaching for his hand. "And I want you to know how grateful I am, really." 

"Thank dad. He paid." 

"He did? I said I would." 

"I know, but I couldn't have you do that. Plus, it really did look like I couldn't change my shifts. Then Stephanie said she could work today for me if I work double on Tuesday. Santana took tomorrow morning off my hands, meaning I've only lost four hours pay, and then I called dad and asked if he could loan me the money." 

"You asked him that? Did you tell him anything?" 

"Just that I needed to see you. I know," he rushes on, before Blaine can interject. "But I can't right now. Not this time. I'm owed a few days off at Easter. I'll come home then and tell him. This visit is about reminding you how much you're worth to me." 

"Message received loud and clear," Blaine grins, squeezing his fingers. "Though I might need reminding once we're in bed." 

"No, Blaine, you will need reminding. For sure." 

"Ha! Okay. So tell me the rest then." 

Kurt is surprised at how easy and natural it is to talk to Blaine, though he shouldn't be, given the amount of time they've been spending on the phone with each other. He tells him about everything, including Jeremy's repeated texts, to which Blaine suggests he changes his number, and his fears over applying for the full time job. 

"I get that you're scared, but you have to do this," Blaine urges. "You'll regret it forever if you don't." 

"I know, but there's so much to do," Kurt sighs. "I can't even work on my application without having to go to the library and use their computers. I'm saving for a new laptop, but...ugh, I don't know. It's like I get paid, then by the time I've made rent, bought groceries, paid all my bills, I just have nothing left."

"So be firm with yourself. Plan as much as you can at home, then set a date when you're going to the library, and do it." 

"I need to do that, but I'm just so tired after work. Then there's his stupid texts, and then Santana has stupidly loud sex at three in the damn morning, and...honestly Blaine, I wish I could run away and hide." 

"It'll be worth it in the end," Blaine says, as he pulls into the driveway and kills the engine. 

Kurt stares straight ahead, looking thoroughly fed up. "Hmm. Better be." 

"It will be," Blaine says, turning in his seat to face him. "When you and I are sitting in our fancy house in the suburbs, with a whole house full of kids and dogs..." 

"Hold it right there buddy!" Kurt turns to face him, stony faced. "Dogs? I think you mean cats." 

"Dogs."

"Cats." 

"Dogs." 

"One of each?" Kurt offers, the corners of his mouth twitching into a smile.

"Okay," Blaine grins. "When you and I are in our fancy house, restoring another Buick, while the kids run wild, and the dog chases the cat, you'll turn to me, Mr. Hummel, and you'll say, 'You know what, husband? You were right.'" 

"Oh, you are severely mistaken if you think that's happening," Kurt says, while Blaine's face drops. "The house, the kids, the pets....fine, but I will never, in a million years, admit that you were right." 

"Oh god, don't mess with me like that," Blaine sighs, clutching his chest. "My heart!" 

"Sorry," Kurt laughs. "How many kids are we talking?"

"I don't know! Two? Seven? Twenty four?" 

"I'd suggest we start with one," Kurt teases lightly, and they laugh together, before turning serious, their eyes locked on one another. "What?" 

Blaine shrugs, but doesn't break the gaze, and Kurt bites his lip, as the atmosphere becomes heavy with the promise of what's to come. "You're kinda staring at me," Kurt says quietly, but all Blaine does is lean forward, his lips seeking Kurt's. 

The soft moan that Kurt makes when they kiss is enough for Blaine to slide closer still, running his hands into Kurt's hair as they try to press as close as they can in the car. Kurt runs his hands under Blaine's jacket, fisting the soft fabric of his cardigan as he slides down on the bench seat, encouraging Blaine to lie on top of him. Their kiss never breaks; the feeling of Blaine's tongue teasing him makes Kurt whimper again, and he moves one hand to the back of Blaine's head to keep him in place. 

"We should..." is all Blaine gets out, before Kurt's lips are on his again, and it becomes his turn to moan in pleasure when Kurt's other hand moves down the back of his pants. "Move," he gasps, feeling Kurt growing hard against his thigh. He nips lightly at his lower lip, then breaks the kiss and nuzzles sweetly against his cheek. "Inside. Bedroom type of room. Anywhere, really." 

"Ha! Is your brain short circuiting there?" Kurt teases, but Blaine only kisses him fiercely, before reluctantly moving away to open the car door. 

The house is quiet, though given that it's only just past nine it's unlikely that Burt is asleep, so they make their way down to Blaine's bedroom where he turns on his desk lamp, and takes off his jacket and shoes. Leaning against his desk, he beckons for Kurt to come to him, and without a word, he tugs him closer by his belt before carefully unbuttoning first his vest, and then his shirt. 

Kurt sighs happily at the feel of Blaine's hands over the bare skin of his back, and in all honesty, he feels like he could stay there, kissing him, until the sun came up, but then Blaine stands, pressing their groins together, and Kurt is reminded of a more pressing need. 

He lets Blaine strip him down to his underwear before he nudges him gently toward the bed, where he undresses him slowly, and pauses to kiss just above his hip, smiling when Blaine laughs. "Yep," he whispers. "Still my Blaine." 

"Always your Blaine," he gasps, as Kurt's hands run over him. "God Kurt, I want you so much." 

"Then you will have me," Kurt says, smiling softly, before lowering both of their underwear. "I want to taste you," he says, trying for seductive, but it comes out more as a whine of desperation when he takes in the sight of Blaine lying totally naked. "All of you." 

"Turn around," Blaine commands softly, and Kurt doesn't object, not even when Blaine angles him so his lips drop a soft kiss to his perineum, rather than where Kurt was expecting. Blaine is so sweet, caring, and gentle in his movements, that Kurt manages to relax, as Blaine slowly moves his mouth backward, spreading him open with his hands, and running the flat of his tongue over his entrance. 

It takes Kurt a moment to remember that he's supposed to be reciprocating in some way, but eventually he does, leaning forward and taking Blaine into his mouth, relishing the weight of him, hard and rigid, against his tongue. 

It’s a full sensory overload for both of them, the taste of one another in their own mouths, the indescribable pleasure shooting through the pair of them, as Blaine explores gently with his tongue, and Kurt takes Blaine deep into his throat, before pulling off and moving to his hole, waiting and begging to be kissed, to be opened for Kurt to fill. 

Blaine's legs are tugged up and over onto Kurt's shoulders, and it's possibly the most uncomfortable position he's ever been in, but he really doesn't care. They work over each other silently and steadily, until Blaine has to stop to cry out desperately. 

"I can't...I'm gonna...and I don't...." 

"S'okay," Kurt murmurs, kissing anywhere he can reach, before spinning around and seeking his lips. "It's okay. Have you got lube?" 

"I've got like...a whole stash," Blaine says, grinning happily, pleased with himself and his mammoth drugstore spree. He presses a tube into Kurt's hand, who lies next to him, propped up on one elbow. 

"I like to kiss you while I do this," Kurt explains, as he teases his fingers over Blaine's entrance. He's slightly stretched already from Kurt's tongue, but more is needed, and Kurt is happy to oblige. "Actually, I like to kiss you whenever and wherever I can," he whispers, before he lets their lips slide together. It's quicker than it was their first few times, but there's no denying Blaine is still tight, not that Kurt minds one bit when he eventually pushes inside with a groan of satisfaction. "Fuck me that's good," he sighs, then leans down to kiss Blaine tenderly. "You look so beautiful like this, it makes my heart hurt. One day, I'm gonna wake up next to you every day, and every time I do, I'm gonna remind you how wonderful you are." 

Blaine blinks, his eyes big and round in the dim light, and then slowly a grin spreads across his face that is so big and wide, that he tries to hide it by kissing Kurt, but he fails miserably, just managing to mash his teeth against his lips, causing them both to laugh. 

"You've like...made my life," Blaine admits eventually, then wraps his legs tight around Kurt's waist, and urges him to move. 

The pure delight at being together again, after six long weeks apart, means that eventually the sweet tenderness of the moment is forgotten in favor of sweaty, slippery, and panting bodies entwining together. Their moans fill the air, building to a loud cry of ecstasy from Kurt as he comes hard, followed by Blaine, who opts to stay silent by biting into Kurt's shoulder instead as he shudders hard before dropping weakly back down onto the bed. 

Not a word is spoken as Kurt withdraws and curls immediately into Blaine's side, seeking his comfort and strength. He doesn't know why, and he can't even begin to explain, but he suddenly feels completely overwhelmed, and with it comes a need to be comforted and reassured, which he finds instantly in Blaine's arms, and the way he kisses into his soft, damp hair. 

For Blaine, the fact that Kurt seeks comfort from him in this manner, speaks volumes. It proves that he sees him on the same level, as an equal, and as capable of giving Kurt what he needs. He knows the moment Kurt feels better, because he feels him relax in his arms, and they become happy once more, cuddling together for the longest time until eventually Kurt lifts his head. 

"Do you want to take a bath?" 

"Together?" Blaine asks sleepily. "Or are you trying to tell me something?" 

"Together, you fool," Kurt laughs, swatting at his chest. 

"Yes. But I'll get it ready. You stay there." 

Kurt dozes off, only waking when Blaine kisses his forehead, and asks him if he still wants to get in, because the water is ready. 

"We've never done this," Kurt points out, as they stare at the steaming tub. 

"Nope." Blaine climbs in happily, settling down under the bubbles, and opening his legs for Kurt. "Come on then." 

"No, not like that. Shift forward." 

"Uh-uh," Blaine grins. "I'm holding you." 

"You are not." 

"I am." 

"I'll sit at the other end then." 

"Kurt, if you're gonna be a grumpy ass, you won't sit in it at all. This is supposed to be romantic, now get in the damn tub and let me hold you." 

Kurt opens his mouth to give a smart retort before he realizes that actually, he quite likes the thought of relaxing in the water and resting in Blaine's arms, so he does as he's told. "Don't say a word," he grouches once he's settled, but he can't help but smile at the rumble of Blaine's laughter in his chest. 

"Wouldn't dream of it." 

It's nice, he thinks to himself, as he closes his eyes and leans back, his head resting on Blaine's shoulder. In fact, it's better than nice. Blaine pours the warm water over his chest, and kisses softly at his temple, and Kurt rather wishes he could stay there forever. 

"It'd get cold eventually." 

"Huh?"

"The water," Blaine points out. "If we stayed here forever. Plus, we'd have to pee in it and stuff, so..." 

"What are you talking about?" 

"You said you'd like to stay here forever." 

"I did not!" 

"Did too," Blaine laughs. "I'm not the only one with the inside outside voice problem."

"You are," Kurt mutters, embarrassed, but Blaine just laughs and kisses his cheek. 

They rest a moment, content to just relax in the water and listen to the gentle sound of Blaine pouring water over Kurt's chest. "Blaine?" 

"Hmm?" 

"That um...that thing....you did, when we were...."

Blaine keeps his eyes closed, knowing that Kurt is blushing profusely and looking down, taking Blaine's hand in his and fiddling with his fingers. He's embarrassed, and finding it difficult to talk, so Blaine tries to spare him further awkwardness. "Mmhmm?" 

"That….was it.... um.... it was really good," he gets out eventually. "I liked it." 

"Good. I liked it too." 

"Does that mean...? Are you wanting to....?" 

"It doesn't mean anything, Kurt," Blaine reassures, holding him a little bit tighter. "It just means that I wanted to do that, and you let me. That's all. We both liked it, we're both enjoying getting to know one another's bodies." 

"Cause I'm not ready for...." 

"Kurt, please don't worry. You liked it, I liked it. Making love with you is amazing, end of." 

"You know, a long distance relationship with you is not what I would have chosen at all...." 

"Kurt, you wouldn't have chosen any type of relationship with anyone." 

"Ha! True. But what I'm saying is, the distance thing sucks, but actually, it does give us a chance to get to know each other a whole lot better, without sex getting in the way." 

"I'd agree with that," Blaine says, with a sweet kiss to his cheek. "But gosh I do miss you." 

"We're doing okay though, aren't we? I mean, I'm starting to think that I can actually do this relationship thingy, and not fuck it up entirely." 

"I think we're doing better than okay," Blaine says, holding him tight. "I think this is all kinds of wonderful."


	35. Chapter 35

Of course, the excitement and romance that surrounds Kurt's brief visit, also brings with it heartache and pain, as the very next morning signals Kurt's departure. "Before you go, come to my room," Blaine tells him over breakfast, ignoring Burt's raised eyebrows. "I have something I want to give you." 

"I think that was last night," Burt mumbles, as he helps himself to more pancakes. 

"And this morning," Kurt adds with a grin. 

"Oh! No! Not..." Blaine blusters, completely embarrassed. "Don't say stuff like that, Kurt! Either of you! Just....no. I'm all embarrassed now." 

"We can tell," Kurt laughs, and he laughs harder still when Burt ruffles Blaine's hair. "Bless you." 

"Go away," Blaine grouches, but he's grinning as he speaks. "Look. Will you just...come to my room. Please." 

"Sure. When I'm finished eating." 

Kurt is surprised by Blaine's sudden nervousness once they're alone, and the way in which he reaches into his desk drawer and clutches an envelope tightly. "This is um...well, it's...because you....here." Shoving the envelope into Kurt's hands, he looks down at his feet, while he waits for Kurt to speak.

"This is three hundred dollars," Kurt says softly. "Blaine, I don't need your money." 

"To buy a laptop," Blaine says quickly, looking up at him earnestly. "I mean, I know it's not all of it, but...." 

"Blaine, I can't take this." 

"You can, I want you to. You need to be able to work from home, Kurt, and apply for that job. Plus, on a purely selfish level, I'd like to skype with you, and on bigger screens than our phones." 

"No." Shaking his head, Kurt stuffs the money back in the envelope and thrusts it back into Blaine's hands. "I don't know how well you think you know me, but clearly it's not all that well if you think I'd accept a gift like that." 

"Oh, I knew you wouldn't take it," Blaine says calmly. "I expected a fight." 

"Then why are you even trying?" Kurt cries, becoming frustrated. "You're eighteen, for gods sake! You don't have money to throw around." 

"Maybe not," Blaine shrugs. "But my college tuition is all paid, or it will be, when my mom transfers the money to my account. Dad saved from the day I was born," he says proudly. 

"Yeah, so you could have a bright future, not so you could throw three hundred dollars at a man who will probably break your heart." 

"You won't break my heart." Catching hold of his hands, Blaine pulls Kurt close and kisses him soundly on the mouth. "And my bright future lies with you. Don't look at this as me throwing money at you, look at it as me repaying you for the shirt you bought me, or...I don't know...an investment, maybe?" 

"How is it an investment?" 

"Well, when I'm in college, even though I'll be living in the dorms, I'll be at your apartment quite a bit, right?" 

"I guess so," Kurt shrugs. "If you're good." 

"So, I might need to study, and if I do, I'll need a laptop to use." 

"You're something else," Kurt laughs, but then he frowns and shakes his head. "I can't take the money, Blaine. You're beautiful, and it's a beautiful gesture, but I just can't. I'm sorry." 

"Okay," Blaine says with a shrug. "I understand."

"Huh?"

"I tried, and you won't accept the gift, there's nothing else I can do. I don't want to fight when we only have two hours left together." 

"You....you're pretty amazing, you know that?" Kurt grins, before leaning in and kissing him slowly. "Actually, strike that. You're totally amazing. Consider me entirely smitten." 

"Heh. Yeah, I am," Blaine agrees, hugging Kurt tight. "Now go upstairs and spend some time with your dad. I'll get your stuff together." 

"You don't have to do that." 

"I know, but I want to. Now go." 

*

A sad and despondent Kurt climbs the stairs to his apartment later that day, his eyes stinging from trying to keep tears at bay. It's not long until spring break, he keeps telling himself as he unlocks the door and heads straight to the bedroom, throwing his suitcase onto the bed. He stares at it, and contemplates leaving the unpacking until tomorrow, but deciding he doesn't want to crease his shirts more than necessary, he sighs and unzips the lid. 

_Kurt! Buy a laptop, you dumbass!_

Kurt stares at the note, and shakes his head with a small laugh. He had thought it over on the way home, and realized that maybe he should have accepted Blaine's money, but it was too late now. Kurt Hummel wasn't going to admit to being wrong. 

He lifts the first shirt from the case- yet again he had taken home far more clothes than necessary- especially for twenty four hours, and he's surprised when three twenties fall out from the folds of the shirt. He lifts the pants lying underneath, and this time, four twenties emerge. 

All of his clothes, all neatly and lovingly folded and packed by Blaine, have money hidden inside, even his socks. By the time he has shaken out every item, and left a pile of clothes on his floor, Kurt has six hundred dollars. 

"Kurt?" Santana calls, barging her way into his apartment. "Are you home?" 

"Yes I'm home!" he screeches in rage. "Look what that bastard has done!" 

"What?" Santana asks in confusion, taking in the money and the note. "He's given you money to buy a laptop?"

"Yes! He tried to give me three hundred this morning, and I said no, so he's hidden six hundred in my damn clothes!" 

"And you're angry because...." 

"Because I said no!" Kurt yells, tearing at his hair. "He was going on about me getting a laptop, so I can work from home, and apply for this job, and...."

"Okay, cut it out," Santana snaps. 

"He's done this just to piss me off." 

"He's done this because he loves you, you giant idiot!" 

Kurt pulls up short as it hits him, and he realizes that maybe he's looking at it the wrong way. 

"Huh. Well. He hasn't said he loves me." 

Santana picks up the pile of bills, thumbing through them. "Hasn't he? I'd say hiding six hundred dollars in your suitcase, and wanting you to succeed would be a pretty firm declaration of his love. Take the money, Kurt, buy the laptop, and think of Blaine every time you use it." 

"I hate you," Kurt grouches, as he starts to pick the clothes up from the floor. 

"Yeah, I know. But I'll bet you hate Blaine more." 

*

"You bastard," Kurt barks, while Blaine cackles loudly over the phone. "I hate you." 

"I knew you'd be calling to say that!" Blaine laughs, and Kurt is pretty sure he can hear him high fiving someone, probably his dad. "So you found the money."

"I found the money." 

"And?" 

"And I will be skyping with you tomorrow after work," Kurt says stiffly. 

"Aw Kurt." On the other end of the line, Blaine, now safely ensconced in his bedroom, falls back on his bed and kicks his feet in the air excitedly. "That's....that's fine," he says with a quiet laugh. "I will make myself available." 

"Damn right you will." 

"And thank you again, for coming home." 

"Anytime," Kurt says, softening at the very thought. "Holding you is just....ugh." He breaks off, digging his fingers into the corners of his eyes to compose himself. "Perfect." 

"Kurt?" 

"Mmhmm?" 

"I..." Blaine starts, but he cuts himself off quickly, clearing his throat. "I can't wait for you to visit again," he tells Kurt eventually, rolling onto his front and cradling the phone close to his ear. "Cause I have something I want to say." 

Kurt sits up, suddenly very attentive. "What is it? What do you want to say?" 

"I'll tell you next time you're home," Blaine smiles. 

"Tell me now. You said you couldn't wait." 

"Figure of speech," he laughs. "I want to tell you face to face." 

"I know what it is!" Kurt sing songs over the phone in the most ridiculous manner, making Blaine laugh.

"Well good, if you know what it is, then I don't need to say it, do I?" 

"Hey! No fair!" 

"Okay, Kurt?" 

Kurt gives a small excited bounce on the bed, his heart racing. "Yes?" 

"When we skype tomorrow...."

"Yes?" 

"Can we be naked?" 

Kurt screams as Blaine laughs loudly, and falling across his bed dramatically, he throws a hand across his eyes. "Blaine Anderson, I can't believe you would say such a thing. That's exactly what I was gonna suggest." 

"Haha, good. Well, I have to go study, or I'll never pass my senior year." 

"Are you kidding me? You passed senior year when you were in first grade, probably. Nerd." 

"Ah. So loving and affectionate. It's easy to see how you swept me off my feet."

"Hate you, bastard." 

"Hate you more." 

"Blaine?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Thank you for the money. As Santana pointed out to me, it was such a loving gift. I guess it really told me those three words, over and over." 

"I'm glad," Blaine sighs, wishing he could be with Kurt right now. "Because you are totally worth it." 

*

The loving haze continues, for three weeks, at least. The pair text as much as they can, and skype every evening before bed. Sometimes naked, sometimes not, but both come to love the evenings when they just sit and talk equally as much as the nights when they get up to more. It's the start of their fourth week of separation when the cracks begin to show, with Blaine forewarning Kurt as much as he can that he has tests to study for, and therefore won't be able to talk as much. 

"You'll pass them even without studying," Kurt scoffs, when Blaine tries to push their usual skype time back from nine to ten. "I fail to see what difference an extra hour will make." 

"I'll pass, but I need to do more than pass. NYU has offered me my place based on me maintaining my current perfect GPA, and I can't afford to let that drop." 

"Shut up," he laughs, not noticing the frown of displeasure crossing Blaine's features. "You like to study, admit it." 

"I do, but I like talking to you more. Trust me, I wouldn't be changing the time if I didn't have to." 

"Then don't. Why do we have to lose an hour of our time together?" 

"Kurt! Please," Blaine sighs. "Don't make this difficult. I’m stressed out enough as it is. If you want to be with me, then you have to understand that my chosen career path means tons of studying. I'm all for having fun, and spending time with you, but I also have to commit time to my work." 

"Nerd." 

Blaine lets it slide, but when Kurt pesters him continually over the next few days to skype with him at nine each night, eventually Blaine loses his cool. 

"Enough!" he shouts at the laptop screen, as soon as it connects. "I told you this week I'd be online at ten. You have spent every evening, from nine until ten, pestering me to log on, which has resulted in me not getting any studying done at all! So this is it. No contact for the entire weekend, because I have to work at the garage, and then...guess what? I have to study!" 

Kurt, who has never taken kindly to being yelled at by anyone, frowns, leaning in close to the screen, and lowering his voice in anger. "You are on very dangerous ground, Blaine. You shut me out for two days, and you'll regret it. I can shut people out too, you know." 

Blaine sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Kurt, you're home next weekend. Let me have this time to study, and then next weekend I promise not to pick up a single book, okay?" 

"No!" Kurt flares. "Not okay! You know what I've done this week? Drafted my application for the job. You know what else I've done this week? Attended three different fashion shows, written example articles on each of them, and worked fifty fucking hours in the coffee house to boot. You know what else?" he yells, on fire with his anger now. "I have never once ducked out on you. I've texted and skyped with you every damn day because I don't want to let you down. When I say goodnight to you at midnight I do another three hours of work before getting up at seven to work again. So you can shove your weekend visit up your ass, Blaine Anderson, because I am not coming home!" 

"Well fuck you!" Blaine yells, even though Kurt has disconnected and his laptop screen has gone blank. 

"Blaine, buddy?" Burt calls down the stairs. "You okay?" 

"Well what the fuck do you think?" comes the reply, and rather than reprimanding him because of his language, Burt retreats to the relative safety of the den. 

The angry silence continues, on both parts, for days. Santana is walking on eggshells around Kurt, who even screams at her through the wall for showering too loudly, and Burt doesn't dare mention his son's name in the house for fear of reprisal. But Burt is Burt, and by Thursday, he has had enough. 

"Talk," he demands, the second Blaine gets home from school. Steering him into the kitchen, he pushes him into a chair, and sets a mug of coffee in front of him, ignoring Blaine's mumblings about how he's supposed to be at work until six. 

"We had a fight," Blaine mutters, once he realizes Burt is going to keep staring at him.

"I guessed that. What did you fight about?"

"He's an idiot." 

"I guessed that, too," Burt shrugs. "A long time ago. But recently he's been an idiot who is trying his hardest to love you, and I thought things were going well?" 

"I don't even know if what we were fighting about, is actually what we were fighting about," Blaine says, then sees how thoroughly confused Burt looks. "He's gone from being this elusive being, who flits in and out occasionally, to being this super attentive boyfriend, who then blows up when I tell him I need time to study. He hates that I work hard at school, and honestly? I can't see us lasting when I get to college, if this is gonna be his attitude." 

Burt listens, surprised at how long Blaine can talk when he really gets going. He's happy to note that he's still Blaine's confidant though, even if his own son is the topic of discussion. When he's done, Burt takes a moment to digest it all, then he sits up straight, and looks him right in the eye. "Want me to be honest?" 

"Please." 

"The only problem you two have, is that you're both as stubborn and pig headed as each other." 

"I'm not stubborn! He's the stubborn one, by refusing to come home." 

"So call him and ask him to visit as he planned." 

"No way! He was the one who cancelled." 

"You see?" Burt asks with a laugh. "I love you, Blaine, but I do think you're both at fault here. When you were too eager for Kurt, he shut you out rather than talking to you about it. Now he's too eager for you to deal with, so you owe it to him to talk to him about it. I know you've tried," he rushes on, before Blaine can interrupt. "But this is Kurt, and he takes some getting through to. You know him well enough by now to know that's the case. He's trying so hard to please you, and to be the boyfriend he thinks you deserve that he's hurt when you ask him to take a small step backward. I know what you're suggesting, about talking an hour less each day, is perfectly reasonable, but Kurt won't see it that way, you know that. Be patient, bite the bullet and apologize to him; explain why that extra hour of study time is important. Be honest." 

"Why?" Blaine snaps angrily. "It's not like he's honest with anyone else. He thinks it's okay to lie to you about absolutely everything, claiming now isn't the right time to be honest, but actually, he should have been honest with you all along." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Ask him," Blaine cries. "Ask him how it is, working at Vogue, and living in a fancy apartment." 

"Well you've been there," Burt chuckles. "You tell me what his apartment is like. Anyway, I thought he worked for what's it's name now? The other one?" 

"Oh, he does," Blaine nods. "Part time." 

"Part....what?" Burt asks in confusion.

"And his apartment is a shithole in Brooklyn. Happy?" Pushing back from the table, Blaine storms down the stairs to his room, falling face first on his bed, where his sudden burst of anger is replaced by tremendous guilt. 

"Oh shit," he mumbles into his comforter. "Oh shit, shit, shit. I've really fucked this up." 

After sitting in a stunned silence for quite some time, Burt picks up the phone and is surprised when Kurt answers right away. 

"If you're calling me to tell me to fly home, forget it. I'm coming anyway. Blaine's stressed out, I get that, so I'm just gonna let his little outburst slide, and come home as planned."

"Do you live in a crappy apartment?" 

"Excuse me?" 

Burt clears his throat, and carries on. "Do you live in an awful place, Kurt? In Brooklyn, and not in Central Manhattan, as you told me? Do you work part time?" 

"Where is Blaine?" Kurt's voice is low and dark, filled with a simmering anger which is set to explode any second, but Burt is persistent.

"Have you been lying to me? Why? For how long? Are you in trouble financially?" 

"Put Blaine on." 

"Why would you make out like things were so fantastic if they weren't?" 

"GIVE THE MOTHERFUCKING PHONE TO BLAINE!" Kurt yells loudly, slamming his hand down on his kitchen counter. "NOW!" 

"Fine, but this isn't over," Burt barks angrily, as he storms down the stairs. "You and me need to have a chat." 

Blaine is still lying face down on his bed, but he scrambles upright when he hears Burt, and catches the phone in his hands. "He wants to talk to you." 

"Kurt?" Blaine cries desperately. "Kurt, I'm so...." 

"Don't you ever, EVER, talk to me again, you hear? You had NO RIGHT to tell him stuff that I told you in confidence. I said I would tell him in my own time, and I would have, only now you've fucked it all up." 

"Kurt, I just....I want this to work, and it's not, and I..." 

"It's not working, because you fucked it all up by betraying my trust, you jerk!" 

"No, it's not working, because there never has been any trust, or honesty, right from the damn start! Yes, there's love, and attraction, and a longing to be together, but we can't even bring ourselves to talk to each other properly, because we're too fearful of the others reaction! This will never work if we can't...I dunno...get all the crap outta the way, and give our love the chance it needs and deserves!" 

"Blaine, do you even know how hard it was for me, to stand here, in my apartment, and bare my soul to you? To admit exactly how I felt? Do you know how scared I was? I let you see the most vulnerable side of me, the things that hurt me the most. My apartment, my job, my heart," he cries, his voice cracking. "I told you all of it, and you threw that trust back in my face." 

"I'm so sorry," Blaine whispers, horrified as the full realization of what he’s done hits him. "Really, Kurt, I'm...I'm just so sorry. I was angry at you. I didn't mean to let it all out like that. I want this to work so bad though. Please don't give up on us." 

"I won't," Kurt finds himself saying, though he's pretty sure those words can't be coming from him. "I don't want to. I want this to work more than anything. I won’t give up on you Blaine, I swear. But I'm angry at you right now, you understand that, don't you?" 

"I do," Blaine says, his voice trembling with emotion. "Can we just...can you come home this weekend? We can work this out." 

"I'm not coming home," Kurt says quietly. "Because I really mean what I said, Blaine. I want to be with you, more than anything. If I come home right now we're gonna end up fighting, and probably, knowing how stubborn I am, breaking up for good. I need some time, I think. Just....can you give me that? I need to work out what I say to dad now." 

"I understand," Blaine says, wiping at his silent tears. "This is all my fault, and I'm so sorry." 

"I'm trying, Blaine," Kurt says desperately. "I'm trying to be all that you want me to be, and I just need to.... I know how hot headed I can be, and I need to make sure that doesn't damage our relationship, okay? I'm not breaking this off though, I promise. You have my word, and I hope that counts for something at least." 

"Yes. But Kurt...." Blaine wants to say so much more, to explain that Kurt already is all he wants, just the way he is right now, but Kurt sighs, and hangs up, leaving Blaine to lie on his bed and pray he hasn't just lost the greatest thing he ever had.


	36. Chapter 36

It takes a week, but eventually, when Blaine goes online at nine as he has done every day since their fight, Kurt is there. The Skype call comes through, and Blaine accepts it quickly, relief flooding his face when Kurt appears. 

"Kurt! Thank god. I've been...." 

"I got the job." 

"Huh? You….you got the job? Kurt, that's amazing!" Blaine cries, not even stopping to realize how emotionless Kurt appears. "I'm so proud of you!" He blows kisses enthusiastically at the screen, his smile faltering when his joy is unreturned. "Kurt?" 

"Yeah. I uh....I got the job. So...." 

"You're not happy?" 

"I'm happy," he says with a shrug. "I mean, the salary is three times what I'm getting now, and it's doing what I love, so yeah, I can finally say I'm a fashion journalist based in New York. It's just that...I'm based in New York. I'll be stupidly busy." 

"Yeah, I know, but I'll be there soon," Blaine grins. "And hey, you know what? It's senior prom in two weeks. I'd love it if you'd be my date?" 

"Uh... no," Kurt says quietly, but firmly. "I won't be going to prom with you." 

"Oh." Blaine swallows hard, hiding his disappointment behind a bright smile. "Okay, well, it's Nationals the week after, though for us it's not very national, since it's only in Kentucky," he laughs. "And then my graduation. Are you coming home for that? I must owe you like....a hundred dates by now. Plus, a big I'm sorry kiss. And more, maybe," he adds with a wink, but Kurt remains stony faced, shaking his head. “I am, you know,” Blaine says quietly, his smile faltering. “Sorry, that is.”

"I know you are, but I won't be home for nationals, Blaine, or your graduation." 

"You....you won't?" 

"No. It's not... I don't think you get this. I'll be working ridiculous hours. This isn't a nine to five job. This is doing some hours in the office, writing from home, attending functions, shows, events….it's on an entirely different level." 

"Are we done?" Blaine asks in a small voice, not even daring to look up at the screen. "Are you breaking up with me? I really am so incredibly sorry Kurt, I..." 

"No. I’m not breaking up with you. I'm just saying I can't come home for your little things all the time, that's all." 

"Little things? Kurt, this is my graduation." 

"But it's not just that, is it? Come and watch me at Nationals, come to prom, come to my graduation….you're asking me to come home three weeks in a row, Blaine, and I just can't do it." 

"Okay, but I thought...maybe one of them, at least." 

"You don't get it, do you?" Kurt suddenly explodes, making Blaine look up in surprise. "I'm not in high school anymore, Blaine! I'm living a real life, in the real world, with twenty six thousand dollars of debt to pay off, a shitty apartment where the lease isn't being renewed.... I have nowhere to live, no spare cash to enjoy any of life whatsoever….you know, I was really excited about the salary, but now it's all gonna get eaten by rent for another place, there's no way I'll find anything as cheap….I call you to tell you about my job, not to mention to try and work out where you and I are heading, and all you can do is ask me to your fucking senior prom!" 

Blaine blinks, like a small, frightened owl, and Kurt braces himself for the inevitable begging, but all he gets is a sad shrug, which hurts him far more than it should. "Okay," Blaine says with a small nod. "I didn’t know...I didn’t realize how bad the situation was, I guess. I should've asked...I should...I should have talked with you about that before saying about prom.  
I'm sorry you feel that way though, about me. I kinda figured that a relationship was a two way street, like maybe you'd come support me at graduation, and then I could come to New York and help you find an apartment. We could even look over your finances together, if you'd let me, but….I don't know. Maybe you were right two years ago. Maybe Kurt Hummel isn't cut out for relationships. Sad, really, because the last time we talked, you told me you were trying to be the person I wanted....when in reality, you were exactly that person all along." 

*

"What the actual fuck are you doing in there?" Kurt screams at his living room wall, and seconds later, Santana comes storming in.

"I have had it with you! I'm doing yoga! What the fuck is your problem, Kurt? I'm not making any noise. Just...either...I don't know, go and get laid or get drunk!" 

"Oh yeah, that would be your answer, wouldn't it?" Kurt snipes, turning and burying himself in the corner of his couch. 

"It used to be yours too, until you met Blaine." 

"Who?" 

"Yeah, pretend like he doesn't exist all you want, Kurt, but he'll hold your heart forever. Stop being so pigheaded and go home to work this out with him, face to face."

"I can't." He turns back to face her, and she is surprised to see him crying freely. "Too much has gone on in my life for it to ever be happy. I've given what I can to Blaine, but I still haven't given all of myself. All those years that I let myself be used I kept one thing back. My soul. I tell myself I love Blaine, but I still can't give that over to him. Hell, I can't even tell him those three words. Then there's my dad. What the fuck is wrong with me, Tana, that I was blessed with someone as amazing as him, and yet I've never managed to come clean? That I've lied to him about my entire existence, all these years? I wouldn't even know where to begin to tell him the truth." 

"Start at the beginning," she says quietly, settling on the couch next to him and taking him in her arms. "You know what I think? He'll understand it all, but he will only understand it once you do yourself. You need to work out why you spent all those years sleeping around, drinking....what were you trying to forget? What were you trying to find? If you work that out for yourself, then you'll be able to explain it to your dad, and to Blaine, and then you'll be free from all those hang ups and really able to move forward. Great things are starting to happen to you, Kurt. The job, Blaine moving here...you need and deserve the chance to enjoy it all." 

*

"Blaine?" 

"I'm asleep." 

"Sure you are." Burt walks across the dark bedroom, flipping the lamp on next to Blaine's bed, where he lies, looking lost and forlorn. "Come on." 

"What?" 

"Hug." 

"Can't." 

Blaine rolls over with his back to Burt, who pulls him upright easily, and into his arms. "Can," he says simply, and holds Blaine while he cries. "I hate this too," he says, rubbing his hand over Blaine's back. "Especially since things were going so well. But Kurt is Kurt, and there isn't anything we can do, except be here when he decides to stop freezing us out." 

"What if I don't want to be here, though?" Blaine asks, grinding his fists into his eyes. "What if this time his broken promise is too much to bear? He stood there, Burt, in his apartment, and he promised me he'd never do this again; that it was the end of all the games and the ignoring us until it suited him. I was so happy when he called and I got carried away I know but...but now? Now it's three days until I'm supposed to sing at prom, and I can't, Burt, I just can't." 

"Oh son, I think prom is the least of your worries right now," Burt chuckles. "Don't go if you feel that way about it. They asked the New Directions to sing, not just you, so the rest of the group can deal with it. You and I will head out for dinner, then I'll beat you at cards." 

"Thank you," Blaine says with a sad nod. "I don't want this to be the end for me and Kurt," he admits quietly. "I love him with all my heart, Burt." 

"I know you do, sunshine. I know." 

*

Kurt Hummel strides purposefully through the offices of Marie Claire, until he reaches the office of Sarah, his line manager, and also, he sincerely hopes, his friend. 

"Can I come in?" he asks nervously, and she looks up, and smiles warmly. 

"Kurt! Of course! Come in, come in." 

Kurt closes the door behind him, and takes the seat she is gesturing to, where he fiddles nervously with his hands. "I uh....oh shit. I don't even know where to start. Okay. You remember Blaine, right?" 

"Of course I do! There's a picture of you two on your desk. Adorable. How is he? Are you still going strong?" 

"We're still going," Kurt says slowly. "But strong isn't the word I'd use. Falling apart, is more like it." 

"I'm sorry to hear that," Sarah says sincerely. "Do you know why?" 

"Well, actually, yes. The thing is, Sarah, I'm not....huh." He breaks off, composing himself with a few deep breaths before continuing. "I'm not a nice person. I haven't been, anyway. Not just to Blaine, but to anyone, especially my dad. I know what I want from life now, Blaine helped me realize that. I want him. I want a job that I love, and I want my dad to be happy. I've got the job, but I need to make amends with the ones I love the most, so that the rest of it can fall into place. Right now my life is one big mess and any problems between me and Blaine, or me and my dad...well, they're never going to be resolved until I resolve them myself."

"I'd agree with that," Sarah says with a nod. "I don't think anyone can ever move forward if they let their past hold them back." 

"Exactly, and I can't let go of it until I've explained myself, particularly to my dad. I've been thinking this over long and hard, and as much as I love it here, I need to go home." 

*

Burt Hummel doesn't tell anyone, but sometimes, when he's working on a car, he likes to pretend he's actually a surgeon. He secretly loves calling to Liam to hand him this tool or that, and he has conversations in his mind which involve him using complex mechanical terminology and referring to the patient instead of the car or truck.

"Wrench," he says, in his best concerned doctors voice. Liam silently hands him the tool, and Burt fiddles around under the hood of the Volvo, before handing it back. "Screwdriver." 

A screwdriver is pressed into his hand, but Burt frowns, and hands it back over his shoulder. "Not that one, the flat one." The same screwdriver is returned though, and Burt gives a grunt of dissatisfaction. "Liam! I said the flat one." 

Annoyed at having his daydream interrupted Burt turns around, and comes face to face with his son, and Liam standing behind him, grinning. "My boy!" Burt folds him up in his arms, as only Burt can do, and Kurt sags against him in relief. 

"I'm home," he whispers into his dad's shoulder. "I'm home." 

"Kurt, it is so good to see you," Burt cries happily, still not letting go.

Kurt clings on, grateful that his dad seems to have some intrinsic sixth sense, which tells him exactly when he needs to be held. "You're very pleased," he notes when he is swung around. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" 

"I thought you were mad at me." 

"Never mad," Burt laughs, ruffling his hair. "Just waiting for you to be ready. Ha! You're home. Blaine is gonna go nuts! Are you meeting him at school? Does he know?" 

"No, he doesn't know. I came right here, actually. I um...I need to talk to you, about a lot of stuff." 

"Okay," Burt shrugs. "Liam! You're in charge. My son needs me. I'll be out for the rest of the day." 

"Oh dad, you don't have to...." 

"Yes I do," Burt declares, knowing that this is the moment he's been waiting so many years for. "C'mon, I'll buy you lunch." 

Kurt starts to talk over sandwiches at the local diner. It takes a while for him to get going, and there's a lot of what Burt likes to call waffling to start, but eventually, remembering exactly why he's here, Kurt takes a deep breath. 

"You were...or still are....an amazing dad," he says quietly, as he fiddles with the straw in his soda. "The trouble is, when I was growing up I was too young to appreciate it, then when I was an adult, I was too ignorant. I left Lima thinking New York was my ticket to a better life, and in many ways, it was. But when I got to college I was out of my depth, dad, and I didn't know how to tell you that, because I felt like you'd be disappointed in me. I was a virgin, and I was gay, those were the two biggest things for me. I found it hard to make friends, it seemed as though fashion was the course where you had to prove yourself, and everyone else around me seemed so much older, and more glamorous, and so much more certain of who they were, and where their future lay. I had gone from being a big fish in a small pond to the exact opposite, I wanted to come home. I wanted to run back to you, and tell you I'd made a mistake, only fashion and journalism was all I'd ever wanted to do, so in my confusion I set out to gain attention and friends the only way I knew how, by being promiscuous. Within a week, I wasn't a virgin anymore, and within a month I had guys begging me to take them to bed. I don't even know why, I don't actually think I was all that good." 

"Kurt." He pauses to look at his dad, who looks heartbroken and incredibly close to tears. "Please." 

"Hear me out, dad, because I need to explain all this to you so I can finally put it to rest. I'm stubborn, just like you, and I have a problem asking for help, just like you. College was draining all my money, mainly because I was out at bars for most of it. How I ever passed is a mystery. Jeremy was happy to lavish money on me in return for my silence and willingness to give him the physical attention he craved, and I told myself that this suited me. It didn't, of course. I remember I used to randomly throw up, and I couldn't figure out why. Then I realized it was every time I thought of his wife and kids. I had an affair with a married man. I broke the hearts of his wife and children without a second thought. I did the worst possible thing anyone could have ever done to a family. I see how Blaine feels about Spencer, well I was that guy. I was him. Jeremy dropped me right after graduation, as you know, and suddenly I was alone with three credit cards that needed paying, and no job." 

"Kurt, why didn't you come home? I would’ve helped you, I would’ve cleared your debts...." 

"I know." Kurt nods, wiping at his eyes, grateful that they're in a quiet corner of the diner. "But I couldn't let you down like that, I just couldn't. So I lied. I got a job in a coffee house, and told you I worked for Vogue, when in fact I wrote an unpaid column for them every week which was out online. I rented...or still rent, a tiny apartment in Brooklyn, with damp on the walls, and which rattles when the trains go past. I was so depressed, so empty, and so disappointed that this perfect dream I had was shattered, that I tried to escape by going to bars. Guys were happy to buy me drinks if they knew I'd put out and pretty soon I became known for that. I couldn't even begin to count how many guys I've had sex with."

"Oh Kurt." Burt sighs, but it's sad, not judgemental, and that makes Kurt want to finish his story, to explain how things are now. 

"I buried the real me down deep. So far that I could forget all about his existence. I was horrible, dad. I've done stuff that would make you so incredibly ashamed to be my dad, and I'm so sorry for that. The weekend I first saw Blaine in your house, the reason I came home was because I had slept with Jeremy's son." 

"Kurt!" 

"I know. I felt like it couldn't get any worse, but then there was Blaine. The boy wonder who swept me off my feet, and hasn't ever let me drop. He just....ignited something inside of me. It's been slow burning, and it's taken me a long time to truly change. Blaine knows a lot of the truth, but I don’t think he truly grasps that I have no money, a pile of debt and that I’m still hurting. I'm actually grateful to him for telling you that time, because it's made me face up to reality. I don't want to lose you, or him, and I need to lay all my cards on the table here. This is me right now. I have a job at Marie Claire, thanks to Blaine's belief in me. Things are starting to get better. The thought of being a fully fledged fashion journalist terrifies but excites me. Right now, as of today, I have a month in Ohio. I still have to work, but they've scaled it back for me as much as they can so that I can do it all from here. I'm hoping I'm right to assume that this means they also have faith in me. The salary is better, and I'm happier, but in many ways, things are worse. The lease is about to run out on my apartment and the landlord won't renew it. I have twenty six thousand dollars worth of debt still to pay off, and I'm also, more than anything, worried that I've lost the two people I love most in this world. I'm sorry, dad. That's all I can say. I'm sorry for my behavior, for not being honest, and above all, I'm sorry for not being the son you deserved." 

"I told you how much you mattered," Burt says quietly. "I tried...." 

"You did," Kurt stresses, reaching across to hold his hand. "You really did. I went to New York dreaming of that, of finding the one, and falling in love, of marriage, and babies, and everything else in between. The trouble is, I couldn't find it, because he was still in elementary school." 

"Who was? Oh! Blaine! You want all that with Blaine? Does he know?" 

"He knows, and he wants the same," Kurt says with a shy smile. "But before you go building a crib, or booking some fancy wedding venue, just remember those things are a long way off. Blaine and I are just starting out, and if we make it that will happen way in the future. Don't forget how young Blaine actually is. I mean, in many ways he's still a kid." 

"Uh...shall we move on?" Burt asks, and both of them manage a laugh. "We'll be arrested if people listen in on this conversation." 

"Sure. So...Blaine was....is….young...yeah, but I know, I'm certain, he was put on this earth not only for me, but for both of us, to make us happy, and to complete us as a family. Not that I've ever felt something is missing, but...." 

"He brings something that makes us whole." 

"Exactly," Kurt smiles. "I just hope he'll hear me out, because I have a lot I need to say to him." 

"I'm sure he will," Burt says with a nod. "Let's go home." 

"Huh?" Kurt frowns, as his dad throws some bills down on the table, and stands up ready to leave. "That's all you've got to say?" 

"Nope. But I want to say it in private." 

*

"Sit," Burt demands once they're in the living room, and Kurt doesn't dare disagree. "Now you listen. Kurt, you never needed to explain any of this to me, but I'm glad you did. It helps me to understand you better, I think. I'm disappointed you lied, but I see why you did, because you hold the same streak of wanting to please people as I do. It also explains why you threw yourself around so much, because you were frightened of being seen as dull and boring. I don't know, maybe I should have told you that your big love probably won't be the first person you meet, but then for Blaine it was, so... I don't know. The whole affair thing was the lowest thing you could have done, but you realize that now, and it's dead and buried. I don't believe in dwelling on the past, Kurt. It's gone. It's happened and it wasn't great, but you can determine your future.  
So here's what we're going to do. At the end of this month, when Blaine graduates, the three of us are going to New York. I need to sort out his dorms, and buy him some stuff anyway, but while we're there, we're going to find you a bigger and better apartment, in a nicer part of town. You want my advice? I'd ask Santana to room with you for a year, to help with the rent, then she can move out, and Blaine can move in, or you can get somewhere else, maybe. Either way, I'll pay your deposit, and first three months up front, and then for a year I'll pay half your rent each month. I’ll do all that on the understanding that, one, you are always, always honest with me, two, you let me come visit, and three, you let me pay off half your debts." 

"No way," Kurt says angrily. "That's stupid. It's my debt, not yours, and I'm almost thirty!" 

"Yeah, and you're sittin' there telling me you want babies with Blaine, and marriage, and all the rest of it. You can't be starting all that with debt hanging over you. You might be stubborn, my boy, but I'm worse. You either take my offer as it stands, or you're on your own." 

"I'd rather be on my own," Kurt grumbles. 

"But?" 

"But I accept your offer," he says quietly, as he starts to cry. "Thank you, dad. Thank you." 

"And now you have to let me cuddle you." 

"Whatever," Kurt says, but he falls into his dad's arms, with a grateful sob. 

"And you have to take Blaine to prom." 

"I hate prom," Kurt moans. "But yes, that's why I came home today, instead of tomorrow." 

"Good boy." 

"Dad?" 

"Hmm?" 

"I love you." 

"I love you too, Kurt. Always."


	37. Chapter 37

Blaine parks Bessie carefully in the garage, stopping on his way out to smooth a hand over her hood as he always does. She might only be a car, but he feels as though she understands him, and feels his despondency and pain. He trudges wearily into the house, sighing when he notices Burt's keys and hat are gone. He would have liked his company today. 

"Hello Blaine." 

"Holy fucking shit!" Blaine screams, when Kurt appears in the kitchen doorway. "Are you trying to kill me?" 

"Don’t curse. Sorry. I just...." 

"Why are you home?" 

The defensive stance Blaine has, of his arms folded and jaw jutting out in anger is a long way from the 'going nuts' that Burt had talked about, but Kurt can’t blame him one bit. 

"I came to take my boyfriend to prom." 

"Why do you always do this?" Blaine cries, throwing his hands up in the air. "The first few times, yes, it was a wonderful surprise, and I could forgive you for being moody, but now? You think it's okay to freeze me out, and then reappear like Santa, and that will make it all okay!" 

"Actually, it's not like that at all," Kurt says, and his quiet tone makes Blaine listen. "I've been figuring things out in my head, and I've spent most of this afternoon talking to dad." 

"You told him the truth?" 

"Yes." 

"I'm proud of you," Blaine says softly, and he lets his arms drop, walking over to Kurt. "It doesn't make everything okay between us, but I know that took a lot of courage, so well done." 

"Blaine....kiss me?" 

Blaine kisses him, but it's full of hurt and pain and he keeps it brief, pulling back with a shake of his head. 

"Please let me take you to prom?" 

"I guess," Blaine shrugs lightly. 

"Can we talk first?" 

"Not right now, Kurt," Blaine says sadly, as he heads toward the basement stairs. "Let's just get ready." 

"No. I mean, yes, I want to, but..." 

"I'm not going to bed with you, if that's what you're after." 

"It's not! Jesus, Blaine! I'm trying here, and all you're doing is assuming the worst. I want to talk to you before we go, please, if you'll listen." 

"I said not right now." 

"And I'm saying the opposite," Kurt says firmly, and Blaine knows he won't back down. 

"Fine," he huffs, pulling out a chair at the kitchen table. "Talk." 

Blaine listens in quiet admiration as Kurt opens up, explaining everything that he told his dad, and his hopes for the future. He holds it together, just, but when he looks up, seconds away from tears, Blaine reaches across to hold his hand. 

"All that money you spent on flights," Blaine whispers. "That's all I keep thinking. You were in debt, but you kept flying back and forth." 

"You're kind of worth it." 

"Did you do it for me, though? Or did you do it to try and escape for a moment, however brief?" 

"Both, probably," Kurt admits. 

"I'm glad you told your dad everything, and thank you for making me listen when I really didn't want to," Blaine says, letting go of Kurt's hand and folding his own hands neatly in his lap. 

"There's a but coming, isn't there?" 

"Yeah." Blaine sighs, pushing his thumbs into the corners of his eyes. "I guess it's my turn to be honest with you, right? I feel as though.....when I see my future I see it with you. But then, when I look at my present, and you're there, it's so messed up. Since dad died my life has been this roller coaster of emotion. I went through all that hell with mom and Spencer, not to mention his jerk sons. I met Burt, and my whole life changed, and I thought you were my one shot at happiness with someone I love, but that hasn’t been the case at all." 

"You haven’t been happy?" 

"I've been happy, of course I have, but it's...it's like everytime I am happy, you freeze me out, and it makes me fearful for what's gonna happen between us in New York. Am I going to head to your apartment one Tuesday after class, only to get there and you won't let me in? Are you going to stand me up if we arrange a date, and then not speak to me for three weeks? Every time you cut me out it has consequences, Kurt, and that consequence is that it chips away at the trust and faith I have in us to be able to make it. To be honest, right now, I'm not sure it's something I want to go through anymore." 

Pale, and feeling sick to his stomach, Kurt swallows hard. "What if I promise you I wouldn't do that, though?" 

"I don't know if it's enough," Blaine admits sadly. "When I told your dad about your job and apartment, that was a shitty move, and you were angry. I didn't blame you one bit for that, and I was impressed that you told me you needed some time out, but it was a whole week of silence again, then you return and blow up at me when I ask you to prom! It wasn't that the other stuff wasn't important to me, Kurt, it was just that I was trying to cheer you up. You do this all the time, flare up over the smallest thing then cut me out before reappearing and expecting everything to be okay. I don't know if your promise is enough for me, Kurt. I'm so sorry." 

"Not as sorry as I am, if I've lost the greatest thing that ever happened to me," Kurt whispers, unable to stop a tear from escaping. "Look, Blaine, can we...can we just have tonight, at least? I'm home for a month now, maybe we can work on things, maybe we can't, but...I just really want to take you to your prom." 

"You're home for a month? What about your job?" 

"I'm never going to enjoy, or be any good at my job if I'm unhappy with the rest of my life. I went to them with the intention of quitting, to fly home and make this right. They surprised me by giving me a month to work from here instead." 

"I see." Blaine sits a moment, trying to digest the fact that Kurt was prepared to give up his dream job to work this out. "Okay. We'll go to prom." 

*

Burt is triumphant, and completely oblivious to both his sons pain, as he lines them up for photo after photo when they're dressed in their elegant tuxedos before kissing them both on the cheek and instructing them to have fun.

Kurt escorts Blaine out to the car, ever the gentleman, and holds Bessie's door open for him. "You look beautiful," he says with a small smile. 

"The car, or me?" 

"You, doofus," Kurt laughs, and he leans in to kiss Blaine's cheek, surprised when Blaine turns and captures his lips instead. It is only brief, but Kurt notices the spark instantly, and he hopes Blaine has too. They ride to the prom in silence, mainly because Kurt is too nervous to say anything, and Blaine doesn't know what to say. It is only once they are in the gym, with the distraction of other people and the decorations, that they begin to talk once more. 

"Why is that moron here?" Kurt asks, as Jackson walks past. "He's not a senior." 

"New Directions are performing." 

"You're singing?" 

Blaine gives a rueful smile as he fills two cups with punch. "No, Kurt. They are, not me. I wasn't gonna come." 

"You...." 

"You said no, and I had no interest in going with anyone else." 

"Not even Jackson?" 

Blaine laughs, embarrassed. "Especially not Jackson, though no doubt he would have been quite pleased if I'd asked. Your dad was going to take me out to dinner but I told him not to bother so...yeah, I was expecting an evening at home." 

"Oh." Kurt takes his punch, and they stand shoulder to shoulder, surveying the already busy dance floor. He greets Mike, Tina and even Sam, politely when they come over to say hello, but tunes their conversation with Blaine out to mull over his own thoughts instead. 

"Kurt?" 

"Huh? Sorry?" He turns to see Blaine, looking at him expectantly, but when he notices Kurt hasn't been listening, he rolls his eyes. 

"Don't worry about it." 

"No, no, it wasn't like that!" Kurt says as the others trail away. "Please, Blaine, I was just..." 

"Hey Blaine!" 

"Oh you can just fuck off," Kurt snaps at Jackson, who takes a step backward. "You have picked the wrong day to anger me. Stay the hell away from my boyfriend. He's not interested, you're being creepy, now stop!" 

"Uh...yeah, Jackson, sorry," Blaine says, taking Kurt by surprise. "Kurt is right. I'm not interested." 

"Fine," he huffs, holding his hands up and backing away. "But I'm telling you, I'm a nicer guy than he is." 

"Actually, you're not," Blaine says, taking Kurt's hand firmly in his. "He's...he's wonderful." 

"Oh," Kurt says, once they're alone again. "That was surprising." 

He's hoping for a sudden outpouring of emotion from Blaine, but all he gets is "Hmm, well." Still, the small smile Blaine gives makes it all so much better and he does at least keep ahold of Kurt's hand. 

"So...you're not singing tonight, but are you singing at Nationals next week?" Kurt asks awkwardly.

"Might be." 

"Solo?" 

"Possibly." 

"Do I get any hints?" 

"No." 

"Blaine, I don't want to, but I'm just gonna ask this. Are we breaking up? Are we done?"

Blaine sighs, closing his eyes, and letting his head fall back against the wall for a moment. "I want to say no," is what he eventually comes up with. "I really don't want to break up with you, Kurt, but I just don't know if I can do this. I... I...just don't know." 

Kurt nods, swallowing hard as he lets go of Blaine's hand. "I see. Um....can you just...like...gimme five minutes?" It's a question, but he doesn't wait for the answer, pushing through the crowd, with Blaine running after him. 

"Kurt! Kurt! Don't do this! Don't walk away again!" 

"I'll come back," Kurt says, whirling around on the spot. In the middle of the dance floor he takes Blaine's face tenderly in his hands and kisses his lips. "I'll come back, I swear. Just.....give me these five minutes, please." 

Blaine doesn't know how long he stands there for, but it is Mike who comes to his rescue with a strong hand on his shoulder as he guides him, not out of the gym, as Blaine would have liked, but just to the side of the crowd where it is at least slightly quieter. 

"Blaine, you're one of my closest friends, so I'm just gonna say this. Don't give up on Kurt, or your relationship. Please." 

"I don't want to," Blaine cries desperately. "God, I love him so much, this isn't what I want at all, but it just....doesn't work. Like now, he stormed off and I don't even know where he's gone." 

"So stay here with me, and listen to the music instead." 

Blaine sighs, grateful for Mike's presence. "I thought you were singing with Tina?" 

"We're up next. Jackson's first." 

"Oh great," Blaine groans with a laugh, as the lights come up on the stage. "That's all I need." 

But it’s Kurt who walks onto the stage, with a confident air that belies his true terror as he strides toward the microphone. "Hello everyone, hi. My name is Kurt, um...so I'm not in New Directions, I'm not even in high school, but I did used to go here. I'm rambling. For those who were expecting Jackson, whatever, I've taken over. It's just me. Well, Sam, and some piano guy," Kurt says, gesturing to where Sam sits with his guitar, "But we'll ignore them. I'm going to sing now, and this song is for my beautiful Blaine. So listen," he adds, squinting out into the crowd, until he sees him. "Please Blaine, listen to what I'm trying to say." 

"Wow. Does Kurt sing?" Mike asks, as he guides Blaine further forward. 

"I don't know," Blaine admits. "He used to sing in the show choir, but...." He is cut off as the music starts, and he notices how Kurt looks out into the crowd of students, rather than directly at him. His voice is low to start and Blaine is struck not only by the smooth, subtle and rich tone to it, but also by the lyrics, which seem to have been written for Kurt to sing. 

"I tell myself it don't mean a thing,  
And what we got, got no hold on me  
But when you're not there I just crumble

I tell myself I don't care that much,  
But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch."

This time, Kurt does look at Blaine and the very breath is knocked from him as Kurt's voice soars beautifully into his higher register. The sound is pure, and utterly flawless. The pain and anguish of their situation is etched on Kurt's face as he sings, which only serves to make it more real for Blaine, who gasps and covers his mouth with his hand. 

"Only love, only love can hurt like this,  
Only love can hurt like this  
Must have been a deadly kiss  
Only love can hurt like this."

"He..." Blaine says weakly, but he can't manage another word when Kurt makes and holds eye contact, his voice becoming low again for the next verse.

“Say I wouldn't care if you walked away,  
But every time you're there I'm begging you to stay,  
When you come close I just tremble

And every time, every time you go,  
It's like a knife that cuts right through my soul

Only love, only love can hurt like this  
Only love can hurt like this,  
Must have been a deadly kiss,  
Only love can hurt like this,  
Only love can hurt like this

Your kisses burn into my skin,  
Only love can hurt like this  
But it's the sweetest pain,  
Burning hot through my veins,  
Love is torture makes me more sure.

"He...." Blaine starts again, and he's incredibly grateful for the strong arm Mike puts around his shoulders. He feels as though he could listen to Kurt sing forever, and standing there, in the high school gym, he vows to himself that he will do whatever it takes to make their relationship work. 

"Only love can hurt like this,  
Your kisses burn into my skin,  
Only love can hurt like this,  
Only love can hurt like this,  
Save me, save me,  
Only love, only love,  
'Cause only love can hurt like this  
And it must have been a deadly kiss."

Blaine stands, in stunned amazement next to Mike, who wipes away a couple of tears as the crowd, who have all stopped dancing to listen to Kurt, cheer wildly. 

"I have to go sing," Mike says weakly. "Holy shit, I have to follow that. Blaine, you okay?" 

And Blaine turns, blinking, as he emerges from his haze, and smiles brightly. "Yeah," he says, catching sight of Jackson looking dumbstruck. "Yeah, I'm...I'm good." 

Kurt arrives in a matter of moments, pink cheeked with exhilaration, yet trying to play it cool. "Told you I'd be back," he says with a smile, one which Blaine shyly returns. 

"You....yeah. You did." 

"What did you think?" Kurt asks, as Tina and Mike take to the stage and start singing Endless Love. 

"It was....yeah, good," Blaine says, and the way he rubs the back of his neck makes Kurt wonder if he secretly knows what that does to him. "You can sing really well." 

"Would you like to dance?" 

This time Blaine's smile is sure and certain as he takes Kurt's offered arm. "I'd love to." 

They barely dance, however, just hold each other close and relish being in one another's arms. Blaine nuzzles in sweetly just above Kurt's collar, sighing happily at the feeling of Kurt's lips grazing over his temple, and that is how they stay for the longest time. They don't really listen to the music, or pay any attention to those around them until they are accidentally bumped by another couple, who hastily apologize. 

"They sing well," Kurt says of Tina and Mike, coming out of his daydream, but Blaine wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. 

"Not as well as you. I mean, they're my friends, and they're good, but...you're all...you." 

Ever so softly, Kurt brings one hand up to Blaine's cheek, caressing his smooth skin and looking into his eyes. "I love you, Blaine," he says quietly, and Blaine realizes his eyes are shining with happiness. "I've loved you for so long, and I'm sorry I get things wrong, and mess stuff up, but I promise to try so hard, if you'll only give me the chance to spend the rest of my life loving you." 

Blaine leans in, pressing his face against Kurt's cheek and closing his eyes happily. "I love you too," he whispers, his voice just carrying over the music. "You are everything to me, and I'm never gonna let you go. You don't mess things up though, Kurt. We both get things wrong together, and we have to learn to put them right together too. Neither of us are perfect, but I know we're meant to be, and I know you feel that too. That song was....incredible. Not just because of your amazing vocals, but because those words seem to be all I've been waiting to hear. This is love, I'm sure of it, and yes, it hurts, but it's so worth it." 

Kurt wants to reply with something profound, but when Blaine pulls back slightly to look into his eyes again, all he can say is "I love you." 

"I love you too." 

"That's good then, isn't it?" 

Blaine grins, biting his bottom lip. "Very." He lets his hands slide into Kurt's hair as he studies him intently. He notices Kurt's arms moving to circle his waist, under his jacket, keeping him close as their foreheads rest together and for a moment they stay that way, just looking at one another. "You do realize that your declaration has pretty much guaranteed you the best sex of your entire life, right?" Blaine teases, his voice low. 

"Absolutely," Kurt says with a small nod. "That's why I said it." 

Blaine grins, his lips grazing over Kurt's and sending a jolt through them both. "Thought as much." 

Kurt closes the final gap between them, capturing Blaine's lips in a kiss that is full of passion and love. The dam breaks, and their feelings rush forth, with Blaine breathing sharply through his nose and tugging on Kurt's hair, opening his mouth wide and relishing the feel of Kurt's soft, warm lips on his. 

Kurt moans loudly, with little or no thought for all the people around them, his one hand splayed firmly on the small of Blaine's back, and the other rubbing over his hip. The first touch of Blaine's tongue against his own has him trying to press his body even closer, because he needs more of Blaine's touch, more of his love. 

"It's like a live sex show," Sam comments as he looks on and Mike and Tina, having returned from the stage, have to agree. 

"Why don't you ever kiss me like that?" Tina asks Mike, who suddenly becomes very interested in the punch bowl. 

Their kiss breaks eventually, though with reluctance on both parts, and Blaine is unable to keep himself from trailing kisses along Kurt's jaw, and down his neck. "Let's go." 

"Huh?" Kurt asks, feeling weak and dazed. "Now?" 

"Yeah." 

"But this is your prom." 

"And it's been amazing, but I need more kisses like that, and I think we really need to be alone." 

"Oh. Okay," Kurt says, shrugging and taking Blaine's hand in his. "I love you." 

Blaine laughs loudly, kissing his lips once more. "Anything to get laid, Hummel. I love you too."


	38. Chapter 38

Blaine and Kurt walk quickly to the car, not doing anything other than gazing at each other and smiling, until Blaine pushes Kurt up against the side of Bessie and kisses him fiercely. "I love you," he murmurs, before going back in for more. "I love you so much." 

"Those three words are never gonna get old," Kurt whispers, and this time when Blaine kisses him again, he lets his hand wander to the front of his dress pants, where he rubs firmly. "Blaine... I want you so bad." 

"I know, I know. We have to move, though. Sex in the school parking lot is never gonna be a wise idea." 

"I'll drive," Kurt says, unlocking the car and holding the passenger door open for Blaine. "Cause you're a Sunday driver." 

"Am not!" Blaine says with a laugh when Kurt gets in the other side. 

"You are, Blaine. You always stick to the speed limits." 

"They're there for a reason!" 

"To be broken," Kurt declares, as he guns the car down the road. "But that's okay, I love you in spite of your grandad driving." 

"Thanks." 

"And your grandad sweater selection." 

"It's summer now, I'm not wearing a sweater," Blaine grouches affectionately as he plays with Kurt's fingers. 

"And your grandad love of plaid." 

"Shut up!" 

"Actually, I love you because of all those things," Kurt decides as he turns Bessie sharply. "Because that's what makes you, you." 

"Kurt?" 

"Yes Blaine?" 

"Do you still love me?" 

"Always, Blaine," Kurt replies with a grin. "Quite simply, I will forever." 

"Just checking, cause I still love you," Blaine says casually and they drive the rest of the way home with enormous grins on their faces. 

Kurt parks Bessie in the garage, the stark lighting making them both blink as they step from the car and Kurt pulls the door down. "Blaine?" 

Blaine stops on his way to the house door, and turns around. Kurt looks stunning. His bow tie is undone, and hangs around the open collar of his shirt. His lips are swollen and pink from all their kissing, his hair slightly mussed. Blaine walks forward, raising one eyebrow as he sits against Bessie's hood and tugs Kurt between his legs. "Yes?" 

"Um...I don't know. I forget," Kurt says weakly, letting his fingers play with the curls at the back of Blaine's neck. "You're..." He trails off and shakes his head, overwhelmed with love for the man in front of him, with dark, shining eyes, the shadow of stubble along his jaw, and the perfect curve of a smile on his face. 

"So are you." 

That’s all it takes for Kurt to fall into a deep kiss, pushing Blaine backwards. He eagerly tugs Kurt on top of him with a satisfied moan when their bodies press together, and they lie on Bessie's hood making out so hard they can barely catch their breath. Kurt loses his jacket quickly, then hurriedly unbuttons Blaine's shirt, groaning and kissing over his chest frantically. "Fuck. Love this...so much," he gets out between kisses. Hands, teeth, lips and tongues are everywhere when Blaine flips them, untucking Kurt's shirt and trailing his tongue over his stomach, making the muscles flutter as he moves lower. 

"Blaine," Kurt moans, when he hops off the hood to tug Kurt's pants down. "Blaine, we need to move inside....get lube." 

"No, no, we can go without," Blaine murmurs, burying his head in Kurt's groin and mouthing over his erection, which is barely contained in a pair of tight black briefs. 

"No," Kurt laughs, "We can't." 

But Blaine ignores him, lowering Kurt's briefs and engulfing him in the heat of his mouth. "Fuck me!" Kurt cries, bucking upward and tangling his fingers frantically in Blaine's hair. 

Blaine works magic with his tongue, reducing Kurt to a wreck within minutes, and the shock of his orgasm approaching makes him sit up quickly, pushing at Blaine's shoulder. "Stop," he moans weakly, and he lets out a soft cry when Blaine pulls back immediately. "No, don't stop." 

"Don't? But you told me to..." 

"I know. Do stop, really, just...ugh. That was intense." Lying back on the hood, he tries to catch his breath but then Blaine is over him, kissing down his neck before slowly unbuttoning his shirt. 

"I love you," he whispers, letting Kurt calm down as he gently teases with featherlight kisses. "I love every inch of you." 

"C'mon," Kurt says, nudging at his shoulder again. "Let's go inside." 

Blaine stands, assisting Kurt, who wraps his arms around his neck and finds his lips again, and that is how they travel inside; kissing passionately, with Blaine only wearing his pants, and Kurt entirely naked except for his open shirt. 

"I still love you," Blaine says once they're safely shut in his room and Kurt is back in his arms. 

"You better." Kurt gives a wink, then tugs Blaine closer with his waistband, unable to be parted from his lips for too long. Blaine is naked in moments, and pushes Kurt's shirt from his shoulders before he holds him tightly in his arms, both of them taking a moment to slow the rush of fervent desire. "I know I like, keep saying it," Kurt whispers, kissing the tip of Blaine's nose. "But I love you." 

"I’ll never get tired of hearing it," Blaine grins, "so it's entirely welcome." 

"I want you," Kurt says weakly, when Blaine starts to suck on his pulse point. Blaine gives a soft moan of appreciation, letting his hand travel down to grasp Kurt's cock which is hard, wet, and desperate for attention. 

"I want you so much," Kurt gets out again, throwing his head back for Blaine to kiss into the hollow of his throat, but Blaine doesn't catch on, keeping up his trail of hot kisses until Kurt grasps his face in his hands and looks him right in the eye. "Take me, Blaine." 

Blaine opens his mouth instinctively, to ask Kurt if he's sure, but then he stops. No questions are needed, Kurt's eyes say it all. So with a small nod, Blaine takes his hand and leads him to the bed, snatching lube from the nightstand before lying next to him. 

"Uh….if I hurt you...." 

"I'll bite you," Kurt says with a satisfied smile, and Blaine gives an adorably breathy laugh, shaking his head while he pours lube onto his fingers. 

"Not quite what I was thinking, but if you want to get all kinky about it, far be it from me to stop you." 

"Goofball," Kurt says affectionately, then shuts up and happily takes the kiss Blaine offers, gasping into his mouth at the feel of Blaine's slick fingers trailing over him. 

It's the little things Blaine notices as he slowly works his fingers inside of Kurt, like the way his breath comes out rough, yet soft, interspersed with quiet moans. The way his hand rubs distractedly over his hip in time with Blaine's movements, and the way a dark red flush of desire slowly spreads across his chest, up his neck and to his cheeks. He notices too, the taste of Kurt in his mouth, something that is uniquely him, and the wet, smooth, feel of his lips as they part and their kisses become nothing more than a hot, open mouthed press of lips. The beads of sweat on Kurt's forehead, the way his eyes only partially open, hooded and heavy with want, and the way his other hand rubs sweetly at the back of Blaine's neck. 

Blaine is trembling with nerves when he finally kneels between Kurt's legs and slicks himself with lube, but the sight of Kurt, so open, willing and ready, with a blazing smile of certainty, makes him more sure, and he pushes inside slowly, gripping tightly behind Kurt's knees until he comes to rest, throwing his head back with a moan. 

"Oh god. That's...that's..." He doesn't finish, but starts to move instead. Slowly and carefully to start, but the soft whimpers of pleasure from Kurt, the way his hips rise up in time with Blaine's thrusts, and the way he tugs on his own hair only serves to spur Blaine on and pick up his pace. 

"Blaine....touch me," Kurt moans loudly, but Blaine shakes his head and pulls out, lying down on his side. 

"Like this," he says quietly, kissing Kurt's shoulder, as he spoons behind him, and hooks his leg over his thigh. "Yes. Oh.....Kurt." He moves quickly, his hips snapping back and forth as he lets one hand move around to Kurt's cock. 

"Blaine, so good," Kurt cries, letting his head rest back on Blaine's shoulder. They try to kiss but don't manage it, so Blaine bites into the soft flesh of Kurt's shoulder instead, driving deeper each time. "Yes, Blaine, make me feel you....fuck, yes." 

"Hold up." Blaine suddenly pulls out again, sitting against the headboard and encouraging Kurt into his lap. 

"What is this?" Kurt asks with a laugh as he sits astride him and rubs their erections together. "It will happen again, you know, we don't need to try every position in the Kama Sutra right now." 

"I know," Blaine says, his voice cracking as their cocks rub together. "But I love you, and I need to watch your face and I need to kiss you." 

"I'll allow it," Kurt says with a smile, and as he slowly sinks down around Blaine, he leans in and kisses him. The passion builds again quickly, and soon the kissing stops in favor of pressing their foreheads together, with Kurt's hands locked around the back of Blaine's neck. "Oh," he says quietly, when one of Blaine's hands starts to stroke him in time with his hard thrusts. "Oh, Blaine...." 

Blaine keeps his other arm around Kurt's waist, holding him tight as he drives upward, over and over again, until he’s wound so tightly inside it feels like he could snap at any second. "Come for me, Kurt," he pants desperately, finding his lips and giving hot kisses over and over which gradually turns into him biting at his lower lip. "Come on, Kurt. I love you, beautiful. Come." 

"Oh fuck!" is all Kurt manages, pressing himself as close to Blaine as he can. His orgasm hits hard and repeatedly, making him writhe on Blaine's cock. "You," he moans weakly. "Always you, Blaine...oh god, always you." 

Blaine releases at last, with a loud cry of pleasure as he rides out a seemingly never ending orgasm, his fingers gripping Kurt's hips so hard that he leaves bruises in his wake. Eventually he gives one last shudder and falls back weakly against the headboard, pulling Kurt against his chest and ignoring the strange feeling of his own orgasm steadily leaking over him. 

"Mess," Kurt mumbles, but Blaine just holds him tighter, kissing into his hair. 

"Sleepy." 

And that is how they wake in the morning. Still together, though they have slipped further down the bed, and Blaine now lies almost flat with Kurt on top of him. He's no longer inside him either, but he hardens almost instantly when he thinks back to the events of the previous night. 

Kurt wakes to the feeling of Blaine pressing against his still stretched entrance, and his eyes fly wide open as he lifts his head in surprise. 

"I'm trying so hard not to just fuck you senseless," Blaine groans. "But waking up like this is torture." 

"Don't fight it then," Kurt whispers, kissing him tenderly. "Take me again." 

They finally emerge late morning, walking sheepishly into the kitchen, holding hands and sharing lovesick smiles. "They live," Burt says, lowering his newspaper and giving them both a pointed look. "Prom was good then?" 

"Um...yes," Kurt says, frowning slightly, and then he looks on the table. Neatly folded are all the clothes they left in the garage the night before, with Kurt's black briefs on the top of the pile. Their shoes just seem to complete the picture, set carefully on the floor, side by side. 

"Oh. Um...." 

"That's not what it looks like," Blaine says quickly, turning a brilliant shade of scarlet. "I mean, it is what it looks like, but it's not....um..." 

"It better not be," Burt grouches, watching as Blaine pours coffee, first for Kurt, and then for himself. "Cause I'm telling you, if you two violated Bessie, I'm taking her back." 

"Oh no, we didn't....no. We would never have….we came inside." 

Blaine's eyes go wide when he realizes what he's said, and he hears Kurt make some kind of inhuman noise as he hides his face, but luckily, Burt seems oblivious. 

"Good. Right. I'm going to the shop for a while. No doubt you two will be off somewhere when I get back." 

"Well, we were kinda thinking of taking Bessie for a drive, if you wanted to come with us?" Blaine offers, and Burt stops in the doorway. 

"Is she clean?" 

"Yes dad, she's clean," Kurt says, rolling his eyes. 

"Okay. Sure. I'll be back in a couple of hours." 

Burt leaves and Kurt sits at the kitchen table, waiting until he hears the front door close. "We came inside? Really Blaine?" 

Blaine laughs, embarrassed, as he sets Kurt's mug down in front of him. "I know. I didn't think. My brain is fried. My everything is fried, actually." 

Kurt laughs, tackling him around his waist and pulling him down into his lap. "C'mere, you adorable fluffy thing." 

"What?" Blaine rubs a hand self consciously over his wild hair. "I think I preferred bastard." 

"I love you," Kurt says, looking up and seeking the kisses he knows Blaine will give. 

"I love you too, and I'm so glad you faced your fears and came clean about everything, cause this is just....magical." 

"I'm glad you think that," Kurt says, playing with the buttons on Blaine's shirt. "Because now that I've faced my fears, I think it's time for you to face yours."

"What are you talking about?" 

"I think you need to visit your mom." 

"What? No." Blaine is firm, extracting himself from Kurt's embrace and crossing to the other side of the kitchen where he folds his arms over himself. "I haven't seen her in a year, and that suits me just fine." 

"It doesn't," Kurt says evenly. "And like you said, it's been a year. I want you to call her, and tell her we'll go visit right after graduation." 

"We?" 

"Well I'm not going to let you go on your own, am I?" Kurt says, with a roll of his eyes. "Unless of course, you don't want me to..." 

"Of course I do, but….are you sure? I mean, she wasn't exactly friendly to you." 

"No, but she has to accept that I'm part of your life, and if she wants to see you, or her eventual grandkids, then I'm gonna be a part of that." 

"I don't think....a visit...no." 

"We can stay in a hotel." 

"I don't think she wants anything to do with me, Kurt," he says in a small voice, and Kurt crosses the kitchen to hold him close. 

"She does. She's been trying, hasn't she? Calling more, and genuinely wanting to talk to you. I don't think you'll ever have a warm relationship with her, but I do think you'll have something, and that something is important to have." 

Blaine shakes his head, his eyes downcast as he rests against Kurt's shoulder. "You know, it's like I represent her old life, and she just doesn't want to be reminded of that. I'm graduating in two weeks, and she hasn’t even mentioned it." 

"So why don't you call her and ask her to come?" 

"I did." 

"Oh. And?" 

"And she just said, 'Oh I can't do that Blaine,' even though I told her she could stay here or whatever, she just won't come." 

"Oh Blaine," Kurt sighs, kissing into his hair. "We'll be there for you, me and dad." 

"I know," Blaine gives a sad nod, drawing his lips into a thin line as he tries to hold it together. "And I'm so eternally grateful..." 

"It's not the same, I know, you can say it." 

"It's not, no, but it's better," Blaine says, kissing his cheek. "Cause you both love me. I think of Burt as my dad, and you, well you're just.....you're really good in bed, I guess." 

"Ha! Thank you," Kurt grins, then he leans in and nuzzles softly against him, loving the feel of Blaine's stubble grazing against him. 

"Wanna hear a secret?" Blaine whispers, after a while.

"Sure." 

"I'm extremely excited about moving to New York, and seeing you all the time, but sometimes, when I think about leaving your dad behind, I cry because it makes my heart hurt so much." 

"Yep. You really are fluffy and adorable," Kurt murmurs, as he runs his hands over his back. "Though actually, I do know where you're coming from with that." 

"You do?" 

"Yeah. Without doubt, the hardest thing for me was leaving dad behind. It still hurts, actually. I have a bad day, or whatever, and I just want to be able to show up on his doorstep and have him hold me." 

"Yeah, he gives the best hugs," Blaine sighs, yelping when Kurt kicks his shin. 

"Does not." 

"Well….you know what I mean," Blaine chuckles. "I still miss my dad, but it's just like I gained another dad too, and he's just...amazing." 

"I know, and I'm not gonna lie, when you move away nothing will be the same again, but all that said, he will come visit us and we can explore the city together. He'll have us coming home for the holidays, and you know, this is the start of your future, Blaine. Our future. One day, dad will be coming to our home, and our kids will be all excited to see their grandpa..." 

"I like the sound of that," Blaine says, smiling as his eyes glaze over, and he imagines it. "Yeah."

"NASA engineer and celebrated fashion journalist, the Anderson-Hummels." 

Blaine bites his lip and grins, rubbing the back of his neck. "Mmm. So, your dad and I kinda planned to take Bessie on a road trip when school gets out. Will you come with us?" 

"I'll have to work," Kurt says with a frown. "But I could maybe join you for a few days?" 

"You don't mind if I take off with him?" 

"As long as you bring him back." 

"I promise I will."

"Then I approve." 

"Hey, can I ask you something?" 

"Of course."

"Now that we're like...properly on track and stuff...do you want to move in together?" 

Kurt is immediately on guard, not quite sure what Blaine wants to hear, though he knows perfectly well what he wants to say. "Uh.... That's...that's quite a big.....um...don't you want to do dorms? At least for the first year? I mean, we kinda said...no," he eventually gets out. "No, I don't want to move in together." 

"That's good, cause neither do I. I was just checking that's not gonna upset you or something." 

"Oh my god, I hate you!" Kurt cries, falling onto a kitchen chair in relief. "I thought you wanted to!"

"Why would you think that?" 

"Because of how you asked, you fluffy bastard! Think before you speak, Blaine!" 

Blaine frowns, coming over to sit next to him, but Kurt pulls him into his lap instead. "I did think." 

"Well, in that case, we have a real problem," Kurt teases. "You damn near gave me heart failure. Consider yourself hated for all eternity." 

"Whatever," Blaine says smugly, flicking Kurt's forehead. "You can never hate me as much as I hate you." 

"Nope. I hate you more." 

"I love you, my little Kurtie." 

"Oh!" Kurt cries, as he starts swatting at Blaine wherever he can reach. "Don't you ever call me that!" 

"Kurtie hates me, and won't ever live with me," Blaine pouts, until a laughing Kurt, pulls him in for a deep kiss, which makes Blaine forget all about their silliness. 

"Wow," he says softly, when they part. "Kissing you is so amazing." 

"I will live with you," Kurt says sincerely. "I really do mean that, I want a future with you, which is why I want to take it super slow. I don't want to get this wrong." 

"I agree," Blaine says with a nod. "I think we should give ourselves a year of living apart in New York, and then see how we feel." 

"Totally. Actually, dad suggested I asked Santana to be my roommate when we move. I was never all that keen on living with another person, but I figured she might be a good practice run. If I can live with her, then I can sure as hell live with you. Would that bother you? If we roomed together?" 

"Not at all. I guess I just have to get used to her petting me. She's sweet though." 

"No, Blaine. She is not sweet. She's a tyrant. Anyway, I'll call her and discuss it with her. You'll stay over though, right? Like on weekends and stuff?" 

"Just try and stop me." 

Blaine curls up, which makes Kurt want to squeal with happiness, and when Blaine then rests his head on his shoulder he plays happily with his curls "I remember college was a lot of growing up," he muses. "It's not all easy, and nothing can really prepare you for it, but I'll be there, you know. I want you to make your own friends, to find your own path, but whenever you need me, I'll be right there, loving you." 

"I think it's like...equal parts scared and excited right now." 

"And that's okay." 

"I love you. I always knew I loved the real you, and I always knew that the real you was magnificent." 

"I love you too, beautiful." Kurt kisses softly into Blaine's hair. "Hey, you know, dad's still gonna be another hour at least." 

"Not again, Kurt, I'll die." 

"No," he laughs. "Not that. I was thinking we could take another bath together?" 

"Ah, so you did enjoy it then," Blaine says, lifting his head with a smile. 

"No, I hated every second. I just like to torture myself." 

"Well, I guess for you, I'll suffer through it," Blaine sighs, standing, and pulling Kurt to his feet. 

"Blaine? Guess what?" 

And Blaine grins, knowing what's coming, but still excited nonetheless. "You love me?" 

Kurt falls into his arms, kissing him hard. "Got it on the first try."


	39. Chapter 39

Burt Hummel pauses in the towel section of Bed Bath and Beyond. He had figured that bringing Blaine here to buy some stuff to get ready for college would help it seem more real, for both of them. 

That plan had worked, only now Blaine looked seconds away from crying like a baby, and Burt himself could hardly breathe with the worry that gripped him. 

"Just get the blue ones," he barks at Blaine, who looks utterly bewildered. "Blue." 

"Kurt has blue towels." 

"Great. You'll match." 

"Shouldn't I get white, then? Or red? That way, when I move in, we'll have coordinating towels right away." 

Burt sighs, taking off his cap, to run a hand despairingly over his head. "Blaine, I really don't care. Just put the damn towels in the cart." 

"Are you mad at me?" 

"No." Burt slings an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close. "I'm not mad. I'm just.... I'm really gonna miss you." 

Blaine nods, not trusting his voice, and he lets his head drop onto Burt's shoulder, hoping he understands.

"Aw look at us," Burt says, and really, they both have to laugh. "A couple of old saps crying over some towels."

"We..." Blaine clears his throat, blinking hard. "We've still got our road trip though, right?" 

“Of course. Do you know where you want to go?" 

"Miami." 

"What?" Burt laughs, shaking his head. "You wanna take your old man somewhere like that?" 

"Yes please," Blaine says, brightening at the thought. "That's exactly what I want to do. I've always wanted to go to Florida, and last year, when we went to Toronto, you said we could do Florida next."

"Okay. Well, how about you and I drive down, and Kurt can fly out and meet us? We can all have a few days in Miami before we drive back again, and he flies home." 

"I’d like that." 

"Good," Burt says decisively.

"Burt?" 

"Yes son?" 

"Are you happy? About Kurt and I?" 

"Well now, if you'd asked me six months ago, I would have said no, but actually, now? Yes I am. Very. I always hoped you two would get there, but I'll admit, I had my doubts at times. You should be proud, you know."

"Me? Why?" 

"Because you taught Kurt to love." 

"No I didn't, Burt," Blaine says with a smile. "You taught him that. He just needed to be reminded, that's all." 

Burt clears his throat, mumbling something completely incoherent, then squeezes Blaine's shoulder. "Well, anyway, what about these damn towels?" 

"Red, please," Blaine says meekly, and Burt laughs, ruffles his hair, and starts to load the towels into the cart.

*

Kurt Hummel never thought he would love a routine as much as he loves this current one. He wakes up next to Blaine every day, and they share sweet kisses and cuddles before moving upstairs to have breakfast with Burt. Then he waves Blaine off to school, and his dad off to work, before settling down in the dining room to do his work until Blaine arrives home again. They cook dinner together, or go to the movies, then they get into bed, making love before falling asleep in each other's arms. 

No, it's not risqué, groundbreaking, or exhilarating. It is sweet, gentle, unassuming, and exactly what Kurt needs in his life right now. A chance to settle, to let himself come to rest in Blaine's arms, which is just what he's doing right now, the night before nationals. They are both sated and sleepy, and his head rests on Blaine's shoulder, his arm encircling his waist, as Blaine runs a finger up and down Kurt's spine, kissing his forehead every so often. 

"Kurt?"

"Hmm?" 

"I'm curious. Why do you think we didn't work out for so long?" 

"Well," Kurt pauses, thinking it over, before dropping a kiss to Blaine's pectoral, just because he can. "I guess we just weren't in the right place at the right time. First you were there, and I wasn't, then I was, but you weren't, then we both were, but life wasn't." 

"And now?" 

"And now it's all aligned, isn't it? Perfectly." 

"Yeah. Are you happy?" 

"No, Blaine," Kurt sighs, hiding his indulgent smile. "I'm fucking miserable." 

"Hey! Don't curse! I mean, you can be miserable, that's fine, but don't curse please." 

"I hate you so much," Kurt laughs, nipping at his ribs. 

"I know." Blaine squeals, and wrestles Kurt back onto the bed, pinning his hands above his head. "I hate you so much that I dream about you, day and night." 

"Oh really," Kurt grins, his eyes sparkling with mirth as he tries to escape. "Well I hate you so much that I'm gonna marry you, and force you to spend the rest of your life with me." 

"Because I hate you more than anything, I'm gonna make love to you again, just to piss you off." 

"Ha! You used a curse word!" Kurt is triumphant, and the second Blaine thinks about it for too long he seizes his opportunity, rolling them over until he's half on top of Blaine, breathless with laughter. "Were you like....serious?"

"That I hate you? Never! I love you endlessly." 

"Not that, you dork, the making love." 

"Oh. Well, yeah," Blaine says with a shy smile. "I really like it." 

"So do I," Kurt laughs, unable to resist leaning down to kiss his cheek. "But I don't know if I can manage twice in a night." 

And Blaine, his beautifully shy, sweet and quiet Blaine, grins, entirely unabashed, grabbing Kurt's backside and pulling him close. "Only one way to find out." 

*

"Kurt."

Kurt stays face down on the bed, and gives a small grunt of annoyance into the pillow. 

"Kurt." 

"Go away." 

"We gotta get up." 

"Can't. You killed me last night." 

"I did not," Blaine laughs, draping himself over Kurt's back and kissing his shoulder. "Come on. We need to leave soon." 

"Blaaaaaine," Kurt whines, when he feels his boyfriend's lips trailing down his spine. "Not again! You're insatiable." 

Blaine bites lightly at the top of his ass, making him squirm beneath him. "Not again," Blaine confirms, much to a very sleepy Kurt's relief. "Just wanna ask you something before we get moving, that's all, and I'd like you to be a little bit more awake." 

"Are you proposing?" 

"Get real." 

"Then I'm still sleeping." 

"Am I a good boyfriend?" 

Kurt turns over, blinking his eyes open and grinding his fists into them before he pulls Blaine down on his side next to him. "Hey. What's up? You're an amazing boyfriend, why are you worrying?" 

"I'm not, necessarily, just...checking. That I'm doing okay." 

Kurt gazes at him, before tenderly tucking a stray curl behind his ear and lightly kissing his lips. "You are a wonderful boyfriend. I can remember you told me you would be, well, you proved your point. I'm as happy as can be, and so proud to be yours." 

"I'm gonna do this right, you know," Blaine says earnestly. "I'm gonna be good to you, and have fun with you. I'm gonna love you and I'm gonna try so hard not to disappoint you." 

"Oh Blaine, my sweetheart. You could never disappoint me. Bless you, you look so much like a puppy." 

"I do not," he frowns, wrinkling his nose, but with his big round eyes and a heartbreakingly hopeful expression on his face, he really does. 

"Woof for me." 

"Fuck off." 

Kurt laughs loudly, and so does Blaine as Kurt rolls on top of him and kisses over his face. "I love you Blaine, but please don't curse unless it's because our sex is too damn good. It sounds all wrong coming from your mouth." 

"Okay. No cursing. But fuck me harder Kurt is okay?" 

"That is absolutely fine," Kurt grins. "Now come on. Let's get you to Nationals."

*

"Excuse me," Burt Hummel booms, as Kurt trails along in his wake and tries to pretend like he doesn't exist. "Excuse me, coming through. Gotta get to my seat there, my son's singing in nationals." 

"Dad!" Kurt hisses. "Everyone's child is singing in nationals. We are at the national show choir championships." 

"Not everyone's got a Blaine though, do they?" Burt asks loudly. "Blaine. That's my boy. New Directions. This is my other son, he used to sing with them too." 

"Daaaad!" 

"And now he's Blaine's lover." 

"Okay. Shut up," Kurt snaps, pushing him into his seat. "Not another word from you, I swear." 

But Burt is undeterred, introducing himself to the lady next to him, who listens in utter confusion as Burt tries to explain why his two sons are together and Kurt sinks down in his seat to text Santana and ask about them rooming together. She jumps at the chance immediately, claiming that she is now going to tell everyone that her and Kurt have a pet puppy named Blaine, and he laughs when he thinks of what Blaine's reaction will be. 

His phone buzzes again, and he opens the message expecting it to be Santana, but it's Blaine.

"What do you mean it's Blaine? Where?" 

"I didn't say anything," Kurt says to his dad.

"You did. You said, oh it's Blaine." 

"Oh. I didn't realize I'd spoken out loud. He must be rubbing off on me." 

"Do you mind?" 

"Oh shut up. Anyway, he sent me a text, that's all." 

"A text? Is he okay? Why would he be texting right now when he's about to go on? Is something wrong?" 

"I don't know, do I?! If you'd let me read it I can find out." 

_By the way, this time, I chose the song. I love you xxx_

"Yeah," Kurt says, a soft smile forming on his face, as he tucks his phone back inside his jacket. "He's fine." 

Blaine's solo is last, and it seems like absolute torture to sit through first the group number, and then a duet between Tina and Jackson, though Kurt must begrudgingly admit he can sing very well. Finally it is time for Blaine to take center stage, and this time it is Kurt who excitedly squeezes his dad's arm, and bounces in his seat. "That's my man!" he cries loudly, to anyone who will listen. "My boyfriend! Mine!" 

"And my son!" Burt adds, before cheering loudly. "Go Blaine!" 

There's no doubt Blaine hears Burt's massive yell, because it comes just as everyone else falls silent, and he bows his head at the microphone to hide his smile. It helps calm his nerves, oddly, because singing to a crowd like this is something he never could have imagined in his wildest dreams. He blocks everyone out though, and sings for Kurt instead. He might not be able to see him, but he knows he's out there, watching, waiting and most of all, loving him with all of his heart. 

"Everybody says that when it comes to friends  
The truest kind are counted on one hand  
But take a look around before you hit the ground  
The only one you'll see will be this man

Yeah, I'll catch you when you fall  
Cause I'm the one who loves you  
You'll never wonder if I care, I'll always be there  
Standing there in losing ground  
I'm your best friend now and I won't let you down  
No, oh

Yes, I've been a fool but I've learned what not to do  
Don't take for granted those who keep their faith in you  
And if you lose your way on some rainy day  
Just look above and I will be the sunshine breaking through

Yeah, I'll catch you when you fall  
Cause I'm the one who loves you  
You'll never wonder if I care, I'll always be there  
Standing there in losing ground  
I'm your best friend now and I won't let you down

And every step along the highway of your life  
I'll be the man standing beside you  
Believe me that I will  
Don't forget you came and you saved me  
You saved my life

Yeah, I'll catch you when you fall  
Cause I'm the one who loves you  
You'll never wonder if I care, I'll always be there  
Standing there in losing ground  
Cause I'm your best friend now  
And I won't let you, I will not let you  
I won't let you down"

Kurt knows everyone is clapping and cheering wildly, including himself, but all he can focus on is Blaine, who is bowing politely, but searching, searching for Kurt. He's never been one for wild declarations of affection, even at the best of times, but somehow he finds himself standing on the arms of his sixth row seat, waving frantically until Blaine catches sight of him, and when he does, his whole face lights up with joy. 

"I love you, Blaine!" he yells, and though he knows he can't hear him, he hopes he's learned how to lip read in his eighteen years, and judging by the quick, shy kiss he blows out to Kurt, he has. 

"Now who's the embarrassment?" Burt says with a laugh, as he tugs him down. "C'mon, let's beat the crowds and grab a drink while we wait for the results."

But Kurt ducks out, asking his dad to get him a soda, while he runs from the building to find just the place he is looking for. When he returns, breathless and sweaty from having run three blocks, everyone else is back in their seats, and he has to file back in along the row, trying not to step on everyone's toes. 

"Sorry," he says to his dad, when he finally sits. "I had to get something." 

"So I see," Burt says, nodding at the huge bouquet of flowers. "What if they don't win?"

"Doesn't matter," Kurt whispers as the lights dim. "These are just a small attempt to show Blaine how much I love him." 

"Nothing small about them," Burt grumbles, pushing some kind of green foliage out of his face. 

But Burt's fears are unfounded, New Directions are announced as winners, and Blaine is the first person to lift the trophy high above his head while father and son stand side by side not even attempting to hide their proud tears. 

"He did it!" Burt cries, clapping an arm around Kurt's shoulders. "He did it!"

"He's really rather wonderful, isn't he?" Kurt grins as they leave the auditorium and head backstage. They spot Blaine before he sees them, contained in a throng of excited high school students who are all busy congratulating each other and sharing hugs. Kurt even manages to let it slide when Jackson hugs Blaine, figuring that he'll get his chance to do that, and so much more later tonight. 

"Go on, dad," Kurt encourages quietly. 

"Oh, no, you go," Burt says with a shake of his head.

"He's your son, isn't he?" 

"Well....yes. I do like to think that, yes." 

"So go be a proud parent. I'll be right behind you, and I'll get my moment." 

"You sure?" 

"I'm sure." 

"Blaine!" Burt booms, his whole face lighting up when Blaine grins. "You did it! My son won nationals!" 

Blaine runs to him, and launches himself into Burt's strong arms, hugging him tightly. "I love you," he whispers, squeezing tight.

"Wrong person." 

"No, you. Burt. I love you." 

"Oh." And Burt holds him tighter still, knowing how mixed up Blaine is right now, trying to deal with moving on to a new chapter in his life, yet not wanting to let go of his past. Burt knows, because he feels the same, because he's spent countless hours crying at the very thought of leaving Blaine alone in his college dorm, yet he's also lost whole days planning his boys wedding for them, and writing the speech he hopes he will one day be asked to give. "I love you too," he whispers gruffly. "And I'm so damn proud of you." 

He lets go with some reluctance, but he's mindful of Kurt standing patiently by, waiting for his turn. Blaine catches sight of him, and Kurt is suddenly embarrassed, not knowing how to go about giving Blaine the flowers. Should there be some kind of speech? Declaration of undying love? These things are so much easier when they're alone, and right now, Kurt is very conscious of the crowded corridor, and of Jackson standing with two girls, watching, as well as Sam, Mike and Tina looking on. 

"Flower....things," he says, thrusting the bouquet toward Blaine. "Um....flowers," he corrects. "Yeah." 

"For me?" 

"Yes." 

"Because you love me?" Blaine prompts gently, and Kurt suddenly comes back to life. 

"No, Blaine, because you make me deeply unhappy and I wanted to thank you for it. Moron. You were wonderful. The song was amazing, you blew everyone away, and if you weren't such a geek, I'd be pushing you to study musical theatre instead. I love you so much, Blaine. Now kiss me to shut me up, because otherwise I'll ramble." 

"With pleasure." 

Kurt was expecting a quick kiss on the lips, but what he gets is Blaine sliding one hand into his hair, until his thumb rests gently against his ear as he leans across the flowers to ghost his lips over Kurt's before he smiles and goes in for more. The second kiss is firmer, his lips linger, and he sighs as he opens his mouth. It becomes all Kurt can do not to whimper helplessly, but he manages to settle for kissing him back instead, until they pull back but keep their eyes fixed on one another. 

"Am I interrupting here?" 

Kurt closes his eyes at the sound of Jackson's voice, his jaw tightening in displeasure. "What do you think?" 

"I just came to say," Jackson carries on, ignoring Kurt's retort. "That I'm having a party at my house tonight, for the New Directions, if you'd like to come. Uh....you too, Kurt." 

Kurt opens his eyes in surprise. The kid still looks terrified of him, which pleases him somewhat, but he also still makes heart eyes at Blaine, which does not. 

"Uh, thanks," Blaine says, before Kurt can shoot him down. "But we'll probably just go out for a quiet family dinner, and then head home." 

"No, no, we can go," Kurt says gallantly, though he really would rather do anything else. "You've got one more week of high school, Blaine. You'll never get this again. Make the most of it." 

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Now get the moron's address. I'm gonna go wait with dad." 

And so it is, that after dinner with Burt, who tells quite literally everyone in Breadstix that his son is the national show choir champion, Kurt drives him and Blaine to a large house on the outskirts of Lima, ignoring Jackson's instruction to park on the street, and swinging Bessie into the driveway instead. 

"She's too good to be left on the street," Kurt declares, as he opens Blaine's door for him. "Okay. Let's do this." 

"Are you sure? We don't have to. We could go home and..." 

"Fuck the night away, yeah, I know," Kurt sighs, as they walk up the steep driveway. "But we're here now." 

"I was gonna say play cards with your dad." 

"Oh." Kurt stops, they look at each other, then burst out laughing, and they're still sniggering when Jackson answers the door, immediately eyeing Kurt with suspicion. 

"Why are you laughing at me?" 

"I'm not, you mindless idiot," Kurt snaps. "Believe it or not, we don't spend all our time talking about you. In fact, you don't figure into our lives at all." 

"And yet you're at my party," Jackson says smugly, as he leads them down to an enormous basement. 

"Yeah, well....good singing today," Kurt says lamely, stopping Jackson in his tracks with a hand on his chest. "I mean that." 

"Right." Jackson gives a nod, and no one is really sure how to proceed, but the strange atmosphere is broken by the ringing of Blaine's cell and he excuses himself, much to Kurt's annoyance, and heads back up the stairs to answer it. 

Jackson takes his opportunity to run, literally, to a group of friends, leaving Kurt standing awkwardly at the bottom of the staircase, not quite sure what to do. 

"All alone?" 

He whirls around on the spot, to come face to face with Sam, who stands there grinning, making Kurt frown. "Is that... .are you hitting on me?" 

"Uh....no?" 

"Why is that a question?" 

"Um, it's not," an utterly confused Sam answers, looking around him for help. "I just.....no Blaine...." he gestures around him with his hands, and then suddenly he brightens. "Drink? That is a question. A real one. Would you like a drink, Kurt?" 

"Sure," Kurt says, giving a crisp nod and following him to a large table. He's surprised there's alcohol, and reaches for a bottle of vodka, before remembering Bessie parked outside, so reluctantly he changes his mind to a beer instead, and knows this will have to be his only one. He could ask Blaine to drive, of course, but that would be pretty unfair considering this party is for him and his friends, so he takes a swig of his beer, nods at Sam again, then leans against the wall to wait for Blaine to return. 

It takes a good ten minutes, but when Blaine does arrive back in the basement, he walks right past everyone, including Kurt, and heads for the table of drinks, pouring himself a shot or three of whiskey, and downing it all at once. Kurt heads over, worried by the whiteness of his knuckles, as he grips the glass tightly in his hands. 

"Hey. Come on," Kurt says softly, prying the glass from his grip, and tugging him into the corner. "What's wrong?" 

"That was my mom." 

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, but....she wants us to go visit right after graduation." 

"Us?" 

"Well." Blaine pauses, a shy smile on his face, "I might have said I wouldn't go unless you were invited too." 

"That's okay, isn't it? I mean, we said we would." 

"I know." Blaine stops a moment, letting his head lean back against the wall, as he watches Jackson watching him, Tina watching Jackson watching him, Mike watching Tina watching Jackson, and so on. "It's all changing," he says softly. "It's all becoming strange and I'm not entirely sure I like it." 

"This is about leaving dad again, isn't it?" 

"Yeah," Blaine sighs heavily, looking at Kurt with so much sadness in his eyes that Kurt just wants to hide him away forever. "He's the main cause for my upset, I guess, but I'm also scared for a lot of things." 

"Such as?" 

"I’ve never had a friend, Kurt. I wasn't bullied in Cleveland, I was just ignored. I had one guy who I spoke to, but that was it. Here, for the first time in my life, I have real friends, even Jackson, though he's a pain in the ass. I worry I won't make any at college, that I won't fit in anywhere. I worry about going to Baltimore. Mom wants us to go for dinner on that Sunday. What do I wear, Kurt? What do I say? What if they torment me again? What if my mom wants to hug me, but I don't want that? What if it's the other way around? What if she decides to try and be a mom to me now, and to take me away from Burt? What if you get fed up with hearing all my worries, and dump me? What then?"

"Blaine," Kurt sighs, wrapping his arms protectively around him. "Oh my Blaine. Listen to me." 

He guides him gently to a chair in the corner, where he makes him sit, before he kneels down beside him. "I'm not going to dump you, and no one is ever going to take you away from dad, I can assure you of that. Besides, you're an adult now. It's up to you where you spend holidays, birthdays, vacations. We'll go to Baltimore and visit your mom, and see where things go from there. We'll stay in a hotel, and if anyone starts to torment you, we'll leave. It's as simple as that. You don't live there anymore, you don't have to take it. If your mom wants to see you, she has to understand that you're not gonna sit there, all meek and mild, suffering at the hands of those morons. I won't let it happen, Blaine. As for college," Kurt breaks off, stroking his hand gently over Blaine's cheek. 

"My beautiful boyfriend, just be yourself. Mike, Tina, Sam, even the mindless idiot, all want to be friends with you, because you're you. It might not count for much, but you have two friends in New York already, in the form of me and Santana. I mean, she might be unhinged, but her heart is in the right place. I'm telling you Blaine, you are a good person. You're funny, kind, smart, and I think you'll find people wanting to be your friend because of it, really, I do. Don't feel like you're not good enough, because you are wonderful." 

Blaine swallows and nods, not quite trusting his voice, so he opts for accepting the hug Kurt offers instead. "I think you need to relax a little," Kurt suggests. "Have another drink, enjoy the party. This might be your last chance to kick back with these guys for a long time. Make the most of it." 

"I love you," Blaine says from the comfort of Kurt's arms. "Thank you for making me feel better." 

"As your boyfriend, it's kind of my job, but the best job in the entire world. Wanna hear something really great?" 

"Yeah." 

"It's like, ten weeks until we're together, in the same city, for good." 

"Hmm, well, that's all kinds of awesome," Blaine grins. "I am excited, you know." 

"I know, but I know it also brings huge changes. It's okay to be sad and happy at the same time, just let me help you with all of it, okay?" 

"Okay." Blaine gives a nod, then tugs Kurt into his lap, so he can kiss him lovingly. "Let's get a drink." 

"You go ahead, I'm good." 

"You're not gonna drink with me?" 

"Driving," Kurt reminds him with a small smile. "But that's okay. I'm ready to clean up the contents of your stomach later on." 

"Ha! I won't do that again, I promise," Blaine says, as he snatches a beer and raises it to Kurt's. "To loving each other, and being happy." 

*

An hour later and Blaine is delightfully drunk, bouncing around with a wide grin on his face as Kurt stands against the wall with his now warm beer, surveying the room and his completely adorable boyfriend, who is laughing loudly at something Sam has said. 

"So Blaine's a happy drunk then?" Mike asks, as he stands next to him. 

"Well," Kurt cocks his head, thinking. "I've only seen him drunk once before, when he was completely outlandish and inappropriate, then threw up all over his bathroom."

"Ew." 

"Yeah," Kurt laughs. "I cleaned it up." 

"True love." 

"That's what he said, at the time," Kurt remembers with a fond smile. 

"I'm glad you two got things sorted out," Mike says, looking out at the room, rather than at Kurt directly. "I'm um...I'm gonna miss Blaine when we all go to college, but I'm happy he's going to be in New York with you." 

"He'll miss you, I know he will," Kurt says, turning to face him. "You'll stay friends though." 

"Of course." 

"I should thank you, actually, for looking out for him. I mean, I know he's not a kid, but...well, I haven't really been the best person in the world, especially not to him, and..." 

"Kurt." Mike stops him, a reassuring hand on his arm. "None of that matters. What matters is the here and now, and how you two move forward. You make him happy, and that's all I want for him." 

"Thanks." 

They pause for a moment, neither sure what to say, and they watch Blaine instead, who is now seemingly trying to balance shot glasses on his face, much to the amusement of two girls. 

"You should visit," Kurt says suddenly. "You and Tina. Come to New York. I could stay in the dorms with Blaine, and you two could use my apartment. It'd be fun." 

"Yeah," Mike says with a smile, realizing that actually, it really could be fun. "Yeah we'll do that for sure." 

"I wanna dance!" Blaine cries suddenly, bounding across the room, and taking Kurt's hands in his. "C'mon, Kurtie, Michael. Dance with me." 

"I'm good!" Mike laughs, holding his hands up and backing away. "But I'm sure Kurtie would love to." 

"Oh!" Kurt cries indignantly, shocked yet happy that Mike feels comfortable enough to tease him. "Do not call me that!"

"Dance, Kurtie," Blaine giggles, pulling him close.

"Blaine, I love you, but no. You're about three beers and several shots ahead of me." 

"I'll dance with you," a smug Jackson suddenly interjects. He takes ahold of Blaine around his waist, and drags him across the room, turning up the music as he does so. Blaine looks utterly lost and fearful, while Kurt just looks livid. 

"I'll kill him!" 

"No you won't, you'll get the better of him instead," Mike says calmly. "I'm driving; if you want to drink, I can give you and Blaine a ride home?" 

"Really? That would be...yeah. Thanks," Kurt grins, picking up another beer and clapping a hand on Mike's shoulder. 

"Go on," he laughs. "Go and dance with him, otherwise I think he's gonna burst into tears." 

It's true, Blaine does look like he's either going to cry, or run far away from Jackson's advances, but he brightens when Kurt quite literally elbows Jackson out of the way and circles his arms around his waist, kissing into his neck. 

"Hey sexy." 

"Boyfriend." 

"That's it?" Kurt laughs. "That's all the greeting I get?" 

"Dance with me, boyfriend," Blaine murmurs, closing his eyes and letting his lips graze along Kurt's jaw. "Get drunk and dance with me." 

And Kurt grins, falling in love all over again with his beautifully tipsy and horny boyfriend. "That, my darling Blaine, is exactly what I intend to do."


	40. Chapter 40

"Blaine. Your foot is in my face." 

Blaine wakes slowly, vaguely conscious of Kurt telling him something, but his everything hurts, so he closes his eyes again almost immediately. 

"Blaine! Foot! Tell it to fuck off!" 

"Huh?"

"Move your damn foot!" 

He sits then, clutching his head and wincing in pain. He is upside down in the bed, which explains the location of his foot, and Kurt lies there looking extremely frail. "Kurt? Are you okay?" 

"Peachy," Kurt grouches, running a hand through his hair. "Oh man. We had fun though, huh?" 

"Yeah we did," Blaine laughs, recalling the events of the precious evening, particularly he and Kurt commandeering the karaoke machine. "That's it for a while, though. 'Till I get to New York, anyway." 

"That's it?" Kurt sits, giving a sly smile, before draping his naked body over Blaine's. "No more fun?" 

"No more drinking, but plenty more fun," Blaine grins, then he wrinkles his nose. "After you've brushed your teeth." 

"Oh my god!" Kurt laughs, rolling off of him and making his way to the bathroom. "You don't smell too fresh yourself, mister. You know, if anyone else spoke to me like that, I'd punch them." 

"But I'm me," Blaine points out, coming into the bathroom and wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist. "And you love me."

"I do." 

They brush their teeth together, and then, feeling decidedly brighter after a large glass of water, Blaine drags Kurt into the shower. "You know," he says, as he ducks under the spray and kisses Kurt's shoulder. "Your new apartment needs to have a shower big enough for two." 

"For sure," Kurt moans weakly, not even trying to stop Blaine as he sinks to his knees. His fingers slide through Blaine's wet curls, which always feels amazing, and he lets the spray pound his back and shoulders, cascading down over Blaine as he takes him in his mouth. "Talented bastard," Kurt says affectionately, smiling down as Blaine looks up. "I love you and your mouth so much." 

Blaine sucks lightly on the tip of Kurt's cock, smiling around it, and making Kurt feel weak with his sudden urge to drive himself into Blaine's mouth, which he does. 

He knows he's loud, but when Blaine starts fingering him at the same time, he really can't help but yell loudly and fuck his face harder, driving back onto Blaine's hand, and then forward into the warm, wet heat of his mouth. 

"Oh shit, yes, Blaine, yes. Gonna.....oh fuck, Blaine, fuck me......love you..." He throws his head back with a silent gasp as he spills, and Blaine swallows around him before getting to his feet, taking Kurt in his arms and kissing him tenderly. 

"Love you, tiger." 

"Tiger?" 

"You growled." 

"I did?" 

Blaine grins, kissing his cheek as he holds him close. "You did." 

"Oh. Well. Love you too, puppy dog." 

"I have never once woofed." 

Kurt laughs as he lets his hands gently roam over Blaine's back. "No, you haven't, even though I've asked. You just look like one sometimes, that's all." 

"If you're gonna call me puppy dog, I will call you tiger," Blaine grouches, as he shuts the water off and hands Kurt a towel. 

"Fine by me! I know who came off better," Kurt says smugly. He runs back into the bedroom, laughing as Blaine chases after him, but he makes himself easy to catch, eagerly accepting the kisses he has to offer. "Let me towel my puppy dry." 

"I swear to god, you ever call me puppy in public, and we're done," Blaine says, smiling against Kurt's lips. 

He is happy to be dried though, letting Kurt lie him down on the bed and alternate between drying his chest and kissing it, then moving lower, kissing over his stomach, following the line of dark hair downward, then moving to his hips, just to feel him squirm, and down to his thighs, where he sucks a mark on the inside. 

"Supposed to be...oh, drying me," Blaine says weakly, gripping Kurt's shoulder as he mouths over his erection. 

"I know, but I can't stay away." And with that, he takes Blaine deep in his throat, loving the moan of pleasure that comes from Blaine, who pushes upward. 

"Oh Kurt! Just....yes." 

Kurt sucks him, until he feels Blaine's legs starting to tremble, and then he pulls off with a gasp. "Wanna fuck you." 

He presses himself over Blaine, who leans up to kiss him desperately. "God, look at you," Blaine murmurs, dropping kisses wherever he can reach. Kurt, with his hair wild, cheeks flushed, and lips swollen, only fumbles for the lube, whimpering in pleasure when Blaine bites at his chest. 

"Can I?" he asks urgently, and Blaine notices how hard he is again, ready for him already. 

"Yeah. Yes. Fuck me," he whispers. "Hard." 

"Okay boys!" comes the sudden and unmistakable voice of Burt. "Let's get all these flights figured out. Now, Blaine, I've been looking, and...." 

"No, no, no, no!" they both cry together, scrambling to pull the covers over themselves, and mercifully, Burt stops on the stairs before they can even see his feet. 

"Oh. Oh gosh. I'm sorry. I'll be um.....oh dear. No worries. Take your time. We can talk later." 

The basement door slams, and Blaine falls back on the pillows in despair as Kurt bats at his chest. "Your door has a lock! Why didn't you use it?" 

"I don't know!" Blaine moans. "I was drunk. Why didn't you lock it?" 

"I don't know that either!" 

"Ugh. Come on," Blaine sighs, rolling out of bed. "Let's get dressed." 

"Excuse me? Are you actually kidding me?" 

"Well what? We can't carry on now. Or I can't, anyway," he says, noticing Kurt is still ready and able. 

"Oh come on! That's so unfair!" 

Blaine laughs, leaning down to kiss his lips. "I still love you, but I just can't. Besides, you're not exactly left high and dry, are you?"

"No, but you are, which is why we should finish." 

"No!" Blaine shakes his head and laughs, gathering their towels and returning them to the bathroom. "He's up there, waiting. He'll know exactly what we're doing, and that makes me unable to do it." 

"You're all naked though," Kurt whines, following him into the bathroom and locking the door behind him. "And this room has a lock. Come on, Blaine, let me make you come. It's like, my favorite past time." 

"Ha!" Blaine laughs, then gasps as Kurt comes up behind him, so they're both looking into the mirror over the sink. "Kurt...." 

"Wants you," he whispers darkly, hooking his chin over Blaine's shoulder. "Let me watch you come." 

"Yes." 

"Someone's easily convinced," Kurt chuckles, tracing a slick finger down Blaine's crack. 

"You knew I would be," Blaine says, gasping again at the feel of Kurt's fingers slowly pressing against him. "You brought the lube in here with you." 

"True." 

Kurt wastes no time, taking ahold of Blaine's hips quickly, and driving into him, rubbing a soothing hand over his back when he cries out. "Shh. It's okay. Damn it Blaine, I love you so much. Watch me, beautiful. Watch us in the mirror." 

"Oh god, Kurt, feels so good...pain...good," Blaine rambles, as Kurt picks up his pace. He tries to screw his eyes shut and drop his head, but Kurt reaches around and lifts his chin, meeting his gaze in the mirror. 

"Watch, Blaine. See how beautiful you are." 

"I'm gonna... I'm not gonna last," Blaine whimpers, reaching a hand down to stroke himself, as he watches Kurt's reflection pounding into him. "Oh Kurt...Kurt...." 

It is the sight of Kurt orgasaming that pushes Blaine over the edge, and he shoots all over the counter while choking on the sound of Kurt's name, before he falls forward with Kurt on his back. "Hell. Died. Dead," he pants, as Kurt's laugh rumbles through them. 

"Jesus that was hot," Kurt says weakly, reluctantly straightening up and locating a washcloth. "You bad boy, look at the mess." 

"Sorry," Blaine mumbles, and Kurt finds his embarrassment super cute and at total odds with the man he's just fucked while staring into a mirror. 

"No, don't be sorry," Kurt reassures.

"It was quick too, I was quick. I didn't mean to...." 

"Blaine, I came first anyway, but what does it matter? This isn't some comparison test. We can take five minutes or five hours, the choice is entirely ours. Neither of us are ever gonna have sex with anyone else again, what does our performance time matter? As long as we're happy, and I think," he says, gesturing between them, "that we are." 

"Yeah," Blaine says, grinning bashfully. "That's...we're...yeah." 

"You like that, huh? The part about not having sex with anyone else?" 

"It's uh...it's nice to hear you say it," Blaine says, trying to hide his huge grin. "I'm not gonna deny it." 

"That's not all though," Kurt says, pulling Blaine closer and wrapping his arms around his waist. "It's only you who ever gets to kiss me. I'm not gonna wake up next to anyone else except you ever again. No one else will hold me close as we dance, or take my hand in theirs as we walk along the street." 

"Yeah, that's like...the best thing." Blaine kisses his lips, before scooping Kurt up in his arms, causing him to yelp and cling on tight. 

"Blaine!"

"What? Can if I want." And he deftly unlocks the door and carries Kurt out into the bedroom, setting him neatly on the bed. 

"Do you still box?" 

"I don't box, I just use the punching bag, and yes," Blaine nods. "And I lift weights too, which is why I can lift someone as heavy as you." 

"Funny." 

Blaine dodges the kick aimed his way, and they dress in a silence which is filled with happiness, before Blaine remembers Burt waiting for them upstairs. "Why don't you go up? I'll wait here and...I don't know. Study, or something." 

"Blaine. No. Come on. You have to face him sooner or later. He's not mad, in fact, he's probably even more embarrassed than we are."

"I highly doubt that's possible." 

"Come on," Kurt laughs. "He'll try to hide his embarrassment behind humor and it will be hilarious." 

Burt can't help but look up at the clock when he hears footsteps on the stairs, but he quickly turns his attentions back to the laptop when Kurt and Blaine arrive in the kitchen. "Breakfast's ready," he says as nonchalantly as he can. "Sorry for the...uh...intrusion." 

"No worries," Kurt says lightly, trying not to laugh at the way Blaine hides behind the Cheerios. "You didn’t know. We'll lock the door in the future." 

"I shoulda knocked," Burt says, embarrassed and looking anywhere other than at his boys. "To be honest, I would have thought Blaine incapable of anything like that after his drunken performance at three this morning." 

"What?" Blaine cries in alarm. "What did I do?" 

"Well, you arrived home shirtless, and sang the Star-Spangled Banner on the front lawn," Burt starts, as Blaine's jaw drops. "Then you proceeded to propose to Kurt once you were inside, only you were actually talking to the hall table instead." 

"You proposed?" Kurt asks in surprise. "I missed that." 

"Well someone else ran straight through demanding the bathroom," Burt says, trying to be stern and hiding his smile. "You were both stupidly loud."

"You proposed?" Kurt asks Blaine, who shrugs. "For real?"

"Oh, Blaine didn't propose marriage," Burt carries on, loving this far more than he should. "He proposed many, many things, but not marriage." 

Blaine slides further down in his chair, trying to disappear. "Oh no, no." 

"Most of his proposals don't bear repeating, though I'm sure you can imagine. One of his more PG suggestions was that you both run away and join the circus. Morons, the both of you." 

"Sorry," Blaine mutters, his face on fire. "Really sorry."

"I'd say don't do it again, but it'd be pointless," Burt says, leaning across the table to ruffle his hair. "Besides, you're quite the entertainer when you’re drunk." 

"He's young, carefree, and in love," Kurt sings, stopping on his way past to kiss the top of his dad's head. "Anyway. You said something about flights?" 

"Yes." Burt waits for Kurt to settle in his seat, only he doesn't. He settles in Blaine's lap instead, pulling his arms around him, before he reaches across for the cereal. Burt hides his smile behind the laptop screen, secretly thrilled that Kurt is....well....Kurt. His son, the loving, kind, caring and affectionate young man he was before he went off to college. A little more shrewd, maybe, and definitely more sassy than he was at eighteen, but the essence of Kurt has returned, and when he catches him kissing Blaine's cheek for no reason whatsoever, it's all Burt can do not to sigh with happiness. 

"Yeah," he says, suddenly remembering himself. "So, I was looking on the google...."

"It's just google, dad," Kurt laughs. "Not 'the' google." 

"I tell him that all the time," Blaine sighs, shaking his head in despair. "He never listens." 

"Yeah, you know? I think maybe I’m over this whole idea of you two gettin' along," Burt teases. "The google says that there's a flight to Baltimore next Saturday at two. That'd get you there in time for dinner with your mom, Blaine, if you wanted. Then my suggestion would be that you head from there to New York on Monday, and I meet you there for apartment hunting." 

"Sounds good," Kurt agrees, "but how long can you stay in New York for?" 

"Til that Saturday?" Burt offers. "But I'm staying in a hotel." 

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that," Blaine says quickly, but Kurt quiets him with a hand over his own. 

"Yes, he really does." 

"No he doesn't, we can, y'know," he says, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Keep things chaste." 

"I am not keeping things chaste with you for five nights, Blaine Anderson," Kurt booms, as Blaine tries to hush him. "No way. Besides, once you're gone it's gonna be a good three weeks until I see you again, so no. No way. Dad can stay in a hotel like he suggested." 

"You're mean," Blaine pouts, but Burt professes that he really, really doesn't mind- in fact he'd prefer to stay elsewhere, and Blaine is eventually placated. 

Flights are booked, arrangements are made, and then they begin to count down the days to Blaine's graduation. Kurt is so proud he's almost unbearable, but Blaine can see he only gets it from his dad, and given how wonderful their pride and faith in him feels, he's happy to let it carry on. 

"So Glee Club is gonna have one last evening together," he tells Kurt. "On Wednesday. Pizza and bowling. Wanna come?"

"Hmm, well, actually, I think you should go alone. As much as I like your friends, and I really do, they're your friends and this is your time with them. You and I will have so many other occasions to be together. Make the most of this opportunity. I'll take dad out for dinner." 

And so it is, that Burt sits happily opposite his son in Breadstix, relishing the chance to be alone with him, and to get a lot of things off his chest. 

"I don't want you to feel like I'm nagging you...." he starts.

"Which means you are." 

"No, I just.... look after Blaine, Kurt. Please. In New York, obviously, but right now Baltimore is my worry." 

"You're worried?" Kurt asks in surprise. "You keep telling him to go." 

"I know, because…..well, because she's his only link, isn't she? To his dad, his childhood...all of it. I ain't stupid. I know we're his family, but I just think he needs her." 

"Sometimes, I wish she didn't exist," Kurt admits, playing with his pasta. "Not that she would die, per say, more that...she just wasn't here." 

"I know what you mean, and sometimes I want to tell Blaine just to forget all about her, but I can't, Kurt. I can't help but hold out hope that one day she will realize the error of her ways and become the mom that she was. She was good to him, I know she was, and the way he talks about her...he still loves her." 

"God knows why." 

"Because he's like an abused animal, that's why. They keep going back for more, in the hope that things will change." 

"You say you hope things will, but do you honestly think they might?" 

"I don't know," Burt admits. "I called her and asked her to come to his graduation." 

"Oh?" Kurt asks in surprise. "And?" 

"The same as she told Blaine, she's too busy. I told her how much it would mean to him, and she said if it had meant that much he wouldn't have stayed in Lima. Of course, she's going to Max's graduation, and she went to Simon's last year. I even offered to stay away, if my presence made her uncomfortable, but she still refused to come." 

"And yet she wants him to visit," Kurt muses. "I wonder why?" 

"Oh, I don't think it's anything more than it's been a year, and she feels obligated. But he can go there, make the effort to see her. If Blaine had refused, I don’t think she would have pushed the issue. For a while there, after new year, I thought she was maybe making more of an effort, but that seems to have fallen by the wayside." 

"Well I can tell you this, if you'd missed Blaine's graduation just so she could go, I honestly don't think Blaine would ever have forgiven you. Your presence there is everything to him, even more so than mine." 

"Well, you two are everything to me, so I'm glad you think he feels that way," Burt admits. "But graduation is one thing. This trip is….the trip...I'm not worried about any physical harm," Burt says, his voice cracking as he thinks of his wonderful son. "Blaine's small, but he's strong, and all that work on the punching bag means he'll be able to handle himself. It's more the emotional damage, Kurt, that might not show until quite a while after. You have to be prepared for that, cause chances are, I'm not gonna be there to hold him up. If he struggles, settling into college, if he wants to cling to you and not make new friends, it's up to you to fix him, you hear?" 

"I hear you," Kurt nods. "And I promise you I will." 

*

"Get off," Blaine whines, but Burt is having none of it. He straightens Blaine's bow tie for what must be the twenty fifth time in as many minutes, adjusts the collar of his shirt, and then fixes his bright red graduation gown, even though it was already perfectly aligned. When he licks his finger and makes towards Blaine's cheek, he ducks out and hides behind Kurt, who laughs and shakes his head at his dad. 

"Leave him be. Blaine looks fine. Better than fine, in fact. Handsome, elegant and all mine," he says proudly, tugging him close and wrapping an arm around his waist. "My puppy." 

"You two are something else," Blaine grumbles, but he's happy. Happier than he's ever been, in fact, as they walk toward the school auditorium.

"Please don't call me that in public." 

"No one heard," Kurt says, his eyes sparkling as he gives a wink. "I love you, Blaine," he says proudly. "And I don't care who hears that." 

"You say that about a million times a day," Burt points out, as they join the other families outside the building. "The whole world knows." 

"Well," Kurt shrugs, "Good." 

Blaine leans close, his breath tickling Kurt's ear. "I love you too, tiger." 

But rather than the predicted protestations and grumbles of displeasure at the pet name, Kurt blushes pink, takes Blaine's hand in his, and kisses the back of it. "I might growl later, if you're lucky." 

"Mr and Mrs Chang!" Burt cries, shaking their hands warmly as Mike makes a beeline for Blaine. "It's my boy's graduation!" 

"He's off again," Kurt mumbles, hugging Mike. "He hasn’t shut up since seven this morning." 

"Tell me about it," Mike sighs, as he greets them both. "My mom actually took a picture of me in my pajamas, to remember the time I woke up on my graduation day. Really." 

"Same here," Blaine laughs, "and eating breakfast was like being at some kind of photo shoot. Kurt took the camera away in the end." 

"You feeling okay?" Mike asks with concern. "About Baltimore?" 

"Oh...yes," Blaine lies. "You know. It's only a short trip and....." 

"Blaine!" Sam cries, leaping onto his back and kissing his cheek. Burt is over like a shot, fixing all Blaine's clothing again, while Kurt and Mike hide their sniggers and Sam looks completely nonplussed. "Ready to graduate?" 

"Yeah." Taking a deep breath, Blaine stands as tall as he can, as everyone slowly starts to file inside. 

Kurt comes close, framing his face in his hands and kissing his lips gently. "I love you, and I'm proud of you, my beautiful boyfriend," he whispers, before heading away to his seat. 

"I'm proud too, though you might have guessed that," Burt says, pulling Blaine into a hug. "And I'm not gonna make you cry, but your dad would be so proud too, you know? So stupidly proud, and he'd be right here, whooping and hollering for you, just like us." 

Blaine looks down with a small nod, fiddling with the cufflinks Burt had given him for his eighteenth birthday. At his neck is the bow tie his dad had given him for his fifteenth birthday, and he realizes just how lucky he is to have two wonderful fathers. "Thank you," he whispers, looking back up as two tears escape. 

"Oh, hey now." Burt, of course, is on hand with a handkerchief and he gently dabs the tears away, ignoring his own, and kisses Blaine's cheek. "I love you, sunshine. Now go graduate and get ready to start a new chapter."


	41. Chapter 41

Blaine grips Kurt's hand tightly as the plane takes off, though Kurt is pretty sure it's not the flight which has him worried, as he's barely let go of him since they woke up that morning. 

"You know dad's probably framed every picture he took yesterday, and now has them hanging on his walls, right?" Kurt asks, trying for distraction, but Blaine just nods stiffly, staring straight ahead. "He was embarrassing, huh? Yelling out like that, when your name was called." 

"No, Kurt, he was wonderful," Blaine says, the tension evident in his voice. "Like a proper parent should be. It was like I was the only student in the world who was graduating. Absolutely nothing else mattered to him except seeing me on that stage." 

"I felt like that too," Kurt says quietly. "I was proud." 

"Did I say you weren't?" 

"No, but...." 

"Well then." 

Kurt goes quiet, mentally reminding himself of his dad's words from a few nights ago, about taking care of Blaine in his absence. It is all he can do not to resort to snapping back at him, saying mean things just because Blaine has hurt his feelings, but he does know why Blaine is being this way, so for now he will let it slide. 

A good ten minutes pass, during which Blaine doesn't let go of Kurt's hand, and continues looking out the window, so Kurt one handedly flicks through the latest issue of Marie Claire, smiling at the sight of his name in print. He doesn't think he'll ever tire of seeing that. 

It's the little sniff that alerts him to Blaine watching him, and he turns to find him staring back at him, his eyes shimmering with tears. 

"I'm sorry," Blaine whispers sadly. "I shouldn't have spoken to you like that." 

"Hey, it's okay." Kurt reaches out, touching his cheek briefly. "I understand." 

Blaine shakes his head firmly, holding Kurt's hand tighter, if that was possible. "No, it's not okay." 

"Blaine, I know how you feel." 

"It not okay for me to speak to you like that though, cause otherwise I'll have no comeback when you're mean and grumpy with me." 

Kurt gives a soft laugh, pressing their foreheads together. "Well, there is that." 

"I am sorry though," Blaine says seriously. "I'm just a bit...." 

"I know. But I'm here, okay? And I love you." 

Blaine smiles, grateful for the feel of Kurt's hands at the back of his neck, keeping him close. "I love you too." 

Kurt leans in, kissing Blaine gently and chastely, but it's all too much for the woman across from them, who huffs loudly and flaps her newspaper. "Do you have to do that here?" 

"Yes we do," Kurt replies, without even turning around. "It's a matter of national importance." 

And with that, he kisses Blaine again, this time nowhere near as chastely as before. It doesn't last long though, before their laughter gets the better of them and Blaine holds Kurt close as he snorts into his shoulder. "National importance? Really, Kurt? You make me sound like some government project." 

"You are," Kurt declares. "Operation make Kurt a happy boy."

"Is it a success?" Blaine asks, loving the way in which they flirt with one another, and Kurt bites his lip and smiles.

"An absolute triumph." 

*

Blaine retreats further inside himself as the plane lands and they pick up their bags. He had told his mom they would find their own way to the hotel, not that she had offered to meet them, but suddenly he was scared, and not just for the imminent meeting that evening. 

In all his life, Blaine has been quite sheltered. His dad had protected him and provided for him, which was only logical since he was a child, but since then, he’d had the oppressive presence of Spencer, and then the caring concern of Burt, and now the love of Kurt, to keep him safe. He doesn't know the first thing about navigating a city that he'd never been to before, and Kurt has never been here either, meaning he would need to man up and play an equal part in all this, rather than hide behind him as he wished he could. 

"So let's find a cab," he declares, grabbing Kurt's hand and hoping he sounds more confident than he feels inside. 

"Screw that," Kurt laughs, leading them in the opposite direction. "We'll rent a car." 

"I can't," Blaine says, embarrassed. "I'm not old enough." 

"Yeah, yeah," Kurt says fondly, not catching on to Blaine's awkwardness. "I'm old. I get it. No matter. I'll do the renting and the driving while we're here. That doesn't bother me." 

"I can't let you do that," Blaine insists, as he hurries along next to him. Boy, Kurt can walk fast. "It's not fair for you to have to drive in a city you don't know, first of all. Plus, you don't have..." 

"Any money?" Kurt finishes for him, as they stop at the rentals desk, and Blaine looks down. "Blaine, dad paid for the flights, you paid for the hotel...let me feel like I'm doing my part here, please. Driving in a strange city doesn't faze me at all. I want to rent a car because I want you to feel safe, and right now, you look like you're about to throw up on my shoes. If we have a car, it means that if any situation proves too much we can leave right away, no waiting for a cab or relying on an awkward ride from your mom, or worse, Spencer. Please, let me rent a car for us." 

Blaine gives a small nod, and Kurt goes ahead, unable to work out why Blaine is upset. By the time they arrive at the hotel, Kurt has had enough of Blaine's silence, and shuts the engine off, turning to him. "Okay, so what? You're upset that you're not old enough to rent a car? You didn't want me to? This one isn't good enough?"

"No..no, it's just..." Blaine takes a deep, shaking breath, and forces himself to look Kurt in the eye. "I'm trying to be a man," he admits. "Because I remember Spencer used to tell me I was a girl all the time. You don't forget that sort of thing, but I'll be honest. I'm a homebody. I like my set routine, going places I know, being with people I love. I like familiarity. Being in a new place scares me. I want to just let you handle everything, because my head is so full of what we're here for that I really don't want to panic about finding my way around, or how to check into a hotel when I've never done it before, but I want to step up for you. I don't want you to think you're dragging me around like some kind of child." 

"Have you ever stayed in a hotel?" 

"Just once, with your dad. But we shared a room. He offered to get me my own, but I didn't want to, and he handled all the checking in and stuff. I don't know like...when do I pay? They have my credit card details, does that mean they've charged me already? How do I tip? Why isn't there a manual on these things? There should be," he says, clearly upset. "There should be like a thing online where you can find out, or a book, or...or....instructions...like a manual," he finishes lamely, folding his hands in his lap.

Kurt lifts his chin with his finger, but Blaine's eyes are downcast, defeated, and he won't meet his gaze. "Blaine, sweetheart, stop." Getting no response, he leans forward, pulling a stiff and unyielding Blaine into his arms and kissing his cheek. "I love you, Blaine, but I'm not gonna let you do this. You might be worried about being in a strange city, or staying in a hotel, but you're using that as an excuse and you know it. Listen to me. I am here. Cling to me, let me support you and let me help you. I wouldn't be here at all if I didn't want to be, and you know me well enough to know that's true. Your real issue is that you're scared to see Spencer and his sons again, and that is perfectly understandable. I can't pretend it doesn't fill me with a deep unease, either. You can do this though, and you know why?"

Blaine keeps his gaze lowered, his voice a tiny whisper. "Because I have to?" 

"Because you are so much better than them. You have a good, kind heart and you know what it's like to love someone and be loved in return, open, honestly and without anyone tormenting you or making you feel like you're worthless. You never need to feel that way again, Blaine, because not only are you worth everything to dad and me, your being here is entirely optional. You don't like how they treat you? You can walk away. You have the power to do that now, and you're strong enough to do that. You are a man, Blaine, whether you know how to check into a hotel or can rent a car is irrelevant. What makes you a man is the way that you love, care and protect me and dad, with all your heart." 

"You really think all that?" Blaine asks in surprise. "That love makes me a man?" 

"Yes." 

Blaine sits staring out through the windshield, taking it all in for a moment. Eventually, he turns to Kurt, looking....if not happy, then something approaching it, at least. "I love you," he says, leaning across to graze his lips over Kurt's. "Thank you, for understanding me." 

"Anytime. So, shall we go check in? I have no idea what I'm doing either, so let's just give it a shot." 

It's easier, with Kurt by his side, wondering aloud if it's okay to take more than one of the mints from the bowl, or if you can refuse help with your luggage because you don't want to have to pay for another tip. He knows all the answers of course, and Blaine knows he knows too, but his silliness and sense of humor lightens the situation, and Blaine manages to check them in without any mistakes being made. 

"You know, we're missing the point of all this," Kurt says, once they're alone in the room. "Which is that this is our first mini vacation together." 

"Great," Blaine says with a laugh, as he looks out at the harbor. "A trip to visit my bullies and tormentors. That's one to tell the grandkids." 

"Who cares where we are, or for what purpose, we're in a hotel together, for two nights. That's kinda exciting, right?" 

Blaine gives a shrug, as Kurt comes up behind him and wraps his arms around his waist. "I guess." 

"It is," Kurt insists. "We can walk around naked the entire time if we want, and no one's gonna barge in to tell us the things they've found on the google." 

This makes Blaine laugh, and he turns to hold Kurt properly, kissing the tip of his nose, before backing them slowly toward the bed. "The google is a valuable source of information," he teases. "I used the google to find out how to give a blow job." 

"But you perfected it on me," Kurt says smugly, letting Blaine lie him down, before he presses himself on top and kisses along his neck. 

"I did," he whispers, smiling when Kurt growls low in his throat. "Gosh, I love you, tiger. Do I maybe need to perfect it some more?" 

"Blow jobs? Kurt asks weakly, as Blaine runs a hand up under his t-shirt. "No, you're amazing! That tongue has special powers, I keep telling you." 

Blaine pulls back, looking right into Kurt's eyes, and smiling at his lack of comprehension. "Kurt, what I mean is, would you like me to suck you off right now?" 

"Oh." Kurt blinks, then it dawns on him. "Oh! I see. I didn't get that." 

"I figured." 

"Yes please." 

*

Kurt paces around the room restlessly, waiting for Blaine to emerge from the bathroom. He knows how stressed and worked up he is, despite their afternoon activities, because he had shut himself away to shower and dress in private. The door finally unlocks and Blaine stands there, hair gelled down tightly and dressed in nice gray pants, and a black button down with a red tie. 

"Why are you dressed like that?" Kurt asks in surprise. "It's so hot out." 

He wants to add that Blaine looks like he's ready for another show choir competition, but then Blaine also looks like he might crumple at any moment, so as much as it pains him, he keeps the rest of his thoughts to himself. 

"Just wanted to look nice." 

"You always look nice," Kurt says, trying to reassure him. "But you've been wearing shorts for the last month at least." 

"I know, but...well, shorts make me look young, don't they." 

"You are young," Kurt laughs. "I'm wearing shorts," he points out. "Does that make me look desperate?"

"No, but shorts don't say smart and sophisticated." 

"You know what?" Kurt asks, leading Blaine gently to the bed, and taking his hand. "Beige shorts, a blue plaid button down and yellow bow tie says Blaine to me, and makes me smile. Be you, Blaine. Don't be this....this...dull person. You have the most unique and beautiful style and I love it. Of course, as a fashion writer, this also means that I'm totally right and you should listen to me," he says with a smile and a sweet nudge to his shoulder. "Clothes are supposed to make us feel comfortable. I love you, and I love you dressed like this, or in sweats and a hoodie. I love you however, but I want you to feel comfortable tonight. It's important that you do, and I think you'll feel more comfortable if you dress a little more Blaine like." 

"I would," Blaine says with a nod. "Will you help me decide?"

And so, wearing nice navy shorts with a white shirt and red bow tie, a much more comfortable Blaine, and an incredibly nervous but trying not to show it Kurt pull up outside the Lane house just before seven. 

"Ready?" 

"Yeah," Blaine breathes, sounding anything but. "Yeah, let's go." 

They ring the doorbell and wait, with Blaine holding tight to Kurt's hand, then dropping it, then taking it again, until Kurt lets go gently. "It's okay," he whispers. "I understand." 

"It's just I don't want to..." 

"Upset me? You won't. We have the rest of our lives to hold hands whenever we want." 

Blaine manages a smile at this, and then the door opens to reveal Angie Lane, as petite and beautiful as ever, wearing white Capri pants and a pink blouse. "Blaine!" she cries, and Kurt is surprised that she seems genuinely pleased to see him. He's more surprised by Blaine's reaction though, because he falls into her arms and looks as though he never wants to let go, and Kurt had been convinced their reunion would be awkward and formal.

"Look at you," Angie says, pulling back first and holding him at arms length to look him up and down. "My baby boy! You haven't changed one bit. I can't believe it's been a year! Come in, come in. Oh," she says, casting a quick glance in Kurt's direction. "Hello Kurt." 

Kurt would like to say many things, like Blaine has changed so much, and in ways she wouldn't even begin to know about, but he doesn't. He just follows them into the house and hopes that this evening will pass quickly. 

"Boys!" Angie calls up the stairs. "Boys, Blaine's here! Come down and say hi!" She turns to Blaine and Kurt with a bright smile. "They'll be so pleased to see you again." 

"Uh...no," Blaine says quietly. "I don't think they will." 

"Sure they will," she says, as she shows them into the living room. "They talk about you all the time." 

Neither Kurt or Blaine are sure if this is a total lie or a just an innocent misconception, so they say nothing, and stand side by side rather than sit, as Angie rocks on her heels awkwardly. 

"Hey Blaine!" Max enters the room. He is now massively tall, and broad too, with shaggy brown hair that falls into his eyes. "Good to see you!" 

"Really?" Blaine asks, stunned, as Angie slips from the room, saying something about checking on dinner. 

"No," Max sneers, the second Angie is gone. "Look at you, you're still as ugly and gay as ever, and you still dress like you're five." 

Kurt's immediate reaction is to open his mouth and say something, but Blaine beats him to it. "Yeah," he nods, stepping closer, "and you're still an ignorant ass. Some things never change." 

Max's gaze flicks to Kurt, looming large behind Blaine and ready to pounce at any second. "You're back, I see." 

"Oh, I never went away," Kurt says lightly. 

Max frowns in confusion, trying to remember. "Yeah you did. Blainey was left all alone, crying his heart out cause he couldn't get his ass fucked." 

Kurt takes one step forward, which is filled with menace, and actually makes Max step back. Taking Blaine's hand firmly in his, and keeping his eyes locked on Max, he raises their clasped hands, kissing Blaine's fingers, while giving Max an ice cold smile. "I never went away. And FYI? He fucks my ass most of the time." 

"Okay boys," Angie trills, as she comes back in. "Dinner's nearly ready. Max, isn't it nice to have Blaine here?" 

"Yeah," he says, plastering a fake smile on his face. "Though I don't know why you're staying in a hotel, Blainey. You could've crashed here." 

"Oh, thanks," Blaine says brightly, and then the second his mom is out of the room again, he lowers his voice. "But we can get pretty loud, you see, our sex is so damn fantastic. Wouldn't want to keep you all awake." 

His heart is pounding, his palms are slippery with sweat, and he feels like he wants to run a million miles, but when Max turns and walks away in disgust, Blaine feels a small sense of triumph. "Well done," Kurt whispers in his ear. 

"Thank you. What you said wasn't strictly true though." 

"We switch, which is pretty astounding for me, but he doesn't need to know that," Kurt says, tugging Blaine closer and kissing his cheek. "Love you. You can do this, okay?" 

"Yeah," Blaine says, with more conviction than he actually feels. "Yeah, okay." 

Spencer doesn't arrive until everyone is seated in the dining room. Kurt and Blaine are side by side, thankfully, but they are opposite Simon, Max and James, who all sit sneering at them, and Blaine can feel himself starting to crumble. He forces himself to look up, and not down in his lap like he wants to. "That is not me anymore," he tells himself over and over. "I am not weak. They have no hold over me, and with Kurt by my side I am stronger and better than them." 

"Blaine." Spencer gives a sharp nod, as he strides into the room and sits at the head of the table, and he ignores Kurt completely. "Okay. Let's eat." 

It's possibly the most excruciating meal Kurt has ever been to. Nobody thinks, or wants, to offer Kurt and Blaine food, except Angie, so they don't. Blaine takes minuscule portions of everything, and though the food looks good, and he's hungry, Kurt follows suit, figuring he will be finding a McDonalds on the way back to the hotel whatever happens. 

"So," Spencer declares loudly, once everyone starts to eat. "Blaine. You don't change, do you? You're still tiny, and you still dress like a first grader. Why is that?" he wonders aloud, then his gaze flicks to Kurt. "Is that some weird fetish of yours?" 

"Yep," Kurt says, not missing a beat. "You can't trust us gays. Kinky as anything." 

"Barf," James says, sticking his fingers down his throat, and Simon and Max laugh as if it's the most hilarious thing ever. 

"I have changed actually," Blaine suddenly blurts, turning bright red as he speaks. "I've filled out, for a start, because I use a punching bag and lift weights. I dress how I dress because I like to look presentable, and I like to look like a gentleman for Kurt. I might still be quiet; that's my nature anyhow, but I'm not a pushover anymore. I won't be bullied and I won't cower away in silence because you think it's fun to torment me." 

"Yeah, but you haven't really changed, have you?" Spencer mocks with disdain. "You're still reliant on daddy to make things right for you, it's just that you've latched on to his daddy instead," he says, with a glance at Kurt. 

"Spencer, leave him be," Angie says quietly. 

"Blaine's right, he has changed, because he's grown up, which is more than can be said for your sons, who will never amount to anything other than pathetic bullies," Kurt snaps.

"Hey!" Max objects. "I graduated last week! I'm going to college too," he says proudly. "Sports scholarship." 

"Oh why am I not surprised?" Kurt asks, oblivious to Blaine, who has retreated inside himself as if he were sixteen again. "You'll still end up in a dead end job, with no hope for the future, because people will realize what an ass you really are." 

"I'll do better than him!" Max flares, pointing at Blaine who is trying not to cry. 

"Really? Will you?" Kurt asks, relishing the fight. "Did you know that Blaine is going to NYU to study mechanical engineering? Did you know he's already been scouted by NASA as a potential graduate employee? Did you know spacecraft engineers earn on average a hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year? I'm not sure what the going rate is at McDonalds, but I don't think it's quite the same. Blaine graduated too you know, not that anyone here bothered or cared. 5.0 GPA, which places him in the top one percent of the country, I believe. Now tell me again about all your achievements. How far can you kick a football?" 

Max is cut off from replying by Angie, who reaches out for Blaine's hands in his lap, and squeezes them tight. "Blaine, honey? Is that right? You're in the top one percent?" 

"Uh...yeah," Blaine mumbles, aware of everyone listening intently. "Yeah that's right. I um...I want to work for NASA, like Kurt said." 

"Blaine, my darling, that's amazing," his mom says, with tears in her eyes. "I am so proud of you." And Blaine...Blaine looks so happy, that it makes Kurt want to bang his head against the nearest hard surface. His whole face lights up with joy as he sits straighter in his chair, his eyes sparkling as he turns excitedly to Kurt, who offers a weak smile in return. Nevermind the fact that all she's offered in his defense has been one short and quiet reprimand to her husband, Blaine is now looking at her like she holds the answer to all of life's problems, and Kurt cannot for the life of him figure out why. 

"Max climbed the flagpole at his graduation," Angie continues with a laugh. "Such a joker!" 

And so the meal continues. No more questions are asked of Blaine, and Kurt stays silent too, until Angie declares she will make coffee. "Go through to the living room," she says brightly. "Simon, Max, you go too." 

"Oh no, we have to go," Kurt says with a worried glance at Blaine, who still looks happy. "We have to um....go," he finishes lamely. 

"We don't have to go," Blaine says in confusion. "We can stay for a while. Mom? Can I please use the bathroom?" 

"Sure honey. Second door on the left." 

Blaine goes off, leaving Kurt with little to no argument, so he reluctantly follows Max into the living room, while Simon mumbles something and heads down the hall.

Blaine uses the bathroom, before washing his hands and pulling open the door, only to be pushed back in immediately by Simon, who pins him to the wall by his throat. 

"Faggot," he snarls. "Keep the hell away from me and my family, you hear me? You're not welcome and you never will be, now be a good little Blainey and run along. Tell momma you can't stay for coffee after all, and keep you and your cock sucking boyfriend out of this house forever, got it?" 

Blaine opens his mouth to reply, but Simon suddenly squeezes Blaine's groin, his fingers digging hard under Blaine's testicles until white spots of burning pain appear before his eyes. 

"I said, have you got it?" He asks, squeezing harder and twisting his hand at the same time. 

Blaine gives an anguished cry of pain, as he falls to the floor. "Yes," he gasps weakly, looking up with tears in his eyes. "Yes, we'll go now." 

"Good boy, Blainey," Simon says, satisfied. "Good boy." 

*

"So, you and Blaine," Spencer says, as he sits in the armchair and doesn't invite Kurt to take a seat. "What's that all about?" 

"What's what about? We're together, he's moving to New York and I'm excited about it," Kurt says with a shrug. 

"You do realize you're taking on a little girl, right?" 

"Mr Lane," Kurt sighs, settling uninvited on the couch. "I know I've explained this to you before, but try to listen this time. Blaine is not a girl. If Blaine was a girl, that would make me either a girl too, and therefore a lesbian, or straight. I can assure you I am about as straight as Blaine's hair, and I am most certainly not a lesbian. I can also assure you that calling someone a girl in a derogatory manner, is about as mature as calling someone a dum-dum, or telling them they smell like poop. Poor Max. It's no wonder he's so dumb, with a father like you." 

"You..." Spencer makes to get out of his chair, but thinks better of it, clenching his fists instead. "You make me sick," he snarls through gritted teeth. "You, and your faggot ways. You're disgusting." 

"I know I am," Kurt sighs dramatically. "Look at me. So well dressed and stylish. Totally gay. I fell in love too! How gay. I also work for a women's magazine, and there's only one other guy in our office. Guess what? He's gay too. If you were to look gay up in the dictionary, my picture would be there as the definitive definition. I make my bed in the mornings, I like soft furnishings, I squeal when I see a kitten or puppy, and I check my hair in the mirror a million times a day. I take it up the ass and enjoy it, and I also...." he stands, walking threateningly towards Spencer and towering over him, "can kick the living shit out of you and your repugnant offspring. Don't fuck with me, or Blaine, because I will kill you." 

"We have to go." 

White faced and visibly shaking, Blaine appears in the living room, just as Angie arrives with a tray of coffee. Kurt is by his side immediately, knowing something is really wrong. Anyone can see, but Angie chooses to ignore it, and offers a smile instead. 

"Okay sweetie. Well, it was nice to see you again." 

"That's it?" Kurt asks in surprise. "We're in Baltimore until Monday." 

"Are you?" Angie leads the way out into the hall, opening the front door wide. "That's nice. I hope you enjoy your break." 

"That's....I wanted..." Blaine starts, then shakes his head and tries again. He is obviously petrified and in a huge amount of pain, but determined to say more, and Kurt is moved to near tears when he tugs gently on the sleeve of Angie's blouse, much like he would have done as a child. "Please let me see you again? Please?" 

"I don't know, Blaine. There's always trouble when you arrive." 

"Not here then," he says urgently, though Kurt wonders why he bothers. "Come meet me tomorrow. For lunch or something. Just you." He swallows nervously, and Kurt notices how much he is sweating. 

"I could," Angie says half heartedly. "The boys are fishing with Spencer so....okay. I guess so." 

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank..."

"Okay, Blaine," Kurt says quietly. "Why don't you call your mom in the morning huh? We can work it out then." 

"Okay," Blaine nods. "Goodnight, mom. Thank you for dinner." 

If Blaine was hoping for any affection, he is left disappointed when Angie just bids them good night and closes the door, leaving Kurt to place a gentle guiding arm around his waist, and lead him to the car. He actually has to help Blaine into the passenger seat, though he still won't say what is wrong, and he is silent the entire ride back to the hotel. 

"Oh damn. I forgot to get McDonalds," Kurt says, once they're in their room. Blaine stands looking out the window, his back to Kurt, still numb. "Did you want anything? I can go out again, or we can order room service, if you want? Split the bill?" 

"I uh....excuse me," Blaine whispers, and turning, he pushes past Kurt and into the bathroom, where he proceeds to throw up violently.

"Oh Blaine." Kurt kneels next to him, rubbing a soothing hand over his back, and placing a cool washcloth on the back of his neck. "It's okay, my darling. It's okay." 

"It's not okay," Blaine cries weakly, resting his forehead on his arm, and staring down at the contents of his stomach. "It's not okay, Kurt, and it never will be. I want my mom. I want her to love me. I want her to love me." He breaks off, choking on a sob, before he gives in and cries as hard as he wants to, and Kurt, his wonderful and loving Kurt, kisses into his hair and holds him tight, not caring about the stench of vomit that surrounds them, or that Blaine is getting tears and snot all over his shirt. He holds, and he kisses, and he soothes, until Blaine feels like he can breathe again and he pulls back, wiping at his eyes. 

"Sorry," he says hoarsely. "Sorry. I'm..." 

"No." Kurt is firm, getting to his feet and fetching a glass of water. "Don't be sorry, Blaine, because I don't blame you one bit. You want to cry then go ahead. I'm not going to laugh at you, or tell anyone, I'm only gonna love you even more, if that was possible." 

"Simon," Blaine chokes out weakly. "Simon....he....he assaulted me um....there," he says quietly, feeling stupidly ashamed. "He cornered me in the bathroom and um..." he gestures with his hand, as Kurt's eyes grow wide in horror. "It really hurt," he says, his tears starting again. "It still hurts. Not just there, but everywhere. All over." 

"Come on," Kurt says, helping him to his feet and flushing the toilet clean. He figures he'll have a thousand and one ways to think of revenge during what is bound to be a sleepless night. "Let's get you to bed." 

"McDonalds," Blaine protests. "You wanted McDonalds." 

"Screw that. I have a cereal bar in my bag. Do you um...do you want me to take a look?" 

"No," Blaine says, turning his back to unbutton his shirt. "It doesn't look like it does when I'm with you." 

"Blaine, I've seen you naked tons of times, and not always because we're both aroused. It's okay." 

"It's not," Blaine whispers, mortified. "Cause it's like...in hiding, I think." 

There is a pause, but when he looks back over his shoulder with his eyebrows raised, Kurt knows it's okay to laugh, and that seems to make everything a little bit easier. "You fool," Kurt says affectionately, kissing Blaine's cheek and taking him in his arms. "Let me look." 

Blaine lies down on the bed completely naked, the pain, both physical and emotional, reduced to a dull ache when Kurt carefully examines him with a tender and gentle touch. "Just bruising I think," Kurt says, when he pulls his own clothes off and settles next to him on the bed. "Which is more than can be said for your heart." 

Blaine cuddles in, grateful for the arm Kurt wraps around his shoulders. "It wasn't that bad," he starts, then thinks better of it. "Actually, it was terrible. I don't want to ever see them again, Kurt, not ever." 

"We won't," Kurt says, his voice firm and certain. "I promise you Blaine, that you will never have to sit in a house with Spencer or his sons again. I won't allow it. I'm gonna love you, and keep you safe to the best of my ability for...well, for the rest of our lives, okay?" 

"Promise?" 

"Faithfully." 

There is so much more Kurt would like to say, and to ask especially, such as why was Blaine so happy when his mom paid him one tiny compliment, and why was he so desperate to see her again tomorrow, but when he looks, he notices that Blaine is fast asleep, as if Kurt's promise was all he needed to make him feel safe again. So kissing his forehead gently, Kurt forgets all about his growling stomach in favor of flipping out the light and keeping his boyfriend safe all night long.


	42. Chapter 42

"Blaine?" Kurt sits up, squinting into the dim room to see his boyfriend sitting in a chair, his phone screen illuminating his face. "What're you doing?" Kurt asks, his voice rough with sleep. 

"Oh, um...I was just wondering if it's too early to call mom."

Kurt picks up his phone to check. "It's not even eight." 

"I know, but she said they're going fishing, right? So they would have left early." 

"Blaine, sweetheart, come back to bed. Let me hold you a while, and you can call in a couple of hours." 

Blaine nods, setting his phone down and returning to bed, snuggling into Kurt's embrace. "Hey, did you go out last night?" 

"Huh? No. I was with you." 

"Oh. Yeah, that's what I thought," Blaine says tiredly. "It's just that your jacket was on the chair when I got up. I'm sure it was hanging in the closet, because you decided not to take it to dinner." 

"Yeah, I grabbed it before we left and then decided to leave it. I didn't have time to hang it up, and then when we got back we were kinda distracted, so...." 

"You mean I was being a pain in the ass." 

"Did I say that?"

"You didn't have to."

"Don't put words in my mouth, Blaine," Kurt says, exasperatedly running a hand through his hair. "We were distracted, that's what I said and I mean it. You know what? We talk about a future together, that means accepting that we will see each other in moments of weakness. Not only that, but we'll want to help each other through it. That's what makes this so different to me, you know? I want to be here, I want to be the one that comforts you and dries your tears, and you know what else? At some point, for whatever reason, I'm gonna have tears too, and I wouldn't want anyone else but you to see me that vulnerable. I trust you with all my heart, Blaine, and I need you to trust me when I say I want to help you." 

"I do," Blaine whispers sadly. "I just don't know why you would want to, that's all." 

"Why would you want to comfort me? Why do you send me flowers when I get a new job? Why do you tell me you're proud when you read my articles?" 

Blaine frowns, then smiles as it dawns on him. "Because I love you." 

"Exactly. I love you, Blaine, more than I ever thought it was possible to love anyone. I fall deeper in love with you every day." 

Blaine seems satisfied, dropping a kiss to Kurt's chest and giving a soft sigh, but then he's talking again. "Kurt?" 

"Hmm?" 

"Can I ask you something?" 

"Go for it." 

"It might sound weird, I'm not very good with words." 

"Try me." 

Blaine lifts his head, resting his chin on Kurt's chest. "Are you really my tiger? Like, is that a pet name I can call you?" 

"Depends. Are you my puppy?" 

"If you want me to be." 

"Then yes," Kurt says decisively. "I am your tiger, but we’ll never tell a soul." 

"Damn right," Blaine says, feeling ridiculously elated over something he had always thought so silly. "You got tiger. Majestic, mysterious and dangerous. I got puppy. Fluffy baby dog who can't climb stairs properly."

"Oh Blaine," Kurt laughs, running a hand through Blaine's curls. "You got puppy because you're adorable. You climb stairs perfectly well, you know. Don't put yourself down." 

They laugh together and Blaine settles down again, resting his head contentedly on Kurt's shoulder, closing his eyes ready to sleep. 

"Blaine?" 

"Hmm?" 

"I wanna ask you something, but I'm not really sure how to say it either, like, it's been running around in my head, but the words sound all wrong." 

"Okay, well, try me," Blaine says, rolling onto his front and propping himself up on his elbows. 

Kurt turns on his side, giving Blaine a quick kiss and smoothing a hand over his back. "Yesterday, when we were with your mom, there was a lot I didn't understand. You were doing really great, you know? And then Spencer appeared, and....I guess I was shocked to see a re-emergence of the sixteen year old I first met." 

"He does that to me," Blaine whispers sadly. "He makes me feel that way. With the others, I feel kinda like I can hold my own, or I did until Simon...." Blaine trails off, swallowing and shaking his head. "I felt stronger around them. Not great, and certainly not comfortable, but stronger than I used to. One word from Spencer and that's it, I fall apart." 

"I get that," Kurt says with a nod. "I remember, I must've been twenty three at least, because I had graduated, I went into Walmart for dad. I got in line, and then realized that the guy in front of me was the biggest bully in high school. I ran," he admits. "I left everything there and ran to the car. I was shaking so much I had to call dad to come get me, it was awful." 

"For me, I don't think that will ever change," Blaine admits softly. "I really can't ever see him again, Kurt. Like, imagine if we had kids, and I saw him then? I wouldn't want them seeing me fall apart like that, it wouldn't be right." 

"Well for what it's worth, I thought you were incredibly brave." 

"I had no comebacks," Blaine says sadly, then gives Kurt a pointed look. "Unlike you."

"Ah. Well." Kurt gives an embarrassed smile. "I'm not very good at keeping my mouth shut, not when it comes to defending you. Sorry."

"Don't be." 

"I guess what I really want to know though, is what the deal was with your mom?" 

Blaine gives a frown. "Like what?" 

"Well, for me, the reason I dislike her so much is because she does this thing, where she's all sweetness and light. She's happy, smiling and she calls you honey or sweetie, but she really couldn't give a shit, could she? When they were all goading you at the dinner table, she was just sitting there, letting them carry on." 

"She did say something," Blaine protests weakly, but he can sense that Kurt is on a roll, and an angry one at that, and he knows he's about to be shot down.

"Oh, one time!" Kurt cries. "And that was so quiet it could barely be heard. What I don't get, is when I talked about your grades and she congratulated you, you just seemed so...so..." Kurt pauses, floundering as he tries to find the words. "So pathetically grateful, I guess. I wanted to shake you." 

"What?" Blaine sits up in alarm, as Kurt scrambles upright too, sensing that somehow he didn't go about that very well. "I'm pathetic?" 

"No, that's not what I.... poor choice of words," Kurt admits. "Sorry." 

"Damn right!" Blaine flares angrily. "Seriously, Kurt, that's what you think? That I'm pathetic?" 

"No! Not at all. I'm sorry, that's....okay, let me try again." Kurt takes a breath, surprised at how much he is shaking inside, trying so hard not to mess this up. "What I mean, is she did nothing at all to defend you against them, which makes me mad. When we left, she wasn't even thinking she would see you again while we're here, and again, that makes me mad. What does she think, that we'd fly to Baltimore for dinner?"

"I don’t know," Blaine admits. "That hurt me." 

"I'm not surprised. But she pays you one tiny compliment, and it's like she's just...I don't know, handed you six million dollars, or something. I guess what I don't understand, is why? Why her approval means so much to you, when she's such a terrible parent? Why were you so desperate to see her again today, when she clearly didn't care?" 

"Kurt, I...." Blaine breaks off, pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes as he thinks. Eventually, he takes a deep breath and sits a little straighter. "Let me try and explain something. Suppose you could turn that tv on right now, and see your mom in heaven?" 

"I don't believe in heaven." 

"Well I do, but whatever, suppose you could see her, exactly as she was when you were seven. And suppose she looked at you, smiled, and said she was so proud of you for all you had done?"

Kurt stares at the darkened tv and tries to imagine it, but all he gets is a dark, unpleasant twist of longing, which makes him want to cry. "Anything," he whispers sadly, "I'd give anything." 

"And you'd feel happy and sad all at the same time, right?" Blaine asks, and Kurt nods, still staring ahead. "And if, just one time, she could hold you, it would feel so good that you'd never want to let go. You wouldn't want her to go again, to leave you, you wouldn't want that memory to be snatched away." 

"You know that," Kurt says, wiping at his eyes. "You know." 

"I do," Blaine confirms, taking Kurt's hands in his. "So now look at it this way. When my mom told me she was proud yesterday, for just that moment, however brief, she was the mom I lost when I was fifteen. She was the mom I always had, the one who was so happy and thrilled with the family god had given her, that she needed nothing else to be fulfilled. For those few seconds, when she held my hands, I wasn't sitting around a table filled with people who hate me. I was three, seven, nine, fourteen. I was winning little league medals, I was getting A's on my report cards and I was learning to ride my bike. She was by my side, clapping and cheering for me. She was taking my report card to the grocery store just so she could tell the cashier my grades. She was jumping up and down excitedly as I told her my science project had won the fair. She was my mom, Kurt. The real one. My dad died. He's not coming back, however much I wish he could, but my mom....she's still in there, somewhere, and I had the briefest of glimpses yesterday. That's why I seemed pathetic, maybe, and that's why I need to see her again today, because I need to try and find her again." 

Kurt looks up, meeting and holding Blaine's earnest gaze. He gets it, he understands, and no words are needed as he shuffles closer and drapes his arms over Blaine's shoulders. He kisses him gently, tenderly and full of love, and Blaine relaxes, knowing it's all okay and that he doesn't need to say anything else. He lies down, with Kurt half on top of him, and he gives a soft moan at the feel of Kurt's tongue brushing gently against his. Sliding his hands into his thick hair, Blaine tugs him closer, trying to maneuver him on top, but Kurt pulls back. 

"Are you okay?" he asks, flicking his glance downward. 

“I um...yes,” Blaine says softly. “I’ll say, if it...”

“Okay. Because I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Kurt, I don’t think you ever will.” 

Kissing is where it stays, but that is all either of them needs. It’s fun to tease each other, and it’s fun for Kurt to lie on top of Blaine and pin his roaming hands above his head. He laughs as he tries to squirm free, and both know his attempts are futile with Kurt’s solid weight on his chest. 

“No,” Kurt laughs, trying to kiss Blaine’s lips again. “Your hands stay out of my pants.”

“They’re pajamas,” Blaine corrects, “And you shouldn’t have such a fine ass then, should you?” 

“It is rather amazing.”

“So modest.”

“Hey! This ass is heaven sent. I can’t help being proud of it.”

“Thought you didn’t believe in heaven?” Blaine asks, then sticks his tongue out for good measure. Kurt shrieks and tries to tickle him, but he is unceremoniously pushed to one side when Blaine’s phone rings and he rushes to pick it up. 

“It’s my mom!” he cries, and Kurt sees that eager little boy reappear as he rushes to answer with an excited “Hello?”

*  
Just before one, Blaine and Kurt arrive at the harbor meeting point Angie had arranged. She is there already, and Kurt feels Blaine’s grip tighten on his fingers as they head toward her. 

“Hey mom.”

“Hello Blaine,” Angie says brightly, “and hello Kurt. Blaine dear, why are you wearing pink?”

“Uh...” Blaine tugs on his polo uncertainly, suddenly feeling quite choked by the pale blue bow tie at his neck. He had thought he looked good, but now he’s not so sure. “It’s uh...Burt bought it for me,” he says, as if that explains it, and for Blaine, it does. He likes to feel close to those who comfort him, and wearing the shirt reminds him of Burt. Not that Kurt isn’t being all kinds of wonderful, but he needs all the support he can get right now. 

“But it’s...” Angie starts, then thinks better of it, and Kurt stops short of biting her head off in anger. “Okay. Let’s walk a while. There’s a nice little restaurant along here where we can get lunch.”

Their walk is silent at first, and Kurt certainly isn’t about to try and make conversation, not when he’s still raging internally over the pink shirt. What was Angie going to say? He wonders. It’s gay? It’s a girls color? Certainly not anything good, that’s for sure. 

He suddenly becomes aware that she is talking as they walk, pointing out this building and that. “I work over there,” she says, pointing across the water. “See the building with the gold crest on the top?”

“You work there?” Blaine asks, astounded. “Wow.”

“Third floor. It’s a nice view, but distracting.”

“That’s what I find, working from home,” Kurt suddenly pitches in.

“You have a view of Manhattan?”

“No, in New York have a view of a brick wall. I mean when I’m in Ohio. The view is mostly Blaine, and Blaine is very distracting.”

Blaine tenses, sure that Kurt’s comment will cause Angie to stiffen and make some remark, but to everyone’s surprise- including her own, she laughs. “Yes, well, I can see that.”

“You have a beautiful son, Mrs Lane,” Kurt says sincerely, and he is buoyed when Blaine takes his hand once more, and gently squeezes it in thanks. 

“I remember,” Angie starts, and then stops as quickly as she began. “Nevermind.”

“No, what?” Kurt persists, because he knows how much Blaine is longing to hear what she has to say.

“I remember when he was born,” she says quietly, and they both have to strain to hear. “I was twenty two, still young in a lot of ways, and I thought all babies were just wrinkly angry looking things. The doctors handed Blaine to me and that was my first thought.” She smiles, and Kurt is taken aback by how wistful and sad she seems. “I have a beautiful son. He was easily the best looking baby there ever was.”

“I don’t doubt it,” Kurt says, because right now Blaine seems incapable of speech. “I looked like an elf.”

This makes them all laugh, and the atmosphere becomes easier as they walk along. 

“Simon’s girlfriend works in there,” Angie says, as they come up to a cafe. 

“Is that where we’re eating?” Blaine asks, but Angie stiffens and shakes her head. 

“No. Not there.”

“I’m amazed that anyone would want to date an ass like Simon,” Kurt muses aloud, ignoring the sharp look from Blaine. 

“Amber,” Angie tells him. “She’s nice. They’ve been dating a while. I’m not sure Simon is entirely faithful, but that’s his concern I guess.”

“No it’s not!” Kurt cries indignantly. “It’s her concern too! If she doesn’t know then someone should tell the poor girl!” 

“I’m not getting involved,” Angie sighs. “It’s too much. He’s very hotheaded like Spencer can be. We had major trouble this morning before they all went fishing.”

Kurt looks away in disgust, but Blaine tries to feign interest, even though he couldn’t care less. “Really? How come?”

“Someone slashed all the tires on the cars overnight. Spencer’s truck as well. It was only my car that was left untouched, so I got blamed because my car was the only one in the garage.”

“That’s not good,” Blaine frowns. “Someone did the whole street? Kids?”

“No, just their cars, which makes me think the boys have upset someone again somehow.”

“I am so hungry,” Kurt says, looking straight ahead. “Is the restaurant close?”

“Right here,” says Angie, and Kurt can feel Blaine’s eyes boring into him as they follow her inside. 

He pounces after they’ve ordered, when Angie politely excuses herself and heads to the bathroom. “You idiot!” he hisses across the table, and Kurt lowers his menu, looking innocent as can be. 

“Excuse me?”

“I know it was you! With the tires. I’m not a total moron. Your jacket wasn’t on the chair yesterday, you went out during the night while I was sleeping.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t mess with me, Kurt. Spencer will probably call the cops, you realize that? You’re no hardened criminal, you probably left a trail they could pick up on in some way, and that’s it, you’ll be up on charges of criminal damage.”

“Blaine, I have no idea what you mean,” Kurt says lightly. “But I highly doubt Spencer will call the cops, you heard your mom. By the sounds of things, they piss a lot of people off.”

“Oh fine,” Blaine huffs. “You want to play it that way then okay, but if it was you, and I ever find out for sure, I’ll....”

“You’ll what?” Kurt says hotly. “You’ll break up with me because I sought revenge on the bastards that hurt you? You’ll turn me into the cops because I love you so much? They are cold, cruel and menacing, Blaine. Given half a chance I’d kick the shit out of all of them, but I wouldn’t do that, because I’d end up being taken away from you, and you’d be at an even greater risk than you are now. They deserve absolutely everything they get, especially Simon. He violated your rights. You never gave him permission to touch you or hurt you there, and there are no words for what I’d like to do to that fucker for treating you like that. I’ll never be sorry, Blaine, not ever.”

Blaine glances around, but no one has heard Kurt’s impassioned yet quiet speech. “That’s if you did it, of course,” he says with a small conciliatory smile, and Kurt leans back in his chair with a smug grin. 

“Of course. If I did it.”

Lunch goes surprisingly well. There are moments where Angie lets her guard down completely; Blaine is enraptured, and Kurt, in turn, is enthralled at the ease and obvious affection between the pair. He finds himself warming to this version of Angie, the one who laughs loudly at the things Blaine says, who touches his hand every now and then, and whose eyes sparkle when she teases him, telling Kurt embarrassing childhood stories. 

“Well, when we have kids, I’ll make sure they don’t behave like that at the dinner table,” Kurt laughs after one such story, and Angie tenses, flicking her gaze between the pair. 

“You...you want that?” she asks Blaine, who nods emphatically. 

“For sure. One day. Not right now,” he adds hurriedly. “We’re not....well, we’re not even living together so.... I’m old fashioned,” he admits, with a shy smile at Kurt. “I’d like to be married before babies came along.”

“To a girl?”

Angie regrets the words the moment they are out of her mouth. She actually really likes Kurt, despite his forthrightness, and she can see that her question hurts them both. 

“No, mom,” Blaine says, taking Kurt’s hand firmly and kissing the back of it. “To Kurt.”

“I um...I’m sorry,” Angie says quietly, looking down at the table. “That was uncalled for and I apologize. It’s just….he knew, didn’t he?” she says, looking up with tears in her eyes. “Carl knew, and you didn’t tell me.”

“I couldn’t,” Blaine admits. “You had already stopped being my mom by that point.”

“I had....what?” Angie asks, appalled. “What did you just say to me?”

“Going for a walk,” Kurt whispers, kissing Blaine’s cheek. “Take all the time you need, but tell her how you feel.”

He slips away, barely noticed by either one, and heads outside to find the cafe Angie had mentioned. 

“When I knew, for sure, that I was gay,” Blaine says softly, “I wanted to tell both of you together, but I knew you were planning on leaving us, so I didn’t say anything. Then dad was sick, and you couldn’t leave, and then he died and Spencer came on the scene, and there was no way I was going to tell you then.”

“I wish you’d talked to me,” Angie admits. “There’s a lot for me to try and understand, and I can’t pretend it’s easy to accept that the only child I have is gay.”

“You have the boys,” Blaine says bitterly.

“They’re not my children. I just wish....” She stops, shaking her head sadly. "I wish things had worked out differently." 

"How?" Blaine snaps. "With us? With dad? This was all your doing, mom, no one else's. You have no one to blame but yourself, and if you're not happy then I'm sorry, but I have no sympathy at all. I wasn't happy either, you know." 

"Wasn't?"

"I am now," Blaine clarifies. "And you know why? I went out and found my own happiness, with another family who now accept me as their own." 

"And you?" Angie asks, knowing the answer already. "Which family do you feel you belong to?" 

"I belong with Burt. I love dad with my whole heart, but I love Burt equally. He's not dad, but he is another dad to me, I don't view him as anything else anymore," Blaine says, realizing the truth of the situation as he speaks. "He's my dad." 

"And your mom?" 

"I want, more than anything, for that to be you," Blaine says quietly. "But you know, don't you, how miserable I've been? How truly awful that year was? You know what they did to me, and you could see it again last night, yet each time you chose to ignore it, and I don't know why." 

“Blaine...” Angie trials off, grateful for the distraction of paying the waiter, batting Blaine’s hand away when he offers his card. “Don’t be silly. Come on, let’s go find Kurt.”

They step out into the bright sunshine, and Angie walks ahead a little, before waiting for Blaine to catch up. “Yes, I know what they did. I know how awful it was for you, and for the rest of my life, I have to live with the fact that you were driven out of your own home. Do you think I find that easy? No. I know I’ve turned a blind eye for the sake of a peaceful life, but that doesn’t mean I think it’s right. I do love you,” she says softly, taking Blaine’s hand in hers, and that is all it takes for his tears to come. He tries to hide them behind his sunglasses, but Angie catches on, wiping a thumb across his cheek. “I do love you,” she repeats again. “And I don’t want to lose you.”

“But you love Spencer more.”

“It’s not a competition.”

“It shouldn’t have to be,” Blaine says sadly. “When you have someone in your life who treats your child the way he treats me, your loyalties should lie with your kid.”

“Does Kurt treat you well?”

The question catches Blaine off guard, and he leans against a wall, scanning the people walking along the waterfront, as his mom stands next to him, waiting.

“If you’d asked me a month ago, I would’ve said most of the time, or he's getting better at it, but now? Yes,” he says, smiling as he thinks of his love. “He’s proven himself over and over recently, how much he cares, how much he loves me. It took time, I’ll admit. It has not been an easy journey, either for us as individuals, or as a couple, but we’re good now, and I can say with total conviction that I will be with Kurt for the rest of my life.” 

“Do it,” his mom urges surprisingly. “If that’s what you both want then go for it, and ignore anyone who tells you that it won’t work because of the age difference, or that you’re too young to settle down. And Blaine?”

“Yes?”

Angie pauses, taking his hand again, and studying their fingers as she talks quietly. “Don’t ever think the grass is greener. When you’re done with college, and you're settled with a house and kids, don’t wonder if the rest of the world is brighter, because it won’t be. The way Kurt loves you...you will never find anything better. If you want excitement, book a vacation together, start a joint hobby. Don’t become victims of routine and let things fall apart. Love needs work, commitment and energy to keep it alive. Build your dreams together, not alone.”

“Is that what happened?” Blaine whispers, his tears lodged in his throat. “With you and dad? You thought there had to be more to life?”

“There’s Kurt,” Angie says brightly, looking over Blaine’s shoulder. “So...I must go.”

“I don’t want you to go,” Blaine says, as Kurt arrives at his side. “I want you to stay with me.”

“Blaine...” She makes to touch him but thinks better of it, and Kurt sees the moment she puts all her barriers back up, standing straight and fixing her purse on her shoulder. “You have your family and I have mine. It was wonderful to catch up, and I’m sure we’ll do it again sometime. I hope college goes well.”

“But...”

“It was nice to see you.”

“But...”

“Be a good boy,” she says, kissing his cheek, then she turns and walks away quickly before she can crumble. 

Blaine doesn’t though. He stands on the Baltimore waterfront and sobs into Kurt’s arms, who holds him tightly and whispers reassurances in his ear, until he can compose himself enough to pull away and find a tissue. “God, I keep crying,” he says thickly, before he blows his nose. “You must be sick of this.”

“Not at all,” Kurt whispers, kissing his forehead. “I think we should....”

“Blaine!” 

Angie runs back quickly. She has obviously been crying too in the five minutes that have passed, but she doesn’t seem to care that her eye makeup is running down her cheeks. “I have this,” she says, handing him a letter. “It’s from your dad. He wanted me to give it to you on your eighteenth, but...well, I didn’t. So I’m giving it to you now. I also wanted to say something,” she pauses, not really sure how to proceed, but eventually she looks him in the eye. “I am sorry,” she says, choking on a sob. “I lost the two greatest men I ever had in my life because I’m a selfish fool. You might have your own family, but you’ll always be my baby, and I am so proud of the man you’ve become thanks to Burt. I love you, my darling boy.”

Blaine nods, completely unable to speak, and Angie walks swiftly away, while Kurt stands there trying to work out what the hell he’s supposed to say, but Blaine beats him to it. 

“Let’s go.”

“To the hotel?”

“Anywhere.”

They walk a little way, before Kurt thumps his own forehead. “Shit. Left my wallet.”

“You what?”

“I know. Wait there. I’ll be one minute.”

Kurt runs. Tearing past those out for a lazy sunday afternoon walk, past the cafe and nearly back to the restaurant before he spots Angie, sitting alone on a bench. “Don’t give up,” he cries, sitting down next to her. 

“Excuse me?”

“I was like you,” he rushes out, not caring in the least if he offends her. “Scared to admit to my own mistakes and failings, for fear of what others would think. Frightened to hold my hands up and admit that I had been wrong, and that I hadn’t been a nice person. There was no deep meaning behind my behavior either, though I tried every excuse in the book. In the end, I had to acknowledge that it was my actions, and mine alone, that caused my life to end up how it was. Once I saw that, and could admit it to my dad and Blaine, I could start to rebuild. Mrs Lane, you’re trapped and you’re scared. You think you have no choice but to live the life you’ve created for yourself, but that’s not true. You’ve changed once before, so why not change again? Blaine...and me...we’re always gonna be there. Blaine will love you forever, no matter what. You just need to let go and trust that everything will be okay.” 

Angie stands, straightening her blouse and smoothing out invisible creases in her pants. “Thank you, Kurt,” she says stiffly. “Tell Blaine I’ll call him soon.”

He has no idea if he’s done good or made the entire situation a whole lot worse, but he returns to Blaine’s side with as bright a smile as he can manage, and holds up his wallet. “Wanna go get a milkshake? Or go back and read your letter?”

“I don’t want to read it yet,” Blaine frowns, thinking out loud. “I need to get my head around all this first, before I move onto that. Do you think that’s okay?”

“I think that’s perfectly fine.”

“Can we get ice cream?”

“You just had ice cream,” Kurt points out. “At the restaurant.”

“I know, but I want more.”

“Then yes,” Kurt smiles, taking Blaine’s hand in his. “Ice cream for the puppy.”

And Blaine smiles, ducking his head and giving Kurt a sideways glance. “Quit with that, tiger.”

“Roar.”

"Woof."


	43. Chapter 43

“I think we should take it.” Kurt announces, standing in the empty living room of a large, bright and airy Manhattan apartment. 

Burt, Blaine and Santana, all turn to face him. “What?” they chorus in unison, and Kurt gives a shrug. 

“It’s big, the bedrooms are on the opposite side of the apartment from each other, the rent is low, considering its location and size, plus it's a ten minute walk away from Blaine’s dorms. I think we should take it.”

“This is the first place we’ve looked at,” Santana says warily. 

“I know, but I love it. Don’t you?”

“Yeah,” she says, stepping closer to peer at him. “But it’s the first place we’ve looked at.” She rests a hand on his forehead and gives a nod. “Yep. A lovesick fool.”

“Get off.”

“We’ll take it if you want to, I’m more than happy. Blaine?”

“Yeah, I love that it’s so close,” he says quietly, still shy around Santana. “Do you have enough furniture?”

“I think, between the two of us,” Kurt says, and Santana gives a sly grin. 

“You only need a bed, Hummel. You and Blaine won’t ever get any further.”

“Oh, hey now,” Burt interrupts, as Blaine tries to hide behind Kurt in embarrassment. “Blaine is going for a very complex degree. Kurt, you better let him have all the time he needs to study. You made the decision to live apart, and I think that’s very noble, but I’m not paying rent on two New York places if you’re gonna be here all the time, Blaine.”

“I’ll let him study,” Kurt says evenly. “We already agreed we’d spend three nights together a week.”

“Yeah, anyway, you’re not paying my rent,” Blaine points out.

“Yes I am.”

“You’re not. I have money to pay for college.”

“You pay your tuition, I’ll pay your rent,” Burt says, as Santana and Kurt slip away to argue over who has what bedroom. “No son of mine is going through college without my assistance, and don’t even argue, sunshine, cause I’ve paid the first semester already. I’m just sorry I can’t afford to pay your tuition as well.”

“But you....my dad left money...”

“Yeah, and one day you an’ Kurt will be wanting to buy a house together, and then you’ll have kids of your own to put through college. We all need a little step up that ladder, kid, and me and your dad will be the ones to give it to you. I don’t want you taking a job with a lot of hours and then finding you can’t study as much as you’d like. You have one very specific goal regarding your career, and I’ll be damned if I don’t want you to succeed more than anything. Keep your money, use it to support yourself in any way you see fit, and then, when college is done, anything that’s left over can go towards yours and Kurt’s future.” 

“You mean Kurt can spend it all on a wedding.”

“Pah! I’ve been saving for that since he was three,” Burt scoffs. “I always knew Kurt’s wedding wouldn’t be cheap.”

“Thank you,” Blaine whispers, resting his head on Burt’s shoulder. “Just...thank you.”

Burt brings his hand up, ruffling Blaine’s hair before smoothing it over. “Love you buddy.”

Blaine doesn’t move, in fact, he’s been pretty much clinging to either Burt or Kurt ever since his mom walked away on Sunday afternoon. He hasn’t spoken a word about what had taken place, though Kurt had slipped out of his embrace on Sunday night to quietly call his dad from the bathroom and fill him in. Without even asking, Blaine knew that Burt knew, and when they all met at JFK on Monday, Burt had held his arms open and Blaine had gone willingly, not moving until Kurt had gently prodded him, at which point he stayed sandwiched between the two of them whenever possible, or held Kurt’s hand tightly. 

“You read your letter?” Burt asks.

“No.”

“You gonna?”

“Sometime. I’m not ready yet.”

“I see.”

“Do you think I have to make myself be ready?”

“Nope. I think you’ll know,” Burt says, putting an arm around his shoulders. “But when you do read it? If you want to talk, you know where I am.”

Their moment is interrupted by the ringing of Blaine’s cell, and he hurries away excitedly when he sees it’s his mom calling, leaving Burt to go downstairs with Kurt and Santana to talk to the landlord. They wait for Blaine outside, and after a full half hour he emerges, squinting in the bright sunlight. 

“Finally,” Kurt laughs, throwing his hands up.

“Care to explain?”

“So, let’s eat,” Kurt says, ignoring Blaine completely. “There’s a really great deli a block over, we could go there?”

“Kurt,” Blaine says angrily, as they walk down the street. “Kurt, I am talking to you.”

“Not now, Blaine. Food takes precedence.”

“Kurt,” Blaine hisses, trying to keep their conversation out of earshot of Burt and Santana, who are walking ahead. “My mom says Simon’s girlfriend broke up with him.”

“She did? Maybe she realized he was an ass.”

“She found out about the cheating.”

“Oh? Too bad. For him, I mean. Not for her.”

“And he lost his job at the plastics factory.”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Apparently some woman claimed he had harassed her when he went to a training class.”

“He probably did.”

“Kurt,” Blaine’s voice is low, and heavy with warning. “Do you know anything about this?”

“I’m not a woman.”

“No, but....”

“Well then.”

“I worked in a plastics factory once,” Santana suddenly announces, and Blaine becomes aware that her and Burt have listened in on the whole thing. “I went to a training class. Some jerk harassed me, so I had him fired.” She gives an almighty wink at Blaine, kisses his cheek and then saunters into the deli, leaving the three men on the street, and a dumbstruck Blaine looks helplessly at Burt. 

“Don’t look at me,” he shrugs. “I’d be serving time if revenge was left up to me. At least he’s smart about it.” 

*

"I wasn't aware I was involved with the Mafia," Blaine says that night, as he watches Kurt moving around the tiny bedroom in his soon to be old apartment.

"Oh knock it off. Stop being so dramatic." 

"You know, if they ever find out it was you, they'll hunt you down." 

"And if they do, I'll be ready and waiting." 

"Oh yeah," Blaine scoffs. "You and whose army?" 

"I don't need an army," Kurt retorts, climbing into bed. "The way they treat you makes me angrier than ten thousand men." 

"Kurt...." 

"Blaine, I'm tired of talking about it, I really am. If the way I've acted has upset you, then just say it, please." 

Blaine shakes his head, fiddling with the duvet. "I would find it funny, if I wasn't worried for my mom." 

"You're worried? You think she's in some kind of danger?" 

"No, but if they find out, I mean." 

"Don't worry, my sweetheart. Your mom knows she has us. Anyway, all this is just wild speculation, of course. We don't actually know who did it." 

Blaine smiles, letting his head fall back against the pillows. "Of course." 

"Night then," Kurt says brightly, flipping out the light. "Love you." 

He lies down and waits, but Blaine stays sitting against the pillows, making Kurt look up in surprise. "You okay?" 

"Not really," Blaine admits. "Can I ask you something?" 

Kurt sits up in the dark, finding Blaine's hand and raising it to his lips. "Of course you can." 

"Do you still want me? Like that?" he clarifies. "Because we haven't....anything....since Saturday." 

"It's only Wednesday." 

"I know." Blaine swallows, thinking maybe he's going to cause a needless fight. "But you said about us being alone in a hotel room, you made your dad stay in a hotel so we could... I don't know, maybe I got the wrong impression. Yeah," he decides, without letting Kurt speak. "I got it wrong."

Kurt sighs, sitting up in the dark and reaching out to play with Blaine's hair. "You didn't get it wrong," he admits. "I mean, I wasn't planning on some kind of sex marathon, but I was assuming we would...yeah, be intimate a lot, I guess." 

"So what did I do?" 

"Oh! Nothing!" Kurt cries, quick to reassure as much as he can. "Blaine, nothing, I promise you. I just don't want to hurt you. You haven't let me look to check for bruising, I ask you about it and you just say it's fine.... I didn't go near there because I didn't want to touch you and have it bring back unpleasant memories." 

"It is fine though," Blaine insists. "A little dull ache every now and then, maybe, but I'm not in any pain. If I was then I'd say. I love you, Kurt, but please remember I'm not a child. I might have been clingy in recent days, but that's because I need to feel you close to me for comfort, not because I'm incapable." 

“I know that, I do,” Kurt says, “And I promise I have no intention of treating you like that. It really is nothing more than I said. I just didn’t want to turn you on and have you end up in agony.”

“Well, I’ll let you know if that happens.”

“Okay.”

“Kiss me?”

Kurt smiles, sliding down into the bed, happy when Blaine settles next to him. “Now that I can do.” 

For Kurt, kissing Blaine never gets old. The touch of his lips, so soft and gentle even in the heat of passion, the feel of his tongue brushing against his own, the small sounds that escape him as Kurt tugs lightly at his hair, everything.

Every part of Blaine is wonderful, and as Kurt moves his lips along his jaw, down his neck and along his collarbone, he pauses at the hollow of his throat. “I love you,” he says, dropping a soft kiss there. “You are like....the best thing that has ever happened to me, you know that?”

“Yep,” Blaine says smugly, making Kurt laugh.

“Take your shirt off, mister. I need to worship you.”

Blaine does as he’s told, and Kurt wastes no time in trailing kisses over his chest, following the trail of hair that is darker and thicker since they first went to bed eighteen months ago. “Love this,” Kurt comments, kissing along the line that runs down to his pajama pants. 

“I don’t. Gonna shave it all off.”

“Don’t you dare,” Kurt laughs, then bites gently on Blaine’s hip to make him squirm. “You’re perfect. And I see everything is still in working order,” he remarks, as his eyes move lower and he makes out the shape of Blaine's erection in the dim light. 

“And I’m not in terrible agony, but I will be if you don’t take full advantage of this situation.”

They move slowly, making the most of being totally alone and together, with no one to hear them or walk in unexpectedly. Kurt kisses over all of Blaine, including his toes, which makes Blaine laugh uncontrollably, and they have to pause to catch their breath awhile before they carry on. 

Even when Blaine pins Kurt to the bed and undresses him, he’s still sniggering, and determined to seek out all of Kurt’s ticklish spots too, which he does, and then falls back on the bed, pleased with himself. 

“You’re more ticklish than me.”

“Shut up! Am not.”

“You are too.”

“I hate you.”

“And that’s your best comeback,” Blaine says smugly, “Which means I’ve won. I know when I’ve won, because you either tell me you hate me, or you call me a bastard.”

“Don’t curse.”

“Or you tell me off for cursing.” Blaine grins.

“Okay, okay, you won,” Kurt sighs dramatically, throwing an arm over his face and closing his eyes. “I’m more ticklish.”

“Yes! Do I get a prize?”

“Sure. Take your pick.”

“Hmm. Okay. I want you to rim me.”

“What?” Kurt sits up, looking down at Blaine with wide eyes. 

“No?”

“Yes! Hell, that’s a prize for me too. Get on your knees!”

“Oh my god that’s good,” Blaine rushes out, at the feel of Kurt’s mouth on him. “Oh...Oh, I might be loud. I can be loud,” he realizes. “That’s good. I can be loud.”

“Blaine?” Kurt pauses, resting his chin on Blaine’s back.

“Yeah?”

“Be as loud as you like, but for goodness sake stop rambling.”

“Okay. Okay!” he says again, as Kurt returns his attentions to the task at hand. “You won that one.” 

Kurt enjoys teasing Blaine, lightly circling him with his tongue, when he knows he needs and wants so much more. He bats his hand away when he tries to touch himself, and keeps his efforts up until Blaine is begging very loudly for more.

“Kurt, please! Just...oh my god, please!” 

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful,” Kurt murmurs, nipping lightly at one of Blaine’s cheeks. “You are so... mmm.” he goes back in for more, but he can feel Blaine’s legs starting to tremble, so he teases with the fingers of one hand instead, before gripping his hips tightly and driving his length inside. 

“Thats not your tongue!”

“Nope.”

“That’s, that’s...so good,” Blaine says, sighing in satisfaction. “So good.”

Kurt drives deeper and harder, panting with the exertion, but wanting and needing to keep up his pace. He holds off from touching Blaine for as long as he can, not wanting to be too rough with him, but when Blaine starts to beg again, Kurt takes him in his hand and steadily brings them both to orgasm. They collapse in a sweaty, messy heap on the bed, not speaking for a long time, until their breathing has slowed and they both feel sleepy. 

“Tiger.”

“Ha! Well, I have one on you there, for sure,” Kurt says, spooning himself around Blaine and kissing into his neck.

“I did not bark. I said your name, very clearly and concisely.”

“You said Kuuuur oh, oh, Kuuurgh,” Kurt teases, in a fairly accurate impression of Blaine when he comes. “And I might have growled, but I took you doggy style, so there, Puppy."

“Damn,” Blaine says as he realizes. "Well. We won’t be doing that again.”

“Really?”

“Ah, who am I kidding? Of course we will.”

They laugh together and gradually settle to sleep, so in love with being in each others arms, that they don’t even attempt to clean up until morning.

*

“So when I’m in the dorms,” Blaine calls out from the bed to Kurt, who is in the kitchen. “Is it acceptable to come to your new place every morning for breakfast in bed?”

“Only if you wear pajamas on the walk over,” Kurt calls back. “And only if you don’t mind getting it yourself, since I’ll be at work.”

“Not when you’re working from home.”

“Well on those days you’ll be making me breakfast, since I’ll be slaving away,” Kurt teases, coming back into the room carrying a tray. “Okay. We have pancakes, fruit, and apple cheerios with no milk, as requested.”

“They taste all wrong with milk on them,” Blaine says, as he slides something under his pillow and sits up. 

“Was that your letter?”

“Yeah.”

“You read it?”

“No,” Blaine sighs, as he holds back the covers for Kurt to join him. “I just did what I always do. Stared at my name in his handwriting. Do you think I’m dumb for not opening it?”

“No. I get that it’s a big thing, but I’m not sure what it is you’re afraid of. I mean, I know it will upset you, but what else?”

“I don’t know really,” Blaine admits. “I keep trying to think of what it could say.”

“Well there’s only one way to know.”

“What if it says he wants me to go on to become a doctor? I had zero interest in mechanics before I met Burt, but I used to go on about wanting to find a cure for cancer. What if it says I should do that? What then?”

“I highly doubt your dad would have been so specific,” Kurt says gently, watching as he picks at the little cereal O’s. “You would have been fifteen when he wrote it, I don’t think he would have known what your career path would be.”

“I’m gonna fall apart,” Blaine says nervously, as he takes the letter out from its hiding place and turns it over in his hands. “But I want to see what it says.”

“Do you want to read it now?” Kurt asks in surprise. “Maybe you’d rather be alone? Or with dad, instead of me.”

“Kurt, you know me better than anyone. You’ve seen me in every single emotional state there is. I want you to be here, and to read it with me, please.”

“Okay.” Kurt nods, setting the tray on the nightstand and putting an arm around Blaine’s shoulders. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Blaine’s fingers tremble almost uncontrollably as he slits open the envelope and carefully unfolds the letter. There’s a moment, where he can’t see any words because his eyes fill with tears, but then gradually his beloved dad’s handwriting comes in to view. 

“My Blaine,  
My precious son. I am dying. As I write this now, I have just come home from a consultation where we were told my cancer is terminal, and that I only have a matter of months left.   
By the time you read this, I will be long gone, two years at least, but I couldn’t let your eighteenth go by without wishing you a happy birthday now, could I?

I’m scared of dying. I’m scared of the amount of pain I will suffer and I’m scared of what happens to me after I have left this world, but all of that is for me to deal with in the empty, long and lonely hours I try to fill while you are at school. When you’re home, here with me, it feels as if all is right with the world, and somehow dying seems unimportant.

We belong together, you and I. That’s not always the case with fathers and sons, but it is with us, and I’m glad. You are the sweetest, smartest and bravest kid anyone could ever wish for, Blaine, and I am so proud of you. It is to my eternal regret that I will have to leave you, but I have so many hopes for your future, and I can only hope that somewhere, in your eighteen year old wisdom, you decide to listen to me. 

Work hard. That sounds like a silly thing to say when you always get A's, but keep it up, please. You are incredibly smart and whatever you decide to do in life, I have no doubt that you can and will take the world by storm. Studying won't always seem so much fun, when you have boys calling, or at college when there's bars to be visited and coffee shops to sit in with friends, but I promise you it will be worth it in the end. 

Respect others. Again, possibly a needless statement seeing as you're always so polite, but as you grow, as life changes around you, you will encounter people who you just don't like very much. For whatever reason this might be, always treat someone with the respect they deserve, even if their views don't agree with yours, or they're an arrogant jerk. Just hold your head high and walk away. Dignity always wins out in the end. Unless, of course, they hurt the one you love. Then you have my full permission to punch anyone in the face or burn their clothes. 

Which brings me onto my greatest wish for you. Find love. 

Blaine, this isn't an easy thing for me to write at all, but I have to be honest. I don't know what will happen once I am gone. There are a lot of things I am scared might happen, and sadly I think you might struggle to find your place in it all. So listen to your dad. Find someone who loves you for you, who wants and needs you to be a part of their family and who wants to keep you by their side. 

If your mom settles with someone new, and you feel like you can, let them be a father to you. I'm never going to mind, I'll only be thrilled that another man can see how wonderful my son is, and I will think them so lucky that they get to have your love. 

You need family, Blainey, you need that support system. Maybe your mom and I have made you too reliant on it, but I'd prefer to think it's just that we've given you a happy home life, and I think that if you have the opportunity to have that again, in whatever capacity, you should grab it with both hands. 

Fall in love, my son. Not with the first guy that looks your way, unless he's ridiculously special, but fall in love with someone who loves you for you. Fall in love with the guy who makes you laugh, and would do anything to hear it. Fall in love with the man who wants to know your favorite color, suffers through a movie he doesn't like because it makes you smile, and fall in love with the man who wants to know how you like your coffee in the morning. 

Marry the man who shows you off in public, who will hold your hand and proudly declare that his heart belongs to you. Marry the man who will hold you and dry your tears, who will listen to your anger, who will reassure you and support you and who will hold your dreams in his heart and make them his own. 

You deserve all of this, Blaine and so, so much more. Be proud of who you are, be proud of everything you do and be proud of what you will become. 

Be assured that I will love you forever. Remember that story I used to read to you? I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living my baby you'll be. 

My baby you'll be, Blaine, always.

Forever yours, 

Daddy."

*

It seems as if many hours pass, as Kurt and Blaine hold one another and cry, but when they're done, when Blaine's cheeks sting and his eyes feel scratchy and raw, and when Kurt's voice wavers but doesn't break when he's speaking, it is still early, and it is to Kurt's blessed relief that Blaine falls back to sleep without a word, emotionally exhausted. 

He texts his dad, not knowing if he's done the right thing or not, but knowing that he could use his comfort if nothing else.

"Don't ever die and leave me," he blurts, as soon as Burt steps into the apartment. "Just don't."

"He read the letter then," Burt sighs, holding his arms open.

"Yes," Kurt says into his shoulder, grateful for his strong and comforting presence. "Oh god dad, it was awful." 

He breaks away, taking his dad's hand and leading him to the couch. "I mean, it wasn't an awful letter, it was beautiful. But dad, it could have been you writing it to me. All that stuff, everything he said....he loved him so much, and he wanted all of these beautiful dreams for him and...oh god." Kurt doesn't even try to stop his tears, he just curls into his dad's side like he used to as a little boy, stretching one arm over Burt's stomach to keep him close. "I don't know if I can give them to him." 

"Oh, hey," Burt says, holding Kurt tight. "I don't even need to read that letter to know that you can give him everything his dad dreamed of, because you're already doing it, and making him so happy."

"Really?" Kurt gives a little sniffle, and looks up with wide eyes. "You think I'm doing okay?" 

"I know you're doing okay," Burt says firmly. "You know what? I'm proud of you for a lot of things recently, but the way you love Blaine? That makes me proudest of all. I know I always said I wanted the old Kurt back, and you would get mad, saying you'd grown up since then, but this is what I meant. This Kurt, the one with the loving and kind heart, who cares so deeply for his family. This is my boy." 

"Thank you," Kurt says, with a tear filled smile. "That means like....everything." 

"My baby." 

"Shut up now." 

"My baby Kurt, with his big blue eyes and his little button nose." 

"Seriously, I'll disown you." 

"Baby Kurt who pees in the bath water." 

"Dad!" 

Burt laughs loudly, pleased with himself, and pats Kurt on the head. "Why don't you go take a walk? Get some air. There's a bakery at the end of the block, get me a brownie." 

"He might..."

"I'll be here," Burt says gently. "Go on. Clear your head for a moment. Blaine won't mind." 

He has only been gone for ten minutes, when a groggy and disoriented Blaine stumbles into the living room, wearing a pair of boxer shorts and with his hair wild. 

"Oh!" he says, when he sees Burt on the couch, then turns and runs back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. 

When he reappears, Burt is expecting him dressed and neatly presented, his way of keeping control on situations he finds difficult, but he's not. He's wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, but nothing else and his hair is still crazy. He does, however, carry a letter, which he hands to Burt before curling up on the couch next to him. 

"You want me to read it?" 

Blaine nods, and rests his head on Burt's shoulder, silently reading the letter with him, until Burt folds it neatly and gives a big sigh. "I think that's wonderful. What do you think?" 

"I think he wanted me to find you," Blaine says, his voice barely a whisper. "Not that he knew you, or where I'd end up, but...he wanted me to find a family." 

"I think we needed to find each other," Burt says, putting an arm around Blaine's shoulders. "All three of us.”

"I don't know where I'd be without you." 

"Well son, whatever you think I've given to you, you've given me back tenfold, believe me. Think how far we've come, all of us, from when you first arrived on our street, huh? It's not just you and Kurt that have learned some valuable life lessons." 

“I think...if I couldn’t have my dad, I’m awfully glad I got you.”

“And I think,” Burt says, with a soft kiss to the top of his head, “that if my son had to have a boyfriend, I’m awfully glad that it’s my other son.”

“No, Burt,” Blaine laughs, “That is all kinds of wrong. You need to work on your choice of words.”

“Hey! You know what I mean.”

"I do,” Blaine smiles, “And I also think...I think I'd really like to just be silly today," Blaine says, still talking barely above a whisper. "Go to tourist spots, take a boat ride, I don't know." 

"Sounds good to me." 

They both whirl around at the sound of Kurt's voice, to see him standing in the doorway, beaming. He sets a box of cakes on the counter, and then, in a moment of pure, childish madness for him, launches himself onto Blaine and Burt, grinning smugly as they shout their objections. "We've got six brownies to eat first though." 

*

That night, Santana and Burt head to the movies. Much to Kurt's surprise, she didn't need paying off, in fact, he didn't even have to beg. He just told her he would like to cook dinner for Blaine, and she actually offered to take Burt out, so Kurt wouldn't feel guilty for leaving him alone in the hotel. 

The atmosphere is strange. After a day which was filled with fun and laughter, Blaine seems to close in on himself as soon as they are alone again, and though Kurt frequently asks if he’s okay, sometimes he doesn’t even get an answer, Blaine is that deep in thought. 

For now, he’s shut away in the bedroom, which suits Kurt perfectly well, as it gives him a chance to set two places at the tiny table and open a bottle of wine. He’s not even sure if Blaine drinks wine, but in a weird way, the fact that he doesn't know only excites him, as it serves as a great reminder of how much they still have to learn on their journey together. 

“Dinner,” he says softly, putting his head around the door, but Blaine takes a while to come back into the real world, looking at Kurt in dazed confusion. 

“Huh?”

“Dinner.”

“Oh. Right.” He dutifully follows Kurt out into the living room, blinking as he looks around at the many candles lighting the room. “Oh, it’s all fancy,” he says with a soft smile. “Nice. I should change, maybe?”

“No, you’re perfect,” Kurt grins, tugging him in for a lingering kiss. “Unless you wanna eat naked.”

“I’ll eat dessert off your naked body?” Blaine offers with a shy grin, as Kurt ushers him into his chair. 

“Deal.”

They eat in silence for a while. It is not a heavy silence, and Kurt is not worried, he’s just waiting for Blaine, who neatly sets his knife and fork in the center of his plate and looks up. 

“That chicken was good.”

“It was veal.”

“Oh.”

“I’m messing with you,” Kurt laughs. “It was chicken. More wine?”

“Um, no, thank you. It’s...I don’t really...”

“Like it? I can’t say I’m really enjoying it either.”

“I think you’re supposed to have white wine with chicken,” Blaine says softly, then offers a sly grin. “Red with veal, maybe.”

“Ha! Very good.” 

“He knew, didn't he?” Blaine asks after a while, staring at his plate. "About mom's affair." 

Kurt leans back in his chair, studying him intently. “Yeah. He knew.”

“And I think...I think I struggled at first, to think that maybe he wanted me to accept Spencer, but then I realized, that’s not what he meant, is it?”

“No, I don’t think he did. I didn’t know your dad at all, but from the love that was evident in that letter? I’d say he had more than a feeling that you might not be welcomed by him, and what he wanted you to do was find your own place, somewhere you felt you belonged, rather than somewhere you were forced to be. That’s how I took it, anyway.” 

“And I did find my place.”

“I’d say you did, yeah. You’ve certainly become part of our family. Dad and I talked this through a while back. We weren’t missing anything before you came along, but you made everything so much better, Blaine. You were the missing link that brought us all together.”

“I’d like to ask you something,” Blaine admits, still staring at the table. “But I don’t know how you’d react.”

“Well, you’re only gonna know if you ask.”

Blaine ponders this for a moment, and Kurt wonders if he’s decided against it, but then he speaks. “What would you say if I asked you to make love to me on this table?”

“Oh! Um...well, I’d say no, because it’s too flimsy. Look at the legs,” he says, wobbling the table for emphasis. “But any other available surface and I’m yours. Chair, floor, couch, wall. Kitchen counter, bed, shower...”

“Your shower’s too small.”

“True. Anyway, why didn’t you know how I’d react? You, me, sex? It’s always gonna be a yes.”

“Oh, no, that’s not what I was going to ask,” Blaine says, looking up and meeting Kurt’s eyes. “I got distracted.”

“You’re crazy,” Kurt laughs, coming around the table to sit in Blaine’s lap, and he’s happy when Blaine wraps his arms around his waist and looks up, seeking his lips. “but you seem happier.”

“I am. I’m moving to New York, I feel....cautiously optimistic about things with my mom, I have an amazing boyfriend and I’ve made both my dads proud. All in all, life is pretty good.”

“It is,” Kurt agrees, before kissing him tenderly. 

“Kurt?”

Kurt’s lips trail lower, as he loosens Blaine’s bow tie and undoes the first two buttons of his shirt. “Hmm?”

“Can I really eat dessert off your naked body?”

“You most certainly can.”


	44. Chapter 44

"This has been the best day ever," Blaine says happily, flopping back onto his bed in delight. "Ever ever." 

"Blaine, you've said that every day of this vacation," Burt laughs.

"Road trip." 

"Road trip then." 

"And that's because every day is amazing," Blaine says, rolling onto his front and watching Burt as he moves around the room, picking up Blaine's discarded jacket and shoes. 

"And tomorrow we get Kurt," Burt points out.

"Do we have to?" 

Burt laughs loudly, shaking his head as he walks to the bathroom. "I'll tell him you said that!" 

"He knows. I've already told him he's not welcome on our boys trip," Blaine calls, thinking back to his joking conversations with his boyfriend, which make them both giddy with delight and leave them laughing for hours. "He has to sit in the back at all times. Hey, can you believe we've driven so far? That Bessie actually made it to Florida?" 

"More than a thousand miles," Burt says when he emerges. "I knew she'd do it though." 

"I'm gonna miss that car." 

"I know, but Kurt is right, New York is no place for her. She's all yours though, when you move to the suburbs or whatever." 

"Hey Burt, can I ask you something?" 

Burt sits on his own bed opposite, looking at Blaine intently, as he always does when he's ready to listen. "Sure kid. Shoot." 

"Can I..." but nerves get the better of Blaine, and he clears his throat. "Can I use the shower first? Then I can call Kurt before bed." 

*

Burt sends Blaine to the airport alone to pick up Kurt, having no wish to witness their reunion after three weeks apart. Kurt runs, slamming into Blaine and scooping him clean off the ground, not knowing whether to hug him or find his lips first, or just tell him face to face that he loves him. 

"I..." is actually all he manages, before kissing wins out and his bags stand abandoned in favor of framing Blaine's face with his hands and kissing him deeply. "Oh fuck me," is all Kurt is left with when they pull apart, and he ends up going in for more twice over before he feels like he can actually let Blaine go somewhat. "I love you," he says, suddenly remembering. "That....that was what I was supposed to say, but then your lips....yeah. That didn't go like I had planned it." 

"I don't care," Blaine says, unable to shift his ecstatic grin. "Do you realize that we have five days together now, and then it's just two weeks until I move to New York?" 

"Really? Cause I'm not crossing the days off at all." 

"Nah, me neither." Blaine laughs, wrapping an arm around Kurt's waist and picking up his bag, before escorting him out into the Florida sunshine. 

*

"So," Kurt says, as he sits next to his dad watching Blaine swim laps in the hotel pool. 

"So." 

"He's happy." 

"He is," Burt agrees. "I think that letter was the final push he needed, to be honest. Like his dad was giving him permission to move on and to find happiness separate from him and his mom."

"I agree, which is good, you know? I think that one day...or I hope, rather, that Angie will come back around, but that could take a long time and I don't want Blaine stuck waiting, feeling like he can't move on. Now I feel like he won't do that, and that if she does come back to him, it will be a bonus, rather than something he's relying on." 

"Jeez, that's very insightful for you, Kurt," Burt remarks, giving Blaine a wave as he climbs out of the pool to dive back in. "It's almost like you're invested in this whole thing." 

"I might have given it several hours of thought," he says with a smile.

"Well anyway, yes Blaine is happy. There is one thing though." 

"Oh?" 

"He keeps trying to ask me something."

Kurt tenses on the sunlounger next to him, then takes a long sip of his drink, but he knows Burt is waiting for him to acknowledge his words. "Hmm." 

"Don't hmm me," Burt laughs. "You know what he wants to ask, huh?" 

"Yes," Kurt says, picking up his book and phone.

"You're not gonna tell me, are you?" 

"No. It's for Blaine to ask, not me. Tell him I'll be in our room." 

"Okay." Burt watches as Kurt walks away. "He just better not be asking what I think he's gonna ask," he says to no one, with a sigh. 

*

"Your dad might come in," Blaine gasps weakly as Kurt moves lower, kissing the inside of his thigh. 

"It's a locked hotel room," Kurt points out. "He doesn't have a key and besides which, he's not totally dumb. He knows what we'll be doing."

"We should wait until night time," Blaine says, then he groans loudly at the feel of Kurt's tongue circling the head of his cock. 

"Really?"

"No," Blaine moans, his head thumping back against the wall when Kurt takes him in his mouth. "No let's not. Forget I said that." 

Kurt had been on him the second he had walked through the door. The fact that he was entirely naked and hard had Blaine eagerly accepting his hot, wanting kisses. They had kicked the door shut, Blaine's swim shorts had been pushed to the floor, and they hadn't moved any further. 

"Oh my god, Kurt," Blaine cries, holding onto his hair. "This is....yes. This is what keeps me going when you're not here. The promise of your touch. Oh....fuck me, Kurt. Fuck!" 

Kurt pulls off, grinning up at him. "Can I just say, that watching you get off over skype is the hottest thing?"

"You can say it, yes, but please don't stop what you were doing." 

"Okay, but hold the cursing." 

He returns his mouth to Blaine's cock, working him over and loving the taste and feel of him on his tongue, until Blaine urges him upright again, not wanting this to end too soon. "Want you," he murmurs, his lips trailing along Kurt's neck until he sucks a small mark above his collarbone. 

"Take me then, right here." 

"Against the wall?" Blaine asks, and the look on his face is almost comical. 

"Yeah." 

"I don't know if I... I'm not sure if my capabilities as a lover extend that far," he admits nervously. 

"And I'm not sure if I can either, but let's find out," Kurt grins, pressing lube into his hand. "It'll be fun." 

And this time they both growl in pleasure, when Blaine first pushes inside. It is not exactly perfect, and they have to stop and readjust a few times, but Blaine doesn't feel nervous or worried at all. Far from it. The soft laughter they share, when things go wrong or the angle isn't right, or the way Kurt smiles and presses his face into Blaine's cheek, whispering how much he loves him, only serve to make Blaine's confidence soar, as he realizes once again how right this all is. How right and easy it is to be with Kurt, to let him love him and see all facets of his personality. 

If anyone had ever told Blaine two years ago that he'd one day let another man watch him jerking off over the internet, and not only that, but he'd enjoy it, or that he'd hold his boyfriend up against a wall as they made love, he'd have blushed and firmly proclaimed that he would never do that, but then, two years ago, Blaine hadn't fallen in love. 

"Holy shit," he gasps, when they finally get everything right, and Blaine can hold Kurt in place and move at the same time. "Oh holy shit, Kurt....love you....love you so much you're just...." he trails off, in favor of kissing across Kurt's chest and shoulders. 

Kurt's legs are wrapped tightly around his waist, his fingers digging into his back, as he holds on tight, their bodies pressed close together. Throwing his head back, he gives a long and loud moan in his throat, reaching down to stroke himself in time with Blaine's thrusts. "Blaine..." he cries, choking on a moan. "Oh Blaine...."

"Yes Kurt, fuck, fuck gonna...fuck!" 

When he feels Kurt orgasaming around him, his whole body clenching and then his hot come falling onto Blaine's stomach, he lets go, spilling so hard that he sees white, before he bows his head onto Kurt's shoulder. 

"Oh god," he pants. "Oh god that was....oh." He looks up, finding Kurt's lips and kissing him gently. "Wonderful." he whispers, a slow, lazy grin spreading over his face. "Just like you." 

"Mission accomplished," Kurt says, making them both laugh softly. "Only trouble is, now we've gotta move." 

"Ah. Um...okay." 

After much wrangling, they manage to extract themselves carefully, and Blaine tenderly cleans them both with wet wipes before they fall onto the bed, too hot to bother with covers. 

"You were cursing like a sailor," Kurt remarks, and he laughs loudly when Blaine tries to hide. "No! Don't be embarrassed. It was like...really hot." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. I think cause you don't curse often, when you do it's like...super hot, really." 

"You know, I like your dad, but I definitely prefer this choice of roommate." 

Kurt laughs, kisses Blaine's damp hair and holds him tight. "Yeah, about that. You still haven't asked him?" 

"No."

"Blaine!"

"There hasn't been the right time." 

"We discussed it three weeks ago. Since then you've been back in Ohio with him and then you've been on the road together for the past five days. Why haven't you had time?" 

"I didn't say I haven't had time, just that there hasn't been the right time." 

"Whatever, he knows you're trying to ask him something, so I'd do it sooner rather than later if I were you." 

"What if he says no?" 

"He won't say no." 

"He might." 

"Blaine, he will be over the damn moon, trust me. Just ask him, please." 

But Blaine doesn’t, and not for any other reason than the three of them are too busy having fun on their vacation. Burt gives in and they all go to Disneyworld for the day, which leads to him making endless jokes about how the two of them will never be ready for kids, when they still act like kids themselves, but he says all this while wearing a pair of Goofy ears and carrying a balloon, so he’s hardly one to talk. They also visit Busch Gardens and then spend two long and lazy days doing nothing other than relaxing on the beach and by the pool. 

Their days are easy, filled with laughter and endless photos, as each one of them revels in being part of such a family, but the nights belong exclusively to Kurt and Blaine. Bidding Burt goodnight and shutting the door to their hotel room leaves them both giddy with happiness and they quickly learn to forgo sleep in favor of talking, laughing and exploring one another’s bodies. 

“I’m gonna miss you,” Kurt remarks softly one night. They are wrapped in fluffy bathrobes and lying on a sunlounger on the balcony, overlooking Miami beach, after having shared a long bath together, something that is quickly becoming a favorite pastime for them both. Now Blaine rests between Kurt’s legs, running his hands over his shins as he looks out at the night sky. 

“Those two weeks? Same. New York soon though, huh?”

“Very soon,” Kurt agrees, leaning over to kiss him upside down. “I love you, Blaine. I love that each day I fall for you a little bit more, and I love this. Just being with you, you know? Just spending time in your company, it’s like....the best thing.”

“Do you think we’ll ever get bored with each other?”

“I hope not. We might have times where we need some space, or where we wind each other up for no reason, but I can’t see us ever getting bored, can you?”

“No. Not ever.” They rest a moment longer, and Blaine takes to playing with Kurt’s hands, kissing each of his fingers in turn. “I don’t want this to be our last night here.”

“I’m the same. This has been the best vacation ever. At least you get to drive Bessie back home though, and talk to dad, maybe.”

“I will. Can we go on vacation next year? All three of us?”

“For sure. What’s the good in having a car like that if we don’t get to show her off? We should drive her coast to coast.”

“I’d like that.”

“I’d like to show you off, too.”

“Like how?”

“In New York,” Kurt clarifies. “I know we don’t have much money...well, I don’t, but I’m gonna work really hard, I swear, so I can take you out and stuff. I want everyone to know that I’ve scored such a hottie.”

“Ha!”

“I’m serious.”

“I scored you, Mr. Hummel, not the other way around.”

“We could debate that all evening,” Kurt laughs. “But there’s better things to be doing with our time.”

“Such as?”

Kurt reaches inside Blaine’s bathrobe, running a teasing hand over his stomach, letting his fingers lightly brush lower. “This.”

*

Blaine and Burt bid Kurt a reluctant farewell at the airport the next day, before they set out for home. This time their conversations are full of college talk, and their second evening on the road finds Blaine ecstatic when his mom calls to wish him luck with college and promises that at some point, she will visit.

“I mean, she didn’t say when, exactly, but that’s good, isn’t it?” Blaine asks, when they enter yet another motel room.

“It is, for sure. I’m happy for you.”

“Why are you quiet then?” Blaine asks with a frown, and Burt sits down with a heavy sigh. 

“Oh, lots of things, really. We only have one more night left on the road, and then it’s back to work.”

“You like work.”

“I do, but it brings your leaving for college that much closer.”

“I don’t want to leave you. I wish you could come.”

“No you don’t,” Burt says with a smile. “This is college, Blaine. It’s gonna be so much fun, you won’t even have time to miss me. Plus, you’ll be with Kurt....”

“I know that, and I’m excited, but you....”

“Blaine, that thing you wanted to ask me.”

“Yeah?”

“I need to say something,” Burt tells him, and he clears his throat awkwardly before continuing. “I love you very much, and Kurt too. It’s fantastic that you see your future together but... I gotta say it, if you’re asking my permission to propose, for now my answer has to be no, I’m sorry.”

“What?” Blaine sits up on the bed, his eyes wide. “You think I want to propose? Oh my god no! No! What....why would you...oh my god! No!”

“What? Well what else is it then? Kurt said he knew, but it was for you to ask, and I thought...”

“Why would Kurt know if I was going to propose?” Blaine asks in confusion. “Surely it’s supposed to be a surprise?”

“Well yes, but...”

“I love Kurt with all of my heart,” Blaine says earnestly, “And yes, one day I would like to marry him, if he’ll have me, but not now! We’re having so much fun just as we are, and it’s not that I feel too young, but more that our relationship feels too young to be talking about marriage. He is a wonderful boyfriend, but every time we’re together we learn more about each other.” He blushes, as he thinks about exactly how much they’ve learned in recent days. “No,” he says quietly. “I was not asking for permission to propose.”

“Well that’s good.”

“Out of interest, why would you have said no?”

“For exactly the reasons you just said. Your relationship is too new. You spent eighteen months doing some kind of weird song and dance around each other, before you finally sorted things out, and I love seeing you two actually settled in a relationship. I have no issue with your age, or the gap between you, and in two or three years time my answer would be a resounding yes, but I think engagement is a very serious commitment, and I think you need to spend more time together first.” 

“So it’s not because you don’t think I’m good enough for him?”

“I am not even gonna dignify that with an answer,” Burt laughs, lying back on his bed and folding his arms behind his head. “You’re like the best trophy in the cabinet.”

“That’s good then,” Blaine says slowly and carefully. “Because actually, I was going to ask if I could call you dad.”

“Huh?” Burt sits up again, so quickly that he feels lightheaded, though that could have more to do with the words he’s just heard. “What did you....what?”

“Um...well...I talked through the letter with Kurt,” Blaine starts, as he fiddles with his hands. “Being with you, moving in and stuff, it was fantastic, but I was also sad for a lot of things. Leaving my mom on such bad terms, feeling like I’d somehow betrayed my dad, or like I was maybe transferring my affections...but that letter just fit it all into place for me. Dad wanted me to be happy, and like he said, I need a family. I've um...I've felt for a long time, in my heart, that you're my dad. That's not to say he wasn't, or isn't still but....I don't know. I guess if Kurt and I have a kid one day, it will have two dads, so why can't I? Not that you're gay but um... I guess what I mean is... I love you like you were my dad, and I'd like it if you had the title to go along with it. What D'you say?" 

"Um...." Burt starts, his voice unusually high pitched. "I'd be.....honored and overwhelmed and I'd feel....I'd feel complete, I guess. Yeah. Like....like you're truly mine. When I get to heaven, I'm telling you, the first thing I'm doing is finding Carl Anderson and congratulating him on raising you so well. He's an incredible guy, Blaine. I've never wanted to take his place, I've just wanted you in my life for some inexplicable reason, because the three of us together is just.... everything." 

"So I can call you dad and you won't mind?" 

"You can," Burt says with an impossibly huge grin, and somehow he manages to catch an over excited Blaine in his arms as he leaps. "My son." 

"Heh. My dad," Blaine says quietly over Burt's shoulder, trying it for size and happy when it fits. "You crying?" 

"Little bit, yeah." 

"Me too. A lot." 

"Yeah, actually," Burt pulls back wiping at his eyes. "A lot of tears here, too." 

"So can I borrow two hundred dollars?" 

"What for?" 

"Nothing," Blaine shrugs, "just, that's what teenagers ask their dad, isn't it?" 

“You fool,” Burt laughs, ruffling his son’s hair. “Depends, anyway. If you’re Kurt, it’s just ‘buy me this’ or ‘buy me that.’ You don’t ask, you demand.”

“Ha! Well, Kurt is Kurt and I am me.”

“You are,” Burt nods. “And now we’d better get to bed. Lots more driving tomorrow.”

They settle down on opposite sides of the room, but neither sleep for a long time, both too busy grinning into the darkness. 

*

The time flies, which is both a blessing and a curse, and pretty soon Burt and Blaine are piling into Burt’s truck to make the long trip to New York, where they are met by a completely over exuberant Kurt, outside his and Santana’s new apartment building. 

“Come see!” he shouts, bouncing on the sidewalk. “Oh.” He suddenly remembers he’s supposed to greet them first, and hugs them both at the same time, before giving Blaine the longest kiss he dare allow with his dad standing by. 

“Later,” he whispers, playing with the buttons on Blaine’s shirt. “You are all mine.”

“Can’t wait,” Blaine whispers back, with a little kiss to his neck, just under his jaw. “Love you, tiger.”

“Love you too, okay, now come see!” Kurt rushes out excitedly, and tugs them both inside by the hand, and up into the apartment. “Look!” he cries delightedly. “It’s so big!”

Santana and Kurt are all moved in, and the apartment looks impeccable. Two couches now face each other on the wooden floor, with a coffee table in the middle, standing on a large navy rug, a table over by the window, and the TV in the corner. There is a big book case which holds an assortment of books, magazines and photos in frames, and the kitchen area has another table, and neat white cabinets with black counters. 

“Nice,” Burt comments, but Kurt doesn’t stop there, showing them the bathroom and Santana’s bedroom, before his own, to which Blaine gives a low whistle. 

“I painted,” he admits. 

Blaine had always wondered what Kurt’s style would be if he had a choice over his bedroom decor, and now he’s found out. Beautiful, basically. He knows Kurt has an eye for detail, but he didn’t know Kurt could make so much out of so little. All his furniture, which had been a mismatch of different woods and colors, is now sanded down and painted white. His walls are a pale yellow and he has a white rug on the floor which is gleaming. The best thing of all though, is that his room is big enough to hold a desk with his laptop and all his work, which makes Blaine smile as he thinks of Kurt sitting there. 

“Look,” Kurt says, pointing at the bed which is now a white frame with blue covers. “You don’t have to climb over me now, you can actually get in and out on your own side.”

“I like climbing over you,” Blaine says with a mock pout, and Kurt laughs, sliding his arms around his waist. 

“You can climb on me any time you like.”

“That was not what I said.”

“I know.”

“Okay boys!” Burt calls brightly. “Let’s go get lunch then move Blaine into his dorms. I want to leave early, get ahead of the traffic.”

When they arrive at Blaine's building, it is a hive of activity, with many parents and students milling around. Blaine glues himself to Burt's side and follows him everywhere he goes, suddenly feeling very nervous for what's to come.

"I don't want to come here anymore," he whispers to Burt, as they wait in line to find their room number. 

"Yes you do." 

"I don't. I want to go home." 

"What, and no Kurt for four years?" 

"He can visit." 

"Blaine, buddy, you are too good to waste your life as a mechanic alongside your old man. You have a natural gift that you need to use. Kurt will be here to look after you, you'll be okay, I promise." 

"It's noisy," he says, making a face. "And big." 

"You've enjoyed the city every time you've visited," Burt points out.

"That's what I'll do, I'll visit," Blaine says happily. "Once a month I'll fly up to see Kurt and then..." 

"Kurt," Burt sighs, when he returns with three bottles of water. "Tell Blaine he's coming to college." 

"You're coming to college." 

"I don't like it anymore." 

"You haven't even started." 

"I don't want to start."

"Tough," Kurt declares, before swigging from his water. "You're coming. I need to get laid regularly and that just won't happen with you in Ohio." 

"That was not the approach I was hoping for," Burt says with a heavy eye roll. He hands the forms to the clerk, who smiles brightly up at them. 

"Hi there. Which one's Blaine?"

"Does it look like it could be me?" Burt asks, and the clerk bites her lip and looks embarrassed.

"Uh...." 

"This one," Burt points out. "The one who looks like he's gonna upchuck at any second." 

"Ah. Okay. Well I'll have Ava show you to your room, sweetie," she says with a smile, as an auburn haired lady arrives at their side, "and you don't need to worry about a thing."

"Why are you talking to him like he's five?" Kurt snaps at her. "He's eighteen for gods sake." 

"Be nice," Blaine hisses, as they follow Ava down the hall. "I have to spend four years here." 

"Blaine, if you're not living with me for at least two of those years, I'm gonna go postal," Kurt barks, as he strides along.

"Yeah, okay, I was just pointing out that I can't afford for you to annoy people, that's all." 

"Then they shouldn't annoy me." 

Burt laughs to himself, while Ava just looks appalled at Kurt's manner. "Ah, my boy, you never change," he chuckles. 

"Uh...okay," Ava says, giving Kurt a worried glance. "So Blaine, you're on the fourth floor." 

They all crowd into the elevator, and stand in an awkward silence waiting for it to open again, and it feels like forever until it does. "So your dad and brother will probably want to help you move your stuff in," Ava continues, as they head down the hall. "And then you might like to come to our orientation tonight?" 

"Oh, uh...Kurt's not my brother," Blaine says shyly. "He's uh...he's..."

"His boyfriend," Kurt says proudly, lacing their fingers together. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I just assumed..." Ava starts with a blush. "I thought this was your dad." 

"He is my dad," Kurt says with an almost snarl. 

"Oh. But...." 

"He's my dad too," Blaine finishes. 

"Yep," Burt says, thoroughly enjoying the poor woman's confusion. "These are my sons. They're also lovers." 

"Um....okay, so, room four six four," Ava says brightly, relieved that they've reached the door. She unlocks it quickly and throws it open, showing them inside. "Your kitchen and bathroom are just down the hall here, and living room directly opposite. Meals are downstairs, at the times detailed in your welcome package. Your roommate’s name is Brandon, and he's from Texas. He's not arriving until Saturday though, so you have a while to settle yourself in. We uh....we do say no overnight guests," she says nervously, clearly terrified of Kurt. "Because uh...it's not really very fair to your roommate so..." 

"Yeah, uh....this roommate," Blaine starts. "Is he...." 

"Oh he's LGBT friendly," Ava says, warming to this shy and sweet young man, with the most fearsome boyfriend. 

"He'd better be, or I'll break his legs," Kurt snaps. 

"Be quiet," Blaine and Burt hiss at the same time.

"No, no, he is. We try to match people accordingly, and you stated you were gay on your form," she says, flicking through her paperwork. "So you will be placed with someone sympathetic to that." 

"Thank you," Blaine says quietly. 

“So anything you need just ask downstairs, we’ll be there all day, and orientation is at eight.”

“He’ll be busy,” Kurt declares. 

“You really should try and come,” Ava says, trying to ignore Kurt as best she can. “It gives you a chance to get to know others on your floor at least.”

“He’ll be getting to know me.”

“Kurt Elizabeth Hummel!” Burt barks loudly. “Blaine knows you perfectly well. He’ll be there,” Burt tells Ava. 

“Is your middle name Elizabeth?” Blaine asks, utterly astounded. “For real?”

“Yes,” Kurt snaps, pink cheeked with indignation. “Thank you, father.”

“Mine’s Devon,” Blaine offers. 

“He didn’t name you. Be thankful.”

“I’m just going to....yeah,” Ava says, with an awkward sidestep out of the room. “Maybe see you tonight, Blaine.”

No one acknowledges that she’s spoken at all, they just stand there feeling as if nothing is quite right, until Burt puts his arms around Kurt and Blaine and draws them close. “I know, okay? Kurt, I know you’re snapping because you’re nervous, and Blaine, I know you’re about to cry if you’re left alone, but trust me, this is going to be amazing, for both of you. Blaine, you’ll make a ton of new friends and Kurt, you’re moving up in your career...but the best thing of all? You can see each other whenever you want. You can fly home together for holidays or weekends, I can visit you both, but you can do all of it together.”

Blaine gives a nod, unable to form any words, but he’s grateful that Burt understands how thrilled and terrified he is all at the same time. They spend all of the afternoon moving Blaine’s stuff into his room and unpacking, his model airplanes taking a place of pride on the shelf above his desk, and then, when the last box is emptied and the room looks a whole lot more welcoming, Kurt bids his goodbye to them both, telling Blaine to come to his apartment whenever he’s ready.

“You don’t have to go,” Blaine protests, but Kurt shakes his head. 

“I’m not sticking around watching you two say goodbye. I’ll cry, for a start, and I’ll be much better use to you if you come over when you’re ready, okay?”

“Don’t go on my account,” Burt says stoically, feeling incredibly close to tears. 

“No, really, I think you two need this time alone. I love you both, and dad, we will see you soon, I promise.” 

He kisses Blaine quickly, then hugs his dad tight. “Look after him,” Burt whispers in his ear, and Kurt gives a nod as he pulls away. “Love you buddy.”

“You too.”

“And then there were two,” Burt remarks, when the door closes, but Blaine doesn’t hear. He’s sitting on his bed trying to think back over the emotional rollercoaster that has been the last two years of his life. It’s hard to even comprehend how much has happened to him in that time, how much he has changed himself, as well as those around him. 

Sitting on his bed in his brand new college dorm, with the comforting presence of Burt beside him, Blaine finally realizes exactly how lucky he’s been. 

“Huh?”

“I said I’ve been lucky,” Blaine says quietly, not even noticing that his thoughts had slipped out. “In my life.”

“You have?”

“Two dads, a Kurt....” Blaine lets a small smile form on his face, as he thinks of his love waiting for him. “Yeah, pretty damn lucky.”

Burt isn't entirely sure he’d agree, but it doesn’t seem quite right to bring up everything else that Blaine has suffered through, so he keeps quiet. “Look after him, won’t you?” Burt asks, and Blaine gives a solemn nod. 

“I will.”

“Even when he’s being an ass?”

“Even then,” Blaine says with a laugh. “He’s funny.”

“He’s a bit of a rebel when he wants to be,” Burt remarks. “Likes to say things for shock value, but gosh, he’s wonderful.”

“Agreed.”

“And so are you,” Burt says with a look. “You can do this, Blaine, you know that?”

“Yeah,” Blaine says softly, the realization dawning on him. “Yeah, I can.”

Outside on the sidewalk, in the bright August sunshine, Blaine and Burt stand awkwardly in front of the truck, neither one wanting to make this moment real. 

“I’m uh...I’m really gonna miss you,” Blaine says, in a voice which wavers with emotion. “And my whole life through, I’ll never be able to thank you for all you’ve done.”

“It’s not over.”

“I know. But I also know I wouldn’t be standing here now, if you hadn’t asked me to help with Bessie that day. You changed my life.”

“Same, my boy. Same. C’mere.”

He pulls Blaine into a bone crushing hug, the kind that only Burt Hummel can give, and ruffles his hair for good measure. “I love you, Blaine. You’ve made me so proud already, and I know that will only continue. I’m only a phone call away if you need me, okay?”

“Yes, and I promise I will call,” Blaine says, crying freely and not caring what looks he gets. “Love you, dad. See you soon.”

*

Kurt is ready and waiting, with brownies, coffee, and a promise that he will take Blaine to orientation, and then bring him back here for the night. He holds Blaine while he cries for a while, patiently smoothing his hands over his back and kissing into his hair, and then, when he’s ready, Blaine looks up. 

“Wait there.”

Ducking out into the hallway, he returns with a bouquet of flowers, which he hands to Kurt, who sniffs the blooms before looking up and smiling. “What’s this for?”

“For absolutely no reason at all, but I remember once dreaming of giving you flowers just so I could see you smile, and New York is the place where dreams come true, right?”

“It certainly is,” Kurt agrees, leaning in to kiss him sweetly. “And this is only the beginning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge, massive thank you to all of you who have read, left Kudos and kind comments and generally supported me throughout.  
> These last few months have been the hardest I have ever lived through. This story has been my escape, and your comments and support means so much to me. 
> 
> The sequel, following Kurt and Blaine in New York together, will be called Feels Like Home, and will be arriving in January. Wishing you all a happy Christmas and every happiness for 2015.
> 
> Becky


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